To Love 'Ruto
by Drake Wilson
Summary: Naruto wished he could understand women. Between Risa's teasing, Yui's lecturing and his adopted mother's blatant disregard of the standards of a mother son relationship Naruto was struggling to stay sane. Now a pink haired alien has declared she will marry him and her sister is trying to create him a harem as her father sends assassins after him. What's a guy to do?
1. Chapter 1: High School Antics

Naruto: To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Edit! Changed Kushina's backstory and done some general cleaning up. Added some future story elements that Gid etc would know about to try and tie up some plotholes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru

* * *

**Chapter 1: High School Antics **

As Naruto awoke he found himself inhaling a familiar strawberry scent. It filled his nose and dulled his senses making him want to curl up next to the source. At least if would if not for the fact there was only one person he knew who used strawberry shampoo and would be found in his bed first thing in the morning and that was Kushina Uzumaki, his adopted mother.

"Good morning mom," Naruto groaned as he rolled out of bed and walked over to the rug that covered most of his floor. His room was relatively spartan with only a computer table with a relatively old desktop computer that he was continuously upgrading. Numerous consoles of varying ages and a large TV were arranged around the computer almost as if it were a small shrine to gaming.

"Five more minutes..." Kushina reached out to grab him but missed and instead wiped away the small trail of drool fro her mouth.

Shaking his head Naruto got out of bed and got dressed. She had always been a little too close for his liking, even if she was only his step-mother. Sometimes Naruto figured the only reason she hadn't tried anything is because she was waiting for something, although Naruto didn't know what it was. Despite her... perversion Kushina was a good person and one he truly cared for, although he could do without her more obsessive behavior. Admittedly some of it may have been his fault after the underwear incident.

After picking up his uniform Naruto glanced over as his mother started giggling in her sleep. Shaking his head again he left the room to get changed, not trusting Kushina to genuinely be asleep and just pretending in an attempt to ogle him changing. After getting changed in the bathroom, he grabbed a quick breakfast, making sure to have a breakfast prepared for his mother before leaving the house. He grabbed his school bag and left the house. No sooner had he stepped out of his house than he saw someone from his class.

"Good morning Sarenji-san," Naruto greeted the shy girl who seemed to jump in surprise.

"Ah, Uzumaki-san," The girl bowed her head. Even if she knew that Naruto was a kind person he still looked like a delinquent. His piercing blue eyes, tall and muscular stature as well as his bright blonde hair all made him stand out from the other students. That's before you took into account he tended to leave his school blazer open and never bothered to tidy up his shirt giving him more of a delinquent image. However Naruto had proven to her time and again he was a good person and one she would call a friend regardless of how he looked. "Good morning, how is your mother today?"

"Same old," Naruto shrugged dismissively, "How's your pet dog?"

"Lively as ever," Sarenji smiled as Naruto fell into step with her as the two started to walk to school in relatively comfortable silence. Despite their friendship Haruna Sarenji was still uncomfortable referring to Naruto by his given name and blushed to a ridiculous degree when Naruto called her by her given name so it was just easier to refer to each other by their family names. Naruto suspected he knew the reason but at the end of the day he didn't really care. It was nice to have someone to talk to regardless.

"Look at those idiots," Naruto sighed as he saw a group of teenagers spraying a panther logo onto the wall. "More of those gangster wannabes," Naruto shook his head then noticed the worried look on Haruna's face. "Don't worry, if they start something I'll deal with them."

"Please don't get into more trouble for my sake, Uzumaki-san."

"How many times must I tell you? You're my friend, I'll do what I have to protect you." Naruto glanced at her before sighing heavily and putting his hands into his pockets. All of a sudden his danger senses told him someone was going to bump into Haruna and he quickly put himself between her and her assailant.

"ARGH!" An orange haired boy wearing the same uniform crashed into Naruto who managed to stand his ground.

"Really? Is it possible for one guy to be so clumsy," Naruto sighed as he helped the boy to his feet.

"Ahaha…" The boy smiled weakly as he ran a hand through his hair, "I was in a hurry since I overslept. I guess I didn't tie my laces very well."

"Seriously," Naruto chuckled, "You must be cursed Yuuki-san."

Rito Yuuki merely laughed weakly in response. While he wouldn't call himself a friend of Naruto as they didn't really talk and he was scared of Naruto, he got along relatively well with the blonde. Although the strange look Naruto gave him every time he tried to talk to Sarenji always unnerved him.

"Well," Naruto gave Rito the look, "I have something I have to take care off, I'm sure I can count on Yuuki-san here to take you to class."

"Ah well…" Rito floundered.

"You're not going to get into trouble are you?" Haruna asked.

"I don't deliberately go looking for trouble you know," Naruto threw his hands up in the air, "It always seems to find me."

With a final wave Naruto sped up and walked towards the school leaving the two alone. He was aware the two had feelings for each other but neither had the confidence to confess. It was almost depressing listening to their awkward conversation and Naruto walked away before he changed his mind on helping Haruna and Rito get together. That had been a choice someone else had made for him and at times it would be so easy to forget that he walked a distance from them Naruto could still hear the conversation (if a lot of umming and 'ah'ing could be called a conversation) to the point that he was considering walking back and basically making them confess to get it over with. He frowned slightly at the thought of Rito and Haruna dating but quickly shook it off. There was no point thinking about such things too hard. As it was Naruto would die of old age before they even gathered the courage to hold hands, let alone anything physical.

As he walked towards school he started to focus on the conversations around him. Several people were talking about the latest gossip. There were more than a few comments such as 'Look at the blonde guy, he's kind of cute' followed by a hushed 'He's a delinquent! He's bad news,' but mostly rumors about how some new king of a criminal empire (wouldn't that make him an emperor Naruto thought idly) had recently moved into town and how he had a harem of women at his beck and call. Naruto would never understand wanting a harem. The only women he was friendly with were Sarenji (his only friend) and his step-mother. All the others were more like antagonists than anything. Speaking of antagonists Naruto noticed a group of burly things grab hold of a girl and drag her into an alleyway. Swearing as his hero complex kicked in Naruto felt compelled to investigate. He saw a small girl with green hair being man handled by three youths. The youths were all slightly taller than Naruto but that made no difference to the blonde haired protagonist.

"What do you think you punks are doing?" Naruto yelled, hoping that they would run away and save him the trouble of actually having to fight them.

"What? You looking for a fight?" The youths turned around. They were wearing jeans and hoodies with balaclavas hiding their face and had panther logos on their backs "We'll gut you if you get in our way." One of the three pulled out a switchblade.

Naruto glanced at his watch, "I haven't got time to deal with this." He gestured to the street. "No doubt plenty of people heard me and the police are on their way. Why risk a jail sentence when you can leave peacefully?"

"Die punk!" The knife wielding youth charged him with a simple lunge, which Naruto side stepped then simply tripped the youth causing him to trip and crash into a wall, sliding down in an undignified heap.

"Bro!" The other two yelled and charged Naruto simultaneously.

Naruto scowled as the two thugs lashed out at him, forcing him back. The slight range advantage of the thug's kicks was enough to keep Naruto at bay. Or at least it would if Naruto was the kind of person to let a few bruises put him off fighting.

"Man, you guys must be idiots. You could have left but now you're going to get arrested," Naruto taunted.

"Oh yeah?" One of the thugs lunged at Naruto, who ducked under the punch and retaliated with a fierce upper cut, knocking the thugs head back and causing him spit out a few teeth as he was launched off his feet and landed spread-eagled next to his knife wielding comrade.

"Two down…" Naruto was interrupted by a fierce kick striking him in the ribs and knocking him other. He rolled across the floor and staggered to his feet. "Son of a bitch!"

"How do you like that huh?"

"Ouch," Naruto rubbed his ribs, "That actually hurt." He spat up a bit of blood with a frown. "Who taught you to fight? Chun-Li?"

"You don't become the boss without skill," The youth grinned. "Tell you what, you've got a bit of skill yourself. Join us, The Panthers always have need of new blood. What say you?"

"Sorry," Naruto grinned, "Despite my looks I try not to get involved with gangs, especially not two bit low-lives who try and mug little girls."

"Bastard! You'll regret the day you crossed Soma of the Panthers!" The Thug continued the barrage of kicks until Naruto grabbed his leg. "Oh…"

"Yeah," Naruto grinned. "That's the problem with being a one trick pony." Naruto pulled the leg causing the thug to stagger forward straight into Naruto's fist, which struck the thug across the face causing him to spin slightly as he fell to the ground. Naruto watched as the thug struggled to stand up again, "Had enough?"

"This isn't the last you see of us." Soma staggered, "We'll be back..." His legs finally admitted defeat and he collapsed on the floor.

"Tch," Naruto turned to the green haired girl only to find she had vanished. "What… no thank you?" He muttered rubbing his hands and looking at the three downed thugs. "I guess I can leave this guys to the police." He frowned. "I hope that girl got away safely. I didn't see anymore of them..." He noticed something stuck to the wall where the girl had been pinned. It was a note written on a flowery note pad.

_'Thank you Naru-kun! I'll be seeing you later! XP' _The note read.

"How did that girl know who i was?" A small bleeping from his watch caused him to swear loudly. "And now I'm late for class."

* * *

"And what are your excuses this time Uzumaki?!" Yui Kotegawa crossed her arms and glared at the blonde haired student.

"I was saving an young girl from thugs," Naruto remarked as he crossed his arms. As punishment for being late he had to stand outside his class and after that punishment ended he had found himself being confronted by one of his primary antagonists on his way to the cafeteria. Seriously whenever he did something even slightly against the rules of the school this girl hunted him down like an avenger and struck with the fury of the avatar of feminine rage.

"Likely story!" Yui snapped. "You are one of the main reasons for the drop in morality of this school! With your scruffy appearance and constantly getting into fights and your… your harem!"

"I think I must have misheard," Naruto deadpanned.

"I know all about your wicked and immoral ways!" Yui pointed her finger at Naruto. "Your behaviour is completely inappropriate for a student of Sainan High!"

"Actually if our principal is anything to go by then it is completely appropriate," Naruto remarked before shaking his head, "And I haven't done anything inappropriate!"

"I have a heard first-hand accounts from another of your… slaves!" Yui seemed to be getting more embarrassed as the conversation went on.

"Slaves?" Naruto scowled before he put two and two together and sighed heavily, "Let me guess… Risa Momioka told you this. I swear that girl has issues."

"I don't want to know what perverted things she enjoys that you do to her!" Yui's blush seemed to spread to her arms at this point.

"I haven't done anything!" Naruto proclaimed his innocence.

"I'm watching you!" Yui declared before spinning around and marching off.

"Man what a hassle," Naruto sighed, "I swear I try and do a good deed and this is how the universe repays me? My Karma must be broken or I have one hell of a good time headed my way." Naruto glanced at his watch and cursed. There was no chance of his favorite bread being in the store at this time. "Damn it." He moaned but continued to the cafeteria anyway.

"Ah Great Sage!" A cheerful voice called out, "Please honored one. Tell me your secrets!"

"Great," Naruto groaned as he turned to the grinning monkey boy, Kenichi Saruyama and his best friend Rito. "Hey Yuuki." Naruto nodded to the orange haired boy.

"Hi there Uzumaki-san," Rito nodded back.

"Gah! Don't ignore me." Kenichi fell to his knees. "Tell me what powers allow you to have a harem of your own!"

"I don't have a harem," Naruto sighed. "You should know better than to listen to what Momioka-san says."

"Did someone call my name?"

Naruto turned to see Haruna and her two friends Risa and Mio had arrive.

"Oh master, may this lowly slave serve you," Risa stuck her tongue out at Naruto.

"What did I ever do to antagonize you?" Naruto remarked.

"You don't know?" Risa pouted sadly. "You broke this pure maiden's heart, using me like you did."

"I didn't use you at all!" Naruto frowned.

"I know! I feel so unloved," Risa fake cried. "All I want is a little hug." She made grabby motions with her hands.

"My Rape senses are tingling," Naruto backed away from the girl.

"All I want to do is make sweet, sweet love to you… and maybe tie you to my bed and not let you out until I am entirely satisfied after about three days of the messiest, sweatiest, most obscene, freaky…

"I'm out of here," Naruto shook his head and turned to leave, his stomach grumbling. He didn't have the energy to deal with Risa today. That and he could feel the jealous stares of the other guys burning into his back.

"Ah…" Risa watched him walk away. "I guess I did go a _little_ overboard."

The rest of the group gave her a deadpan look.

"Ahaha…" Risa stuck her tongue out and tapped her head.

* * *

Naruto sighed heavily as he laid down on the roof staring at the sky. Sometimes the stares got too much and Naruto felt he needed to get away and here was the place he always chose to get away. As he sat staring at the sky he felt a familiar presence approach.

"Risa," Naruto nodded at the girl who was looking sheepish.

"Sorry about today," Risa bowed her head. "I kind of got carried away."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto waved her off before his stomach made itself known, "Man I wish I had something to eat."

"Then have I got a gift for you!" Risa pulled a bento from behind her back. "Tadaa!"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked in surprise.

"Well I made too much for myself, you don't get this sexy figure by eating too much," Risa posed as Naruto opened the bento with relish.

"Hey this actually looks quite good," Naruto tried a bit. "Wow… this tastes good."

"You think so?" Risa looked hopeful.

"Yeah, this is pretty good." Naruto smiled at her. "You'll make someone a great bride one day."

"Ah…" Risa blushed red, "Hehehe I'm glad well… I er… Gotta go!" Risa left so fast there was actually an afterimage.

"Strange girl," Naruto remarked. When she wasn't being so damn flirty she was being so damn shy. Maybe the girl had some sort of bipolar disorder he thought to himself as he finished the bento before sauntering back to his classroom.

On his way back to class he walked by the nurse's office where he was suddenly dragged in by the school nurse.

"Why thank you for stopping by." Nurse Mikado released the blonde.

"Err... You're welcome?" Naruto blinked as the busty nurse took out a tape measure.

"According to my records we still don't have your physical results," Mikado smiled. "Now take your shirt off."

"Err...," Naruto frowned, "Hey wait a minute, I actually attended the last physical! You even took my measurements."

"Oh did I?" Mikado tapped her head, "Silly me."

"Yeah..." Naruto tilted his head. "Is there anything else?"

"Well I hear that you have been... Shall we say sexually active?"

"Oh gods..." Naruto groaned. "I swear whatever Momioka-san told you is all made up."

"Even so... If you ever find the standard positions are failing to excite you I can personally instruct you in a few more exotic positions." Mikado winked at him.

"What?!" Naruto staggered backwards. "I don't think that would be very professional."

"You're so innocent," Mikado smiled. "Well it is my job to educate you about such matters. Do you know how to wear protection?"

"I was there when they did the banana demonstration yes," Naruto nodded his head. His class had been shown how to wear a condom by putting it in a banana.

"Ah but have you tried putting one on yourself?"

"Er... No." Naruto felt as if his face was about to combust.

"Well then," Mikado smiled as she pulled a condom from her generous cleavage, "Let me show you..." She purred as she walked towards the blonde.

"Sorrygottagonextclassisstartingbye!" Naruto shot out of the office whilst Mikado tried not to laugh. He was just so cute when he was embarrassed. She replaced the condom and sat back in her chair, twirling a pen in her fingers and wondering, '_What can I do to embarrass Naruto next?' _

* * *

Naruto groaned as he made his way home. School never failed to tire him out. With the exception of Haruna, pretty much every female he encountered was such a hassle to deal with. Whether it was Risa's bipolar attitude, Mikado's teasing or Yui's lecturing; the end result was a tired Naruto. And the worst was yet to come.

He stood outside his house and slowly reached for the handle only for the door to swing open with such force that it nearly broke off its hinges then and a dark aura seemed to flow out of the house.

"Hey mum," Naruto smiled.

"Where have you been?" Kushina Uzumaki growled.

"At school," Naruto entered his house and dropped his bag, "The place I go almost every day."

"School finished twenty minutes ago! At full speed it should have taken you five minutes to get home!" Kushina declared, "You were seeing a girl weren't you?"

"No mum," Naruto took his shoes off.

"Even when you have a beautiful woman back home," Kushina clutched her heart.

"You're my mother, relations between a son and his mother are wrong." Naruto deadpanned.

"Ah Minato-kun," Kushina fell to her knees next to a small shrine, "Your son has been warped by the oppressors who deny our love."

"I'm getting a shower," Naruto sighed as his mother continued talking to the shrine. Of all the women Naruto knew, his mother was one of the most troublesome.

"I'll join you!" Kushina brightened only to pout as Naruto shut the door and pulled the bolts shut. "Naruto! Sons bathe with their mothers all the time!"

"Only when they're young!" Naruto sighed heavily. Sometimes he wondered if his life would be simpler if Kushina was his birth mother. His father had Naruto with another woman but when he married Kushina, both Naruto and his father took her name. From the very beginning Kushina had made it clear she wasn't his mother. That's not to say she didn't love him. She fussed over him as if he was her own son but she constantly made sure he was aware they weren't blood related and wanted him to call her Kushi-chan as opposed to Kaa-san. Then after the underwear incident... Naruto shivered. It was as if she had taken that as a sign that she didn't have to hold back and that she could express her love of Naruto in a more physical way. The number of times she had 'accidentally' walked in on him in the shower was astronomical. That's why Naruto had bought the lock for the door. It was hard to focus on showering when you had an attractive woman stood next to you naked. Especially when showering was the last thing on said naked woman's mind.

"Maybe it will have to be a cold shower," Naruto tried to shake the memories away. He just wanted a normal life, with a normal mother and a normal girlfriend. Was that too much to ask? He started the shower and closed his eyes as the water cascaded down his body. Blood or not, Kushina was his mother. He couldn't even remember his real mother.

He reached out to grab the soap when his hands found something soft and warm. He squeezed experimentally and received a soft moan.

"Mum?" Naruto called.

"Have you changed your mind about bathing with me?" Kushina's voiced called from outside the bathroom where she was trying (and failing) to develop psychic powers to undo the mind control someone had clearly put on her beloved Naruto.

"No..." Naruto opened his eyes. If his mom hadn't managed to sneak into the room then just what had he grabbed? Cautiously he opened his eyes and saw one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. She had long pink hair and an amazing figure. Speaking of which Naruto realized he was still clutching her breasts and let go of her hand before clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Hi!" the pinkette smiled at him. It was a pleasant smile that made him feel warm inside.

"Hi," Naruto cleared his throat. '_Well this is happening. Okay there is no way that she could have gotten in here... Am I dreaming?'  
_

"You remind me of someone I met along time ago," The girl looked thoughtful, a sight that had Naruto stunned by just how cute she looked. "I wonder... Are you strong?"

"I guess so?" Naruto focused on her face.

"Could you protect me?" The girl grabbed Naruto's hand with a pleading expression.

"I can certainly try," Naruto nodded, "but first maybe we should get dressed?" He gestured to their state of undress. "Then you can tell me who you are and why you are in my shower."

"Okay," the girl beamed.

Naruto opened the door and let the girl out first before looking around. The window was shut and there was no way his mother would have let a naked girl into the bath, even if she would the door was bolted on his side. Where the hell had she come from?

Naruto stepped outside just in tone to see a dumbstruck Kushina. She turned to her son and was suddenly propelled backwards by a blast of blood from her nostrils.

"Oh right," Naruto sheepishly grabbed himself and the pinkette a towel before leading her to his room. _'Wait a minute... I'm taking a freshly showered girl to my room... Is this my Karmic reward? No focus. She is clearly in trouble and needs help...' _Naruto suddenly felt very nervous before chiding himself and letting the girl into his room. He sat down and gestured for the girl to do the same.

"Nice room," the girl smiled.

"Thanks," Naruto smiled, "My names Naruto, what's yours?"

"Lala Deviluke," Lala smiled. "And you said your name is Naruto?" She seemed pleased at this.

"I know it's not the most common name," Naruto hoped he didn't sound too embarrassed, "Well it's nice to meet you Lala, so... How'd you end up in my bath?"

"I teleported!" The girl clapped her hands, causing a pleasant bounce in her breasts.

"Teleported?" Naruto blinked.

"Yup," the girl looked proud. "I used Pyon-Pyon Warp-kun, it's my own invention."

"Wait... You've built a teleportation device? What country are you from?" asked Naruto, visibly stunned by this claim. While it would explain how she bypassed his enhanced senses and just appeared on front of him, the technology was far beyond what Earth was capable of.

"I'm from another planet," Lala smiled.

"Another planet," Naruto repeated. "Ah I see." He nodded sagely noticing the girl's tail. "I must have slipped in the shower and knocked myself out. I should have realized this wasn't my karmic reward." He was interrupted by a smash as a strange flying creature smashed through his window.

"Lala-sama!" The small creature called.

"Peke!" Lala cheered. "You're alright."

"I am fine Lala-sama. Please you must get dressed. This planet is too cold for you to be exposing so much skin!" The being known as Peke transformed until it was a skin tight outfit covering her body. Somehow the skin tight clothing managed to cover everything whilst at the same time, leaving little to the imagination.

"Another one of your inventions?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Lala beamed at the blonde, "This is Peke, and she is my clothing robot and good friend. Peke this is Naruto."

"Hello," came a voice from the hair clip. "That name sounds familiar."

"It does?" Naruto blinked. "Huh maybe it is a common alien name then."

"Y-yes I am sure that is it." Lala nodded happily.

"Hey," Naruto glanced at his window, "I don't suppose you have a window fixing device?"

Suddenly what was left of his window disappeared as two suited thugs smashed through it.

"What the actual hell?" Naruto exclaimed.

"We are here for you Lala-sama. Please surrender and there is no need for any more drama." One of the thugs cracked his knuckles menacingly.

"I won't go with you!" Lala crossed her arms.

"We are authorized to use force if you resist."

"Listen I have no idea what is going on here," Naruto stepped between them, "But you have just broken into my house. I'd advise you get out of here before I call the police on you."

"Do not get in our way. This is beyond the understanding of your primitive species."

"We have thugs like you here on Earth," Naruto cracked his knuckles, "I know all about your kind. You have three seconds to get out of my sight or else I will defend my house against invaders. Three, Two, One."

The thugs made no attempt to leave so Naruto charged them, leading with the same uppercut that made short work of the thugs he had fought earlier that day only for the target to easily stop the blow.

"Huh," Naruto frowned. "This... This is a little harder than those thugs I thought earlier."

"Do not put us in the same league as a human." The thug holding his hand lifted him up and hurled him at the wall with enough force to crack the wall, leaving Naruto to slump down on the floor.

"Naruto!" Lala blinked.

"Now are you coming with us?" The two thugs turned back to Lala.

"Never!" Lala stuck her tongue out. "You big meanies! Why'd you do that to Naruto?!"

"Then force it is," the thug who had thrown Naruto stepped forward only to be suddenly lose his footing and hit the floor hard as the towel clad Naruto pulled the rug from beneath his thug seemed relatively uninjured but the important thing is the other thug was going to help him up, giving Naruto and Lala an opportunity to escape, which Naruto took without hesitation. He grabbed Lala's hand and ran out of the house.

"Tch...," the downed thug picked himself up. "It appears that the human is going to be difficult."

Suddenly an oppressive Aura hit the two making it hard for the two assailants to breathe.

"**Which one of you corpses hurt my Naru-chan?" **Kushina growled, her long red hair trailing out like fiery tails.

The two thugs looked at each other before looking back at Kushina. Then without any sign of hesitation they both tried to blame the other.

"**So you are both responsible. Good. You don't have to leave the mortal coil alone." **

* * *

"Are you ok?" Lala asked as Naruto led her away from his house. Luckily it was dark and no one was around to see a bleeding, towel clad Naruto. God only knows what chaos would erupt.

"I feel a bit dizzy," Naruto remarked as he wiped the blood out of his eyes. "I guess I took a bit of damage there."

"I'm sorry. You are getting hurt for my sake. I shouldn't have dragged you into this."

"Don't worry about it. Let's get you someplace safe then I can worry about my injuries."

"Why are you helping me?" Lala asked. "Did you make a promise to someone?"

"I'm helping you because you needed help. Do I need a better reason?" Naruto smiled at her. "So long as someone needs my help I can't give up. Sure I may get injured and maybe even die, but if I did nothing then my soul would die and I'd rather be dead than alive without a soul."

"I see..." Lala stared at Naruto's back as they continued to run. "Where are we going?"

Naruto skidded to a halt in the middle of a small park. "Ah... Good question," He laughed.

Lala smiled as she felt herself drawn to this man. He felt so familiar that she could have sworn he was the one who she was looking for, yet he didn't seem to know who she was. She reached for a necklace that she wore around her neck. It was in the shape of a leaf and had a pink love heart in the middle.

"Unhand Lala-Sama you savage!" An unfamiliar voice ordered.

Naruto paused and turned to face the source of the noise. There was a guy wearing strange medieval style armor and carrying a glowing green sword which he was pointing at Naruto.

"Seriously?" Naruto blinked, "You have teleporters and space ships but fight with swords?!"

"Swords are cooler than guns," Lala pouted slightly.

"Hand her over."

"Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged."

"He might not look like much but he is one of my home planets greatest warriors. Please..." Lala tried to stop Naruto.

"Sorry," Naruto smiled. "But I said I'd help you. Even if I have to fight the entire organisation that is trying to capture you."

Unaware that he had basically declared war on the strongest empire in the universe Naruto cracked his knuckles, "I don't suppose you'd be willing to give up and leave her alone huh?"

"Unfortunately I cannot do that. You need not involve yourself in this."

"You say that but when a girl begs me for help I have to help." Naruto looked at the knight, his eyes glowing with resolve.

"I commend your bravery," the knight nodded. "I will ensure you are buried with honor."

"Bury this!" Naruto charged the knight, before his instincts screamed for him to retreat. The knight's sword became a glowing wall of death as the swordsman swing it in a series of lightning fast strikes.

"You were saying?" The knight smirked. "I am the greatest swordsman on my home planet. Surrender and I will show you mercy!"

"I don't give up. Ever. I just have to think of a way to beat you..." Naruto trailed off as he tried to think of a way to defeat the space knight. If he got close he was mincemeat yet he was a close range brawler. His vision was blurring due to his flagging blood levels and every instinct he had was telling him to cut his losses. But he was Naruto Uzumaki and Naruto Uzumaki never turned his back on someone who needed his help.

"If you surrender I will not harm you. I will take Lala-sama and you can continue you average existence." The knight paused in his furious assault in order to look Naruto in the eyes.

"As much as I would love to," Naruto quickly used his towel as a whip managing to wrap it around the alien's arm. "I'll have to turn you down!" Naruto tugged before the knight had time to respond, planning on pulling him off balance before hitting him. Unfortunately the knight didn't even shift.

"You're human strength is nowhere near enough to harm me," the knight shook his head before tugging his arm and sending Naruto flying into a fountain where he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

'_Damn it. How do I beat this guy?' _Naruto thought as he struggled to stay awake. He could hear distant voices arguing. Then a scream from Lala.

"I will never give in!" Naruto roared as he exploded from the waterfall. His body seemed to glow with a strange new energy. Strange whisker marks appeared on his face.

"Naruto?!" Lala beamed. "That power... It is you!"

"What power is this?!" The knight blinked, "It is almost like Gid-sama but this is no Damus aura..."

Despite his wounds Naruto felt great. He willed his body to move faster and it did, closing the distance between him and the knight almost instantaneously and dealing a fierce punch that sent the knight sprawling backwards.

"How'd you like me now..." Naruto muttered as the energy faded away and he collapsed from exhaustion.

* * *

Naruto groggily opened his eyes to find himself laying in his bedroom. He tried to move but his head was killing him and as soon as he tried to sit up he feel nauseated and had to lay back down.

"So it was a dream after all, shame. That Lala was quite attractive." Naruto smiled as he closed his eyes again.

"I am pleased that you find Lala-sama appealing."

Naruto's eyes shot open and he turned to face the direction the voice had come from. "You! You're that knight! Wait a minute, you look as if you got run over by a tank."

"I know not what this tank of which you speak is but I suspect it is powerful," the knight's armour was mostly destroyed. His face was all swollen on one side and he had a lump on his forehead. The rest of his body seemed to be covered in bandages. Apparently he had been sat watching Naruto sleep, which Naruto found creepy.

"Did my punch do that?"

"Your punch did some damage. Your mother did the rest." the Knight winced, "Ah I believe introductions are in order. I am Zastin, Lady Lala's personal bodyguard."

"Bodyguard?" Naruto blinked.

"Indeed," Zastin cleared his throat, "You see Lala-sama is a princess of Deviluke. She is the heiress to the empire that rules over most of the known galaxy."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"She had run away from her father when you encountered her. He keeps setting up arranged marriages and she keeps running away."

"What?" Naruto repeated.

"By proving your valor and skill yesterday, you have won Lala-sama's heart. Congratulations," Zastin pulled a small party popper, "On your engagement."

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled out.

"Ah you're awake!" Lala entered the room. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Naruto forced a smile, "But what's this about me being engaged?"

"Well," Lala looked embarrassed, "You were so brave and strong and if my papa is going to force me to get married, I might as well choose someone I love!"

"Love? We have only known each other for a matter of hours and I've spent most of them wearing nothing but a towel and getting beat up. You can't seriously love me after witnessing that." Naruto sighed. "You're just using me as a way to get out of marrying your other suitors aren't you?"

"Well that's not entirely true..." Lala laughed weakly. "I feel like I've known you for a long time."

"Why don't you just tell you dad how you feel?" Naruto suggested.

"Papa is stubborn," Lala pouted. "He wants an heir."

"Maybe I could talk to him," Naruto offered, "Make him see reason."

"Er... Papa and reason don't go together well..."

"The last time anyone questioned Gid-sama he destroyed that person's home planet." Zastin added.

"Oh..." Naruto faltered before recovering, "Well I'll bet I can make him see reason. After all what father would put anything before their daughter's happiness?"

"Would you bet the Earth?" Zastin asked. "Trust me, it is easier just to accept your fate."

"No," Naruto shook his head. "Lala deserves to marry the person she wants to, not just marry me because it's convenient. Everyone deserves true love," Naruto finished passionately.

Zastin looked at the boy with newfound respect whilst Lala smiled at him.

"Here, here!" Kushina proclaimed as she entered the room. "Our true love shall destroy all that opposes it!"

"... Anyway," Naruto ignored his mother's outburst, "Can you set up a meeting between me and your father?"

"Of course," Lala nodded, "We should be able to reach him from Zastin's ship."

"Then let's do this," Naruto cracked his knuckles.

* * *

Naruto tugged at his collar as he stood in a large empty chamber. The screen in front of him was currently blank but would soon show the face of the emperor of the Milky Way galaxy. Naruto wished he had some clothing that was more suited for this diplomatic venture. His only suit-like outfit was his school uniform and even with it tucked in, Naruto knew he wasn't going to earn any points with his attire.

"Communication established." Zastin's voiced called out. "Good luck Naruto-san." He left the room closely followed by Lala, shutting the sound proof door behind them.

The screen flickered until it showed a silhouette sat on a throne. A trident tail flicked lazily as the figure turned its attention to Naruto.

"Who are you?" The voice struck Naruto like a physical blow. He was filled with a sense of worthlessness. He was nothing, just a speck of dirt before a god.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto forced out.

"Humph," Gid seemed unimpressed.

"I am here to talk about your daughter."

"I have no need for a weakling as a son in law, now be gone before I reduce your planet to ashes."

"I do not seek your daughters hand in marriage," Naruto took a deep breath, "In fact I want you to stop forcing her into arranged marriages."

"You would order me?" Gid's silhouette seemed to grow in size.

"Yes." Naruto flinched as the pressure in the room became unbearable.

"What will you do when I completely ignore your order?"

"I find you and kick your ass." Naruto was struggling to breathe but he wouldn't back down.

"She is my daughter to do with as I choose." Gid responded.

Something In Naruto snapped. He felt strange, just like when he fought Zastin. His body felt light. His mind was clear.

"You don't have the right to call Lala your daughter." Naruto snarled as the whisker marks appeared on his face again. "You act like she is some sort of pawn to marry off at your convenience, well so long as I draw breath she will marry who she wants!"

There was a deadly silence. The silhouette of Gid seemed to be shaking then the connection was cut.

Naruto felt the aura fade away and quickly started to panic. '_Crap... Did I just doom the Earth?'_

* * *

Gid was shaking with excitement. Of all of the possible people his daughter could have run into, it had to be _him. _No doubt the boy had no idea of his heritage but if he was anything like his mother... He would become powerful. Especially given that Aura. That was not a Damus aura, so it had to be Arcangus. Maybe he would have both, if that was even possible. Regardless, he would make a good heir.

"Fuu!" Gid barked as a small crystal started to levitate in front of him, showing a tanned girl with mint green hair.

"Hai XD." When she spoke you could here the emoticon. Whilst it annoyed Gid to no end, he had much more important things to sort out right now.

"It appears your charge has met my daughter." Gid frowned. "Is he strong enough to be entered as a suitor?"

"He will be :P."

"Good." Gid settled back. All he had to do is make sure that his daughter decided she genuinely wanted to marry this boy.

Gid scratched his chin before smirking. He would send Lala a copy of Naruto's 'request' and if he knew his daughter like he thought he did, she would fall in love with him genuinely or at the very least become genuinely attracted to the boy. And if some former suitors should get uppity and try and kill Naruto... well there was nothing like some severe danger to get someone to become stronger and get two people closer together. But the important thing was that the suitors would challenge the boy but not be enough to kill him...

Gid paused. "Ah what the hell?" He picked up a book labelled 'Lala-chan's Suitors' and opened it at a random page.

"Hmm... Yes he will do," Gid smirked as he gestured to a servant for a communication console. It was time to start making some plans. He grinned evilly. "This is going to be _fun_."

* * *

Back on Earth, Naruto was pacing around his living room whilst his mother stood watching him with a frown marring her face. He had been dropped off by Zastin and Lala who seemed to think that this would be the last time seeing him. Lala actually looked genuinely upset at the thought.

"Stop pacing around," Kushina chided him.

"I may have doomed the Earth." Naruto put his head in his hands, "What was I thinking?"

"You did what you knew was right," Kushina hugged Naruto and held him on her breasts. "It's what I love most about you, you fearlessness when it comes to opposing evil."

"And it may have killed us all."

"Well if we are to die," Kushina pulled Naruto's face up to look at her, "How about you and me..."

"Not happening," Naruto deadpanned.

"Damn it," Kushina scowled.

"Naruto-kun!" The door to his house was blasted open and a pink blur knocked Naruto out of Kushina's arms and into the sofa.

"Lala?" Naruto blinked.

"I knew Papa would approve of you!" Lala beamed at him. "The way you defended me... It made me realize I was lucky to have landed in your shower!"

"Ah well..." Naruto blushed. "It was nothing. I couldn't let you marry someone if you didn't want to."

"Papa says he won't force me to marry anyone. In fact he has given his blessings for me to marry the man I love when I told him who it was."

"That's great," Naruto stroked her head, "And who is this lucky fellow?"

"Why you of course!" Lala smiled.

"What? But the whole point of me speaking to your dad was so that you didn't have to marry me to get out of arranged marriages!"

"And you succeeded." Lala clapped her hands together, "I don't have to marry you. I want to! The way you got so passionate about me~ I fell in love with you all over again!"

"I... I'm flattered really," Naruto untangled himself from Lala, "But I don't love you. I mean I like you sure, but love?"

"It's alright," Lala looked fired up. "If you can make papa change his mind, then I will make you change yours! I will make you fall in love with me!"

"Good luck with that," Kushina muttered bitterly.


	2. Chapter 2: Hero Complex

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: EDIT! Changed most of Kushina's parts to match her new backstory.

Disclaimer: I do not own To Love Ru or Naruto.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Hero Complex**

Naruto awoke to the same strawberry smell as always. There was something strangely comforting about his mother's predictability. Speaking of which the blushing Kushina lay next of him, giggling and drooling in her sleep. Groaning he rolled over and froze as he saw Lala sleeping with a gentle smile.

"Well... that's new." He carefully lifted the covers of his bed to get out of the bed but quickly dropped them. She was completely naked beneath the covers and whilst Naruto appreciated the sight, it was a tad too stimulating for first thing in the morning. Taking a deep breath Naruto managed to calm himself and creep out of his bed without disturbing any of the two women still happily dreaming. Muttering a quick prayer of thanks to whatever God had helped him escape without waking either of them, he left his room and went to the bathroom to wash his face. Of course if he knew that the powers that be were only willing to give him one 'get out of jail free' for today he would have probably saved it for later on.

No sooner had he left than Kushina had rolled over and sleepily hugged what she thought was her son. She scowled something didn't feel quite right. Sleepily she poked what seemed wrong and got a soft moan from Lala as she prodded her breasts. The noise caused Kushina's eyes to widen as she fully woke up.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Kushina leaped out of bed and pointed at Lala who blinked and cutely yawned as the covers fell off her naked body.

"Good morning," Lala beamed as she stretched out.

"Good morning my ass!" Kushina growled. "I was hoping to have an early morning mother son bonding session!"

"Somehow I get the feeling that what you were planning would be completely inappropriate for a mother and a son." Naruto dead panned as he re-entered his room before quickly spinning around. "Put some clothes on!"

"Peke!" Lala called out and said clothing robot quickly dressed Lala in her strange alien cosplay outfit.

"Thanks," Naruto turned back. "Now what were you doing in my bed?"

"I wanted to sleep with you. I am going to be your wife. Isn't it natural for a husband and wife to sleep together?" Lala asked innocently.

"Well yes…" Naruto started. "But we aren't husband and wife."

"Yet." Lala corrected.

"Ever." Kushina growled.

"Listen I would love to continue this discussion," Naruto grabbed his school uniform from his closet. "But I have places to be so… see you later."

"Oh? Where are you going?" Lala tilted her head.

"School." Naruto said before shutting the door behind him.

"School?" Lala turned to Kushina, "Can I go?"

"You can't just wander into school and join," Kushina shook her head. "There is paperwork and interviews to see if you can get in."

"I see…" Lala brightened up. "So if I can fill in the paperwork then I can go to school."

"If you pass the interview yes," Kushina nodded. "But you need a signature from a guardian that is registered as a resident of Earth to complete the paper work."

"Would you sign my paperwork?" Lala asked.

"Hah!" Kushina snorted. "And give you a chance to steal away my Naru-chan!"

"I won't steal him away." Lala smiled widely. "As the Emperor of the Milky Way galaxy he will be expected to take on many brides."

"…What?" Kushina paused.

"It is a sign of status, the number of women who love you and have your children represents how good a ruler you are." Lala stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the known galaxy. "As the Emperor that means he has to have at least 4 wives minimum."

"4 wives?"

"And since you say you are not actually blood related and Earth documents don't really mean much to a Devilukean court then that means you are able to marry him as well. "

"…" Kushina went silent.

"And if we work together there is no way Naruto will be able to resist falling in love with us!" Lala held out a hand to Kushina. "So what do you say? Partners?"

"…" Kushina grabbed Lala in a bear hug.

"I'll take that as a yes," Lala beamed.

* * *

Naruto sighed loudly as he sat with his head resting on the desk. "I feel as if my life is suddenly going to get more complicated."

"Are you okay Uzumaki-san?" Haruna glanced at her childhood friend sat next to her.

"That remains to be seen," Naruto straightened up as the other members of his class filtered in slowly. "Yesterday was a bit of a pain for me. I ended up having to deal with someone even more troublesome than my mother."

"I see," Haruna smiled softly, "I hope everything works out OK."

"Meh," Naruto stretched out. "I always end up landing on my feet. I'll be fine!" He gave her a grin and a thumbs up.

Class went slowly as usual for the blonde haired protagonist. Maths just wasn't really his strong point. He wasn't stupid but neither was he particularly gifted academically. He could pass his exams comfortably which was enough for him.

As the teacher droned on Naruto started to stare out of the window and blinked as he spotted some unfamiliar faces on the school grounds. There was a group of seven teens wearing full black tracksuits with a panther emblazoned on the back. _'Those are those panther thugs again.' _He thought to himself. _'Wonder what they are doing here. If they are trying to cause trouble…' _He frowned. _'I guess the teacher's can call the police or something so long as nobody does anything stupid._

"Uzumaki!" The teacher called. "Are you paying attention?"

"Sorry Sensei," Naruto replied. "I was distracted by those delinquents." He nodded out of the window and the entire class got out of their seats to stare.

"Back in your seats," The bespectacled teacher called before peering out of the window himself. "Hmm… They do look somewhat suspicious but you should focus on your studies. I am sure that the situation is under control."

"Yes Sensei." Naruto replied and turned his head to face the teacher who continued his lecture, although Naruto's eyes never left the group of delinquents. They were walking around the school grounds knocking over litter bins but otherwise not doing much. _'They're pretty juvenile if they think knocking over some bins makes them look like bad asses.' _

Eventually the bell rung to signal the end of the lesson and Naruto left the classroom.

"Did you see those thugs outside?" A small group of girls were chatting as Naruto made his way to the cafeteria.

"I know, they are so scary!"

"I heard that the police have been called."

"They'd better arrive soon!"

"Oh scared are you Maki-chan?"

"N-No! But Kotegawa-san went to give them a peace of her mind! They might attack her if she isn't careful!"

"Damn it," Naruto felt his appetite leave him. _'I can't just stay here if Kotegawa's in trouble. Why did she have to do something so stupid.' _

"You should stop skipping school and stop this shameless behavior!" Yui yelled at the group as Naruto arrived. Judging by the looks on the thugs faces she had been lecturing them and was getting on their nerves.

"Why don't you just shut up you dumb broad?" One of the thugs pointed a baseball bat at Yui.

"Yeah," Another who licked a switch blade leered at her, "All you bimbos are good for is screwing!"

"What did you say?" Yui's eyes narrowed. "It is people like you that are causing the moral backbone of our very society to decay!"

"I don't know what you mean but your tone of voice is pissing me off!" The baseball bat wielding thug swung said bat at Yui who froze in shock.

Without a second's hesitation Naruto charged forwards and blocked the attack with his arm resulting in the bat exploding into splinters.

"Ouch," Naruto plucked a few splinters out of his arm while the thugs suddenly jumped backwards and into fighting stances. "That hurt. If you'd have hit Yui-chan here you could have seriously hurt her.."

"D… Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui pointed at Naruto whilst blushing.

"So…" Naruto clenched his fists. "Are you going to leave peacefully?"

"We aren't afraid of you!" The thug with the broken bat threw it to the ground and pulled out a switchblade. "I'll cut you first then your little girlfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Yui's blush was threatening to take over her entire body at this point.

"Why do your kind of people always want to fight?" Naruto sighed. "Still if you have weapons and aren't willing to leave peacefully I guess I'll have to do something about that." And with that he launched himself at the thug that had tried to harm Yui. The yankee tried to slash Naruto but the blonde grabbed his arm and delivered a fierce kick to the goon's chest, causing him to drop the knife and double over wheezing. Naruto lazily kicked the knife away from the thug before delivering a round house kick that struck the thug in the head and caused him to fly a good twelve feet before crashing into an unconscious heap. "Despite this never working, I figure I'll give you a chance to take your leave without this going any further."

"Bastard!" Two charged him together, brandishing brass knuckles and small knives. Naruto ducked under a brass knuckle and delivered a powerful uppercut to the would-be attacker causing him to flip over backwards and hit the ground hard. A knife lunge was sidestepped and the person ran into Naruto's outstretched arm, his head jerking backwards from the clothesline as he too fell to the floor.

Seeing the ease of which Naruto dispatched two more of their members, the remaining thugs pulled out baseball bats and knives before glaring at the blonde.

"Catch this you bastard!" One of the thugs threw his knife at Naruto who was fortunately struck by the wooden end of the knife. "Argh... Damn it!"

"Why not just cut your losses and drag your pathetic friends out of here?" Naruto offered. "I'm sure the teachers have called the police by now. Why hang around and get arrested?"

"We Panthers have our pride!" One of the gang members smirked. His tracksuit appeared to be of a better quality that the others and he had a military style rank badge on his arm. Naruto assumed he was the leader. "And we also have our weapons!" He pulled out a gun.

'_Not good.' _Naruto's eyes widened. _'How'd he get a gun in Japan? These Panthers are starting to look less like a delinquent group and more like an organised crime ring!' _

"Not so tough now are you?!" He laughed manically. "Now I'll give you a choice! You either stand there and let my men kick the living daylights out of you… or I start taking pot shots at the students, starting with your girlfriend over there."

"You bastard…" Naruto growled.

"What was that?" The gun wielding thug smirked and cocked the hand gun, pointing it at Yui.

"Fine… you win," Naruto glared at the leader. "I won't fight back."

"You heard him boys!" The leader laughed as they fell on Naruto wielding baseball bats. They struck without mercy, Naruto just standing there and taking the hits as Yui screamed at them to stop. After ten minutes of uninterrupted attacks the heavily panting thugs stepped away.

Naruto was a mess. His face was bloody and the steady dripping of blood from his arm as well as the odd shape suggested that at least one arm was badly broken. Yet even as he took enough punishment to kill a normal human, he never let a single cry of pain escape his lips. He stood defiant, his fierce blue eyes glaring at the gun wielding thug.

"Not so hot now are you?" The leader snorted.

"That's… not what your mother said last night…" Naruto muttered through gritted teeth.

"You are dead," The leader snarled before turning the gun on Naruto and pulling the trigger.

Naruto's senses seemed to go into overdrive. He saw the bullet moving towards him and willed his body to move. The bullet seemed to be travelling at a snail's pace but Naruto's body refused to respond.

'_Am I going to die?' _His mind threw up images. Kushina weeping over his grave. Lala, Haruna and Risa looking sad. Yui blaming herself for him dying. _'To hell with that!' _Naruto suddenly felt energised and forced his body out of the path of the bullet. The thug's eyes slowly widened as Naruto forced himself to move towards him as his senses kept the world moving slowly. He started to feel lighter as a blue energy filled him. Whiskers appeared on his face and he found himself easily dodging the shots as the thug fired round after round at him. He pointed the gun at Yui and with a defiant snarl fired his last bullet. Naruto watched and reached out as the slow motion started to fade and his body got heavier. Just as time returned to normal, Naruto grabbed to bullet and winced as the bullet hit his hand, yet a small glimmer of the blue energy remained, preventing the bullet from piercing his hand.

"What the hell?!" The leader staggered backwards.

"You dropped this," Naruto opened his hand revealing the bullet. His body felt heavy but his arms seemed to have miraculously healed. Rather than pain he just felt incredibly fatigued. He flicked it, striking the bullet with what little blue energy he had left, causing the bullet to fire quicker than if a gun had fired it. It struck the leader's gun causing it to explode into its individual components.

"M…Monster!" The leader turned to run, quickly followed by the few thugs that were still conscious.

"That was tiring…" Naruto remarked as the blue energy and whiskers finally completely faded away.

"Uzumaki-san…" Yui looked at the blonde with tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He turned to look at her.

"Idiot," Yui whimpered. "I'm the one who should be asking that."

"If you're calling me names then you are ok," Naruto grinned his usual cheeky grin that made Yui feel all warm inside. "I'm glad you're alright." And with that he passed out and fell to the floor, not hearing Yui scream his name.

"Quick!" Yui turned to face some students who had stood to watch, "Help me carry him to the nurses office!"

"Shouldn't we call an ambulance?" A student suggested before cowering under Yui's fierce gaze.

"Fine… call the police to deal with these lowlifes," Yui threw one of Naruto's arms over her shoulder and was helped by nurse Mikado.

"Ara," Mikado smiled, "It looks like Naruto-kun has gotten himself into trouble again, Let's get him to my office okay?"

Yui nodded as the two woman carried the unconscious blonde to the infirmary. Mikado asked Yui to wait outside as she did some checks on Naruto.

Standing outside Yui stared off into space until Mikado assured her he was not harmed and went to go inform his teacher that he would be missing the class. Yui simply sat next to his bed and was lulled to sleep by the gentle sound of Naruto's breathing and slept into a troubled dream.

_A seven year old Yui cowered as the other older girls kicked her. She was curled up in the foetal position trying to protect her head. _

"_Little miss prim and proper should learn her place!" One of the girls mocked as she lashed out at Yui. She looked at least thirteen, "Because of your comments my boyfriend thinks I'm easy!" _

"_Yeah!" Her two minions joined in with no remorse. _

"_Hey! What do you hags think you are doing?!" A loud voice distracted the girls who turned to face a young blond boy. He was wearing blue trousers and an orange shirt._

"_Hags? Sounds like someone is asking for a beating," The leader smirked as they left a whimpering Yui and turned to the newcomer._

"_I don't like fighting girls… fortunately I have no problem fighting hags!" The Seven year old Naruto proclaimed loudly. _

"_Why I ought to…" The girl lashed out at Naruto who easily dodged her attack and pushed her over, causing her to scrape her elbow. The girl burst into tears and ran away, her minions following her. _

"_Are you okay? My names Naruto," Naruto helped Yui to her feet who nodded and sniffled. She stayed quiet the whole time Naruto was walking with her to her house, only speaking up to give him directions. Leaving her in the worried arms of her family, Naruto left the house only to be stopped by a group of twelve thirteen year olds including the three girls that had been bullying her. Yui could do nothing but watch from her room as the group ganged up on the blonde and beat him up. He managed to take down three of his aggressors but the extra strength and numbers of the older children soon showed. She should have done something but she was too scared. She was always too scared. She never even told the boy her name. _

A tear trailed down the sleeping Yui's face. The more things change the more things stay the same.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he woke up. His entire body felt like it had been eaten up, swallowed, spat back up then given the same treatment all over again. He was laid in the school infirmary.

"Ah… here again," Naruto remarked as he pulled the covers off only to freeze. He wasn't wearing anything other than his shirt. He started furiously looked around only to see a sleeping Yui sat on a chair next to his bed. Praying to any god that might be listening that Yui didn't wake up until he found something to wear, he crept around the infirmary.

'_Where the hell are my clothes?' _Naruto mentally cried. This whole situation had Mikado written all over it. For some reason the nurse seemed to take a perverse pleasure in putting him in embarrassing situations like this and for the life of him he couldn't work out why. She didn't seem to take this interest in anyone else, at least he hadn't heard anyone complaining about her behaviour. He looked at the bed next to his and noticed that something was underneath.

He got on his knees and looked underneath the bed and found his clothes. Grinning widely he crawled under the bed with his back to Yui.

If Naruto had been able to see the future, it was now that he would have wanted to use his get out of jail free card. Unfortunately having used his celestial favour for the day, he was left to the cruel romantic comedy gods and they knew exactly how they wanted this scene to play out. With a cute little yawn, Yui woke up.

"Uzumaki-san…" Yui blinked and sleepily looked at him. Then froze as she realised she was staring at his naked rear. '_He has an amazingly toned… how wait! I can't think like that!' _"What are you doing Uzumaki-san?!"

Naruto jumped from shock, banging his head on the bottom of the bed and cursed loudly.

"W..Why are you naked?!" Yui stammered.

"It's not what it looks like!" Naruto leapt to his feet in order to defend himself. _'Not that I'm sure what it looked like but judging by her expression it isn't anything good.' _

Yui looked at his face. She knew that if she looked down _she_ would be the pervert in this situation. So she focused all of her willpower and keeping her eyes on his face.

"What is it then?" She managed.

"I woke up like this," Naruto gestured to his naked (at least where it mattered) state.

Yui foolishly followed the gesture and got an eyeful. "Gah! It appears you are an exhibitionist! Do your perversions know no end?" Yui cried as she covered her eyes with her hands.

Naruto covered himself as Yui turned her back on him. "Just let me get dressed…"

"I'm not looking," Yui remarked.

"Thanks," Naruto weakly chuckled as he got dressed.

Yui stared at the wall trying to ignore the rustling of clothes behind her and trying her best to suppress the images of Naruto that were threatening to burn themselves into her brain.

"Okay you can turn around now," Naruto stood wearing his school uniform. "Seems like it has been cleaned. I guess I have you and Nurse Mikado to thank for that."

"You are okay." Yui stated. "I was just here to make sure that you weren't badly injured. After all it is my duty as a student at this school."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto smiled as Yui started out of the room. "Hey Yui-chan?"

"Do not address me so familiarly!" Yui turned to chastise him but froze when she saw his honest smile.

"Thanks," He beamed at her and Yui merely squeaked before leaving the room, trying to steady her heart. "Guess she doesn't like me," Naruto remarked sadly. "Ah well can hardly blame her. She did just get an eyeful of Naruto junior." Naruto clapped his hands in prayer. "Please let this not get around. Last thing I need is for Risa questioning Yui about my size or something."

"I would have thought that you would have loved the girls to know, after all you are not lacking in that department." Mikado leant on the doorway as she smiled at the blonde.

"AH!" Naruto leapt backwards and pointed at the nurse. "It's you! You're responsible for that scene with Yui-chan!"

"Oh my…" Mikado purred. "How could I examine the extent of your injuries if I didn't remove your clothes?"

"All the blows were to my upper body." Naruto deadpanned. "No damage was dealt below the waist. Yet you left my shirt on!"

"Well I had to make sure that your most important parts were… functioning." Mikado winked slyly.

"I do not like the way you said that…" Naruto shivered.

"Well there was one part that I didn't have time to _fully_ examine as it was sleeping." Mikado grinned sexily. She pulled out some latex gloves and put them on, "So let's make sure 'Naruto Junior' is working correctly."

"It'sfinethankyouverymuchohisthatthetimeireallyhavetogetgoingbye!" Naruto practically dived out of the window to avoid getting to close to the sexy nurse, who walked up to the window and watched him scamper down a tree and out of the school grounds.

"My, my," Mikado chuckled. "You are ever interesting Naruto Uzumaki. An enigma…" She glanced at the clipboard she was carrying with notes on Naruto's physical condition. "And one I fully intend to solve."

* * *

Meanwhile back at Casa De Uzumaki, Operation Win Naruto's heart was being planned.

"So let me get this straight," Kushina crossed her arms and stared at the smiling pink haired alien. "You want me to do nothing?"

"That's right," Lala nodded. "From what you said Naruto has grown immune to your constant attempts to seduce him. By constantly doing it he just expects you to do it." Lala pulled out a Devilukian magazine, "It says here that by suddenly withdrawing your love he will stop taking it for granted and will start to actively pursue you in order to get the love back!"

"And while I'm doing nothing… what are you planning to do?"

"This magazine says love is a battle," Lala stood up straight in a parody of a military salute. "And no battle was won with poor intelligence. I will spend more time with Naruto and learn all of his likes and dislikes, all the while slowly winning him over!"

"So while you get all cosy with Naruto I'm expected to sit back and watch." Kushina nodded her head. "LIKE HELL!" She flipped over the table. "This is just a plan to steal my precious Naru-chan!"

"No!" Lala shook her head furiously. "Naruto seems to keep people at an arm's distance. If I can't get close to him then I can open the way for others, such as yourself, to also get close to him!" Lala replied honestly.

"Is that so?" Kushina's eyes narrowed as she watched Lala. She appeared to be honest but then again she was an alien and that means her body language could be completely different. In fact her whole genetic makeup would be… Kushina's eyes widened. "But you aren't human." Kushina pointed out. "Naru-chan always wanted a big family with lots of sons and daughters but you aren't human! You can't give birth to his children!"

"I can't?" Lala looked confused.

"That's right," Kushina smirked victoriously. "Why… I'll bet our species don't even reproduce the same way!"

"I…" Lala faltered. It was true that she was Devilukian and Naruto was human but that didn't mean she couldn't bear his children right? She had never really thought of looking into this. All she knew is that when she looked at Naruto she felt giddy and content. When she laid next to him she felt as if everything would be alright. When she had watched him defend her against her father, her heart almost burst from her chest. "I'll find a way." She whispered quietly but with such passion that Kushina couldn't help but smile softly.

"You'll find a way huh?" Kushina sighed as she returned the table to its upright position.

"That's right." Lala looked at Kushina fiercely. "I love Naruto-kun. I know that I may seem unlikely seeing as we haven't really known each other that long but I have seen the kind of person he is and I love him. I love his hair, his eyes, his smile, his reckless behaviour when it comes to defending over people. Even if I have to rewrite my genetic code in order to have his children I will."

"Tch," Kushina looked away. As a mother Lala was everything she could look for in a daughter in law. Unfortunately Kushina wasn't exactly looking to be Naruto's mother and that's where the problems start. She wondered if she had been Naruto's blood mother if things would be different. She sometimes hated herself. She knew that she shouldn't have such feelings for her son, blood related or not, but she couldn't help it. At first it was just because of how similar he looked to _him. _But that was what attracted her to Minato as well. It was unfair to see that man when she looked at Naruto. So they shared the same name but... Kushina paused and glanced at Lala. "Her surname is Deviluke..." Kushina muttered to herself. "Just like his!"

"I don't want to be your enemy," Lala continued earnestly. "But if you stand before me and my love, I will overcome you."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Kushina grinned. "Fine… I guess that means we are allies for the time being… but I will be Naru-chan's first!"

"Challenge accepted!" Lala declared happily as the two women shook hands.

* * *

As Naruto arrived home he paused outside his door to catch his breath. He had run the whole way. Checking his watch he saw that school finished over an hour ago yet there was no ominous aura coming from the house. If he took ten minutes longer than usual to get home his mother would have organised a man hunt.

"Odd…" Naruto opened the door and saw that his mother's shoes were still here. He started to worry. _'What if she had an accident whilst I was at school?'_

"Challenge accepted!" Lala declared as Naruto walked into the room.

"What's going on here?" Naruto threw his school bag to one side.

"Oh Naruto!" Lala beamed.

"How was school today?" Kushina noticed the time. "And where the hell have you been? You're an hour late!"

"I got involved in an incident," Naruto shook his head. "Nothing severe though."

"An incident huh?" Kushina's eyes narrowed. "Did this incident involve a girl?"

"Well.. I guess so," Naruto admitted earning a bestial roar of fury.

"This is your fault!" Kushina pointed at a confused looking Lala. "If you hadn't distracted me with this whole nonsense I would have sensed my Naru-chan's purity being threatened!"

"It's not like that!" Naruto waved his arms around desperately. "There were some guys who were going to use their weapons on this girl I know…"

"OH MY HEAVENS!" Kushina shrieked. "MY SON WAS AT AN ORGY!"

"LIKE HELL I WAS!" Naruto roared back as Kushina sat sobbing in front of Minato's shrine.

"MY little boy has been corrupted by the evils of the world. Oh Minato-kun what should I do? He sticks his_ weapon _in anyone but me? Am I that unattractive Minato-kun?"

"I give in," Naruto collapsed in a seat.

"So… what happened?" Lala asked, beaming as Naruto smiled at her.

"A girl I know got herself in trouble with this gang and…"

"THEY MADE YOU DO A PORNO TOGETHER IN ORDER TO FORGET THE DEBT HER FAMILY OWED THEM?" Kushina wailed. "AND YOU DIDN'T BRING ME A COPY HOME?! Oh Minato-kun, where did we go wrong?"

"Where did you go right?!" Naruto exclaimed. "I got into a fight! That's all."

"A fight?" Kushina's tears stopped instantly. "Oh… did you win?"

"I guess…" Naruto rubbed his chin. "They had a gun which they used to threaten a girl who I know so I had to just stand and take a beating or else they were going to kill her."

"**Those lowlife bastards," **The evil aura sprung around Kushina, **"I'm going to eviscerate them!" **

"Is school always this dangerous?" Lala asked.

"Only for me it would seem," Naruto shrugged as Kushina went into explicit detail on just what she was going to do to the punks who dared hurt her precious Naru-chan. It was getting pretty disturbing to Lala but Naruto was used to this and easily tuned it out. "Then again I always seem to get myself in trouble helping others… maybe I am just a closet masochist." He joked.

"I don't care what your fetishes are," Lala looked at his with eyes that warmed his soul. He felt his heart beat increasing and all of a sudden his lips felt dry. "I will help you fulfil them." Her tone was so full of love that Naruto felt his face practically burning up. The fact what she said was kind of erotic also meant what blood wasn't being pumped to his face was making its way southward. He found himself leaning towards Lala and her lips seemed to be called out to his.

"If Naru-chan wants tough love," A dominatrix clad Kushina cracked a whip, "Mommy will provide it."

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT FROM?" Naruto roared before flipping the table. "READ THE MOOD DAMN IT!"

"Hmm…" Lala looked between the two Uzumaki completely oblivious to how close she was to getting her first kiss, "Is flipping tables and exaggerated responses a family trait?"

"NO!" The two Uzumaki roared whilst flipping the table the right way up again.

* * *

Random Stats and stuff for the story. It serves little purpose but it helps summarise Naruto's abilities and relationships. The 'Aura' is basically the Chakra of this universe. Every living thing has it but certain beings have more powerful auras that actually can manifest special abilities.

**NARUTO UZUMAKI**

**Base Abilities **

Strength (Excellent) _Far stronger than anyone of his weight and size. Stronger than most humans_

Intelligence (Average) _While relatively quick thinking in battle, nothing special when it comes to studies_

Speed (Good) _He is one of the fastest in his class. _

Constitution (Excellent) _He is able to shrug off most illnesses. Has unparalleled stamina and Aura potential_

Reflexes (Good) _His reflexes are the same as most martial artists with several years of experience _

**Special Abilities**

Aura Level 0 (Passive Abilities) – No obvious signs. Always in effect

\- Faster regeneration _Naruto always heals even broken bones in a matter of days _

\- Improved Strength _While strong naturally, his aura further increases his strength _

\- Improved Constitution _Boosting his natural hardiness makes him a tank when it comes to damage taken_

\- Resistance to other Aura's effects _As demonstrated by overcoming Gid's Aura of Authority _

Aura Level 1 (Subconsciously Activated) – Whisker Marks and Blue Aura become visible

\- Improved Regeneration (Activated) _Naruto can heal broken bones in a matter of minutes at the expense of a lot of Aura energy_

\- Channel Aura to senses (Activated) _A very taxing ability but undoubtedly powerful. Grants a Bullet time style effect  
_

\- Channel Aura to improve defence and attack (Activated) _Aura protects against bullets and weapons and can propel an object with great force_

**Combat Skills **

Brawler (Intermediate)

_As a brawler, Naruto has developed a high pain tolerance as well as a certain resistance to blunt weapons such as fists or baseball bats. He is also used to using anything as a weapon and is quite creative when it comes to improvised weaponry as demonstrated by his towel whip technique against Zastin_

**Other Skills **

Technology (intermediate)

_Naruto has more than a passing interest in technology and it shows in his room. He personally built and upgraded his own computer from scratch and tends to dismantle old phones in order to get a good look at how they work. _

Gaming (Expert)

_He is very good at FPS, Fighting, RPG and Sport games. A side effect of not having many friends is that Naruto had to find his own entertainment. _

**Heroines**

Lala Deviluke (Devilukian Princess)

Met Naruto after running away from her father to avoid being forced into marriage. Naruto reminds her of someone from her past.

Loves Naruto

Naruto is starting to have feelings for Lala

Kushina Uzumaki (Naruto's Adopted Mother)

Ever since she first met Naruto he reminded her of a long lost friend who she was very fond of. She had originally been attracted to Minato due to his simularity to the aforementioned. After Minato's death she gradually began to see him as less as a boy and more as a man. As he ages he looks more and more like the long lost friend she made. Fiercely protective of Naruto, Kushina is a master of wielding her inner energy in order to boost her strength to impossible levels.

Loves Naruto but is aware that he sees her as a mother.

Naruto loves her as a mother and not as a woman.

Yui Kotegawa (The Strict Student)

Yui first met Naruto when he defended her from bullies. Unfortunately the bullies had even bigger bullies as friends and they all ganged up on Naruto and beat him whilst Yui did nothing to help leading to Yui feeling incredibly guilty. She has a crush on Naruto for saving her back then and he has saved her many times since as her attempts to impose a moral order on the town tend to result in people getting angry at her. Naruto is unaware that the girl he helped is in fact Yui and as far as he is aware the first time they met was at school when he fought some delinquents and she proceeded to lecture him on how he should behave at school.

Respects Naruto but feels she is unworthy of his friendship after she left him to be beat up as a child. She believes he could be a true gentlemen if he only followed her moral code.

Naruto sees her as a kind of friend, suspects she doesn't like him

Risa Momioka (The Flirty Student)

Risa's back story is yet to be explained.

Has a crush on Naruto due to his well-built body

Naruto sees her as something like a friend although her forward nature worries him

Nurse Mikado (The Sexy Nurse)

Mikado's back story is yet to be explained.

Is interested in Naruto's strange physical prowess for a human amongst other mysteries only she is aware of.

Naruto is absolutely terrified of Mikado's teasing.

**Others **

Rito Yuuki (The Original Protagonist)

Is worried that Haruna has feelings for Naruto. Also slightly intimidated by Naruto's physical stature.

Naruto is annoyed by him and Haruna unable to confess to each other

Haruna Sarenji (The Childhood Friend)

Is a good childhood friend of Naruto

As his first true friend, Naruto has a good relationship with Haruna although something happened in their past that makes Haruna awkward around him.

Zastin (The Knight)

Respects Naruto's strength and drive to protect those he loves.

Naruto doesn't know what to make of the strange knight. While Naruto respects his skills he can't help but wonder if the Devilukian knight was repeatedly dropped on his head as a child.

Gid Deviluke (The Emperor of the Milky Way )

Sees Naruto as a potential successor. He believes that he has the potential to surpass even him but requires some good old fashioned mortal peril to bring out his best.

Naruto believes Gid is a bad father and all round jack ass.

Kenichi Saruyama (The Perverted Monkey)

Believes the rumours that Naruto is a harem master and respects him

Naruto believes Kenichi is a harmless idiot and actually gets along reasonably well him

The Principal (The Thing)

Envious of Naruto's reputation as a Harem Master. Respects him greatly and refers to him as Uzumaki-dono

Naruto wonders how the hell this guy was made principal. Avoids him as much as possible.


	3. Chapter 3: Memories and Close Calls

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everybody! Welcome to a sparkly new chapter. In it we meet the first set of assassins after Naruto's life and also a bit of back story involving Haruna and Naruto and some general plot development. A fair few dreams and flash backs. This is a slightly more serious chapter than the others. Just so you know

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru

* * *

Chapter 3: Memories and a brush with death

There was a steady beeping noise as the life support machine kept a small blonde boy alive. Beside his bed a red haired woman with a tear streaked face sat muttering feverous prayers for the young boy's life.

The curtains separating the bed from the rest of the hospital opened and a young doctor walked through.

"I'm sorry," A doctor glanced at Kushina who was sat staring at the still form of a young Naruto. His chest wasn't moving and he was covered in bandages. "We did everything we could but the damage is too severe."

"Please," Kushina grasped Naruto's hand. It was cold. "There must be something…"

"I'm sorry," The doctor repeated before glancing at his watch. "I am afraid his birth mother has declared she has no interest in paying for his life support."

"But…" Kushina shook her head. "I'll pay! I'll find the money somehow! I lost Mito and Minato… please don't take Naruto as well!"

"I'm sorry," The doctor repeated as another red haired woman walked into the room. She was taller than Kushina and had blood red eyes as well as strange tribal markings on her face, like six thick lines that ran across her cheeks.

"Nighty night Naru-chan," The woman smirked as she turned off the life support.

"NO!" Kushina surged upright glancing around. She was in her room. The clock next to her bed showed it was 2 AM.

"Oh," Kushina took a deep breath, "It was just a dream…" She clambered out of her room, staggering towards Naruto's door and opened it. He was sleeping peacefully with Lala curled up next to him. "He's okay… it was just a dream." Kushina climbed into bed next to her adopted son and watched his smiling face until she too fell back to sleep and had much more pleasant dreams involving her and Naruto. A pink blush spread across her face and she started drooling.

Naruto opened an eye and saw she was asleep before settling down again. After all it was the same every night ever since they had moved into this house, just after the robbers had attacked. He stroked her hair as if comforting a young girl before sighing and going back to sleep.

* * *

Morning was greeted with the usual lack of enthusiasm as Naruto stretched out, glancing at his clock. The time was 6 AM. Debating whether he should go back to sleep or not, he turned to see if Lala was still asleep and to his surprise found she wasn't in his bed.

"Maybe she finally realised how wrong it was," Naruto mused before glancing at his giggling mother with a small smile. "Unlike some people."

He clambered out of his bed and got dressed rather quickly, making sure to leave his mother breakfast. He knocked on Lala's door only to get no response.

"Lala?" Naruto opened the door to find the guest room looking unlived in and empty. "Did she… leave?" Naruto paused. "Well I suppose it's for the best." Naruto smiled softly. "After all she was a princess and I'm…" Naruto caught his reflection in a mirror. "…me." He sighed, throwing his bag over his shoulder and left the house. He paused only to lock the door after him.

On his way to school he met up with Haruna as usual and the two walked in comfortable silence until Haruna decided to break it.

"Are you alright Uzumaki-san?" Haruna asked.

"Eh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well it is just you seem a little sad."

"Ah," Naruto scratched his chin. "I'm just a little thoughtful this morning. We had a guest staying at our house and she has left."

"A guest?" Haruna looked interested. "Who was she?"

"She was…" Naruto paused. "Different shall we say. I only really spent a few days with her but I enjoyed them."

"I see." Haruna looked at something in the distance. "You like her?"

"Well I guess," Naruto nodded. "I mean when I first met her I had no idea how to handle her but she kind of grew on me… like mould."

"Your romantic similes could use some work Uzumaki-san," Haruna giggled.

"Romantic?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I said I liked her not that I loved her. I've barely know anything about her. Saying I have a romantic interest in her is a little premature at this point."

"I see," Haruna nodded. "So she was a good friend to you?"

"I guess…" Naruto scowled slightly. "More like I feel we could have been good friends if given the time."

"And not anything more?" Haruna asked.

"What are you trying to get at Sarenji-san?" Naruto crossed his arms.

"I am just interested in one of my best friend's love life." Haruna smiled softly. "I think it would be good for you to have a girlfriend."

"Tried that once," Naruto said pointedly.

"Ah," Haruna fell silent. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Naruto stared up at the sky, "I shouldn't have said that… I didn't get much sleep last night and it is unfair for me to take it out on you."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna stared at the floor.

"Come on, chin up." Naruto ordered. "If anyone should feel sad about all that is should be me, right?"

"Right," Haruna glanced at her friend who was smiling kindly at her.

"Besides," Naruto smirked as he saw a familiar orange hair do in front of them. "Haruna-chan has someone she likes right?"

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna blushed at his informal use of her name, only get a playful laugh in return for her rebuke.

"Yo! Rito!" Naruto waved at the orange haired teen who turned to wave back but tripped over accidentally pulling down the skirt of a girl in front of him. "Uh oh," Naruto winced as the girl slapped Rito and ran away. "Should I feel guilty about that?" He wondered before noticing that Haruna had ran up to the boy and was looking after him. "I guess not." He muttered and continued to school, pausing only to tell Haruna and Rito to hurry up.

He walked at a brisk pace ignoring the feeling in his stomach which only intensified as he glanced at the Sakura tree that was on the school grounds. Legends said that if you confessed to the person you loved when the Sakura were blooming you were guaranteed a happy relationship with that person.

"I should sue for false advertising," Naruto remarked dryly as he continued into the school, walking through the hallways undisturbed and making it to his desk where he sat down and laid his head in his arms.

_The Sakura blossoms were falling all around him as Naruto gathered his courage. _

"_Say… Sarenji-san," Naruto fidgeted. "I really like you, you know?" _

"_And I like you, Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled. "You are one of my closest friends." _

"_But you see… I kind of like you more that as a friend." Naruto could hear his heart thundering in his chest. "I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go out on a date with me?" He looked at her hopefully. _

"_I'm sorry…" Haruna shook her head. "I… I'd rather us stay as friends." _

"_Ahaha," Naruto laughed. "No worries. Yeah I get it." He turned away so she couldn't see his face. "Oh well nothing ventured nothing gained. Is there… someone else?" _

_Haruna's blush was a dead giveaway. _

"_Man, what a lucky guy." Naruto stared at the sky. "Well… I guess I should cheer you on right? After all… that's what friends are for." _

"_Thank you, Uzumaki-san." Haruna smiled softly. "I can understand though if you don't want to be my friend anymore."_

"_I was about to say the same to you," Naruto remarked. "I mean I don't exactly have many friends but I guess I kind of killed this friendship huh?" _

"_No!" Haruna shook her head, "I mean I know it might be awkward but you are one of my closest friends I don't want to lose you as a friend." _

"_Let's put all this behind us then." Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Let's pretend I never asked." _

"_Are you sure?" Haruna asked. _

"_Yeah." Naruto smirked, "After all second place is better than not finishing. I'd rather be a good friend than have nothing to do with you." _

"_Thank you, Naruto-kun." Haruna smiled. _

"That was the only time she ever referred to me so informally." Naruto muttered into his arms as the class gathered. He could feel Haruna glancing at him every so often. _'Second place is better than not finishing huh? Man I am a terrible liar. Oh well best smile for the audience.' _Naruto sat up and wore his usual confident smirk as he stared at the teacher who was talking about something about a new student.

Haruna frowned slightly but made no comment. She and Naruto had been friends for years and she could tell when he was faking a smile just to try and appease her. She felt stupid for probing into his love life considering she was the only girl he had ever asked out and she had flat out rejected him. It wasn't that she didn't find him attractive because she did. He was kind and helpful and usually that would be everything she could want in a boyfriend. However she couldn't accept Naruto's confession. It hurt her that she couldn't tell him why. Besides she liked Yuuki-kun and she couldn't have both. That would be unfair on Naruto and Rito.

"And today we have an exchange student joining us." The teacher called out.

"Maybe it's a hot girl," Kenichi Saruyama rubbed his hands together. "Another for your harem master?"

"What harem?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I don't even have a single girlfriend, never mind a harem!"

"Wow she is beautiful," Kenichi was distracted as a familiar pink haired alien entered the room.

"Ah… crap." Naruto suddenly wished he wasn't here. _'Please don't make a scene!' _He mentally prayed. Fun fact. The gods of this universe _love_ screwing Naruto over.

"Hi I'm Lala Deviluke!" The princess waved happily.

"You are cute," One of the boys in the class cried out in joy. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Lala looked thoughtful (which actually caused some of the class to pass out from severe cute overdose) "I suppose I don't."

Naruto let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. _'Thank you Gods! If she started spouting that fiancé nonsense I don't know what would happen.' _

"I have a fiancé though," Lala beamed.

'_Son of a bitch! Please don't let her say it's me!' _Naruto wailed internally whilst remaining calm and collected on the outside.

"Say it isn't so!" Kenichi cried. "Master, she has already been claimed!"

"Master?" Lala's eyes fixed on Naruto and widened. She beamed at him. "Ah! Naruto! We are in the same class!"

"You know the Manliest Sage?" Kenichi paused. "And yet you have a fiancé?!"

"Manliest Sage?" Naruto deadpanned. "Is that how you see me?"

"What a cool title!" Lala beamed.

"Gah," Naruto blushed and looked away.

"You see," Lala smiled bashfully. "I was in trouble as my father sent people to capture me and force me to marry someone I didn't love."

"That monster!" Kenichi cried. "Did the Mighty Man Sage defeat him?"

"Am I some sort of action hero now?" Naruto sighed heavily.

"Naruto-kun defeated his most elite henchman and told papa to leave me alone or Naruto would make him pay! And Papa agreed!"

There was a cheer from the class.

"As expected of the Manliest Action Sage!" Kenichi nodded.

"Pick a title and stick with it!" Naruto sighed.

"I wish I could see you fight that guy," Risa pouted. "I can see it now. You topless, sweat dripping off your brow as you stand victorious… oh come to me my blonde Adonis!" Risa dived at Naruto who held her at arm's length as she flailed her arms ineffectually.

"Down Risa!" Naruto chopped her on the head softly with his spare hand causing the girl to fall to her knees.

"If you like it rough," Risa adjusted her shirt to reveal some cleavage. "I'm willing to play _master._" She purred.

"Risa-san!" Haruna blushed crimson while Naruto looked away uneasily. Rito was trying to stop a nose bleed along with the majority of the class.

"Back to the story please," Kenichi cleared his throat.

"Why are you so interested?" Naruto wondered as Lala continued her story.

"Afterwards I was so grateful to Naruto-kun that I… I decided I would marry him!"

"Wait a second…" Kenichi staggered backwards. "Then your fiancé is…" He looked at Naruto. "Say it isn't so master! Please tell me you haven't decided to give up your harem and become a one woman man?!"

"Okay, first things first." Naruto stood up with the class staring at him. "We are not actually engaged."

"Yet," Lala cut in.

"Second thing," Naruto ignored Lala's interruption. "I do not have a harem. I wouldn't even know what to do if I did have one!"

"I could offer suggestions," Risa smirked.

"Bad girl," Naruto pointed at Risa.

"I've been so _very _naughty," Risa leaned towards Naruto, "Are you going to punish me?"

"I give up," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "So does that clear everything up?"

"So what you are saying is that Lala is madly in love with you but you are just playing with her heart?" A female student asked coldly.

"What? No!" Naruto shook his head. "I already told her that I don't think that marriage is a good idea!"

"Why don't you want to marry her?" Another girl asked. "Don't you find her attractive?"

"Well she is attractive but…" Naruto started.

"So there is someone else?" Another class mate called out.

"Well no but…" Naruto turned to face the speaker.

"Hang on, doesn't Uzumaki-san hang around a lot with Sarenji-san?" A male classmate called out.

"Hey, leave Sarenji-san out of this," Naruto scowled. "Stop saying things that could lead to false rumours being started!"

"Awfully defensive of her aren't you?" Another male mocked him.

"Seriously…" Naruto cracked his knuckles. "You are starting to piss me off."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna shook her head, "Please don't start a fight."

"Tch," Naruto took a deep breath and released it. "Fine… No there isn't anyone else."

"It doesn't matter if there is," Lala declared. "I love Naruto-kun and even if I have to share him I don't care so long as I am with him."

There was a deathly silence as the class turned to face Naruto. The girls (with the exception of Risa who looked stunned and Haruna who was looking worried) squealed at this declaration of love. The men were all whispering that he was a lucky bastard who didn't deserve such good fortune.

"I was wrong…" Kenichi whispered. "As expected of the Ultimate Manly Sage… His wife is his Harem Queen to aid him in his manly quests rather than to force him into monogamy! Forgive me for doubting you oh Manliest of Action Sages!"

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna turned to her friend who had his head in his arms again.

"It is far too early for me to deal with this." He sighed and banged his head on his desk.

"There, there." Haruna rubbed the back of his head whilst the classroom erupted into chaos.

* * *

Naruto just left Lala to the girls. With any luck she might make some friends who could teach her how people acted in Japan. Naruto had more pressing issues. He pulled out his phone and tried not to be depressed about the few contacts he had: His mother, Sarenji, His House, Sarenji's house, the local takeaway and finally the school's number. Selecting his mother he pressed dial and waited patiently.

"Hello Naru-chan!" His mother's cheerful voice sounded through the phone.

"Hey," Naruto sighed, "Did you sign Lala's permission form to join this school?"

"Yeah," Kushina chuckled, "She really wanted to go. How'd she take it?"

"She has been in my class less than half a day and already my normal school life is in danger of collapsing."

"Wait! She got in? How'd she pass the interview?!"

"You have met our principal right? That perverted creature? He probably passed her the moment her saw her!"

"Oh…" Kushina's voice sounded annoyed, "I forgot about that. I was hoping she would have been turned down."

"Why?"

"Because she would have taken it as a sign that you and she weren't destined to be!" Kushina declared. "Why would I help her try and steal you away from me?"

"I won't pretend to understand how you think," Naruto sighed heavily.

"Well there is only one thing for it," Kushina chuckled evilly.

"I have a feeling if you assassinate Lala her father will destroy this planet," Naruto remarked.

"Who said I was planning to kill her? If she can get into that school… then so can I!"

"Mom… don't." Naruto scowled. "My student life is already been heavily damaged. If you come and start acting all lovey dovey then there will be no chance of me having a normal life at all! I only hope this all blows over quickly."

"I would think your normal school life was doomed from the start seeing as you act and look like a delinquent." Kushina stated bluntly before chuckling sinisterly, "Well I can always home school you," Kushina giggled perversely. "I can already see our first lesson."

"I am hanging up now." Naruto deadpanned.

"Anatomy 101: How babies are made," Kushina started breathing heavily, "And I am _very_ fond of practical sessions."

Naruto hung up and put his phone away before walking onto the school football field.

"Strange," He thought looking around. "This area is usually packed at this time. Where is everybody?"

"Target Acquired." A robotic voice called out.

"Who's there?" Naruto span around trying to discover the source of the noise. "What the hell?"

A laser blast seemed to appear from nowhere and narrowly missed Naruto.

"Show yourself damn it!" Naruto dodged the blasts that seemed to come from every direction.

"Sorry but that's against my style!" A male voice declared boisterously.

"Who are you?!" Naruto growled.

"I am the Galactic Puppeteer!" The voice declared, "Kankuro the almighty!"

There was a snort of laughter that didn't come from Naruto.

"What?" The male voice growled.

"Oh don't mind me," A female voice mocked, "_Almighty_ brother."

"Temari I swear I will kick your ass!"

"You and what army?"

"Er…" Naruto cleared his throat. "I'd hate to interrupt but can I ask what the hell is going on here?"

"Oh right," Kankuro cleared his throat, "I am a prince of the Sand planet known as Suna! I am here to kill you and take Lala Deviluke's hand in marriage."

"Because this is the only way a girl would even look at him." Temari added.

"Sister!"

"What? You know it's true. Maybe if you didn't play with dolls and wear make-up…"

"They are not dolls they are combat puppets! And it is war paint, WAR PAINT DAMN IT!"

Naruto scowled as he focused his senses. On the edge of his hearing was some sort of whirring noise. Picking up a stone Naruto hurled it as hard as he could. The stone struck something with a metallic clang before bouncing off.

"Hey watch it jack ass!" Kankuro yelled. "You scratch the paintwork!"

"Oh I'm sorry." Naruto shot back voice dripping with sarcasm, "I hope I didn't damage your invisible killer robot army."

Naruto leapt backwards as the salvo of laser blasts started all over again. While Naruto's reflexes allowed him to dodge the worst of the attacks, his clothes were getting singed from far too many close calls and he was starting to tire. The voices of the two siblings seemed to be coming from speakers on each of the drones so there was no telling where they actually were.

"Hey, this guy can move," Temari noted. "How long do you think he will last?"

"Not much longer," Kankuro proudly declared. "No one can survive my Puppet Onslaught!"

Naruto panted heavily as he dodged another barrage before losing his footing and falling over.

"And now the finishing blow!" Kankuro cackled.

Suddenly a heavy downpour of rain started. Naruto scowled at the weather. The muddy field would greatly limit his ability to dodge although as he struggled to his feet he could now see the robots that had been attacking him. The rain appeared to short out the optical camouflage they had been using. They were small spherical drones like giant floating eyeballs with a red iris. Two small cannons seemed to be mounted on either side of the eyeball which Naruto assumed had been responsible for the laser attacks.

"What is this? Magic?!" Kankuro panicked as the rain water caused his puppets to explode.

"Amazing…" Temari whispered. "He has power over water! He can make it fall from the sky! He can summon the great cleansing fall!"

"Er… sure let's go with that," Naruto panted.

"Tch…" Kankuro growled. "My precious puppets!"

"Leave them!" Temari ordered. "This changes everything! We must report to her!"

"But…"

"If he can control water he can save our planet!"

"Fine!" Kankuro remarked as the two left.

"Well… I guess I technically won that fight," Naruto walked over to the sparking piles of alien technology with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "This is pretty amazing stuff. There is no sign of any propulsion unit and these weapons are quite high tech. Admittedly it appears that they aren't waterproof if rain is enough to finish them off… maybe Lala can explain what the hell just happened." Naruto scavenged a few of the drones (Which were surprisingly light) and made his way back to the class.

A small group of five thugs stood and watched him leave. They had watched the entire fight hidden from view and were currently milling around trying to decide whether they should try and attack him now he seemed tired. Each one was hoping one of the others could come up with a good reason not to attack.

"Bro… did you see that?" One of the track suited hooligans turned to his fellow Panthers. "There were like lasers and stuff!"

"Yeah," The leader was called Sharp Foot Soma and had already received a beating from Naruto and wasn't too eager to repeat the beating but as one of the highest ranking delinquents he had no choice. If he backed down he would lose his position.

"Should we still go after him?"

"We have no choice! He slighted the Panthers!" The leader charged after Naruto who had his back to them but as soon as they ran past the remaining broken drones, they exploded sending the panthers soaring into the air leaving Naruto completely oblivious to the wannabe gangsters' presence.

"Damn you Uzumaki!" Soma cried as he soared through the air. He would eventually crash through a window and land a female only bath… when it was the local Anti-Pervert Mixed Martial Arts group bathing day. Being blown up was going to be the _least _painful thing to happen to Soma and his cronies today.

* * *

"Damn, missed dinner." Naruto groaned as he walked up to the classroom. He was soaked from the rain and had hidden the drone parts in his locker until he could get Lala to have a look at them. It seemed as if the ones he left behind had exploded due to the severe soaking they had received so Naruto made sure that the parts were wrapped up in towels.

"And I just know Yui will make what happened to the field my fault," Naruto remarked tiredly.

As he entered his classroom everyone glanced at him but that was about it. Naruto coming in absolutely soaked and looking worse for wear was barely worth a second glance. They just assumed he had been fighting delinquents again.

"Ah Uzumaki-san." Haruna smiled at Naruto who sat at his desk next to hers. "Lala explained how she is from a different country and you are looking after to her."

"Huh?" Naruto turned to her. "Oh yeah I guess that is true."

"She explained to everyone that you were teaching her the local customs and that she still has much to learn so you thought that she should visit school to learn more." Haruna continued. "She seems quite a nice girl."

"Yeah… she has her moments," Naruto agreed.

"She is a very honest girl," Haruna looked sad, "I wish I could be as open as her."

"Man," Naruto sighed. "Lala is Lala and Haruna is Haruna, if you were Lala then you wouldn't be Haruna. Your shy nature is one of your cute aspects."

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna blushed.

"I'm sure Rito agrees with me," Naruto turned to face the orange haired youth who was sat at his desk behind Naruto's.

"AH… I mean… Sarenji-san is cute… I mean her shyness is cute…" Rito blushed and started twiddling his fingers.

"Hey do I have any cute aspects?" Risa asked as she the conversation.

"Er…" Naruto scratched his chin, "I suppose you are quite energetic. That's kind of cute… if you like that sort of thing I suppose."

"Ah," Risa smiled, "Do you like that kind of girl?"

"Er…" Naruto glanced around at the others for a clue on what to say. Unfortunately his only ally was Kenichi who was giving him a thumbs up. "I suppose I don't _dislike_ girls like that."

Risa's response was cut off by a cheerful Lala as she walked into the room and made a beeline straight for Naruto.

"Ah Naruto-kun!" Lala beamed as she ran over to the blonde and hugged his arm before crying out in alarm, "You are soaking wet! And you smell like you've been near a fire."

"I got caught in that downpour and took shelter in the incinerator room," Naruto cleared his throat, "Say I need to show you something, will you come with me after the class?" Naruto asked not noticing Haruna's shocked look and the squeals of the female students who had followed Lala to 'cheer her on' in winning Naruto's heart.

"Of course," Lala beamed, "Oh before I forget… here!" She handed him some curry bread. "Haruna-chan said it was your favourite so I figured I'd get one for you and one for me to try!"

"Thanks," Naruto smiled warmly, "Where did you get the money though?"

"The kind lady at the store gave me them for free," Lala beamed.

"Well… that is good," Naruto smiled as he bit into his bread. "Thanks Lala."

"Just seeing you smile is all the thanks I need," Lala admitted.

"Gah," Naruto looked away fighting down a blush, "How can you say something like that with a straight face."

"Because it is my honest feelings," Lala smiled softly. "If I can't be honest to the one I love who can I be honest with?"

"It's not that easy though," Haruna interrupted. "Sometimes when it comes to the people you love it is hardest to tell them how you feel."

"I've never had that problem. I mean even if you are turned down, isn't it better to know rather than carry on secretly pining over somebody?" Lala asked. "If it's meant to be then you have nothing to worry about!"

"I turned you down repeatedly but it hasn't changed your attempts." Naruto remarked dryly.

"Well if you really love someone you just have to keep trying!" Lala looked fired up. "If you give in then what does that say about the strength of your feelings?" She noticed how Haruna glanced at Naruto who looked uncomfortable at that question. Unfortunately Rito also noticed the glance and looked concerned.

'_Did Haruna-chan confess to Naruto?" _Lala and Rito shared the same thought.

"Anyway," Naruto cleared his throat, "I'll see you after class then Lala."

"Hai!" Lala saluted him before pausing to look towards a sudden disturbance as Yui practically wrenched the classroom door off of its hinges locked on to Naruto with a fierce glare.

"Uh oh," Naruto remarked.

"UZUMAKI-SAN!" Yui Kotegawa stormed towards him.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Naruto yelled before fleeing from the furious girl… out of the window.

"IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!" She yelled out of the window before racing out of the classroom and down the stairs in pursuit.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE CHASING ME!"

"What… just happened?" Lala blinked.

"Ah… that is the Manliest Sage's current conquest," Kenichi nodded wisely. "Yui Kotegawa, she is always finding some reason to try and get some time alone with him."

"I see…" Lala frowned slightly.

"THERE IS NO SMOKING ON THE SCHOOL GROUNDS!" Yui's voice could be heard clearly despite the fact both her and her target were several floors below.

"I DON'T SMOKE!"

"I CAN SMELL THE SMOKE ON YOU AND THERE ARE BURN MARKS ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD!"

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SMELL ME FROM ALL THE WAY BACK THERE?! AND I… I CAN EXPLAIN THAT!"

"HOW?"

"I GOT ATTACKED BY AN ARMY OF LASER FIRING ROBOTS!"

"TELLING SUCH OBVIOUS LIES! YOU ARE SEVERLY LACKING IN MORALS!"

"They are really loud," Rito remarked with a chuckle as the teacher entered the classroom.

"Uzumaki-san is always quite lively," Haruna smiled softly. "It is one of his good points."

Rito scowled as he heard Haruna's words and was struck with an epiphany.

'_If I am to win Haruna-chan's affections I must be more like Naruto!' _Rito clenched a fist and made a vow to himself. He would become a man worthy of Haruna-chan! But first he would need some advice from Naruto.

* * *

Kushina yawned as she sat at the dinner table with a cup of tea. She was going through an old family album of the trips she and Naruto had been on since his father's accident. It was strange, Kushina mused to herself, when she had first met Minato she was sure that he was the one. Yet now she could barely even remember what his favourite colour was or even what his voice sounded like. Come to think of it there were quite a few gaps in her memory regarding Minato. Shaking her head she drained her cup of tea and turned over the page in her album.

She smiled as she saw a picture of their old house where they lived with Minato. It was out in the suburbs and was quite a large house, but after the robbery there was no way Kushina could sleep in that place so they left when Naruto was out of the hospital. Going through the pictures again she found one showed the young Naruto playing in their old backyard. He must have been around six years old.

"But we left that house after the attack when Naruto was five…." Kushina scowled and grabbed some other photo albums. There was Naruto's six birthday which was at the old house. "That can't be right…" Kushina scowled as she started to look through the albums and saw that one of the pictures had all Naruto, Minato and Kushina at Naruto's sixth birthday party.

"But…" Kushina felt a deep pain in her skull. "Minato couldn't have been there!" Furiously she charged towards the attic and went through the boxes where she stored all the old family heirlooms and mementoes. One was a framed picture of her, Naruto and Minato. But what worried her the most was the fact she looked pregnant in that picture. "What is going on?"

Suddenly the pain in her head became unbearable and she passed out.

_There was so much blood. She looked around desperate to find Minato or Naruto. She was clambered over the broken timbers that were once her home searching amongst the ruins for any sign of her two special men._

"_Where are you?" She called out. "Naruto! Minato!" She placed a head on her swollen stomach. _

"_I'm afraid they are beyond your reach." A woman with fierce red hair and a strange devil like tail grinned at her as she stepped out of the destroyed ruins of Kushina's old home. She wore a black outfit with futuristic armour plating and black gauntlets that had blood dripping from them. "They are in a… what is it you humans say… a 'better place?' Unfortunately whores like you go straight to hell. When you get there… tell them Kurama sent you!" She charged at Kushina and was about to strike her when… _

"Gah!" Kushina snapped awake. "What… what was I doing?" Kushina glanced at the photo album before her. "Must have drifted off." She glanced at the photo album "Ah must have seen a cute picture of Naru-chan and got lost in my imagination." Kushina sighed contently before closing the album and walking away. If she had paid close attention she might have noticed a tiny rip along the album's bindings suggesting that some pages had been torn from the book.

* * *

Naruto and Lala wandered over to his locker discussing the current situation as they walked. As Naruto and Lala had to clean the classroom, everyone else had long since left.

"Hmm…" Lala scowled. "I was hoping that when I announced you as my fiancé the other suitors would stop. It appears Papa told them if they could kill you then they become the official suitor." She pouted angrily. "I should have known Papa wouldn't just sit back and let me be happy."

"So I should expect more of these aliens?" Naruto crossed his arms. "But how can I fight them? They are using advanced technology and I doubt they'd be nice enough to let me punch them. Hell even if I could hit them remember when I punched your body guards? I barely bruised their skin and nearly broke my own wrist!"

"But what about that blue glowing thing you did against Zastin?"

"Blue glowing thing?" Naruto blinked. "I remember feeling a surge of energy but I don't remember glowing."

"It was cool!" Lala's eyes had stars in them as she threw punches and made whooshing sound effects. "You were like Whoosh! And then Zastin flew backwards!"

"Then I passed out," Naruto sighed. "That still counts as my victory right? He passed out first. My undefeated run continues?"

"Er…" Lala decided not to tell him Zastin had been injured but still able to fight until a berserk Kushina wielding the two other body guards as improvised clubs had proceeded to deliver a smack down of such epic proportions that he now had Vietnam style flashbacks whenever he saw someone wearing a suit. "Sure."

"Good," Naruto let out a sigh of relief. "But you said I was glowing blue at the time?"

"That's right." Lala nodded.

"Hmm…" Naruto stroked his chin. "There was also the fight with those panthers when one pulled out a gun when I felt lighter and was able to catch a bullet in my hand… maybe that was the same strange power…"

"Maybe it only happens when you are in danger!" Lala clapped her hands.

"Possibly… although it didn't trigger when this puppeteer assassin used some sort of laser drone army to try and kill me. Maybe I need to be badly wounded. We should test this out!"

"Puppeteer?" Lala sighed, "Sounds like he was from the planet Suna. They call their robot commanders puppeteers. There planet only has a few oasis and as such can grow little food. Once every hundred years they have a massive storm that creates new oases that allows them to live but from what I heard they haven't had the storm and it is fifty years overdue. They are in dire straits. Papa is said to be able to cause a storm just by being in a bad mood but he doesn't like the Sunese (that is to say the race that inhabits Suna) as they supported his rival when he fought to be the ruler of the galaxy."

"So he would let them die?" Naruto scowled.

"He probably doesn't even know they are in desperate trouble," Lala admitted. "He does rule the entire galaxy. He has many threats that he has to deal with and those of Suna are a proud race and won't ask for help. They could leave their home planet but they very rarely take to space. They believe that they were born to stay on the planet and so they shall. News from there is very sporadic and I only know because I use Suna techniques on some of my inventions. They are talented robot makers."

"I see," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Couldn't you invent a storm machine or something for them?"

"Many have tried but the machines just don't work on Suna. There are those who believe it is an ancient curse due to the new leader of the wandering tribes being a woman." Lala scowled.

"You said you studied their techniques?" Naruto turned to the pink haired alien.

"Hai," Lala beamed. "They have really interesting ideas when it comes to control circuits. They embed transmitters in their fingers so it is like they are controlling puppets when they order their robots to attack!"

"Could you think of a way to counter them?"

"Use water?" Lala suggested. "Seeing as it very rarely rains on their planet (once every hundred years if you were listening) most of their robots aren't water proof."

"I noticed, when it rained the rain wiped out his entire drone force." Naruto shook his head. "I doubt that will work twice."

"Er… get really strong?" Lala offered.

"So we are back to the glowing blue thing huh?" Naruto opened his locker revealing the broken drones.

"Ooh." Lala's eyes seem to sparkle. "This aren't cheap models. I'm guessing that whoever sent them after you was quiet high in the Suna hierarchy."

"He did say he was a prince," Naruto nodded.

"I see," Lala looked thoughtful. "That would probably be Kankuro then. I met him once. I thought he was an ugly girl because he wore so much makeup."

"Yeah, I think he called Kankuro and his sister mentioned something about make-up." Naruto nodded. "So are there many people like him who will be out to kill me then?"

"Probably," Lala admitted, "I am the heir to the Empire that rules over most of the galaxy."

"Must have been tough," Naruto remarked.

"Yes," Lala looked sad, "I was always being rushed from planet to planet in order to meet marriage candidates. All of them only want the power and prestige of marrying me."

"If you marry someone it should be for love and love alone," Naruto shook his head.

"Right," Lala smiled warmly at him. "That's one of the things I love most about you."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"You always know just what to say."

"Was there really no candidates that you actually liked?" Naruto asked.

"Why?"

"I was just wondering. If there was someone and the only reason you couldn't be with him is because he wasn't approved by your father," Naruto turned to Lala, "I would fight him for your right to marry the man you want."

"Don't be silly," Lala shook her head. "I've told you Papa has given me permission to marry the man I love, to marry you."

"But as your husband it would be my duty to protect you," Naruto countered. "I can't even protect myself from the dangers of the galaxy. What odds do I have of protecting you?"

"Don't worry about that! I have the perfect training arena for you!" Lala clapped her hands together. "But I have a question to ask if you don't mind."

"Sure," Naruto shrugged.

"Is there a history between you and Haruna-chan?" Lala asked.

"You could say that," Naruto sighed and stared out of the school's entrance at the furious downpour. "She is one of my closest friends. We have almost always been in the same class together."

"I see," Lala followed his gaze.

"It was on a day like this we first met," Naruto reminisced. "We were both running home in the rain and bumped into each other. She twisted her ankle and I carried her back to her house, making sure that the umbrella I had was covering her. As a result I got a cold but we became friends. Originally she was too shy to really speak to me, but I thought it was because I look like a delinquent. When I told her that she looked shocked. She told me she couldn't understand how anyone thought I was a delinquent when I had such a kind nature. I… I guess I slowly start to fall in love with her over the years. I confessed to her last year but she turned me down. She likes… someone else." Naruto finished lamely.

"And you gave up?" Lala asked.

"I didn't want to risk our friendship by pursuing her romantically. Especially when I knew she liked someone else. So long as she is happy then I will be too." Naruto finished wistfully.

"Naruto-kun," Lala leaned forwards. "If you can't convince yourself of that how can you convince me?"

"If I keep saying it enough maybe I'll start to believe it. If she gets the guy she wants… then maybe I'll finally accept that it isn't going to happen." Naruto closed his eyes.

"Do you think I should do the same then?" Lala asked softly.

"Huh?"

"Do you think I should give up trying to win your heart?" Lala looked at the floor. "That I should help you get together with Haruna-chan so you can be happy."

"That depends, would my answer actually stop you from trying to make me fall in love with you?"

"Of course not!"

"Heh," Naruto smiled warmly, "I figured you'd say that. In that case what does it matter what I think? Didn't you declare you were going to change my mind? To make me fall in love with you?"

"Yes!" Lala smiled back.

"Who knows?" Naruto pulled out an umbrella. "They say that the Sakura confession tree will ensure you will have a happy relationship with the person you love if you confess under it when it is blooming. Maybe it didn't work with me and Haruna because I didn't actually love her. Maybe it's just because she was the closest female friend I had that I thought I loved her."

"Does it hurt when you think of her not loving you back?"

"How'd we get to this from people trying to kill me?" Naruto deflected the question and raised his umbrella. "Do you not have an umbrella?"

"Ahahah," Lala laughed weakly. "I guess I forgot it."

"Fine," Naruto smiled softly. "Just this once you can share mine."

"Okay!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm and snuggled closer to him under the umbrella.

"Hey! I didn't say you could get so close." Naruto grumbled as the two made their way home.


	4. Chapter 4: Training

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Double Chapter! This is a lighter hearted chapter… kind of. This chapter goes into Risa's backstory a little and Naruto meets Mikan. I've changed the Poll on my profile to see just what characters people want to see in the harem in this story. I've pretty much put every girl with a considerable part in the show on the list to see what people want. I haven't added the Naruto characters who will be appearing (although two have been shown and it doesn't take a genius to work out who the third one is especially when I say many Naruto characters will be genderbending as it were but not neccesary being part of the harem. If anything it would be more like the Naruto movies where for example Shion basically asks Naruto to father her children but is never heard of again except they will show up every now and again but won't really be focused on). There are a few characters who will recieve story time irregardless of the poll results (Lala is kind of relevant to the plot, at least until either Momo or Nana shows up I guess and seeing as Naruto lives with her she's bound to show up regularly. Same with Kushina.)

EDIT: Seeing as a reviewer seemed particularly annoyed about the story summaries I have removed them.

At the moment there is no set limit to the number of girls who will be interested in Naruto but obviously I will be focusing on those most important to the plot but I am curious as to which characters people actually like.

Disclaimer: See previous chapters

* * *

Chapter 4: Training

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the orange haired youth stood before him. He was stood in the classroom which had gone terribly quiet all of a sudden. No sooner had he come in from dinner than Rito had walked up to him and asked him to meet him on the roof after school.

"May I ask why?" Naruto finally decided to respond.

"This is something I need to do as a man." Rito answered.

"I see…" Naruto closed his eyes. '_He probably thinks I am too close to Haruna and I am an obstacle he must overcome. Although to challenge me to a fight is a little extreme. He must know he can't beat me.' _"If you are sure then I guess it would be an insult not to show up."

"Right," Rito let out a sigh. _'I wasn't expecting him to agree to meet up.' _

The other classmates glanced at each other and started muttering as the two males returned to their seats.

"You think Yuuki-kun is going to fight for Haruna-chan?" One female student whispered.

"Yuuki fight against Uzumaki?" A male student answered, "That'd be a slaughter."

"What if Yuuki is a secret martial artist?" Another male cut in, "That'd explain why he thinks he has a chance at winning."

"What if it isn't about winning?" The girl wondered, "What if he wants to show Haruna-chan that Uzumaki-san is just a violent thug?"

Before the conversation could continue the teacher entered the room and looked around.

"Where are Sarenji-san and Deviluke-san?" He asked.

"Here sensei!" Lala cried as she burst into the room, Haruna closely following her. "Haruna-chan was just showing me around the school!"

"I see," The teacher waited for them to get seated before he began his droning lecture on history which Naruto tuned out with expert ease. He was currently trying to figure out what was the best way to deal with Yuuki. If the boy felt he had to prove he was a man to earn Haruna's love he was going the wrong way about it. If anything Haruna would probably dislike the fact Rito had picked a fight with him for no reason. '_Or would she blame me for accepting the fight and take Yuuki's side? But if that's the case wouldn't that make things easier for me…' _Naruto shook his head.

Lala was sat taking notes and occasionally stealing glances at Naruto. Despite her best attempts she was unable to get a seat next to Naruto and was in fact at the back of the class next to Kenichi, Naruto's self-declared apprentice in the Manly Sage arts. Lala didn't quite understand what that meant but the boy seemed a good sort, if a little perverted. He was also more than willing to help out Lala as she was 'his master's waifu'. Currently though Lala was trying to work out a plan of attack. It was clear that Haruna was a road block in her plans. Naruto seemed reluctant to return her feelings because of a lingering attachment to Haruna, which was unrequited if you asked Naruto but Lala wasn't so sure. She was also sure that rejecting the confession should have made their friendship awkward but it seemed to have very little effect. Lala pouted cutely as she drew a diagram in her work book. At the centre was a bubble with a chibi Naruto in it. She drew a chibi version of herself and a single headed arrow pointing at the chibi Naruto from her. Then she drew a chibi Yui and a single headed arrow pointing at Naruto with a question mark over it. She also drew a chibi Risa with another single headed arrow pointing at Naruto with a question mark. Finally she drew a chibi Kushina with the same arrow but no question mark. There was no doubt in Lala's mind that the love Kushina had for Naruto was not motherly (Not that Kushina tried to hide that).

Satisfied with her diagram so far, Lala added a Haruna drawing and a double headed arrow between Naruto and Haruna with a question mark over the top of it. From what Naruto had told her Haruna and Rito liked each other but were finding it hard to confess to one another. She drew a double headed arrow between Haruna and the newly drawn Rito chibi.

"How to solve this problem," Lala chewed the end of the pencil she was holding. "I wish Momo were here. She is far better than I am at dealing with these sorts of problems." Her younger sister was strangely gifted when it came to achieving harem ends on dating Sims, an ability Lala never really cared for but all of a sudden it seemed like it could be a very useful power to have.

While Lala was debating how to get Naruto to love her, Risa was having her own internal debate. She was no fool and could tell there was something a little odd with Lala and it was nagging her. Her story made sense (she knew for a fact Naruto would have reacted how Lala said) but there was something about the girl that just unnerved Risa. She shook her head and decided to partake in her favourite hobby of Naruto watching. Currently he was staring into space with those passionate blue eyes. Oh how Risa wished she knew what he was thinking. She had originally met Naruto through Haruna and they had got along famously. She must have been about eight years old when she was playing at Haruna's house and Naruto had visited. They had played hide and seek until it got dark and Naruto had gone home. Haruna had told her stories about Naruto and the more she heard the more she liked the blonde haired boy.

It wasn't just Haruna who had tales of the blonde's bravery. There probably wasn't a soul in the school who hadn't seen Naruto doing something heroic (although most of the students would say he was just fighting because he's a delinquent and that's what they do). She had once asked him why he fought so much and if he cared that people thought he was a delinquent for getting into fights all the time.

"_People thought I was a delinquent anyway," A twelve year old Naruto remarked as stepped over the bodies of some bullies he had beaten up. "I'm doing it because I know its right. Someone has to protect those who can't protect themselves and that someone is me." _

"_But… why does it have to be you?" Risa asked._

"_It doesn't," Naruto admitted, "But if it wasn't me then it would be someone else getting into fights. I've spent my entire life being ostracised because people thought I looked like a delinquent. Nothing's changed but at least I know that I am helping people so I don't really care what other people think. So long as I can go to sleep at night happy with how I live my life, that's enough for me." _

"_Even though others disagree with your behaviour?" Risa asked. _

"_Bah," Naruto snorted, "So long as my precious people are on my side, that's all I need." _

"_Precious people?" Risa blinked. _

"_You know like your friends, family etc." Naruto rubbed his nose. _

"_I see…" Risa smiled at Naruto, "Say… are we friends?" _

"_I'm surprised you had to ask," Naruto looked hurt._

"_Hehe," Risa giggled at his pout. "Right, we're friends!" _

"_You bet we are!" Naruto grinned and gave her a thumbs up gesture. _

"_Man a thumbs up… how lame." Risa stuck her tongue out at Naruto._

"_Hey! Don't diss the classics!" Naruto laughed. "I'll tell Sarenji-san you are picking on me!" _

"_Not if I tell her you were picking on me first!" Risa joined in the laugh as the two ran towards Haruna's house. _

Risa smiled to herself. She had many of these precious little moments with just her and Naruto. Originally her parents forced her to wear dresses and be sensible but she wasn't happy about it. Naruto picked up on this and actually lectured her parents on how it was a parent's sacred duty to ensure the happiness of their children and that forcing Risa to be someone she wasn't was only hurting them all. This was the first moment when her friendship with him started to evolve into something more. Over the next few weeks, it was the boundless support he offered her that made her fall in love with him. At one point she and Haruna had actually argued over Naruto, she felt Haruna was leading him on whereas Haruna felt Risa was monopolising the time spent playing with him. It had nearly ruined their friendship and the only thing they had agreed on was that Naruto could never find out about their argument. If he knew that he almost caused them to stop being friends he would distance himself from the two in order to prevent ever coming between them again.

Risa turned her attention to Haruna who was listening to the lecture intently. Risa had always forgiven Haruna for their arguments but there was one moment where even to this day Risa could not forgive her friend. The worst part was neither Naruto nor Haruna knew it. After all they didn't know that Risa had witnessed the confession.

_Risa scowled as she finished cleaning the classroom and made her way out of the school. She saw Naruto and Haruna at the tree and smirked, planning to sneak up on them and surprise them. She hid next to the pair, just out of sight. _

"_And I like you, Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled. "You are one of my closest friends." _

"_But you see… I kind of like you more that as a friend." Naruto's voice seemed to be breaking as he spoke. "I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go out on a date with me?" He looked at her hopefully. _

_Risa felt her heart drop. She wanted to run away and just cry. It should be her that Naruto confessed to. What did Haruna have that she didn't?_

"_I'm sorry," Haruna shook her head. "I… I'd rather us stay as friends." _

_Risa almost cheered until Naruto looked away from Haruna and in her general direction. She saw him fight back tears before wearing a fake grin and laughing. _

"_Ahaha," Naruto laughed. "No worries. Yeah I get it."_

_The look on his face hurt Risa and she found herself hating Haruna for putting that look on his face. She swore that one day, she would make his so happy that this would be a distant memory for him. He would feel as happy when he was with her as she felt when she was with him.  
_

At least that was her plan at the time. Her attempts to win Naruto over hadn't met with much success. She had tried subtle. She had tried blatant. It was as if Naruto just didn't register romantic intentions. And now there was a new challenger, this Lala girl. She seemed to have a good relationship with Naruto and that worried Risa. In a matter of days Lala's relationship with Naruto seemed to reach a similar level as her own. Fortunately she seemed to be having the same lack of success that Risa was used to but the fact remained she was a threat. Risa tried to focus on the lecture which was not the easiest thing to do in a history lesson taught by a teacher with a voice so dry that a student had passed out with severe dehydration in one of his classes before. But you never know, maybe the Sengoku period would have some sort of hint to help her deal with her current issues.

* * *

Naruto stood opposite Rito on top of the school roof, arms crossed. Rito looked nervous but determined and Naruto couldn't help but admire the boy's courage.

Unbeknownst to the two males there 'confrontation' was not private. Risa, Mio and Haruna were sat on the stairs to the roof listening in. Haruna refused to believe that Naruto would fight Rito and that Rito would actually challenge Naruto and was sure that this had to be a misunderstanding. Mio agreed saying they were probably going to confess their feelings for each other to which Risa and Haruna gave her a funny look. Turns out Mio is into Yaoi.

"Uzumaki-san," Rito took a deep breath before falling to his knees and bowing to Naruto. "Make a man of me!"

"What?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"I knew it!" Mio moaned happily as she passed out with a nose bleed.

"I never knew…" Haruna stared into space in shock.

"I don't believe it… but…" Risa stared off into space. "Suddenly it starts to make sense why he doesn't react to me…"

Back with the boys Naruto was clearing out his ear with his little finger, "Do you mind repeating that?"

"I want you to teach me how to be a manlier person!" Rito clarified.

"Oh!" Naruto let out a sigh, "For a second I thought you meant…"

"What?" Rito looked confused.

"Ah nothing," Naruto laughed uneasily, "I suppose I could give you a few pointers but I'm not really that much of a manly man myself."

"But… certain people look up to you!" Rito pointed out.

"Well I guess some people might," Naruto admitted. "But that's mostly the perverted principal and Kenichi, not really people who I would want to have a high opinion of me. May I ask what brought this on?"

"Well…" Rito looked uncomfortable, "I don't feel right just saying it in public like this?"

"Does it involve a girl?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Rito nodded.

"Fine," Naruto shook his head. "We'll need to find somewhere to talk without people eavesdropping."

The three girls froze.

"You think someone could be eavesdropping on us?" Rito sounded panicky.

"Well it did sound like you were challenging me to a fight this morning," Naruto pointed out.

"It did?!" Rito went white as a sheet.

"Yeah," Naruto smirked at Rito's discomfort. "Well… where do you want to go to talk about this?"

"Well… my house is mostly empty right now." Rito looked at the blonde.

"Fine," Naruto stretched out. "I suppose I can try and help you out" _'Maybe then I can move on with my own life.' _

"Great!" Rito beamed, "Follow me!"

* * *

"I'm home," Rito called out as he and Naruto entered the house and took off their shoes.

"Nice place," Naruto commented.

"Thanks," Rito smiled.

"Welcome home," A small girl with long brown hair walked towards them. "Oh, what is this? You brought a friend home Rito? I was beginning to wonder if you had any."

"Mikan, this is Naruto, Naruto, this is my sister Mikan."

"Pleased to meet you," Naruto smiled warmly at Mikan.

"Thank you for looking after my brother," Mikan bowed politely.

"No worries," Naruto ruffled her hair affectionately earning an irritated glare from the smaller girl.

"Follow me," Rito lead Naruto to his room, "Please take a seat," he indicated the bed.

"… Thanks," Naruto sat down and was about to talk when his phone went off. "One moment please."

"Of course," Rito nodded.

"Hello mother," Naruto sighed as he answered the phone. "No I haven't been kidnapped. No I am not just saying that because I am at gun point. I am not being sold as a sex slave. I don't even know what that is but I'm pretty sure that isn't happening here. I am at a friend's house. No, not Sarenji's. Yes, I do have more than one friend. No he isn't imaginary. Good bye." Naruto hung up and sighed heavily. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay," Rito opened his mouth to speak when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

"I just brought up some tea," Mikan brought in a tray with tea and snacks on it. "I hope you like tea," She said glancing at Naruto.

"I do, thank you very much," Naruto smiled and took the offered cup.

"I'll leave you two alone," Mikan smiled as she left the room.

"You have a very dependable little sister there," Naruto remarked.

"Thanks," Rito smiled, "I don't know what I would do without her. So I was wondering, if there was a girl you were in love with… how'd you confess to her?"

"Is that really what you wanted to ask me?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I'd have thought you'd have wanted to know Sarenji's likes and dislikes."

"Ah!" Rito went crimson, "What do you mean… I mean why would I want to know...?"

"He isn't buying it," Mikan's voice called out.

"Ah… how long have you known?" Rito asked. "And don't eavesdrop on your big brother's conversations!"

"Long enough," Naruto smiled. "Don't worry, Sarenji seems completely unaware."

"Ah," Rito let out a sigh of relief. "Then…" Rito looked uneasy. "I mean… do you and Haruna-chan…"

"We aren't in a relationship nor does it look like we ever will be," Naruto assured Rito.

"That's good," Rito beamed, "I don't think I could compete with you if that was the case!"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Pardon?"

"Ah never mind, I was just thinking aloud." Naruto took a sip of the tea, "Man… this is pretty good. Your sister is quite gifted."

"Thank you," Mikan's voice responded.

"I told you to stop eavesdropping." Rito sighed.

"I'm just checking that this guy is actually your friend. He looks like a delinquent so I was checking he wasn't threatening you." Mikan replied honestly, "No offence by the way."

"None taken," Naruto laughed. "I wish I had a little sister like you."

"Unfortunately not everyone realises a good thing when they see it," Mikan's voice had a tone of humour in it.

"Hmm…" Naruto sipped his tea, "I can see."

"Hey!" Rito exclaimed. "Stop ganging up on me."

"Ahahaha," Naruto laughed heartily. "So what do you want from me then?"

"Hints and tips about Haruna I guess," Rito rubbed his chin. "What kind of man does she like?"

"Hmm…" Naruto stared off into the distance. "It would be easier to tell you the kind of guys she doesn't like…at least not romantically." _'If he stops seeing me as a threat then maybe it will encourage him to actually ask Haruna out.'_

"Oh?" Rito looked interested.

"Well… there's me for a start," Naruto looked at Rito. "I confessed to her a year or so ago and got shot down."

"Really!" Rito smiled. _'He was my biggest rival but it seems Haruna-chan isn't interested in him!' _

"There's no need to be so happy about it," Naruto remarked dryly.

"Ah, sorry." Rito bowed apologetically.

"I apologise, my brother is an idiot." Mikan called through the door.

"It must be hard to have a brother such as him," Naruto smirked.

"Oh you have no idea," Mikan and Naruto laughed as Rito started complaining about being bullied by his little sister.

"But back to my question," Rito looked at Naruto. "Do you know if she'd like a guy like me?"

"Do I know?" Naruto looked thoughtful. _'Well she has never actually confirmed that it is Yuuki who she likes… _"I can't guarantee but I can say you have the best chance of a successful confession."

"I see," Rito glanced at the door as it opened and Mikan entered with a cup of tea and sat on the bed beside Naruto. "Can I help you?"

"We both know I'd just stay outside eavesdropping. At least this way I am more comfortable," Mikan smiled.

"I really like your little sister," Naruto laughed and ruffled her hair getting another glare from the small girl.

* * *

Naruto returned home in a surprisingly good mood. Rito and Mikan were excellent company and even though Rito was trying to woo Haruna, Naruto actually enjoyed the time he had spent at Rito's house. Before he had left Mikan had told him he was always welcome at their house and gave him some biscuits to take home, which had barely lasted the ten minute walk from Rito's house to his own. Mikan was quite the talented little chef (she was responsible for most of the cooking in the Yuuki household Naruto had found out) and he made a mental note to drop by every so often.

As he opened the door he called out, "I'm home!" And took off his shoes whilst finishing off the last biscuit Mikan had given him.

"What took you so long?!" Kushina crossed her arms as Naruto walked into the dining room. "I was terrified that you had been kidnapped and used as a sex slave by some twisted middle aged woman!"

"…Are you talking about someone else living your dream?" Naruto responded.

"I'm not middle aged!" Kushina retorted.

"But you didn't deny the rest," Naruto shook his head. "Is Lala home?"

"Yes," Kushina nodded. "She's up to something. She went straight to her room and there has been all sorts of noises coming from there."

"I see," Naruto glanced at Lala's door. "Seems quiet now."

"Yeah," Kushina agreed.

"Which hopefully means she has finished whatever she was working on." He walked towards Lala's room.

"Hmm that Lala is monopolising my Naru-chan," Kushina muttered as she walked over to the shrine. "Minato, my Naru-chan is growing more and more distant what should i do? What?! I can't side with Lala! I have my pride to consider! How could you say that? Well that maybe true but... oh really? Well fine! Let's see you get any good incense! I'll burn rubbish at your shrine now! Who's the idiot now?!"

"Just when I thought she couldn't get weirder she starts arguing with a shrine." Naruto rubbed his forehead and knocked on Lala's door.

"Who is it?" Lala called out.

"Naruto."

"Okay! Come in!"

Naruto opened the door and paused. "You've decorated this room… and apparently made it bigger. A lot bigger." In fact Lala's room was now larger than the rest of the house.

"That's right!" Lala declared. "This room is partially in another dimension allowing it to be far larger than the original room would let it be!"

"Is this what you have been working on all day?"

"Oh this took me about fifteen minutes," Lala shook her head. "I spent most of today working on the training area for you!"

"You didn't have to go to such lengths for my sake," Naruto felt embarrassed.

"I call it… the Danger Room!" Lala announced dramatically.

"Ignoring the name for a moment, what exactly is the Danger Room?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Lala gestured to a door marked with an X. "In here you can simulate all sorts of battle scenarios and improve your combat skills."

"Why is the door marked with an X?" Naruto asked.

"It seemed right," was Lala's dismissive response. "Do you want to give it a test run?"

"Sure," Naruto nodded with a grin, "Sounds like it could be fun."

"Great!" Lala beamed before ushering Naruto through the door. The room was small, roughly the same size as Naruto's bedroom. It appeared to be empty and the walls, floor and ceiling were covered in very small white plastic looking tiles.

"This doesn't look that impressive," Naruto remarked as Lala left the room.

"Loading up training program OMGMIS #1," Lala's voice sounded over some speakers and all of a sudden what was a small room became a large barren wasteland.

"OMGMIS?" Naruto asked.

"It's named after what you'll be yelling shortly." Lala replied mischievously.

All of a sudden several shards of light started to merge into a shapes before Naruto. When the lights had finally died down, Naruto realised that he shouldn't have let Lala watch Earth TV

"Is that…?" Naruto started.

"Hai," Lala's voice sounded happy.

"Just one question Lala," Naruto asked calmly, "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT AN ENTIRE ARMY OF GUNDAM?!"

"Good luck!" Lala cut the communication and watched over the screen as Naruto was repeated assaulted by a barrage of laser fire and missiles.

"GOLDEN FINGER!"

"OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!" Naruto howled as he was destroyed for the umpteenth time.

"And that is why it is called that," Lala explained helpfully before ending the simulation. She walked into the chamber to see a twitching Naruto on the floor, looking perfectly unharmed.

"I died," Naruto remarked in an empty voice. "I have seen the next world and it is cold and unforgiving."

"See," Lala clapped her hands, "You can die as many times as is required in order to become a better fighter."

Naruto opened his mouth to yell at Lala but then paused, "Wait if I can feel the pain and tiredness from the simulation does that mean that…"

"Hai," Lala interrupted. "You are using your body in the simulator so any muscle growth and muscle memory you acquire in there is yours to keep! If you can increase your strength in the Danger Room (patent pending) then your real world strength also increases! Obviously there are pain dampeners in place so you don't feel the full impact of your 'deaths' but it is still a pretty good invention right? I can acquire the data of those most likely to attack you so you can fight them in the simulation and be prepared for them should they attack you!"

"Lala," Naruto looked at the pink haired alien, "You are actually a genius aren't you?"

"Thanks," Lala blushed.

"But just one question," Naruto asked, "WHY THE HELL A DID YOU MAKE ME FIGHT A GUNDAM ARMY?!"

"Well…" Lala twiddled her fingers, "I figured that the more extreme the danger the more likely it was you could trigger your transformation."

"Transformation?"

"Calling it a glowing blue thingy was getting old."

"Oh." Naruto sighed heavily. "Well if that proved anything it's that damage doesn't trigger that state."

"And now we know," Lala nodded pulling out a clipboard and ticking something on it. "Now for the next simulation unless you want to rest first?"

"I'm sure whatever it was it can't be as bad as that experience." Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"Well… there is OMGMIS #2 – That would be you fighting Cthulhu."

"Do you have any simulation that would end with my sanity intact? I have no intention of fighting any of the old ones today." Naruto sighed heavily.

"Well I suppose there is NACOV #1."

"NACOV?" Naruto asked.

"Not a Chance of Victory," Lala clarified. "That would be you fighting my father at his full strength before the Unification War."

"I see," Naruto deadpanned, "Your dad at full strength is more dangerous that Cthulhu?"

"Pretty much," Lala beamed.

"And that's the guy who I've got to beat up." Naruto shook his head. "Well I suppose that everyone should aim high."

"You don't have to fight my father," Lala shook her head.

"I promised didn't I?" Naruto turned to face Lala with a serious smile. "I told him I would kick his ass if he didn't let you marry who you want. I may not return your feelings but if you have really chosen me then these assassins are a sign he intends to stop our marriage." Naruto cracked his knuckles. "So that means I have to fight him!"

"Naruto…" Lala smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

"Lala?" Naruto blinked.

"You said our marriage!" Lala exclaimed crying tears of joy, "You've accepted my proposal!"

"I what?" Naruto blinked, "I… that isn't what I mean at all!"

"Your heart has spoken to me," Lala grabbed his hands. "I love you too Naruto-kun!"

"Listen to me!" Naruto sighed as Lala started dancing around. "Damn it. She looks so happy I can't just go and ruin that can I?"

"He loves me, he loves me!" Lala cheered as she continued running around the arena.

"Argh," Naruto couldn't look at her. When she was so happy like this she was almost blinding to look at. "Can we just load up a different simulation?"

"Hai!" Lala smiled happily.


	5. Chapter 5: No Rest for the Wicked

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: This is quite a long chapter in which Yui gets a little more time in the spotlight and we also meet a few new characters who will pop up every now and again. This story doesn't follow the To Love Ru story line (although it will have some events that are the same). Just so you know.

People were asking about certain characters that were from To Love Ru Darkness and the truth is I haven't actually read that past the first few chapters so most characters from that will not appear in this story. I am intending to start reading it though so after this story is finished I might do a sequel based on Darkness. So to summarise: No Mea, Tearju or Nemesis in this story.

Also I have had people complaining that eight choices weren't enough on the poll which was unexpected. Seeing as I did miss a couple of characters and quite a few people have messaged me about it, I will restart the poll this time with enough choices to select every character but one (due to how the polls work on this site). If anyone is interested in the poll results I will put the top ten below. If not jump down to the page break to begin the story! Once again I stress that poll is simply to show what people think of what characters. The general plot for this story is already planned out. If you don't want to vote again you don't have to. The next chapter will come out regardless of how many people vote on the poll.

Edit: Since My internet was down literally the instant I uploaded this chapter. It has been sitting around waiting for me to actually add it to the story. As a result we have another double chapter. If you voted on the poll and had 10 votes to place then you have already voted on the new poll.

Edit #2: Haruna's status in the harem is undecided. The orignal story idea had her and Rito struggling to confess to each other whilst Naruto comes to terms with his feelings for Lala however it seems a 50 / 50 split on whether she ends up with Rito or Naruto in the reviews and PMs i have recieved. We'll see how the story progresses in regards to Haruna and Naruto's relationship.

Poll Results (As of 2.11.14)

1st Place: Lala Deviluke (161 Votes)  
2nd Place: Momo Deviluke (148 Votes)  
3rd Place: Kushina Uzumaki and Yui Kotegawa (143 Votes)  
5th Place: Yami / Golden Darkness (137 Votes)  
6th Place: Risa Momioka (133 Votes)  
7th Place: Mikan Yuuki (126 Votes)  
8th Place: Ryouko Mikado (112 Votes)  
9th Place: Nana Deviluke (109 Votes)  
10th Place: Haruna Sarenji (82 Votes)

Thanks to everyone who has dropped a review and I hope you continue to read and enjoy reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love 'Ru

* * *

Chapter 5: No Rest for the Wicked

Naruto yawned as he woke up. Today was a Sunday so it wasn't as if he had to go to school but he did have plans. Glancing around, he was unsurprised to see both Kushina and Lala were in his bed. Smiling softly he crept out of his bed and grabbed some clothes from his wardrobe before heading the bathroom to get changed.

He yawned sleepily as he checked his attire. He was wearing faded jeans and a plain black shirt, his messy mop of blonde hair left untouched. His entire body ached. He had been in the Danger Room as Lala called it until the early hours of the morning. He had left Lala sleeping in her own bed so he had no idea how she had gotten into his.

"Probably has some sort of teleporter," Naruto grumbled as he stretched out and tried to massage out the pain in his arms. "Yesterday was a real eye opener." He muttered. He had tried fighting Gid but had been completely destroyed before he had time to even register the Devilukian Emperor's presence. Deciding to take a step back he tried fighting Zastin at his prime. Once again only the fact he was in the danger room kept him alive. Zastin had sliced him in half without ever being in danger of being struck by Naruto.

"I need a weapon," Naruto decided. Brawling just wasn't going to cut it when it came to fighting alien assassins, never mind the supreme ruler of the galaxy. He sighed as he made breakfast, making sure to leave something for Lala and Kushina to eat when they woke up. Grabbing an orange and black hoodie, Naruto left the house and started jogging around the neighbourhood. It was a cold, misty morning and Naruto could see his breath as he ran. He pulled up the hood to try and keep his ears warm and upped his speed.

As he was running he allowed his mind to wander. Recently life had been getting more and more hectic. Lala's presence was definitely making his life more interesting but how long until one of these assassin's targeted someone else to get to Naruto? If the prize was Lala and by extension becoming the ruler of the most powerful empire in the known galaxy, there would of course be all sort of shadowy individuals who would get involved and use his classmates as hostages.

He shivered at the thought of an alien assassin holding Haruna and Lala hostage. _'I have to make sure I am strong enough to protect everyone.' _Naruto clenched his fists before skidding to a halt as he noticed a familiar person.

"Zastin?" Naruto called out to the Devilukian Knight.

"Naruto-sama!" Zastin cried tears of joy. "I have been searching for your house for many days now!"

"I wondered where you were," Naruto admitted.

"I managed to get the milk you asked me to acquire," Zastin held out the milk.

"I sent you to get that three days ago," Naruto blinked. "Don't tell me you've been lost for that long?"

"Ah," Zastin had the grace to look embarrassed. "When I tried to ask locals for directions they all ran away and seem to avoid me. One wearing a uniform tried to put some strange bracelet on me that I accidentally broke and she seemed very distressed and called more similarly dressed people to help. I had to run away otherwise I may have hurt someone."

"That would explain the wanted posters I've been seeing," Naruto mused before returning his attention to Zastin, "Maybe it's your outfit."

"I see," Zastin scowled. "My armour may intimidate you humans but as Lala-sama's guard it is my duty to be prepared for combat at all times!"

"But if you can't even get people to help you find her, who good is being prepared for combat if you don't know where she is?"

"You speak wisely," Zastin nodded. "Very well. I will acquire less conspicuous clothing."

"Hey Zastin," Naruto paused slightly. "You are a good swordsman right?"

"That is correct," Zastin nodded proudly. "I hold the title for the greatest swordsman of Deviluke!"

"That's pretty impressive," Naruto nodded. "I was wondering… could you teach me to fight using a sword? I have some kendo training if that helps."

"May I ask why you wish to learn?"

"I was attacked by some Assassins the other day and won by pure luck," Naruto admitted. "I can't protect Lala and the others as I am now. It is only a matter of time until someone tries to target them. If I can't defend myself how can I save my friends?"

"A truly noble sentiment." Zastin smiled at Naruto. "But I am afraid I am not much of a teacher. Of course for Lala-sama's chosen one I will be willing to try but first," Zastin indicated his leg. "Can you remove this creature from me?"

Naruto blinked as he realised the small dog that was chewing on Zastin's leg. "Er… Sure," Naruto scratched the dog behind its ear causing it to let go of Zastin and bark happily.

"You have a way with animals," Zastin praised.

"Thanks," Naruto laughed, "Since I didn't have many friends as a child I tended to play with stray animals. I have something of a natural charisma when it comes to animals."

"I see," Zastin smiled. "Well now I must return to home. If assassins are making their move I must find and warn Lala-sama!"

"See you later," Naruto watched as Zastin started to walk away. The little dog gave a bark and pursued him resulting in Zastin racing down the street trying to outrun the little dog and seemed to be getting away until he ran into the middle of the road as was blindsided by a lorry. "Well… that happened. Still if he could survive being in my mother's presence after attacking me I'm sure a little thing like being run over will barely even wind him." His phone started to ring, "I don't recognise this number. Could this be… another contact to add to my phone?!" Naruto's eyes lit up. "Hello?" He answered the phone.

"Hi!" Lala's voice called out. "I got this number from your mother's phone and made myself a mobile phone! Where are you?"

"Just jogging around town," Naruto answered accepting that Lala was smart enough to build a phone and get it to work. Compared to the danger room which bent the very rules of the universe, a phone was probably not even a challenge to the alien genius. "I usually do on a Sunday."

"Kushina told me there is no school today." Lala sounded happy.

"Oh yeah," Naruto chuckled, "I forgot to tell you that yesterday."

"It's okay." Lala didn't seem upset, "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date today?"

"Sorry but I have plans already today." Naruto sounded apologetic.

"Oh that's okay," Lala's voice was a little disappointed.

"Hey didn't you make any friends at School?" Naruto asked.

"Sure!" Lala cheered right up. "Haruna-chan offered to show me around the town."

"Take her up on it," Naruto suggested. "Sarenji is a nice person and I'm sure the two of you will get along famously. Just don't reveal the fact you are an alien okay?"

"Okay!" Lala made a kissing noise.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"Blowing you a kiss of course!" Lala laughed. "Isn't it normal for two lovers to do that sort of thing?"

"WHEN DID THE TWO OF YOU BECOME LOVERS?!" Kushina's roar was audible through the phone.

"Run Lala," Naruto replied with dead seriousness. "Run and don't look back!"

"Okay!" Lala's cheerful nature was unaffected by Kushina's fury. "I'll see you later!"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded as Lala hung up. "New contact added!" Naruto cheered inwardly as he saved Lala's number. It was a small thing but Naruto was aware that he had a depressingly low number of contacts on his phone. That's why he was always happy to receive new ones. In middle school he had been told that a man's worth was determined by his friends and that the easiest way to see how many true friends he had was by looking at his mobile phone contacts. Admittedly it had been his grandfather on his father's side of the family that told him that when he justified buying Naruto a mobile to Kushina, who claimed Naruto didn't need one as all he needed to talk to was Kushina herself who had a god given bond that allowed her to know exactly where Naruto was at every moment. It wasn't until many years later Naruto discovered that she had put GPS trackers on everything he owned. It was reasons like this that Naruto developed an interest in technology.

He continued on his jog allowing his thoughts to wander freely once more. Lala was definitely happy about his choice of words last night.

"_It means you have acknowledged that I really want to marry you." Lala smiled softly. "That you understand that it is because I love you and not a marriage of convenience." _

"_It does?" Naruto blinked. _

"_Because it is __**our **__marriage. It was a slip of the tongue I am sure, but it shows deep down you love me too! All I have to do is draw out your love until it reaches the surface!" Lala looked pumped up. "The real battle starts now!" _

Naruto chuckled at the memory. After another ten minutes jogging Naruto arrived at his destination. It was an old fashioned looking dojo with two toads carrying swords as the logo. Naruto lowered his hood and entered the dojo. It was empty besides a tall old man with a smoking pipe and a young boy who was furiously swinging a bokuto.

"Hey Oji-san," Naruto called out.

"Morning brat," An old man smoking a pipe turned to squint at him. The man was bald and had a fierce scar on his face. He eyes were a fierce orange and he was wearing traditional Japanese clothing in a dark brown colour and generally looked like a high up member of a Yakuza. His name was Bunta and this was his dojo.

"Naruto-aniki!" The young boy paused to nod at Naruto before returning to his training. The boy wore a bright orange hoodie and black leggings. He only came up to Naruto's waist and had yellow eyes. This was Kichi and he was Bunta's son. The two of them were the only people you would ever find in the Gama Dojo.

"You said you wanted me?" Naruto watched Kichi practice alongside Bunta.

"Yeah," Bunta took the pipe out of his mouth and refilled the tobacco. "I've been hearing rumours that the Panthers have been causing trouble at your school."

"That's right," Naruto scowled. "I think they are after me."

"That's more than likely," Bunta nodded. "I have heard similar rumours from my old… friends. I am worried about you boy."

"Please the panthers are the least of my problems," Naruto muttered.

"Then you are truly living in interesting times," Bunta chuckled. "The Panther's had some serious funding. I don't know who is paying but the fact is they are more than just some street gang. They have some serious muscle. Right now they only view you as a nuisance but before long they are going to step up their game. Just thought I should warn you."

"Alright," Naruto nodded, "Thanks for the warning."

"you are welcome," Bunta turned his attention back to his son. "Sort out your stance!"

"Hai!" Kichi straightened up and increased the speed of his sword swings.

"And you," Bunta turned back to Naruto. "Your brawling may have been effective up until now but you need to sort out a true fighting style. You can't rely on brute force anymore. I'd offer you a position in our dojo again but we both know you wouldn't accept it."

"If I re-join then I will just be bringing more trouble to your doorstep. You and Kichi are practically family. I refuse to endanger you." Naruto smiled at the old man.

"Well if that's the case," Bunta walked over to the wall and threw a wooden katana at the blonde who caught it deftly. "Just a spar for old time's sake."

"Sure," Naruto held the bokuto in front of him and took a deep breath.

"Whenever you are ready," Bunta tipped some ash out of his pipe.

Naruto charged without a word, swinging at Bunta's neck but he deftly parried the attack with his pipe.

"Stop telegraphing your attacks," Bunta lectured. "I saw that coming from last Tuesday!"

Naruto launched a barrage of furious slashes, each of which was easily parried by the old man and his smoking pipe.

"Quantity will never beat quality brat," Bunta laughed and struck Naruto on the hand with his pipe.

"Damn it," Naruto cursed as he dropped the sword.

"Now we are going to try this again," Bunta kicked the wooden sword up into his hand and passed it back to Naruto. "But I want you to listen to me. Calm yourself down. Take deep breaths. Focus on what it is you are fighting for."

Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you thinking about your reason?" Bunta asked.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Then it isn't a good one," Bunta countered. "What is it?"

"I am thinking how much I want to shove that pipe where the sun doesn't shine," Naruto smirked.

"This is serious boy!" Bunta growled. "If you don't have a reason to fight you will get yourself killed!"

"Sorry," Naruto bowed his head. "What kind of reason should I have?"

"That is something only you can know." Bunta sighed. "Think, have you ever done something that when you look back at it seems impossible?"

"A few times," Naruto recalled his fight with Zastin and the gun wielding panthers.

"What was going through your head at the time?" Bunta asked.

"Er…" Naruto closed his eyes.

_'__Damn it. How do I beat this guy?' __Naruto thought as he struggled to stay awake. He could hear distant voices arguing. Then a scream from Lala. _

_"I will never give in!" Naruto roared as he exploded from the waterfall._

"What was going through your mind?" Bunta asked circling Naruto.

'_Am I going to die?' His mind threw up images. Kushina weeping over his grave. Lala, Haruna and Risa looking sad. Yui blaming herself for him dying. 'To hell with that!'_

"My precious people…" Naruto muttered. "I didn't want them to be sad… to be in danger."

"Focus on that feeling!" Bunta ordered. "Every fight you are in there is a chance you could lose. If you lose you could end up hurting those you care about! SO WHAT MUST YOU NEVER DO?" Bunta attacked with the pipe aiming for Naruto's head.

"LOSE!" Naruto roared as the blue aura enveloped him and he swing at Bunta's pipe, cutting through the ivory handle as if it were paper. Naruto panted heavily and the aura faded.

"Remember brat," Bunta smirked. "True strength is never achieved if you only fight for yourself. Fighting for yourself is weakness, fighting for others is when you become strong. Keep the bokuto. When times get hard remember the Gama family has your back."

"Thanks," Naruto bowed to Bunta and left, waving goodbye to Kichi. _'That power… was that the same as when I fought Zastin and the panthers?' _

"Do you think he'll get the hint dad?" Kichi paused in his swings.

"He has to. That boy has been thrown head first into one of the most dangerous competitions in the galaxy." Bunta remarked. "If it were anyone else I would say they were screwed but Naruto has a habit of surprising me. Besides the boss has given us orders regarding Naruto anyway. I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD STOP SWINGING BOY!"

"HAI!" Kichi returned to swinging the sword.

* * *

Lala smiled happily as she and Haruna walked around the town. She was wearing one of Kushina's old outfits consisting of a red cardigan and black dress. Haruna was wearing a plain beige dress and was watching Lala with a smile.

"And this here is the shopping area," Haruna indicated as they approached a shopping centre.

"Ooh!" Lala smiled. "Maybe I should get a new dress to welcome Naruto home in tonight!"

"Pardon?" Haruna blinked. _'Welcome home?' _

"Well last night Naruto accepted my feelings!" Lala cheered.

"Oh." Haruna was shocked. "Er… I mean congratulations Deviluke-san."

"Please call me Lala!" Lala pouted cutely.

"O… Okay Lala-san," Haruna bowed her head slightly.

"Muu," Lala pursed her lips. "Close enough for now I guess." Her mood instantly improved, "What kind of dress do you think I should wear for him? Do you know what he likes?"

"Er…" Haruna paused. "I'm afraid I don't really know. Maybe something in orange as that is his favourite colour."

"Then let's look together! If we both like it then surely Naruto will as well!" Lala dragged Haruna into the store.

"Well look who it is," a familiar voice sounded from behind Lala and Haruna.

"Risa-chan!" Lala exclaimed happily.

"Well I wish everyone was that happy to see me," Risa laughed as she joined the two girls. "What are you two up to?"

"I was just showing Lala-San around," Haruna smiled.

"Yeah!" Lala nodded. "Haruna-chan was giving me a tour of the local area and I decided I needed to buy a new dress. I have money and everything!" Lala had in fact been given the money by Kushina. Admittedly Kushina had told her to use the money to get a taxi to go to the nearest space shuttle station and get a lift back home but Lala was 90% sure she was joking. Actually considering Kushina had been revving a chainsaw to 'rid the world of pink haired Succubi' maybe that was 75% sure. Lala is almost suicidally optimistic.

"Ooh, do you mind if I tag along?" Risa smiled. _'As Sun Tzu said to defeat your enemy you must know your enemy! Or something like that. I'm pretty sure somebody somewhere in time has said that.' _

"I have no objections," Haruna nodded.

"Sure! The more the merrier!" Lala happily wandered ahead, picking up dresses and holding them against her before putting them back and running to another dress and repeating. Risa and Haruna watched with amusement.

"She is like a little child in a candy store," Risa chuckled.

"Yes… she said that Uzumaki-san has returned her feelings." Haruna frowned slightly.

"Seriously?" Risa forced a smile onto her face. "Good for her. I have to admit I am surprised that he actually returned her feelings."

"Ah what are you talking about?" Lala seemed to appear next to the two girls causing them to jump in shock.

"We were just talking about Naruto," Risa smiled at Lala. "Haruna says you two are getting along quite well."

"Hai," Lala blushed. "Why the other night he was even talking about our marriage."

"What?" Risa cried out before clearing her throat, "I mean, oh in what way?"

"Papa has been sending people to break us up but Naruto said he would fight for our marriage." Lala started going through more dresses.

"Did Naruto say he wanted to marry you?" Risa asked.

"Of course not," Lala laughed. "I knew it wouldn't be that easy to win him over. But he is actually accepting that I want to marry him rather than just assuming that I am using him to get out of another marriage."

"Oh!" Risa let out a breath she didn't even realise she was holding, "So you are happy because Naruto is now taking your advances seriously."

"Hai," Lala smiled with her hands crossed over her heart, "Just the knowledge that Naruto knows that I genuinely love him is a massive obstacle overcome! Given the nature of our meeting he would always suspect I was just using him." Lala seemed fired up. "But now he has acknowledged my feelings I feel as if I could take over the world!"

"I see." Risa laughed out of relief and genuine amusement. "Well good luck."

"Good luck to you too." Lala smiled.

"Er… why would I need it?" Risa faltered.

"Oh… don't you have feelings for Naruto too?" Lala asked innocently.

"What? What makes you say that?" Risa blinked.

"Well you always get close to him when you can, you watch him a lot in class and you blushed when I just asked you if you liked him," Lala smiled warmly. "Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"I…" Risa was honestly shocked. "I don't know what to say."

"It's okay." Lala grabbed Risa's hand. "If your feelings are true I am sure that they will reach Naruto."

"I…" Risa looked away. "Should you really be supporting your friend to win the heart of the guy you like?"

"I don't see why not. It's the duty of a friend to support their friends isn't it?" Lala asked.

Haruna blinked at her words. She could see a grinning Naruto saying similar words to her not so long ago.

"You… are really weird," Risa laughed. "But in a good way."

"Thanks," Lala smiled. "Oh isn't that dress pretty!" Lala dashed to one side.

"I wonder… Is it fate that Naruto has met someone as kind as he is?" Haruna wondered aloud.

"What kind of person supports their friends' love lives at the cost of their own?" Risa asked with a sad smile.

Before Haruna could answer a familiar voice shook them to their cores.

"I trust you are not up to anything shameless Momioka-san," Yui walked towards the two. She was wearing a thick winter coat that covered most of her body. "Good morning Sarenji-san."

"Good morning," The two girls returned the greeting.

"I'm not up to anything at the moment," Risa grinned. "But the day is young I and I haven't run into Naruto today."

"Uzumaki-san?" Yui raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, when we get together we do all sorts of _naughty_ things," Risa emphasised the 'naughty' by lifting her skirt a little.

"Shameless!" Yui blushed and stepped away from Risa. "Even if we are not in school you should act more befitting of your gender and age!"

"Oh?" Risa tilted her head. "How is that? Wearing coats that hide your figure because you have no confidence in your sex appeal?" Risa grinned. "Like you?"

"I have confidence," Yui countered. "I just don't feel the need to go around showing everyone! Only the person I marry gets to see those parts of me!"

"And how will you ever get married if you don't show the guys a little something to get them eager?"

"Not all men are controlled by the baser instincts. My husband will be a pure hearted man who loves me for my personality." Yui retorted.

"Fat chance of that happening," Risa smirked.

Yui scowled. "I'll have you know that I have a boyfriend!"

"Oh really," Risa snorted. "And what's his name?"

"I fail to see how this is any of your business." Yui retorted.

"Hey Yui-chan," A tall guy wandered up with a grin. "There you are? These girl's your friends?"

"No way…" Risa faltered. "Is that your boyfriend?"

Before Yui could counter the boy simply laughed. "Nah, this here's my little sister. The name's Yuu Kotegawa. Pleased to meet you."

"So… do you know Yui's boyfriend?" Risa asked while Yui prayed to any gods that may have been watching to somehow save her dignity.

"Yeah, we've met a couple of times," Yuu lied flawlessly.

"I… don't believe it." Risa actually staggered backwards. "I always thought I would get a boyfriend long before Yui would!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yui replied hotly.

"Now, now girls," Yuu laughed. "If you want to have a cat fight can you do it later on when I have a camera to hand?" He dodged a furious swipe from Yui, "Yui and I have some errands to run."

"I will see you at school Sarenji-san," Yui smiled politely at Haruna, "Momioka-san," Yui glared at Risa who stuck her tongue out in return.

"See you girls," Yuu waved as the two walked away and out of the clothing store. "Don't worry. You big brother's got your back! But seriously you should just ask out the guy you keep doodling in your diary. That way I won't have to cover for you in front of your friends!"

"Stop reading my diary!" Yui turned crimson as they made their way down the street. Yui noticed a familiar figure jogging towards them.

"What was his name again…?" Yuu looked thoughtful.

"Naruto?!" Yui blinked as she saw recognised the familiar form approaching them.

"That's the… WHAH?!" Yuu cried out in pain as Yui stamped on his foot.

"You alright?" Naruto raised an eyebrow as he walked by, bokuto resting on his shoulder and his hood over his head. "I thought I heard you call my name and this guy yelled out in pain."

"Uzumaki-san!" Yui drew herself up to her full height. "What are you doing?"

"Walking around?" Naruto offered. Then it slowly dawned on him that with his current attire and the wooden katana resting on his shoulder he looked like he was delinquent up to no good. "I can explain."

"I'm waiting." Yui crossed her arms.

"I have just visited a dojo and he gave me this free bokuto as a reward for cutting through an ivory pipe with just this very sword." Naruto replied honestly.

"You need to work on your lies," Yui retorted. "Wait… forget that I said that. Today is not a school day so I cannot do anything. But please try and be a better person. If you keep along this path you will eventually end up getting hurt." _'I don't want to have to see you badly hurt again…' _

"Don't worry Yui-chan," Naruto laughed, "I'm not going to be beaten by some lowlife delinquents."

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed.

"Ah young love," Yuu sighed happily.

"Pardon?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Brother!" Yui glared at Yuu who just laughed.

"Well I have to some errands to run but with all the delays there is no way Yui and I can do them all together and Yui's job requires an extra person to do the heavy lifting. If only there was a good hearted civilian who could help us in our time of need," Yuu posed dramatically.

"Your brother likes over acting doesn't he?" Naruto said to Yui before facing her brother. "Fine… I guess I can lend you guys a hand."

"Great!" Yuu handed a list to Naruto. "I'm off to meet my girlfriend. Have fun you two!" Yuu left so fast he actually left an afterimage.

"Did I just get tricked into doing his work?" Naruto asked.

"He is so irresponsible when it comes to his girlfriend." Yui scowled. "He should focus more on his studies and on bettering himself."

"Oh don't be so hard on him," Naruto chuckled. "When you find someone you love you'll realise why he acts the way he does."

"What makes you think I'm not in love with someone," Yui retorted before immediately regretting it.

"Oh? The Tyrant of the School Corridors has a crush," Naruto scratched his chin. "Heh, sorry I didn't realise you had someone you liked."

"It's okay… I do a good job of hiding my feelings I suppose," Yui gestured to the list in Naruto's hands. "I'll go finish these chores."

"It's okay," Naruto smiled. "After all isn't it more fun to do these sorts of things with someone else?"

"I suppose," Yui pulled up her collar to hide her rising blush. "I guess if I keep my eyes on you then you can't do anything immoral."

"I sometimes wonder how you see me," Naruto remarked dryly as the two walked down the street together.

"I hear tales about you all the time, always getting into trouble." Yui glanced at Naruto who was reading the list, "Don't you think about your future?"

"All the time," Naruto smiled.

"Then why do you not apply yourself more to your studies?" Yui asked.

"Even if I did so long as I look like this trouble will seek me out," Naruto pointed to his blonde hair.

"Couldn't you dye your hair black?" Yui suggested. "If you stood out less they would be less likely to start fights with you."

"I know you are trying to help me and have my best interests at heart, really I do," Naruto shook his head. "But my hair is the one thing that can link me back to my father. If I change its colour it is as if I am severing my link to him. I… haven't admitted this to anyone but I can barely remember anything about him. If I lose this last link… I may lose the last few memories of him that I have."

"I… I didn't know." Yui bowed her head. "I am sorry Uzumaki-san."

"Ah no worries," Naruto smiled. "Like I said. Nobody but I and I guess now you know that. It'll be our little secret ok?" He winked at Yui.

"Uzumaki-san," Yui was glad the collar of her coat hid her blush. The two continued their walk in silence. Yui felt happy just be in Naruto's presence and he was just happy to have gotten his fears about his father off of his chest. They arrived at the first destination and Naruto blinked stupidly.

"Is this right?" Naruto double checked the list. "I mean I thought the name sounded familiar but…"

"What kind of tasks has Onii-sama left us with?" Yui muttered.

They were stood in front of a maid café.

"This can't be right," Naruto shook his head. "Can it?"

"I guess… we will have to go inside and find out." Yui led the way into the café.

"Okaerinasaimase, goshujin-sama!" A group of girls dressed in maid's outfits bowed to them as they entered. It was quite a small café with about seven tables, one for each of the maid's stood before them.

"Er… Hi?" Naruto waved uncertainly.

"We are here at the request of Yuu Kotegawa," Yui introduced herself. "I am Yui, his younger sister. This is Naruto Uzumaki he…"

"Oh Uzumaki-sama!" One of the maids called out in surprise. "We meet again."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked while Yui silently seethed in the background.

'_So Naruto visits these kind of places does he! How immoral!' _

"Oh Hinata!" Naruto laughed. "I haven't seen you in ages. Gargh!" He suddenly flinched. "Sorry I didn't…"

"It is okay Uzumaki-sama."

"Take Naruto to a table," A middle aged woman walked towards them. She had long blonde hair in two pigtails and wore a green Kimono which emphasised her sizeable bust. "Well I guess you could look good as a maid."

"What?" Yui blinked.

"Didn't your brother tell you why you were here?" The blonde raised any eyebrow. "That Yuu brought his girlfriend here on a date then bailed when it came to pay the tab. He said his little sister would work off the debt for him."

"Huh?" Yui blinked stupidly. _'What kind of idiot takes his girlfriend to a maid café on a date? More importantly why did he dine and dash? He has plenty of money!' _

"Tsunade-baachan," Naruto crossed his arms. "Can't you cut her some slack?"

'_And why is Naruto on such personal terms with the owner?' _Yui growled internally.

"Well since you are offering," Tsunade grinned. "Maybe I could use a butler for the day. Alright ladies! Let's dress 'em up!"

"Wait, what?" Yui and Naruto spoke at the same time as they were forced into the back room and left with two uniforms in the changing room.

"Not this again," Naruto picked up one of the uniforms and walked into the changing rooms.

"So you have been here before?" Yui decided to ask whilst she picked up the uniform. It went against her morals to wear such a thing but leaving a debt unpaid was a worse crime to the moral fabric of society. That was the only reason she would wear it. It totally wasn't because she wanted to see if Naruto thought she was cute in a maid outfit. Not at all.

"I've never come as a customer," Naruto quickly answered. "Tsunade is my Grandmother on my adopted mother's side. She was the one who recommended moving here."

"I see," Yui answered. "And how do you know that Hinata?"

"She is the only blind maid in the city," Naruto remarked. "I've met her a few times around the city and helped her settle in."

"Oh…" Yui accepted and started to feel a little guilty for suspecting him of something he wasn't guilty for.

"Yeah, when she first arrived here she was always getting hassled so Tsunade hired me to act as a bouncer to deal with the more unruly customers. Fortunately Hinata is capable of looking after herself now and a few of the maids are ex-military."

"Seriously?" Yui blinked.

"Yeah," Naruto stepped out of his changing room adjusting the sleeves on his butler's outfit. Using a comb and hair gel that Tsunade had supplied he managed to get his hair to look more respectable. He turned to face Yui's changing room as she stepped tentatively out of the changing room.

"How do I look?" Yui asked shyly. The maid uniform's skirt was a little short for Yui's comfort but seeing Naruto's expression made it worth it.

"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "You look amazing."

"T…Thanks," Yui stuttered out her face aflame. "You look good too."

"Just get out here and start serving customers! You two can make out later!" Tsunade called from the dining area.

"Baa-chan!" Naruto yelled back before turning to Yui with a smile, "So shall we get this over with."

"As you wish," Yui bowed demurely. "Goshujin-sama."

Naruto blinked stupidly before shaking himself then smiled handsomely at Yui. "After you, Ojou-sama," Naruto offered his hand. Yui's face went crimson as she tried not to look at him.

They spent a good few hours helping out at the café. As most of the customers were males, Yui and the other maids were kept quite busy. Yui was surprisingly popular, her clumsiness and stuttering seemed to increase her appeal to the customers.

There were also a few girls who visited and were waited by Naruto who acted like a complete gentlemen when he was working. Yui couldn't help but sigh dreamily as she stood by the counter watching him.

"If he acted like this all the time he would be beating the girl's off with a stick," Tsunade chuckled as Yui suddenly realised she was being watched.

"I'm sorry," Yui bowed her head.

"Don't worry. You've more than paid off your brother's debt." Tsunade handed her a small envelope. "That's a little something to say thanks. You can keep the outfit, it looks good on you and I'm sure he agrees." Tsunade nodded towards Naruto. "I'm glad Naruto's found a girl who can look after him. God only knows that daughter of mine is doing a terrible job."

"It… we aren't like that!" Yui blushed crimson.

"Oh really?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow "And you have no interest in Naruto then?"

"Not at all," Yui shook her head furiously. "We are just go to the same school."

"Hmm…" Tsunade grinned. "Then I would advise you to sue your face for slander."

Yui merely tried to cover her intense blush.

While Tsunade was having fun embarrassing Yui there was a ringing as another customer entered.

"Okaerinasaimase, goshujin-sama!" The maids bowed to the new arrivals.

"See!" Kenichi grinned. "I told you the maids here were cute!"

"Why did you bring me here?" Rito sighed as he was lead to a table by Hinata who appeared completely unhindered by her lack of sight.

"Oh come on!" Kenichi waved all around him. "Can't you see the beautiful girls?"

"If Haruna-chan was wearing a maid's outfit…" Rito went crimson.

"Man," Kenichi sighed. "You need to not be all hung up on one girl. You should be more like the manly sage! If he couldn't win the heart of one girl (not that any woman can resist his manly advances mind you) he would not let it get him down! He would turn to his harem and seek comfort in their arms!"

"You keep talking about his harem but I've never even seen him with a girl besides Haruna-chan," Rito shook his head at his friend.

"Well… there is… er…" Kenichi scowled. "Oh yes! There is Lala and Yui at the very least!"

"**Is that so?" **A dark foreboding voice sent shivers down Kenichi's spine as he turned to see Yui with an evil aura surrounding her.

"Er… did I say Yui I meant… er… you! Because Yuuki is in Naruto's harem."

"Spreading false rumours is poison to our society's moral wellbeing!" Yui crossed her arms and began lecturing Kenichi who seemed to have a strange joyous expression on his face.

'_Is it just me?' _Rito thought, _'Or is Kenichi enjoying being yelled at a little too much here?' _

"Kotegawa-san," Rito coughed to get her attention, "Why are you working in a maid café?"

"OOH!" Kenichi blew steam from his nostrils, "I was so into being bullied by her I didn't even realise that she was wearing a maid's outfit!"

"Pervert!" Yui staggered away with a look of disgust. "I am here to repay a debt!"

"A debt?" Rito asked.

"My idiot big brother dined and dashed here." Yui sighed sadly. "I wish he would be a more upstanding citizen. I am here to clear his debt."

"May he dine and dash here regularly." Kenichi clapped his hands as if praying.

"I would lecture you but I have the feeling you would enjoy it," Yui scowled at Kenichi.

"Oh please… just a little yelling."

"No."

"Maybe… pull my hair?"

"You are sick and twisted!"

"Oooh yes!" Kenichi hugged himself with a cheesy grin.

"Oh hey guys," Naruto nodded as he walked by the table they were sat at.

"Masterful Action Sage!" Kenichi blinked in shock. "I see… it all makes sense now."

"What does?" Naruto glanced at Yui who just shook her head.

"Why there are so many beautiful women here." Kenichi's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "This is where you keep your harem!" He turned to Rito, "You almost made me doubt the master's greatness!"

"Moving on…" Naruto turned to Yui. "I've spoken to Tsunade and she says we can get out of here."

"Okay. I'll go get changed." Yui ran to the changing rooms.

"Oh," Kenichi looked disappointed. "I was enjoying her bullying me."

"Then I think I know the maid for you," Naruto sighed. "Tayuya-san we have a customer here that requires your… special talents."

A red haired maid walked up to the table and glanced at Kenichi with a look of disgust. "Tch, what the fuck do you think you are doing here you little pathetic shit stain?"

"Aaah!" Kenichi cried tears of happiness.

"I think I'm out of here," Rito started to edge away from his friend.

"Yeah me too," Naruto admitted, stopping only to pick up his clothes and Yui.

The three left the maid café, Yui back in her big coat but Naruto still wearing the butler's outfit.

"I was surprised to see you in there," Rito turned to Naruto. "Do you work there regularly?"

"No," Naruto shook his head. "I was just helping Yui out with some jobs, which reminds me," Naruto pulled the list out of his pocket. "We still have a few more jobs on this place."

"Let me see that," Yui took the list from his hands and sighed heavily. "Most of these places will be closed by now."

"Ah, sorry I couldn't help you," Naruto apologised.

"You were a massive help," Yui smiled warmly at Naruto. "Thank you for helping me. It was… fun hanging around with you."

"Really?" Naruto merely smiled as the two males walked Yui home in silence. Yui had a lot on her mind. It seemed that maybe she had been wrong with Naruto. He had been nothing but a gentlemen all day.

Naruto was merely happy that Yui seemed to be opening up a little to him. He didn't have many friends and the prospect of making a new friend made him feel warm inside.

Rito was feeling like a third wheel on a date.

"I guess this is good night then," Yui walked up to her door and turned to face the two boys. "Thank you very much for escorting me home Uzumaki-san, Yuuki-san."

"No worries," Naruto smiled warmly at Yui making her feel all tingly inside. "We should hang out more often."

"I… I would like that," Yui managed to force out before shutting the door and putting her hands on her face. The image of the Princely Naruto and his gentle smile was causing her heart to go into overdrive.

"Well… that went well I guess," Naruto scratched the back of his head as he and Rito started walking towards Rito's house.

"I didn't know you were so friendly with Kotegawa-san," Rito admitted. "She always seems to have it out for you at school."

"Yeah," Naruto sighed. "She has a tendency to believe the rumours she hears about me and always assumes the worst. Still she is a good person at heart and I know she thinks she is doing me a favour."

"By making jump out of a window on the second floor of a school?" Rito raised an eyebrow.

"It's exercise?" Naruto shrugged before the two started laughing. They arrived at Rito's house when suddenly a strange man burst out of it.

"RITO!" He grabbed the young boy by the shoulders and started shaking him. "IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" He paused as he saw Naruto. "You're not threatening my son are you? You look like a Yakuza dressed up in that suit."

"No dad!" Rito pried himself from his father's grasp. "This is my friend, Naruto Uzumaki."

"Pleased to meet you," Naruto nodded at the man. "I am assuming you are Rito's dad then?"

"That's right." The man nodded, "The name is Saibai Yuuki. Say you look a reliable sort."

"I thought I looked like a Yakuza," Naruto deadpanned.

"A reliable one though. Like the one who they put in charge of their gang's finances," Saibai nodded his head. "Can you draw?"

"A little," Naruto admitted. "I used to draw Manga when I was little because I didn't have many friends."

"Great!" Saibai clapped him on the shoulder. "You should help me out!"

"Er… doing what exactly?" Naruto asked.

"My dad is a Manga artist," Rito explained. "He _always_ leaves his work to the last minute which basically means he comes around here ordering me to help him out. You don't have to help him."

"I've always been curious how a manga artist works." Naruto admitted. "I can spare a bit of time to help you out."

"Great!" Saibai gave him a thumbs up. "Then let's go!" Saibai grabbed Naruto in one arm and Rito in the other before dragging him towards his studio.

Several Hours Later

"My hand…" Naruto groaned as he and Rito left the studio. "My wrist is absolute agony." The sun was now setting as the two made their way back to Rito's house.

"I was surprised that you are actually quite a good artist," Rito laughed. "Now that dad knows that he will constantly hound you for help."

"I figured that when he asked for my mobile number." Naruto admitted. "Still I got another contact on my phone though." Naruto looked happy.

"Oh?"

"I… It's kind of stupid I know but I like getting new mobile phone contacts." Naruto admitted.

"That's a thought," Rito looked at Naruto. "We don't have each other's numbers do we?"

"No," Naruto grinned like a madman. "Want to exchange numbers?"

"Sure. We are friends aren't we?" Rito got out his phone whilst Naruto tried not to sing. Three new contacts in one day! Maybe his social life was finally starting to get going!

"Oh so there you are," Mikan opened the door to her house, "Hello Uzumaki-san."

"Hey there Yuuki-chan," Naruto waved as he put his phone with Rito's number on it back in his picket. "Just call me Naruto, Uzumaki-san makes me feel old."

"Okay then Naruto," Mikan smiled. "I guess you can just call me Mikan. Thanks for helping my idiot brother and father. Can I ask why you are dressed up like that though?"

"I was just working as a butler." Naruto admitted.

"A butler huh?" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "You seem far too informal to pull of that act."

"Is that so _Ojou-sama?" _Naruto switched to butler mode causing Mikan to laugh.

"Man, I bet you are beating the girls off with a stick. I don't suppose you could teach my brother to do that? He might _actually _get a girlfriend then… but I'm not holding my breath."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I imagine Rito would make a terrible butler. He'd end up tripping and spilling a drink on a customer's clothes making them go see through."

"That sounds like my brother," Mikan admitted exasperatedly.

"I am still here you know?" Rito sighed.

"We know," Naruto and Mikan replied in sync before laughing at Rito's dejected expression.

"Well I'd best be getting home." Naruto waved good bye to the Yuuki family. "I'll see you at school tomorrow Rito, I'll see you around I guess Mikan-chan."

"See you later!" The brother and sister waved him off before going back into their house.

"Those two seem to get along really well in a healthy sibling kind of way." Naruto sighed wistfully. "I guess I am the only one with a messed up family life. I wonder what it would be like if Kushina acted more like my mother."

Naruto scowled as he recalled a scene from a dream he had.

_A red haired woman leered at him. "Do mommy a favour and die."_

"No…" Naruto shook his head, "Maybe it's for the best that she doesn't." He muttered as he entered his house to a scene of absolute destruction. "Have we been robbed?!" He stepped on a broken piece of glass and suddenly a demonic figure charged into the room revving a chainsaw.

"DIE YOU PINK HAIRED SUCCUBI! I WILL oh hello Naruto it's you. I thought Lala had returned." Kushina stopped yelling and put down the chainsaw she was carrying.

"Do I want to know?" Naruto asked.

"I have to protect my Naru-chan from alien herpes," Kushina replied without any hint of shame.

"Don't you mean Harpies?" Naruto tried.

"I know what I said," Kushina smiled evilly. "I won't let my precious Naru-chan get anything from that space harlot! You should just gave sex with me! I'm STD free." Kushina winked at Naruto.

"It is days like this that make me wonder if I should be visiting a therapist." Naruto rubbed his temples ignoring the parts of libido that were screaming 'Hell yes!'

"Ooh…" Kushina smirked and somehow changed into a naughty nurse cosplay. "Do you want to play the sexy therapist and her sexy, sexy patient?"

"I feel that when you use that title you have missed a space out between the e and r of the therapist."

"I have no idea what you mean," Kushina replied huffily.

"I have to get some sleep." Naruto shook his head, "I am too tired to deal with this right now. If you want to play nurse then find someone else."

"Fine, maybe I will!" Kushina stormed out of the house.

Naruto paused for a second before running to the door and opening it. _'I didn't mean to hurt her feelings." _He took a deep breath to apologise, "I didn't…" Naruto started before Kushina pounced on him.

"I can't do it!" Kushina crushed Naruto's head between her breasts. "Only my Naru-chan gets to do those sorts of things to me!" She released her son and ran to the corner of the room that had been miraculously unharmed by Kushina's rage and sat down before the shrine. "I'm sorry Minato-kun… it's not you it's Naruto. He is just _so _much hotter than you. Yes he even beats you there. How do I know? It is a mother's duty to know such things. There's nothing wrong with it! Besides would you rather me let some intergalactic space tramp take our son's first? You would?! Well of course you would! I remember the strange alien cosplay fetish you had!" Kushina turned her back to the shrine. "Well no matter. Tonight I will take Naru-chan's first time!" She started to giggle perversely. If one were to notice it would almost looks as if the shrine was sweat dropping.

"Suddenly I get the feeling I should invest in a lock for my room." Naruto retreated from Kushina never turning his back to her until he was in his room then he turned and froze.

"Hi!" Lala waved. "Do you like my new dress?"

"Gargh." Naruto's brain had actually shut down. She was wearing a long black dressed with a long cut down the legs revealing her things. The dress also left little to the imagination when it came to her breasts. She had her hair curled up and she looked like some sort of glamorous actress looking at him with those loving eyes. He also noticed the bright orange hair clip of a fox in her hair. After managing to reboot his brain he managed to say, "It looks… wow."

"I'm glad you like it!" Lala bounced happily causing a very pleasant sway in her chest. _'I'm glad I asked Momo for help! It was worth the effort of inviting her to Earth!' _

He backed away. "I need to… get a snack." He headed to the kitchen to grab a snack and recollect his mental defences. Bad move.

"Oh Naru-chan," Kushina was wearing an apron and nothing else. "What do you want to eat? A sandwich, a desert or maybe… me?" She dropped the apron revealing her figure. Only a ribbon that would be wrapped around a present hid her most intimate areas from Naruto's view and it looked like that ribbon was awfully tight and could snap at any time. Naruto stood hoping it would before he realised it was his mother (_step mother actually _a new voice in his psyche commented) and he backed away trying to pull his eyes off of her beautiful figure.

"Cold shower." Naruto squeaked before racing towards the bathroom and threw his clothes to the floor before slipping on something and staggering into the already running shower.

'_Hey Naruto… this is your subconscious. I am going to point out two tiny facts to you. One… why was the shower running when you entered the bathroom and two just what is it that you slipped on?' _

Naruto looked down and saw a pair of girl's panties on his foot. _'So that's what I slipped on but… oh hell no.' _

"Oh my," an unfamiliar female voice sounded from behind him. Naruto slowly turned around and saw two girls looking at him. They both looked down at Naruto Junior before one of them covered her eyes.

"Filthy beast!" She yelled. "Are you here to assault us?!" She threw a bar of soap at Naruto who stood dumbfounded as it hit him on the face and bounced off.

"So you are Naruto?" The other smiled.

"Urgh…" Naruto tried not to look at their naked bodies. Keyword tried.

"Gah! Stop staring at me with those hungry eyes!" The one who called him a filthy beast tried to shield her body from his eyes.

"Gargh!" Naruto turned his back to the girls and put both hands on the wall before repeated head-butting the wall until his passed out.

"Momo, Nana are you two finished?" Lala walked in and saw Naruto sliding down the wall into blissful unconsciousness. "No fair!" Lala pouted. "You got to shower with Naruto!"

"SAY WHAT?" Kushina tore into the bathroom. "Oh gods… The Space Succubi are multiplying! I'll save you Naru-chan!" Kushina summoned a chainsaw in each hand. "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" She roared as she chased the three girls around the house.

That night only Naruto got any sleep (if you can count knocking yourself unconscious to suppress your libido sleep). By four o'clock in the morning a truce was called. This lasted exactly six minutes after which Kushina and Lala tried climbing into Naruto's bed. All hell broke loose shortly after.

Momo watched with a smile. It was good to see her Onee-sama so energetic. She had always been so sad and lonely, even when she played with her and Nana back home. She promised herself she would do what she could for Lala. Plus this Naruto had earned papa's interest and in turn her own. She decided she would take this opportunity to test Naruto's feelings for her Onee-sama. She definately wasn't just staying here to avoid doing her studies. Not at all.

There was one fatality this night and it was the chance of Naruto having a normal life.


	6. Chapter 6: It's a Devilukian Thing

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Just a quick note to any Ninja Pirate fans. The next chapter is done and is currently being beta read. It should be uploaded at some point this month.

* * *

Chapter 6: It's a Devilukian thing

Naruto yawned as he made his way to school. He had woken up alone and got dressed only to find Lala and Kushina passed out downstairs. Judging by the state of the living room, Kushina had been chasing her around the house until she had passed out from exhaustion. Lala must have passed out shortly afterwards.

"Man you sound tired."

Naruto jumped out of his skin as he turned to face the speaker. "You! You were in the bathroom last night!"

"That's me! Momo Deviluke at your service," She curtsied with a cheeky smile. "I'm Lala's little sister."

"Er… Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto blushed. "Sorry about last night. I seem to have a habit of meeting devilukian princesses when I am in the shower."

"Oh don't apologise," Momo shook her head. "I should have locked the door last night."

"I wasn't aware that Lala had sisters."

"There is me and my twin sister Nana, she is the one I was in the bathroom with. Sorry about her cruel words."

"Well I guess I did deserve them," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Hardly," Momo shook her head. "I must admit you gave me quite the shock when you charged in there. Was there a reason?"

"Just Lala and my mother," Naruto shrugged, "It's nothing you need to worry about. Just teenage hormones playing up."

"I see," Momo stared into the distance. "Do you love Onee-sama?"

"I… I like her," Naruto sighed. "But to say I love her seems a little far-fetched."

"I see," Momo nodded to herself. "Well I suppose I will see you later Naruto-san. Thank you for looking after my sister."

"What a nice polite girl." Naruto smiled as he continued walking towards school. As usual Haruna met up with him and the two continued walking in silence.

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna glanced at her friend, "You seem… distracted today."

"Yeah," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Lala had her younger sisters come over and I didn't make the best first impression."

"How so?"

"I kind of walking in on them in the shower," Naruto admitted. "I didn't even know they were visiting until I turned around and there they were."

"I see," Haruna chuckled.

"What?"

"I was just thinking, you seem more animated lately. I think Lala is having a positive effect on you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Hmm." Naruto looked ahead.

"By the way," Haruna cleared her throat. "I went shopping yesterday with Lala. She said she was going to buy a dress to celebrate you acknowledging her feelings."

"Gargh," Naruto slapped himself as the image of Lala in the sexy dress threatened to provoke an unwanted biological reaction. "Er… yeah she did. It was… a nice dress. I think she is starting to grow on me."

"I see," Haruna stared ahead.

"Something wrong?" Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts on Lala.

"Oh nothing," Haruna smiled distantly. "By the way… where does Lala live? She mentioned that she would be waiting for you in her new dress so I was wondering if she had access to your house or if you just visited her regularly."

"She… kind of lives with me. In our guest room." Naruto rubbed the back of his head not adding the mental '_but she sleeps in my bed most of the time.' _

"Oh!" Haruna blinked, "I assumed she lived close to you but I never thought she lived with you."

"Didn't I tell you that I had a guest at my house a few days ago?"

"The one you thought had left," Haruna nodded, "I see so that was Lala-san."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"She must be happy." Haruna stared at the sky. "Being able to spend so much time with someone you love…"

"I guess," Naruto smiled. "She always seems so full of life. I just wish I could do something for her. She gives me her love and so far all I really have done is give her a place to stay."

"She was right," Haruna faced Naruto. "You believe she actually loves you."

"She has done nothing to prove otherwise," Naruto responded.

"But you said you haven't known her that long so how can you be sure she loves you?"

"Hang on a second. Just a few days ago you were hoping that I loved this mystery guest. Now you are acting like this. What gives?"

"I…" Haruna shook her head. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Your concern is noted," Naruto replied. "But I am a big boy now. I can take responsibility for my own actions."

"I didn't mean to offend you," Haruna apologised.

"It's okay," Naruto sighed. "I know you are just looking out for me but don't worry." Naruto laughed. "I always land on my feet. No matter what happens I will be okay."

Naruto and Haruna descended into a thoughtful silence as they approached the gates of the school and saw that a crowd had gathered.

"What is going on here?" Naruto muttered as they approached.

"You cannot just come in here and start harassing students!" Yui's voice sounded out over the murmur of the crowd.

"I would not expect one such as you to understand about love!" An unidentified male voice retorted. "I am here to win back the love of my beloved Lala! I do not have time to deal with you. Just reveal to me Naruto Uzumaki's location and I will leave the premises!"

"Well this doesn't sound good," Naruto sighed heavily. "I'll see you in class Sarenji-San. I'd best help Yui-chan out."

"Yui-chan?" Haruna blinked. "I didn't realise the two of you were on such good terms."

"Believe it or not, she is actually a nice person sometimes," Naruto whispered dramatically earning a giggle from Haruna.

"Just try not to get into trouble," Haruna responded as she watched him make his way through the crowd.

"It's like you don't even know me!" Naruto mock pouted before grinning and making his way through the crowd. As he reached the front it was quite clear Yui was reaching the end of her temper and the strange boy was refusing to move.

"I know Naruto Uzumaki is a student here. I will not leave until I have proved my manliness." The boy declared.

"May I ask who you are?" Naruto walked towards the boy.

"I am Ren Elise Jewelria and Lala's future husband." Ren declared proudly.

"I see," Naruto nodded.

"Do you know where I can find this Naruto?" Ren asked.

"I may have an idea," Naruto grinned. "Why I believe I saw him at the end of this street just a matter of minutes ago."

"Why thank you!" Ren shook Naruto's hand. "What does he look like?"

"Oh," Naruto smiled evilly. "He is bald and wears glasses and is fat and seems to exude an aura of perversion."

"Then I shall free Lala from his evil clutches!" Ren declared and raced in the direction that Naruto was pointing.

"Uzumaki-san," Yui nodded at Naruto. "Thank you for your assistance."

"No need to thank me," Naruto smirked. "I saw the principal down that way."

"I see," Yui scowled as she spotted Lala entering the school grounds. "Hey! Deviluke-san. You should inform any suitors of yours that… are you okay you look exhausted? "

"Didn't get any sleep," Lala mumbled as she walked past them. "…Couldn't sleep in Naruto's bed."

"What?" Yui blinked. _'She was in Naruto's bed and couldn't sleep because Naruto kept her awake with his… his… _Yui was unable to finish the thought without blushing crimson and completely misinterpreting Lala's sleepy grumbling.

"Pardon?" Haruna's eyes went wide. _'Can she not sleep unless she's in Naruto's bed? But she has been so lively the past few days which means… her and Naruto are sharing a bed!' _Haruna's interpretation was much closer to home.

"UZUMAKI-SAN!" Yui span around glaring at Naruto. _'To think I actually let him fool me yesterday into believing he was a nice person! I'll bet he was having impure thoughts about me in that maid's outfit… why does that make me feel happy? HE'S CORRUPTING ME!' _

"I didn't do it!" Naruto replied automatically before high tailing it away, Yui rapidly pursuing him.

"YOUR LECHEROUS WAYS PREVENTED LALA FOR SLEEPING AND YOU ARE CORRUPTING ME!"

"WHAT? I AM INNOCENT! MY MOTHER AND LALA WERE LOCKED IN A DEATH BATTLE LAST NIGHT AND THAT'S WHY SHE COULDN'T SLEEP!"

"YOUR LIES AREN'T FOOLING ANYBODY!"

Needless to say, there were quite a few new rumours about Naruto and Yui's relationship started that day and how he was corrupting her.

* * *

Kushina smiled as she made her way out of the shopping centre with carrier bags full of food on her arms. Since Naruto _had _reacted to her last night that meant she had a chance of beating Lala to taking Naruto's first time. Admittedly the fact that her house had apparently become an unofficial Devilukian Embassy was a little unnerving but at least the two sisters had helped repair the house after the mess that was made last night.

Kushina scowled as she recalled the Devilukian twins. Nana seemed innocent enough even if all the young girl had done was call Naruto an animal and a filthy, perverted beast. Momo though… she worried Kushina.

Momo seemed to have an innocent personality but Kushina could sense a darkness inside her. She wondered why the twins were actually here. Lala had said she had asked them for help in winning Naruto's affections but Kushina couldn't help but worry they had alternative motives. After all if they really wanted to help her couldn't they do that over a telephone or whatever technology that have? Why were they so eager to take refuge in her and Naruto's love nest? No… their den of debauchery. Kushina started drooling imagining all the things that they would do. _'Maybe I should do the sexy nurse cosplay tonight. Or maybe the sexy kunoichi… or the monster girl collection of outfits I have! Maybe I should go for a kitsune Youkai or maybe a sexy neko. Oh what games me and Naru-chan will play!' _

So deep in her thoughts Kushina completely failed to notice the small group that were following her.

Sporting bandages and carrying baseball bats, the crew of Sharp Foot Soma tracked their target. After being completely humiliated the first time they thought Naruto then getting blown up as they tried to get their revenge they had come to the conclusion they would get their revenge against Naruto by attacking his precious people. The first target they had selected was Kushina.

They had been tailing her for an hour waiting for her to go to somewhere isolated.

"Damn," Soma growled as they tailed her. "Why won't this woman go somewhere isolated?"

"Er… Boss," One of the minions tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?" Soma span around and froze.

Charging towards them was a fat bald man who was wearing nothing but his underwear being chased by a white haired boy.

"STAY STILL UZUMAKI!" Ren yelled. "I WILL CRUSH YOU!"

"This is good too!" The Principal remarked as he dodged Ren's furious attacks.

The two charged over the panthers leaving them in a trodden pile on the floor.

"Damn it," Soma growled as he staggered to his feet. "I will have my revenge against Naruto Uzumaki!"

"**Oh… is that so?" **Kushina grinned evilly. **"You must be the corpses that have been causing my Naru-chan trouble." **She cracked her knuckles menacingly.

There was a pained cry that sounded out around the entire town.

* * *

Naruto lay on the roof staring at the sky with a happy smile. Lala laid next to him and had quickly drifted off to sleep and rolled over in order to snuggle into his side. Part of him wanted to wake her up in case someone else walked up onto the roof but she looked so cute that Naruto decided he was willing to risk someone seeing them in order to let her catch up on her much needed rest. He lifted a stray strand of hair from her face and couldn't help feeling happy when she smiled and snuggled closer to him.

There was a sudden blood curtling scream but Lala's response was just to snuggle closer to Naruto, who made no move to stop her.

Naruto was glad that Lala was in his life. Sure she made his life a little more hectic but at this point Naruto had accepted the fact he would never have an ordinary life. He seemed to be a weirdness magnet.

"UZUMAKI!"

"Speak of the devil," Naruto groaned as Ren stormed up onto the roof. Luckily he and Lala were out of view but it wouldn't be hard to find him should Ren start searching for him.

"I know you are up here!" Ren growled. "You must think you are so funny sending me after that pervert! Well I got the truth out of him! I know you are in fact a blonde sexual deviant who has his way with many women who cannot help but strip naked around you and you are the envy of men everywhere!"

'_Just who does the principal think I am?" _Naruto thought. _'If is stay quiet maybe he will leave. I don't want to disturb Lala's sleep.'_

"Fine then," Ren declared. "If that's the case then I guess I win."

'_What exactly do you win?' _Naruto thought to himself.

"I am the manlier of the two of us."

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Kenichi appeared at the stairs next to Ren. "The Mighty Manly Action Sage is far superior to you!"

'_Great another loud one,' _Naruto watched as Lala stirred in her sleep but didn't wake up.

"What?"

"You heard me. Why the Manliest Sage is probably in the gym storage area with Lala right now!"

"The bastard!" Ren yelled. "I will prove my manliness to Lala and take her back home with me!"

"I cannot allow you to interfere with the Manliest Action Sage!" Kenichi declared. "I will stall you long enough for him to finish his conquest of Lala!"

"Never!" Ren ran past Kenichi who watched him run by.

"I will keep him occupied master," Kenichi winked in Naruto's general direction before charging after Ren.

'_Kenichi… Thank you.' _He mentally saluted Kenichi and returned his attention to Lala. She was smiling happily.

"I wonder what you are dreaming of." He smiled softly and returned his attention to the sky. Then he froze as he saw a black dot come racing towards him. It got larger and larger until Naruto realised her was staring at spaceship that was roughly the same size as a bungalow. Before he could react a beam of light struck him and teleported him away, leaving his clothes behind which Lala proceeded to snuggle into, enjoying Naruto's scent.

Unlike Lala who was having pleasant dreams about her and Naruto's future children, Naruto was having a far more stressful time. He was currently stood naked in some sort of sandy room with a single beam of light shining on him and in the centre of the room.

"Welcome, Uzumaki-san," A dry female voice called out.

"Hello," Naruto replied. "Could I have some clothes please? I appear to have… lost mine."

"Very well. While the cheap portable teleportation devices that we buy from Deviluke are effective… they do seem to have problems with clothing." There was a bundle of brown robes thrown at him. Naruto pulled them on ignoring the itchy feeling.

"Man, now I look a Jedi or something," He muttered under his breath. "So… who are you?"

"My name is Gaia, Voice of the Clans of the planet Suna." She stepped into centre light. She looked slightly shorter than Naruto but had vivid red hair as well as thick black makeup under her eyes and a tattoo on her forehead that looked like the Japanese character for 'love'. Her skin looked rough as if it were made of sand paper but besides that she could pass for human.

"Nice to meet you," Naruto looked around. "Where am I?"

"You are on board my ship," Gaia remarked. "My sister and brother tell me you can summon water from the sky."

"I'll be completely honest," Naruto glanced around. "That is just how the weather is on Earth. We have rain fairly regularly on most parts of the Earth.

"I see," Gaia seemed in awe of the concept. "To have such a surplus of water must be a welcome relief."

"I guess we are just used to it." Naruto shrugged.

"I will not lie, I was hoping it was a power." Gaia shook her head. "Then it appears you will best serve my people by dying at the hands of my brother. Your blood will provide the Sands of Suna with the nourishment to save my people."

"Ah," Naruto frowned. "No chance of talking you out of that then?"

"No," Gaia shook her head. "I will do what I must for my people. Unfortunately If I kill you that would invalidate the agreement between Gid-sama and I. My brother will come for you shortly. When he finds you, may you die with honour." Gaia clicked her fingers and Naruto found himself back on the roof, once again naked.

"Well… that happened," Naruto was too deep in thought to register the sound of the door to the roof top opening, "And what does she mean an agreement with Gid? Did he choose Kankuro personally to try and kill me?"

"Who is up here? It is nearly time for classes," Yui paused as she saw Naruto naked stood over a sleeping Lala.

"I honestly have a good explanation for this," Naruto laughed uneasily.

"And that is?" Yui asked in a voice strangely devoid of emotion.

"I was abducted by aliens that think I have power to summon rain to their desert planet but their teleporter only transfers living material and after learning I couldn't help them they sent me back." Naruto replied honestly.

"I am going to give you time to get dressed." Yui stated emotionlessly.

"Why thank y…"

"So that when I am chasing you," Yui interrupted in the same cold tone. "People won't get the wrong idea."

"… Thanks." Naruto sighed.

Lala merely rolled over in her sleep with a happy sigh.

* * *

Naruto suddenly woke up with a start. Yui had chased him all over the school yelling at him for indecent behaviour and exposing himself resulting in an very tired Naruto. He had hoped to sleep through the lecture on the reactive properties of group one metals where teacher was trying to keep them interested by dropping small blocks into some water. Big wow, it fizzled a little bit. Now there would be no way he could get back to sleep and judging by the clock there was still half an hour to go before the end of the day. How he wished for a distraction...

"UZUMAKI!" Ren kicked the door to the classroom open. "Ah… Lala-sama! We are united at long last. I remain ever your devoted slave. Come with me and I will take you away from this place. Back to the home we once shared, to the place where our love first blossomed and I swore to become the man that you would one day marry. I come with your father's blessings!"

Naruto froze. _'Is this guy really that close to Lala?' _He scowled at the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as he waited for Lala's response.

"Er… who are you?" Lala asked.

There was a dead silence in the class as Ren staggered backwards looking heartbroken. A silence that was broken by a strange noise, like someone trying not to laugh and failing.

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna noticed that Naruto's shoulders were shaking.

"I'm sorry," Naruto wheezed out. "But after all that drama… she doesn't even know who he is!" Naruto let out a hearty laugh before muttering, "I don't know what I was so worried about."

"I see," Ren glared at Naruto. "You have brainwashed my fair Lala!"

"Listen," Naruto grinned, "I don't know what your issue is but I am trying to have a chemistry lesson here."

"Uzumaki-san you fell asleep for most of the lesson," The teacher remarked dryly.

"I said trying," Naruto admitted. "I may have not been entirely successful but I was at least trying. That's got to count hasn't it?"

"Yes," The teacher deadpanned. "You get an A for effort."

"Woohoo! My first A on a report card." Naruto cheered.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Ren growled. "I challenge you for Lala's hand in marriage."

"Denied," Naruto crossed his arms. "Lala's love isn't some sort of prize to be gambled away."

"Naruto," Lala beamed at Naruto and several girls whispered about how romantic he was being.

"What?" Ren looked shocked.

"If you truly loved Lala you would respect her decision and let her live how she wants." Naruto walked up to Ren and put a hand on his shoulder. "That is what it means to be a man. To feel true love is to let them go if that is what they want."

"Quick!" Kenichi yelled. "Pass me a pencil and paper. THIS MUST BE RECORDED! The Mighty Sage is passing down masculine wisdom onto us!" There was the scratching of pencils as the entire male population of the class minus Naruto and Ren started writing down Naruto's words.

"If only they were that eager to write lecture notes huh?" Risa remarked to the teacher, "Wait… are you writing that down as well?!"

"It's a good piece of advice that might help me score with someone," The teacher admitted without any sign of remorse. "Plus Uzumaki-san has a harem. He knows what it means to be a man."

"I see," Ren fought back tears. "You speak wisely! I will be the better man and leave her to her own life. Thus winning my bet with her that she would marry me if I became a better man and thus she must return home with me!"

"You are completely missing the point," Naruto sighed.

"So should I stop trying to make you fall in love with me?" Lala looked upset. "Would that be the right thing to do? Would that be what I should do if I truly love you?"

"You are not a man," Kenichi earned himself another metaphorical medal from Naruto, "Your love is pure and undistracted unlike a man's. That is why a man must let the woman follow her path, for he can never truly know if his love is true or just his libido! Women are pure beings and as thus have no such problems in identifying true love!"

"What he said," Naruto agreed.

"QUICK MY PENCIL BROKE!" Kenichi wailed, "How can I record this sagely advice!"

"Er… you were the one who just said it," Naruto deadpanned. "And isn't that a mechanical pencil. If it breaks you can just extend it further."

"But it was just words until you validated it with your acknowledgement!" Kenichi wailed. "And I am to overcome with emotion to carry out complicated tasks like operating a mechanical pencil!"

"I can't remember the last time we actually learnt anything in a lesson," Risa idly commented to Haruna who nodded with a smile.

"Enough!" Ren glared at Naruto. "I see you are trying to confuse me with words! Well it will not work! I swear that I will prove my manliness to you now!"

"Take 'em off!" Mio cried out.

"Pardon?" Ren paused.

"Aren't you going to 'flourish your sword'?" The Yaoi fanatic drooled. "And challenge Naruto to a 'Sword Fight' to prove who is the manliest?"

"A good suggestion," Ren nodded.

"You are completely missing the subtext of what she was saying," Naruto responded with a sigh.

"But I am completely in favour of seeing Naruto's 'sword'!" Risa raised a hand.

"You mean the bokuto that he owns?" Lala looked puzzled.

"You are so innocent Lala," Risa laughed. "I was talking about his manhood. You know. His 'thing'."

"Oh," Lala smiled, "I know what you mean. I've seen it but I don't understand how you would have a fight with it."

"Well I've got some reading material for you-urk!" Mio was dragged back as Risa pulled her by the collar.

"That aside," Risa blinked, "You have seen Naruto naked?"

"Oh yes," Lala smiled. "When we first met we were in a shower together."

"WWWHHHAATTT?!" The class cried out.

"I thought you said you first met when Naruto defeated the thugs who were forcing you to marry someone you didn't want to?!" Risa blinked, "How'd a shower get involved?"

"Well…" Lala blushed. Fortunately before she could go into Naruto's unintentional groping Ren found his voice.

"I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!" He roared furiously before conjuring a sword from thin air. "Prepare to meet your maker!"

"What?" Naruto blinked and the class murmured about where the sword had come from.

"There is only one true test of manliness!" Ren declared. "A fight to the death!"

"Now don't you think you are going too far?" Naruto asked.

"Well you can always surrender and give up your claim to Lala." Ren stated.

"My 'claim'?" Naruto growled. "You speak as if Lala is an item! So long as I draw breath people like you will never have a say in Lala's future. She chooses her own path!"

"Naruto…" Lala seemed on the verge of tears as she clasped her hands together and looked at Naruto lovingly.

"Then die for my and Lala's happiness!" Ren lunged at Naruto who grabbed the sword in a glowing blue hand. Whisker marks appeared on his face.

"So long as there is breath in my body," Naruto growled, "I will protect Lala's happiness. So long as I can move, I will make sure she is always happy." He turned to Lala. "Do you want to be with this guy?"

"No," Lala beamed, "I love you Naruto!"

"There you have it," Naruto turned to hit Ren but stopped as the man was blubbering. "Er… Really?" His aura faded. "I kind of feel bad for you now."

"Oh I remember you!" Lala clapped her hands as Ren started crying. "Cry baby Ren! I used to dress you up as a girl back home!"

"I'm not a cry baby anymore! I'm a real man now!" Ren said between tears.

"Er…" Naruto felt sorry for Ren. He imagined how he'd have felt if he'd been in Ren's shoes and it was Rito and Haruna rather than him and Lala. Deciding to give the guy a break he said, "Only a real man could show his true feelings like that."

"So you accept that I am manlier than you?" Ren asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"No," Naruto smirked. "But maybe in time you will be."

"I see…" Ren clenched his fist. "In order to become a true man… I will study under you sensei!" Ren bowed to Naruto. "Until I am worthy of your love, I will not bother you anymore." Ren bowed to Lala. "I apologise for interrupting your class." Ren bowed to the teacher and the rest of the students. "Till we meet again!" He left the classroom.

"Getting back to the lecture," The teacher started.

"Wait Ren, can't we drag this out a little longer?" Naruto yelled. "Ren? Please?"

"Back to your seat Uzumaki-san." The teacher cleared his throat.

Naruto did so. If only there was another distraction… He glanced at the door to the classroom hoping to see some killer drones or a weird alien assassin.

Nothing happened.

"Figures," Naruto muttered as he laid his head on the desk.

* * *

Soma dragged himself to the door of Uzumaki's house. While they weren't able to defeat his mother (and in fact had been severely thrashed by the red headed Demoness) they had come up with a plan to get revenge on Naruto without exposing themselves to danger. They would rob his house. According to their data the house had three residents, Naruto and Lala who were at school and Kushina who was trying to find somewhere to bury the minions that Soma had sacrificed in order to help the others to escape. This meant the house was empty and thus should pose no problem to the brave few panthers that remained.

It should be said at this point that Soma and his crew are basically the punching bags of this story. Of course the house wasn't empty.

The Devilukian twins were sat watching TV and idly wasting time.

"How long until Chichi-ue sends someone to collect us?" Nana asked her sister who was staring into space.

"He's probably already sent a request to Zastin," Momo replied.

"I don't like this Naruto," Nana declared. "He walked in on us in the shower! Did you see his eyes?!"

"Yes… they were like a hungry beasts…" Momo drooled slightly. "I'll bet Naruto has ravished Onee-sama and she can't leave him knowing no man could ever satisfy her again!"

"Your mask is slipping," Nana deadpanned.

"Keh," Momo collected herself. "Well it was you who wanted to leave our studies and do something entertaining."

"Gah! Trying to act like the good one! How underhanded," Nana glared at her twin before smirking in a smug fashion. "But I can understand it."

"Oh?" Momo looked at Nana.

"After all," Nana laughed, "I am the superior twin! You must be so jealous of me!"

"**IS THAT SO?" **Momo's face turned evil. "**You are the 'superior' one?" **She grabbed Nana's tail causing the younger girl to gasp. "**Let's see just **_**how **_**superior you are!" **Momo smirked as she began to stroke and lick Nana's tail.

"N…No fair… my... Tail's off… limits…" Nana moaned.

"**Just admit that I am the greater twin." **Momo smirked

"Never!" Nana desperately grasped Momo's tail prompting a gasp from the plant loving twin.

"Ah!" Momo gasped. "Let…. Go…"

"You… first…" Nana replied.

The two managed to break apart and stood panting, glaring at each other.

"That was dirty," Momo remarked.

"You started it," Nana growled.

"**And now I am ending it," **Her dark expression returned as she pulled a phone like device out of nowhere. "**Oops. Looks like I accidentally summoned Shibarisuki-san in face up attack position." **The Uzumaki living room soon found itself destroyed as a tree that looked fresh out of a horror movie appeared which proceeded to wrap its vines around Nana's leg and lifted her up into the air.

"Aaah!" She flailed around trying to stop some of the tentacles that were getting a little too friendly for her taste before pulling out her own phone. "Let's see how you like this! Giga Wild Boar, Gii-chan! Use Take Down!"

"GIIIIIII!" A giant bore that was larger than a polar bear appeared and charged the giant Halloween tree demolishing the Uzumaki house as the two alien creatures began to fight.

"What the hell is going on here?" Soma blinked as the two monsters paused and turned their attention towards his crew.

"Bro…" One of the panthers started to speak before he was whisked up into the air by a vine. "I NEED AN ADULT!" The unfortunate panther screamed.

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING ?" Soma ran away tears streaming down his face as 'Gii-chan' charged after him. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS NEIGHBOURHOOD?!"

"Oops." Momo looked at the ruins that was once Naruto's house and turned to Nana. "This is your fault I hope you realise."

"What?" Nana blinked.

"It was your 'Gii-chan' who destroyed the house." Momo replied honestly. "And I think it chased after some humans."

"Well it was your tree creature that ruined the living room," Nana pouted. "And I'm pretty sure it is getting too touchy feely with the human it has wrapped in his vines."

"I THINK I AM DEVELOPING A NEW FETISH!" The unlucky panther yelled in ecstasy.

"… All humans are perverts," Nana glared.

"Haven't you ever thought of doing something ecchi with someone?" Momo asked.

"Bah! You should only do s-stuff like t-that when you are m-m-married!" Nana squeaked out.

"How cute…" Momo patted Nana on her head. "It is plain to see who the mature one of us is."

"STOP BRINGING YOUR BOOBS INTO THIS!" Nana fumed before grapping Momo's tail and starting the fight all over again.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he left the classroom with Lala.

"So about this Ren guy," Naruto looked at Lala, "You really didn't remember him?"

"He was always crying back home," Lala admitted. "I didn't recognise him without his tears."

"… And yet you still dressed him up in women's clothes?" Naruto started to feel a little bad for Ren.

"He looks really cute in them," Lala looked thoughtful, "And he always agreed to do it so I didn't really understand why he cried."

"Probably didn't want to do it but it was the only way he could think of getting your attention," Naruto remarked. "And what's this of a promise to marry him?"

"Well…" Lala looked embarrassed, "I have no recollection of ever making such an important promise. Not that I have to worry about it."

"How so?" Naruto turned to face Lala.

"Because you won't let him take me away." Lala beamed happily at him.

"You sound awfully confident." Naruto frowned.

"Of course I am!" Lala laughed. "After all didn't you say you were going to fight Papa because he was interfering in our marriage? If you are not scared of the strongest living being in the universe then how is a cry baby like Ren ever going to defeat you?"

"Just because I am willing to fight him doesn't mean I am physically capable of defeating him." Naruto shook his head. "I am only human after all."

"You managed to catch his sword strike," Lala pointed out. "You were able to use that glowing blue power again although no-one else seemed to notice," She looked thoughtful, "Maybe only Devilukians can see the glowing aura though. Ren didn't seem to react to it and none of the other students did either."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled softly. "I think I know what I have to do to draw on its power."

"And what's that?" Lala asked happily.

"It's a secret," Naruto grumbled. The last thing he needed Lala to know was that it was the fact he wanted to protect her that allowed him to use that power. It looked like what Bunta had said was true. Strength only came when you were fighting for someone else.

"Muu…" Lala pouted cutely. "I was hoping you'd say something like… 'My love for you gave me this power!'"

"My love for you?" Naruto shook his head. "Life tends not to be so romantic. Besides I like you but I don't love you at least not yet." Naruto grinned at her.

"But I won't give up making you love me." Lala proclaimed.

Naruto was about to reply when he recalled Lala's words to him not so long ago.

"_Does it hurt when you think of her not loving you back?" _

He froze.

"Naruto?" Lala looked worried.

"It's nothing," Naruto laughed weakly. _'Do I actually love her? I mean just look at how I felt when I thought that Ren was taking her away. Is that love?' _Naruto glanced at Lala who was happily walking beside him. She noticed his look and smiled at him. He smiled back before looking forward. _'I… can't possibly be falling in love with her can I? My feelings for Haruna shouldn't be so easily replaced…" _He frowned at the thought. _'Even now it still hurts when I think of Haruna… so how can I feel the same about Lala?'_

"Are you okay?" Lala looked concerned.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "I feel a little strange."

"Are you ill?" Lala looked worried. "Quick to the nurse's office!"

"I doubt she is in," Naruto shook his head and Lala pulled him to go with her. Naruto tried to resist but he remembered something very important just a moment too late. Lala was a Devilukian. Devilukians were _really _strong. He was human. Humans were much, much weaker. When she pulled, things stayed pulled. In this case Naruto's arm was pulled out of its socket and Lala and Naruto looked at the now dislocated arm.

"… I suppose now I have to go to the nurse's office." Naruto replied dryly.

"Sorry," Lala looked horrified and lead the way to the nurses' office constantly apologising.

When they entered Mikado took one look at his arm and told him to lie down on the bed, asking Lala to wait outside. She removed his shirt despite Naruto's protests in order to 'Get a good look at Naruto. And maybe the injury as well if she had time.'

"My, my." Mikado poked the arm. "That is well and truly dislocated. How'd you do that?"

"… I fell down some stairs?" Naruto offered.

"Here's some advice," Mikado smiled as she grabbed Naruto's arm. "If a Devilukian woman tells you to do something you do it."

"Wait... How do you know…?" Naruto's question was cut short by her putting his arm back in its socket.

"And done," Mikado winked as she walked to one side. "I have some other checks to make if that's okay."

"That hurt! Aren't you supposed to give me some sort of warning?" Naruto groaned. "And you said Devilukian!"

"That's right," Mikado smiled. "Let's just say there are quite a few aliens around these parts and they needed a doctor so I moved her to help them. I am an alien by the way," She showed him her pointed ears before concealing them in her hair again.

"Oh…" Naruto wasn't sure what else to say. "That's nice."

"That's it?" Mikado laughed, "I was expecting at least an annoyed 'How many of you damn aliens are there?' or maybe even a 'You as well Mikado-sensei?'"

"I feel like I could make a very bad pun about your figure but I think I'll let it pass."

"Oh?" Mikado raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"I figured you were from outer space because your body is out of the world." Naruto said in a complete deadpan.

"You know if you'd have said that in a flirty way I might have let you touch my breasts." Mikado adjusted her cleavage.

"How have you not been fired from this job for sexual harassment? Oh wait. I just remembered who the principal is." Naruto sighed as he moved his arm around.

"It will be sore for a while," Mikado warned. "Now let me have a look at you."

Naruto stood up and tried not to blush as Mikado walked around him eyeing him up like a piece of steak.

"Nice muscle definition," She remarked.

"Thanks," Naruto looked around uneasily. "Is this really necessary?"

"You interest me Uzumaki," Mikado replied. "The number of times I have seen you in here with bad injuries yet seem to recover almost instantly. It's as if you are super human."

"Well I can do some sort of transformation apparently." Naruto replied. "I have a weird blue glowing aura that I use when I fight apparently."

"An aura?" Mikado blinked. "A human can't have an aura."

"Well… what is this then?" Naruto focused on his precious people and felt the invigorating energy rush through him.

"What are these?" Mikado whispered whilst gentling running her finger across his chest. While she couldn't see any aura she could see strange tattoos suddenly appear on Naruto's stomach and arms.

"What are what?" Naruto asked.

"You have strange markings on your stomach and arms." Mikado pulled out a sheet of paper and began sketching them. "I am not entirely sure what they are. They appear to be some sort of limitation program."

"Limitation program?" Naruto blinked.

"Basically you have nano-bots in your body doing something," Mikado muttered. "There markings on your chest are like a circuit board telling the nano-bots what to do. I've never seen such a complicated design as the one on your stomach. The ones on your arms are interesting but I think I could hazard a guess as to their purpose." She ran a hand through Naruto's hair, "Interesting… you appear to have one on your head as well. It is hidden under your hair. I would have to shave your head to get a good look at that."

Naruto glanced at a mirror with a scowl. His eyes seemed bluer than normal and he seemed to have six whisker like markings on his face but he couldn't see what Mikado was talking about.

"You won't be able to see them," Mikado advised. "These programs were designed to be invisible to humans. Don't worry I have no intention of shaving your head. Besides a program like that is probably either some sort of memory modifier or brain control."

"Memory modifier?" Naruto scowled. "Could it be causing me to forget things?"

"Possibly," Mikado shrugged. "I can't say for certain. I focused more on healing people. I know very little about nano-bot modification."

"You said you could hazard a guess to the markings on my arms?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Mikado nodded. "They appear to be strength limiters that tie into the seal on your chest. Should the seal falter the seals on your arms should drain all your strength. If I am reading the program correctly the seals on your arms could make a Devilukian about as strong as the average human. Someone really is scared of what you might do."

"Who though?"

Mikado chewed the end of her pen. "Isn't that the question? The program on your chest looks vaguely Devilukian but the other programs are just generic ones."

"Could Lala have put them on me?" Naruto asked, aware of her genius.

"Unlikely," Mikado shook her head. "Unless she met you nine years ago."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"Those programs have been on you at least nine years judging by the degradation." Mikado remarked.

"Nine years?" Naruto scowled. "I didn't even know about aliens that long ago!"

"Well they clearly knew about you," Mikado looked thoughtful. "Did anything happen nine years ago?"

"I think my dad died…" Naruto scowled. "Or was that eleven years ago?"

"You can't remember?" Mikado raised an eyebrow.

"I think…eleven years ago me and my mum was robbed?" Naruto scowled as his head started to hurt. "Dad had died before then. Two years later my dad was murdered when… no that can't be right."

"Naruto?" Mikado grabbed him. "Stop trying to remember! The program on your head is responding!"

"But… how can he have murdered two years after he died?!" Naruto grabbed his head as the pain became unbearable.

"NARUTO!" Mikado slapped him to no avail. "Stop thinking about it! The program on your head is reacting strangely!"

"I…" A small trickle of blood dropped from his nose and he passed out.

_Naruto stared tears in his eyes as his father lay in the broken ruins of their house, a gaping hole in his chest. He tried to stem the blood flow with his bloody hands but failed. _

"_Daddy!" Naruto's eyes widened as his father smiled weakly, blood dribbling from his mouth._

"_This… this isn't your fault…" Minato coughed weakly. _

"_Now do mommy a favour and die." A cheerful voice that sounded smooth like chocolate whispered in his ear and then he felt a shooting pain in his chest and… _

"ARGH!" Naruto shot up panting and looking around. "What… where?" He glanced out of the window and saw that the sun was setting. "Right… the nurse's office." He rubbed his head and saw Lala sat on a chair next to him looking at him worriedly, although as soon as he turned to look at her she broke eye contact.

"Lala?" Naruto frowned.

"I'm sorry." Lala's voice was hoarse. "I hurt you."

"Oh that?" Naruto scowled as he tried to recall what he was thinking about before he saw Lala. _'Can't have been important.' _He decided with a shrug. "It doesn't matter."

"I didn't think…" Lala sobbed softly. "I never really thought things through but humans are much, _much _weaker than Devilukians and amongst Devilukians my strength is impressive. I suppose I am a monster to you… I completely upturned your life and never gave you a choice in the matter. It may only be a dislocated arm now but what if we have an argument and I lash out? What if a really strong assassin comes and kills you… I couldn't live in a world where you died…"

"Lala…" Naruto reached out to comfort her but she batted his hand away. "Where's this come from?"

"Please don't," Lala wiped some the tears from her face. "If you are kind to me… that will just make this harder." She pulled a strange gun from nowhere. "This is the memory-eraser I invented. After I use this you won't even remember me. I'll make everyone forget about me. This way you won't get hurt again. I'll make everything right again." She pointed the gun at Naruto. "I'll never forget you, my one true love." She pulled the trigger and Naruto fell back into the bed.

"Farewell," Lala put the gun away. "I'll leave with Ren and you can have your life back. It was fun while it lasted," Lala started to walk away.

"Idiot!" Naruto roared.

"What?" Lala pulled out the gun, "Why didn't it…"

"You say that you never gave me a choice and then pull this stunt?!" Naruto grit his teeth and got out of the bed. He felt a strange draft but that wasn't important right now. "Why not give me a choice now? ASK ME!"

"N…Naruto…" Lala whispered. "D… Do you…"

"Spit it out!" Naruto ordered

"Do you want me to leave you?" Lala yelled through her tears. _'If he says yes… I don't think I could carry on…' _

"HELL NO!" Naruto roared and grabbed her in a bear hug, feeling her breasts against his naked chest. "So what if my life is in danger? I laugh in the face of danger! So what if I can't be with Haruna? You being here has had no impact on that so why should you leaving change things there? I will get stronger. I will defeat _any _assassin that comes after me and when it is all over… well we'll just have to see won't we?" Naruto raised her chin so she was looking him in the eyes. "After all, didn't you say you were going to make me love you? Didn't you say we were going to get married? Didn't you say that _no matter what I said _you would make me love you?!" Naruto grinned at her, "Well I didn't have you down as a quitter!"

"But you might get hurt…" Lala started.

"If I get hurt I can heal!" Naruto replied dismissively. "But if you think that removing my memories of you will make my life better, all you'll be doing is giving a wound that won't heal that I don't fully understand! Don't you understand? You are a precious person to me!"

"Naruto…" Lala's eye widened.

"So do me a favour," Naruto whispered. "Don't cry from sadness. It hurts me to see you cry."

"I…" Lala sobbed.

"Promise me," Naruto held out his pinkie finger. "Promise you'll never do something as stupid as wiping my memories and leaving me."

"I promise," She completed the pinkie promise, "I promise I will never leave you. I will stand by you forever."

"Good," Naruto released Lala from the hug. "Because between you and me, I think you may be making some progress."

"Really?" Lala looked as if her birthday, Christmas (or the Devilukian equivalent) and any other big holidays had all come at once.

"Maybe," Naruto smiled. "But you've still got a long way to…"

He was silenced by Lala kissing him. It wasn't a deep kiss nor was it a long one. Just a quick peck on the lips but both Naruto and Lala felt as if a surge of electricity had gone through them when their lips connected.

"Lala…" Naruto stared into her eyes.

"Naruto..." Lala muttered.

"That was... wow." Naruto chuckled.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help myself," Lala blushed.

"Don't apologise…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. The two stood in a comfortable silence when suddenly the door was ripped open.

"**No… don't apologise," **a demonic voice cut killed the romantic mood. "**JUST DIE YOU PINK HAIRED ALIEN SUCCUBI!" **

"Mother?" Naruto blinked as he saw a glaring Kushina cracking her knuckles. Momo and Nana were there also. Momo staring at him strangely and Nana covering her eyes with her hands and blushing red.

"Oh my," Momo smiled. "I see you and Onee-sama are getting along well."

"You saw the kiss?" Naruto blinked.

"**You…kissed…" **Kushina staggered as if she'd been punched.

"If you hadn't seen that then why would you think…?"

"You're kind of naked," Momo informed him.

"MIKADO-SENSEI!" He yelled as he tried to cover his goods. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn't realised.

"GIVE YOUR MOMMY A NAKED KISS TOO!" Kushina roared as she chased after a naked Naruto leaving a blushing Lala with her sisters.

"Is the wild beast gone?" Nana asked.

"Yes," Momo nodded. "I see you are making progress Onee-sama."

"Hai," Lala smiled warmly. "I am lucky to have found my true love! I hope you girls are as lucky."

"Yes," Momo replied distantly. She had arrived long before Nana and Kushina and had witnessed pretty much the entire conversation and Naruto had defied her expectations. The passion behind his words to Lala had awoken something in Momo. She wanted someone to speak to her with such passion as he held her close against his chest, his passionate eyes staring into the depths of her soul and accepting her for being her before ravishing her body and introducing her to pleasures she had never even dreamed of. She twiddled her hair thoughtfully. "Say Onee-sama… does he know that he will become the heir to the empire if he marries you?"

"I have mentioned it a few times."

"And does he know what responsibilities he will have?"

"I think so," Lala nodded. "Why?"

"No reason," Momo glanced in the direction Naruto had run off in. "No reason at all. I think I should get to know our future brother-in-law a little better."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Lala agreed.

"It does?" Nana glanced at her two sisters. "But won't papa send some to take us home?"

"Maybe," Momo smiled, "But I am sure that Uzumaki-san would be willing to talk to Papa for us. After all I heard he was able to convince Papa for Lala's sake."

"Really?" Nana scoffed, "That beast was able to convince Papa?"

"Yes... That _beast _of a man," Momo smiled as she began to work out the details in her head. This could be _very _interesting.

"He is really something special." Lala smiled. "There are quite a few Earth women who like him too though..." Lala looked sad. "And Naruto doesn't want to hurt them."

"He does know that polygamy is accepted and in the case of the emperor encouraged right?"

"He believes in monogamy," Lala sighed, "Oh well let's go home."

"Okay Ane-ue," Nana followed Lala unaware of the expression on Momo's face.

"He believes in monogamy huh," Momo twirled her hair around her finger, "Challenge accepted."

"Why did I get a shiver down my spine just now?" Naruto wondered as he ran around the school grounds, his mother in close pursuit.

"STOP RUNNING AND JUST HAVE SEX WITH YOUR STEP-MOTHER DAMMIT!" Kushina growled as she gained ground on him only to be tripped up by a new contestant. A female who had been cleaning her classroom diligently when she heard someone running around the school after hours. And because the world loves screwing with Naruto there was only ever going to be one person who that was.

"UZUMAKI! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AROUND NAKED?! AND WHO IS THIS IMMORAL WOMAN CHASING YOU?" Yui Kotegawa growled. _'Only I get to chase Naruto!' _She chased after Naruto leaping over the fallen Kushina, who merely yelled expletives and resumed her own chase of the blonde haired protagonist.

"How can this get any worse?" Naruto bemoaned.

"GIIIIII!"

"…WHERE THE HELL DID THIS GIANT BOAR COME FROM?!" Naruto roared with tears in his eyes. "Why does the world keep messing with me?"

"I feel your pain bro." Soma pried open the boars mouth and nodded at his brother in suffering before getting swallowed by the boar again.


	7. Chapter 7: Behold Excalibur

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Well the poll isn't helping me decide with Haruna in or out of the Harem at all. She has exactly 50% of the votes as of the time I wrote this A/N.

Nothing much to add here. Some plot development and Naruto encounters a few of the Love Ru canon antagonists.

Poll Results

Total Voters: 266

1) Yui Kotegawa ** 233** [7%]

2) Kushina Uzumaki **231** [7%]

3) Lala Satalin Deviluke **229** [7%]

4) Momo Belia Deviluke **226** [7%]

5) Golden Darkness (Yami) **209** [6%]

6) Risa Momioka** 207** [6%]

7) Mikan Yuuki **198** [6%]

8) Ryouko Mikado **191** [6%]

9) Nana Astar Deviluke **186** [5%]

10) Kyouko Kirisaki **152** [4%]

11) Rin Kujou **142** [4%]

12) Saki Tenjouin **141** [4%]

13) Run Elsie Jewelria (Ren's female side) **140** [4%]

14) Naruko Uzumaki (Fem Naruto) **125** [3%]

15) Haruna Sarenji **125** [3%]

16) Riko Yuuki (Fem Rito) **104** [3%]

17)Oshizu **104** [3%]

18) Mio Sawada **96** [3%]

19 Aya Fujisaki **90** [2%]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or To Love Ru. This is a non-profit tribute/parody. If people paid me to write this the updates would probably be more regular. But then the copywrite police would kick my arse.

* * *

Chapter 7: Behold Excalibur!

Naruto yawned as he walked to school, Lala hanging off of his arm and beaming. Last night had been exhausting. After finally convincing his mother and Yui to stop chasing him he had finally gotten dressed and made his way back home, only to find his house was completely destroyed and Lala's sisters looking especially guilty. While the Devilukians repaired the Uzumaki house Zastin had offered the sleeping quarters of his ship to Naruto and Kushina. The military style single beds meant that neither his mother nor Lala could climb into his bed (Not for lack of trying though). As such Naruto managed to wake up feeling refreshed for the first time in a while.

Lala shared his good mood, still riding on the emotional high from yesterday. His mother however claimed she was low on 'Son' power and needed intense amounts of physical contact to recharge her batteries. The last Naruto had seen of her she was fighting Zastin's minions who were trying to stop her using a high powered laser to cut through the security door Naruto had requested on the shower whilst he was showering.

"Good morning Uzumaki-san, Lala-san," Haruna smiled politely at the two.

"Sarenji-san," Naruto waved cheerfully with his free arm.

"Haruna-chan!" Lala released Naruto and ran up to her. "Good morning!"

"It is isn't it," Haruna smiled at Lala's easy going nature. "You seem happy this morning."

"Oh…" Lala blushed, "Well last night… Naruto and I…"

"What?" Haruna tilted her head.

"We kissed!" Lala let out a strange high pitched squeal.

"You… kissed?" Haruna blinked stupidly. "I… really?" She turned to her childhood friend.

"Well I suppose it would be more accurate to say she kissed me." Naruto confirmed.

"I see." Haruna smiled strangely. "Good for you."

"Thanks," Lala hugged Naruto's arm and walked beside him again.

"You two certainly look like a happy couple now."

"We do?" Naruto blinked. "But we aren't a couple… are we?"

"Muuu." Lala pouted cutely, "You take a girl's first kiss but don't take responsibility?"

"It was a kiss," Naruto shook his head, "It wasn't as if I got you pregnant! Besides you kissed me."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna scolded Naruto, "A girl's first kiss is very important!"

"It is?" Naruto blinked.

"Hai," Lala nodded, crossing her arms. "I can only have one first kiss you know?"

"I guess that is true…" Naruto scowled. "But surely you kissed your dad or mom before?"

"They don't count," Lala shook her head.

"Somehow I feel if you asked my mother she'd say they do count," Naruto muttered under his breath.

The group travelled in silence to the school. Naruto was deep in thought trying to work out just what his relationship was with Lala. Haruna was wondering what to make of the change in Naruto and Lala's relationship and Lala was simply enjoying Naruto not trying to make her let go of his arm. The group were largely unaware of the many sets of eyes watching them and gossiping. One such pair of eyes belonged to a certain star pitcher (and closet pervert) of Sainan High.

As they entered the school Naruto caught a baseball that had been thrown at him with impressive accuracy.

"Wow!" Lala applauded.

"Uzumaki-san, are you alright?" Haruna asked.

"Fine," Naruto smiled. "You two head on to class. I have to return this ball to its owner." The girls nodded and Lala lead the way, chatting loudly to Haruna. Naruto narrowed his eyes and locked onto the culprit.

"Motemitsu-teme," Naruto growled as he threw the ball in the air and caught it.

"Uzumaki," Motemitsu smirked cockily. "How did a second rate thug like you get a girl like that?"

"OOOH! Just like Motemitsu-sempai! Not hiding his jealousy at being unable to get a girlfriend!" his fellow baseball players remarked.

"It's called a personality," Naruto retorted, "Maybe you should try and develop one."

"AAAH! As expected of the Manly Sage!" The baseball minions remarked, "Not backing down in the interests of his harem!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked. "Have you guys been talking to Kenichi or something?"

"We are eagerly awaiting volume 6 of 'Manly Quotes of the Manly Action Sage."

"… Kenichi is actually turning what I say into books?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "It's one thing to quote me it is another thing to be me."

"SUCH SAGELY ADVICE!"

"Anyway…" Naruto decided to ignore Motemitsu's minions. "Why do you care about Lala anyway?"

"Tch," Motemitsu scoffed, "You should just let that cute transfer student date me."

"If she had any interest in you I'd let her date you." Naruto remarked as he spun the baseball on his finger. "Okay that's a blatant lie. I would never be cruel enough to let any girl date you." He threw the ball with a little bit of his aura power at Motemitsu who caught it and tried to hide his flinch as the pain of the ball hitting him.

"Alright then I challenge you to a contest!" Motemitsu declared as he threw a baseball bat to Naruto. "If you can hit my super special high speed blitzing pitch then I will accept defeat but if I win you will hand Lala over to me."

"OOOH! He is indeed Motemitsu-sempai! Such a one sided deal!"

"Denied," Naruto shook his head as he caught the bat. "I don't gamble with the feelings of the people I care about!"

"It isn't as if you love the girl is it?"

"Love her… well I guess I might…" Naruto was deep in thought.

"And if you cannot hit this pitch Lala-chan is all mine!" Motemitsu pitched towards the distracted Naruto who hit it back on reflex. The ball shot straight back at the pitcher and smashed into his face knocking him clean out.

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai… complete washout." His minions left him on the floor and went to class.

"I mean would it be so bad if I did love her?" Naruto rested the bat on his shoulder. "I mean she loves me right? And Sarenji said she'd prefer us to be friends… GARGH! Why do I still feel as if I am betraying her?!"

"UZUMAKI-SAN!"

"… Yui-chan," Naruto sighed and slowly turned to face a glaring Yui.

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed before returning to her previous rage. "Why are you going around beating up students?"

"I'm not." Naruto paused to take in the fact he was holding a baseball bat and there was an unconscious student out cold on the floor. "That was self-inflicted. He threw a ball at me when I was distracted and I hit the ball back at him. Hitting him was completely accidental."

"Like I'd believe such an obvious lie!" Yui scowled. "As punishment you will be cleaning out the PE equipment storage room after school!"

"Do you even have the power to do that?" Naruto asked. "Actually you are a cute girl. You could probably get the principal to give you unlimited power."

"C…Cute?" Yui turned crimson. "Y… You can't distract me with flattery!" Yui tried not to sound too happy about Naruto's unintentional compliment.

"Huh?" Naruto put a hand on her forehead. "You're burning up Yui-chan. Do you need to see the nurse?"

"PE storage after school!" Yui squeaked before retreating.

"Huh," Naruto frowned. "It's almost as if… no that's not possible." Naruto shook his head. "I'm not the kind of guy who has multiple women interested in him." He started walking to his classroom. "If so then maybe Haruna-chan would…" Naruto shook his head quickly. "No point thinking about what will never be."

* * *

"Wow," Kushina whistled as she walked around the newly built house. Despite looking like the average house on the outside, once you were inside it was much, much larger. It was practically a mansion all style as a traditional Japanese castle. There were all sorts of Devilukian gadgets everywhere. Minato's shrine was now located on a hovering table. Kushina had noticed that Naruto's room was now home to a massive bed that was probably the size of his old room and that Lala didn't have her own room. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the two devil spawn were on their sister's side (If somewhat unwillingly in the case of Nana) and were just another obstacle placed between her and her precious Naru-chan but the harder the battle the sweeter the victory.

"I'm glad you like it," Momo smiled. "This entire house holds the most hi-tech defences so if any of the assassins try and kill Naruto he should be safe so long as he is in here."

"Assassins?" Kushina froze.

"Oh yeah," Nana nodded. "There are many who want to marry Ane-ue and the only way to do that now is to remove the perverted beast from the picture."

"So let me get this straight," Kushina was wearing a completely fake smile. "Every instant my little Naru-chan is out of this house he is potentially in danger from some alien assassin who is physically stronger and technologically more advanced that we humans?"

"Yeah," Nana nodded.

"And this is all your sister's fault?" Kushina's eye was twitching.

"It was hardly Onee-sama's fault," Momo shook her head. "It is our father's fault more than anyone else."

"Then my course is clear," Kushina cracked her knuckles. "I must protect my Naru-chan at all times! How can I rest knowing that his capacity to make babies with me is in jeopardy?"

"… Have you ever considered that your actions are a little indecent?" Momo asked.

Nana gave a snort.

"**Did I say something funny?" **Momo's death glare caused Nana to freeze up.

"There is nothing indecent about love." Kushina smiled. "I love him with all my heart and all my soul. If something were to happen to him I'd… I wouldn't be able to carry on without him."

"That's kind of romantic," Nana admitted.

"The thought of Naruto bending me over and completely ravishing me is the only thing that gets me through some days." Kushina added. "Other days it is the thought of him trying me up and doing this and that… ooh and more of that…" Kushina started to drool.

"…All earthlings are perverts," Nana declared with disgust. "AND WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE NEE-CHAN!"

"I accidentally face palmed my nose," Momo smiled.

"LIKE HELL I'M GOING TO BELIEVE THAT!"

* * *

There was a cry of surprise as the male student found that the football at his feet as suddenly missing as Naruto easily took the ball and passed it down field to Rito, who managed to get the ball cleanly and narrowly missed scoring.

Watching the males of the class play football (or soccer if you prefer) were the girls of the class, at least the girls that weren't running laps. Currently Lala was cheering Naruto on whilst Haruna, Risa and Mio simply sat and watched them run around.

"That's good," Mio nodded. "Yuuto is a good pairing they work well together."

"Yuuto?" Lala blinked.

"She means Naruto and Yuuki in a homosexual pairing," Risa sighed. "Mio has started doing this since her Yaoi fetish was exposed."

"But wouldn't they be good together?" Mio argued. "Just picture it…"

_Mio's Imagination._

"_Naruto… be gentle," Rito looked away shyly trying to cover his slender form. _

"_I can't make that promise… You __**will **__be sore by the time I'm through with you. There'll be pain..." Naruto lifted Rito's face to his own. His muscular body a direct contrast to Rito's frailer body. "But it's a good pain." They got closer to each other…_

_And cut away to a flower that loses its petals amongst Rito's moans._

_End Imagination _

"Substitute Rito for me and you have my dreams most nights," Risa muttered under her breath.

"Yuuki-kun and Naruto-kun aren't like that!" Haruna squeaked.

"Naruto-kun?" Lala tilted her head as Haruna blushed at her mistake.

"Ooh?" Mio's eyes glistened. "I see how it is…"

_Mio's Imagination_

"_I'm sorry," Haruna turned her back to the naked forms of Naruto and Rito. "I can't choose one of you." _

"_That's okay," Naruto hugged her from behind his firm manhood pressed against her lower cheeks sending a pleasant flush through her body. "For the sake of my most precious person… I'm willing to share." _

"_I love you too much to not have you… even if it means sharing." Rito hugged her from the front as Naruto started nibbling on her ear. _

"_Please…" Haruna's voice was husky. "Take me… both of you at the same time…." _

_End Imagination_

"Mio!" Risa chastised. "You've broken Haruna-chan!" Haruna had frozen and gone white.

"Naruto wouldn't share with another man!" Lala protested. "It would be more like Naruto with multiple women!" She confidently stated.

"Lala…" Risa put a hand on her shoulders. "That image is going to cost me half an hour in the showers after class."

"What?" Lala looked confused.

"Never mind," Risa smiled.

* * *

The Devilukian High Security Prison was where you were sent to die if for some reason or another you couldn't be killed outright. Whether it be for political reasons or because you were genuinely indestructible, should you get on the wrong side of the Devilukian Empire your last destination would be a fortified cell. It was full of the most high tech defence systems and there had never been a successful escape. It was a floating fortress the size of Earth and was guarded by a fleet of Devilukian Cruisers. Attempting a jail break was a suicidal course of action.

That didn't mean people didn't try and the guards were happy to have a minor distraction from their thankless task of keeping the worst scum of the universe sealed away. In fact today another attempt was being made although this one was having more success than the usual attempts. He had already got aboard the main fortress and made his way deep into the underbelly of the prison complex. This intruder was currently on his way to one of the cells in the deepest part of the space fortress. The large cloaked figure made his way down a steel corridor with his entire body covered by a thick black cloak that blocked the scanners and minimalized his heat signature. It also had quite a few hidden gadgets that had cost a small planet to obtain. Or at least they would have cost that if the intruder was the kind of person to pay for the stuff he needed rather than kill its current owner and claim them for himself.

Several cameras watched the cloaked figures every move as he strolled down the corridor, sensing his movement but not his actual presence. Automated turrets followed him waiting for him to do anything aggressive yet the figure strolled down without a care in the world. He walked up to the end of the corridor whistling a happy tune. The corridor lead itself into a large spherical room with a single pathway that walked through the middle of the spherical room.

At the end of the walkway there was a massive door that looked like the entrance to the world's largest safe. Lining the walls were a few heavy laser weapons designed to take down capital class ships (as if one could ever fit down the corridor the intruder had just taken), there were innumerable smaller laser turrets capable of reducing the largest of armies to vaporised ashes which was overkill considering the walkway and corridor would mean only a group of five could fit through and that would be shoulder to shoulder with very little room for any evasive manoeuvres. There were also several heavy missile emplacements. All of which were tracking his every step. For a laugh he decided to dance, amusing himself as he got the turrets to bob their guns in time to a beat only he could hear. He continued walking towards the gate and found a checkpoint with two bored looking guards who suddenly sprung to attention as he approached them.

"HALT!" Two heavily armoured guards crossed halberds with blades of glowing green energy. Their tails gave away their Devilukian species.

"Okay," The cloaked figure stopped.

"We have no records of any prisoner visits for this cell." One of the guards stated.

"This prisoner is not allowed any visits." The other scowled at the intruder. "How did you get past the other gateways?"

"I explained my situation," The intruder smiled.

"Gatepost Sigma this is Gatepost Omega. Report!" The guard on the left talked into a headset. "Sigma Report!"

"I'm afraid they won't answer you!" The intruder laughed playfully.

"All turrets reduce this intruder to ashes!" The other guard roared… "Turrets?"

"So sorry," The intruder laughed in a sing-song voice. "I'm afraid that your turrets won't listen to you."

"Who the hell are you?" The guards pointed their halberds at the intruder.

"I am mistress's faithful servant." The figure clicked his fingers and the turrets pointed at the guards. "Good night!"

In a violent crescendo of multi-coloured lasers reduced the two guards to the component atoms in a blink of an eye.

"What terrible guards…" The intruder laughed, "They fell to pieces in a crisis!" The intruder laughed at his own terrible joke. "Now…" He clicked his fingers and the anti-capital ship lasers started to cut through the heavy duty gateway. "To free the mistress!" The intruder cackled madly as the heavy duty door started to slowly melt away.

* * *

"Nothing like a game of football to get the manly energies flowing!" Kenichi declared as Naruto, Rito and Kenichi headed back to their classroom.

"Really? I didn't see you do anything but stare at the girl's track lesson," Naruto replied dryly.

"Precisely," Kenichi nodded seriously. "Seeing girl's in their springtime of their youth fills me with manly passion."

"For some reason I am filled with a strange sense of despair when you say that." Naruto mused.

"But didn't the girl's look good in their outfits?" Kenichi challenged.

"Well…" Rito rubbed the back of his head. "I can't say I noticed much."

"Well I…" Naruto scowled as his phone started to ring. "Who could be calling me at this time?" Glancing at his phone he saw it was from Haruna's phone. "Haruna is calling me… Hello?" He answered the phone.

"_Well hello there Uzumaki-kun," _An unfamiliar voice responded.

"Who are you and what are you doing with Sarenji's phone?" Naruto's eyes narrowed prompting a look of horror on Rito's face.

"_All your questions will be answered if you come to the PE storage room!" _The line went dead.

"Damn it," Naruto scowled, "You two head to class! I'll go deal with this."

"If Haruna-chan's in trouble I can't stand by and do nothing!" Rito challenged.

"Not to be cruel but what good would you be?" Naruto shook his head.

"Even if I am just a distraction I could still help," Rito's eyes were burning with determination.

"… Fine but you have to follow my orders to the letter," Naruto relented earning a nod from Rito.

"Rito…" Kenichi handed Rito a tape recorder. "Please record any words of wisdom the great Sage imparts onto us during combat!"

"Er… right," Rito and Naruto raced off, Naruto leading the way. When they arrived at the PE storage Naruto slowly opened up the door and walked in, closely followed by Rito. The first thing they saw was Haruna tied up.

"Sarenji!" Naruto called to her but she was out cold. "Damn it." He grabbed Rito who wanted to rush to free the girl. "It looks like a trap Rito."

"It appears you are not the mindless thug that your classmates seemed to believe." The voice from the phone sounded from behind Naruto, causing the two males to spin around.

"Sasuga!" Rito narrowed his eyes.

"Who?" Naruto scowled.

"He is a tennis ace." Rito warned.

"… Tennis ace? Well excuse me if I don't wet myself. At least a baseball ace would have a bat. What's he going to do? Smash his racket over my head? Throw a tennis ball at me?" Naruto cleared out one of his ears. "So why did you do this eh?"

"I was just thinking that Haruna-chan hear is almost as appealing as Lala-chan."

"Seriously?" Naruto muttered under his breath. "Then tell me why you called me here?"

"Why?" Sasuga smirked. "Because if you don't want any harm to befall Haruna then you'll do as I say!"

"Oh really?" Naruto narrowed his arms.

"Really," Sasuga pressed a button and the ropes that were binding Haruna started to move, ripping her clothing open and leaving her in a bra and panties. "Maybe I should just get her to bare it all!"

"Bastard," Naruto growled as Rito tried to cover his eyes. "Fine… what do you want me to do?"

"Give up your claim to Lala Deviluke!"

"This is all about you getting a chance to date Lala?!" Naruto grit his teeth.

"Lala is just a bonus to my main goal," Sasuga started to change shape until Naruto was stood staring at some sort of snake like humanoid. His head looked like a certain type of snake, possibly a cobra although Naruto wasn't very good with identifying the different types of snakes. "My main goal is to be the ruler of the entire galaxy!"

"An… an alien?!" Rito blinked stupidly.

"That's right," The alien laughed, "I am Ghi Bree and if you want this girl returned unharmed you will renounce your claim to the throne of the Devilukian Empire!"

"Even if I did do you really think that Lala would fall in love with you?" Naruto smirked at Ghi Bree.

"You are misunderstanding, Lala and I are getting married. I've already decided so!" Ghi Bree remarked. "She has a beautiful figure even if she does have a childish mind set. No matter. I can always train her into a more satisfying personality."

"… I don't like killing." Naruto replied in a cold voice, "Which is unfortunate for you." Naruto's eyes were burning with a quiet fury. "Because when I am finished with you, _you are going to begging for death!" _

"What…" Ghi Bree felt paralyzed from the sheer intensity of Naruto's glare before managing to regain control of his body. "Well… how do you feel now?!" Ghi Bree grew in size but it did nothing to stop Naruto slow walk towards him. "Fine I will use my full power!" Ghi Bree grew larger and more muscular but Naruto didn't even hesitate.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Naruto roared and punched Ghi Bree in the face, sending the alien hurtling across the storage room and knocking him out, after which he returned to his usual much smaller form. "Seriously? A one hit KO?! Gah this isn't satisfying at all." Naruto sighed.

"Naruto… what did he mean about becoming an emperor?" Rito asked.

"Don't you think we should check on Haruna-chan before you start asking questions?" Naruto remarked dryly.

"Right," Rito nodded before blushing as he saw Haruna almost naked again.

"Oh for crying out loud Rito!" Naruto groaned. "If you can't even look at her like this how are you ever going to have a physical relationship with the girl?"

"P…Physical relationship?!" Rito squeaked before passing out.

"Seriously?!" Naruto turned to the unconscious Haruna, "You chose this guy over me? God alone knows what you see in him." He took his School jacket on and draped it over Haruna's body before breaking the bindings on her and lowering her to the floor. "It's about this time Yui usually walks in on me." Naruto glanced at the doorway. "Huh… maybe my luck is changing." He walked over to Rito and slapped him awake.

"Huh… what?" Rito blinked.

"I've covered Sarenji-san up." Naruto sighed. "Take her back to the nurse's office and ask Nurse Mikado to check her over. I'll take that thing," Naruto nodded at the K.O.'Ed alien, "Maybe she knows what the hell he is."

"Er… right." Rito carried Haruna bridal style.

"Well isn't this suspicious," Mikado remarked as they entered her office. "Two young men and a young girl with her clothes torn. What has been going on?"

"Blame this thing," Naruto lifted Ghi Bee up by his leg.

"…A Balkean?" Mikado frowned as she took the alien from Naruto. "They are physically weak but try and compensate by using a perfect mimicry ability."

"He took Haruna hostage." Naruto explained. "To get to me. He also mimicked a school student Satsuma."

"Sasuga," Rito corrected.

"Whatever," Naruto shrugged.

"I see," Mikado nodded. "Well I'll give her a quick check up if you two want to wait outside."

Naruto and Rito simply nodded and stood out of the nurse's office.

"So about this whole alien thing," Rito looked at Naruto.

"Lala is an alien princess as heir to the most powerful empire in the galaxy." Naruto replied. "Her dad doesn't like the fact she has fallen in love with me and is apparently sending assassins to try and kill me with the reward being Lala's hand in marriage."

"I…see." Rito laughed weakly.

"What… you believe me?"

"I don't have any reason not to." Rito shrugged honestly, "Although even after seeing that thing it's hard to believe that aliens are real, never mind that I actually know one. Well I suppose if anyone can handle it, it's you." Rito smiled at him.

"You think so?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Rito nodded confidently. "You are strong spiritually and physically. And the look on your face when that Ghi Bree said his plans for Lala shows me you care for her a lot. If you have love everything else will work out."

"Heh," Naruto let out a pleasant laugh, "You know something Rito? You're a good person."

"Thanks," Rito laughed.

"Just kiss already!" Mio exclaimed.

"What?" Naruto blinked. "How long have you been there?"

"We are looking for Haruna-chan," Risa yanked Mio back. "Someone said they saw you two with her."

"She passed out due to anaemia," Naruto responded without missing a beat.

"I see," Risa smiled although Naruto sensed something off about the smile. "Well no point hanging around." She turned and quickly left.

"What… what was that about?" Naruto scowled. "Rito I'm sure you can look after Sarenji-san for me. I'll go check what's up with Risa."

"Alright," Rito nodded as Naruto ran off after Risa.

Risa headed up to the roof of the school and leaned on the railings looking out. _'I wonder if Naruto would stand like a guard dog if I were the one who was in the nurse's office. Probably not. That treatment is reserved for Haruna-chan and maybe Lala. I can't believe Lala took his first kiss. Why does her forward nature seem to work but Naruto doesn't seem affected by my own? I'm getting left behind in the race for his heart but I need an opportunity to gain his affection!' _

She was shook out of her thoughts by a can of grape juice being waved in front of her face.

"If I remember rightly, grape's your favourite." Naruto smiled as Risa took the can.

"I'm surprised you remembered." Risa smiled as she took a sip from the can.

"How could I forget?" Naruto smiled. "I remembered when you spilt some down your dress and declared that it was tentacle grape because it was touching you up." The two laughed at the childhood memory, "Something on your mind?" Naruto leaned on the railing next to her.

"Just… thinking," Risa stared at the sky. "You and Lala seem to be getting close."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled softly. "She is a genuinely nice girl and she is always so happy. I want her to keep smiling like that."

"That's just like you," Risa sighed softly. "You always try and keep everyone happy. Even now you are probably talking to me to cheer me up."

"Of course," Naruto nodded, "It's a friend's duty to help out their friends isn't it?"

"Yeah… friends." Risa watched people start to leave the school with a melancholy expression. "You… you still like Haruna don't you?"

"Where'd that come from?" Naruto asked.

"I… I know you confessed to her and she turned you down." Risa looked at Naruto.

"I probably always will." Naruto stared out at the people leaving school. "She was my first true friend. If not for her I wouldn't have made half the friends I have now. She was the first person to see past my hair and build to see me for me."

"I see… then what is happening with Lala?"

"In what way?"

"Do you love her?"

"… What I am about to say doesn't leave this roof," Naruto glanced at Risa who nodded. "I… I think I do. But I feel terrible about it. Every time I think of Haruna I feel like I'm betraying her!"

"I see." Risa sighed heavily. "Well don't you think you are overthinking it?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"She turned you down, therefore you're not betraying her. It's that simple." Risa smiled. "And if she doesn't like it she shouldn't have turned you down right?"

"When you say it like that I feel kind of stupid," Naruto laughed. "Here I was supposed to be cheering you up and you helped me instead. Thanks."

"It was my pleasure," Risa smiled, "But if you must repay me how about you and me make sweet, sweet love on this roof."

"Maybe later." Naruto shook his head.

"Naruto…"

"Yeah?"

"Can I hug you?"

"Er… sure." Naruto didn't see the harm.

"Thanks," Risa snuggled into his chest making sure to feel up as much of Naruto as she felt she could get away with.

"Judging by your groping I'm guessing you feel better." Naruto chuckled

"By not stopping me you are giving me permission! It's been too long since we cuddled like this. It makes me feel great." She looked up at his lips and tried to gather the courage to kiss him.

"Erm… Your breasts are kind of rubbing against my chest," Naruto blushed and tried to control his body's natural response to having a young, sexy girl pressed against his chest while her hands roamed his body. It didn't help all that the school shirts were kind of thin and it was very cold up on the roof.

'_Oh here goes nothing!' _Risa closed her eyes and went to kiss him before chickening out and running away, face beet read.

"Risa?" Naruto blinked as she ran away. He swore. _'I was hoping she didn't realise my body was reacting to her presence. Curse you male libido, it's going to be so awkward tomorrow!' _

Risa left the roof then stopped against a wall with her heart thudding. _'I was so close! Damn it! And to think I judge Rito for failing to confess to Haruna. I'm no better.' _She punched the wall before heading back towards the nurse's office.

* * *

Momo scowled slightly as she watched the interaction between Naruto and Risa on her phone via one of the many drones she had investigating the people Lala seemed concerned about. Lala said he had other people interested in him but she assumed it would be a one way crush. Naruto's interaction with Risa meant that Naruto cared for her. He wouldn't want to hurt any of their feelings so if one of them confessed it would cause him problems if he had to choose.

Changing the camera feed she saw Yui pacing around outside the PE storage room, glancing at her watch and muttering about tardiness being the main reason for the decline in the social backbone of their nation. Another camera showed Haruna still unconscious in the hospital bed with Mikado running tests on her. She also had camera's tailing Lala (who was currently walking home with a group of girls and chatting about nothing of importance) and Nana (who was walking around the local neighbourhood and talking to the animals she encountered). The only woman who she hadn't got a drone following was Kushina, because she had some sort of instinctive ability to tell when someone was spying on her and she was able to find and destroy the drones with little to no effort.

Momo's eyes narrowed. If she was to help her Onee-sama marry Naruto she had to find a way to either get the other girls to lose interest in Naruto or to get them to come together as a harem. Twiddling her hair she tried to figure out a way to make it so.

"Maybe… if I awaken the lust I can practically smell on Naruto that he keeps restrained with his iron will he will either capture all of their hearts or repel them so that only Lala remains." Momo grinned as she pulled out her phone. "Let's see if Naruto can hold himself back after being exposed to the spores of the desire mushroom. Just being in the presence of it was said to make holy men who had sworn off of the pleasures of the flesh into sex addicts who spent the rest of their lives searching for the perfect orgasm! Naruto's will is strong but by the time I am finished he will be putty in Onee-sama's hands. And with so much pent up lust Lala would need some help in dealing with him… and I will be ready to help." Momo drooled as erotic images involving her Lala and Naruto started cropping up. "I can't wait!"

* * *

"You're late Uzumaki-san," Yui crossed her arms as Naruto walked into the PE storage room.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto agreed distantly. "I was held up by Risa-chan."

"Momioka-san?" Yui expression darkened. "And what did she do to hold you up?"

"Nothing much, you know you shouldn't give her such a hard time. She's a good person if you get to know her."

"I see." Yui turned her back on Naruto and started sweeping. "I have been hearing interesting rumours around school."

"Is that so?" Naruto lifted some of the heavier equipment and started to put it back where it should be.

"It appears that Deviluke-san is saying you and her kissed."

"She kissed me," Naruto corrected.

"Without your consent?" Yui hoped she didn't sound too hopeful.

"While I didn't tell her she could I suppose I didn't really stop her from doing so." Naruto admitted.

"I see," Yui scowled. "So if she asked, you would have let her."

"I…" Naruto paused. "I don't know. I mean a kiss is supposed to be spontaneous right? It's an act of passion you don't just plan for it."

"That's true I suppose," Yui glanced at Naruto. _'I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. NO! Bad Yui focus on your school duties!' _

The two tidied up in an awkward silence before leaving and shutting the PE Storage.

"Strange," Naruto remarked. "I was half expecting us both to get locked in there."

"Why would you expect that?"

"Just being Genre-savvy." Naruto replied evasively. "I suppose I best head home."

"Yes…" Yui frowned. _'Come on Yui. Find a reason to spend more time with him.'_ "Er… would you like to go to the café just outside of school with me?"

"Pardon?" Naruto asked.

"Not as a date or anything!" Yui broke eye contact, "I just figured that you helped me out here and with my chores that time so maybe I could reward you. Just this once though!" Yui glanced at Naruto who was looking at her strangely.

"I already told you, you don't have to reward me for helping out a friend." Naruto shook his head.

"But I owe you for that so it is a moral obligation for me to repay that debt!" Yui responded.

"I… You're not going to let this drop are you?" Naruto laughed weakly, "Fine then, if it makes you happy I will go to a cafe with you."

"Great!" Yui beamed before catching herself. "Now I don't have to feel as if I owe you."

"… Is being in my debt really so bad?" Naruto asked.

"With your reputation who knows what depraved favour you would ask of me…." Yui blushed as her mind went places that were definitely not very moral or proper.

"Man you really have a low opinion of me huh?" Naruto sighed.

"Almost every time I see you, you are in some sort of trouble." Yui scowled as they made their way towards a small café. "Not to mention the number of times I've seen you naked." Yui suddenly blushed as she recalled Naruto's physique.

"Believe it or not those events weren't my fault." Naruto sighed knowing how unbelievable it sounded.

"Funnily enough, I believe you." Yui smiled at Naruto. "When we talk like this I feel that I am seeing the real you. You are kind and considerate and well… not at all like the rumours say."

"Thanks," Naruto laughed. "And you aren't as bad as the rumours say either."

"… What rumours?" Yui asked uncertainly.

"Oh you know," Naruto replied vaguely. "How you are a tyrant and a cold unfeeling disciplinarian."

"I see… if you don't see me as that, how do you see me?" Yui asked.

"Well that's simple." Naruto laughed. "I see you as you, Yui-chan."

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui looked away cheeks aflame. "And just who am I?"

"A kind hearted girl who wants to help everyone but doesn't know how to go about it." Naruto replied honestly.

"Do… do you like kind hearted girls?" Yui asked.

"No," Naruto said in a complete dead pan, "I only like girls who are evil and want to kill me."

"Idiot," Yui smiled as she hit Naruto lightly on the arm.

"Of course I like kind girls," Naruto put his hands in his pockets. "If I didn't like talking to you I wouldn't. Life's too short to have to deal with things you don't want to!"

"And yet you go to school every day," Yui replied.

"Well… you can't avoid_ everything _that you don't like. Besides I get to talk to my friends at school so it's not all bad."

"Am I… one of your friends?" Yui asked uncertainly.

"Yui-chan," Naruto shook his head. "I'm hurt you even had to ask."

"…Is that a yes?"

"Yes. It's a yes." Naruto chuckled.

"I see." Yui smiled to herself as the two entered the café and sat down at a table next to the window.

"Can I get drinks for the lovely couple?" A waiter asked them.

"We aren't a couple!" Yui blushed.

"That's a shame," The waiter smiled softly, "You two look good together. I apologise if I have caused any discomfort."

"No worries," Naruto smiled. "I can't take offence to people thinking Yui-chan's my girlfriend."

"Don't address me so familiarly." Yui chastised fully aware that Naruto would continue to call her Yui-chan but still she said it. It was like their thing. A little interaction that was hers and his alone. It made her feel warm inside when she thought of it like that.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto laughed. "I'll just have a hot chocolate."

"Me too," Yui nodded as the waiter took their order then left. Looking around Yui froze. The café was full of couples. _'No wonder the waiter made that mistake! The whole café is full of young couples!' _

"Must be some sort of couples' event," Naruto remarked as he too noticed their fellow customers.

"Indeed it is sir," The waiter who took their order returned to their table. "Today our couple's love-love deserts are half price."

"Love-love deserts?" Naruto asked.

"Like our ice cream sundaes to share," The waiter presented a menu to Naruto who looked at it.

"Wow… there all sound delicious," He glanced at Yui. "Do you want to go halves on one of these deserts?"

"I already said I would pay. I am repaying my debt to you," Yui blushed.

"That wasn't a no." Naruto pointed out and handed the menu to Yui.

"What do you like?" Yui asked glancing at the options on the page.

"I'm fine with anything," Naruto grinned. "So long as it is sweet I'm fine. I have a bit of a sweet tooth."

"Really?" Yui smiled. "I would imagine you to eat a lot of meat."

"Well you don't get muscles like these on rice alone," Naruto posed with a cheesy grin earning a giggle from Yui. "I do eat a fair bit of meat but when it comes to treats it has to be something sweet."

"I see," Yui turned to the waiter. "Can I have this one?"

"Ah yes," The waiter jotted something down, "The Blissful confession."

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"It's just the name of the desert that looked nice!" Yui blushed. "The name has nothing to do with anything!"

"It's an ice cream sundae for two with bits of strawberry shortcake in it," The waiter explained. "I will return with your drinks shortly."

"Thanks," Naruto focused on Yui. "So… Last time we spoke you asked me about my plan's for the future but I never got chance to ask you about yours so… what are your plans for the future?"

"I… I want to go to a good university and I want to be a police woman," Yui smiled. "To be able to protect people and lead by example."

"That's just like you," Naruto smiled softly. "Ah thanks," He nodded to the waiter as he brought them their drinks.

"Thank you," Yui nodded as the waiter walked off, "How about you?"

"Me?" Naruto looked embarrassed. "It's stupid."

"Go on, you didn't laugh at my goal."

"Well… I want to be an author. Back when I first moved here after my father passed away I had no friends and everyone was scared of me. I was alone and starting acting out to try and gain attention. It was around then I was given a manga by my grandfather on my father's side. It wasn't popular but I loved it. I saw myself in the hero, a young boy all alone who faced trials and tribulations but never once did he give up. He fought on and eventually he earned the respect of those around him. He made friends and even fell in love and got married." Naruto stared off into the distance. "It gave me the courage to follow my heart and to not let a temporary setback get me down. If I could help even just one person like the author of that manga helped me… I would consider myself a successful author, regardless of the sales of my book." Naruto smiled sadly. "Go on, feel free to laugh."

"I think it is a beautiful dream," Yui said softly. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I don't know what it is about you but I always seem to spill my secrets around you." Naruto laughed as their sundae arrived.

The two ate in relative silence. Yui just enjoying the moment whereas Naruto was enjoying the sundae. They finished up and left the café and Naruto walked Yui home.

"Thanks," Yui paused and then looked embarrassed. "Is it… Is it okay if I call you Naruto-san?"

"Just call me Naruto," Naruto shook his head. "There's no need to use honorifics for me."

"Okay then," Yui gulped. "Thank you very much for walking me home Naruto… -san."

"Close enough," Naruto laughed and turned to leave. "I'll see you at school. Maybe we should do this again sometime."

"Yes…" Yui watched him go and shut the door.

"You look happy!" Yuu glanced at his little sister. "Have a good date?"

"It wasn't a date!" Yui argued.

"Is that so… Who was with you?"

"Well… just Naruto. I was repaying him for helping me with the chores that you left us with!"

"Yeah, yeah I've apologised for that already," Yuu shook his head. "And where did you go?"

"…To a café."

"So there was just the two of you, at a café." Yuu stated. "What did you do?"

"Talked about our plans for the future."

"Really? What did you eat?"

"We shared a sundae."

"Shared a sundae?" Yuu nodded sagely. "That was definitely a date."

"But…" Yui paused. "Are you sure?"

"Trust your big brother. Whether you see it as a date or not, I can guarantee your male friend did."

"Naruto doesn't see me like that," Yui shook her head.

"He told you to call you his name without honorifics. He calls you Yui-chan all the time. Face it, he likes you and you like him. What's the problem?"

A certain pink haired classmate crossed Yui's mind.

"Just tell him your feelings already," The phone suddenly rang and Yuu apparently teleported to it. "Ah! I've been waiting for your call!" He covered the mouth piece, "Could you go to your room. I want to talk to my girlfriend in private ok?"

Yui nodded deep in thought and walked to her room. _'Does Naruto see me like that? I mean he does tend to call me cute… Yet he is close to that Lala girl. What is their relationship?' _

* * *

Haruna moaned as she slowly woke up.

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Mikado joked.

"What… what happened?" Haruna looked around.

"You suffered from Anaemia and passed out." Mikado smiled.

"Oh… I see." Haruna looked around. "Where is Uzumaki-san?"

"He went home I think," Mikado shrugged. "Yuuki-kun is stood outside with Risa and Mio waiting for me to let them in."

"He… went home?" Haruna blinked.

"Well it is getting late," Mikado pointed out.

"I…" Haruna nodded. "Yes, you are right."

"Something on your mind?"

"It's just… Uzumaki-san used to stay by my side whenever I was ill. I guess we are growing apart now. After all he has Lala in his life." Haruna smiled softly. "I'm happy for him."

"People grow distant over time," Mikado smiled. "Besides Momioka-chan said he had to help Kotegawa-chan clean up the PE storage as punishment for something."

"Kotegawa-san is always blaming Uzumaki-san for things that aren't his fault," Haruna frowned slightly. "But Uzumaki-san just accepts it with a smile."

"He's used to being wrongfully accused for things," Mikado smiled. "His blonde hair and muscular build make him look like a delinquent. He's used to being wrongly accused and just takes it all in his stride now."

"But that's not fair for him," Haruna got out of the hospital bed she was laid in. "He is a nice person and deserves to be treated better."

"I get the feeling his life is starting to turn for the better," Mikado smiled. "After all he seems to have quite the following when it comes to you girls."

"What do you mean?" Haruna looked shocked.

"Well if the rumour mill is true then he has Lala as a girlfriend. Yui Kotegawa is also very eager to be in his presence it would seem. And you appear to be quite attached to him."

"It's not like that," Haruna shook her head. "We are close friends."

"Yet the fact he is happy without you seems to be upsetting you."

"It's not that!" Haruna frowned. "I just… miss when he'd always be there for me."

"Why don't you tell him that?" Mikado asked. "Make time in both your schedules to just hang out?"

"I… don't have the right to ask that of him." Haruna shook her head.

"Is that so?" Mikado checked Haruna's temperature by placing her palm on Haruna's head. "And why don't you have the right to ask your best friend to make time to catch up with you?"

"Because… I did something to him that I can never forgive myself for." Haruna bowed her head sadly. "I hurt his feelings."

"You don't seem the kind of person to do that," Mikado raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"

"I rejected his confession." Haruna spoke softly. "I broke his heart. And do you know what the worst thing is…"

"What?"

"He doesn't hate me for it. He could never hate me for it." Haruna whispered. "If I told him to come he would come running without a moment's hesitation. Because that is the kind of person Naruto Uzumaki is. It would be better if he hated me. If he refused to talk to me yet he pretends he never confessed just because it makes things easier for me. For an entire year he pretended it never happened and carried on with his big smile and cheerful ways while inside I could tell he was hurting. But I didn't say anything because… because I am a selfish person. I didn't want to lose my best friend so I turned a blind eye to his pain and pretended everything was fine. But now it looks like I'm losing him anyway. I should be happy for him. I mean Lala is nice and she genuinely seems to love him but the closer she gets to him the further away I seem to get."

"Maybe you should find someone to fill the void?" Mikado requested. "If Naruto is in a relationship and happy don't you think you should give it a try? Isn't there someone you like?"

"Well… there is one person."

"Then tell him how you feel!"

"But what if he turns me down?"

"… Then you will understand how Naruto felt." Mikado replied honestly.

"I…" Haruna lowered her head.

"Would you listen to me, I'm just a school nurse yet here I am acting like some sort of agony aunt. You are a teenager. I'm sure everything seems so important right now but in a couple of years I'll bet you will look back and wonder what you were so worried about. If it's meant to be it will be," Mikado shooed Haruna away. "You are fine just be careful okay?"

"Okay," Haruna smiled, "And thank you Mikado-sensei."

"Just doing my job," Mikado smiled as the girl left.

* * *

Naruto collapsed on his bed with a tired yawn. It looked like Momo and Nana had been busy fixing the house and had somehow bent reality to make the house much larger on the inside. Clearly the Devilukians were so powerful even the laws of physics just let them do as they pleased. Naruto had found out from Lala that this technology was still quite advanced by Devilukian standards. Lala had devised it one day and had explained it to Momo and Nana. While they didn't fully understand (they weren't geniuses of Lala's calibre) they knew enough to replicate the effect.

"You look tired," Momo opened his door. She was wearing a fairly modest earth dress.

"I am exhausted," Naruto peered at Momo. "I had to deal with a weird alien called Ghi Bree and he attacked Haruna and… OH CRAP!" Naruto shot up. "I completely forgot about Haruna." He felt incredibly guilty about leaving his oldest friend in the nurse's office.

"I'm sure she is fine," Momo smiled, "After all you left her in capable hands right?"

"Yeah… you're right. Wait a second how do you know that?"

"Because that's the kind of person you are," Momo replied without missing a beat. "I know you wouldn't leave someone alone like that." _'I don't think you'd like to know about the cloaked drones I rented to spy on you and your friends' _

"I'm glad you think so highly of me," Naruto smiled. "Shame Nana seems to have such a low opinion of me."

"I'm sure she'll come around one day. You look like you need a long relaxing soak in a bath. Do you want me to wash your back?" Momo offered.

"Ah… no thanks." Naruto smiled weakly. "My mother would probably destroy this house if she found out that I let someone who wasn't her shower with me."

"I'm afraid we didn't build a shower," Momo led Naruto through the remodelled house and showed him to the bathing area. "However we did install several large baths." Momo stopped as they arrived in a corridor with several wooden doors, "Your mother is currently using bath 6 so please use bath nine. If you change your mind just give me a call and I'll be glad to wash your back."

"Thanks for the offer but I'll be fine." Naruto smiled. _'What a nice girl.' _

"Okay, enjoy your bath!" Momo smiled. _'A bath that's laced with spores of the aptly named Desire Mushrooms. A quick soak in that tub and your inner beast will awaken!' _Momo drooled slightly. _'Good job I am wearing this cheap dress. I have a feeling it won't survive Naruto's rampage.' _

Naruto smiled as he entered the bathing room but froze as he saw his mother's clothes in a basket. Leaving the room he checked the door and found that the number on the door had a screw missing and had fallen upside down making what should have been room nine, room six. "I'm sure me and my mother swapping baths won't be a problem," He muttered and entered bath six. Leaving his clothes in a basket before walking into what looked like an Olympic swimming pool. There was a thick steam in the air which filled Naruto with a strange sense of vitality as he dived into the large bath and swam around before leaning against the edge of the bath and relaxing. The hot water soothed his aching muscles and he let out a happy sigh as he floated on the surface.

Outside Momo was preparing herself for the fully awakened Naruto. She drooled slightly as she imagined the scenes of debauchery that would take place. She was so lost in her own imagination she didn't realise Lala was there until she called out.

"Momo!" Lala called as she headed towards the bath area. "Where's Naruto?"

"He's just gotten in the bath." Momo smiled. "Why don't you join him Onee-sama?" _'I don't care whether I'm first or thirty-first. So long as I get my fair share.' _

"I'm sure Naruto wouldn't want me to," Lala pouted. "He seems to prefer bathing by himself."

"I have a feeling he might change his mind." Momo smiled innocently. "After all you two kissed right? Doesn't that mean you are a couple? He is in bath nine."

"You're right!" Lala beamed. "Naruto, I'm coming to join you!" She tossed her clothes aside as she entered bath six, her Naruto homing senses allowing her to choose the right room straight away.

"Lala?!" Naruto quickly span around so he wasn't facing her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well obviously I'm joining you in the bath!" She laughed. "I mean you said that you were falling in love with me."

"I said that you were making progress in making me fall in love with you," Naruto sighed. "I don't really think we are at the naked bathing level of our relationship." He felt two soft mounds press into his back as Lala embraced him from behind. _'Think of something unsexy! The principal naked… oh god I think I just killed my libido permanently. _

"Oh come on," Lala whined. "I used to bathe with other people all the time! It's nothing special. It's more fun when you bathe with other people."

"Fine…" Naruto sighed. "So long as you cover yourself with a towel I guess I'll allow it."

"Yay!" Lala cheered before dashing out of the bath and returning moments later, a towel covering her chest and hips. She passed him a towel that he used to cover himself with. "Better?"

"Better," Naruto nodded and Lala started swimming in the tub. "You know Devilukian engineering never ceases to amaze me. This bathroom is probably bigger than the house."

"Once you know how to borrow space from other dimensions building things that are larger on the inside isn't too difficult. Of course there are dangers to randomly borrowing space out of other realms of existence but we only summoned Cthulhu by accident once."

"… Suddenly I feel a lot less safe." Naruto shivered.

"Don't worry!" Lala swam over to him with a smile. "If anything from another dimension attacks I'll protect you!"

"Lala your towel!" Naruto blushed and looked away as Lala reclaimed the towel that had dropped off of her chest.

"Sorry," Lala sat next to Naruto.

"It's okay," Naruto smiled at her, "No harm done. It's not that I don't want to see you naked it's just… I don't want to rush things you know? I want to fully fall in love with you before we go any further than kissing."

"So… you wouldn't mind kissing me now?" Lala asked hopefully. "You are fine with kissing? Just nothing more?"

"Well you have been good at school so I guess a quick kiss would be a good reward," Naruto reasoned.

"Really?!" Lala beamed.

"Really," Naruto put a hand on the side of Lala's face and slowly approached her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Is that…" He was silenced by Lala wrapping her arms around his head and drawing him in for a deeper kiss. Her tongue probed his teeth as if asking for permission to enter and Naruto allowed it, their tongues duelling for a brief moment before Naruto broke this kiss, a thin trail of saliva joining the two. "That was… wow."

"Ehehe," Lala broke the trail with her hand. "Sorry I kind of got carried away."

"It's… wow." Naruto blinked. His mind was reeling from the kiss. He wanted another but managed to control himself although he was aware by a painful throbbing in his groin that he was probably going to end up with a severe case of blue balls but he refused to allow his libido to rule him.

Watching the scene via the cloaked drone following Naruto, Momo smiled. Her plan was coming together. But what was strange is how much resilience Naruto was showing to the desire fruit's spores. Devilukians were immune to it but Naruto should have Lala pinned against the wall and be ravaging her furiously. Lala's moans of pleasure should have been music to her ears.

"I don't understand," Momo muttered as Nana entered their room.

"Don't understand what?" Nana asked. "Oh before I forget, I kind of ran out of screws on the doors for the bathing rooms."

"…What?"

"Yeah I only had one left when I got to bath nine. Still not sure why you wanted me to use screws considering that they are a primitive earth technology. I'm assuming you were planning to make some of them spin around as an excuse to get people to join the perverted beast in the bath or have him walk in on someone."

"Is it possible that the nine could spin and be a six?"

"Yes but I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"…You may have just doomed us all."

"What do you…?" Nana was cut off by a demonic roar.

"**GAARGH! IN THE NAME OF SLANEESH I MUST HAVE SEX WITH MY NARU-CHAN!" **Kushina's roar of primal lust shook the entire house.

"This is not good," Momo twiddled her hair. "Kushina was already a bundle of lust tied together with a Naruto complex. With her lust heightened by the Desire spores she has become the legendary pervert only appears once every thousand years. She is… A Super Sex Fiend!"

"A super sex fiend?!" Nana blinked.

The walls to their room exploded and Kushina walked in, her hair pointing upwards in sharp spikes.

"Quick Nana! What do the Sex-energy counters saying about her lust level?"

"The S-counters?" Nana put some glasses on and looked at Kushina causing the glasses to explode. "It's over nine thousand!"

"Well now we have gotten that reference out of the way… what should we do?" Momo turned to Nana.

"Wait? Why do _I _have to fix your mess?"

"Weren't you saying earlier how you were the superior twin?" Momo called over her shoulder as she ran away.

"GET BACK HERE NEE-CHAN!" Nana yelled after her fleeing sister.

* * *

The cloaked intruder scowled at the cards before him, before glancing around to make sure no one was watching and he swapped some cards around with a smug smile. So what if he was cheating? He wasn't going to lose a game of Solitaire so long as he could help it!

Glancing back to the safe door he was distressed to see that despite a full four hours barrage the door was still standing and the capital ship lasers had burnt themselves out. Fortunately he had complete control of this areas security so until someone came to relieve the disintegrated guards he wouldn't have to worry about getting discovered. He had another six hours before the shift change.

Sighing theatrically, the intruder gestured with his hands and the smaller lasers began their barrage of brightly colour high energy death to try and melt down the door. Seriously if his mistress found out the degree of protection her cell had she would be insufferably smug about if for at least a year!

Flipping over one of the cards that was face down he found himself staring at a joker. A quick gesture of his hands and the playing cards were atomised and he sat watching the light show that was slowly but surely wearing away at the cell door. _'Game cancelled due to a freak laser shower. I didn't lose.' _The intruder thought childishly.

Maybe if he was lucky mistress would punish him for saving her.

He could but hope.

* * *

Once again in control of his body, Naruto was washing Lala's back. He was in awe of how smooth and soft her skin was. She giggled occasionally as he scrubbed her back.

"So you said that you used to bathe in groups all the time back on Deviluke?" Naruto asked.

"Hai!" Lala nodded. "I used to bathe with all my maids! I had around fifty at one point."

"I see." Naruto laughed. "I suppose that explains why you aren't shy of people seeing your body. What was life like on Deviluke?"

"For the most part it isn't that different from earth life. I had to visit an academy for princesses which was kind of like a school but they taught us things like how to dress and the correct way to address royalty. Of course I was royalty of the highest degree so those lesson were never really required. Oh and we weren't allowed to play sports which is why Earth schools are a hundred times better!" Lala smiled as she felt Naruto's hands was her lower back.

"I'm glad you are enjoying life here," Naruto remarked. "I ran into another assassin today… Ghi Bree I think his name was."

"Man I hated that guy." Lala pouted, "I doubt he proved much of a challenge for you," She started humming softly as Naruto rinsed her back with cold water.

"Not really although he did hold Haruna hostage."

"Is she okay?"

"I think so," Naruto lathered his hands and grabbed Lala's tail to wash it and was rewarded with an orgasmic moan which caused the majority of the blood to be diverted from his brain to Naruto junior and caused Naruto to freeze.

"Na…ru…to…" Lala panted. She sounded so damn erotic Naruto felt his libido rise again. She looked at his with a misty look in her eyes.

"What…" Naruto swallowed in a desperate attempt to get his body back under control, "Is it?"

"My tail…" Lala moaned as Naruto looked at the appendage. "Sensitive…"

"I see…" Naruto finally gathered enough brain power to let go of her tail.

"That felt good," Lala moaned. "Please… clean it more."

"Lala…" Naruto gulped as he stroked her tail earning another erotic moan. "Is your tail an erogenous area?"

Before Lala could answer the wall to the bathroom exploded and a glowing Kushina charged in. Nana and Momo were clinging on to her in a desperate attempt to stop her.

"Run Naruto! She is the legendary Sex fiend!" Momo warned.

"What?" Naruto stood up and turned to face them before freezing at the sight of his fully naked mother. The combined stimulation of Lala's moans and his mother's figure caused his mind to go into an emergency mode.

_Naruto's Mind_

The armies were gathered and preparing for combat. One group of Naruto's gathered underneath a banner with a picture of Lala on it in a love heart, all wearing pink basic armour. The leader Naruto wearing pink samurai armour. This was the Naruto's developing feelings for Lala and it hosted a formidable force.

Beside them stood an army wearing similar outfits only blue and their banner showed a picture of Haruna. What was once a grand army of unimaginable size had found itself dwindling of late, but it still had a formidable host.

Across the barren wasteland stood their opponents. An army wearing blood red armour and carrying a banner devoted to Kushina. While this was the smallest of the three armies it had reinforcements. An uncountable number of naked Naruto's all grinning lecherously. The manifestation of Naruto's sex drive.

"FOR LALA!" The pink army charged.

"FOR HARUNA!" The Blue army joined the fray.

"FOR WINCEST!" The Red army charged.

"DEATH TO THE CHERRY!" Their naked allies roared.

The fight was truly epic with people crashing into each other and the cries of the fallen mixed with the jeers of the victors when suddenly a new army appeared all wearing heavy armour. Naruto's self-control had arrived and without a word charged into the disorganised mass of combat.

_End Naruto's Mind_

While a battle of epic proportions raged inside Naruto's mind, the real Naruto was still frozen staring stupidly.

"No…" Lala moaned at the loss of pleasure and grabbed Naruto to pull him back to her. Unfortunately she only grabbed his towel and pulled it off revealing a fully risen Naruto junior to the three females. There was dead silence followed by Momo and Kushina hurtling backwards with a nose bleed that had the same force as a high pressure jet washer. Nana merely stood there pointing. Her mouth opening and closing without making a sound before she fell over backwards muttering nonsense.

"Amazing…" Momo managed to stagger to her feet, stemming her bleeding nose. "Excalibur… the only weakness of the Legendary Sex Fiend."

"… I call it Naruto Junior," Was Naruto's stunned response.


	8. Chapter 8: All your First

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: I suppose I should say now that most of the background and biology of the aliens in this I have made up. They may not be canon but in this story they are. Basically if you read something and think 'That's not Canon' it is in this story. That is the privileges of a fan fiction author after all. This is our telling of how we think the story could have gone. (Or in this case just mash together two different anime and sit back and watch as they either explode or produce something amazing. I'm hoping the latter in this case.)

Fun fact this chapter's storyline was supposed to be in the last double release. It got knocked back for various reasons.

Some more backstory and a few new characters in this chapter. Also the formation of the HLLL.

Disclaimer: #404 Disclaimer Not Found. Please view previous pages.

* * *

Chapter 8: All your firsts are belong to us

Lala woke with a cute yawn and rolled over, hoping to snuggle up to Naruto. When she didn't roll into anything she decided to roll again until she either fell off the bed or rolled into something.

"…Morning Lala," Kushina grumbled as the pink alien cuddled up to her.

"You're not Naruto," Lala pouted.

"You're not the only one disappointed." Kushina deadpanned. "For a second I dared to hope Naruto had rolled over in his sleep to hug me. Way to destroy my dreams."

"Where is he?" Lala asked.

"It's Naru-chan's birthday today." Kushina groggily got out of bed.

"Really?!" Lala beamed. "I never knew!"

"He doesn't really talk about it," Kushina frowned. "After all it was on his birthday when his father had his accident."

"What happened?" Lala asked.

"I…," Kushina scowled as her head began to ache. "It's not important," She quickly dropped the line of thought, "The fact is though that Naruto never really celebrates his birthday. He tends to spend the day in a sombre mood."

"That's not right," Lala looked on the verge of tears, "Your birthday should be a happy occasion! I'll have to do something to cheer him up!"

"I have some suggestions." Came a third voice.

"Momo?" Lala looked under the bed. "What are you doing there?"

"Well… last night I heard someone sneaking into the house," Momo crept out from under the bed. "I of course went to ask Naruto to investigate when I realised that the intruder was following me so I leapt under Naruto's bed in order to carry out a surprise attack. But Naruto woke up and saw the intruder and simply sighed saying "Not you again old man," to which the intruder laughed and dragged Naruto away who didn't seem to fight so I figured I wouldn't wake you two up." Momo replied, _'Actually I was planning on joining you in bed when someone opened the door and I instinctively dove under the bed to hide.' _

"Really?" Kushina narrowed her eyes before sighing. She didn't trust Momo but seeing as it was Naruto's birthday her story could have some truth to it. "That'll be his grandfather on his dad's side."

"I wish I could have introduced myself to him," Lala pouted.

"So would he if he knew what you looked like," Kushina got out of bed and yawned before brightening up. "I have my job interview today!"

"I was going to ask how you and Naruto were able to live in such a nice place when none of you worked," Momo admitted.

"Naruto's grandfather pays for it," Kushina replied as she started getting dressed before turning to the two aliens. "Do you mind? This isn't a free show for anyone but Naru-chan."

"Don't you find it odd Kushina has her clothes stored in her son's room?" Momo asked as the two aliens left, Peke quickly dressing the naked Lala.

"Not really," Lala smiled. After grabbing something to eat she left the house and cheerfully walked towards school. It felt strange without Naruto walking with her but if Kushina wasn't worried about Naruto's disappearance then why should she? Besides according to Momo, Naruto knew the man responsible and didn't put up a fight. She instantly brightened as she saw a familiar face on the street.

"Haruna-chan!" Lala ran towards her waving.

"Good morning!" Haruna waved as Lala walked up to her. "No Uzumaki-san with you this morning?"

"No," Lala looked upset. "I woke up this morning and he had vanished without a trace. Kushina-chan didn't seem too worried. All she said is that it was probably his grandfather"

"I see," Haruna sighed. "It is his birthday and his grandfather shows up randomly to 'kidnap' him." She shook her head with a slight smile.

"What?" Lala blinked.

"Uzumaki-san's grandfather has a tendency to kidnap him periodically to take him on 'training journeys'." Haruna smiled. "I remember last year. Naruto and I were walking to school when this jeep pulled up, his grandfather leapt out and knocked him unconscious before throwing him in the jeep and driving away. The year before that he rode in on a helicopter with a team of special forces agents who fired tranquiliser darts at Naruto before airlifting him away."

"Training journeys?" Lala repeated, her eye's beaming. "Does he learn super-secret special techniques?"

"No one knows," Haruna shook her head. "He will probably show up around dinner time looking extremely exhausted and dishevelled. He refuses to speak of whatever happens on his training journeys."

"I'll bet it is something exciting!" Lala declared. "But there's something I want to ask you!"

"Oh, what's that?"

"I was wondering if you could help me plan a party for Naruto!"

"A party?" Haruna shook her head, "Naruto doesn't celebrate his birthday."

"Muu…" Lala scowled childishly. "A birthday should be a happy occasion!"

"But for Naruto it is also the anniversary of his father's death." Haruna glanced at the pink haired alien, "Risa and I tried throwing him a party once."

"And?"

"He pretended to have fun for our sakes but I could tell his mind was elsewhere."

"There has to be something we could do!" Lala asked.

"Well it is approaching Halloween," Haruna looked thoughtful.

"A test of courage is required to show which of us is the manliest! And it is also somewhat topical being nearly Halloween." Ren declared.

"Oh! Its cry baby Ren!" Lala beamed. "How long have you been there?"

"I'm not a cry baby anymore!" Ren clenched a fist. "I have completed the first step in my quest to be the manliest man ever. I have completed all twelve volumes of 'Manly Action Sage's Manly Quotes!' and have been training my body as well as my mind." Ren paused, "And I've been here for a good few minutes but you didn't seem to notice me."

"Oh… sorry about that," Lala didn't sound sorry at all, "But what is a test of courage?"

"It is a manly endeavour where people face their fears and prove that they are manly!"

"That doesn't really answer my question," Lala tilted her head.

"Basically you walk in a dark area where people try and scare you using costumes." Ren simplified.

"Sounds fun!" Lala beamed

"Oh well… I guess if you like those sort of things," Haruna turned pale as she looked away.

"You draw lots to see who you go with and everyone goes in groups of two." Ren clenched his fists. "I hope I get to go with you in order to prove to you my manliness!"

"I wonder if Naruto would be interested in that sort of thing." Lala asked completely ignoring Ren.

"I don't think…" Haruna started before another loud voice interrupted.

"Of course the Action Sage would be up for the challenge!" Kenichi declared. "I couldn't help but overhear you and as his number one apprentice/fan I have no doubt the masterful hero of all men would love to prove his courage to you all!"

"I really don't think that's," Haruna tried before being cut off again.

"Great!" Lala clapped her hands. "We need to start planning now!"

"Agreed!" Ren and Kenichi nodded vigorously.

"But Uzumaki-san is almost as bad as I am when it comes to the supernatural," Haruna tried to warn Lala but she was so hyped about her plan that she didn't hear Haruna.

* * *

"Done," Naruto sighed heavily and dropped the pen cradling his aching arm. He was sat at a desk surrounded by several manuscripts. "Though I don't know why you can't get anyone else to do this. You do know today is a school day right Jiraiya Ero-jij?"

"I know… it pains me to have to take you away from that place… with its girls wearing those short skirts. It's practically entrapment I tell you!" Jiraiya proclaimed. Despite the fact he was nearing seventy, the old man was still full of energy and actually had quite a young face (for his age at least). Only his white hair showed his age. He was wearing a kabuki outfit (because why not) and even had his face painted for the part. Sometimes Naruto didn't ask questions for fear of the answers he would get. "But first things first, let me see my art!"

"Usually I would claim it was mine since I drew it but I have no desire to be linked to these… drawings." Naruto shivered. "Yui-chan would definitely kill me."

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya grinned widely. "So you've gotten yourself a girlfriend? I thought I saw someone else in your bed when I collected you!"

"That was Lala," Naruto shook his head.

"… You have two girlfriends? Do they know about each other?"

"They're not my girlfriends," Naruto claimed.

"Yet you are scared of what this Yui thinks and you share a bed with Lala yet you aren't seeing either of them?" Jiraiya replied bluntly. "Have you done anything with the one you sleep with?"

"I suppose we have kissed but…" Naruto stared.

"Meh," Jiraiya snorted, "As if kissing means anything nowadays. I meant did you do anything _erotic_?" Jiraiya asked wiggling his eyebrows obscenely.

"Well…" Naruto recalled how Lala had reacted when Naruto had touched her tail and blushed.

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya beamed. "My grandson has become a man! I thought your drawing of the naked women were looking more lifelike!"

"We haven't done anything like that!" Naruto defended himself. "She just likes to sleep in the nude."

"She…sleeps in the nude… in the same bed as you… and YOU HAVEN'T TAPPED THAT ASS? Do you have no interest in women?"

"Of course I do," Naruto replied, "It's just I don't want to just sleep with her if we aren't right for each other."

"Here's how you tell if she is right for you." Jiraiya stated. "Get naked and have sex. If she wants another go later on then you are all set!" He grinned lecherously and gave Naruto a thumbs up before collecting the rest of the manuscripts. "Still I can't complain you've done a good job here."

"You couldn't complain anyway," Naruto remarked. "I'm slave labour!"

"Details, details," Jiraiya waved him off. "So any birthday plans today?"

"Not really," Naruto shrugged. "I don't really feel right celebrating."

"You know your old man wouldn't want you to remember him like this," Jiraiya smiled softly. "He would want you to honour his memory by living life to the full. Meeting new and exotic women and maybe even getting lucky with them!"

"I don't have any desire to be a man whore." Naruto remarked. "Besides Lala-chan is exotic enough."

"In what way?" Jiraiya asked as he arranged the manuscripts.

"You wouldn't believe me," Naruto shook his head.

"That's the same thing your father said when he met his first love." Jiraiya smiled fondly. "Turns out he was right. I didn't believe him."

"What did he say?"

"He said she was an alien," Jiraiya chuckled.

"Oh really," Naruto sweat dropped, "That is really unbelievable."

"Funny thing is he wasn't lying."

"What?"

"Oh haven't I told you the story of your father and mother before?" Jiraiya blinked.

"My mother was an alien?!"

"… I'll take that as a no." Jiraiya laughed loudly. "Well… surprise! Your mother was an alien!"

"You don't just drop a bombshell like that and laugh it off!" Naruto blinked, "What race was my mother?"

"Can't seem to remember," Jiraiya smiled. "She was a pretty thing as well. Looked a little like Kushina-chan. Her space ship was shot down in orbit over Earth and she was badly injured. Your old man found her and hid her from the local authorities. They must have gotten pretty close because a year later you were born and then she vanished. Your dad missed her terribly but I can't say I did. Something about her was just off."

"He never said anything." Naruto muttered.

"Of course he didn't" Jiraiya laughed. "Who'd have believed him if he did? If I hadn't seen her return to space after fixing her ship I wouldn't have believed it either."

"… I'm half alien?" Naruto muttered.

"Nope," Jiraiya shook his head. "I don't fully understand if but ever since your seventh birthday you have been purely human. The doctor's exams before then all showed strange abnormalities that shouldn't have been present in a human but after the incident you had all the readings of a perfectly healthy human."

"My seventh birthday?" Naruto blinked.

"Yeah when your house had that gas explosion," Jiraiya prompted Naruto's memory. "You and Minato were playing in the field when the house exploded injuring you and Kushina-chan but killing Minato. That's what the police told me anyway."

"I… thought dad was dead before then…" His head started to throb. "Before we were robbed."

"No," Jiraiya frowned. "You old man died a year after those robbers broke into your house. It was you and your dad who managed to chase them away."

"Why…" Naruto groaned as he clutched his head. "Why can't I remember clearly what happened?"

"You were young and it was quite traumatic," Jiraiya smiled softly. "Don't read too much into it. Let's think about happier times eh? In fact I know what we should do!"

"Really?" Naruto dropped his line of thought and noted the headache fading. _'So that seal Mikado saw on my head only triggers when I try and remember my dad and the details of his death. If it really was just a gas explosion then why the need to place those seals on me?'_

"Yeah," Jiraiya grinned. "Let's visit the hot springs!"

* * *

Devilukian security was not that impressive, the masked intruder thought as he watched the lasers slowly melt their way through the security door. He had been sat here for at least a week and no-one had come to investigate the fact most of the guards weren't reporting in. If he were Gid he'd be having some serious words with his officers about now.

The intruder grinned behind his mask as at last the heavy steel door fell away… to reveal another impossibly large door.

"…Seriously?" The intruder sighed and gestured with his hands making the lasers start firing again. Mistress was going to unbearably smug when she found out.

* * *

"Don't you love Hot springs?" Jiraiya sighed happily as he soaked in the hot spring.

"I should have known," Naruto groaned as he tried to avoid staring at the other inhabitants of the spring.

"Mixed bathing is the best," Jiraiya gave a little giggle.

Naruto merely stared at the sky. The spring owner had told them that they had to wear swim trunks whilst in the hot spring as the women had to wear swimsuits although some of them were wearing outfits that were probably more erotic than if they had been completely naked.

"Ah… You realise you can look right?" Jiraiya offered. "Looking isn't cheating."

"Yeah, it's almost hurtful the way you won't look at me." A sultry voice whispered in his ear.

"Hello Mitarashi-san," Naruto sighed heavily. As one of Jiraiya's models Anko was no stranger to baring it all and in poses that were… indecent to say the least. She was quite a flirty person and was a female Jiraiya in her over the top admiration of the female form. She was a proud bisexual and was currently in a relationship but that wouldn't stop her messing with Naruto's mind although she respected her partner too much to actually cheat on her.

"Aww… so cold. But that just turns me on." Anko purred as she sat down next to Naruto wearing what could charitably be called a swim suit. Naruto personally thought to was just several strategically placed straps. "So did I hear correctly? You got yourself a girl?"

"He's got two at least!" Jiraiya proudly proclaimed.

"Do they know about each other?" Anko asked.

"They are not my girlfriends," Naruto shook his head. "Well… I guess one of them is… maybe."

"You don't know?" Anko asked. "That sounds like something you really should know."

"Well…" Naruto frowned. "I know she likes me like that and I guess I am starting to like her like that too but nothing has actually been said."

"Have you been on a date together?" Anko asked.

"Well I don't think so but we have kissed." Naruto shook his head.

"By kiss do you mean a quick peck on the lips or full on tongue duelling?" Anko asked.

"Both," Naruto admitted.

"That sounds like a relationship to me," Anko stated bluntly. "Do you like her?"

"…Yeah but I also like someone else."

"Ahh, this would be the second girl then?"

"Actually the second girl is just a friend."

"There's three girls?" Jiraiya cut in, "They're increasing!"

"You a regular playboy aren't you kiddo," Anko laughed as she slapped Naruto on his back.

"It's not like that," Naruto sighed heavily. "Lala likes me but Yui and Haruna only see me as a friend."

"And which is the one you like?" Anko asked.

"I confessed to Haruna just over a year ago." Naruto remarked.

"I'm guessing she turned you down," Anko crossed her arms. "Did you do anything to try and change her mind?"

"Well not really," Naruto shook his head. "I didn't want to risk pushing her away as she is my best friend."

"So… I don't get the issue," Anko remarked dryly. "If you haven't made any attempts to change your relationship then it seems to me that you don't actually want to change it."

"It's not that I don't want to it's just that…" Naruto sighed. "I know I can't change her mind because she loves someone else."

"Then why are you being such a little bitch?" Anko asked. "If she doesn't love you but there is another girl then why don't you go after the second girl?"

"It's…" Naruto sighed. "Lala deserves more than being my second choice."

"You said she loves you right?" Anko pointed out.

"Well… she certainly seems to." Naruto nodded.

"Then here's what you do," Anko stated. "You go up to her and tell her that you love her but you will always have feelings for Haruna. How she reacts determines where you relationship goes from there."

"I see," Naruto closed his eyes.

"Odds are if she really loves you she'll say something like 'I don't care so long as I am with you' so then you start dating and before you know it the thought of being with anyone else will seem strange and hey presto. Everyone's happy. Except maybe the first girl but let's be honest. Who gives a damn about her? She had her chance for happiness. And with all the freaky sex you'll be having she won't even cross your mind until you walk into her and then you'll be like 'What did I ever see in her?' and walk on with a smile."

"Speaking from experience there?" Jiraiya asked.

"Tch," Anko looked around embarrassed. "Maybe. Anyway it was nice catching up with you blondie. I'd best get home, Kure-chan is cooking tonight and she gets pissed if I'm late for dinner."

Jiraiya mimicked a whip crack at Anko who scowled at him.

"At least I'm getting some you old perv." Anko stuck her tongue out and sauntered away.

"Gargh," Jiraiya groaned as if he'd been shot. "That was a low blow."

"True though," Naruto pointed out.

"Alright, laugh at the old man," Jiraiya pouted. "We can't all have harems falling into our laps."

"I don't have a harem," Naruto remarked.

"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya got out of the bath, closely followed by Naruto. "Still doesn't a hot spring just ease your spirit? Make most of your troubles just melt away."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled thinking on Anko's words. "I think I know what I have to do now."

* * *

Meanwhile at the school, there were murmurs as the female PE class welcomed their new teacher.

"Isn't that...?" Haruna started

"Hai!" Lala beamed.

"Alright then," Kushina Uzumaki observed her charges with an evil grin. It was surprisingly easy to get the perverted principal to hire her as a teacher. Unfortunately she couldn't teach a class on Naru-chan's daily routine and other various facts about his life so Kushina had to choose a subject that required less effort on the academic side of things. She decided to be a PE teacher (No offense intended to any PE teachers out there… Honest.) This way she would always be on hand should any assassins try and harm her beloved Naruto. Plus she could scope out the competition and… encourage them to change the target of their affections. She ordered the girls to stretch out and surveyed her potential threats.

First there was of course Lala. The girl was unnaturally flexible and those damn breasts were a threat to her own! Lala was younger and she had the whole innocent persona that seemed to be able to bypass Naruto's natural defences and she was making progress on stealing his heart. The shameless pink harpy even slept with her beloved Naruto in the nude! As much as it pained Kushina, she realised she was losing to the alien princess. She needed a plan and quick.

Second of the girls that she had heard Naruto mention was of course Haruna Sarenji. The girl that Kushina never really cared about. She was so… boring. Just an everyday school girl. She was polite and she owned a pet dog. Her figure was so-so, nothing Kushina had to worry about there. She was however Naruto's closest friend and she suspected that Naruto held a torch for the quiet girl. Still he didn't seem to want to act on those feelings so clearly there was some obstacle there and for that Kushina was grateful.

The third girl that Kushina noticed was Risa Momioka. The girl's first instinct on seeing her was to grope her breasts. Only Naruto got to do that! From there Kushina realised that was just how the girl behaved. She had overheard Risa complaining that she hadn't been able to grope Naruto at all today which got the red haired teacher seeing red. Risa was still unaware why she was being made to run laps.

"Kushina-chan!" Lala beamed after Kushina told them to pair up and carry on stretching.

"That's Uzumaki-sensei," Kushina sighed. "What is it Lala?"

"When did you become a teacher here?" Lala asked innocently.

"Let's see…" Kushina checked her watch. "An hour ago."

"I didn't know you were qualified to teach."

"Of course I'm qualified to teach!" Kushina laughed nervously. "Do you think the principal would let just anyone teach here?"

The girl's just have her a look.

"Tch," Kushina scowled. "Fine the principal said he would let me teach under one condition."

"And what was that?"

"That I made you all do stretched while he hid in the bushes and watched."

There was an eerie silence as the girls turned towards the bushes surrounding the track course. One bush got up and started to run away before the girls chased his down and began kicking the living day lights out of the poorly hidden principal.

"I regret nothing!" The principal declared.

* * *

Naruto whistled a tune as he walked down the street. The bath had left him feeling energised and ready for anything. He would confess to Lala tonight and… well he would see what happened afterwards. Worst case scenario Lala rejects him. He'd survived that before he could survive it again. Though that was unlikely right? After all Lala did already confess to him so really all he was doing was returning her feelings! She had no reason to reject him! Right?

Unfortunately Naruto was unable to convince himself and the more he thought about it the more he remembered the pain of his failed confession to Haruna. He wandered on auto pilot, finding himself at the fountain where he had first tapped into his aura. The fountain looked completely untouched, despite the fact he had been thrown at it with some force. It was as if his fight had never happened at all.

"So we meet again at last!"

Naruto turned to face a small group of thugs wearing tracksuits and bandanas. One carried a baseball bat and stood in front of the others and looked vaguely familiar to Naruto.

"I Soma of the Panthers shall deliver unto you my vengeance!"

"You look familiar… have we met before?" Naruto asked.

"Don't you know who I am?" Soma asked.

"Can't be someone important if I can't remember you." Naruto sighed. "Okay then, a bit of light exercise will do me the world of good." He activated his aura as the thugs charged all together. It was as if they were moving in slow motion in Naruto's eyes. He smirked as he easily evaded their attacks.

"Stand still damn it!" Soma roared and tried his special kicks, which Naruto caught without any pain and used him as a bat to defeat the other minions. "Damn it…" Soma groaned.

"So… are you going to stop attacking me now?" Naruto remarked, somewhat disappointed with the ease that he had defeated the panther hit squad.

"Never!" Soma declared before passing out.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

"What now?" Naruto rested the unconscious Soma on his shoulder as if he was a baseball bat and watched as a robot landed in front of him. It stood a good ten feet tall and had six arms, each ending in a different weapon. Its robotic head looked like that of a Sunese, that is to say it had patches under its eyes and a sandpaper like skin. It wore what looked like a cat hood and brandished its weapons as it looked at Naruto.

"I AM KANKURO OF SUNA AND I… HANG ON A SECOND…"

Naruto blinked as the robot started making a funny noise.

"There, that's better." Kankuro's robotic voice sounded pleased. "Always did have a problem with the volume settings on this thing. Now where was I? Oh yes. I am here to take your life!"

"How about no?" Naruto offered feeling his aura surging around him.

"Allow me to make a counter offer!" Kankuro cackled as two Gatling guns sprung from the robots shoulders.

"Still a no!" Naruto tossed the unconscious Soma clear of the battle where he soared straight into a sauna and into the middle of the Anti-Perverts Mixed Martial Arts alliance.

"So you want another beating huh?" The girls rolled up their sleeves and began the brutal slaughter of Soma. Although as he was already unconscious he didn't feel the effects immediately. Back to our main character though…

"You have no say in the matter!" Kankuro declared. "My home planet depends on me winning this battle!"

"Can I doom another planet…?" Naruto felt his resolve slip.

"Naruto-dono!" Zastin walked up to him with a strange floating crystal. "Gid-sama wishes to speak to you."

"I'm in the middle of something Zastin," Naruto jerked his head at the giant robot.

"It's okay, I can wait for you to answer a phone call," Kankuro's robot crossed two of its arms.

"Er… thanks," Naruto turned to the crystal.

"I see you have met the first of your opponents!" Gid's voice came from the crystal.

"Second," Naruto interrupted. "I beat Ghi Bree."

"… And you seriously consider that an achievement?" Gid's voice asked.

"Not really," Naruto admitted.

"Besides I didn't send Ghi Bree." Gid remarked. "I happen to think you are unworthy of my daughter."

"And I happen to think you are an unworthy parent but I guess we're just going to have to learn to deal with each other." Naruto retorted.

"Indeed," Gid's voice never seemed to change from the deep booming voice it usually was. It made it hard to tell his emotions. "As such I have decided on a little… test shall we say?"

"These assassins are the tests I'm guessing."

"Indeed. In order to pass the tests, all you have to do is survive and not let anyone else marry Lala. Should you fail I will destroy your planet. Succeed and you will marry Lala and become my Heir."

"… So basically I have to win against everything you send at me or you'll destroy my entire planet and everyone on it?"

"So long as Lala doesn't marry anyone but you, your planet is safe."

"Can't I just marry Lala now?" Naruto asked.

"If you are trying to save your planet that won't work. I only count the official Devilukian imperial wedding ceremony, which is impossible to carry out without me. So if you wish to marry her on Earth feel free but it won't stop the assassins."

"Just when I think you couldn't be a bigger jack ass you go and one up yourself." Naruto growled.

"If that's the case why don't you come to my palace and fight me? If you are so sure of your strength." Gid challenged.

"As soon as I am strong enough I am going to hunt you down and give you the ass kicking you deserve!" Naruto growled at the comms device.

"Then you will have to deal with my assassins until then. Oh just a side note as I believe that my other daughters are with you. They too will have potential suitors coming for them. I doubt you have any interest in them as they are... flawed."

"You talk about your own daughters that way?" Naruto growled. "Your days are numbered. So long as I draw breath I don't care if you are their father. You don't talk about you own children like that!"

"Even if it's true?" Gid laughed. "Well no matter. I am sure you will notice their flaws soon enough and then you'll be glad when someone takes them away. They are not a part of this test although should one of their suitors defeat you then the Earth is forfeit."

"If they don't want to marry your so called suitors then they won't!" Naruto growled at the device.

"Being as flawed as they are it was hard to find them any suitors at all. Would you really have them life as old crones for the rest of their life."

"I will do everything in my power to defend them. Lala, Momo, Nana... as long as I stand I will protect them all!"

"Why?" Gid asked. "Why waste your energy on protecting Momo and Nana? Why risk your planets safety by fighting unnecessary battles?"

"I don't believe the end justifies the means," Naruto replied. "Maybe I could save the Earth if I abandoned them but in my heart I would know that I failed. So what if they have some sort of flaw? Momo and Nana are cute girls who should find love and have children and do whatever the hell it is they want! And if you think your threats will stop me from doing everything I can to protect them then… you are mistaken! So just shut the hell up and send your assassins! I'll kick all of their asses and then it's your turn you hear me?" Naruto crushed the comms device with his aura augmented strength. "… I really have got to stop letting my mouth run haven't I?" He muttered under his breath as his aura faded away.

"Naruto-dono," Zastin smiled. "It is your brave heart that makes me glad to know you."

"You really don't care?" Another voice sounded from behind him. Naruto turned to see a wide eyed Momo and Nana stood behind him. "You don't care that we are… flawed?" Momo asked.

"I didn't realise you were there," Naruto blinked before smiling. "I don't care what flaws you think you have. As far as I'm concerned you are perfect just the way you are." He grinned cheekily. "It's your dad who has the flaws."

"Naruto…" Momo blinked. She suddenly saw it. As Naruto stood there with that smile, telling her that everything would be alright… that he accepted her for her. She saw it. She saw why Lala wanted to marry Naruto, to spend every moment of her life with him. And Momo agreed. She stepped forward to run into his arms. Someone else bet her to it.

"Waah!" Nana sobbed into Naruto's chest as he rubbed her head with a soft smile.

"It's alright." Naruto glanced at Momo and held out his other arm who gratefully ran into his other side and joined her twin embracing Naruto.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Momo whispered as she fought the tears in her eyes. "I never thought I would ever say these words."

"Momo?"

She looked at Naruto with eyes that were eerily similar to the ones Lala looked at him with. Eyes full of nothing but love and admiration. Naruto felt guilty just being the target of that look. He felt as if he was betraying Lala just by being looked at like that by someone other than her.

"I love you." She smiled at him and kissed him. It was just a peck on the lips but Naruto felt incredibly guilty as Momo snuggled into him again.

"Perverted beast," Nana tugged at his shirt causing him to look down at her. "It's not like I like you or anything," She looked uneasy before glaring at Naruto. "But I love you okay?" She jumped up and kissed Naruto as well.

"Naruto-dono…" Zastin walked towards him.

"HELL NO!" He glared at the knight. "That's enough kissing for one day!"

"Er?" Zastin blinked stupidly. "I was just going to ask if you were going to fight Kankuro."

"Oh…" Naruto smiled. "I kind of forgot about him."

"You… you bastard!" Kankuro roared. "I can't get a single date and now you have three Devilukian princesses?! Damn you Harem Lord!"

"Harem Lord?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"And I have to kill you after such a heart wrenching moment damn it!" Kankuro bemoaned.

"No you don't." Naruto whispered softly.

"I don't? But if you surrender then your planet gets destroyed."

"But if you surrender…"

"My planet dies because no one will solve its crisis," Kankuro responded.

"No it won't," Naruto grinned widely as he stepped away from the twins. "Because I am going to become the emperor of the galaxy.

"Naruto…" Momo smiled softly.

"It's the only way I can keep everyone happy." Naruto clenched his fists. "Otherwise Gid will just make his daughter's lives a misery! So I'll go and kick his ass then I'll make him save your planet."

"But… how can I trust you?" Kankuro asked.

"Because Naruto Uzumaki is a man of his word," Naruto responded.

"If you can't defeat me how will you ever defeat Gid?"

"So we fight either way then," Naruto sighed. "Oh well. Let's do this!" Naruto called upon his aura and blinked stupidly. He felt far stronger than usual when using his aura and two small blue orbs were orbiting him. "That's new." He flicked one of the orbs lazily and it screamed towards the robot and detonated destroying the arms on the left of the robot. "… Okay. I did that." He looked at the one remaining orb and grabbed it. The ball flickered before turning into a humming blade of energy. He swung it a few times before shaking his head.

"So this is the power of Naruto Uzumaki," Momo muttered to herself. "He… he can do it. He can become emperor!"

"What is it?" Nana asked.

"Kind of disappointed it doesn't make a vwoom noise like a lightsaber." Naruto remarked.

The one remaining Gatling gun started spinning up as Naruto charged the robot, glowing blade of energy in his hand. The bullets screamed by Naruto as he closed the gap and slashed at the arms before skidding to a halt behind the robot.

"You were already dead," Naruto stated as the robot behind him exploded. "I've always wanted to do that." He smirked as her approached the wreckage of the robot out of which a singed Kankuro clambered out. He was wearing a black hooded outfit and glanced at Naruto. He had the same black markings under his eyes that his people shared as well as what looked like an excessive amount of make up on.

"So…" Kankuro staggered out of the robot and fell to his knees before Naruto. "Are you going to kill me?"

"I already told you," Naruto sighed, "I am going to save your people."

"Really?" Kankuro blinked.

"Yeah," He handed Kankuro a tissue, "A piece of advice, I would hold back on the make-up if I was looking for a girlfriend.."

"IT'S WARPAINT DAMN IT!"

"Whatever." Naruto walked away closely followed by Nana and Momo.

"He is incredible isn't he?" Zastin offered a hand to Kankuro. "He will go far but one man can only do so much, even with three Devilukian princesses behind him. If Naruto-dono is to challenge Gid-sama he needs more that his own strength."

"Are you telling me to ask my sister to rebel against Gid?" Kankuro's eyes narrowed.

"Of course not," Zastin shook his head. "But if he is to be Galactic Empire he will need powerful allies."

"I'll pass on your message on." Kankuro stared at the leaving Naruto. "Do you think he can do it?"

"Gid-sama certainly thinks so." Were Zastin's final words before he too left the park strolling calmly… until he heard an excited bark and a small dog came out of nowhere and started chasing him. It kind of killed the bad ass look he was going for.

Fortunately Naruto and the twins were unaware of this as they walked home.

Naruto scowled as he activated and deactivated his aura.

"Is something wrong?" Momo asked.

"Yeah," Naruto scowled. "Those two orbs that appeared when I entered the aura mode aren't there anymore."

"Maybe there is some sort of charge time?" Momo suggested.

"Yeah I guess," Naruto dropped the aura before stopping and facing the two girls. "I just want to say… while I appreciate your feelings I doubt I'll be able to return them."

"How did you feel about Lala when you first met her?" Momo asked.

"Well I guess I thought she was cute but that's about it." Naruto admitted.

"And how do you feel about her now?" Momo tilted her head.

"I… I love her." Naruto admitted.

"You've already said you find us cute," Momo smiled. "So I'm not worried. I will win your heart just as Onee-sama has."

"I can't cheat on Lala," Naruto shook his head. "Not after all she has given me."

Nana and Momo looked at each other before giving Naruto a funny look. "What do you mean by cheating?"

"I mean seeing you behind Lala's back."

"Why would we have to?" Momo frowned.

"Eh?"

"You are going to be the emperor right?" Momo smiled seductively as she sauntered up to Naruto.

"Er… I kind of was just running my mouth but it would solve a lot of problems."

"Indeed," Momo nodded. "Including your love life."

"How do you mean?" Naruto blinked.

"Hasn't Lala told you?" Momo smirked. "As emperor you'd be expected to take multiple wives and concubines."

"I… didn't know that," Naruto admitted.

"So you see you wouldn't be cheating." Momo wrapped her arms around his neck. "If you become emperor…" she whispered into his ears. "We'd be all yours and it is completely legal and moral."

"But not all at the same time!" Nana's face was so red it looked likely to explode. "I know what you are thinking you perverted beast!"

"I…" Naruto blinked stupidly. "I mean Lala said she was willing to share me but I never actually…"

"Don't worry." Momo smiled. "I understand this will take some getting used to but I promise you when I win your heart… You won't regret it."

"What?" Naruto blinked stupidly as each of the twins took one of his arms and walked home holding it. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"In a manner of speaking," Momo smiled at Naruto. "But I will win your heart. Onee-sama may take your first but so long as I get my fair share of your love… I'm happy."

'_She shares her older sister's determination at least,' _Naruto thought.

"You can't say all those things and not take responsibility!" Nana declared. "Someone has to tame you, filthy beast."

"I would much rather uncage the lust within," Momo licked her lips.

"I… I think you two are going to be like the devils on my shoulders aren't you?" Naruto sighed before his phone vibrated. "Huh, Lala wants to meet me at the school," He glanced at the sky. "It's getting dark I wonder what she could want."

"Naruto," Momo asked. "Do you genuinely love Lala?"

"I… I really think I do." Naruto nodded.

"Then tell her," Momo smiled. '_The faster Lala and Naruto get intimate the faster I get to have a little bit of Naruto time.'_

"Ane-ue loves you. It would make her day to have you confess to her," Nana nodded.

"Thanks you two. I will." Naruto headed towards school.

The two watched him go before Nana sighed. "Stupid perverted beast."

"Yes… but he's _our _perverted beast." Momo smirked. "And we are going to…" Momo whispered something into his ears.

"B…But!" Nana went read again. "That's not until after marriage!"

"Fufufu…" Momo grinned evilly. "How cute you are. What with your childish figure…"

"Gargh," Nana scowled. "Naruto said he would accept my flaws. At least mine are visible."

"He… he will accept mine right?" Momo's hand rested on her stomach.

"Yeah," Nana nodded. "I know he will."

"…Thanks." Momo smiled as the twins went home.

* * *

When Naruto arrived at the school he found Lala stood waiting for him.

"What's happening?" Naruto asked as he approached.

"Naruto-kun! Happy birthday!" Lala ran up to him and froze. "Your t-shirt is damp!"

"Ah," Naruto smiled weakly, "I'll explain later. Actually I'm glad I ran into you alone. I've got something to tell you."

"Uzumaki!" A familiar voice yelled.

"God damn it," Naruto sighed as Ren ran up.

"What did you want to tell me?" Lala asked.

"I'll tell you later," Naruto smiled before turning towards Ren with a frown. "So how can I help you?"

"Today I shall prove once and for all I am the greater man!" Ren grinned maliciously. "Today we shall take a test of courage!"

"I see," Naruto scratched his head. "And what exactly does that entail?"

"We go into the school in pairs and each visit several 'horror spots' and whoever gets scared first is the loser!" Ren declared.

"Right," Naruto frowned. "How do we decide our pairings? I only see three people."

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna smiled as she and Rito walked up to the group. "Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday," Rito smiled. "Mikan said she would make you a cake as a thank you for keeping me out of trouble."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled softly. "Tell her I am looking forward to tasting it."

"I will." Rito nodded.

"N… Naruto-san," Yui joined the group, struggling to call Naruto by his given name.

"Oh you're here too Yui-chan?" Naruto smiled.

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed. "I have to make sure that nothing untoward happens on this excursion!" She paused. "And Happy Birthday N… Naruto-san."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled.

"So we are all gathered here then. Risa said she couldn't come but would have a present for you tomorrow and Mio… I kind of forgot to ask. Kenichi said he wasn't manly enough to take part in a challenge devised to prove the Manly Sage's manliness and everyone else had other plans. " Lala clapped her hands as she looked at the six gathered friends. Before pulling out a set of straws keeping the bottoms hidden in her palm. "Each straw has a coloured end! You join up with someone who has the same straw as you. Simple right?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "So is there any particular order to drawing?"

"Well as the birthday boy I think Naruto-san should go first." Yui offered.

"Well if no one has any objections," Naruto pulled out a straw with a yellow bottom. "Yellow."

"Okay!" Lala smiled. She had marked them with special Devilukian markers that glowed only to Devilukian eyes. However before she could draw her straw Ren jumped in and pulled out a straw.

"Yellow!" Ren declared before scowling at Naruto. "I would have preferred to be with Lala-chan but I guess this works to! I shall show you the face of manliness."

"Do you want to draw again?" Lala tried.

"The law of the straws is absolute," Naruto shook his head. "I don't like it any more than you do Lala."

"Scared I will show you up?" Ren challenged.

"I just know I'll have to carry you when you pass out from fear," Naruto retorted.

"Well… who's next?" Lala managed to stay cheerful. It wasn't as if leaving Ren alone with Naruto would cause her problems down the line. If only she knew.

"Red," Rito glanced at his straw.

"Blue," Yui held up hers.

"Red," Haruna pulled out a straw.

"Guess that leaves blue for me," Lala smiled as she pulled out the last straw. So the teams are Haruna-Rito, Naruto-Ren and me and Yui! Let's begin everyone!" Lala cheered as the groups split up and entered the abandoned school.

Hidden in the shadows, a heavily bandaged Soma growled. He had woken up outside a sauna feeling sore all over. Once again his direct attack on Naruto had failed. It was time for plan B… again. He would avoid going after Naruto's mother and house this time though. Of all the targets it looked like the two girls would be the easiest. Soma grinned. Revenge would be his and the panther's honour would be restored.

* * *

Lala calmly walked through the dark hallways, followed by a slightly nervous Yui.

"Hello!" Lala called out, "Any ghosts here?"

"Deviluke-san," Yui looked around. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course Yui-chan!" Lala beamed.

"Would it kill you to address me properly?" Yui frowned. "You should address me as Kotegawa-san."

"Muu but that sounds so unfriendly," Lala pouted.

"… Fine anyway I wish to ask you just what is your relationship with Naruto-san?"

"My relationship?" Lala blinked. "I love him."

"And does he love you?" Yui asked.

"He says he is growing fond of me." Lala smiled.

"But you are not in a relationship with him?" Yui asked.

"I… I guess not. I don't know." Lala frowned. "We never really talk about it."

"I see." Yui smiled.

"You look happy." Lala tilted her head.

"Just thinking about a date I went on." Yui replied. "At least I think it's a date…"

"What did you do?" Lala asked.

"We went to a café and talked about things," Yui was evasive. "We shared a desert."

"I wish Naruto would take me on a date," Lala pouted slightly missing Yui's flinch.

"So it definitely was a date," Yui smiled softly. "Then maybe he does feel the same way." She muttered under her breath and placed a hand on her heart.

"Ooh!" Lala clapped her hands. "Who did you go on the date with? Maybe you and your boyfriend can double date with Naruto and me."

"I don't think that would be possible," Yui stared off into the distance.

"Oh, did the date not go so well?" Lala asked.

"It went brilliant," Yui shook her head.

"He didn't enjoy it?"

"I… I think he did. He said we should do it more often." Yui shook her head. "But I don't know if he thought it was a date."

"How can you not know if something is a date?" Lala looked confused. "Are you related to the boy?"

"No!" Yui shook her head.

"Are you embarrassed of Naruto and me?" Lala looked like a kicked puppy. "Is that why you don't want to double date?"

"It's…" Yui glanced at Lala and sighed. "I can't lie to you. It was with Naruto."

"… What?" Lala blinked. "Naruto went on a date with you?"

"Yes." Yui nodded. "I didn't know what your relationship was so I didn't think…"

"Naruto had his first date with someone." Lala walked away as if in a trance. She felt strangely hollow. While she had said that she was willing to share Naruto the fact that someone else had beaten her to such a prolific landmark in a couple's love life hurt her. She felt an unfamiliar dark feeling in her stomach.

Suddenly a figure leapt out from the shadows.

"I am here to avenge the panth-argh!" Soma yelled out as Lala punched him through a wall and carried on walking.

"Er… Deviluke-san?" Yui followed the slowly walking Lala who continued walking as if under a spell.

* * *

'What good luck!' Rito thought to himself as he and Haruna patrolled the school's halls. A chance to be alone with Haruna-chan under such circumstances was a god given gift. At least it would be if either of the two could find any words.

"So..." Both of them tried speaking at the same time and quickly blushed.

"You wanted to say something?" Rito asked.

"What is it you wanted to say?" Haruna asked at the same time.

"Oh nothing," They both said together.

'_Damn it!' _Rito mentally cried. _'I am so close to Haruna-chan! If only I could think of something to talk about.' _

'_Yuuki-kun,' _Haruna glanced at the orange haired boy, _'Why is it so hard to talk to you? I wish Uzumaki-san were here he could start a conversation for us. Ah but then it would just be awkward when he became like a third wheel. Besides Uzumaki-san probably wishes he was with Lala and not me.' _Haruna frowned a little.

"Are you alright?" Rito asked.

"Huh?" Haruna was snapped out of her thoughts.

"It's just, you didn't look very happy." Rito smiled, "Did you want to be paired up with someone else?"

"Oh no! That's not it!" Haruna shook her head. "I'm just thinking about Uzumaki-san and Lala-chan. They probably wanted to go together."

"Ah yes," Rito smiled at the thought of his friend. "He definitely seems to be getting along well with her."

"They live together you know," Haruna smiled softly. "It must be nice spending so much time with someone you love."

"I wish I could spend most of my time with y… with the girl I like," Rito mentally cursed his cowardice.

"Oh!" Haruna looked interested. "Is there someone that you like?"

"Well…" Rito started going red and taking deep breaths. "Sarenji-chan I… I like you!" He closed his eyes and waited for the response. When there wasn't one he saw Haruna staring behind him frozen in fear, he turned around to see a bloody body slowly walking towards him.

"Revenge…" The semi-conscious Soma moaned.

"Aaah!" Haruna screamed and swung at the beaten panther using the first thing to hand, Rito. After pummelling Soma into a crumbled heap she dropped Rito and ran down the corridor in hysterics.

"Was that a no?" A dazed Rito asked as he staggered to his feet with a sad expression before sighing and following her with a heavy heart.

Soma let out a pitiful moan. Why was everyone who Naruto knew so freakishly strong?

* * *

Naruto looked around the dark school corridors trying not to show his unease. He had _always _hated the supernatural. He hated the idea of a foe he couldn't fight back against. Add to that he had assassins after him and this school was full of potential ambush sites and he was understandably a little stressed. Oh and he was still trying to figure out what he would say to Lala. 'I love you but I also still have feelings for Haruna. Oh and your sisters are also trying to make me fall in love with them and one has decided that I should become emperor so we can all get married and live happily ever after.' Yeah… that would be a fun conversation to have.

Ren looked around cautiously. He had been hoping that Naruto had refused to take part so he would win by default. Truth of the matter is he was not a big fan of the supernatural. Ever since Lala had locked him in her closet once after she had been playing dress up he had developed a fear of dark places. Her closet was so large it had its own ecosystem. Let's just say that the creatures in there were very interested in seeing what Ren tasted like.

"This is stupid," Naruto looked around the darkened hallways. "There is no such thing as ghosts." He repeated under his breath like a mantra.

"You sound scared!" Ren tried to hope he didn't sound frightened. He failed.

"Not as much as you though," Naruto countered.

"Revenge…" A groaning voice sounded down the corridor.

"I'm sure that's just the wind," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Revenge… Uzumaki…"

"Or maybe some of the others are just playing a practical joke." Naruto tried.

"Revenge…for… the.. Panthers…"

"… Hang on a second I'm pretty sure that I haven't killed any of them." Naruto remarked his fear abating somewhat.

Soma dragged his badly beaten form down the hallway. He was a mass of bruises and bleeding injuries. He was pretty sure he had broken his left leg and was dragging it along the floor groaning in pain. He looked from his one good eye and saw Naruto and some strange boy stood next to him.

"Z…Zombie?!" Ren stammered.

"Calm yourself down," Naruto sighed. "Zombie's aren't real. Although this guy does look kind of familiar. Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"…Revenge…" Soma tried to speak but his voice hurt.

"It wants revenge for the fact I crashed landed on its grave when I arrived on Earth!" Ren bemoaned.

"Listen Ren," Naruto grabbed Ren by the shoulders. "It isn't real! Well at least zombies aren't. I'll deal with this okay?"

"You can't deal with a zombie!" Ren was beside himself with fear.

"Fine I'll show you otherwise alright?" Naruto cracked his knuckles and walked up to Soma. "So… are you really going to try and fight in that shape or are you going to leave quietly."

Soma weighed up his options. If at full strength he was barely a nuisance to Naruto there was no way he could do anything in this state.

"…Retreat…" He groaned and lurched down the hallway.

"I… I don't believe it," Ren fell to his knees. "You are truly the manliest man." Ren conceded. Inside of him a female voice squealed _'My brave, blonde hero!' _

"See nothing to worry about," Naruto smiled.

"Excuse me," A girl cleared her throat.

"Oh I wasn't aware that Lala invited anyone else to join in." Naruto glanced at the girl.

"Could you please make less noise?" She tried.

"N…Naruto… legs!" Ren squeaked.

"Ren!" Naruto scowled at the shivering boy. "Sorry about him. I guess he isn't used to seeing such fine… non-existent legs…" Naruto followed Ren's gaze then looked at the girl realising he could see through her. "Ah… You wouldn't happen to be a ghost would you?"

"Hai," The ghost girl bowed formally. "My name is Shizu Murasame. You may call me Oshizu."

"Excuse me a second," Naruto spoke in a robotic tone. He waved his hand through Oshizu then looked around. "So you are not a hologram?"

"No," Oshizu smiled.

"You are actually an honest to goodness ghost?"

"Hai," Oshizu bowed her head.

"I see…" Naruto smiled weakly._ 'Well she doesn't seem hostile… maybe she is an alien species.' _Naruto tried to think rashly. "And what are you doing here?"

Before Oshizu could answer there was a strange barking noise.

"A dog?" Naruto turned to see a small stray puppy, the one that usually harassed Zastin trotting up to him. "Oh hi there little guy." He fussed the dog who barked happily.

"D…D…DOG!" Oshizu shrieked unleashing a blast of psychic energy.

"AAAH!" Naruto's frail grasp on his emotions snapped as he and Ren ran away, Naruto carrying the small dog under his arm. "There's no such things as ghosts!" He repeated to himself as the confused dog enjoyed the ride.

Oshizu watched as they ran away. _'He is protecting me from that dog! Truly he is a gentle soul to fight of such a fearsome foe… I hope he comes back so we can talk a bit more.' _

_With Soma_

Soma groaned as he staggered down the hallway. He was giving up, at least for today. Clearly his crew needing better equipment to take on the likes of Naruto and his friends. Apparently the Big Boss was looking for volunteers for a special soldier project. Maybe he would volunteer for it and then use his new found strength to crush Uzumaki! Although they said the chances of surviving the procedure weren't a hundred percent…

"GHOST!" Ren and Naruto ran straight over Soma, leaving him a twitching pile of pain on the floor.

Then again could he continue to live life like this?

"ZOMBIE!" Haruna raced over his twitching body closely followed by Rito.

Living life as a comic relief character?

"Lala-san please wait up!" Yui called out as Lala stomped over Soma on her way out of the school.

He was starting to think there was more chance of him surviving the procedure that this night. He heard two more pairs of footsteps heading towards him.

Momo and Nana crept through the hallways of the school.

"I don't like this nee-chan," Nana muttered as they looked around.

"When it comes to Onee-sama's happiness I am leaving nothing to chance!" Momo twirled her hair. "We have to make sure that Naruto confesses to her! Can't you summon one of your animals to find her?"

"Gi-chan I chose you!" Nana summoned the giant boar.

"Can that track people?" Momo asked.

"Of course," Nana declared proudly. "So long as Gi-chan has smelt something before he never forgets the scent!"

"GIIII!" The boar stared straight at Soma.

"Oh gods no!" He cried out as the giant boar charged him.

* * *

The groups all gathered. Lala was deliberately not looking at Naruto. She felt mad at him, not for the fact that she wasn't his first date but more for the fact he was hiding that fact from her. Yui kept glancing between Naruto and Lala, worried that she might have done something that would upset Naruto. Haruna was looking incredibly embarrassed and Rito was sighing a lot about how Haruna reacted to his confession. Naruto was glancing at Lala and wondering why she wouldn't look at him. Ren had simply left the grounds crying about ghosts.

"Well… that went well." Naruto sighed. "Hey Lala…"

"Humph!" Lala turned her back to him.

"Is something wrong?" Naruto asked.

"You tell me." Lala pouted and walked away.

"What… what just happened?" Naruto recalled the ghost he had seen before, "Was she cursed by a ghost or something?!"

"Er…" Yui opened her mouth to tell Naruto what happened then froze. _'What if I say that I told her about our date and he tells me it wasn't a date! He doesn't like me that way?' _

On Yui's shoulders two chibi Yui figures stood. One had a halo and was wearing a police officer's outfit. The other had horns and wings and looked oddly like Yui dressed up as Risa.

"Tell him the truth," Police Yui sternly told her. "It is better to tell the truth rather than live a lie. It is your duty to the moral backbone of the school. A relationship built on lies will never work."

"Yeah because telling him that you are the reason Lala hates him is really going to improve your relationship. Think about it! If Lala and Naruto stop getting so close that means he is all yours!" Risa Yui winked cheekily.

"But that would be immoral!"

"Better immoral than unhappy!"

"You harlot!"

"Stuck up bitch!"

The two Chibi Yui started a cat fight. Yui shook her head and they disappeared.

"Did something happen with her?" Naruto asked.

"I… don't know." Yui looked away.

"I guess I'll find out back home." Naruto sighed heavily, "Thanks anyway Yui-chan."

"Don't address me so familiarly," Yui said without any passion as she stared intently at the floor. '_I don't deserve it.' _

If Naruto noted Yui's odd behaviour he didn't comment, glancing at the blushing Haruna who seemed to be struggling to look at Rito and a somewhat depressed Rito he shook his head. "Well whatever happened in there seems to have affected us all. I'd recommend we go home and recover."

"Yeah," Rito nodded as the group headed home.

"Tell Lala… thank you for inviting me." Yui bowed her head as they reached her home. "I hope you enjoyed your birthday."

"It was an experience," Naruto smiled at her causing her to flinch and turn away before closing the door.

"You don't look happy," her brother noted. "Judging by the time you are back it looks like you spent a fair bit of time with your boyfriend." Yuu growled. "Did he make you do something you didn't want to do?"

"No…" Yui shook her head. "I just… it's complicated." Yui walked up to her room without another word. When she entered her room she dived on her bed and cuddled up to her pillow. _'Why didn't I tell Naruto the truth?' _

Outside the group had reached Rito's house.

"Welcome back," Mikan answered the door and noted Rito's look.

"Hey Mikan," Rito smiled weakly as he walked past her.

"Rito," Mikan looked at her brother worried then glanced at Naruto. "Do you two want to come in? I've almost finished your birthday cake."

"That's okay…" Naruto started until a sharp look from Mikan made him change his mind, "But if you insist…"

Haruna and Naruto sat in the living room while Mikan worked in the kitchen.

"Naruto-san, could you come in here for a second." Mikan called.

Naruto walked into the kitchen. "You look cute in an apron."

"Thanks," Mikan looked away with a tint of red on her cheeks before getting to the point. "Rito looks really down."

"Yeah," Naruto glanced into the living room where Haruna was still sparing into space. "I don't know what happened in there but Rito and Sarenji-san are acting weird."

"Do you think he confessed and was rejected?" Mikan looked worried. "I know I also pressed him into confessing but I didn't think…"

"Nah," Naruto ruffled Mikan's hair earning a half-hearted glare. "We both know Rito could never confess as he is now."

"True," Mikan cheered slightly. "Could you ask him what is wrong… You are his best male friend. He might tell you."

"He might," Naruto agreed and went to Rito's room and knocked.

"Come in," Rito sighed.

"So… what's up with you?" Naruto asked as he entered.

"I… I actually did it." Rito looked up at Naruto.

"You did what?" Naruto asked.

"I confessed…" Rito smiled sadly.

"I see," Naruto sat down beside Rito, "And what did Sarenji say?"

"She screamed and used me as a baseball bat to beat up a zombie." Rito sunk into a depression.

"… When she turned me down, she just said no," Naruto chuckled. "Are you sure she heard you? When Haruna seems something supernatural she tends to completely zone out and go into a berserker rage."

"So you mean…" Rito cheered up.

"Yeah," Naruto grinned at Rito, "She probably didn't even hear your confession."

"You think so!" Rito grabbed Naruto's arm.

"Yeah," Naruto laughed. "The same thing happened to me the first time I confessed to Sarenji."

"Wait you confessed more than once?"

"Yeah the first time was in a haunted house. I thought it would be the ideal time. She'd be scared and holding on to me and it would work. Of course I didn't know that I wasn't that fond of ghosts and just as scared as Haruna was of the supernatural. I confessed but she was freaking out because of the ghosts. Then I started freaking out when I saw them." He laughed. "We were in there for about two hours until Risa came in to find us. We were huddled up in a corner too scared to move."

Rito joined laughing. "I can't imagine you being scared of anything. I mean you seem largely unaffected by the fact you have alien assassins after you."

"I can fight assassins. How do you fight a ghost?" Naruto shivered. "Well I'd best be going. If it makes you feel better I'll check with Sarenji to see if she has any recollection of being confessed to. I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Naruto and Rito left the room, Mikan giving Naruto an appreciative nod seeing her brother's improved mood.

"Here's your cake," Mikan handed a small box to Naruto. "I hope you enjoy it."

"I'm sure I will," Naruto ruffled Mikan's hair. "Anything made by you is delicious. I envy the man who marries you."

"You really think so?" Mikan suddenly found the floor very interesting.

"Wait! Mikan's too young to be thinking about that!" Rito started flailing his arms in panic.

"Unlike some people I am mature enough to address my feelings." Mikan remarked dryly.

"I won't allow it!" Rito declared. "I will protect Mikan-chan from those vultures!"

"How could you protect me?" Mikan smiled darkly, "If anything I have to protect you."

"Mikan's pretty kick ass," Naruto agreed, once again ruffling her hair. "You on the other hand…"

"I'm not that hopeless am I?"

"Nice weather we are having?" Mikan changed the topic.

"It's not too bad, a little cold." Naruto agreed.

"I hate you two sometimes."

"We know," Mikan and Naruto laughed as Rito shook his head. The brother and sister waved Naruto and Haruna off before closing the door.

The trip to Haruna's house was a silent one until Haruna finally broke the silence.

"You get along well with Yuuki-chan."

"Hm?" Naruto turned to Haruna. "She's a good kid."

"You always did want a younger sister," Haruna smiled.

"Yeah," There was a twitch of pain in Naruto's head but he dismissed it. "So what happened with you and Rito?" Unaware to Haruna he had opened his phone and dialled Rito.

"Oh," Haruna went bright red, "It was so embarrassing!"

"Embarrassing?"

"I was talking to Yuuki-kun when I… I think I kind of freaked out. The next thing I knew I was running down the hallway. I think I used him as a weapon…" She looked at her feet. "He probably thinks I hate him or something."

"I'm sure he doesn't mind," Naruto laughed. "So you don't remember anything else?"

"No… why did something else happen?" Haruna looked at Naruto.

"No," Naruto laughed. "Just checking that Rito didn't try anything while you were alone."

"Yuuki-kun isn't like that," Haruna protested. "He's kind and brave…" They stopped outside Haruna's house. "Thank you for walking me home Uzumaki-san."

"No worries," Naruto smiled softly as she entered the building. Walking away he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "You hear all that?"

"Yeah," Rito sounded happy. "So she doesn't hate me!"

"Now all you have to do is confess again." Naruto reminded him.

"It took so much effort for that one confession… I don't know if I could do it again." Rito admitted.

"Trust me, even if Mikan and myself have to frog march you to her house and use a Taser every time you fail to confess we will get you to confess."

"I don't know what's more worrying. That threat or the fact that Mikan just used the exact same threat before you rang me. She even has a Taser and is pointing it at me now."

"Ahahaha!" Naruto laughed. "Seriously, Mikan is awesome. You're lucky to have a little sister like that."

"Yeah, I know." Rito admitted.

"Well talk to you later."

"Yeah. Oh and Naruto… Thanks." Rito hung up.

"The things I do." Naruto smiled as he entered his house. The twins were sat waiting for him looking angry. "Can I help you?"

"**What did you do to upset Onee-sama**_**," **_Momo growled as she walked up to him. While the pressure of her dark side was powerful, Naruto could withstand Gid's.

"She's still in a bad mood?" Naruto frowned. "She was fine until she went into the school with Yui-chan. Yui seemed a little distant but I never would have thought there was someone Lala couldn't get along with."

"**Then why did she say 'Stupid Naruto' when she came home and went straight to her room?" **

"I don't know," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "If I knew why she was upset I would do anything to cheer her up. I… I love her. I really do. Even though I still have feelings for Haruna I can't deny my feelings for Lala. I fell like scum. Seeing her upset hurts me especially if I am the cause of the pain. I just wish I could do something. I hate feeling so helpless."

Momo and Nana were looking at something behind Naruto.

"Say it again," Momo whispered.

"I hate feeling helpless?"

"No… how you feel about Ane-ue," Nana clarified.

"I love her?" Naruto clarified.

"You love who?" Momo pushed. "Put it in terms that cannot be mistaken!"

"I'll put this in the clearest terms I can think of. I, Naruto Uzumaki love your older sister, Lala Satalin Deviluke. I can't put it any clearer."

"You… you love me?"

Naruto span around to see a wide eyed Lala. "…Yes, I…"

"YOU LOVE ME!" Lala exploded with happiness and dived at Naruto knocking him to the floor and cuddling him.

"Yes," Naruto smiled. "I love…" He was silenced by Lala kissing him passionately. When they broke the kiss a thin trail of saliva still joined them. The kiss was so passionately that Nana had to look away, her face on fire with a blush the likes this world had never seen.

"You love me." Lala repeated.

"Yes I…" Once again a passionate kiss interrupted him.

"You really, really love me!"

"Yes," Another kiss.

"And you proposed to me!" Lala beamed.

"I… wait what?"

"Yeah Devilukian proposals don't require rings." Momo grinned as she crouched down beside Naruto and Lala. "All you have to say is your full name and that you love the other person saying their full name."

"… Oh," Naruto gave Momo and look as Lala snuggled into his chest. "Why do I have the feeling I've been played here?"

"I don't know what you mean?" Momo looked innocent. "After all did I get you to say something that wasn't true? Besides be glad Papa isn't here. The marriage ceremony is exactly the same except he has to witness it and declare that we are husband and wife. The marriage is then sealed with a kiss."

"When it comes to love you Devilukians really don't waste time… You win," Naruto kissed Lala on the forehead. "I give up. As much as I hate losing I'll accept it this once. I have lost to the Devilukian princesses."

"Get used to that," Momo smiled. "Now we have our hooks in you we aren't giving you up!"

"We?" Lala beamed at her sisters. "You love Naruto too?"

"Well," Nana pouted cutely, "He kind of has some good points you know? For a perverted beast."

"How can I not love a man who declared war on Papa to protect me from getting married?" Momo smiled.

"I did what now?" Naruto blinked.

"Well you did threaten to kick the ass of the guy who rules the Milky Way," Nana remarked. "Are you changing your mind on that you perverted beast?"

"Naruto Uzumaki never goes back on his word." Naruto smirked.

"That's my future husband," Momo smiled.

"Our future husband," Nana corrected.

"But I'm the first bride," Lala stated.

"Of course Onee-sama," Momo nodded.

"I may not be the person you had your first date with but…" Lala started.

"What do you mean?" Naruto blinked. "I haven't had a date yet."

"You haven't?" Lala's eyes widened with realisation. _'Poor Yui-chan. Naruto doesn't see her like that so he didn't realise it was a date! I feel sorry for her.' _

"No," Naruto smiled. "Although I am free this Sunday, you know if you wanted to… maybe do something?"

"Hai!" Lala beamed.

Momo smiled as she saw Lala and Naruto together. _'Onee-sama deserves this happiness. I'll get my share later. Everything is falling into to place.'_

Suddenly the front door exploded open and Gi-chan the giant bore entered, Soma in his mouth.

"Now I remember where I saw you!" Naruto pointed at Soma. "You were the guy who was eaten by that boar when my mother was chasing me around school!"

"All of my hate," Soma groaned as Gi-chan swallowed him again.

"…Do I want to know how he escaped last time?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"Probably not," Nana shook her head.

"**Well isn't this cosy?" **Kushina growled as she entered through the ruined front door. "**After I spent hours searching the old school trying to find my precious Naru-chan and have a little night time fun, he was here getting comfortable with the Succubi triplets." **

"… Mom," Naruto got to his feet, Lala clinging to him like a lifeline.

"**Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you into my bedroom and make sure that the only feminine scent on your body is mine!" **Kushina growled.

"That is kind of an indirect way of saying you want to have sex with me," Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You are usually less subtle than that."

"That was subtle?" Momo asked.

"For Kushina yes," Naruto nodded.

"**Hehehehe.,," **Kushina giggled.

"I think I broke her," Naruto took a step back.

"**Oh you can break me anyway you want Naru-chan! Any hole you want, any position you want! You called me Kushina not mother! You have finally cast aside the delusions of society where two people cannot make hot sweaty sex because a piece of paper says one is the others legal guardian! TAKE ME NARUTO!" **

In a blast of pink energy, Kushina became the legendary sex fiend and her clothes scattered as her lust energy ripped them from her body. Naruto looked away and tried to fight his body's natural reaction to see an attractive naked woman. Lala rubbing herself against him really wasn't helping.

"Quick!" Momo handed Naruto a pill. "You have to take this! It's the only way to counter her Super sex fiend powers!"

"Right!" Naruto took the pill. "Wait wouldn't it have made more sense for a pill to be given to… Oh no."

"That was extra strength Devilukian Viagra!" Momo grinned. "And the only weakness of the legendary sex fiend…" She pulled down his trousers and looked away. "IS EXCALIBUR!"

Kushina blinked stupidly before cartwheeling over backwards from the force of her nose bleed.

Nana wasn't fast enough to look away and simply fainted at the sight.

"I'm going to need a few moments," Naruto grumbled as he headed to his room and got into the new showers Momo and Nana had recently installed. He needed a long cold shower.

* * *

Gid looked at the reports he had received regarding the Sunese People.

"So," Gid smirked, "It appears that Naruto has gotten himself some political power in this victory."

"Muu…" A voice sounded from a comms crystal next to his throne. It was feminine and sounded quite childish. "You say that as if you doubted my plan."

"Of course not," Gid cleared his throat. "And are you still maintaining a low profile?"

"Of course," The voice somehow sounded even more childish. "Only Naru-kun has met me."

"And you've wiped his memories every time?"

"I did :)."

Gid paused. He never understood how the speaker actually managed to speak in such a way that you heard the emoticons at the end of the sentence. "Good. His power?"

"It looks like you were right!" There was the sound of clapping, "His aura is special. My when Momo and Nana hugged him its power shot up :P!"

"As would be expected if we are right in our assumptions." Gid got out of his throne, followed by the crystal and gazed out of his throne room. "Do we have enough time?"

"Of course XD." The crystal nodded. "The remnants of the Darkness project should buy us some time."

"Good," Gid sighed. "And the girls?"

"Happier than I've ever seen them. Nice to see all the effort I put into making him into what he is today is paying off !"

"Good," Gid smiled softly. "Have you decided on the second assassin yet?"

"Hai !" The crystal bounced around. "I was thinking maybe Doggy-kun."

"I see," Gid nodded. "Well I will make the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you Chibi-kun !" The crystal stopped glowing.

"Let's see just what you are made of Naruto." Gid grinned.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom wearing only a towel.

"Happy birthday!"

Naruto blinked as he took in the scene before him.

Lala was beaming at him, wearing only a bright pink ribbon in her hair. Naruto found himself stunned by her naked figure. Next to her stood Kushina, with the ribbon that she had worn on the night Nana and Momo had first met him. If she so much as sneezed she would break that ribbon and be completely naked.

Momo was wearing a black ribbon, which much like Kushina hid everything yet at the same time suggested that little effort would be required to remove said ribbon. She was hugging chest to chest with Nana who really looked like she didn't want to be there. Her blush had almost taken over her entire body which made her skin contrast nicely from the white ribbon she was wearing.

"Aren't you going to unwrap your presents?" Momo asked.

Naruto licked his lips and walked towards them as if in a trance when a sound from the window snapped him out of it.

"Best birthday present ever." A voice chuckled from outside his window. "And you said you didn't have a harem!"

"Ero-Jiji!" Naruto dived out of the window after the pervert. "Stop spying on my girls!"

"Did… did we just get cock blocked?" Kushina blinked.

"After I put this stupid ribbon on," Nana growled.

"…How much does Naruto love his grandfather?" Momo's eyes narrowed.

"Did Naruto call us his girls?" Lala asked.

The four girls paused and looked at each other before cheering. The newly formed Harem Lord's Lovers League had achieved a major victory. But this was just a skirmish. The war would be long and hard fought.

"I knew even his will power couldn't withstand an onslaught of this power!" Momo grinned. "But maybe a little extra firepower couldn't hurt."

"What do you mean?" Nana asked.

"There are other girls who like Naruto," Momo pointed out. "And we all know that Naruto won't want any of them to be hurt. If we get all of them to join us then we don't have to worry about Naruto stalling our relationships to stop someone else getting hurt!"

"You want to whore out Naru-chan?" Kushina asked. "I'm not happy about sharing him with you three never mind anymore."

"And how much success were you having before you joined forces with us?" Momo asked innocently.

"Gargh," Kushina flinched.

"I thought so." Momo smiled.

"I don't mind," Lala smiled. "So long as I am his first bride."

"If Ane-ue doesn't mind then I don't," Nana blushed and looked away.

"Tch," Kushina growled. "I guess I have no choice. Sharing Naru-chan is better than having no Naru-chan."

"I thought you'd see things my way." Momo beamed.

"It's a little cold now that Naruto has broken the window." Nana scowled.

"Let's wait for him under the covers," Kushina suggested.

"Ah a surprise ambush. As expected of my vice commander!" Momo nodded.

When Naruto returned from trying to kill his grandfather he would be in for one hell of a surprise.

* * *

The Politics of the Harem Lord's Lovers League

Empress: Lala Satalin Deviluke

High Commander: Momo Belia Deviluke [Uncage the Lust Party]

Vice Commander: Kushina Uzumaki [Uncage the Lust Party]

Leader of the Opposition: Nana Astar Deviluke [Responsible Lover Party]

Naruto's new Powers

If you ever watched Tenchi Muyo then Naruto's powers are essentially Ryoko's basic laser powers. Only rather than red lasers Naruto has blue ones.


	9. Chapter 9: Just another day in the life

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everyone! A few more girls are introduced in this chapter.

Oh and there is a poll to discuss any citrusy scenes on my profile. If you have a moment, pay a visit to my profile and let me know your opinion.

**SECOND DATE COMPETITION TIME!**

_**(As suggested by my Beta Reader seeing as we couldn't decide on who to give the second date to as she wanted Kushina and I wanted Yui.) **_

As a special Christmas gift to one lucky(ish) reader, I will write a date with the character of your choosing (so long as they have been introduced.) In order to win here's what you have to do.

Naruto sings a song in this chapter, if you send me a PM with the title [To Love 'Ruto Competition] saying the song name and artist along with the character you want to see get the next date. The winner will be selected at Random and announced when I upload the next chapter. Simples.

**Please don't leave a review for the competition**, it won't count and I don't want the reviews flooded with the answer. Admittedly you could probably just copy and paste the song into google to get the answer but at least then you tried to find it out. While a sudden increase in reviews would be nice I don't feel the need to try and up my review count like that. I'd prefer to get it up by writing chapters that people like. So if you don't have a fanfic account you can't enter. Maybe I'm being mean but this was the only way I could think of doing it. Besides a poll but I can almost guarantee who would win that so I figured this random element could make things interesting.

**Feel free to leave a review about the chapter though. In fact I appreciate the feedback. **

**End Competition Announcement**

Oh and one final thing that may upset some readers:

**HINATA WILL NOT BE IN THE HAREM!  
**She basically was just a cameo role. That's all. I don't even know if she'll show up again.

All of the Naruto characters are either villains or Cameos. None of them will be in the harem unless I have a change of heart later on. The only exception is Kushina but that's because apparently you love the crazy red haired milf. Or because you like Uzumakicest (I think that's right). Either way she's the only Naruto character in the harem. Sorry if this upsets you but there are plenty of Naruhina fanfics out there. Almost as many as there are NaruSasu ones. And on that bombshell...

Let's Begin

Disclaimer: You guys (and possibly gals) get the idea by this point.

* * *

Chapter 9: Just a day in the Life of a Harem Lord (or The Date Part 1)

Momo smirked as she beheld Naruto's naked form before her. He looked around nervously, clearing his throat, trying not to stare to obviously at the other completely naked people in the room: Momo, Nana (although she was hiding behind Lala), Lala and Kushina (who was trying to show as much as possible to Naruto whilst showing as little as possible to the other girls).

"Is this really necessary?" Naruto scowled.

"As a member of your harem…" Momo started.

"I don't have a harem," Naruto countered.

"Vote, Does Naruto have a harem?" Momo turned to her harem sisters.

"Yep," Kushina nodded.

"He's a perverted beast, of course he does." Nana muttered from behind Lala's back.

"Hai!" Lala smiled widely.

"That's four against one. Trust me if anyone should know you have a harem it's us." Momo smirked. "Seeing as we are it."

"I don't like you girls referring to yourselves as my harem though. It seems… demeaning." Naruto sighed. "I don't like the way it seems that you are my possessions."

"But we are," Momo smirked and sauntered over to Naruto. "Just as you are our possession. It's an equal trade."

"… I never thought about it like that before." Naruto stared into space.

"I mean, we all make each other happy right?" Lala tilted her head cutely. "So why is this wrong?"

"It… When you put it like that…" Naruto looked at the girls. "I see what you mean. How can I ever repay you for opening my eyes?"

"I vote Momo takes his virginity!" Lala nodded. "It's only fair. We wouldn't have got this far if not for her."

"Agreed," Kushina nodded.

"And maybe after she's done we can all love Naruto and each other… together." Nana declared.

"Well… if you insist," Momo walked towards Naruto.

"I may be inexperienced… but I will try my best to please you," Naruto whispered in her ear as his hands travelled down her stomach towards her… WHACK!

Momo scowled as she glared at her twin's foot. "The dream was getting to the good part," She growled as she waited for Nana to settle down. She and her twin were lying with their heads resting on Naruto chest. At least they had started out like that. Currently Nana had wrapped herself around one of his legs after somehow throwing the duvet on the floor, causing all of the girls to huddle closer to Naruto for warmth. Momo had managed to claim the side of him where his heart was and the sound had lulled her to sleep. Unfortunately her twin was a restless sleeper and moved around a lot in her sleep yet she had failed to wake up anyone so far. Well except Momo who was rubbing her cheek and wondering if it would bruise in the morning.

Naruto had returned exhausted after trying (and failing) to kick the crap out of his grandfather. Turns out the crazy old man could hold his own in a fight. Had Naruto not been operating on the most basic level of thought, seeing as all his higher brain functions had short circuited at the 'Birthday Present' the girls had gotten him, he might have found it peculiar that his grandfather was able to give him a solid thrashing even while Naruto was using his aura. When he had finally returned he had thrown most of his clothes on the floor and crawled under the sheets, realised the girls had no intention of leaving and fell to sleep. So instead of the night of debauchery that Momo had planned, they had made themselves comfortable and decided to call it a night. After all they had got Naruto to react to them. That proved he liked them. Now all Momo had to do was get him to lose that self-control that he so cherished. That self-control that had faltered that night only for Jiraiya to ruin the moment.

"Although seeing you all possessive over me and the others made me feel warm inside," Momo muttered as she snuggled into Naruto's chest. "I'd bet even Nana would have done anything that you asked after that."

Nana merely rolled over again in her sleep and kicked Momo in the stomach.

"Tch," Momo rubbed the injury before glancing at Naruto's sleeping face. The face of the man she loved. It was strange seeing him at peace like this. She felt special getting to see him with his guard down. She huddled into the area that she had claimed at hers. Each of them would have their spot (Although Momo's initial request of his crotch was denied by everyone. Apparently that was community property).

Kushina and Lala had taken his arms, laying one either side of him as usual. As official members of the Harem Lord Lover's League (Momo was planning on getting them a club t shirt or jacket or something), they were expected to share Naruto's bed. At least Momo said it was their responsibility that should Naruto get the urge to have his way with them he should have a full selection of harem members at his beck and call as he entered the bed and asked why they were all there.

Naruto had said, "The chances of me waking up and just suddenly ravaging one of you is slim. I do have better control of my emotions than that." Clearly choosing to forget the last half hour. Maybe Jiraiya hit him hard enough to forget all about that…

Momo had replied with, "You said slim, not non-existent. Plus you said you had control of your emotions. That means you do want to ravage us but are holding yourself back." Funnily enough Nana seemed to nod in support of this.

"Are you going to pick apart everything I say?" Naruto had sighed.

"Are you going to stop us getting in your bed?"

"If I couldn't stop Lala I doubt I'll have any more success with you two." Naruto had conceded, "I guess I shouldn't complain. Sharing a bed with such cute girls is probably what most guy's dream of."

"And what do you dream of?" Lala had asked him.

Naruto response was to smile and say, "To make my precious people happy." And then he had fallen to sleep just as Momo was planning to say, "Do you know what would make us feel _really _happy?"

"I've been a bad girl, Naruto-sensei…" Kushina mumbled in her sleep. "Punish me… Hehehe." She drooled with a perverted laugh.

"Great," Momo sighed to herself as she envisioned a class room where Naruto was 'disciplining' her. "Between this and Nana's kicks… I'm not getting to sleep again."

"I can't say the same for the kicks but you'll eventually tune Kushina out," Naruto told her.

"…How long have you been awake?" Momo asked.

"Since Nana elbowed me in the stomach, shortly before she kicked you in yours." Naruto admitted. "I think you said something about being warm when I woke up."

"But… you didn't show any signs of waking up." Momo looked up at Naruto.

"Meh, it's one of my many useless talents," He opened a weary blue eye and looked at Momo. "What time is it? I'd look myself but both my arms are pinned down and I don't want to wake Lala or my mother."

"It's three in the morning."

"Great," Naruto yawned. "I'm going back to sleep wake me at…" He suddenly froze eyes wide open.

"Naruto?" Momo sat up then she realised the issue. Nana had somehow ended up with her head resting on Naruto's crotch, which she was proceeding to rub her head against, as if it were a pillow and she was trying to get comfortable. Momo grinned. "It appears that Nana has found something she likes."

"Please get her off." Naruto whispered.

"Why… Are you getting aroused by a young girl rubbing against your crotch?" Momo whispered as she crawled to Naruto's face and sat on his chest. "You never did unwrap your present. But your hands seem to be full. Here… let me help you." She grabbed a hold of the ribbon and gave it a subtle tug, snapping the ribbon and causing it to fall.

Naruto found himself thanking the fact it was three in the morning and quite dark. Between Nana's unintentional ministrations and a naked Momo on his chest, Naruto feared he might do something he'd regret.

"Lala says you've already fondled her breasts," Momo purred.

"Er… I guess that's true," Naruto remember how he and Lala first met. _'Who'd have thought how my life would change from that one meeting.' _He turned to look at Lala who was hugging his arm and sleeping with a soft smile on her face. _'Thank you Lala. I love you.' _

"Good," Momo smiled and repositioned herself so she could move Naruto's lower arm without disturbing Lala.

"What are you… oh…?" Naruto gulped uneasily.

"I know they are not as big as Onee-sama's," Momo whispered. "But I'm pretty proud of my figure. How are they?"

"Soft," Naruto squeezed softly earning a moan from Momo. "Ah sorry!" He tried to pull his hand from her breast but she stopped him.

"Don't apologise," Momo smiled. "I… enjoyed it. Please do it again."

"Momo…" Naruto whispered.

"Ecchi." A monotonous voice remarked. "I hate ecchi."

"Momo," Naruto's voice lost all of its sensual nature. "Is there someone who shouldn't be in this room… in this room?"

"…Maybe."

"Did you not tell me that your security system was impossible to bypass?"

"I may have exaggerated."

"May have? My old man managed to sneak in here and now… sorry what's your name?"

"I am the Golden Darkness and I am here to kill Naruto Uzumaki."

"Right," Naruto returned his attention back to Momo who had frozen. "That name familiar to you?"

"How much are you being paid?" Momo ignored Naruto and turned to face the intruder. An expressionless face stared back at her.

"Naruto Uzumaki is my target."

"Whatever you are being paid I'll double it," Momo challenged. "Naruto here will be the emperor and will reward you in any way you want! Money or maybe something physical if you prefer."

"…Something ecchi?"

"I that's what you'd prefer," Momo nodded as the blonde girl seemed to pause. Then her hair turned into blades that rocketed towards the bed.

"I hate ecchi."

"Didn't you hear her the first time she said that," Naruto sighed as he leapt out of the bed. Lala and Kushina over his shoulders whilst Nana continued to cling to his leg. "Listen, if you want to try and kill me fine but first let me put these girls somewhere safe."

"…Why?"

"Why?" Naruto tilted his head at the blonde assassin. "Because they are important people to me. That's why I want them to be safe. Surely you have someone you want to protect."

"I have no one." Golden Darkness replied bluntly.

"No one?" Naruto laid Lala and Kushina down on the discarded duvet before managing to pry Nana off of his leg. "There's nobody who you would protect. Nobody you care about?"

"I have no one. I am alone." Golden Darkness replied.

"I don't like it," Naruto sighed. "A cute little girl like you shouldn't have such a dead expression on their face."

"Cute?" The blonde tilted her head slightly, "You mean me?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "Hasn't anyone ever called you that before?"

"It doesn't matter. You are my target. I must kill you."

"Must? What happens if you don't?"

"…" There was no response, only her hair changing back into blades as she dived at Naruto.

"I guess the time for talking is up huh?" Naruto sighed as he leapt out of the room grabbing his jacket from the floor, closely followed by Golden Darkness.

"I have to do something!" Momo twirled her hair before surveying her troops. She had an unconscious Kushina who was mumbling something about whips and chains. Lala who was snuggling up to the duvet, homing in on where Naruto's scent was the strongest. Nana had wrapped herself around one of the legs of the bed. Okay so that HLLL was useless at this moment of time. "Who could have sent the Golden Darkness after Naruto? Papa? No… that's not his way. She can't marry any of us so he wouldn't bother sending her. Who else could it be? Maybe Onee-sama knows?" Nana turned to her sleeping sister with a frown. Whoever it was… they would pay for interrupting her time with Naruto. Oh they'd pay.

Meanwhile Naruto and Golden Darkness were fighting in the street, or at least she was attacking and Naruto was dodging.

"Oh you nearly got me there." Naruto smiled softly as he dodged another furious barrage of blade strikes. "Are you sure we can't just talk this out? I'm guessing that you weren't sent by Gid as he would only send someone who could marry Lala." _'And I'd really appreciate not having to fight in a pair of boxer shorts and a jacket. It offers no protection and it is cold first thing in the morning at this time of the year. _

A flicker of annoyance passed across the assassin's face. "You have impressive reflexes. Why do you not counter attack? I heard that you are not the type to go easy on a female opponent."

"Trust me, if you left me an opening to counter attack I would take it. As much as I'd hate to hit a cute girl such as yourself if I die then that would upset Lala and Kushina so if it's all the same to you then I'd prefer to stay alive." Naruto grinned. He was feeling a little winded but thanks to his aura was in no danger of running out of the steam just yet. He leapt backwards as the transforming assassin turned her hair into a large mace and pulverised the pavement where he had been standing a moment before. "Thanks for attacking me at this time," Naruto gestured around, "With no civilians I don't have to worry about getting anyone innocent involved."

"…Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" Naruto paused. "I guess I don't want any innocent parties getting hurt."

"…That does not make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"My data on you says you are a sexual deviant who threatened Lala Deviluke into a marriage and cares little for the safety of others so long as he fulfils his own sexual cravings."

"…" Naruto rubbed his temple. "And who the hell said that?"

"…That is not important." She frowned. "My intel seems to be out. I must recollect data for myself." She muttered before leaping away from Naruto, leaving him alone in the middle of a battle scarred street with nothing but his boxers and a school jacket.

"Well…" Naruto blinked. "That happened." He shook his head and began the walk home when suddenly a limo pulled up next to him.

"Excuse me," A kind elderly voice called out. "Would you happen to be Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?" Naruto asked as the window wound down. There was no response other than a dart to fire out of the window and hit Naruto in the neck. "Bitch please," Naruto mocked as he pulled the dart out. "It'll take more than that to take me down! What is this? Some sort of poison?" He muttered examining the dart.

Apparently the person in the limo took that as a challenge as Naruto suddenly found himself being peppered by the darts.

"Yeah…" Naruto staggered woozily as thirty or so darts were stuck into all of the exposed flesh on his body. "That'd do it." He collapsed on the street with a snore.

A maid climbed out of the limo and walked over to Naruto, before kicking him hard in the chest.

"He is already unconscious Hanabi-chan." An elderly butler stepped from the other limo door.

"I was just checking, Kujai-san." The maid replied simply before dragging Naruto towards the boot of the limo where she tossed him inside. "It would be an insult to my honour as a maid to fail in completely subduing the target as requested by our mistress."

"Are you getting maids and mercenaries mixed up again?" The butler wondered as they climbed back in the car and drove away.

* * *

"Good morning Lala-sama," Zastin entered the house with a pleasant smile. "I come bearing your allowance!"

"Allowance?" Kushina blinked. The girls were all gathered around the table and carrying out an emergency meeting. They had been talking for hours and all they had decided on was that Lacospo had to pay for his actions. Kushina was all for killing the assassin. Lala and Nana were hoping they could avoid fighting her and Momo… Momo was trying to figure out where Naruto was. The drone that had been tailing him must have been destroyed fighting Yami and the replacement drone she had sent out had yet to find where the blonde haired hero had gotten to.

"That's right. Gid-sama has no desire for his daughters to live in poverty so he has been sending them money." Zastin nodded.

"…And yet I haven't received any rent money." Kushina sighed. "What do you spend it on?"

"Where do you think the money for the parts I needed for the security system came from?"

"Did you keep a receipt because I think it's defective," Kushina remarked. "I hope your dad never decides to sneak in. We'll all be dead."

"On the subject of Papa," Momo looked at Zastin. "Do you know if he has hired the Golden Darkness to kill Naruto?"

"Of course not," Zastin looked appalled. "If he wanted Naruto-dono dead he would kill him himself!"

"I figured as much," Momo sighed. "That means we have an unknown entity who wants Naruto dead and has the contacts required to hire her."

"Like who?" Lala asked.

"I was hoping you might know someone Onee-sama," Momo asked. "I mean you have an entire galaxy of suitors. Can you think of any who would have the money and contacts to hire the Golden Darkness?"

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "I don't think so! Besides what does it matter about my suitors," Lala pouted. "They just don't get that I want to be with Naruto!"

"Hehehe," A strange voice chuckled. "I would begin to rethink that policy Lala-tan!"

"Lacospo?" Lala jumped away from the small alien. "What are you doing here?"

"Seriously?" Kushina turned to Momo. "Is that security system even turned on?"

"Shut up," Momo crossed her arms. "I based it on Onee-sama's designs!"

"I am here to pick you up!" Lacospo declared. "After all you and I are getting married!"

"Nu-uh," Lala pulled a face, "I'm marrying Naruto!"

"How can you marry a corpse?" Lacospo smirked. "After all The Golden Darkness is a super assassin! A mere human can't stop her!"

"Let me show you just what a _mere_ human can do!" Kushina growled as she grabbed the alien and started throttling him. "**Call off the assassin. NOW." **She growled.

"Can't do… that…" Lacospo choked. "Must… win… Lala…" He pressed a button on his sleeve and disappeared from sight.

"Damn he teleported away," Momo scowled.

"I will go and defend Naruto-dono," Zastin declared.

"I'm going too." Kushina growled. "Nobody hurts my Naru-chan!"

"Me too," Lala declared.

"I suppose someone has to save that perverted beast," Nana mumbled as she pulled out her d-dial.

"Let's go save our future husband then," Momo agreed. "But first… does anyone have any idea where he might have gone?"

* * *

There was a sudden splash of cold water on his face that forced Naruto to wake up. He was tied to a chair in the middle of a basement. Stood before him was what looked like a slightly shorter and incredibly angrier Hinata wearing a maid's outfit stood next to an old man in a butler's uniform who looked vaguely familiar to Naruto. The maid was holding a suspiciously empty bucket.

"…You know I should probably be more surprised by this but at this point of my life, nothing serves to surprise me anymore." Naruto sighed. "You look familiar, have I seen you before?" He looked at the butler.

"I believe you have met my daughter before." The butler smiled. "You may have seen me with her at some point."

"Your daughter?" Naruto wracked his brains trying to think of someone who shared the man's face.

"I believe you were supposed to fight alongside her in a kendo championship game a couple of years ago." The butler informed.

"Ah," Naruto's shoulders drooped. "Rin Kujou… you're her father?"

"Indeed," The man nodded, "My name is Kai Kujou and I am here to ask you some questions on behalf of Saki-sama."

"Saki?" Naruto frowned. "Isn't she the self-styled queen of Sainan High? What does she want with me?"

"Hohohoho!" A shrill laugh sounded from the basement. "I was worried that a thug of your reputation would be difficult to apprehend!" A blonde haired girl walked down waving a wooden folding fan in front of her face. She wore the Sainan High outfit although Naruto could admit she wore it better than most. Not as impressive as Lala but still a pretty cute girl. "I believe you hold some Intel that would be quite useful for me."

"Saki-sama," The maid and butler bowed slightly.

"I suppose I should be honoured," Naruto replied drily. "As much as I would love to talk to you can you let me go? I have a date later today and I don't want to miss it."

"A date?" Saki blinked.

"Yes a date," Naruto replied.

"If you help me I'll give you permission to take me on one date," Saki smiled, "And you would be the envy of all your friends, having taken me on a date."

"Sorry but I'll pass." Naruto let out a sigh. "Lala is more my type of girl."

There was an almighty crack as Saki snapped the folding fan she was carrying.

"So… this Lala is more appealing than me…" Saki scowled. "It appears the rumours are true!"

"What?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"Lala Deviluke seeks to usurp my throne," Saki bit her nail, "So… she thinks she can overthrow me?"

"I'm pretty sure Lala doesn't even know you exist." Naruto deadpanned.

"Gargh!" Saki clutched her heart. "She… she doesn't even acknowledge me?! I see. Two can play at that game! I won't surrender the title of Queen of Sainan High without a fight!"

"First things first, that's a title you made up. Nobody calls you that. Secondly Lala has no interest in that."

"But the boys in school all have an interest in her!"

"…They do?" Naruto blinked. "I mean I know she is cute and all but she's my girlfriend. Surely they know that sniffing around her is only going to end up with me kicking their asses?"

"That won't stop them from admiring her from afar," Saki remarked. "Do you actually think that I let any of those commoners near me? They all know they have no chance with me. That makes me all the more desirable."

"Really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "If being distant was what made you popular, it is the opposite with Lala. She is warm and welcoming. That's why people like her. And possible because she has a killer figure as well I suppose," Naruto added as an afterthought.

"But can her figure compare to mine?" Saki asked.

"To be honest she kind of has you beat." Naruto admitted.

"Argh!" Saki staggered as if she'd been hit. "No… I refuse to accept defeat! I will defeat this Lala and prove my superiority! The school Christmas festival is approaching… I will use this festival as the battle ground that will cause Lala's coup d'état to fail!"

"Good luck with that," Naruto remarked dryly as Saki left the basement. "So…" he turned to the maid and the butler, "Is this a kidnapping or can I leave now?"

"You may leave," The butler smiled as he cut Naruto free (not that he needed to. With his aura Naruto could have broken free at any point), "I trust you will not speak of what happened here."

"Because I know the police would be interested in the street that you destroyed you terrorist." Hanabi threatened as she drew a Taser that sparked at him. "And these pictures of you will be revealed to your girlfriend!" The maid drew out a collection of pictures that showed Naruto touching her inappropriately.

"I don't remember doing that!" Naruto blinked.

"We'll see who your girlfriend believes shall we?" The maid grinned evilly.

"Tch," Naruto scowled. "Fine I won't tell anyone. But if Saki tries to hurt Lala then I'll have to get involved you hear me?"

"I am sure Saki-sama will win the competition honourably," Kai smiled.

"Trust me," Naruto massaged his wrists to get the blood flowing again. "If she wants to beat Lala she'll have to cheat. Lala would demolish her in a fair contest."

"We shall see," Kai smiled as he escorted Naruto out of the grounds.

"Yeah we will." Naruto remarked dryly as he left the building. His phone (which he had left in his jacket) vibrated and he pulled it out to find he had a message from an Unknown Number. Opening it he read.

[Remember. Not a Word or the police shall be informed about your terrorism and pictures shall be dispersed to those you love.] – Unknown Number

"…Save contact as Psycho Maid," Naruto remarked dryly before continuing home. Hey a contact was a contact.

He walked down the street and froze as he saw a familiar face staring at him. "Well this hasn't happened for a while," He thought aloud.

"Uzumaki-san!" Yui Kotegawa pointed at him furiously, "Why are you walking around in just a jacket and your boxers…" She blushed and looked away. "And why are you soaking wet?"

"I was kidnapped by…"

The phone vibrated and Naruto opened his text messages.

[Maybe this girl would like to see those pictures.] – Psycho Maid.

"Naruto-san?" Yui asked. "You were kidnapped?"

"I…" Naruto sighed, "Was attacked by an alien assassin when I was in bed, so I was unable to get dressed properly before escaping. I fell into a pond whilst trying to escape."

"Do you enjoy telling such obvious lies?" Yui frowned. "Whilst I believe that you fell in a pond, an alien assassin attacking you? Do you have an overactive imagination or something?"

"Wait… you believe the pond part?" Naruto blinked. _'That's the only part that is a lie!' _

"Is that a problem?" Yui's eyes narrowed.

"No," Naruto laughed uneasily. "Actually I'm glad I ran into you."

"You are?" Yui blushed.

"Yeah, I mean… there's a question I wanted to ask you. I mean you are one of the girls who I can call one of my closest friends." Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"O…Of course," Yui smiled happily. "If I can help I will."

"Great!" Naruto smiled. "What would you do on a date?"

"On a date?" Yui tried to cover her face. '_Is he asking me to find out whether we had a date or not?' _

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Well…" Yui tried to avoid Naruto's eyes. "I suppose I would go to a café or something with the person I like and talk to them about the future and maybe share a desert with them. Either that or go to a local attraction that has just opened up," Yui nodded in the direction of an advertisement board that showed the new aquarium that had just opened up.

"I see," Naruto looked thoughtful, "Kind of like when you and I went to that café after school then?"

"Yeah," Yui blushed intensely. "Like that I suppose."

"I hope your boyfriend didn't get the wrong idea then," Naruto laughed causing Yui to freeze up.

"Pardon?"

"Your boyfriend," Naruto tilted his head, "Risa said that you were dating someone. It really shocked her. Me too to be honest. I'm glad that you've found someone though. But if he ever upsets you just let me know and I'll kick his ass for you Yui-chan."

"T…Thanks," Yui finished weakly. _'Damn it! Why did I have to lie to Risa? If my brother hadn't have backed me up she wouldn't have believed me. Now Naruto thinks I am dating someone and he is too honourable to try anything with a girl in a relationship… Not that I would want him any other way though.' _

"Well I'd best be going," Naruto smiled. "I've got a date with Lala to plan. See you Yui-chan!" He ran towards his house leaving a shell shocked Yui behind. She walked home in a daze.

"Welcome home!" Yuu turned to her sister as she staggered into the house. "You remember Akiho-chan right?"

"Hi…" Yui replied emotionlessly as she walked to her room.

"Man," Yuu sighed softly. "I feel for my little sis. She had a major crush on this guy in her year but she can't seem to get her feelings across."

"Tell me about it," Akiho nodded. "Mine's the same. Apparently she had two classmates that she likes but she turned one down because her friend also liked the same guy. But now she can't bring herself to tell the other one how she feels because she doesn't want to hurt the first guy's feelings."

"Man… high school is complicated," Yuu shook his head.

"Do you want me to have a word with her?" Akiho asked.

"It couldn't hurt," Yuu admitted. "But don't take too long. The movie starts in a couple of hours and we need to get to the restaurant before we see the film."

"Yeah, yeah," Akiho waved Yuu's concerns off lazily. The boy seemed far more invested in this relationship than she was. Still he was kind of cute and generous. Not to say the date where they fled the maid café without paying was… actually kind of fun. Shaking her head she knocked on Yui's door.

"I'm busy," Yui's voice came out muffled.

"It's me," Akiho smiled. "Your brother says you could do with a pep talk on your love life."

"… Come in," Yui muttered.

Akiho entered Yui's room and glanced around. "You like cat's huh?" She remarked seeing the cat plush dolls.

"Yeah, they're cute," Yui sat up on her bed. It looked like she had been crying.

"I'm more of a dog person myself. So… what's a matter?" Akiho sat beside Yui.

"I… I really think I like this guy in my year." Yui admitted. "He's a little… unruly at times but I know he is a good person. I've always done everything to be near him even if it put us at odds sometimes. But he never seemed to get annoyed at me. Lately we seemed to be getting closer but I just found out that he has a girlfriend now. And to make matters worse he found out that I said I had a boyfriend when some other girls were… I suppose bullying me for not having one so he thinks I am in a relationship too and doesn't know how I feel about him."

"I see," Akiho nodded. "That is a little bit of a dilemma but here's my advice."

"Yes?"

"So long as you are breathing you can still fight," Akiho gave her a thumbs up. "Girlfriends come and go but trues lovers will stay connected by the red thread of fate. Don't surrender just because the battle isn't going your way. Stand and be counted!"

"You're right," Yui clenched her fists. "If I back down now then all the ground I've gained so far would be for nothing. Thank you er… I'm sorry I don't know what your family name is."

"Sarenji," Akiho smiled.

"Thank you Sarenji-san," Yui bowed. "Do you have a little sister?"

"Yeah," Akiho nodded, "That would be Haruna. Do you know her?"

"We've met." Yui nodded.

"I'm glad," Akiho got off of the bed. "She needs more reliable friends. All she has at the moment are the two touchy sisters, Risa and Mio I think they are called. Well I suppose there is Naruto as well but… I guess that is the definition of 'It's complicated.'"

"Huh?" Yui blinked.

"Don't worry about it," Akiho smiled. "Just focus on your love okay?"

"Okay!" Yui nodded. _'I can't give in just yet. That warm feeling I get when I'm with Naruto is too precious to throw away over such a slight hiccup!' _

* * *

Haruna smiled to herself as she walked Maron down the street, the excitable dog was sniffing around and suddenly froze as it smelt a strange smell. Maron being a dog of the world had smelt quite a few odd smells but this one was really odd. Not unpleasant but so unusual to the learned dog that he felt he had to investigate. He found the source of the smell to be a young girl who was wearing a strange gothic Lolita dress and staring up at the sky.

"Who are you?" Maron barked, not really expecting an answer. Humans never seemed to answer the questions he asked and they always mistranslated what he was saying. Usually they thought he was asking them to stroke him or give him something to eat. It must be difficult being so large and stupid, Maron thought to himself.

"Nana," Nana responded without thinking.

"Pardon?" Haruna blinked.

"Huh?" Nana snapped out of her day dream. "Sorry I was thinking aloud."

"Did you understand me?" Maron blinked.

"Yes," Nana replied.

"Yes what?" Haruna paused uncertainly.

"I was just speaking to your dog," Nana smiled. "Sorry that probably sounded weird. I'm Nana, it's nice to meet you. What are you doing out this early on a Sunday? I was told that most people liked to sleep in."

"My name is Haruna Sarenji, but you can call me Haruna. I was just walking Maron-chan here, How about you?"

"Maron Sarenji at your service," Maron barked.

"Nice to meet you Haruna-san, you too Maron-san," Nana thought the name sounded familiar but shrugged it off. "I was looking for a friend who went missing earlier today."

"Oh, what does he look like?" Haruna asked with a smile.

"Well… he usually has a dopy look on his face and he has blonde hair. He is kind of scruffy but in a good looking way and has a tendency to get himself into dangerous situations without really trying."

"He sounds like a friend of mine," Haruna smiled. "What's his name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki," Nana replied.

"Oh…" Haruna blinked. "It is the same person as I was thinking of."

"Oh the human who wanted to mate with her," Maron replied.

"W… WHAT?!" Nana cried out.

"Er... Is it that much of a surprise?" Haruna blinked. "I don't think there are that many blondes around here."

"Oh…. Er nothing," Nana laughed weakly. "I was just surprised that he had a female friend."

"I suppose you could say he was my first male friend," Haruna smiled softly. "Back then he didn't have many friends."

"And she was happier then," Maron remarked. "You should have seen how much happier she was when the blonde possible mate walked into the room. I haven't seen him in a while. I wonder if he is okay. Maybe when she rejected his mating call he left the area."

"Really?" Nana answered both the dog and his owner. "That's hard to imagine."

"I know," Haruna smiled softly. "You'd think that someone with his warm personality would have plenty of friends but most people judge him by his looks. It isn't fair that such a gentle soul is treated so poorly."

"I remember her crying once when the blonde mate was suspended from school after he beat up a bully that was picking on her. The bully claimed that the blonde mate had started a fight with him for no reason and because the blonde mate has blonde hair, apparently that meant it must have been him. I don't understand why humans make decisions based on appearance rather than the facts. I had to try extra hard with my special cheerful lick to cheer her up." Maron remarked.

"I…" Nana fought back her curiosity to ask just what a special cheerful lick was. "Have you seen him recently?"

"Not today I'm afraid," Haruna shook her head.

"I could try and smell him if you like," Maron volunteered. "I am descended from hunting dogs and I know the blonde mate's smell."

"Do you think Maron could find him?" Nana asked

"She doesn't understand a word I say. Watch this."

"I don't know," Haruna kneeled down to face Maron. "Could you smell Uzumaki-san Maron?"

"Aardvark elephant grapefruit." Maron barked excitedly.

"Good boy," Haruna praised.

"See what I mean," Maron barked before sniffing the air. "I smell a somewhat familiar smell… this way!" Maron set off followed by Haruna and Nana.

* * *

Naruto picked up his pace. It was getting dangerously close to the time when people would start walking the streets and Naruto had still to get home. Unfortunately Saki lived a considerable distance from his house. As he ran by Rito's house he noticed there was a smashed window and the door was slightly ajar.

"… Damn it," Naruto muttered as he crept over to the door and peered inside. The house was a mess. "Mikan-chan would never let the house get this messed up. Someone must be robbing them!" He grinned. "At least… they were until I showed up." He cracked his knuckles and tried the door, smirking as it opened without a sound.

As he entered the house, he crept slowly down the hallway, ears straining for the sounds of movement. There was a creak of a floor board and Naruto slowly honed in on the sound. He saw a door slightly ajar and could hear someone breathing on the other side. He got ready to wrench the door open when he heard a noise from behind and turned to face the flanking attacker only to be struck in the face with a pan.

"Ouch," Naruto rubbed his nose as the door opened and Rito leapt out with a baseball bat and struck Naruto on the head. "Damn it!"

"Naruto-san?" Mikan lowered the pan.

"Naruto?" Rito dropped the bat, "Sorry!"

"What the hell happened here?" Naruto rubbed his head. "I saw the house looked like a bomb site as I was passing by and thought you were being robbed."

"… What are you doing walking around town in that attire at this time?" Mikan asked uncertainly.

"Would you believe I was kidnapped by…?" His phone vibrated.

[I'm sure this little girl would love to know that you are a sex pest] – Psycho Maid.

"Kidnapped?" Mikan's eyes widened. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine," Naruto laughed weakly as he pocketed his phone. Mikan ran into the kitchen and starting searching for something.

"You should inform the police!" Rito advised.

"I don't think you should be worrying about me at this moment." Naruto got up. "Was anything taken?"

"No…" Rito shrugged. "Whoever broke in either took something that I didn't know we had or searched for something and left when they couldn't find it. We wouldn't have realised they were there if they hadn't have woken up Mikan when they entered her room. She was absolutely terrified. She still is. She's just very good at hiding her feelings."

"Poor girl," Naruto frowned. "Your room is supposed to be your safe haven."

"She's probably going to struggle to sleep on her own." Rito shook his head sadly.

"Yeah…" Naruto frowned. _'If not for the whole aliens constantly trying to kill me thing, I would offer them shelter at my house. Unfortunately that would probably just put them in more danger. Plus I'm not sure how to explain the whole aliens and marriage business to them. Rito may know about Lala but I don't want my friends to think I am some sort of sexual deviant gathering a harem of alien women. And that's before they meet Kushina…' _

"Here," Mikan returned with a first aid kit. "Let me see your injuries."

"I'm fine Mikan-chan," Naruto ruffled her hair, earning a glare. "Do your parents know about this?"

"Yeah," Mikan nodded. "I called Dad and he said that he would arrange for us to sleep somewhere else until the house is fixed. He was just here a few moments ago."

"I'll tell you what," Naruto pulled out his phone, "I'll give you my number, that way if you think you see the robber again I'll come straight over and deal with them for you."

"You mean that?" Mikan paused.

"Of course," Naruto smiled softly. "I don't know if you've heard but I am quite skilled at dealing with lowlifes."

"Well… if you insist," Mikan looked at her brother, "I mean you don't have any objections do you?"

"Why would I?"

"Just making sure you wouldn't be depressed that your little sister got a guy's number before you got a girls." Mikan grinned.

"That's hardly fair," Naruto pointed out. "You are a cute girl who will be beating the guys off with a stick and he is…" Naruto paused.

"Yeah…" Mikan and Naruto stared at Rito.

"If you're going to pick on me I'm leaving," Rito muttered sullenly causing Mikan and Naruto to laugh.

"Anyway," Rito smiled as Mikan ran to get her phone. "Thanks Naruto."

"What for?"

"For cheering Mikan up," Rito shook his head. "She always tries to act mature but she is just a little girl. I know I'm not very dependable and that causes her to worry about me. I think that she likes you being around to keep me out of trouble."

"It's my pleasure," Naruto smiled, "Remember if you think the robber has returned or even just want to talk you have my number."

"Right," Rito turned as Mikan returned with her phone.

"So… What's your number?" Mikan asked.

"Here you go," Naruto smiled as he exchanged numbers with Mikan who seemed far happier than someone who had just been robbed should be. "Well I'll be gone. Remember, whether you see the robber or just want someone to talk to, you've both got my number."

"Right," Mikan hugged the phone to her chest.

"Just one thing before you go," Rito stopped Naruto.

"Yeah?"

"…Do you want to borrow a pair of trousers?"

With Lala and Zastin

"Have you seen this person?" Zastin held up a poster of Naruto to a random bystander. As he was expecting to have to fight an assassin he was wearing full battle armour. Unfortunately this was making the people he was asking very uncomfortable.

"Er… No I'm sorry!" The innocent bystander ran away.

"Have you seen this person?" Lala asked holding up a picture of Naruto to a group of three thugs.

"No sweet thing," the middle sized of the three smirked, "But I do have something that you'll like."

"Oh really?" Lala tilted her head.

"My little friend here," He grabbed his crotch. "Don't let his name full you though, he aint little at all."

"Wow smooth boss." A small and fat one commented.

"That's the boss for you," A deep voiced giant remarked.

"I don't have time to play," Lala remarked pulling out her D-Dial, "But I can leave a friend for you! This is Bite-Bite Sharky-kun!" A giant flying robot shark with razor teeth appeared and eyed the thugs hungrily.

"Flee!" The three ran away, the rocket powered shark taking bites out of their clothing as they ran away.

Lala watched them go with an entirely too innocent smile.

"Lala-sama," Zastin walked up to her. "Have you had any luck?"

"No," Lala pouted. "No one seems to have seen him at all."

There was a buzzing noise as the comms crystal Zastin carried started to vibrate.

"Who is that?"

"It's Gid-sama!" Zastin paled. "He will probably want to speak to Naruto-dono!"

"Just tell him that Naruto is unavailable." Lala blinked.

"But if he thinks Naruto has ran away from you he might destroy the planet!" Zastin pointed out.

"Then just make something up!"

"But I am terrible at lying to Gid-sama!" Zastin wailed.

"ANSWER THE DAMN CALL!" Gid yelled through the crystal.

"Hello?" Zastin held out his palm with the crystal hovering above it.

"I didn't become the emperor of the galaxy just so people could ignore my calls," Gid growled.

"I apologise Gid-sama. I was busy running an errand." Zastin remarked.

"Oh? What sort of errand is a knight of my elite order running?"

"Er… I was… shepherding lizards."

"… What?"

"I mean I was… er…" Zastin started sweating furiously.

"You know what? I don't care." Gid remarked. "Where is that Naruto?"

"He is unavailable." Zastin responded.

"Oh? Unavailable is he? Well that's fair enough. NOT! Nobody is unavailable for the emperor of the galaxy!" Gid yelled. "Get him here now!"

"Er…" Zastin glanced at Lala only to find she had wondered off somewhere. Zastin closed his eyes and tried to mimic Naruto's voice. "Hello?"

"…Zastin," Gid sighed, "Are you trying to imitate Naruto?"

"No?"

"Good, because this crystal has a camera that allows me to see you. And if you were still stupid enough to try… I would have to destroy you along with the planet on which you are stood to stop the spread of stupid."

"Right."

"Anyway you are to tell Naruto to prepare himself for I personally will be arriving on Earth to judge him. Understood?"

"Yes Gid-sama," Zastin watched as the crystal lost its glow and he pocketed it again. "Oh this is not going to end well." Zastin looked around. "Now where has Lala gotten to?"

* * *

Naruto smiled as he walked down the street. Rito and Mikan had managed to get him some shoes and a pair of trousers, which Naruto promised to return. Fortunately neither of them seemed that put out by him suddenly appearing wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and his jacket.

"Naruto!"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to face a beaming Lala. "I found you!"

"I didn't realise I was missing," Naruto tilted his head. "Why didn't you try ringing my phone if you wanted to find me?"

"I thought you would be busy fighting the assassin Momo told us about." Lala beamed.

"Ah, her." Naruto laughed weakly. "Apparently her intel was off so she retreated in order to collect her own data."

"I see," Lala frowned softly. "I suppose we'd best postpone our date for now."

"There's no need for that," Naruto smiled at Lala. "A little thing like someone trying to kill me isn't going to stop our date."

"Really?" Lala beamed.

"Really," Naruto laughed, "Let's just get home and get prepared."

"Right!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm as he started walking home. "What are we going to do for our date?"

"That's a surprise," Naruto smiled.

"Muu…" Lala pouted cutely. "Can't you give me a clue?"

"I think you'll find it fun," Naruto smiled.

"That's not much of a clue," Lala pointed out.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise." Naruto laughed as the two made their way home.

"I'm home," Naruto called out. "Huh… guess nobody else is home."

"We all went looking for you," Lala smiled.

"Man, that makes me feel loved," Naruto admitted before giving Lala a quick hug. "I'm going to get showered and changed."

"Are you sure you don't want to share a bath with me?" Lala asked innocently.

"…Maybe later," Naruto smiled. "Let's see how the date goes first ok?"

"Hai!" Lala beamed as she walked towards the bathrooms.

Naruto watched her go with a smile before heading to his room and into his on-suite bathroom. As the warm water washed over himself he let out a happy sigh. '_My first date with a girl… I hope I don't mess it up. I don't think Lala would mind but even so I need to repay her for all she's done for me. Hard to think that she's barely been here a month and I'm already this in love with her." _Naruto started singing to himself as he showered.

"Take another look, take a look around.  
It's you and me, it's here and now.  
As you sparkle in the sky, I'll catch you while I can  
'Cause all we are is all I am.  
I just want you to see, what I've always believed.  
You are the miracle in me."

"Someone's in a good mood."

"Gargh!" Naruto jumped out of his skin and poked his head out of the shower. "Ero-Jiji?"

"Sup!" Jiraiya was sat on Naruto's bed, a cheesy grin in place. "So it looks like the word on the grapevine is right! You have a date!"

"So what?" Naruto challenged as he got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel before entering his room.

"What do you have planned?" Jiraiya asked as he started going through the wardrobes.

"I was going to take Lala to the aquarium," Naruto remarked.

"Lame," Jiraiya pulled a face before grinning as he pulled out a sexy nurse outfit. "Well looks like someone likes to play nurse."

"You know Kushina will kill you when she finds out you've been going through her clothes." Naruto pointed out.

"Kushina?" Jiraiya looked at Naruto.

"Yeah, you know. Long red hair, lives with me. Kushina." Naruto clarified.

"When did you stop calling her mother?" Jiraiya asked.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "She just seems to prefer me to call her that so I figured there was no harm."

"Hmm…" Jiraiya put the dress back and shut the wardrobe. "Have you booked the tickets for the aquarium?"

"… You have to book tickets?" Naruto blinked. "I didn't know that!"

"It's only just opened so there are limited places due to all the special events they have planned," Jiraiya sighed. "Fortunately for you, I happen to have two tickets!"

"… What's it going to cost me?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing," Jiraiya looked offended, "Can't I just give my grandson a gift? Listen you've been down in the dumps a lot lately. Ever since that Haruna girl rejected your confession…"

"How'd you know about that?" Naruto blinked.

"Oh I know a lot of things," Jiraiya smirked. "'Harem Lord' Naruto. Chosen fiancé of Lala Satalin Deviluke, daughter of Gid Lucius Deviluke, emperor of Deviluke. After I discovered that your mother was in fact an alien I started looking around for more. You'd be surprised how many there are living in this area and they are more than willing to talk… for a price."

"The school nurse is one apparently," Naruto remarked.

"I thought so," Jiraiya nodded sagely, "Because her body is…"

"If you say out of this world I will have to hurt you," Naruto warned.

"Hah," Jiraiya smirked, "You couldn't beat me in a hundred years! Why you haven't even mastered the secret ability that is passed down in our family!"

"There is no secret ability," Naruto snapped.

"Of course there is!" Jiraiya laughed. "The special power of those who are descended from the heavens!" Jiraiya posed.

"Back to the tickets," Naruto stirred his grandfather back to the topic at hand.

"Right," Jiraiya pulled out the tickets and handed them to Naruto. "And since I want your first date to go well I call you with instructions on what to do! Don't worry… I'll make sure it is a date neither of you will forget and for the right reasons! Here take this earpiece. It will stay hidden under your hair and allow me to give you instructions without making it obvious!"

"…Thanks," Naruto took the tickets and after a moments hesitation the ear piece as well. "You know, you're not so bad some times."

"Don't get mushy on me boy," Jiraiya smiled fondly. "I'm expecting all the details afterwards!" Jiraiya's eyebrows waggled obscenely before opening Naruto's wardrobe.

"Way to ruin the moment," Naruto sighed.

"What were you going to wear?" Jiraiya asked going through Naruto's clothes.

"Er…" Naruto paused.

"You haven't planned this at all have you?" Jiraiya shook his head. "A date is a battle! Now let me prepare you!" Jiraiya cackled evilly.

"I need an adult," Naruto whimpered as he backed away.

"I am an adult!" Jiraiya declared.

* * *

Lala smiled as she washed herself down. Kushina, Momo and Nana were in the bath as well, Nana floating around lazily whereas Momo was helping Lala clean herself. Kushina was sat relaxing.

"So… what are you planning to wear for your big date?" Momo asked as she washed Lala's hair.

"I was thinking that dress that you recommended to me the first day you arrived." Lala stated.

"Rejected!" Kushina crossed her arms under her breasts. "If you use a dress he has already seen it won't have as much of an effect!"

"You are being surprisingly helpful," Nana noted.

"It's Naru-chan's first date," Kushina remarked. "While obviously I would have preferred it to be with me, the important thing is that Naruto has fun. It Naruto enjoys it he will want to have more dates in the future. I'm simply looking after my own interests." Kushina remarked.

"So… is Kushina now a Tsundere or something?" Momo wondered aloud.

"Bite me!" Kushina threw a wooden bucket at Momo who deftly caught it.

"Maybe if Naruto likes that sort of thing…" Momo and Kushina suddenly froze as their delusions merged.

_Kushina and Momo's Imagination _

"_Kushina, Momo…" Naruto looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry but I can't choose who to have sex with first." _

"_Then take us both together," Momo and Kushina whispered as they pressed their breasts together. _

"_We can get along for you," Momo suckled on Kushina's breast earning an erotic moan. _

"_I can't hold myself back!" Naruto cast aside his clothes and fell upon the two women._

_End Joint Imagination_

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Momo turned to Kushina.

"Hehehehe…" Kushina giggled perversely, a large blush on her face. "I get the sword first! You can get the face."

"Team Uncage the beast FTW!" Momo high fived Kushina.

"Do I want to know what they are talking about?" Nana groaned.

"But anyway," Momo wiped away her nose bleed. "We still have to think about your dress."

"Can't I have Peke turn into a dress for me?"

"Peke?" Kushina blinked.

"That would be me," The small clothing robot greeted Kushina. "I am able to mimic any clothes style I have scanned. I sometimes feel as if I have been forgotten as I don't seem to do much but dress Lala-sama."

"So that's how Lala got a school outfit that had a place to hide her tail," Kushina's eye widened. "Can anyone wear you?"

"That's correct Kushina-san." Peke nodded.

"I see," Kushina looked thoughtful.

"Unfortunately Peke cannot go on this date with you." Momo shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Because when Naruto takes your relationship to the next level, he will get a primal rush from tearing your clothes off and I imagine Peke's cry of pain would ruin the moment." Momo smiled. "Your first time should be special. A moment just between you two." Momo decided not to add that she would have cloaked drones following and recording the entire date. She would be carrying out date support and ensuring no obstacles got between Lala and Naruto. Admittedly knowing Naruto's plans would make that easier but Momo appreciated a challenge and she was curious to see what Naruto would do on a date without any assistance from her.

"I don't have many dresses though…" Lala pouted.

"That's not a problem!" Momo declared. "For I have prepared for this very instant." Momo led Lala out of the bath and into what was Momo and Nana's room until they joined Lala and Kushina in Naruto's room. "Tadah!" Momo threw open her closet and revealed an impossible number of outfits.

"I could live forever and I'd still not have enough time to try on all these outfits," Kushina stared in awe.

"Hehehe," Momo laughed weakly. "I got a little carried away."

"Did you make these?" Lala asked as she got a ballroom dress out.

"Yes," Momo nodded. "They are made from the vines of the Iatneh plant, which makes them waterproof, fire proof and stain resistant!"

"Stain resistant huh?" Kushina grinned as she pulled out a kitsune cosplay outfit and looking it over before putting back with a mutter of 'too small' and continuing searching.

"Iatneh plants…" Nana frowned. "I swear I remember something about them."

"Oh it's nothing that will affect Onee-sama," Momo waved off her fears. "It may make Naruto more susceptible to erotic requests though."

"No," Lala shook her head. "I don't want to trick Naruto into doing anything. If we are to take that step then I want it to be because we both want to do it."

"And do you want to take your relationship to that level?" Momo asked.

"Of course," Lala blushed slightly. "Naruto means everything to me. But if he isn't ready I won't force him."

"Trust me," Momo smiled at Lala. "He wants the same thing but he doesn't want to force you. One of you is going to have to take the first step and I severely doubt it will be Naruto."

"You think so?" Lala frowned. "But this is our first date… All of the dating magazines say you shouldn't put out on your first date as it will make the man think you are easy."

"Do you ever think Naruto will think you are easy?" Momo asked.

"Well… no…" Lala admitted.

"Then just go with what your heart tells you," Momo smiled. "After all that's what got you in a relationship with Naruto in the first place right?"

"Right!" Lala looked fired up.

"So…" Momo turned back to the dresses. "I'm sure I have some here that aren't made of any special materials." And with that the girl's started to go through the dresses with a single minded purpose.

If Naruto was the prize at the heart of the keep. His self-control was the unscaleable, impregnable wall. It was their job to turn Lala into the battering ram that could bring down the walls so that they all could enjoy the Naruto-goodness within.

The Battle preparation had begun.

May The Romantic Comedy Gods have mercy on Naruto's soul.


	10. Chapter 10: Angels and Demons

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: I've just found out I've been spelling Devilukian wrong. It is apparently Devilukean… Bah I'll leave it as it is. That's how it is spelt in my canon. Also there is a chunk of backstory that also hints at a few things in the future mentioned in this chapter. As far as I am aware it is all my own canon. If any of it is actually true in the show then that is a happy coincidence. This chapter was a bastard to write. Seeing as most chapters revolve around Naruto's interactions with the cast, this chapter only really has him with Lala which was damn hard to do. I only hope you guys like it.

I've extended the competition for another chapter as this was uploaded far quicker than intended so yeah. Please read and if you want to leave a review that would be great. The winner will be announced next chapter. For those of you who missed the song the words are as follows:

"Take another look, take a look around.  
It's you and me, it's here and now.  
As you sparkle in the sky, I'll catch you while I can  
'Cause all we are is all I am.  
I just want you to see, what I've always believed.  
You are the miracle in me."

Remember send a PM (NOT A REVIEW) with the Title [To Love 'Ruto Competition] Saying the singer/group and the name of the song along with the girl you want to have the next date.

For what its worth the majority of the correct answers want Yui but it is a random chance. (Basically I'll write down all the names of people who got the right answers and put them in a hat. The winner will be drawn by my Beta Reader... because let's be honest she doesn't do the best job at beta reading.

This is a feature length chapter! (Well it is a longer chapter as a Christmas present. A late Christmas present but what the hell.)

Hope you had a great Christmas (or if you don't celebrate it then hope you enjoyed whatever it is you do celebrate).

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: As well as the usual, all the songs mentioned/ Used in this chapter are the copyright of their respective record labels and bands etc.

* * *

Chapter 10: Angels and Demons

Naruto had never felt so nervous in his life. Which was stupid, he reasoned. After all surely preparing to confess to Haruna should have been more nerve wracking. After all that was a confession! This was a date for crying out loud. The hard part was over and he hadn't even had to get the courage to confess this time thanks to Momo and Nana 'tricking' him into confessing to Lala.

"So why am I so damn nervous," Naruto stared at his reflection. Jiraiya had made him try on all sorts of outfits and it was only as Jiraiya told him to get out of the kabuki get up and into the toad costume that Naruto realised the old pervert had been messing him around. He was so worried about this date he hadn't even realised that he had been dressing up in stupid costumes.

"Relax," Jiraiya smiled. "The girl likes you. So long as you don't do something stupid you'll do fine."

"But… what if she wants to… you know," Naruto fidgeted awkwardly. "Go all the way? How will I know?"

"If this Lala is the girl you say she is, I imagine she'll just say 'Oh Naruto-kun-sama-dono! Please rid me of my pesky virginity!'" Jiraiya finished in a falsetto whilst batting his eye lids.

"Lala doesn't sound anything like that nor would she call me that," Naruto deadpanned.

"Well clearly you suck at describing people to me." Jiraiya huffed. "Anyway, what do you think?"

"Well…" Naruto focused on his appearance. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt with the buttons open that revealed a black tank top. "I kind of feel like I'm not dressed up enough…"

"Kid," Jiraiya shook his head. "You are going to the aquarium on a date. This isn't junior prom. There's no need to get all suited up. You look nice and that shirt shows off your figure a little. Of course your muscular definition is nowhere near as good as mine but still. For someone of your age it is slightly above average. Have a little faith boy!"

"Right," Naruto adjusted the shirt. "I can do this."

"And even if you fail," Jiraiya smiled. "There is always this Yui-chan girl you were talking about!"

"We're not like that," Naruto sighed irritably as he tried (and failed) to bring his hair into some sort of order.

"Really?" Jiraiya smiled in a way that clearly said he knew something that Naruto didn't.

"While I appreciate the distraction," Naruto turned to face Jiraiya who sat down on the bed. "I really should be getting ready."

"You are ready," Jiraiya glanced at his watch, "And with time to spare! So let's recap the plan."

"Right," Naruto took a deep breath. "First things first we go to the aquarium and…"

"WRONG!" Jiraiya whacked Naruto on the head. "We've been over this!"

"Huh?" Naruto rubbed his head. "Oh right. Fine the first thing I do is compliment Lala on whatever she has decided to wear."

"That's better," Jiraiya nodded.

"Then… the aquarium?"

"You asking or telling?"

"Telling?"

"WRONG!" Jiraiya whacked him on the head again. "The time now is 11:45, the date starts at 12:00 yet the aquarium doesn't open until 13:00! Are you going to spend an hour stood awkwardly in line?"

"No?" Naruto tried. "I guess then we have time to… to visit a café and talk!"

"…That'll do," Jiraiya nodded. "What kind of café?"

"Er…" Naruto frowned. "I don't have much money so… maybe Granny Tsunade's maid café… although it's not really a good place to take a girl on a date."

"That depends," Jiraiya rubbed his chin. "If you acted as her butler I'm sure that would be interesting. But then you run the risk of Tsunade-hime roping you both into working for her. Maybe try that another time."

"Right," Naruto frowned. "Well there was this nice café that Yui and I went to."

"That'd be Yui the 'not romantically interested in me at all' right?" Jiraiya asked.

"Are you hinting something?" Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I've already told you we aren't like that. She has a boyfriend for crying out loud."

"Have you met him?"

"Well… no…"

"Then how do you know that he's real?"

"Because Yui-chan wouldn't lie about something like that."

"Oh?" Jiraiya tilted her head. "Why not?"

"Because she is all about being moral and righteous and telling lies kind of go against everything she stands for."

"You'd be surprised what a woman would do given the right circumstances," Jiraiya looked off into the distance.

"Thinking of Grandma?"

"Yeah," Jiraiya shook his head. "But anyway. Let's focus on your date. I can help resolve your relationship with Yui later. Spoiler alert, it involves a threesome," Jiraiya waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm going to ignore that," Naruto looked away with the faintest tint of red on his cheeks.

"Ohohoho," Jiraiya mentally smirked. "Back to your plans for today then."

"Right," Naruto nodded. "So first I compliment her. Then we go to the little café and talk until it is time to go to the aquarium."

"What about?"

"Her family, what it's like on her home planet. I've read somewhere that people like to feel important so if you let them talk then it improves their opinion of you."

"That's one strategy I suppose," Jiraiya conceded. "Then what?"

"We head to the aquarium and tour the special exhibits."

"Then what?"

"We leave?"

"WRONG!" Jiraiya struck Naruto on the head again.

"What did I get wrong this time?" Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"The memento!" Jiraiya declared. "The Aquarium will have a gift shop! You have to buy her a memento so that she has something to remember the date by. Something she will always have on her so she is constantly reminded of how awesome the date was! Unless the date is bombing then I wouldn't buy her anything. Hell I'd cut my losses and high tail it out of there."

"Right," Naruto scowled as he rubbed his forehead. "So I buy her a gift and then…"

"Then what?"

"Er…" Naruto blinked. "I guess bring her home?"

"…If you meant that in the way that I hoped I would say hell yes. Unfortunately you didn't mean to have sex did you?"

"Well," Naruto glanced at his reflection. "I don't want to rush things with her. Unless she wants to take our relationship to that level I'm not going to rush her into it."

"Fair enough," Jiraiya patted him on the back. "It is your first date after all. If this is the one you can imagine spending the rest of your life with then there is no need to rush it."

"Spend the rest of my life with?" Naruto paused. _'Do I want to marry Lala? I mean… I love her but marriage is a huge step. But she wants to marry me and if I don't marry her the Earth is doomed. Plus I can't imagine my life without her at this point.' _"Yeah… I've got a feeling she might be the one."

"Heh," Jiraiya shook his head. "If only your father was here to see this."

"Or my mother," Naruto stared at the mirror sadly. "Do you know why she left Earth?"

"I've been looking into that but no-one seems to know any alien by the name of Akari Tungsten. That was the name she gave us by the way. I think it's a fake name though."

"I see," Naruto frowned softly. "Well I don't need her."

"Huh?"

"I've gotten this far without her. I have Lala, Momo, Nana, Kushina, Yui-chan, Haruna-chan, Rito and Mikan-chan, Kenichi, Risa-chan and I guess possibly Mikado-sensei. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself."

"Indeed, that is quite the harem," Jiraiya nodded. "Although it could do without the two boys in there but whatever. I won't judge your tastes."

"That wasn't my harem jackass!" Naruto growled.

"That's good 'cause I was totally lying about not judging you." Jiraiya grinned. "You could do much better than Rito and Kenichi if you decided to swing that way."

"They are my precious people." Naruto chose to ignore Jiraiya. "If she doesn't want anything to do with me then that's fine by me!"

"Here, here!" Jiraiya clapped him hard on the back. "The important thing is that your father would be proud. Bagging an alien babe like that. You remind me a lot of him sometimes."

"Really?" Naruto glanced at Jiraiya who was smiling softly.

"Yeah," He ruffled Naruto's hair. "Now I think you are ready to go. Don't worry about any of these assassins or various other distractions. Today is about you and Lala. I'll deal with everything else. Here's some money. This should cover all your expenses, plus a little extra in case you decide to visit a love hotel afterwards."

"Thanks old man," Naruto took the money. "I doubt we'll be going to a love hotel though."

"Don't mention it," He opened Naruto's window and leaned out, "Seriously don't mention it. If this gets out my street cred will plummet."

"Just get out of here," Naruto laughed softly.

"Peace!" Jiraiya saluted before leaping out of the window.

"Crazy old pervert," Naruto smiled softly before checking his watch. "11:55… It's time." He took a deep breath and left the room.

* * *

"I think we are done here," Momo nodded with a satisfied smile as Nana and Kushina circled her, admiring their handy work.

"Do I look good?" Lala asked. She was wearing a cute pink top with low cut that showed her cleavage off well. Her pale pink skirt was short enough to show a fair bit of leg, but not to give anyone a free show. Plus it gave her plenty of room to hide her tail. Her hair was tied up behind her head with a couple of pins.

"As much as I hate to admit it… I don't think I could wear it any better." Kushina begrudgingly admitted.

"It suits you Onee-sama," Momo smiled. "Pure and innocent with seductive overtones."

"Will Naruto like it?" Lala asked.

"There's only one way to find out," Momo admitted and walked to the door before realising that Lala wasn't following. "Onee-sama?"

"Why…" She clutched her heart. "Why am I so scared?"

"Ane-ue," Nana blinked as Lala looked on the verge of tears.

"My heart feels like it is going to burst from my chest. I should be happy. So why am I so terrified?"

"Because you genuinely love Naru-chan," Kushina hugged the alien. "You love him so much that it hurts when you think of this date going wrong. You want him to love you so much that you are terrified at the prospect of pushing him away. But you are being silly. I can almost guarantee Naruto is feeling exactly the same as you if not worse. After all you were the one who helped him get over Haruna."

"But he still has feelings for her," Lala frowned. "What if… what if she confesses to him and he decides he'd prefer her?"

"Do you really think Naruto would do that Onee-sama?" Momo frowned at Lala. "Do you really think that the bond you two share is that weak?"

"Momo…" Lala blinked.

"Naruto is surrounded by beautiful women. Many of which love him. Yet not a single one of them made any headway in winning his affections. He was a sealed fortress that none could conquer. Hell Kushina here could probably give you the exact number of times she failed to seduce him."

"Three thousand seven hundred and ninety four." Kushina nodded.

"And how much success did you have?"

"None."

"Now you Lala," Momo turned to her older sister. "How long have you known Naruto?"

"About a month," Lala tilted her head.

"And in that month you have kissed Naruto. You share his bed. You have got him to start bathing with you and you got him to fall in love with you. In one month you have achieved more than Kushina has. Hell even Haruna took a few years of being the only girl he really talked he hung around with to get him to fall in love with her! By the way what made you fall in love with Naruto Kushi-chan?"

"You wouldn't believe me. It took me a while to realise it was true myself but ironically your presence actually made me believe it without a doubt." Kushina admitted. "And don't call me that."

"Why?" Lala asked.

"Because only one person can call me that." Kushina remarked. "Maybe I'll tell you the story another time."

"Right!" Nana nodded. "The perverted beast is probably getting restless!" Nana followed Kushina out.

"Onee-sama," Momo handed her sister a piece of paper. "On here is an address. If you decide you want to go all the way. Take Naruto to this address. It's a hotel that I've already booked for you. He'll know what to do."

"Okay," Lala nodded and took a deep breath. "Ready or not Naruto, here I come."

* * *

Naruto was in the living room idly scrolling through his messages to kill time until Lala came down when suddenly his phone vibrated.

[Hello Naruto. It's Mikan. Just checking your number was entered correctly.] –Mikan-chan

He smiled softly before replying, [Yeah this is Naruto. How's everything back at your house?] Before he could put his phone away it vibrated again.

[Good. Rito is 'patrolling' armed with a baseball bat. It's kind of funny. Dad has booked us in at a hotel nearby so we are just getting ready to leave. Apparently it's some new hotel that only opened recently.]

[Glad to hear everything's okay. Remember if you need me just text me alright?]

[Alright. Thanks Naruto ]

[No worries.] Naruto put his phone away and sighed.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," Lala called out as she entered the living room.

"Wow," Naruto smiled. "You look amazing."

"You look good too," Lala beamed. "So what's the plan?"

"First things first," Naruto offered his arm which Lala held onto with a smile. "I was thinking of visiting a small café nearby."

"Great," Lala smiled as the two left the house.

"Good luck Ane-ue," Nana smiled softly as she peered out of the window watching Lala leave before turning around and freezing at what she saw.

"What?" Kushina scowled as she dressed like a delinquent. A bandana across her face and an old black Sainan high boy's jacket that was open exposing her bandaged breasts. Her hair was hidden away under a blood red bandana and she carried two bokuto, one in each hand. She wore a white cape over the top with the words 'The Bloody Jalapeno' across it.

"Is something the matter nee-chan?" Momo adjusted her police hat and fake moustache, before checking the rest of her police uniform was on correctly.

"You're planning on stalking them aren't you?" Nana deadpanned.

"There is too much riding on this date." Momo declared. "And you just know someone will show up and try and ruin it! We have to ensure the success of this date! Our future dates with Naruto count on it!"

"Come comrade!" Kushina left the room followed by Momo.

"…" Nana stared as they left before shaking her head. "Someone's got to keep them out of trouble I suppose," She remarked before following after them, before rushing back in and dressing up as a nun.

"Don't say a word." Nana warned. "This was the only outfit in my size."

"That sounds like a threat to a police office," Momo said in a commanding voice, "I will let you off with a warning this time sister."

"Get bent pig," The masked Kushina gave Momo the bird before running away cackling.

"Get back her delinquent!" Momo pulled out a truncheon and went after her.

"Not sure if they are getting in character, or if they've completely forgotten why we are doing this." Nana sighed.

* * *

Naruto and Lala entered the café, Lala still holding onto his arm.

"Can I help you sir?" A waiter walked up to them.

"A table for two, please?"

"Do you have a reservation?"

"I don't think so," Naruto paused. _'They never asked this last time I came here!'_

"I'm sorry but there is an hour wait for a table," The waiter bowed apologetically.

"Ah," Naruto smiled weakly.

"Never mind Naruto," Lala smiled. "So long as…

"Oh did you say Naruto? As in **the** Naruto Uzumaki? Manly Sage of Legend?" The waiter pulled out a book with the title 'Quotes of the Manly Sage Vol. 4'.

"Er… That's me yes." Naruto blinked.

"Oh then I am sure I can find a table for you!" The waiter led them to a special booth. "I am honoured to meet you oh great one."

"I'm nothing special," Naruto blinked uneasily.

"You are," Lala hugged him tighter. "To me you are the most important person in the world."

"Can I get you two a drink?" The waiter led them into a side room.

"What would you like?" Naruto smiled at Lala.

"I'll have whatever you're having," Lala beamed.

"Two hot chocolates please."

"Right away sir," The waiter bowed and left Lala and Naruto alone.

"This is a really nice room!" Lala looked around. The table had some sort of crest on it and the walls were lined with expensive looking portraits.

"Yeah," Naruto admitted. "The logo on the table looks familiar as well. But that's not important," He turned his attention to Lala, "So I was thinking… I don't really know that much about your people. I was wondering if you wanted to talk about them."

"You want to know about the Devilukians?" Lala blinked.

"Well, if I'm aiming to be the emperor I suppose I'd best know something about the people I'm ruling," Naruto joked. "I just want to get to know you better and your people seems a good way to start."

"Hai," Lala seemed genuinely happy that Naruto was taking an interest, "Well first things first do you know of the first ones?"

"First what?"

"A long, long, _long _time ago, there were only two space faring races," Lala smiled, "The Damus and the Arcangus. They were at war from the very first contact. The Damus were physically weaker than the Arcangus but they were more advanced when it came the biological research and so they created races to fight for them. Pretty much every race in the galaxy now is descended from a Damus creation. The Devilukians were created to be the perfect soldiers. We are strong and loyal, plus we have a pretty high fertility and sex drive to ensure that we could repopulate quickly. Basically our entire race was made to fight."

"Well there is some debate on why we humans are here," Naruto smiled. "At least you know why you are here."

"Something happened that wiped out the Arcangus and the Damus but their creations remained. In the absence of a leading power the Devilukians began to change and we 'evolved' a ruling caste. There are three castes of Devilukian and we appear identical on the outside but what makes us tick on the inside varies. First there are the 'Lord' Caste," Lala paused to make sure Naruto was following, "Nana and I are both of this caste. We tend to be stronger than the average devilukian and smarter. Next there is the berserker caste. These tend to be the strongest but also the most emotional of the species and depending on their rank depends on their use in society. The lowest rank is the Delta Berserker, who is just a mindless warrior who lives for fighting and sex. The highest confirmed ranking is known as the Alpha who are usually the strongest of the Devilukians. They are also in control of their emotions so you wouldn't know the difference between them and a Lord class unless you knew the tell-tale signs. The third caste is the grunt. Most Devilukians of this caste as just common soldiers but occasionally they can rise above that. Zastin and Papa are both members of the Grunt Caste who have far exceeded their birth caste. Whilst Lord and Grunt class are ranked by their social standing and individual power and as such can change, the berserkers are grouped into the classes that they are born as and can never change."

"You said highest confirmed rank," Naruto pointed out.

"Hai," Lala smiled at the fact Naruto was genuinely listening. "There exists a theoretical 'Omega Class' berserker. It's said that an Omega class has the ability to suppress and command other berserkers so that even a Delta class will be capable of forming rational thoughts. It was rumoured that one of my aunties was one of these but she vanished at the end of the Unification Wars."

"You never said what Momo was." Naruto pointed out.

"Sorry," Lala smiled weakly. "That's for her to say."

"Okay," Naruto smiled. "Thanks for telling me. You said that those two races that created every race that exists today?"

"Well not everyone," Lala shook her head. "But pretty much all of them. The Damus appear in many different species religions but the Arcangus never do. I found plenty of references to them in Earth stories so it looks like even humans were created by the Damus,"

"Wait… we have stories about them?"

"Here's a clue," Lala grinned. "It is custom for certain _Devilukians_ to receive the name of _a Damus_. My full name is Lala _Satalin_ Deviluke. My Father is Gid _Lucione _Deviluke. My sisters are Momo _Velia _and Nana _Aster _Deviluke."

"… Damus…" Naruto frowned. He could tell by the look Lala was giving him she wanted him to realise what she was getting at. _'Damus… Satalin… Lucione… Velia… Aster… Why did she emphasise the names? Wait! The Devilukians… Devil Kin… Demons... Satan, Lucifer, Belial, Asteroth!' _"Could it be that what we call demons you would call Damus?"

"Correct!" Lala smiled. "The names are slightly different but the links are there." Lala held out her left arm which was suddenly surrounded by red cursive script. "This is the Seal of Satalin. I've had it from birth. Basically it is a fragment of the Damus General Satalin's soul that was left behind after they vanished. That's why I have the middle name Satalin. As the Damus' favoured creations we were built to house their souls should their bodies fail. Something went wrong though so now only small fragments of their powers occasionally find a Devilukian host. If your parent had a seal then so shall you though."

"…You don't summon Satan with that thing do you?" Naruto frowned.

"Of course not," Lala laughed. "Satalin died several millennia ago."

"That's good," Naruto nodded sagely.

"I can summon a reflection of his power but that's it. I can show you if you want."

"Please don't," Naruto weakly laughed. "And his power still lives on in you?"

"That's right." Lala nodded. ""Using its power is like a super powerful form of your aura. It also changes my appearance slightly."

"Man," Naruto laughed. "You're pretty kick ass aren't you Lala?"

"Not as much as you though!" Lala smiled. "I still get shivers down my spine when I see you in the Danger Room! Do you humans have any stories about your creation?"

"More than you can shake a stick at," Naruto smiled and started to outline some of the more popular religions to Lala, who listened in rapt attention.

* * *

Just outside the café a limo pulled up and a maid got out, rolled over the boot of the car and pulled out an assault rifle, checking for threats. Satisfied she reached up to an earpiece and whispered. "No hostiles present. Commence to deployment stage."

"…Hanabi you are a maid. Not a mercenary." An exhausted Kei's voice remarked.

"…Apologies," The assault rifle vanished and Hanabi opened the door, allowing Saki and her friends out.

"Thank you Hanabi-chan." Saki smiled.

"It is a pleasure to serve you Ojou-sama," Hanabi bowed as Saki left the car before the confused maid re-entered the limo by smashing the window and diving inside and yelling "Go! Go! Go!"

"We must move swiftly," Saki turned to her bodyguard and friend as they approached the café. "I fear that this Lala is going to be the end of me."

"I shall protect you from anything she can throw at you," Rin promised.

"Besides didn't you have a fool proof plan Saki-sama?" Aya asked.

"Of course," Saki smiled, "I shall challenge her to a Miss Sainan High competition I was going to have it on christmas but appare! We just need to discuss the events." She walked up the door to a café and waited to be served.

"Do you have a reservation miss?" The waiter asked.

"I am Saki Tenjouin," Saki announced.

"I see," The waiter looked down at the list. "I'm afraid we don't have a reservation under that name."

"Pardon?" Saki blinked. "I have a private room here."

"Oh so you do," The waiter nodded. "Unfortunately that room is in use."

"My private room is in use?" Saki growled. "Then kick out whoever is in it!"

"But the great Manly Sage is in there!" The waiter protested.

"Who?" Saki blinked.

"A legendary man who attends Sainan high," Aya informed Saki, "They say he can seduce any woman just by smiling at them. They also say he has a harem and is engaged in a war with the father of one of his harem members. A lone hero fighting masses of Yakuza thugs for the love of a women…" Aya sighed dreamily. "Isn't it romantic?"

"Well," Saki smirked. "I would love to meet this man. Maybe he would be willing to explain why he is using my room."

"Unfortunately Naruto-dono is busy with another girl right now." The waiter shook his head. "It is against the bro code to deliberately cock block him like that."

"Naruto…" Rin scowled at the familiar name. "As in Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Uzumaki-san is the legendary sage?" Saki frowned. "He didn't seem so impressive when he was locked in my basement."

"…" The waiter blinked. _'Even the Tenjouin Heiress wants him! She locked him in her basement! I wonder what kinky things they got up to.' _"Hehehe…" The waiter giggled perversely.

"I will enforce your will Saki-sama," Rin growled as she pulled out a bokuto.

"Who dares?!"

Saki, Rin and Aya turned to see a delinquent stood behind them.

"Er…" Saki blinked.

'_Hehehe…' _Kushina smirked. _'There is no way that they will interrupt Naruto's date if I beat them up!' _

"Saki-sama!" Rin and Kushina crossed blades. "I shall protect you!"

"Damn… you're actually pretty good," Kushina growled as she was forced back by Rin.

"I shall go and reclaim my room. Fight well Rin!" Saki ordered.

"Wait!" Kushina yelled.

Suddenly a familiar old pervert walked by Saki who gave a small scream.

"You… You groped my rear!" Saki roared.

"Oh did I?" Jiraiya smirked. "Well there really wasn't much there to grab. That Lala girl has a much better ass."

"RIN!" Saki roared. "I want that pervert dead!"

"Catch me if you can!" Jiraiya ran away, Saki and her entourage in close pursuit.

"Er…" Kushina blinked. "Well I suppose that worked."

"So… we meet again 'Bloody Jalapeno'. It's been a while. Twenty years if I'm not mistaken. " A dry voice remarked from behind her.

Kushina span around and narrowed her eyes. "Well if it isn't the 'Fist of Justice'. My old nemesis. You have returned."

Before her stood a man wearing a power rangers costume several sizes too small for him. "I knew one day you would return to wreak havoc on my beloved home. Your evil stops today!"

"Bring it loser!" Kushina challenged before the two started brawling.

"… Nee-san." Nana blinked at they watched Kushina and the out of shape hero battle. "Shouldn't we stop this? They are more likely to ruin the date than anything else at this point."

"You are right," Momo nodded before pulling out a whistle. "You there! Stop disturbing the peace!" She ran over and joined the brawl, using her truncheon to K.O. the others, just in time for the police to arrest all three of them.

Nana watched with disbelief as the three were carted into the back of a police van and driven away.

Shortly after Naruto and Lala left the café and went towards the aquarium. It looked like the date was going well judging by the fact Lala was smiling and Naruto had a faint blush on his cheeks. It was now up to Nana to stop anyone ruining the date!

"Give me strength God," Nana prayed.

"Don't give up sister!" A passer-by encouraged her.

* * *

The queue into the aquarium was moving slowly towards the entrance. As it was a limited ticket event the queue wasn't huge and everyone seemed to be on a date. Near the middle of the queue Akiho Sarenji and Yuu Kotegawa were stood making idle conversation.

Akiho sighed as she checked her phone. "This is taking longer than I expected."

"What time is it?" Yuu turned to his girlfriend.

"Just going on 13:10," She answered, "I hope this aquarium is going to be as good as they say."

"Me too," Yuu nodded. _'After all I had to buy the tickets. But if it gets me a bit of time alone with Akiho-chan it will be totally worth it!' _

"Wait…" Akiho blinked as she caught a strange reflection in her phone and turned to face the sight. "Isn't that…"

"Naruto?" Yuu blinked. "So he's here on a date as well."

"Yeah," Akiho scowled. _'While Haruna is so confused about her feelings you think you can go and see another girl do you Naruto? Well we'll just see about that.' _She started laughing evilly.

'_That bastard!' _Yuu frowned. _'He flirts with my little Yui-chan and then he decides to date some pink haired tramp?! We'll see just how your date goes.' _Yuu joined Akiho in cackling, oblivious to the factthat the people around them were slowly edging away from them.

A little further down the queue and completely oblivious to the evil laughs of the elder siblings of Yui and Haruna, Naruto and Lala were chatting happily.

"It's great to finally have just some me and you time." Lala admitted as she leaned into Naruto who wrapped her in a one armed hug.

"I'm glad," Naruto smiled. "I know it's only been a month but I have to admit. I'm glad I met you."

"Really?" Lala looked like all of her Christmases had come at once.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "The house has become much livelier. I even actually enjoyed my birthday. Thanks for that by the way. Sure there is the odd assassin after my life and maybe your dad will destroy my home planet if someone else marries you but even taking all of that into account… I still wouldn't change a thing about meeting you."

"Hehehe," Lala blushed, "If I could change one thing it would be the assassins so we could just settle down without you having to fight. I hate it when you get hurt…I want you to know just how much you mean to me. I've… I've never really felt this way about anyone before. I don't want to lose this feeling."

"Don't worry," Naruto smiled at her, "So long as there is life in me, I'll fight for the right to be with you. And when I've kicked your dad's ass then I guess we'll finally be able to settle down."

"Hai," Lala blushed as she hugged Naruto. "I was wondering… what are your thoughts on family?"

"Family?" Naruto smiled, "I'd like a large one."

"Really?" Lala looked ecstatic, "Me too!"

"I always wanted a large family, probably a side effect of being raised in such a small one." Naruto admitted.

"Then we should get started right away!" Lala declared.

"Wait what?" Naruto went crimson.

"If you marry me and my sisters then we all become family!" Lala declared.

"Oh I thought you meant something else," Naruto let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding.

"Pardon?" Lala blinked cutely.

"I thought you were talking about… well… you know." Naruto mumbled. "Having children."

"Oh!" Lala blushed as well. "Well obviously I want to have your children at some point."

"Really?" Naruto glanced at her.

"Hai," Lala nodded and smiled at Naruto lovingly. "And… I just want to say…" Lala fidgeted. "Whenever you want to start trying… I'm ready." She looked at Naruto. "And even if you don't want children right now… that's doesn't mean we can't practice, right?"

"…" Naruto blushed a deep crimson colour, oblivious to the looks of hatred he was earning from Yuu and Akiho.

* * *

"Damn that old man moves fast," Rin panted lightly.

"Can't… believe… old… man… so… fast…" Saki gasped out. Aya was collapsed on the floor panting heavily beside her.

"I apologise Saki-sama," Rin bowed her head. "The old pervert escaped."

Saki merely nodded as they returned to the café and found their private table was now free for them to use. After taking the time to regain their breath, Saki turned to her bodyguard. "You seemed agitated when you mentioned the delinquent."

"Uzumaki?" Rin's visage darkened. "He is not to be trusted."

"Why not?" Saki asked curiously.

"Well…" Rin sighed.

_A couple of Years ago _

_Rin smiled as she finished the kata she was performing. Her fellow student, Neji Hyuuga, stood watching her with a calm expression. Today was the final match of the local tournament. The winner would go on to compete in the nationals. She had been selected to represent her school and her opponent was one Naruto Uzumaki. The two had been sparring against each other all month in preparation for this fight and it was going to be the best fight Rin ever had. The brash boy had grown on her and she looked forward to fighting him full on. She enjoyed the time she spent with him and knew that win or lose, she would have fun. She smiled softly as she turned to Neji. _

"_Flawless as always," Neji bowed his head. _

"_Naruto's taking his time," Rin sighed. "He should have been here half an hour ago. Today's the big day! It's the final! I can't defeat him if he doesn't show!" _

_She continued practicing, waiting for someone to tell her that Naruto had arrived and the fight could start. There was the sound of a phone vibrating and Neji pulled his out. _

"_What is it?" Rin noticed the strange expression on his face. _

"_Naruto Uzumaki will not be fighting against you," Neji said simply. "He has no interest in fighting against you." _

"…_What?" Rin blinked. "But… he said…" _

"_I'm sorry," Neji bowed his head. _

"_But… he promised," Rin fought back tears. It wasn't the title she wanted. It was to fight against her friend. To test herself. But Naruto didn't want to fight her. Were all those promises he made worth less than the air used to speak them? Was she not his friend? _

"_I don't know what to say." Neji drawled. "He says that he was only messing around and had no interest in fighting a weakling like yourself." He paused, "Those are his words not mine." _

"_That… that bastard!" Rin growled, everything he had said was a lie. _

_Back to the Present _

"I see," Saki nodded as she sipped her tea. "So he never showed up and left that message?"

"How horrible!" Aya blinked

"I lost my faith in men that day." Rin scowled. "Not only did Naruto not show to the fight but that I caught that bastard Neji peeking when I was in the shower. All men are pigs. I thought Naruto and I were friends but he bailed and never apologised. He stopped going to his dojo so I couldn't even find him. I had put him to the back of my mind."

"If he is your enemy then he is mine as well," Saki proclaimed. "Both him and that Lala girl will know despair!"

"Saki-sama," Rin smiled softly as the conversation turned towards the competition. _'It is an honour to serve one as kind as yourself.' _

* * *

Naruto and Lala walked holding hands around the aquarium. While Naruto could feel the envious glares some of the staff and visitors were giving him, Naruto tried not to let it get to him. He had an ice cream cone that he and Lala were sharing.

"You've got some on your nose!" Lala smiled and kissed him on the nose. "I got it!"

"Lala!" Naruto blushed. "You could have given me some warning."

"I'm sorry did I go too far?" Lala blinked.

"No," Naruto gave her a squeeze. "It'll just take a lot of getting used to. I may be used to you showering me with affection but I'm not used to… well reciprocating the feeling in public you know?"

"We have time for you to get more used to it," Lala leaned her head on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere."

Watching the couple from behind a pillar were Akiho who looked like she was trying not to laugh and Yuu, who was trying to dislodge a crab that was pinching his inner thigh.

"Bastard," Yuu growled. So far his plans to ruin the date had all backfired. Originally he had tried to sweet talk Lala whilst Akiho flirted with Naruto. That failed badly. They had waited until the two had split up, Lala had gone to the bathroom and Naruto stood around outside waiting.

_"Hey there Naruto-chan," Akiho winked saucily. "How are you today?"_

_"I'm fine Sarenji-san," Naruto bowed his head. "And you?"_

_"So much better for seeing you here," Akiho wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "What say you and me go and look at some of the exhibits together?" Lala had just left the bathroom and was looking around worried trying to spot Naruto._

_"Sorry I am on date," Naruto removed Akiho's arm from his shoulders. "It was nice seeing you again. Say Hi to Haruna-chan for me." He waved to Lala whose face brightened as soon as she saw Naruto and the pair walked off._

_"Er… sure…" Akiho blinked. She was sure of her charm yet Naruto hadn't even reacted to her. "Maybe this won't be as easy as I thought."_

At least she got a conversation out of Naruto. Yuu's attempt was almost hilariously pathetic.

"_Hey babe," He winked at her as she stood alone outside the gift store. "Why don't you and I… and she left." Yuu blinked as she ran over to Naruto who passed a small bag to her. "Wow. That was embarrassing. And kind of rude. I don't like her." He turned to Akiho who was trying her hardest not to laugh at Yuu._

There next attempt involved breaking into the janitors closet and spreading polish on the floor to make it super slippery. The plan being that they would trip and Naruto would spill his ice cream on Lala and ruin her dress. She'd get upset and leave and the date would be over. That… hadn't worked out exactly as planned.

"_Careful!" Naruto warned as he skidded across the floor helping Lala keep her balance._

_"This is fun!" Lala laughed as the pair started skating around the floor._

_"Remind me to take you ice skating on another date," Naruto smiled._

_Yuu decided he would casually walk over to them, slip and cause Naruto to crash into Lala. That hadn't gone well. He had slipped as planned, but Naruto had leapt over him carrying Lala bridal style all without spilling a drop of ice cream._

_"Thanks," Lala snuggled into his chest._

_"No worries," Naruto put her down._

_Yuu on the other hand slipped straight into one of the glass windows on the tank and smashed it, releasing the crabs and lobsters who proceeded to pinch him mercilessly._

Akiho hadn't stopped laughing for a good ten minutes. As she finally calmed down and Yuu dislodged the last crab before tossing it aside, she asked the question that had been bugging her.

"I meant to ask," Akiho straightened up. "Why are you helping me to try and ruin their date?"

"… I thought you were trying to help me," Yuu blinked.

"Why would you… Yui-chan likes Naruto?!" Akiho's eyes widened.

"Yeah who else did...Haruna-chan likes Naruto?!" Yuu mirrored Akiho's shocked expression.

"You do realise that my sister has already had him confess to her," Akiho smiled. "So I'm sorry but your Yui-chan has already lost that battle."

"Oh really?" Yuu stroked his chin. "Has your Haruna-chan actually had a date with him?"

"Er… No…"

"Well Naruto has taken Yui on a date before," Yuu smirked.

"Oh really?"

"And he asks her to call him by his given name!" Yuu pressed home his advantage.

"You sound awfully certain that Yui will win his heart." Akiho smirked, "How about a wager?"

"A wager?" Yuu tilted his head. "What are the stakes?"

"I am so sure that I will win that I will offer the one thing you want that I never give you."

"You mean… _that_?" Yuu blinked as Akiho nodded.

"But you've got to offer something just as desirable to me as that is to you."

"Such as?"

"Two weeks, you and me in Disneyland in America. We go on all the rides (you pay of course) and go out for an expensive meal every night."

"You overestimate how much I want to try that out," Yuu crossed his arms.

"If you don't have faith in your sister then I can understand." Akiho grinned evilly.

"Oh it is on!" Yuu shook Akiho hand. "You better prepare your pretty little ass!"

"I can almost hear your bank account crying." Akiho gripped his hand tightly as they shook.

"But first we really should do something about this other girl," Yuu reminded her.

"Oh right." The two looked around. "Where the hell are they?"

Naruto and Lala were currently sat in a display area where there were performing dolphins.

Lala was cheering ecstatically like a child, beaming as the dolphins performed tricks such as pushing the handlers into the air. They never did shows like this on Deviluke. The only animals they really had were bred for war and while obedient, they would probably try and kill anyone who tried to make them perform tricks.

On the other hand Naruto was watching Lala more than the dolphins. _'She really seems to be enjoying herself and she seemed to love the dolphin cell phone strap I bought her. This is the last event of the day. After this I guess the date ends.' _He glanced to the dolphins jumping through a hoop before returning his gaze to Lala. _'She seems so happy.' _He smiled softly.

Lala noticed his stare and smiled at him brightly before squeezing his hand.

"Look at them," Akiho sighed as she and Yuu watched the two from a balcony over the top of the show.

"Yeah…" Yuu nodded. "That's how we should be isn't it? Not just ruining other peoples dates… or at least trying to." Yuu shook his head, "The only date we did ruin was our own huh?"

"I don't know," Akiho smiled. "I kind of had fun watching you fail."

"Haha," Yuu chuckled sarcastically before his face brightened up. "You know… this was actually quite fun. But it looks like neither of us will win the bet."

"Really?" Akiho leaned on the balcony. "Giving up already?"

"Nah," Yuu looked at Naruto. "I kind of feel bad for trying to ruin his date. Just for today, I'll retreat."

"You do that," Akiho smiled. "I'm not."

"What?" Yuu pointed a finger at Akiho, "That's sneaky!"

"All's fair in love and war!" Akiho laughed as Yuu chased after her. _'Yes... this was a good date.' _Akiho thought to herself as they ran away.

Meanwhile Naruto and Lala were leaving the aquarium after Naruto bought them both drinks.

"It was amazing!" Lala cheered. "Thank you Naruto!"

"No worries," Naruto laughed. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Can I ask you something," Lala paused as they walked home.

"Sure," Naruto nodded. "Feel free. I'll answer any question you ask." He took a sip from the can

"Oh really?" Lala looked thoughtful. "How about… the first time you masturbated?"

"WHAT!?" Naruto spat his drink out. "What kind of question is that?!"

"Well…" Lala smiled cutely, "We are on a date and you wanted to know more about me so I figured I should learn more about you!"

"That's… I…" Naruto paused and rubbed his forehead. "I don't remember. And usually you ask about their personal preferences and stuff like that. "

"Really?" Lala pouted. "Well then, what sex position is your favourite?"

"Lala!" Naruto blushed crimson. "You don't just ask stuff like that!"

"But you said…"

"I meant like favourite foods. Besides I haven't… you know…"

"Had sex?"

"Shush!" Naruto covered Lala's mouth and glanced around. "There's no need to yell it to everyone!"

"That's great!" Lala smiled. "I haven't had sex either! We can give each other our first times!"

"Oh youngsters nowadays are so bold," An elderly woman chuckled as she walked by the young couple.

"Lala…" Naruto sighed. "Did Momo give you this list of questions?"

"No," Lala shook her head. "I genuinely want to know. But I can ask you Momo's questions if you prefer."

"Out of a morbid sense of curiosity. What questions did Momo want you to ask?"

"What is your favourite sauce?"

"Well that doesn't sound so…"

"And which body part would you prefer it to be licked off?"

"That sounds like Momo," Naruto sighed.

"Ok then…" Lala looked thoughtful, "I've got it! Dogs or cats?"

"Now that is a question that you'd ask," Naruto nodded. "I prefer dogs but I don't mind cats either."

"I see," Lala nodded. "What would you call our first daughter?"

"Wow… planning that far ahead."

"Of course!" Lala beamed. "If we are going to have a big family we'd best start planning now!"

"True," Naruto laughed. "I would have said Akari but I recently found out that was possibly the name of my mother who abandoned me."

"Why?"

"Don't know," Naruto shrugged. "But anyway that names out of the window. How about… Mito... For some reason that name feels right."

"I'd prefer Megalodon," Lala suggested.

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

"There was an exhibit on them in the aquarium!" Lala beamed. "Super huge sharks that were unstoppable killing machines! Its teeth were huge!"

"…And you want to call our first born daughter that?!"

"It's cool," Lala pouted.

"How about… Margaret?" Naruto tried. "And we can know that she was named after the Megalodon?"

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful, "It doesn't inspire respect though." Lala declared. "The daughter of the Emperor of All the Galaxy should inspire fear and respect with her name alone!"

"Well why not call her Super-Kickass-World-Destroyer then?" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Really?" Lala beamed. "That would be a cool name!"

"Lala…" Naruto shook his head with a smile. "Never change."

"Hai!" Lala beamed as she leant into Naruto's shoulder.

"Huh?" Naruto pulled out his phone as it rang. "An unknown number?" He answered the call, "Hello?"

"Hi Naru-chan!"

"Kushina?" Naruto blinked. "What's wrong?"

"Er… We are kind of in jail and need you to bail us out. We figured the aquarium exhibit should have finished by now so we hopefully aren't interupting your date."

"…What?"

"You see I was fighting my nemesis when Momo interrupted…"

"You were causing a scene!" Momo's voice sounded in the background.

"And to cut a long story short… we got arrested."

"…I see," Naruto rubbed his head. "And couldn't you get Nana to help you?"

"Well…"

_While Naruto and Lala were in the Aquarium _

"_What do you mean I can't go in?" Nana blinked stupidly. _

"_Tickets only," The man stood by the entrance to the aquarium shook his head. He was wearing a black suit. _

"_But…" Nana scowled. "I have to get in there! A perverted beast is on a date with my sister!" _

"_That's real nice," The man replied blandly. "But no ticket no entry." _

"_But what if someone ruins their date?" Nana drew herself up to her full height (which was still roughly half the size of the guard). "Could you live with that on your conscience?" _

"_Hmm…" The guard looked thoughtful. "Yes, yes I could." _

"_You heartless fiend!" Nana clasped her hands in prayer. "Lord please strike down this heretic!" _

"_Sister, quit making a scene, you aren't getting in!" The guard crossed his arms. _

"_Oh lord!" She pulled out her D-Dial and subtly pressed a button. "Send me a divine servant to aid me in my holy quest!" _

"_GIII!" GI-chan the giant boar appeared in a flash of light and started pawing the ground menacingly. _

"_What a lovely day," A familiar face walked past the aquarium. Soma had decided to give up his revenge schemes for now. At least until the Big Boss approved him for the genetic modifications that would allow him to crush Naruto. He had spent the day helping out at an orphanage in order to change his bad luck streak. Surely some good Karma would change things for him. _

"_GIII!" _

"_Oh… Oh gods no…" Soma turned around to see the giant boar of his nightmares staring at him. "Mercy?" _

"_GIII!" The boar charged at him. _

"_WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!" Soma cried as he ran away chased by the giant boar. _

"_Gi-chan!" Nana called after him. "You are supposed to be mauling this guard!" _

"_Security…" The guard called for reinforcements… _

_Back to the Present _

"So let me get this straight…" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "You were arrested for assault, Momo was arrested for impersonating a police officer and Nana was arrested for unleashing a dangerous animal on the public?"

"That's about right yes," Kushina responded.

"… Maybe a night in prison will teach you a lesson." Naruto sighed. "I'll bail you out in the morning."

"But Naru-chan!" Kushina cried. "The people I'm in a cell with want to rape me!"

"What?" Naruto paused.

"I said the idea of a threesome with you appealed to me! Where did I say I was going to rape you?" Momo's angry voice sounded over the phone.

"I don't want to do anything to you!" Nana's equally furious voice called out.

"Is it just you three in a cell together?"

"Yes… I mean no! There is a huge butch…"

"I'm hanging up now." Naruto sighed.

"What is it?" Lala asked.

"My mother and your sisters have gotten themselves arrested." Naruto shook his head.

"Oh," Lala sighed. "I guess that means the date is over?"

"Nah," Naruto grinned. "Maybe leaving them in the jail overnight will teach them to act more responsibly… although somehow I doubt it. Besides that gives us the house to ourselves. And i did promise you we'd bathe togther after the date."

"Right!" Lala cheered up. She was pretty sure that Nana, Momo and Kushina could handle themselves. Besides knowing Momo she probably got them all arrested on purpose to give her this opportunity to get closer to Naruto without any interruptions. _'Your sacrifice won't be in vain Momo!' _She saluted the sun with tears in her eyes.

"Er… Lala?" Naruto looked at her.

"It's nothing," Lala beamed. "Let's go home!"

* * *

"He hung up?" Kushina blinked. "He actually hung up on me!"

"That's your phone call lady," The guard escorted her back to her cell with Momo and Nana. "Do either of you have anyone you want to call."

"No I'm good," Momo smiled innocently. "This was all just a misunderstanding. You can let me go now."

"Sorry, but until someone pays your bail you aren't going anywhere. You'll be released in the morning with a written warning so I'd try and get comfortable if I were you."

"But how can you keep a servant of God trapped like this?" Nana asked.

"What kind of servant of God would release a wild animal and tell it to maul people and then go on a rampage through town?" The guard shook his head then left them alone in the cell.

"It's not my fault Gi-chan went after the wrong target," Nana crossed her arms.

"Hey… is that you Uzumaki-sensei?"

The three girls turned to see Risa looking into their cell.

"Risa Momioka," Kushina remembered the girl. "Why are you here? Been arrested for indecent behaviour?"

"Actually my dad is a police captain," Risa smiled. "So what are you here for?"

"Assault," Kushina scowled. "But in my defence I had to protect Naru-chan's date!"

"Naru-chan?" Risa blinked. "I meant to ask if you were related to Naruto but never got the chance since I was running laps all the lesson."_ 'So Lala went on a date with Naruto… everyday she pulls farther ahead of me.' _

"That's what you get for fantasising over my Naru-chan!" Kushina declared.

"Pardon?" Risa blinked.

"Oh let me explain," Momo smiled. "She is Naruto's adopted mother and has a son complex."

"It isn't complex at all. I love Naruto pure and simple!" Kushina countered.

"Okay…" Risa blinked.

"I am Momo and this is Nana, you've met our older sister Lala." Momo continued.

"Yeah," Risa nodded. "Your sister is a nice girl and has a killer figure."

"I also know from Lala that you have feelings for Naruto."

"Ah!" Risa flinched. "Ahahaha… That's nonsense! We are friends that's all!"

"But you want to be more right?" Momo sauntered up to the cell doors. "What would you say if I could make it so?"

"Huh?" Risa blinked. "Lala is my friend, I couldn't do that to her."

"Didn't she give you her blessings to chase after Naruto?"

"Well… yeah but…" Risa frowned. "Naruto seems to genuinely like her and I don't want to come between them."

"Well you know what they say," Momo smirked. "If you can't beat them… join them."

"Huh?"

"Lala has already said she is willing to share right?" Momo smiled.

"But…" Risa started blushing.

"And you enjoy both the company of men and women right?" Momo continued. "Doesn't the thought of sharing a bed with Lala, who might I add likes to sleep in the nude, excite you?"

"But I love Naruto!" Risa scowled before realising what she said and blushing furiously.

"Then imagine sharing a bed with them both. Lala naked and glistening with sweat as you make out in front of Naruto as he strokes his hyper weapon moaning your name." Momo finished in a whisper. "And then… he takes you and makes you his completely."

"I shouldn't talk to criminals." Risa ran away, trying to hide her obvious arousal.

"…Almost too easy," Momo licked her lips.

"Nee-chan?" Nana asked, having missed the last part of the conversation.

"I think Naruto's bed is going to be getting a little bit full soon." Momo turned to Nana and Kushina.

"Are you pimping out my Naruto?!" Kushina scowled.

"From what I heard from Lala," Momo started, wisely deciding not to mention it was her drones that had actually acquired the Intel, "She has a huge crush on Naruto and she isn't afraid to get all touchy feely with him or other girls. Imagine Naruto walking into the room. You are naked and moaning as Risa plays with your breasts. She turns to him and smiles saying 'I've gotten her all warmed up for you' and Naruto's lust bursts out at the sexual scene before him and he ravishes you until you are completely lost in the pleasure. Sound good?"

"I think I need to visit the toilet," Kushina muttered.

"There's no need," Momo smirked. "If you want to play with yourself after that image, then feel free to do it here. After all by the time I'm done, we'll be doing much more explicit things with Naruto in each other's company."

Kushina froze before passing out with a severe nosebleed and a goofy grin.

"If only Naruto were this easy huh?" Momo turned to Nana and blinked stupidly at the sight of her sister trying (and failing) to stem a bleeding nose. "Oh? Is little Nana having naughty thoughts?"

"He's my husband to be," Nana cried out in her defence, "It's allowed! It's not perverted because we are going to be married!"

"Is that so?" Momo chuckled. _'Everything is going according to plan! Now all you have to do is seal the deal Onee-sama! I have faith in you!' _

* * *

"Aaah," Naruto smiled as he relaxed in the bath. He had to give credit to Momo and Nana, they'd been able to recreate a hot springs bath almost perfectly. There was an energetic knock at the door.

"I'm wearing a towel!" Lala declared.

"Then you can come in." Naruto smiled as the bubbly pink alien joined him in the bath.

"Hai!" She cheered as she jumped into the bath, predictably losing her towel as she resurfaced.

"Towel," Naruto smiled and shook his head. _'She's just so damn energetic.' _

"Hehe!" Lala reclaimed her towel and sat next to Naruto soaking in the bath. "I still don't understand why I have to wear this."

"Because on Earth we don't go around bathing naked with people of the opposite gender. Unless you are a young child or in a relationship with someone."

"Like we are?" Lala asked innocently.

"Yes like…" Naruto paused. "Well at least people who are further into their relationship than we are."

"Oh…" Lala nodded in understanding. "People who have had sex together."

"Well… I guess," Naruto sunk in the bath a little.

"So does that mean that you have to have sex clothed for the first time?"

"…" Naruto shook his head, "No It's just… well I suppose my personal preference when we are bathing but when we have sex…well we will be naked. I guess… It's just that when you're naked I get all nervous and try and avoid looking at you."

"Why?" Lala asked.

"Well…" Naruto sighed. "Fine I guess I'll tell you the real reason. A couple of years ago, I had just started going through puberty and I was… noticing girls more. Of course Kushina wasn't as forward as she is right now thankfully or this story could have gone differently. Basically I started having urges… and they weren't the urges I was told to expect in puberty. It was almost as if there was some dark force in my mind compelling me to… to have my way with people. It all came to a head when… when I saw Kushina sleeping in her underwear. I don't know what happened but the next thing I know I had torn her underwear off and was…" He closed his eyes. "I was 'using' them like some sort of pervert! I washed them to hide the evidence but I'm know Kushina knew. It was shortly after than she started wearing short skirts and bending down in front of me a lot. She also tended to leave he used underwear in the bathroom when she had a bath before me."

"That doesn't mean she knew," Lala pointed out.

"One pair had a note attached saying 'Feel Free to use these.'"

"Hehehe… I guess she did know then." Lala smiled.

"Ever since then I took up meditation to try and keep the dark voice at bay. I deliberately try and avoid situations that cause it to… reawaken. I seemed to have it under control until recently."

"Your birthday," Lala realised.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "When I saw you like that it was like looking through a red mist. I couldn't control my body and I didn't want to. I could hear the voice in the back of my mind telling me to… to make you mine. To claim you I think were the exact words that it said."

"I wonder…" Lala frowned. "Do you know who your mother was?"

"Besides an alien no," Naruto shook his head.

"I… I think she may have been a devilukian," Lala glanced at Naruto. "What you said sounds very much like what berserkers suffer from. A primal lust that makes them have sex with anything that triggers their fancy. But you don't look devilukian…" Lala frowned cutely.

"I have a seal on my stomach," Naruto closed his eyes and channelled his aura.

"This is almost exactly the same as Momo's," Lala muttered under her breath.

"Pardon?" Naruto asked.

"Oh nothing," Lala smiled.

"Do you know what it does?"

"Hai!" Lala nodded eagerly. "This part here…"

"I can't see the seal. Apparently it is invisible to human eyes."

"Oh sorry," Lala rubbed the back of her head. "Well it looks like two seals. The first seal is a desire suppressant although it looks badly damaged. It appears to be focused on Lust and Rage, which are the two main emotions that a berserker would live off. The other part is some sort of genetic suppressant. It appears to be tuned towards devilukian genes. That would explain it!" Lala clapped her hands. "The reason you appear human is because this seal is making all your alien genes dormant!"

"Then the voices I hear?"

"Well…" Lala poked Naruto stomach, "The seal looks old and degraded. Usually they would need repairing every year or so but this looks like it hasn't been service in nine years, give or take a year. That means in moments of weakness... you might be influenced by your surpressed devilukian instincts!"

"Nine years?" Naruto rubbed his stomach. "The day my father died in a gas explosion… Or at least that's what I'm told."

"You don't remember anything?" Lala looked at his face then her eyes widened. "You have a seal on your head as well!"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "It activates if I think too hard about my father's death."

"…I can remove it," Lala declared.

"What?"

"I can remove it," Lala nodded. "It's a common design. If you want me to remove it, I will. But I will tell you this. These seals are not put on people lightly. There must be an important reason for you to have this seal. The one on your stomach is usually put on delta class berserkers to stop them going crazy."

"But you said the seal is degrading."

"…Your aura damages it." Lala looked at Naruto. "If you keep using it the seal will fail and you… you will become a devilukian berserker."

"So basically a mindless creature that only wants to have sex and kill things." Naruto closed his eyes. "But I have to use my aura to protect you… to protect the Earth!"

"Naruto…" Lala hugged him. "You don't have to fight… I can defend myself. I'll make sure that no one takes me away."

"Can't you repair the seal?"

"The one on your stomach is too complex for me to repair. The only seal programmer I know who could possible do that is the Lucky Seven, but she hasn't been seen in years."

"…Can I learn to control it?"

"A delta being in control of himself?" Lala shook her head. "I've never heard of anyone doing it."

"But it must be possible," Naruto countered. "If I was sealed at age seven, that means I spent seven years of my life unsealed. I must have been able to control myself! I have no memories of going berserk!"

"But how do you know if your memories are correct?" Lala countered. "That seal on your mind could have just erased your memories."

"There's only one way to find out," Naruto sighed. "Lala… remove the seal on my head."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Naruto squeezed her hand. "I'm sure."

"Remember Naruto," Lala put her fingers on his temples. "No matter what you see… I will always love you."

"And I you," Naruto kissed Lala.

"Here we go…" Lala smiled sadly. "I'll see you soon."

"What do you…?" There was an overwhelming sensation of pain and then Naruto passed out.

* * *

Naruto looked around. He seemed to floating in space. All around him were doors that had strange labels on them. There were two statues in the centre of the space. One looked like an angel that was in a bad state of repair. Its wings were cracked and it was missing its arms and head. The other looked like a devil. It too was missing its arms and head as well as parts of the wings. Both were covered in rusted chains that looked like they would break under the slightest bit of force.

"Well… I'm guess this is my mindscape or something," Naruto remarked as he floated around.

"Something like that :D"

Naruto blinked. "How… How did I actually hear the emote there?" Naruto span around to see a green haired, dark skinned devilukian.

"Hey Naru-chan!" She waved. "I'm the Lucky Seven! Fu-chan is my name!"

"Er... What are you doing in my head?"

"Silly! :P" She giggled, "I'm not in your head! This is a just a seal recording of my spirit. I'm here to guide you on the path to recovering your memory!"

"…The hell?" Naruto blinked. "Wait… Lucky Seven? Lala mentioned you were the only one who could fix the seal!"

"Silly Naru-chan!" Fu laughed. "The seal was meant to break!"

"What?"

"I won't say no more!" She danced around. "This gates are the memories that I sealed back when you were a tiny little boy! Don't disappoint my partner and me now!"

"Wait who is… and she's gone," Naruto scowled as the green haired devilukian vanished in a puff of smoke. "Well… I'm guessing that these doors are the links to my memories. Let's do this…" Naruto floated over to one of the doors and touched it…

"_Now you settle down," Minato sighed as a three year old Naruto fidgeted. _

"_Is the new Kaa-san going to be nice?" Naruto looked up to his father. _

"_I'm sure she'll love you." Minato smiled. "Here follow me." _

_The two blondes walked down a street. The entire area seemed to be foggy but none of the blondes seemed to react to the fog. The people passing them by were all featureless and greyed out. Suddenly a vibrant red blur appeared and began to turn into what was unmistakably a younger Kushina Uzumaki. _

"_Kushina-chan!" Minato waved to her. _

"_Minato-kun!" Kushina ran over. "And who is… Naruto?" _

"_Huh? Have you two met before?" Minato blinked. _

"_Ahahaha," Kushina laughed weakly. "Just reminded me of someone I used to know." _

"_That's weird," Minato laughed, "This is my son, Naruto Namikaze." _

"_Hi miss!" Naruto held out a hand. "I'm 'Ruto!'" _

"_Nice to meet you Naruto," Kushina smiled. _

There was a blur of movement and the scene changed from a street to a traditional Japanese style room. A four year old Naruto was sat watching TV with Kushina. Once again a thick fog seemed to surround the two but they didn't seem to acknowledge it.

"_Say… Naruto-kun?" _

"_Hai Kaa-san?" Naruto tilted his head. _

"_Don't call me that," Kushina tapped him lightly on his nose. "Call me Kushi-chan!" _

"_But Tou-san says I should call you kaa-san!" _

"_Ahh… but which one of us cooks the ramen you love so much?" _

"_Kaa-san!" Naruto cheered before being tapped on the nose and pulling a face that Kushina found adorable. "Kushi-chan?" _

"_Hai!" Kushina rubbed her nose against Naruto getting him to giggle. "So Naruto-kun?" _

"_Hai?" _

"_What do you think of the name Deviluke?" _

"_Devil Luke? Is he a villain?" Naruto tilted his head. _

"_Never mind," Kushina smiled sadly. _

"Well that's weird," Naruto scowled. As he found himself back in the floating space. "Kushina knew who I was before we'd ever actually met… maybe dad mentioned me to her. But then he seemed surprised that she knew who I was. Then she mentioned Deviluke… What the hell is going on here?"

"Who knows? :P"

"And you're back." Naruto turned to the mint haired alien.

"Muu… Naruto is being a meany face :,(" She pouted.

"So… do you have any answers for me?" Naruto asked. "Like why the hell you sealed that memory? It doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything!"

"You will answer your own questions in the future! Or would that be in the past? Muu… Fu-chan's head hurts."

"… Right…" Naruto scowled before walking towards another memory.

"Be careful Naru-chan!" Fu smiled. "That memory… isn't pleasant."

"Thanks for the warning," Naruto shook his head and placed his hand on the door…

"_Happy Birthday!" Minato and Kushina clapped their hands. There were wearing part hats and were stood in a familiar room. It was the living room of his old house. It had an old western feel to it, like a cabin in the mountains. The walls were all thick wood and there was even a stone fire place. _

"_Thanks!" Naruto (now aged Six) grinned cheerily. _

"_Now I'm going to get your granddad okay?" Minato stroked his son's hair. "I'm counting on your to defend your Kaa-san okay?" _

"_Hai!" Naruto saluted his father. _

"_That's my little soldier," Minato smiled and left the house. Naruto played with his toys as Kushina finished cooking in the kitchen. _

_There was a knock at the door. _

"_Daddy's back!" Naruto ran to get the door. _

"_But he shouldn't be back for another hour," Kushina muttered as she peered out of the kitchen and at the main door. _

"…_Who are you?" Naruto tilted his head as he opened the door. Two heavily cloaked figures looked at him. _

"_Are you Naruto Deviluke?" One of the cloaked figures growled at him. _

"_Kushi-chan said not to talk to strangers," Naruto went to shut the door but one of the figures stopped him. _

"_He matches the description," The left figure kicked Naruto hard, sending the boy sprawling backwards. "The agency wants you and what the agency wants, the agency gets." _

"_Naruto!" Kushina ran out carrying a knife. "You picked the wrong housewife to fuck with," She growled. _

"_I like a girl with a bit of fire," The one on the right mocked, "I just love it when all that fire is gone and you are just a mindless toy for me to fuck." _

"_I had to clear up after you broke the last one. This one's mine. Her screams of pain as I tear her in half will be delicious to hear." _

"_Stay away…" Naruto's vision was blurred by a red fog. "__**STAY AWAY FROM KUSHI-CHAN!" **_

There was a swirl of movement and the scene changed to one that made Naruto's stomach churn.

_He was stood over the bodies of the two aliens, one had its neck at a strange angle and the other had a bloody hole in its chest and several smaller wounds littering its body. _

"_N…Naruto?" Kushina whispered. _

"_Kushi-chan?" Naruto turned to her, two trails of tears down his face, "What… What did I do? Am… Am I a monster?"_

"_No!" Kushina embraced Naruto in a hug. "You are a hero. You are my brave little Naru-chan." She whispered as she held him close to her. "They were the bad men. You protected me. This wasn't your fault." She looked at the corpses. "They said Deviluke… Could you really be him?" Kushina looked at Naruto intensely. _

"_What the hell?" Minato opened the door and noticed the dead bodies. "What happened here?" _

"_Looks like aliens… at least what's left of them," Jiraiya remarked before glancing at Naruto. "Makes things a little easier seeing as there should be no record of them on Earth so we won't have any disappearances to explain. So…What happened here?" _

"_Naruto protected me," Kushina gently ruffled Naruto's hair as he sobbed quietly into her breasts. _

"…_If I save you can I get a breast hug?" Jiraiya asked._

"_No," Minato and Kushina death glared the old pervert. _

"_Just trying to lighten the mood," Jiraiya held his hands up in surrender. _

"_We need to hide this," Minato ran a hand through his hair. "Give me a hand," Minato started to clean up as Jiraiya burned the evidence. _

"_This wasn't your fault Naruto," Minato smiled at his son. "You protected your mother. Never forget that. This wasn't your fault." _

Naruto stared into space as the door faded away into nothingness. "I killed them."

"I told you that memory wasn't a pleasant one," Fu shook her head.

"I killed them," Naruto repeated. "It was over so fast…" He gulped. "What was that?"

"That is the destructive instinct of a delta class berserker. It's a miracle you didn't turn on Kushi-chan. It was probably your unresolved Mother issues saved her that time."

"I…" Naruto shook his head.

"If you can't go on there is no shame in retreating to fight another day."

"But there is only one memory left," Naruto clenched his fists. "I have to see this to the end."

"I warn you. This memory will change everything."

"…Shit," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Is this the memory of my father's death?"

"…That is possibly the reason."

"I… I have to see." Naruto walked towards the last memory. "I have to know the truth." He touched it.

_Naruto ran through the field laughing as he looked for the ball. It was his seventh birthday and he was playing with his father outside their house. They were kicking a football around when Naruto mishit it and ran after the ball. _

"_Looking for this little boy?" _

_Naruto looked up to see a red haired woman with her foot on the ball. She was wearing some sort of black armour that looked like a medieval knights except that it seemed to bend and cling to her body. Her breasts were almost as big as Kushi-chan's. Her hair was also long like Kushi-chan's. She had six thick black tribal markings that looked a little like whiskers on her face. A tail with a lightning bolt shaped end swung lazily behind her. _

"_Yes miss." Naruto held out his hands for the ball which she pushed towards him. _

"_It's your birthday today… isn't it?" The woman asked. _

"_Yes," Naruto nodded energetically, "I'm seven years old!" _

"_Seven years old huh?" The woman smirked. "By your age I had walked through a river of blood and death just for the chance to be acknowledged by a tyrant. What have you done with your life?" _

"_I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," Naruto started to back away. _

"_Strangers?" The woman sighed heavily. "Is that anyway to talk about your mother?" _

"_Huh?" Naruto frowned. "I don't have a mother. Dad said she abandoned us." _

"_Is that what Minato-koi thought?" She muttered aloud before picking up Naruto, who struggled frantically but to no avail. The woman lifted him up so they were looking at each other eyes. _

"_What's wrong with your eyes?" Naruto asked. They were a fierce red and slitted. _

"_I could ask you the same," The woman smirked as she dropped Naruto, who landed on his rear. _

"_My eyes are fine!" Naruto challenged as he got back to his feet. _

"_What's two hundred miles in the air in that direction," the woman pointed. _

"_No one can see that far!" Naruto challenged. _

"_There are a pair of birds," the woman tilted her head. _

"_You're lying!" Naruto crossed his arms. "Anyone could guess that! You can't see them." _

"_Heh," The woman crouched down so she was once again eye level with Naruto and looked at him fondly. "You're not as stupid as you look are you?" She ruffled his hair fondly. _

"_Thanks," Naruto beamed before pausing. "Hey!" _

"_Come here my little warrior," the woman picked Naruto up and hugged him. "I've waited seven long years to do this. I missed you my son." Her voice started to crack. "Come on my little warrior. Let's go." _

"_Huh?" Naruto started to squirm. "Where are we going? I need to see Dad and Kushi-chan!" _

"_Kushi-chan?" The woman chuckled. "Does little Naruto have a crush on his replacement mother?" _

"_Kushi-chan makes the best ramen!" Naruto defended himself. _

"…_I see." The woman paused before putting Naruto down. "And would you rather stay here with her and your father? Or do you want to see an entire galaxy of interesting things?" _

"…_Can't I take them with me?" Naruto asked. _

"_No… they wouldn't be able to survive." Kurama crouched down and put her hands on Naruto's shoulders. "It would be just you and me."_

"_But dad's really strong!" Naruto flailed his arms. _

"_Naruto?" Minato's voice called. _

"_Dad!" Naruto called. _

"_What's taking you so long?" Minato's voice came closer, "If you've lost the ball then… oh." He froze as he saw the woman holding Naruto. "Kurama-hime… you've returned." _

"_For my son," the now named Kurama tightened her grip on Naruto. _

"_Kurama…" Minato rubbed his forehead. "You can't just show up after seven years and take him!" _

"_I felt his blood awaken," Kurama pointed out. "He can't stay here. I left him because I thought he would be able to pass for human but if his berserker instincts are starting to awaken…" _

"_They aren't!" Minato walked up to her. "Kurama-hime… I loved you and I still do but if you try and take my son…"_

"_He's my son as well!" Kurama growled. "Or do you think that you can control a berserk devilukian?" _

"_He snapped out of it last time!" Minato countered. _

"_Are you willing to bet the life of your pregnant lover?" _

"…_How do you know about that?" Minato asked. _

"_I've been keeping tabs on you. Do you really think that the lack of alien involvement in your life was your own good luck? I've been watching my son grow up over a TV screen! That's when I wasn't fighting for my life against people who want him dead! Look I'm sorry that I missed the two agents but…" _

"_Who wants Naruto dead? And what two agents?" _

"_My adopted brother for one. He has sent two of his best to kill him. The Lucky Seven and the Veiled Beauty. The other agents I mentioned were the two aliens Naruto killed," Kurama adjusted her hold on Naruto who was still struggling to break free. "They were agents of a forbidden project known as the Darkness Project, using fragments of an ancient evil to create super weapons. Apparently they believed Naruto would make a fine host." _

"_And how did they learn about him?" Minato rubbed his forehead. "We are in the middle of nowhere! Just like you advised." _

"_Not all aliens look humanoid. Maybe what you thought was a fox was actually an alien spy." Kurama shrugged. "Or maybe they tapped your phone lines, who knows? The important thing is Naruto is not safe here!" _

"_And he would be safe with you?" Minato scowled. "Space Pirate Kurama?" _

"_At least I can protect him," Kurama countered. "Let's see if you can even stop him raging! __**Naruto: Rage!" **_

_At her words, Naruto's vision went red and foggy. She dropped him and he started to growl like a wild animal. _

"_Naruto!" Minato yelled. "Calm down!" _

_Naruto charged at him in response before pausing and sniffing the area and heading towards the house. _

"_**STOP." **__Kurama ordered to no avail. "Wait… why isn't he stopping?!" Kurama managed to grab a hold of Naruto. "__**STOP DAMN IT!" **_

"_What's happening to him?" Minato asked worrying. _

"_I'm an Omega," Kurama told him. "I can control any lesser berserkers. Naruto is only a delta class but for some reason he is still enraged." Naruto burst from her grasp and ran towards the house. "Well don't just stand there like an idiot, chase him!" Kurama ordered as she ran after Naruto. _

_Naruto arrived at the house to see it on fire. He saw Kushina lying on the floor with a bleeding wound on her pregnant stomach. There was a strange blonde man crouched next to her covered in a blue glow. And everything went red. _

"What… what?!" Naruto blinked furiously. "That's it?"

"Hai!" Fu laughed. "Aww… did Naru-chan think it was going to be that easy? :P"

"I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Nothing in my life ever is," Naruto sighed heavily.

"Trololololol!" Fu laughed.

"All of my hate," Naruto glared at the mint haired devilukian. "So where are the bits of the memory that I haven't seen? And that memory said you were sent to kill me! What the hell happened next?"

"Who knows? :P" Fu vanished in a puff of smoke.

"…Damn it," Naruto closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

* * *

Naruto's eyes shot open and he looked around. He was laid on Lala's lap, the pink haired alien was humming softly and stroking his face.

"Did you find out anything?" Lala asked.

"I… found out things," Naruto calmed himself down. "But there are still some pieces missing."

"The seal protected itself," Lala looked apologetic. "I was able to unravel some of it but it changed its own programing to stop me from unlocking any more. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Naruto smiled and kissed Lala's hand gently. "Thanks to you I at least know something about my mother. She was called Kurama and she didn't abandon me. She looked Devilukian as well. All that time she was protecting me from her adopted brother. And Kushina was pregnant with my half-sister but I think someone killed her." Naruto clenched his fists. "I need to find out more. Apparently the Lucky Seven and someone called the Veiled Beauty were sent to kill me... if i can learn more about them then maybe i can find out what happened that day!"

"That can't be right," Lala blinked.

"What?"

"The woman holding that title is not an assassin."

"You know who she is?"

"Hai," Lala smiled widely at Naruto. "She's my mother."

"… Oh." Naruto finished weakly.

"And did this Kurama have six thick markings on her face?" Lala put her fingers on her face.

"Yeah…"

"Huh," Lala tilted her head. "That makes us cousins then."

"HUH?!"

"Kurama Abados Deviluke was my aunty. The omega I mentioned earlier?"

"WE'RE RELATED?!" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"She was adopted," Lala offered.

"Please don't say we are cousins ever again," Naruto sighed.

"Hai!" Lala hugged him. "I'll just stick to husband then shall I?"

"When did I get upgraded from fiancé?" Naruto remarked with a smile. "WAIT A MINUTE! GID WAS THE ONE TRYING TO KILL ME?!"

"Probably," Lala nodded. "You were the son of his last rival for the throne of Deviluke."

"…" Naruto sighed heavily. "You know what? This sucks!"

There was a crash and Gi-chan charged into the bath before stopping, a dishevelled looking Soma in his mouth.

"You know nothing of suffering!" Soma growled before being swallowed by Gi-chan.


	11. Chapter 11: What Lies Beneath?

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Due to some poor wording on my part in the last chapter there has been a little bit of confusion. I have reworded it but those who read the chapter before the issue was brought to my attention may be a victim of this.

Kurama mentioned that there were two agents that were killed by Naruto. These were 'Agency' (A shadowy organisation) grunts and not the two minions that Gid sent (The Veiled Beauty who is Lala's mother and the Lucky Seven who is Fu.) Naruto had no memories involving those two yet and even as a mindless berserker the young Naruto wouldn't have been able to kill a devilukian that easily.

As I said I have reworded that part of the story but seeing as I am rewriting Chapter 1 to allow for the future changes I have made in the story line seeing as I wasn't expecting Kushina to be as popular as she is (I wrote a very basic backstory for her but that has all been scrapped in order to use a new backstory which I feel is better.)

Oh and the competition has ended and a winner selected. The winner will be announced next chapter.

Momo's 'flaw' is revealed in this chapter… I wonder how many of you predicted it correctly. (I know from reviews that some of you guessed parts of the flaw correctly).

Also WOO! 100K + Words! This storys getting serious! Also with 15 communities and 1000+ Followers and Favourites and an average of 34 reviews a chapter I want to say a big thanks to all you who have left a review or favourited/ followed this story. Without you this would have never gotten past chapter 1!

Anyway Without further ado…

Disclaimer: You get the idea by now.

* * *

Chapter 11: What lies beneath?

"Are we there yet?" Naruto groaned as he banged his head against the window of the bus. He was sat next to Yui who yelling at Ren, who was sat behind them. This was caused by Ren being sat next to Lala and loudly boasting about his manliness. Lala was completely ignoring him in favour of asking Naruto all sorts of questions about the school trip which in turn got Ren to raise his voice. This caused Yui to yell at Ren to shut up as this was a school trip and he should behave himself as his behaviour would reflect upon the school, which got Ren to remark that she didn't understand the concept of love and should but out of things that didn't involve her. Then the two had started arguing. This didn't help the headache Naruto had been suffering from since Lala restored some of his memories. The sheer anger he felt at being denied the facts of his father's death and the inability to do anything about it was proving stressful for the young blonde and was causing him to struggle to sleep thus resulting in his fatigue and headache.

"We will be there in roughly ten minutes," Yui smiled at Naruto before returning her glare at Ren. "As the School Disciplinary officer I have the power to have you sent back home!"

"Really?" Ren challenged.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "Though that's nothing to do with her title. That's simply because she is a cute girl and the principal is weak to cute girls."

"N-Naruto-san!" Yui squeaked at being complimented by Naruto.

"Then I will have Lala tell this principal to let me stay!" Ren turned to Lala for her support.

"I hope we get to room together!" Lala beamed at Naruto, completely ignoring Ren and crushing his spirit. Naruto almost felt sorry for him.

"W-What?" Yui blinked. "How immoral! On school trips boys and girls have separate rooms! Did they not do this at your old school?"

"Er…" Lala blinked cutely. "We never really had any school trips at my last school… I was home schooled."

"Oh…" Yui faltered. "Sorry Deviluke-san, I didn't know. But still two young adults should not be sharing a room! It could lead to… naughtiness." Yui blushed crimson and muttered the last word.

"Naughtiness?" Lala tilted her head and looked thoughtful. "Do you mean like sex?"

"Deviluke-san!" Yui's blush at this point was causing her face to practically glow.

"What?" Lala blinked. "If you love someone isn't it only natural to want to connect with them physically?"

"Well yes," Yui started before twiddling her fingers, "But you should only do those things with someone you are married to…"

"As expected of Yui-chan," Naruto smiled at her. "You are pure at heart," He chuckled before taking a sip from a can.

"Then that's not a problem!" Lala beamed. "Naruto and I are getting married so we can have sex!"

Naruto sprayed the drink over the person in front of him (who happened to be Kenichi).

"That's no excuse!" Yui shook her head furiously. "I will personally keep an eye on you Deviluke-san! I won't have your shameless ways corrupting Naruto-san!"

"Muu…" Lala pouted.

"There, there Lala," Naruto smiled at her.

"Stop encouraging her! It's bad enough you spend time with that Momioka girl," Yui's eyes narrowed. "She is morally bankrupt that girl."

"Yui-chan," Naruto smiled at Yui causing her to feel light headed. "Risa-chan isn't as bad as you make her out to be…"

"I heard Naruto say my name!" Risa called from the back of the bus. "Is he saying all the things he is going to do to me when he sneaks into my room tonight?!"

"So she might be a little flirtatious…" Naruto admitted.

"I can't wait until tonight! Take me now!" Risa yelled and stood up.

"BACK OFF BITCH!" A well thrown shoe hit Risa in the face. "Naru-chan will not be taking you anywhere!"

"Nice shot Uzumaki-sensei!" Kenichi nodded.

"… You're making it real hard to defend you," Naruto muttered under his breath before turning his attention back to Yui who was fuming.

"She is such a shameless woman," Yui growled. "The worst thing is she wants to drag you down to her level," Yui looked at Naruto. "I won't let her!"

"While your concern for me is touching," Naruto sighed. "This is a school trip! Have some fun."

"But if I let my guard down who knows what will happen?" Yui countered. "There could be boys sneaking into girl's rooms and…" She blushed.

"Hmm." Kenichi nodded, "She has a point. I would be honoured to patrol the corridors to prevent such an occurrence!"

"You're one of the people most likely to try and sneak into a girl's room!" Yui accused.

"Yui-chan," Naruto shook his head, "Kenichi wouldn't do that."

"Thank you Manly Sage!" Kenichi beamed.

"He doesn't have a girlfriend and there would be no girl willing to let him in," Naruto finished.

"Just because it's true doesn't mean you can say it out loud," Kenichi slumped.

"Sorry," Naruto looked completely unapologetic. "The only person less likely to do that would be Rito, although he would probably trip over something and end up falling into a girl's room, probably landing on them."

"Do you really have such a low opinion of me?" Rito slumped next to Kenichi, the two radiating an aura of depression.

"So… you are saying you are more likely to visit a girl's room?" Yui challenged.

"I didn't…" Naruto started.

"Are you going to visit me Naruto?" Lala beamed at him.

"I won't let you!" Yui challenged. "Because a man and a girl shouldn't share a room until they are married. And I don't see a ring on your finger," Yui cut off Lala's response leaving the girl pouting cutely.

"And are you going to patrol the hotel at night to prevent that from happening?" Naruto tilted his head. "Not that I was planning on leaving my room or anything."

"I will do what my duty demands of me." Yui clenched her fists. "Even if I have to handcuff myself to you to stop you!"

"…Your 'duty' is that of a school girl," Naruto chuckled. "You are supposed to have fun and relax on school trips. It's the teachers' jobs to keep everyone out of trouble. Besides isn't handcuffing yourself to me going to lead to 'shameless' rumours being spread about us?"

"T-That's a risk I would be willing to take," Yui blushed as she looked away, "Besides have you seen our teachers?"

"Well…" Naruto glanced at the front of the bus where the teaching staff were all sat. Kushina was alternating between blowing kisses at him and death glaring all the girls who happened to be sat near him, the Principal was giggling whilst reading Icha Icha aliens, Mikado was occasionally glancing at him whilst sucking seductively on pink ice cream that seemed to have some sort of white filling that oozed out and his homeroom teacher appeared to be holding a conversation with his reflection. "… Seriously how has our school not been closed down yet?"

* * *

"Man…" Risa rubbed her face. "Uzumaki-sensei has a mean throw." She was sat at the back of the bus with Haruna and Mio.

"She is Uzumaki-san's mother," Haruna smiled at her friend. "You should be more careful about what you say about him in her presence. She is fiercely protective of him. I'm surprised that she seems to get along with Lala-san."

"Have you tried holding a grudge against Lala?" Mio shook her head. "She is almost too innocent. It would be like hating a puppy."

"I know what you mean as much as I hate that…" Risa muttered under her breath. As much as she liked Lala as a person, the strides she was making in her relationship with Naruto made her efforts seem trivial. She couldn't help but remember Lala's little sisters words about sharing Naruto. She loved the blonde for all that he had done for her but was she really willing to share him? Add to that she really didn't trust the young Deviluke. The look in that Momo's sent shivers down the young school girl's spine (and not the kind she got when she saw Naruto without his shirt on). It was some sort of primal knowledge that the girl was dangerous. Not just to her chances with Naruto but to her very life and this was Lala's younger sister. Who knew what dangers lurked beneath Lala's smile?

"Pardon?" Haruna glanced at Risa who smiled uneasily.

"Nothing," Risa laughed awkwardly before pulling out the trip leaflet. "So we are headed to a special hotel right?"

"That's right," Mio nodded. "Apparently the place we usually use for summer school offered us a special booking. Although I believe that is just the excuse the principal made up. He has a soft spot for the owner of this hotel."

"A soft spot?" Risa blinked. "I thought he had a 'soft spot' for pretty much everything female."

"That's true," Mio nodded. "But even more so for the landlady apparently."

"Anyway, there's only one thing I'm looking forward to!" Risa grinned. "The night!"

"Why is that?" Haruna blinked.

"Oh poor naive Haruna," Risa sighed dramatically. "Do you not see the potential? These next few nights all the boys will be trying to visit their girls for a night of debauchery!"

"There are teachers and staff patrolling," Mio pointed out.

"And?" Risa smirked. "That won't be enough to put off the majority of the boys. Although I suppose it isn't in Naruto's character to be so aggressive sexually. If only his aggression when it comes to fighting could transfer into his love life."

"Uzumaki-san is a gentle person," Haruna frowned, "He only fights for others and respects women so doesn't treat them as a sex object."

"Which is admirable," Risa agreed, "But it is also a bit of a pain. He respects women to the point that he doesn't take any chances because he doesn't want to hurt the girl. From what I've heard all the major landmarks in Lala and Naruto's relationship all came from Lala being proactive!"

"Would you prefer for Naruto to be like the other guys?" Mio tilted her head.

"What? Another horn dog?" Risa pulled a face, "I'm not asking for him to drool around me, just for him to actually respond to my advances!"

"Maybe he's gay," Mio started drooling. "After all Kenichi is his loyal 'slave' and he also has Rito and Ren as well."

"And there she goes," Risa sighed whilst Haruna giggled.

* * *

"Welcome students of Sainan High!" An attractive woman in a Kimono bowed her head to the group of students as they entered the hotel. "Thank you for travelling such a long distance to see us." She had a large group of similarly dressed women behind her.

"Hey," Kenichi muttered to Naruto and Rito, "She's really pretty! Do you have any plans to add her to your harem master?"

"I don't plan to add anyone to my harem." Naruto sighed before noting Yui's glare, "I don't have a harem!" She simply scoffed in reply and turned her attention back to the landlady.

"Then if you have no interest in her," Kenichi grinned. "I have a chance!"

"Er…" Naruto paused. "I guess but it looks like you have competition," Naruto nodded to the entrance where a delighted principal was charging the woman.

"Takami-chan!" He cried out in joy, "I wanted to see you!" He was silenced by a fierce punch to the face that sent him hurtling backwards. He staggered to his feet wiping away the blood from his face. "You are still cold hearted Takami-chan."

"Are you still interested in her?" Naruto asked.

"The greater the challenge, the more satisfying the rewards!" Kenichi remarked.

"Hm," Naruto nodded. "That's true sometimes."

"Of course it is!" Kenichi laughed. "I got the phrase from you after all!"

"If you care to follow me," Takami smiled at the students who followed her leaving the wounded principal behind to recover. She guided them to a large hall with plenty of mats laid out on the floor for them to kneel on. "This is the Main hall. As you can see there are two corridors. The left corridor leads to the male rooms, the right corridor to the female rooms. There are two large bathing areas here, one for each of the genders. They are separated by a large wall but if you try and climb the wall to peak on the other side, I will have to punish you ok?" She walked on to the main stage as the students got seated.

There were quite a lot of boys who seemed to blush at the prospect of being 'punished' by Takami, chief amongst them was Kenichi.

"You can punish me anytime!" The principal declared as he took to the main stage. "Now tonight we are going to have a special event!"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Naruto muttered to himself.

"Tonight we were originally going to have a dare but we have decided on another event!" The principal declared happily. "Tonight will be a special surprise! All I can say is that it will be fun right Takami-chan?" The principal dived at the woman lips pursed.

"I think they'll find it dead fun," Takami smiled darkly as she ducked under the principal's lunge and slammed her palm into his jaw sending him rocketing skywards and getting his head stuck in the roof.

"Did anyone else get a bad feeling about that?" Naruto shivered slightly.

"But first it is time for you to go to your assigned rooms!" Takami clapped her hands and several attractive women all wearing kimonos entered the room with lists. "When your name is called go to the woman who called it and they will show you to your rooms!"

* * *

"Nice place," Naruto remarked as he walked around his room, before glancing at his fellow roommates.

"It is," Rito nodded smiling. "It reminds me of the room Mikan and I are staying at whilst they repair our house."

"Is Mikan home alone?" Naruto paused.

"No," Rito smiled. "Some of her friends invited her to stay at their house while I am here, plus Dad has been regularly checking in with her."

"Good," Naruto nodded. "At a time like this she needs to be with people she trusts."

"I offered to stay behind but she told me not to be stupid. Although she said that she wanted plenty of pictures of what we get up to." Rito laughed.

"I wonder what this secret event is," Kenichi remarked as he and Ren entered the room. "Wow, nice!" He looked around.

"I've seen better rooms," Ren remarked casually.

"So I'm stuck in a room with you huh?" Naruto sighed.

"That's my line!" Ren declared. "I don't know what this special event is but I declare I will defeat you in it and claim the title of manliest man!"

"Remember when he said he was my apprentice," Naruto reminisced. "That was a fun week. An entire week without him challenging me."

"But now I am the master!" Ren declared.

"No… no you're not." Kenichi shook his head. "Not until you have known a woman's loving touch can you be called a man never mind a master of men!"

"I know a woman's touch!" Ren challenged. "The forceful grip as she pins you down and puts you in girl's clothing!"

"I don't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for you," Naruto shook his head.

"That's not right at all, a woman's loving touch is nothing like that!" Kenichi challenged.

"And you would know?" Ren retorted.

"Er…" Kenichi faltered. "I wouldn't know," He admitted, "But the manly Sage does!"

"Wait what?" Naruto paused.

"You and Lala are in a relationship right?" Kenichi blinked. "You must have done 'that'."

"You mean… sex?" Naruto shuffled uneasily.

"Hah!" Ren grinned smugly. "That's the response of a virgin if I ever saw it!"

"Says you!" Naruto growled. "The only reason you recognise it is because it is how you react all the time jack ass!"

"Are you starting a fight with me bastard!" Ren growled.

"It wouldn't be a fight," Naruto smirked. "A fight implies you would have a chance against me. It would be a massacre."

"Now, now," Rito stepped between the two smiling weakly. "We are here to have fun right? Let's all go bathe and relax."

"Right," Naruto sighed as he rubbed his temples. His headache was making him irritable and a nice relaxing bath sounded good right now. "A bath it is."

"After all," Kenichi smirked. "The girls are probably bathing right now."

"Haruna-chan bathing…" Rito went crimson.

"Lala-chan bathing…" Ren blushed before glaring at Naruto, "Stop thinking of Lala like that!"

"Thinking of Lala like what?" Naruto scowled. Ren usually was an annoyance but with the headache he was suffering from, Ren's voice was upgraded to infuriating. "I don't need to fantasise about Lala naked."

"What does that mean?!" Ren staggered backwards.

"She sleeps in the nude," Naruto headed towards the bathing area.

"…" Kenichi clenched his fists, tears trailing down his face. "Now that… that is the sign of a Manly Man!"

"Huh?" Ren blinked.

"Think about it," Kenichi crossed his arms. "How would he know that Lala sleeps in the nude unless she shared a bed with him?"

"…" Ren and Rito blinked stupidly.

"THAT BASTARD!" Ren roared as he raced after Naruto.

"I wish I was as confident as Naruto," Rito muttered before imagining Haruna-chan naked in his bed and promptly passing out.

Kenichi looked at the fallen form of Rito and shook his head. "If you want to appeal to Haruna more than the manly sage you really need to stop this habit of passing out Rito. No woman can resist his charms for long. If you don't hurry then Haruna will fall for Naruto!" He finished before abandoning Rito in favour of a chance at peeking at the girls.

* * *

"Ah!" Risa relaxed in the bath with a smile. "There's nothing quite like a hot bath to make all your cares ease away!"

"Cover yourself!" Yui blushed as she adjusted her towel. "Have you no shame?"

"We are all girls here," Risa smirked as she leaned on Haruna. "I mean just check out Haruna-chan here!" Risa threw her arms around Haruna and squeezed her breasts.

"Risa!" Haruna blushed as she escaped from Risa's hug.

"Haha!" Risa shook her head, "You are over reacting!"

"Leave Sarenji alone sex fiend!" Kushina remarked as she joined the girls in the bath. "Stupid separate bathing. How am I supposed to get recharge my Naru-Love power if they separate us like this?!"

"Er… should you really talk about your son like that Convict?" Risa asked.

"He isn't my son, I am just his legal guardian up until he becomes my husband," Kushina declared. "And who the hell are you calling convict?!"

"If you call me a sex fiend then I'll call you a convict, after all you were arrested right?" Risa smirked.

"He refers to you as mother though," Haruna trying to defuse the forthcoming argument but only succeeding in drawing Kushina's glare upon herself.

"He used to," Kushina admitted. "But lately he has started calling me Kushina! It's a positive sign! He is shaking off the brainwashing of this corrupt world!"

"The only corrupt thing here is your mind," Yui muttered under her breath.

"You starting a fight?" Kushina growled at Yui.

"Your shameless actions are disgraceful for a mother!" Yui shook her head. "It is people like you who are ruining the moral character of Japan!"

"…Seriously?" Kushina blinked. "I'm responsible for ruining the moral character of the nation that is known for its tentacle porn?" She shook her head. "Besides why are you so interested in Naruto? Don't you have a boyfriend? Isn't cheating on him a bigger affront to the 'moral character' of our nation?"

"How does everyone know about that?" Yui blinked.

"Don't dodge the question," Risa smirked, "Or is our 'pure little Yui' a naughty girl? Are you thinking about Naruto when you are making out with your boyfriend? Do you call his name when you make love?"

"I am a virgin!" Yui protested loudly.

"If you don't put out your boyfriend will lose interest in you," Risa warned.

"I…" Yui frowned. "The person I like isn't like that!"

"Your boyfriend?" Risa crawled over to Yui, "Or Naruto?"

"Momioka-san!" Yui retreated from Risa.

"It's not a bad thing you know," Risa sat down and stared into space. "I mean… he is a good person."

"Momioka-san?"

"Call me Risa," Risa stretched out. "I was just thinking, there are quite a few people interested in our blonde wonder aren't there? I mean there is you, me, Kushina and Lala. There is going to be a lot of hurt people... unless we learn to get along and… well share him?"

"As expected of you," Yui remarked. "Suggesting such an indecent thing!"

"That's kind of what Lala would say," Kushina blinked. "I wonder what made you start to consider that as an option. Did Lala convince you? On that note has anyone actually seen her?"

"Hi!" Lala beamed as she ran into the bath.

"Speak of the devil," Kushina sighed before sinking into the bath with a happy sigh.

"She's energetic as always," Risa chuckled. "I wonder if that is why Naruto likes her so much."

"Are we talking about Naruto?" Lala beamed as she sat down with the girls.

"Yes," Risa sighed. "We are talking about your boyfriend."

"Heheh!" Lala hugged herself happily. "I feel so warm when people address him like that. You should tell him how you feel!"

"What?" Risa and Yui blinked.

"Well," Lala looked thoughtful. "If you confess to Naruto then you could feel this way as well!"

"But he is dating you," Yui pointed out.

"And?" Lala tilted her head. "I have already said I am willing to share. After all I always wanted a big family!"

"A big…" Yui shook her head furiously. "Do you have any idea how shameless you sound?!"

"If making Naruto and his precious people happy is immoral, then I am proud to be called it." Lala countered crossing her arms. "How can it be wrong if it makes people happy?"

"But…" Yui started.

"If you live life by what is 'moral' you'll end up just watching your happiness fly away." Lala smiled softly. "Sometimes you've got to break the rules! It's more fun that way."

"I will not be some… some cheap floozy on the side!" Yui proclaimed.

"Naruto would never treat you like that," Lala pointed out.

"Good night," Yui stormed out of the bathroom. _'I can't believe that girl! It is quite clear to me that all the girls in his life are trying to corrupt him! If I don't do something soon then… then he might become a pervert. I can't let that happen, no matter what the cost.' _She paused as she reached the exit of the baths and looked as Lala seemed to be investigating the water pumping into the springs whilst the other girls carried on talking. '_If that means I have to convince him to date me instead of Lala then so be it! I mean… it's not as if I am against the idea of dating Naruto and spending more time with him. Plus I enjoy the feeling when he smiles at me… But I'm not interfering for such an immoral reason! This is purely because guiding Naruto down the right path is my duty as the moral guardian of the school!' _Sometimes Yui's logic is pretty messed up.

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "Why is she so stubborn?"

"You know Lala," Risa sighed, "It isn't exactly normal to have multiple lovers unless you are cheating on them."

"That's dumb…" Lala clenched her fists. "Stupid Earth rules."

"Earth rules?" Risa blinked.

"Yeah back on Deviluke we don't have any stupid rules like that."

"Deviluke?"

"My home planet," Lala paused realising the strange looks she was getting from the other girls (except Kushina who had face palmed). "I'm an alien… see?" She waved her tail around for the girls to see. "OH!" She blinked. "Naruto said I was supposed to keep the fact I'm an alien hidden didn't he?"

Kushina prepared herself for the chaos.

"That makes so much sense," Risa nodded.

"What?" Kushina blinked.

"Well Lala-chi is a little weird," Mio pointed out, "And seems to lack the knowledge that most of us humans would take for granted. Plus she is crazy strong and sexy."

"So this father that Naruto is fighting against…" Risa started.

"Is the Emperor of the Galaxy," Lala smiled.

"You're an alien princess," Risa blinked. "Wow… I… I knew competing with you would be difficult but… wow you are a genuine princess."

"as the devilukian heir, Lala is arguably one of the most politically powerful people in the entire galaxy," Mikado joined them in the bath. "Just so you know."

"How do you know that?" Risa asked.

"I'm an alien as well," Mikado smiled as she showed her pointed ears before covering them up. "I was a black market doctor who set up a clinic for all the aliens who end up stranded on Earth. A student got me out of some trouble twenty years ago so to repay the favour I signed up as a nurse at his school."

"And… the principal? Is he an alien?"

"No." Mikado smiled apologetically. "He's human I'm afraid."

"You are all taking this a lot better than I expected," Kushina remarked.

"Meh," Risa shrugged. "Alien princess or not, Lala-chi is Lala-chi."

"You sounded like Naruto then!" Lala clapped cheerfully.

"I guess he is rubbing off on me," Risa remarked, "Though I really wish he'd rub _in _me."

"Back off bitch!" Kushina started trying to drown Risa.

"I know what you mean," Mikado smiled. "I've done enough physicals on Naruto to know he is _very _well endowed."

Kushina growled at the busty nurse as Haruna and Mio passed out from blood loss.

"Don't you think the boy's would love to see this," Risa remarked as Kushina and Mikado started grappling with each other. "I wonder what they are up to now."

* * *

"I know I should probably do something about this," Naruto adjusted the towel wrapped around his waist as he watched Kenichi and Ren try to climb the massive wall that separated the two sides of the bath. Rito had somehow been encouraged into joining them. "But watching them fail is actually entertaining. Maybe if I thought there was any chance of them succeeding I would step in."

"It is funny isn't it?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded before freezing and turning to the side. "Momo?!" Sure enough the devilukian princess was naked and smiling at Naruto seductively.

"Hi honey," Momo smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sat on his lap. "You left me all alone. Do you know how that made me feel?" She trailed a finger around Naruto's chest. "Left at home… all alone…" She whispered in his ears. "And we never finished what we started the day after your birthday." She guided his hand to her breasts. "If I recall you had just started to play with my breasts."

"Momo!" Naruto hissed as he pulled his hand from her grasp before glancing at the boys trying to peek on the girls, unaware of the completely naked one behind them. "You shouldn't be here!"

"Don't you like seeing me?" Momo pouted.

Naruto sighed, "It's not that. You are one of my precious people but I don't think you should be on the boy's side of the baths."

"Oh I see," Momo smiled as she walked behind Naruto and hugged him, pressing her breasts into his back. "You don't want anyone else to see my body." Her tail wrapped started to sneak underneath his towel.

"Well," Naruto frowned as he started feeling light headed as Excalibur reacted to Momo's tail. He could hear whispers on the far range of his hearing but couldn't make out what was being said.

"Naruto?" Momo paused uncertainly, her tail paused in its slow attack on Naruto, gently stroking his inner thigh.

"I…" Naruto rubbed his forehead. His headache was getting worse and his vision started going blurry and his body moving without his approval. He was watching through a red haze as he turned to face Momo.

**_She smells of desire… Claim her… She is yours to do with as you wish… _**

"Naruto?" Momo repeated as Naruto turned around with a hungry look on his face. His usually blue eyes had gone red.

"**Momo…" **His voice was strangely erotic and it caused shivers down her spine as his hands began to massage her breasts. "**You are mine…" **He started nipped on her neck.

"Naruto…" Momo moaned, "What brought this on?"

Before he could respond Rito dislodged a stone that fell from the wall and hit Naruto no the head, shaking him from his lust controlled state.

"Naruto!" Momo gasped as Naruto shook his head causing the red tint to vanish and control of his body.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked stupidly before pulling his hand away from her breasts. "Sorry!" His headache subsided a little and his vision cleared.

"I'm not angry," Momo hugged him. "I was pleasantly surprised to be honest. Although your eyes went a bit weird… Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"What like?" Naruto shook his head.

"Well… explaining that might be a good start."

Naruto paused for a moment before speaking, "Lala thinks it's because I am half devilukian. I am a delta class berserker apparently. I have a seal on me but that seal is weakening and apparently the more I use my aura the weaker it gets. With all you girls around me combined with the weakening of the seal, I find myself hearing the lust of my devilukian side. I… I haven't lost control like that for a while."

"But you don't look like a devilukian," Momo tilted her head.

"The seal is suppressing my Devilukian genes as well as its instincts," Naruto called upon his aura causing the seal to appear visible to Momo's eyes.

"That seal…" Momo whispered as she traced the markings on Naruto's stomach. "I've seen one similar to it."

"You have?" Naruto blinked.

"Did… Did Lala tell you the side effect of that seal?"

"She said it repressed my anger and my lust which are the main emotions that drive a berserker. It also suppresses my devilukian DNA or something like that." Naruto dropped his aura.

"Is that all she said?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"That is true I suppose," Momo walked away. "I'm guessing the different part is the gene suppressant."

"Different part?"

"The other part of the seal that suppresses your lust, that is not strictly speaking true. I'm sure that you can still feel lust."

"Yeah," Naruto admitted. "The seal you've seen didn't have the gene suppressant on it?"

"No…" Momo bit her lip. "The way the lust seal works is it removes a berserkers urge to reproduce by… by manipulating the hormones in the body. This has the side effect of removing its ability to produce offspring."

"What?" Naruto blinked. "Are you telling me I can't have children?!"

"In a male it basically puts your sperm into stasis. They multiply to keep their numbers up but can't fertilise anything. It takes to long for them to wake up after leaving your body. Theoretically you can still have children but the odds are very slim. You could store your sperm in a sperm bank as after a few weeks they would wake up so long as they weren't in the presence of your seal but even then they wouldn't be the healthiest. So long as that seal remains active the chances of you getting someone pregnant are slim to non-existent."

Naruto stared at the floor of the bath. "I… I always wanted to have loads of kids…"

"In a woman the seal prevents her eggs from maturing and being released. The pros of that is that the woman will never have a period so long as the seal is working. But she can never get pregnant." Momo's hands rested on her stomach.

"Momo?" Naruto looked up hearing the tone of her voice.

"When I was young I was different to Onee-sama and Nana." Momo had tears in her eyes. "They were born of the lord class… they were born to be rulers, to be leaders. I on the other hand." Momo looked at Naruto with tears trailing down her face. "I was born a delta class berserker. I couldn't be left alone with my sisters because I would try and kill them. Berserkers instinctively hate Lord class devilukians but no-one seems to know why. I could only watch as my body would attack them."

"Momo…" Naruto whispered softly as he stroked her hair.

"They sealed me to stop me attacking them," Momo sobbed. "I had always wanted a family and at the time it didn't seem like a big deal. I would get to have a true family with Lala and Nana. It is only now that I have found someone I love that I realise the issue. So long as I have this seal, I will never be able to have children and if you remove this seal… I will become a mindless beast."

"The same as me…" Naruto hugged the crying Momo to his chest. "Is there no way to overcome it?"

"None that I know of," Momo muttered as she sobbed into Naruto's chest. "Theoretically an Omega class can supress the berserker instinct of other berserkers but they are a myth."

"No… no they're not," Naruto smiled and raised Momo's face to his own. "My mother was an Omega class."

"Then…" There was a flicker of hope in Momo's eyes.

"Yeah," Naruto wiped away her tears. "If I could find her, maybe she could teach us how to supress the berserker instinct or failing that just suppress ours. She was called Kurama Abados Deviluke if my memory serves me, although admittedly thanks to a damn annoying green haired devilukian I don't actually know if I can trust my memories."

"Kurama Abados Deviluke?" Momo blinked, "The leader of the Opposing side at the end of the Unification Wars? The Strongest of the Holy Nine Warriors?"

"And your adopted aunty yes," Naruto nodded. "Although I hadn't heard of the nine warriors."

"They were my father's greatest warriors in the Devilukian civil war, all of them were adopted by my grandfather in order to make them compete for the title of his heir. It didn't work and they all united to overthrow him as he was a tyrant however after that there was a disagreement that lead to the Unification Wars. Your mother and the holy knights opposed Father… but he was a far better tactician and was able to defeat them," Momo looked uncertain, "Your mother hasn't been seen since some time after that."

"Nine years ago?" Naruto offered.

"Something like that yes," Momo nodded.

"She was last seen on Earth. I remember meeting her but I don't know how that ended because my memories are sealed," Naruto sighed. "If I could regain my memories…"

"You might know where she is," Momo looked at Naruto, "And that means…"

"You will be able to have all the children you want," Naruto ruffled her hair fondly.

"I will bear you all the children you could ever want," Momo kissed him softly.

"ARGH!" There was a loud splash as Rito lost his footing on the wall and started to fall, grabbing Kenichi to try and steady himself but instead pulling the self-proclaimed apprentice of the manly sage down to Earth with him. Kenichi grabbed Ren in a desperate attempt to halt their fall but only succeeded in dragging the alien with him and Rito and they crashed into the bath ungraciously.

"Crap!" Naruto picked Momo up bridal style, "I completely forgot about them!" He ran out of the bathroom and into the hallway before freezing at the sight before him. "…Ah."

"Uzumaki-san," Yui's eyebrow was twitching. "What exactly is going on here?"

"Well," Naruto shuffled uneasily. "What are you doing in the boy's half of the inn?"

"I asked the question first!" Yui growled.

"Well…" Naruto glanced at Momo who was looking at him with a smile.

"I'll explain this," Momo smiled.

"Thanks," Naruto nodded.

"Naruto-kun here was just taking me to his room to ravage me senseless." Momo smiled. "Care to join us?"

"MOMO!" Naruto cried out.

"UZUMAKI!" Yui staggered backwards, "Such shameless behaviour! Even for you!" _'So he will cheat on Lala with this girl but not me… Wait what am I thinking?! Cheating is wrong no matter what!' _

"Is that a No because look at what you are turning down!" Momo pulled away Naruto's towel.

There was an eerie silence as Yui's eyes focused on his crotch.

"Er…" Naruto adjusted his hold on Momo. "Yui-chan?"

"I won't be corrupted!" Yui suddenly ran away clutching her nose. _'It's even bigger than I remember! Now amazi- I mean indecent! That's what I meant!' _Yui was so focused on Naruto's 'Excalibur' that she forgot to ask the one question that would bug her later on. _'Who the hell was that Momo girl?' _

* * *

"I was so close to seeing Lala-chan," Ren sobbed as he limped back to his room, tailed by Rito and Kenichi. He had twisted his ankle after they had fallen in the bath and considering he could barely walk that meant climbing the wall again was impossible.

"I think it's a good thing that I didn't see Haruna-chan naked…" Rito blushed crimson, "I don't think they would have liked it." _'I can just imagine Haruna looking at me like I'm a disgusting insect…' _

"It's that attitude that is why you are single," Ren shook his head condescendingly. "Girls like a man who knows what he wants!"

"Forgive me if I don't take love life advice from a stalker." Rito shook his head.

"Who are you calling a stalker?" Ren drew himself to his full height.

"Well let's be honest," Rito crossed his arms. "Lala likes Naruto and doesn't even acknowledge your existence so long as Naruto is nearby. You are basically stalking her since you followed her from… wherever it was that you two used to live."

"Is that so? Then I propose a wager!" Ren smirked. "If I get a kiss from Lala before you get a kiss from Haruna, then I win. If you get your kiss first you win."

"And what do we win exactly?" Rito asked.

"Manly pride?" Ren offered. "Or how about a punishment for the loser."

"Such as?" Rito frowned.

"If you get your kiss first I must give up on Lala. If I get my kiss first you must give up on Haruna."

"Deal!" Rito glared at Ren. Naruto was his friend and he knew Naruto didn't like Ren's constant attempts to woo Lala. After all that Naruto had done for him, the least he could do in return was get Ren to back off. Besides thanks to Naruto's training Rito was sure that he could possibly in the right circumstances maybe kiss Haruna-chan. Theoretically. Which was an improvement over Ren's chances of getting a kiss from Lala which were too small to calculate.

"I can't believe I wasn't able to peek on the girls," Kenichi groaned as he rubbed his shoulders. "I think I dislocated my arm when we fell down." The three boys entered their room and froze.

"Who the hell are you?" Nana scowled as she sat on the back of a giant three headed dog. It was a huge black monster, easily four foot tall when still standing on four legs. It looked like it was the illegitimate love child of a tank and an Alsatian that had been in a freak accident and struck by gamma waves that turned it into a massive monster of destruction when it got angry, only it was always angry. Each head had blood red eyes and teeth that would put a great white to shame. While Rito and Kenichi froze in fear, Ren simply tilted his head as he stared at the girl.

"You look familiar to me," Ren scowled. "But I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Er…" Kenichi noticed her tail and came to one conclusion, "Are you a devil here to steal our souls?"

"A devil?" Nana looked thoughtful, "I suppose you aren't a million miles from the truth. Cerby-chan could smell the scent of someone I am looking for."

"Cerby-chan?" Rito blinked then quickly cowered as all three of the dogs heads growled menacingly at him.

"That's right," Nana jumped off the back of the dog and scowled at the three boys. "I am looking for a Naruto Uzumaki. Have you seen him?"

"I see…" Kenichi scowled. "His manliness is so overwhelming that even the legions of hell wish to recruit him to get more women to fall into sin!"

"Sure let's go with that," Nana waved a hand dismissively.

"I have a feeling I have seen someone like you before…" Ren noticed her tail. "Ah! You are Lala's baby sister!"

"Baby sister?" Nana blinked.

"Well I'm assuming so seeing as you have a young girl's body." Ren shrugged.

"Are you calling me flat?" Nana's voice had lost all emotion, which should have been a hint that Ren should stop talking. Unfortunately Ren was not the sharpest tool in the shed.

"Compared to Lala yes." Ren nodded.

"Cerby-chan," Nana pointed at the boys, "Sick 'em!"

"I repent oh lord! Please save me from this demon!" Kenichi declared as he fled the room closely followed by Rito and Ren, the three headed hell hound snapping at their heels in the direction of the kitchens where they proceeded to knock over a crate of cooking supplies, scattering all sorts of ingredients in their mad flight.

"Stupid humans," Nana put her hands on her breasts. "Naruto doesn't care about that… does he?" She walked up to a mirror and started to push her breasts together in an attempt to make them seem bigger. "He doesn't care that I am stuck in this… this form. Right?"

* * *

Naruto sighed as he and Momo (now fully dressed) walked around the hotel. They had visited his room to get dressed (Naruto in his school uniform, Momo in her usual dress which apparently she had left there) before Naruto offered to give Momo a tour of the hotel, or at least the parts of it he had seen. Also he didn't want Kenichi to meet Momo. If she started talking about her harem plans Kenichi would probably declare Manly Sage-ism as a religion and her as the head priestess or worse try and help her fulfil her plans for Naruto.

"You shouldn't make fun of Yui-chan up like that," Naruto shook his head. "You know she is an innocent and pure girl."

"You mean she is a prude," Momo rolled her eyes. "If she wants in the harem she's going to have to get used to seeing a little skin."

"Stop trying to recruit people into the harem!" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Don't you think between you and your sisters I have my hands full! Especially considering the three of you are all devilukian!"

"Worried that you won't be able to satisfy us all?" Momo smiled at him. "Don't be so stupid. We aren't that shallow. We love you for you. Even if you can't satisfy us physically in bed, just by being with you satisfies us spiritually."

"Don't go writing me off before I've even started," Naruto frowned.

"Naruto," Momo shook her head, "That's not what I meant. I'm sure you will be fantastic in bed. What I am saying is that you shouldn't worry about it so much. Is that the reason you haven't made a move on Lala yet?"

"Well… the whole losing control of myself when my libido starts to rise is more of a concern to be honest," Naruto frowned slightly. "But now you mention it you girls have crazy stamina and strength."

"But if you touch our tails we lose all of that," Momo pointed out. "And it feels really good to us. At least when someone we like does it. Otherwise it is uncomfortable."

"Why is that?" Naruto asked.

"Why is the clitoris so sensitive?" Momo countered. "I didn't design our bodies so I really couldn't tell you. You'd have to ask a Damus."

"Which are all extinct," Naruto shook his head.

"Well…" Momo pulled a face, "Not exactly. There are fragments of their souls floating around."

"The Damus seals," Naruto nodded. "Do you have one as well?"

"As well?"

"Lala told me about her seal of Satalin."

"Ah," Momo nodded, conjuring a small red seal on the back of her hand. "This is the seal of Velia. Pretty disappointing compared to Onee-sama's I know. Velia was a lesser general in the Damus forces. I'd say you might have a small chance of injuring me whilst using it."

"Just injuring you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Momo smiled. "Onee-sama's seal is much more powerful, you wouldn't even be able to land a hit on her."

"Remind me why I agreed to show you around," Naruto deadpanned. "All you've done is crush my confidence."

"Because I'm sexy and you know it?"

Any further conversation was interrupted when Kenichi skidded around a corner and ran towards the pair.

"Flee manly sage!" He warned. "A demon has come to claim your soul!"

"Just another day in the life of Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto sighed as Kenichi raced by.

"Three headed dog!" Rito yelled out as he ran by Naruto.

"Huh," Naruto started stretching out. "Sounds like a possible assassin."

"Unlikely," Momo shook her head. "Nana was using one of her animal friends to follow your bus here. It's likely that she is responsible."

"Oh… How did you know where I was?" Naruto asked.

"I overheard Kushina talking about it." Momo smiled innocently. '_It's totally not because I have a small army of drones constantly monitoring you. Honest.' _

"Okay," Naruto paused as he heard a loud sneeze followed by a high pitched scream.

"Someone's in trouble!" Naruto ran towards the sound whilst Momo watched him go.

"Always have to be the damn hero don't you," Momo scowled. "How's a girl supposed to lure you into a closet and ravish you if you insist on saving everyone who needs help?"

Naruto rounded a corner and spotted a green haired girl with her back against the wall whilst the largest dog he had ever seen slowly advanced on her, three heads growling and snapping at her. She had warm pink eyes and was wearing what looked like a male Sainan High uniform that didn't fit her well.

"So damn cool," Naruto grinned. "A genuine Cerberus! Are you okay miss?"

"Naruto?" The green haired girl's face lit up. "You've come to save me again!"

"Again?" Naruto turned his attention to the dog. "Have we met before?"

"I will never forget that moment… back when you protected me from that ghost!"

"A Ghost?" Naruto frowned as he stood between the girl and the Cerberus. "Listen, can you walk? If so get out of here, I'll deal with this creature."

"As expected of my hero," She sighed happily. "So fearless!"

"Er Right," Naruto glanced over his shoulder at the girl who was making no move at all to escape. In fact she seemed quite content to just sit and stare at him. He shivered slightly before holding out his hand to the giant dog. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."

The large creature sniffed Naruto's hand with one of its heads.

"There you go," Naruto stroked its head. "Who's a good girl?" He started scratching the dog behind on of its ears, causing the massive creature to roll over and start kicking its leg. "You're just a big softy aren't you?"

This was the scene Momo arrived to see. "Er…" she blinked. She wasn't sure how to tell Naruto that the creature was a feared Devilukian Ravager, known for their short temper and ferocious appetite. No one had ever tamed one (except Nana but her special gift was kind of cheating). Yet here he was rubbing its belly as the natural killing machine kicked its leg whilst two of the three heads licked Naruto. The third was yapping happily.

"I've always had a way with animals," Naruto shrugged noticing Momo's look.

"How did you know it was a girl?" Momo asked.

"Huh?" Naruto paused in his ministrations until a head nudged him with its nose and he continued, "I just knew. I can't really explain it."

"Cerby-chan?" Nana walked around the corner. "Did you eat the annoying humans?"

"If you are talking about Kenichi, he is still alive," Naruto responded.

"Sorry Mistress," the giant dog barked. "Your mate distracted me with ear scratches and belly rubs. They were nice."

"Oh…" Nana smiled widely at the scene. "I see you found Naruto then Cerby-chan. Thanks for the assist and he's not my… well… you know. At least not yet." She muttered under her breath although the dog could hear it clearly.

"It was my pleasure mistress." Cerby-chan got up and as two heads licked Naruto and the central one growled at the green haired girl. "The one who insulted mistress can still be punished if you wish."

"No… leave him…well I suppose it is now her be," Nana smiled.

"I await your next summons," the middle head glanced at the girl before head butting the two other heads to get them to stop licking Naruto. "I look forward to meeting you again. Hopefully you will have taken my mistress as your mate by then Master," the dog bowed its heads to Naruto.

"Bye Cerby-chan," Nana pulled out her D-Dial and started pressing buttons.

"Cerby-chan was it?" Naruto wiped some of the saliva from his face. "Pleased to meet you."

The dog vanished in a flash of light and no sooner had it vanished than Naruto found the green haired girl hugging him.

"My hero!" She cheered.

"Er…" Naruto tried to pry the girl off him with little success. "I'm sorry but who are you?"

"Ah where are my manners?" The girl released Naruto and smiled happily. "I am Run Elise Jewelria!"

"Nice to meet you," Naruto greeted automatically. "Are you Ren's sister or something?"

"I suppose that's correct," Run nodded happily.

"Well…" Naruto smiled at her, "It's nice to meet you."

"I… I have loved you for a long time!" Run squealed before blushing. "Oh I don't believe I said that!"

"You have?" Naruto blinked. "Come to think of it you said I protected you from a ghost."

"That's right," Run nodded eagerly.

"Care to remind me when this happened?" Naruto laughed weakly. "I've taken a fair few blows to the head lately so my memory isn't what it used to be."

"Oh no!" Run looked upset. "Did you get hurt?"

"No," Naruto shook his head.

"I'll bet it was _that _Lala's fault!" Run glowered.

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"That is just like her! She never thinks about how her actions will impact on others!"

"Er…" Naruto glanced at Momo and Nana.

"But don't worry." Run smiled at him. "I'll keep you safe!"

"You will?"

"Yes." Run beamed at him. "Because I will marry you!"

"Say what?" Momo blinked.

"I am a princess too!" Run declared. "Lala isn't better than me!"

"Actually," Nana corrected, "Ane-ue is the princess of an empire that rules the entire galaxy. You're a princess/ prince of a small planet of little to no importance."

"Wow… when did you actually know anything useful that didn't involve animals," Momo blinked.

"Just because I'm not as smart as you or Ane-ue doesn't mean I'm stupid." Nana retorted.

"Well I suppose as his brides we need to be smart," Momo jerked her head at Naruto.

"So you can keep me entertained with intellectual conversation?" Naruto offered.

"Aw," Momo kissed Naruto's cheek. "More like because someone in this relationship needs to have intelligence and unfortunately all you are good at is fighting and being a decent person."

"So I'm stupid, an OK fighter and a good person?" Naruto sighed. "Are you trying to tear down my self-confidence or boost it?"

"Hey I'm an honest person," Momo smiled earning a strangled snorting noise from Nana who was trying to suppress her laughter. "**Is something funny nee-chan?" **

"No…" Nana paled slightly.

"How dare you!" Run exclaimed. "Naruto is to be my husband! How dare you kiss him?"

"Oh… you mean like this?" Momo kissed Naruto deeply and moaned into his mouth.

"S-Stop that!" Run blushed and pulled the two apart. "Only I can… Hey!" She turned to see Nana kissing Naruto (although they were only small pecks and after each one Nana blushed crimson). "I said only I can kiss him!" She tried to get to Naruto to kiss him but Nana and Momo blocked her path. "Hey!" She managed to get past the twins but Nana's hair tickled her nose. She lunged to kiss Naruto when… "ACHOO!"

"Hey guys are you down here?" Mio called out as she walked into the boy's area, followed by Yui who was deep in thought and Mikado who was carrying a backpack. "They are starting the special event announcement shortly and I could hear… OH YES!" Mio gave a thumbs up as she came across a surprised Naruto being kissed by a shocked looking Ren.

Naruto twitched as he pulled Ren away from his lips. "You… you are a dead man. As soon as I finish cleaning my lips with bleach… or maybe sulphuric acid… or both."

"That's my line!" Ren rubbed his mouth furiously. "What's the big idea?! Besides using both would be a neutralisation reaction. The acid and alkali would cancel each other out!"

"My big idea?" Naruto scowled. "You kissed me you bastard! And I knew that! I wouldn't use them at the same time jack ass!"

"Likely story!" Ren scoffed. "You are such a blonde delinquent!"

"That's less of an insult and more of a description," Naruto pointed out.

"I was using the colour blonde as an insult, not surprising you didn't get it seeing as you are a dumb blonde!"

"Oh… You are going to regret that." Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"Are you going to pound his ass all night?!" Mio declared with a torrent of blood spurting from her nose.

"What?" Naruto and Ren finally realised that they weren't alone.

"Uzumaki…" Yui scowled. "Is there no end to your depravity? Not content with having your way with young girls behind your girlfriends back, you now turn to assaulting men?!"

"I didn't do it!" Naruto pointed at Ren. "He kissed me!"

"Well that explains everything," Mikado sighed sadly. "The good ones are always gay."

"Listen to me damn it!" Naruto wailed.

* * *

"Welcome back," The principal smiled as the students gathered in the main hall. "It is time to announce the special event! As I am sure you have noticed, there is a pathway outside the hotel that leads into the forest. At the end of that path there is a shrine. On that shrine there is a chest that holds a reward. The first team to find that chest gets the prize. But it isn't that simple is it Takami-chan!" The principal dived towards the landlady who pulled out what looked like an AK-47 and unloaded an entire cartridge into the principal.

"As you can see my assistants and I are all armed with assault rifles that fire paint rounds." Tamaki ignored the twitching principal. "If we hit you and we judge you have taken enough damage… you lose. Your objective is to get to the shrine. By the way we also have paint grenades, paint missiles, paint Gatling guns…" She got a dreamy look in her eyes. "And your teachers will be helping us!"

"Hehehe…" Kushina grinned as she hoisted a Gatling gun over her shoulder. "This is going to be fun!" She glanced at Risa, Lala and Yui. '_I have to make sure that none of them get alone time with Naru-chan! Well… I suppose I could let Lala but the other two… not a chance in hell! If I have to hunt them down I will!' _

"My, my," Mikado shouldered the RPG. "This looks a little too realistic. This could be fun!"

"Put we aren't completely cruel," Takami's eyes didn't seem to match her words, "And we will issue each of you a basic paint handgun and have hidden more weapons in the forest! By the way, if you get paint on you're from another student then you lose as well, so feel free to try and stop each other! But keep in mind there will be consequences for getting hit. "

"Anyway," The principal got to her feet. Teams will consist of two people all selected at random! So..." The principal gestured to box with a hole in it. "Draw your numbers!"

"This is going to be interesting," Naruto grinned as he walked up to the box. "Number nine huh?"

Risa grinned. _'Just Naruto and I… all alone in the dark woods. I can't let this opportunity pass me by!' _Risa charged to the box and prayed that she would draw nine.

Yui crossed her fingers, _'If I can get Naruto alone then maybe I could show him that I am a better girlfriend than Lala could be. And then he might… love me too.' _Yui hugged herself before approaching the box filled with determination.

"This will be fun!" Lala laughed, "I hope I'm with you Naruto!" Lala walked to the box, without a care in the world.

"This looks like fun!" Momo smiled innocently at the principal. "Do you mind if my sister and I join in?"

"Of course you can join!" The Principal nodded from his curled up position on the floor. "Cute girls like you can do whatever you want!"

Momo and Nana smiled as they walked towards the box, both eager to get some alone time with their future husband.

"Hopefully I get paired with Lala," Ren grinned.

_"I would much prefer Naruto-kun," _Run added her thoughts in Ren's head.

"Well then, if we get draw Naruto I'll let you be in charge of our body. Otherwise I am."

_"Fine by me!" _

As everyone started to form their teams the principal managed to escape with a perverted grin.

"Luckily they didn't notice that my clothes were dissolving!" He giggled, "Mikado-sensei's special paint will make this event so much more fun!"


	12. Chapter 12: It's all fun and games

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: I recently updated chapters 1 and 2 with a few changes. If you don't re-read it you won't miss any major plot points. All I have done is changed a few of the character's backstories, namely Kushina and a few mentions of Kurama. I just had to change a few references to avoid having massive contradictions and will update the rest of the chapters at some point including sorting out any glaring grammar issues but first things first a new chapter! There is a little plot development in this chapter as the first day of the school trip draws to a close.

More and more people are asking about lemons. I have decided that there will be lemons that will be indicated by a line break and a warning (see below) so if you don't want to see them you can skip over them. There isn't one in this chapter but this is an advance warning for when they do start showing up.

_**LEMON WARNING  
**_

* * *

_Lemon Goes Here  
_

* * *

_**END OF LEMON**_

The poll of the RitoXHarunaXNaruto pairing has been going as expected.

HarunaXNarutoXRiko is the top choice but to be honest getting Rito to fall in love with Naruto and Naruto to accept those feelings would be hard, even when Rito is changed into a girl. I could do it that if Naruto didn't know Riko = Rito but that would still mean Rito would have to become suddenly interested in men so I wouldn't hold my breath on this.

HarunaXRito is the second favourite so will probably be the plan for the first part of the story. What happens in the second part is still being decided.

The Winning Entry to the Competition was: Djflemse and the girl he selected for the next date was Yui Kotegawa who doesn't really have much to do in this chapter but since she was selected she should have a fair bit of screen time coming up.

There is a little Omake at the end of this chapter which is kind of a To Love 'Ruto Alternate Universe where Kurama didn't abandon Naruto at birth and instead took her with him into space and how the story would have played out then.

The only other thing I can think of is I have been debating getting a new beta reader (as the one I have at the moment is, in her own words, a bit useless really.)

I think that is everything so on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't Own Naruto or To Love 'Ru

* * *

Chapter 12: It's all fun and games…

"So does anybody know what the prize is?" Naruto asked as he walked towards the exit of the hotel. The students had been ordered into two groups, boys and girls, before they formed into their teams.

"The principal only said that it was a prize that was worth winning." Rito laughed weakly as he picked up one of the paint handguns that had been left for them. "These things are really realistic."

"Yeah," Naruto frowned before picking up one of the weapons. "This is quite big… I thought handguns were supposed to be smaller than this."

"That's a desert eagle," Kenichi explained. "At least it looks like one," Kenichi picked up his weapon and ejected the cartridge and checked the ammo. "Yeah these are simulation rounds. Looks like you might get some light bruising from these weapons but they shouldn't kill anyone."

"I didn't think they would," Naruto remarked. "The principal's a pervert not a psycho. I don't know about that hotel manager though. She kind of freaks me out."

"She is definitely freaky." Kenichi grinned.

"How do you know so much about weapons?" Rito asked in an attempt to divert Kenichi from his fantasies.

"Everyone needs a hobby," Kenichi replied distantly.

"Who are you paired up with?" Rito asked.

"Me?" Kenichi reloaded the gun and glanced at Rito, "I've got that Risa girl."

"Ah," Rito nodded. "I've got Kotegawa-san."

"Oh gods," Naruto shivered. "Your clumsy nature is bound to get you killed by her."

"R-really?" Rito panicked.

"Oh definitely," Kenichi grinned.

The two boys laughed at Rito's discomfort until he looked like a deer in headlights looking at something behind the two boys.

"What are you… wow?" Naruto blinked as he saw what Rito saw. The girls had re-joined the boys and they were all dressed up in kimonos.

"How do I look?" Lala asked as she ran up to Naruto, followed by Risa, Mio and Haruna.

"Amazing," Naruto blinked. "You look really good Lala," He smiled at her. "All of you look amazing in kimonos. Right Rito?"

"Y-yeah," Rito struggled to look at Haruna, "You look r-really nice Sarenji-san."

"Hehehe," Lala hugged herself. "I'm glad you like it!"

"Really?" Risa blushed slightly, "It's more like the kind of my parents used to make me wear. I never used to like wearing them but suddenly they don't seem so bad."

"Thank you Yuuki-kun," Haruna bowed her head blushing slightly. "Thank you Uzumaki-san. We are on a team together are we not?"

"That's right," Naruto grinned. "Don't worry about anything! I'll get us both through this game no problem!"

"That sounds like a challenge!" A familiar voice declared.

"Oh gods," Naruto frowned. "Is he still here?"

"You wish that I was gone!" Ren declared as he joined the group.

"Yeah I wish your gender bending ass was out of here," Naruto glared at Ren.

"I get the feeling I missed something," Risa remarked glancing between Ren and Naruto.

"When I defeat you in this battle you will acknowledge my manliness!" Ren declared.

"I dare you to come after me," Naruto grinned evilly, "You said these bullets might cause some bruising?" He turned to face Kenichi.

"Yeah," Kenichi nodded.

"Is there any way I can upgrade that to a severe beating?"

"You could hit him with the gun," Kenichi suggested, "It is pretty heavy."

"Really?" Naruto struck Ren over the head with the gun.

"OUCH!" Ren clutched his head. "That hurt jackass!"

"Good," Naruto remarked.

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna tilted her head, "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"You are not usually so…" Haruna looked awkward, "Aggressive to someone who hasn't earned it."

"Trust me Sarenji-san," Naruto smiled at her, "He earned it."

"Ah…" Haruna smiled weakly, "Alright then."

"Ooh," Mio's nose started bleeding. "Maybe Ren had his way with Rito and Naruto's angry that he wasn't invited!"

"What reality do you live in?" Naruto remarked dryly. "Because it certainly isn't this one."

"Naruto-san!" Yui walked over to the group. "Please stop making so much noise."

"Ah Yui-chan," Naruto beamed at her. "Wow that kimono really looks good on you."

"Yeah," Kenichi agreed. "It really shows off your killer figure!"

"S-shameless!" Yui pointed at Kenichi.

"Well in Kenichi's defence," Naruto smiled at her, "You really do have a nice figure Yui-chan. Your boyfriend is a lucky guy."

"Y-yeah," Yui stared away sadly.

"Man you really are a player aren't you?" Risa laughed. "Hitting on someone else's girlfriend when your own girlfriend is stood next to you."

"Hahaha," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Yui-chan and I, we aren't like that."

"Yeah," Yui forced a smile on her face.

"Besides I have a girlfriend," Naruto wrapped an arm around Lala's waist.

"It doesn't matter if you do," Lala leaned her head on Naruto's shoulder. "You have plenty of love to share!"

"Deviluke-san!" Yui blushed. "You shouldn't be so shameless! Do you realise the effect your words have on people? They'll believe Naruto-san is some sort of… of gigolo!"

"He is?" Risa blinked. "How much do you charge?" She asked Naruto.

"Momioka!" Yui blushed.

"Depends on the customer." Naruto replied.

"Naruto!" Yui crossed her arms. "I expected better than that of you! To encourage her like that."

"It's a joke Yui-chan," Naruto sighed, "You need to lighten up sometimes you know? Maybe you should get your boyfriend to take you to watch a film or something."

"He… can't," Yui looked away. "He is out of the country."

"Oh," Naruto nodded. "I see. That sucks. Oh well I'll tell you what," Naruto smiled at her. "How about you and me go watch a film or something?"

"Like a date?" Yui blushed.

"Well not really," Naruto smiled. "Seeing as we both have ARGH!" Naruto clutched his foot and hopped around.

"Of course it will be like a date!" Lala smiled innocently. "Right Naruto!"

"Er… sure," Naruto smiled at Yui, "If that's what you want…"

"Did Lala just stamp on his foot?" Rito asked Haruna.

"R-really?" Yui blushed crimson. "Well I guess I have some spare time…"

"But what about your boy…for crying out loud Lala!" Naruto yelped in pain as Lala stamped on his other foot.

"Clumsy me!" Lala laughed as Yui wandered off as if in a daze.

"What's the idea?" Naruto scowled at Lala.

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "Can't you see how much she likes you?"

"Huh?" Naruto laughed, "Yui-chan and I aren't like that."

"You so totally are," Risa cut in.

"Kotegawa-san doesn't really get along with people other than Uzumaki-san," Haruna agreed.

"You do give the impression that you are a couple some times. Like that time I saw the two of you in the café," Rito rubbed the back of his head. "I thought you were on a date so I decided not to say hello to you."

"I can only imagine how much it must hurt her," Lala smiled softly. "She probably loves you as much as I do, maybe even more. She has known you longer. It must be hard loving someone who only sees you as a friend."

"Gargh," Naruto winced, his pained expression was mirrored by Haruna. "Low blow Lala."

"Maybe," Lala agreed. "But unlike you, we girls are more fragile in the matters of the heart. You have to be careful!"

"Right…" Naruto nodded.

"As expected of the Harem Queen," Kenichi nodded. "She ensures the Harem Lord doesn't stray from his destined path of polygamy!"

"She isn't Naruto's harem queen! She will be mine!" Ren declared "OW Damn it!" He yelled out in pain as he fell to the floor. One hand was clutching his head where Naruto had struck him with the gun and the other was clutching his foot where Lala had stamped on it.

"Sorry," Naruto and Lala said with matching lack of feeling.

"I think Naruto is corrupting Lala," Mio remarked.

"To think Yui's going to have a date with Naruto before me," Risa muttered under her breath as she watched Naruto limp away with Haruna as everyone got in their teams.

"Do you want a date with him as well?" Lala asked.

"What?" Risa jumped. "Well… I guess I wouldn't turn one down but…"

"Okay!" Lala beamed.

"Are you seriously setting other people up on dates with your boyfriend?"

"Of course," Lala smiled. "Wouldn't it be better if everyone was happy together?"

"You… you really are an alien aren't you," Risa shook her head with a smile. "What about when it comes to marriage?"

"Well," Lala stroked her chin. "I am the princess to an empire that rules most of the known galaxy so when Naruto and I get married he will become the heir to the empire." Lala smiled at Risa. "It is expected that the emperor have at least a few wives and countless concubines."

"Really?" Risa blinked. "And Naruto is okay with that?"

"Naruto doesn't have much of a say," Lala smiled impishly. "I don't know if he has realised it yet but me and my younger sister Momo have him wrapped around our fingers. Besides I think Naruto deserves all the love he can get," Lala smiled fondly as she looked at Naruto and Haruna trying to figure out how to reload the paint guns. "He has so much to give it is only fair he gets a lot back in return!"

Naruto glanced at Lala and Risa who were talking about something.

"Lala seems happy for you to date other people while you are dating her," Haruna smiled. "I suppose you are happy about that."

"Why?" Naruto glanced at Haruna.

"Isn't a harem what most boys want?" Haruna asked.

"I've never had any interest in that sort of thing," Naruto rubbed his cheek awkwardly.

"Yes… it is a shame that my dear Naru-chan is so pure. But he will be corrupted…" Kushina walked up to the group and put her fingers on her temples and stared intently at Naruto.

"Can I help you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just corrupting you psychically," Kushina's stare was unnerving. "Is it working?"

"Don't think so," Naruto remarked.

"Oh it will… eventually," Kushina laughed evilly.

"You know the most… interesting people," Haruna smiled weakly.

"That's one way to describe them," Naruto laughed.

* * *

Sat in a room surrounded by various screens that showed various areas throughout the hotel grounds, the principal grinned perversely as the game began.

The team with Lala and Ren on it quickly split up. Lala had wanted to find and fight alongside Naruto but Ren would get in her way so she quickly replaced herself with an artificial Lala-bot. Ren hadn't noticed the difference which solidified her feelings about Ren. All he saw was her appearance. Naruto wouldn't have been fooled by a robot for a second. Team Naruto had quickly headed deep into the forest to avoid the rest of the players.

The game had started as the principal had expected. Several cocky groups tried to take the direct route to the shrine and were quickly wiped out by the mines and traps that he and the other teachers had planted. This revealed to the students the nature of the game. Getting hit by the special paint dissolved your clothes and once your clothes were all gone you were out of the game. This revelation caused two things to happen almost instantly.

First the girls went into hiding which is fortunate as the second thing that happened is most of the boys realised that they could strip any girl they wanted to see naked. Even if you only had a few seconds to enjoy the sight as after losing all your clothes one of the maids from the hotel would appear beside you and cover you in a blanket that was apparently impervious to the special paint before guiding you back to the main hall where you would wait until the winner was finally decided. But for most of the hormonally driven boys that few seconds was enough for them to forget about the original objective and join forces in order to undress the girls. Both sides had little to no interest in whatever prize the principal was offering regardless of his declaration of the quality of the prize.

It had turned into a game of Dog and Cat and Mouse. The teachers and the male students were fighting each other whilst the boys also tried to find the girls in order to strip them of their clothes. There were a few exceptions. Namely our protagonist.

Naruto was currently crouched behind a tree and slowly breathing as he looked around for anyone nearby, not that he could see well in the low light. The sun was well on its way to setting and it was Naruto's hope that he could sneak to the shrine in the low level light. He assumed that when it got dark the principal would call off the game (as he wouldn't be able to see the naked girls) so he didn't have much time to work with. He glanced to the handgun he was it looked like a desert eagle he had no desire to see if it fired like one. As a natural brawler he had an inbuilt distrust of guns. While he had learnt to fight by being on the wrong end of a beating more than once, you didn't learn that way with guns. A gun fight would all come down to who had the best aim and the quickest trigger finger. Shaking his head as he holstered the handgun, he turned to face where his partner was hidden.

"We're clear," He whispered to his partner and gestured for her to follow him.

"Right," Haruna ran up to him. She was starting to dislike the kimono as she found herself getting caught on the twigs and brambles as they walked through the forest. "I'm just causing you more trouble aren't I?"

"Don't worry about it," Naruto shook his head, "I'm used to trouble, hell Lala causes me far more trouble than you and we are dating. Maybe I like trouble."

"That's not a good reason to date someone." Haruna shook her head.

"There's more to our relationship than that." Naruto chuckled.

"What made you decide to start dating Lala?"

"What made me start to like her you mean?" Naruto shrugged. "There isn't just a single thing. If you ask me something like that all I can say is that her being Lala is the reason I started to like her."

"I see…" Haruna stared off into the distance. "Why did you like me?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, "What brought this up?"

"Ah!" Haruna blushed. "Sorry I shouldn't have asked something so insensitive."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto smiled. "If you must know it's because you are beautiful and kind. You are also my oldest friend and I suppose the fact you are a girl meant that my feelings started to develop."

"Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if I had said yes?"

"I used to," Naruto replied honestly as he looked around for any signs of other students. "But now I have my hands full with… Lala's unique problems."

"Like her being an alien?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"Lala told us all."

"And why does that not surprise me," Naruto sighed.

"So it's true?" Haruna smiled.

"Yeah it's true," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry I didn't tell you."

"Sorry?" Haruna blinked.

"Well you are my closest friend after all," Naruto grinned at her. "I should have told you before the others."

"Others?"

"Well I technically have told Yui-chan about the aliens but she just assumes I'm lying." Naruto chuckled. "And Rito was there when there was that case with the alien assassin who wanted to marry Lala."

"Assassin?!" Haruna froze.

"Ah!" Naruto face palmed at his own stupidity. "Don't worry! He wasn't very good."

"You've had to fight an assassin?" Haruna blinked.

"Just the one," Naruto tried to reassure Haruna but with little success.

"Why are assassins after Lala?"

"She may possibly be the princess of the entire galaxy," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Really…" Haruna suddenly felt terribly insignificant compared to the pink haired alien. "And there are assassins trying to marry her?"

"It was just the one!" Naruto calmed Haruna. "And like I said he wasn't that good."

"Even if you do like Lala, is she really worth risking your life?" Haruna grabbed him by the arm. "Just… just let her go."

"Let her go?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Even if I wanted to that wouldn't happen."

"Why not?"

"Because Lala has decided she will marry me and no force on Earth will convince her otherwise." Naruto stared into space fondly. "And there is the tiny matter of her father threatening to destroy the Earth if I don't marry her."

"…It's not fair." Haruna whispered with tears in her eyes.

"Sarenji-san?" Naruto looked at her.

"You are a kind person who has already been through so much." She clenched her fists. "Why does life constantly torment you like this?"

"Thanks Sarenji-san," Naruto chuckled.

"Pardon?"

"Thanks for caring about me so much. I appreciate you looking out for me. God knows I don't really look after myself very well." Naruto grinned. "But maybe we should quieten down. I think I saw someone moving just ahead."

"Sorry Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled weakly. "If you didn't have to protect me you could have won this game easily."

"Don't sweat it. You look after my mental wellbeing and I protect your physical wellbeing. We're a team," Naruto smiled at her before returning to looking around. "I've lost that figure I saw. I guess the majority of the players have been eliminated from the game."

"Yes," Haruna adjusted her kimono. "Do you know how many people are left?"

"I haven't seen any in a while," Naruto shook his head. "Which could be a good thing or a bad thing."

"In what way?"

"Ever we have been avoiding other players," Naruto started. "Or there is someone out here picking players off."

"L-Like a monster?" Haruna's eyes widened.

"No!" Naruto grabbed her shoulder with a smile. "Just another player or maybe a teacher."

"Right…" Haruna seemed to calm down when suddenly there was a large crack of a twig snapping nearby. The two students froze.

Naruto cautiously looked around, feeling the roof of his mouth go dry and gripping the handgun tightly. He raised a finger to his lips and Haruna nodded. She was holding the gun uneasily and Naruto was worried that she might accidentally hit him should she panic and start firing. There was a rustle in the bushes and Haruna screamed before unloading the entire clip she had into the bush. A small (now multi-coloured) fox ran out and gave her a dirty look before continuing on its way.

"Sorry," Haruna looked at her feet.

"Don't worry about it," Naruto smiled weakly. "I just hope that you didn't…"

Whatever Naruto was going to say was cut off as he suddenly dived and knocked Haruna to the floor as the tree next to them exploded in paint splashes.

"… Attract the attention of other players," Naruto finished with a sigh, "Stay here and stay quiet. I'll be back for you."

"Okay," Haruna blinked as Naruto gave her his handgun.

"Here," Naruto chuckled, "You need it more than me at this point."

"But if you don't have a gun…" Haruna started.

"I have a plan," Naruto winked as he took her empty gun before disappearing into the bushes.

A short distance away from the hidden Haruna, Rito and Kenichi looked around. Rito had managed to find a shotgun model (a SPAS if Kenichi was to be trusted) which was fortunate for Rito as despite being good a festival shooting games he couldn't hit a target worth a damn with these paint guns. Kenichi had found what looked like an AK-47.

"Can you see what made that noise?" Kenichi asked.

"Maybe it was an animal?" Rito suggested.

"It sounded like someone emptying a clip," Kenichi scowled. "I have a bad feeling we are walking into a trap."

"Funny you should say that," Naruto remarked as he grabbed Rito from behind and pointed his gun at Kenichi. "So you two are working together. Weren't you on Yui's team Rito?"

"She ran off at the start of the game with most of the girls," Rito remarked with a sigh. "So is this where you shoot us naked?"

"I was thinking about it but I decided I'll be kind. If you'd just lay down your weapons you can leave." Naruto smiled at Kenichi over Rito's shoulder. "We are friends after all."

"Then shouldn't you challenge us to an honourable duel then?" Kenichi offered.

"It is a man's duty to do what is necessary to protect his precious people," Naruto shook his head. "Whilst usually I would just defeat you honourably, I can't risk a stray shot hitting my partner."

"Haruna-chan naked?" Rito went crimson and fainted in Naruto's arms dropping his gun. What happened next took only a few seconds but for the two people involved it seemed to last at least an hour.

The shotgun fell in slow motion as Naruto pushed the unconscious Rito towards Kenichi who fired desperately at the blonde who had dived to the floor, grabbing the shotgun as he fell. The shots hit Rito causing his shirt to melt and knocking him out of the way of Naruto. There was a loud click as Kenichi aimed at Naruto followed by a larger bang as Naruto pulled the trigger of the shotgun completely covering Kenichi in the paint.

"Tch," Kenichi sagged against a tree. "I should have known challenging you was foolish master, did you know that I was low on ammo?"

"I won't pretend that I did," Naruto rested the shotgun on his shoulder as he climbed back to his feet, "But sometimes you've just got to throw the dice and pray that lady luck is smiling on you."

"Such sagely advice," Kenichi declared as he tried his best to cover himself.

As if by magic, a hotel maid appeared and covered Kenichi with a cloak and guided him away.

"It's only that size because it's cold!" Kenichi's voice sounded out causing Naruto to snort with laughter until he heard a bang and a familiar scream that caused Rito to wake up and glance at Naruto in horror.

"Haruna!" Naruto and Rito raced towards the sound, game forgotten.

The two boys crashed through the undergrowth to see a naked Haruna clutching her body.

"My, my," A brown haired boy wearing a perverted grin was giving her a thumbs up. He wore a hood that hid most of head. "Nice! You Earth girls have nice bodies. Do you want to join my harem? I treat my girl's right." He winked lecherously.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto charged between the boy and Haruna as the maids appeared to cover her up and escort her away.

"You bastard," Rito clenched his fists. "Exposing Haruna like that!"

"Meh," The boy rubbed strange red markings on his face. "This place is turning into a total sausage fest. Oh well, I don't suppose either of you know where my wife is?"

"Your wife?" Naruto blinked. "I don't even know who you are!"

"Oh sorry," the boy rolled his eyes. "I forgot I am dealing with lower lifeforms who have yet to traverse the stars. Otherwise you would have surely heard of my legendary status. I am the Prince of the planet Inu IV!"

"… You are from a planet called dog four?" Naruto blinked. "Wait… are you one of the assassins?"

"That's right!" The man grinned. "I am Kiba Inuzuka! Bask in my presence!"

"I wonder how many people are left in the game." Naruto completely ignored Kiba causing him to face fault.

"Pay attention to me damn it!" Kiba yelled. "I'm a prince and I am looking for Lala Inuzuka!"

"Who?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "The only Lala I know is called Lala Deviluke."

"When she carries my pups then she shall carry my name," Kiba declared.

"When she…" Naruto scowled. "I am going to start hitting you know. I don't know when I'll stop."

"Hah! As if a lowly human like you could…" Naruto interrupted Kiba by punching him in the jaw so hard that he flew back through the forest and unearthed a few trees.

"Er…" Rito blinked. "You've got this right?"

"Right." Naruto cracked his knuckles as his aura responded to his call. The two orbs starting orbiting him slowly casting a pale light around the surroundings.

"Right then," Rito started to walk away. "Er… Can I have my gun back?"

"Here," Naruto tossed the shotgun at Rito before walking along the crater that Kiba had left.

"OW!" Kiba pulled himself out of the small crater and glared at Naruto. "That hurt! Humans aren't supposed to be that strong! Who the hell are you?"

"I am Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto grinned evilly. "Lala's boyfriend." He reached out a grabbed one of the orbs turning it into a light blade. "And it is clear to me that you are a dog that needs neutering. Don't worry… It will be painless." He swung the blade around. "Well for me at least."

* * *

Roughly half a mile from where Naruto was preparing to teach Kiba a lesson or two, the girls had set up a sort of camp. It was a well organised defence in which the twelve remaining girls felt relatively safe. After all if there is one thing that can get a group of people to co-operate it is a mutual foe. Currently there were two groups of four girls stationed around a central rest area where the rest of the girls were sat recovering and talking quietly.

In one of the guard groups, Yui Kotegawa was peering into the distance through a sniper scope. She had been fortunate to stumble onto a cache of weapons as she fled from Rito, who she had heard to be a sexual deviant of the highest degree. As soon as the nature of this game became clear she had fled from the pervert and ran into Lala, Risa and Mio. The girls joined forces and ultimately met up with more girls and as a result the female half of the class was practically an army and had secured most of the weapons that were lying around. Of course they had taken casualties in the initial charge and also the occasionally opportunistic male managed to get one of them before being rapidly eliminated himself but that still meant out of the two classes that were invited on this trip there were 12 girls remaining out of thirty. There were at least double that number of boys.

"How much longer will this game last?" Yui scowled as she peered out into the fading light. She had quickly gathered the girls and explained the situation, knowing only too well how the boys would react to the game. They were all shameless beasts._ 'Except maybe Naruto,' _Yui mentally amended. Of all the boys she knew (which unfortunately consisted of Naruto, her father, her brother and the trouble makers at school who she regularly had to deal with) Naruto was the most… acceptable. She put her hand on her heart as the familiar warm feeling that she got when she thought of Naruto washed over her. She struggled to recall what her life was like before he had saved her from those bullies so many years ago. She figured it was boring and empty but then Naruto had come tearing through her life like a hurricane and swept her along with it. Ever since that day she had been hounding him to behave more like a model citizen and from the very beginning he had treated her to a cheeky grin and a simple "Don't worry 'bout it Yui-chan!" that had led to her lecturing him on the most appropriate way to address someone else. It was the only way she could think of that let her spend time with him. At the time she hadn't even realised why she was doing it. She had convinced herself that it was just because she was returning the favour. After all he had helped her out so it was only fair that she helped him out by getting his life on track but recently she had realised that if that were the case it wouldn't hurt her so much seeing him with other girls or when he thought she had a boyfriend. But still… he had asked to take her on a date right? That had to count for something. Even if Lala had prompted some of his responses the initial offer did come from Naruto without any hints from Lala.

"Who knows? Isn't it fun?" A cheerful Lala proclaimed as she started pointing the RPG that she had found at random trees and made firing noises.

"Yeah it's like a survival exercise," Risa agreed. "We may have to burn our bras to light a fire to keep us warm."

"Or share our body warmth by hugging naked," Mio suggested earning funny looks from everyone. "What?"

"How can you be so relaxed knowing that boys are out there and trying to strip us naked?" Yui shivered.

"I don't see why everyone is so hung up on clothing." Lala pouted. "It gets in the way more times than not!"

"How shameless!" Yui chastised her. "Do you have no decency?"

"Muu…" Lala pouted.

"Give her a break Kotegawa," Risa sighed as she joined the two girls with what looked like a grenade launcher. "Lala-chi isn't from Earth remember? Maybe on her home planet they all walk around naked? Did you ever think you were being insensitive to her culture?"

"I don't believe a word of that story," Yui shook her head.

"But it's true!" Lala looked upset.

"And even if it is," Yui looked down her scope at a suspiciously rustling bush. "That is no excuse for such shameless behaviour."

"You don't like me do you?" Lala whispered sadly.

"It's not that I don't like you," Yui fidgeted guiltily. Lala was like a puppy and whenever you made her sad you couldn't help but try and cheer her up, "It's just…" She sighed. "Complicated."

"What Yui's trying to say is that she likes Naruto and she can't like you because you are going out with him," Risa translated.

"That's not true!" Yui blushed crimson.

"What's not true? That you like Naruto or that you don't like Lala because she is dating him?" Risa asked. "Kind of strange to say you'll go on a date with someone who you don't like especially when you have a boyfriend."

"It's not that simple…" Yui muttered. "Naruto is very important to me. I just don't want to see him get turned into some sort of common thug!"

"And how does this link in to you not liking Lala?"

"Like I said it isn't that I don't like her it's just… wait!" Yui pulled the trigger on her sniper rifle as she saw a student crawl from the bush she had been watching.

"ARGH!" A boy fell out of the bushes, his clothes dissolving away. "They've spotted us!"

"Then to hell with stealth!" A fierce roar sounded.

"The boys are here," Yui turned to Mio, "Quick! Go warn the others!"

"Right!" Mio nodded and turned to run towards the rest of the girls.

"Damn it," Risa scowled as she dropped to the ground and started firing at the swarm of male students that were gathering in the forest.

"Haha!" Motemitsu pointed his rifle at the girls. "It is time to claim the prize we desire! The naked flesh of the girls!" He fired at the girls, managing to hit Lala's thigh causing her kimono to start to dissolve until she tore the bottom off to stop the contamination spreading and eliminating her from the game.

"This is fun!" Lala fired her RPG, sending a naked Motemitsu hurtling through the air with swirls for eyes, along with a good number of the boys.

"As expected of Motemitsu," there was a general shaking of heads amongst the boys. "A premature single shot kind of guy."

By now the girls had all been roused and took up firing positions as the boys found what little shelter they could and returned fire. There was paint balls flying everywhere as the male horde bore down on them. There was one thing that the girls had failed to take into account in their defensive plans and that was that in the pursuit of girls, the boys were unafraid to use their fallen comrades as shields and were slowly advancing on them. The fighting was furious as both sides were unwilling to back down. After what seemed like hours but was only about ten minutes, the firing started to peter off as the ammo reserves of both sides started to dwindle.

"I'm out of ammo," Lala pouted as her handgun clicked noisily.

Risa launched a paint grenade at a group that were getting too close to the girl's lines. "Me too," Risa threw aside the grenade launcher. "How many are left?"

"Not many," Yui squeezed the trigger and smiled as she saw a boy who had been drooling at a semi-naked girl in front of him suddenly drop to the floor clutching his crotch. "I can count three."

"Grenade!" Lala warned as one of the paint grenades landed in between the three girls causing them to scatter in three separate directions.

"It's playtime!" Kushina laughed menacingly as she turned her Gatling gun on the few surviving boys stripping them down in an instant before firing at the remaining girls.

"Split up!" Risa called to the others. "If we can get to that prize we can end this stupid game!"

"Right!" Lala and Yui nodded and the three girls went their separate ways.

"Should we go after them?" Kushina turned to face the busty nurse who had thrown the grenade.

"Well there are three of them but only two of us. Which one do you want?"

"Hmm…" Kushina grinned evilly. "I still haven't forgiven that Risa for groping me."

"Then I'll go after Lala," Mikado smiled. "After all she is the most dangerous of the three."

"And the other girl?"

"Yui Kotegawa?" Mikado shrugged. "She'll probably get picked off by any surviving boys who avoided our attack."

"I just wish I could have found Naruto," Kushina drooled slightly.

_Kushina's Imagination _

"There's nowhere to run now," Kushina purred as she advanced on Naruto who was on his back and trying to crawl backwards.

"I had hoped that I would be hunting you but this works too." Naruto stopped crawling as he reversed into a tree.

"Now where should I shoot first?" She fired into his chest and grinned as his six pack as revealed. "Kushina likes." She whispered. "Now for those trousers…"

"There's no need to waste your ammo," Naruto smiled at her. "For you I am more than willing to shed these clothes."

"Naruto…" Kushina grinned as he stripped for her. "Very nice… now let me show you something." She started to do a little strip tease and watched as Naruto Junior awoke before her. "That looks painful. Maybe I could do something to… ease your discomfort." She took her breasts and enveloped Naruto's not so little friend in them before giving him a 'special massage'.

"Please…" Naruto moaned. "Don't stop. I'm…"

_End Kushina's Imagination_

"Coming?"

"Huh?" Kushina blinked and stared at Mikado.

"I asked if you were coming or if you were just going to stare into space all day," Mikado crossed her arms.

"Oh right," Kushina laughed awkwardly. "Yeah." She sighed. "But I hope I run into Naru-chan soon. Kushina needs her Naru-Naru love battery charging!"

* * *

"Can't we talk about this?" Kiba dodged a slash that caused the tree behind him to fall into two neat halves. He had been running from Naruto for a good five minutes as Naruto wrecked the forest.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't neuter you," Naruto scowled as the energy blade disappeared. _'So one of those energy blades lasts for about five minutes. Given that the orb I use vanishes after I use it that means I can use the blade for ten minutes but that will cost me all of the orbs. They seem to regenerate but far too slowly for me to be able to wait for them in a combat situation.' _

"You see," Kiba held up his hands. "I come from Inu IV. My home planet is torn by war. We call it the never ending war because…"

"It never ends?" Naruto suggested.

"Well... Yeah," Kiba nodded. "From the age of three my people are trained to fight for their clan, to die for their clan. My home planet has around twenty clans who are always at war with each other. The average life expectancy is sixteen year on my planet which basically means I am at the end of my life! There are rumours in our past that this wasn't always the case, that there was once an emperor who united our people, who ended the war and in his rule we prospered. Then he was betrayed by his brother and our people splintered and the war continued. We had a whole decade without fighting." Kiba's eyes were glistening.

"Get to the part where you explain why I shouldn't kill you," Naruto crossed his arms.

"Right!" Kiba smirked, "Well you see I am a prince of my clan. When I was born it was foretold that I would lead my clan and unite my planet."

"Okay," Naruto tilted his head, "Foretold as in it was prophesised?"

"Yes. So I have spent my life planning to unite my people. Become the best leader, the best fighter and the best lover that my planet has ever seen!

"Lover?" Naruto frowned.

"Anyway," Kiba quickly changed the subject, "I was starting to lose faith as all my attempts to unite the clans met with little success when one day I get an official letter from the Emperor of Deviluke himself!"

"Gid," Naruto sighed.

"That's the one. He said that he would provide me with the soldiers I required to unite my people if I could kill the Harem Lord!"

"The Harem Lord?" Naruto blinked. "Oh please tell me Kankuro's nickname for me didn't stick."

"It did," Kiba nodded sagely, "So anyway that's my story."

"So the reason I shouldn't kill you is…" Naruto prompted.

"I am the last hope for my planet!" Kiba declared.

"Okay so I should let you kill me?"

"That's right."

"Now you see, we have a problem there," Naruto shook his head. "You see if I die, Gid will destroy this entire planet."

"Oh no!" Kiba blinked. "But all the hot women will die!"

"Yes," Naruto rolled his eyes. "So you can imagine why I have no intention of letting you kill me."

"Can't you just give up on Lala?" Kiba asked.

"No," Naruto shook his head. "Lala is the woman I love. And Gid will still destroy this planet if I just 'give up' on her."

"I see," Kiba frowned. "So we are at an impasse then?"

"I have a couple of questions for you," Naruto smiled. "If Gid's men united your planet that would be his victory. Did he say he would let you rule after his men had united the planet?"

"Well… not exactly," Kiba muttered.

"And would your people view you as the rightful ruler?"

"Well…" Kiba looked at the floor. "They might not take it well that a foreign power invaded their home regardless of the fact one of their own was commanding them."

"So what you are saying is, you would doom my planet in the hopes that Gid is in a charitable mood and lets you rule over a planet that would hate your guts? The same Gid who would destroy my planet should I fail to protect Lala?"

"When you put it like that," Kiba scowled. "It does sound like a pretty long shot."

"Yeah, I have a counter offer." Naruto smiled.

"Oh?"

"I will become emperor," Naruto stated, "There are too many people counting on me for failure to be an option. Two planet's worth of souls at a rough estimate. When I do become emperor and I kick Gid's sorry ass from her to kingdom come I will force him to serve in your army."

"The Gid Lucione Deviluke?" Kiba blinked. "As a soldier in my army?"

"That's right," Naruto smirked. "And he would have to follow your orders. You would unite your people just by showing them that you have the power to force Gid to serve you."

"That's quite the offer but how do I know that you can become emperor?" Kiba challenged.

"Well I wasn't having much difficulty dealing with you," Naruto pointed out.

"I don't have my partner with me. I would be much harder for you to fight if that wasn't the case."

"Nobody likes a sore loser," Naruto remarked. "Tell you what, I'll let you go and get your partner then fight you again. Then when I've kicked your ass again we'll have this exact same conversation but this time you'll have no choice but admit that I am stronger than you."

"Like hell I will!" Kiba declared. "I'll claim I am ill or that I can't fight at my full strength on Earth!"

"You just gave away your excuses," Naruto pointed out.

"Damn it!" Kiba glanced away and clenched his fists. "These humans are smarter than I thought…"

"Actually you are just really stupid," Naruto remarked dryly.

"I know I am but what are you?" Kiba retorted. "Wait that didn't come out right."

"I can literally feel my brain cells dying as we are speaking," Naruto sighed. "So just run off with your tail between your legs and fight me at full power later."

"What have you to gain from that?" Kiba paused.

"If I am to kick Gid's ass and I fully intend to for all the crap he put his daughters through," Naruto scowled at the reminder. "I need to fight strong opponents to get stronger. Lala's Danger Room helps me refine the powers I already have but without the desperate fight for life that you have in a real fight I can't seem to learn more abilities. Maybe you and your partner together can help draw out some more power from me."

"I see," Kiba clenched his fists and started vibrating. "Fighting strong foes in order to become stronger yourself… how Shounen Jump like!"

"Er sure," Naruto shrugged, "So are you going to run away and challenge me again later?"

"I've not been defeated just yet!" Kiba declared.

"Really?" Naruto grabbed his last remaining orb. "Lala made me promise I'd yell out the attack name she chose when I use this so… Love Beam Attack!" He placed his palm towards Kiba and launched an energy beam much like the one that destroyed half of Kankuro's robot. The attack screamed past Kiba's ears and tore through a great deal of the forest. "I think I died a bit inside. Seriously."

Fortunately Kiba was too busy not wetting himself to pay attention to the stupid name of the attack that nearly killed him. "A human is not supposed to command this kind of power!"

"Don't underestimate humanity," Naruto grinned.

"Don't think you've won! I will return and kick your ass!" Kiba challenged.

"I guess I'll have to use my finisher attack," Naruto took up a weird pose. "Ultimate…"

"I'll be back!" Kiba yelled as he ran away.

"Tch," Naruto dropped his stance. "Though on that note I really should have some sort of finishing attack. And this time Lala doesn't get to name it." His instincts told him to jump backwards just as a barrage of paint struck where he had been stood.

"I should have known it wouldn't be that easy," Momo sauntered out from behind some bushes reloading a double barrelled shotgun

"I told you it wouldn't work," Nana sighed as she walked out of her hiding place carrying two of the handgun paint guns.

"How long have you been there?" Naruto asked.

"Oh not that long," Momo grinned. "We best be careful Nana, he might use his super Love beam attack!"

"Oh gods," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "That was Lala's name!"

"Then why did you use it?"

"It was both she got to name one of my attacks or the name our first child and I'll be damned if my first child is called Megalodon." Naruto remarked.

"Already talking about children?" Momo rested her gun on her shoulder. "Does that mean you've already done the deed?"

"No," Naruto looked away awkwardly

"Well I think I've been patient enough with Onee-sama and you," Momo aimed the gun. "How about this, if I manage to defeat you then you'll have sex with me now. Right here in the forest."

"Nee-san!" Nana blinked. "Ane-ue won't be happy if you do that! You know she wants all of Naruto's firsts!"

"Yes but she is willing to wait for Naruto to make the first move. I want to have sex before I am an old woman." Momo pointed the gun at Naruto. "Besides she has forgiven me before. She'll forgive me again."

"That was for ruining her dresses or her toys. Naruto is far more important to Ane-ue that those were!" Nana countered.

"Listen," Naruto started towards Momo who pulled the trigger causing Naruto to dive to the side, catching some of the spread shot on his chest.

"No," Momo shook her head. "You think you can do what you did to me earlier and leave me hanging? Lala might have the patience of a saint but I don't. I'm not a lord I am a berserker. Do you know how much self-control it takes being around you and not raping you senseless?"

"Okay I get it, you're frustrated." Naruto clambered to his feet as his shirt completely melted away. "But don't you think this is going too far?"

"Frustrated?" Momo laughed, "Do you know something? While papa may have not been the best father he always made sure that we had what we wanted. Sure we had to deal with suitors but the worst of them are filtered out by Papa."

"And?" Naruto raised his eyebrow, a little shocked that Gid apparently did care somewhat for his daughters but otherwise not seeing the point of this conversation.

"He gave me this," Momo pulled a very small gun out of her bra. "This is a weapon that is illegal in every corner of our galaxy. Do you know what it does?"

"Kill a planet?" Naruto asked.

"No… it is far more deadly," Momo smiled sadly. "If I were to program this gun with my DNA and shoot you, you would become my slave until I released you. Papa gave one of these to all three of us so that should we end up with a suitor we didn't like we could control him. I could use this to have my way with you but do you know something?" Momo rubbed a tear from her face. "I don't want to use this. I want you to want me the way I want you."

"Momo…" Naruto started towards her to hug her but froze as she raised the paint shotgun again.

"You were going to hug me right?" Momo shook her head. "Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"Every time you touch me, every time I catch your scent all I want to do is be ravished by you." Momo looked at Naruto sadly. "The worst torture for me is being able to see you, smell and even taste you but not be able to have you."

"But he is our husband," Nana corrected her.

"Only after Onee-sama has had her fun," Momo cut him off. "Until then you are a 'forbidden' fruit. So agree to my game."

"What?"

"Agree to my game," Momo repeated. "Please. Last one standing gets to have their way with you. Give me a chance to release this pent up lust. Even if I don't win I want to know that you aren't against the idea of making love to me. Give me at least a chance to beat Onee-sama for once. She was always the perfect child whereas we were the flawed ones."

"Alright," Naruto sighed. "I can't stand against a sad girl. Last person standing wins. If I lose I promise that I will follow the order of the winner, regardless of what order that is." He pulled out the handgun. "But I'm not going to make it easy."

"Great," Momo smirked as she took aim and fired at Naruto who dodged the shot. Momo opened her mouth to gloat before ducking under a shot herself. "What are you doing Nana?"

"Well I'm part of this game too right?" Nana smirked as she pointed her guns at Momo.

"**Stay out of this," **Momo growled as she retreated from the barrage of gun fire from Nana. What she lacked in accuracy she more than made up for in enthusiasm. Momo managed to hide behind a tree as she reloaded, scowling as most of her dress dissolved.

"Why do only you get to beat Ane-ue at something?" Nana declared. "Boo hoo you are a sealed berserker. At least you have a mature body! I will _always_ look like this! I will never grow breasts, I will never have a sexy figure… If anyone needs proof that Naruto can look past their flaws it is me!"

"Wait so you want to have your way with Naruto before Onee-sama."

"Well…" Suddenly Nana looked embarrassed. "I mean… I just want him to… spend some time with me…" She glared at Naruto, "Not like that you perverted beast."

"I didn't say anything," Naruto sighed.

"So I guess that means the last devilukian sister standing wins," Momo smirked. "Right Naruto?"

"Yeah, looks that way," Naruto chuckled.

"Of course you'd agree to that!" Nana pointed at Naruto, "I know what you were think-argh!" Nana cried as her clothes dissolved.

"You lowered your guard," Momo grinned evilly as Nana tried to cover herself.

"Why aren't those maids appearing?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"Because you aren't naked yet," Momo pointed out, "You are still have your underwear on."

"What perverted monster thought up this game?!" Nana wailed.

* * *

The Principal smiled as he watched the chaos on his screens. Currently Lala and Mikado were engaged in a fierce duel that would have worried the principal if he wasn't aware of a few details such as Lala and Mikado being aliens. The principal had known about Mikado when he hired her and as for Lala he had overheard Lala and the girls talking when he had been trying to sneak into the girl's baths to peek. Unfortunately (or fortunately for the girls) Takumi had been waiting for any perverts with a squad of her elite ninja-maids and the principal had been tied up and thrown in a chest until the girls had finished bathing. His only response to this was to cry "This is good too!"

Risa had been hunted down by Kushina but Kushina refused to finish her as a form of revenge for groping her back when Kushina taught her first lesson. In fact Kushina had left Risa wearing only a bra so the maids wouldn't save her but this came back to bite her when Risa found a paint grenade and used it to eliminate Kushina in a suicide attack. The two had been escorted back by separate maids as Kushina had charged into the woods after Naruto and had to be chased down by another maid.

"Kushi-chan has a nice body," The principal giggled slightly. "Naruto-dono has great taste!"

Speaking of which the blonde haired hero was apparently in a three way battle with the two cute twins that had asked to join his game. One of the girls was clad only in her panties and Naruto was down to his trousers. The other girl was wearing only a bra.

"Oh it looks like Mikado-chan lost," The principal smiled as the busty nurse covered herself as two maids descended on her with a blanket. Lala was doing a victory dance, despite the fact she was basically clad in her bras and panties before looking off into the distance at something that caught her attention and racing towards it.

The principal saluted the screen. "God Speed Naruto-dono!"

* * *

"Can't we talk about this?" Naruto yelled as the tree he was using as cover vibrated as another barrage of gun fire struck it. He had completely forgotten that he had swapped weapons with Haruna and was now carrying an empty gun. Fortunately Nana was keeping Momo occupied but that wouldn't last long. Nana was a terrible shot and her weapons required some accuracy whereas all Momo had to do was aim in her general direction and the buckshot paint shell would do the rest.

"No!" Nana screamed as the inevitable happened and a shotgun blast finally removed the last of her clothes and she was escorted away.

"Do you want to know something funny," Momo remarked.

"What's that?" Naruto called from behind his tree.

"That was my last shot and I know for a fact that you have no ammo." Momo threw her shotgun to the floor and held her hands up.

"Then what happens now?" Naruto walked out from behind his tree.

"I really was trying to win you know," Momo smiled as she walked up to Naruto. Most of her clothes were dissolved. She only wore a bra and Naruto idly noted that the carpet matched the drapes before he mentally berated himself for letting his gaze wonder. "I appreciate you looking." Momo smiled softly seeing his glance. "It makes me feel good knowing you like looking at my body. Do you want a closer look?"

"Gah," Naruto stepped backwards.

"You know all you have to do is ask," Momo sauntered towards him. "And I'd do _anything _for you."

"Anything?" Naruto blinked.

"Anything," Momo repeated as she wrapped her arms around Naruto. "I know you want to have sex with us but you are scared you'll lose control. But if there's one thing I know about you is that you'll keep a promise."

"Well it is one of my defining characteristics," Naruto agreed.

"Sorry about this," Momo snuggled into his chest.

"Sorry about what?" Naruto blinked as everything went into slow motion as his danger instincts kicked in. He saw what looked like a missile heading for his feet. "Oh… clever girl," Naruto muttered as the paint missile struck the floor resulting in a naked Momo and Naruto.

"Hehehe!" Lala stuck her tongue out as she shouldered her rocket launcher "I got you!"

"Yeah," Naruto laughed.

"Hey Onee-sama," Momo pulled herself away from Naruto as two maids landed to cover Naruto and Momo in sheets. "Congratulations you've won a request from Naruto. Anything you want from him he will give you."

"Anything?" Lala looked thoughtful.

"Anything," Naruto agreed with a sigh.

"Okay," Lala beamed. "I'll let you know when I think of something! But first I have to win this game!"

"Right," Naruto shook his head with a smile as he and Momo were made their way back to the hotel, their maid escort pointing the way then vanishing. "Was that your plan?"

"Part of it," Momo stuck her tongue out. "Now I just need to convince Lala that you are willing to have sex with her so she'll give you that order and then…" Momo wiped some drool from her mouth. "The fun begins." She giggled perversely.

"Was Nana in on this plan with you?" Naruto asked.

"Of course," Momo smiled. "While she isn't able to admit it… she wants to have some time with you as well."

"Was all that an act then or is it really that hard to be around me?" Naruto asked.

"You have no idea," Momo shivered. "But I am willing to wait. Nana and Lala can go first." She smiled fondly at Naruto. "Lala might want your firsts and Nana would prefer to give you her virginity while you are still learning your way around women but I want our first time to be truly mind blowing. If that means waiting for you to get used to sex before we finally cement our relationship," Momo sighed happily. "I am willing to wait for you to reach the skill I want for my first time."

"Really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Really." Momo smiled. "For me pleasure is the ultimate form of love. You show that you care by making the other person feel good. That's why sex is so important to me and after we've had sex you'll come back to shower me with your love time and time again. I guarantee it." She glanced at something in the bushes and smiled. "Don't you want to have sex with Lala?"

"Of course I do," Naruto smiled. "But I don't want to force her. I… don't want to lose control to my lust and accidentally hurt her."

"I see," Momo grinned. "Trust me, you could do all sort of kinky things to a devilukian and it wouldn't harm us."

"Ecchi," A monotone voice remarked. "I hate ecchi."

"That voice?" Naruto span around. "The Golden Darkness!"

The small blonde assassin stepped out from behind a tree. She briefly glanced at Momo before fixing her attention on Naruto.

"I have finished my research," The assassin remarked dryly, "You," She pointed at Naruto, "Are not Ecchi."

"Thanks," Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"You," The small blonde girl pointed at Momo, "Are very ecchi."

"I could have told you that Golden… actually that's a mouthful," Naruto crossed his arms. "You shall now be known as Yami-chan."

"Yami-chan?" There was no emotional response from the blonde assassin.

"It fits I guess," Momo tilted her head. "But why are you here?" She took up a combat pose, "If you think you are going to kill Naruto you will be greatly disappointed."

"I was hired under false pretences," Yami stated. "I was merely reporting that my contract has been terminated due to this."

"So you are leaving then?" Momo beamed.

"No," Yami fixed Naruto with a blank stare. "I will monitor you. If it turns out that you are ecchi…" Her hair turned into a blade, "The contract becomes valid and I will terminate you."

"So you are going to be following me then?" Naruto grinned. "If that's the case…" He ruffled her hair, "You said you were always alone right?"

"That is correct," Yami nodded.

"Well not anymore!" Naruto declared. "Just call me Naruto Onii-chan because I will be there for you!"

"Pardon?" Yami frowned.

"Well with the blonde hair you kind of look like my little sister," Naruto admitted embarrassed. "And I did always want a little sister. This kills two birds with one stone. I get the little sister I always wanted and you get to experience the warmth of having a family."

"The warmth of a family," Yami stared blankly at Naruto. "I do not understand."

"You will little sister," Naruto nodded sagely, "You will."

"Hmm…" Yami paused. "This will provide me with more opportunities to research and kill you if required."

"I guess. You'll be living with me." Naruto nodded.

"I accept," Yami nodded and with the same completely blank expression. "Naruto Onii-sama."

_Naruto's Imagination_

Yami was surrounded by a light pink aura and wearing a school swimsuit.

"Yami-chan loves her onii-sama very much!" She smiled innocently whilst hugging a Naruto doll.

_End Naruto's Imagination_

"Gargh!" Naruto coughed up blood. "It's finally happened. Kushina's corruption has spread to me…"

[Naruto Has Gained a New Fetish: Siscon!]  
[Naruto Has Gained a New Fetish: Lolicon!]

"What the hell was that?" Naruto blinked. "And I'm not a lolicon!"

"What?" Momo blinked.

"Didn't you see that blue pop up box?" Naruto blinked.

"You've been playing too many JRPGs and not enough Eroge games!" Momo declared.

"Ecchi," Yami stated bluntly.

"Join me on the Ecchi side," Momo cackled madly. "You know it is your destiny Naruto!"

"I'm watching you," Yami stated whilst staring at Naruto.

_Naruto's Imagination _

Yami had the pink aura again but was cosplaying as a police woman. She blew a whistle and waved a toy truncheon.

"No!" Yami pouted cutely, "Onii-sama can't be a pervert! Yami-chan will protect Onii-sama's morals!"

Suddenly Yami was wearing a pink dressing gown, "But if it's onii-sama and me then… I don't mind…"

_End Naruto's Imagination _

"GARGH!" Naruto fell to his knees. "I blame… Kushina!" He gasped out before hitting the floor unconscious with blood trailing out of his mouth and nose.

"Naruto Onii-sama," Yami poked him with her toe before looking at Momo blankly. "Is this what being in a family is like?"

"Pretty much," Momo chuckled. "Never a dull moment really." She grinned. "Want to see something impressive?"

"What?" Yami looked at Momo uncertainly (not that you could tell from her facial expressions or lack thereof).

"Tada!" She stripped Naruto of his sheet.

"What… what is happening here?" Yui blinked as she stepped out of the forest. "W-what are you doing?!" She gasped as she saw an unconscious and naked Naruto, an equally naked Momo and small blonde girl wearing a gothic Lolita outfit (that Yui found cute).

"Oh it's you again," Momo grinned. "Well we got bored having sex in my room so decided we'd try it in the forest!"

"You lie!" Yui crossed her arms. "Naruto isn't like that."

"Agreed," Yami nodded.

"Who are you?" Yui asked.

"I'm Momo, one of Naruto's future brides and Lala's younger sister." Momo bowed.

"I'm Yami," Yami blinked. "Naruto's my Onii-sama."

"Well aren't you just adorable," Yui hugged the small assassin who wasn't sure what to do so just stood there and took it. It felt… pleasant. "You look just like your brother. You can call me Yui-neechan okay? Here let me take you away from this unrepentant pervert. She'll corrupt you."

"Unrepentant pervert?" Momo blinked, "Well thank you," She grinned.

"I won't leave Onii-sama. I must keep track of him," Yami shook her head.

_Yui's Imagination _

"But I can't leave Naruto Onii-sama with the scary woman. She wants to do naughty things with him!" Yami's eyes watered as she sobbed into Yui's kimono.

_End Yui's imagination_

"Don't worry Yami-chan!" Yui declared as she covered Naruto again. "I'll make sure the nasty woman doesn't harm your brother!"

"I can assure you it won't hurt him. In fact I can almost guarantee he will enjoy it!" Momo grinned.

Yami watched as a blushing Yui berated Momo for being shameless. _'Humans are noisy.' _She thought to herself.

"Come on Yami-chan," Yui smiled at the assassin. "Let's take your brother somewhere safe from perverts," Yui paused to glare at Momo who tilted her head and smiled as they walked away. When she was sure that she was alone she turned to the bushes.

"Tell me you got that," She asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Nana climbed out of the bushes and pulled out a recording device that showed a hologram of Naruto. She pressed play.

"Don't you want to have sex with Lala?" Momo's voice sounded from off shot.

"Of course I do," Naruto smiled. "But I don't want to force her. I… don't want to lose control to my lust and accidentally hurt her."

The recording stopped.

"Hehehe," Momo grinned. "And tweak…" She started playing with the projector.

"Do you want to have sex with Lala?" The recorded Momo asked.

"Of course I do but I don't want to force her." The recorded Naruto replied.

"And with this my plan is one step closer to completion. Lala will know Naruto wants to have sex with her and she still has that one order that he has to follow."

"I feel bad manipulating Ane-ue and Naruto like this." Nana frowned.

"We aren't manipulating them," Momo smiled. "We are helping them get what they want but are too shy to actually ask for."

"Really?"

"Really," Momo grinned. "And if a side effect of that is we get to spend more intimate time with Naruto then… well it's just a happy coincidence."

"You were really convincing back there," Nana remarked.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Nana smiled. "For a second I really thought that you would risk upsetting Ane-ue."

"Yeah," Momo stared off into the distance. "It was a good act wasn't it." Momo closed her eyes. _'If Onee-sama wasn't willing to share Naruto…' _She opened her eyes. _'I would have had to take him from her. Naruto accepts me and I won't lose him… I refuse.' _

* * *

**Omake: How it could have been…**

A young girl with a spiky orange hair walked down the street, kicking loose pebbles. This girl was one Riko Yuuki, older sister of Mikan Yuuki and eldest child of Ringo and Saibai. Best friend of Haruna Sarenji and friends of Risa Momioka and Mio Sawada. In fact it was the last two that were the cause of her current bad mood. As usual Risa had pointed out that Riko had little to no experience with boys and that if she carried on being such a tomboy she would never get a boyfriend. Riko had claimed that she had a boyfriend and had been tricked into saying that she would introduce him to her friends.

She glanced at her reflection. It wasn't that she was unattractive but she was no good at dealing with boys. She actually had a small fan club who liked her energetic charm and her short hair. But whenever she tried to talk to a guy she panicked and said something stupid and ran away to try and save what little dignity she had left.

Riko sighed as she walked into her house. She threw her bag on to her chair and collapsed onto her bed with a sigh.

'_Oh why did I have to let my mouth run like that?" _She mentally moaned.

"Hey sis," Mikan opened the door, "Bad day?"

"Yeah," Riko smiled at her little sister. "You could say that."

"Why don't you take a bath," Mikan suggested. "It can help you relax after a bad day and I've already filled it for you."

"Yeah," Riko pushed herself up off her bed. "That sounds like a good plan." She smiled as she walked into the bathroom, throwing aside her clothes. She paused before a mirror and took in her body. She had a good figure (as Mio and Risa were constantly telling her). She had the perfect waist to bust ratio (again Mio and Risa's words) and they said if she grew out her hair she would be a traditional beauty. But long hair was a hassle to deal with and it got in the way when she was playing football so she always kept her hair short.

"I wish I could find a boy that just liked me for me and that I had no difficulty speaking with," Riko sighed as she stepped into the bath and let herself slide into the bath with a happy sigh. "What am I going to do tomorrow? When I show up without a boyfriend Risa and Mio will tease me all week."

There was a sudden explosion and the water in the bath flew around the bath and a pink haired girl stood in the bath with her. The newcomer looked around with a curious expression until her eyes landed on Riko.

"Hi there!" She glanced around. "Sorry about the mess."

"Aargh!" Riko cried out in alarm before trying to run out of the room before slipping and almost hitting her head on the floor until the pink haired girl stopped her fall. "Er… thanks."

"No problem!" The girl helped her stand.

"Er… who are you?"

"I'm Lala!" Lala smiled. "I come from the planet Deviluke!"

"Oh…" Riko smiled weakly. "So you are an alien?"

"I guess to you humans I am." Lala nodded.

"Are you okay?" Mikan burst into the room, "I heard you…" She paused. "Er… Am I interrupting something?"

"Hi I'm Lala!" Lala smiled.

"Hi?" Mikan raised an eyebrow at Riko.

"She's an alien." Riko shrugged.

"Okay?" Mikan blinked.

After the two girls had gotten dried and dressed they were all sat in the living room drinking tea and talking. Mikan had gone to get in the bath.

"So why are you here on Earth?" Riko asked Lala who happily drank the tea that she had been given.

"I… I did something terrible to someone important to me and I couldn't cope with him hating me." Lala stared at the floor. "He has something that is precious to him and I was looking at it and accidentally broke it…"

"I see," Riko paused. "Do you love this person?"

"Yes," Lala smiled weakly, "That's why it would break my heart if he hated me."

"I see," Riko smiled softly. "It must be nice to love someone. Does he love you back?"

"I hope so," Lala stared up into space, "If I haven't completely ruined our relationship…"

* * *

Naruto Asmodea Deviluke sighed as he checked his reflection. His long blonde hair fell to his shoulders, wild and messy as always. Six thick black whiskers on his face marked him as an omega, a legendary Devilukean berserker that appeared once every thousand years… or so the rumour went. With his mother and himself that made two in about forty years but that didn't sound as impressive he supposed. His arrowhead tail twitched as he returned his attention to two of his youngest charges. Currently they were gathered in the main living area of his personal space ship, the prototype frigate Konoha. This state of the art warship was armed with weapons that would make a ship three times its size jealous and carried armour capable of surviving clashes with dreadnoughts, one of the largest ship classification in the galaxy. Usually the power demand to run such a ship would require a core that took up most of the ship if not for the fact the core was Naruto. As an omega he had infinite energy practically, allowing his ship to constantly siphon energy from him to remain operational. Such was the limits of his energy that he barely noticed the drain. It was a shame he was still unable to utilise the majority of his energy. He needed better control for that apparently. Truly his ship was a military marvel and now it was serving as a classroom/ living quarters for the three Devilukean princesses, even if only two of them were present.

"Finished!" Nana declared. "Now there is just my history work to do!"

"Teacher's pet," Momo stuck her tongue out at Nana who merely smiled smugly in response.

"Momo," Naruto warned. "If you don't behave then you can bathe by yourself tonight."

"But you promised!" Momo looked horrified.

"I promised that I would bathe with you _if _you finished your homework." Naruto sighed, not for the first time hating Gid for giving him this mission. Ever since he had been 'kidnapped' by Gid ten years ago his life had been hell. Before then he had been exploring the stars with his space pirate mother who taught him so much. Then after a robbery that went wrong he found himself being schooled (and beat up) by Gid who then decided that he would increase Naruto's suffering by making him the sole bodyguard of his daughters. As revenge Naruto had started fights with every suitor that Gid sent to his daughters, scaring them away (much to delight of the three princesses). Funnily enough Gid didn't seem to care that much but Naruto was hoping that was because Gid was a good actor and deep down it was killing him.

Nana was the easiest of the three to deal with. Ever since Naruto had saved her from one of her suitors, she had admired him and followed his orders as if they were a writ from God. She never complained and relished in the positive attention he showered on her as a result.

Momo was the complete opposite of her twin. Her feelings for Naruto were not as innocent as Nana's which admittedly was his own fault after the bathing incident and she tended to do what she wanted. Fortunately threatening to not bathe with her often got her to do the work Gid had set them but it was a constant struggle.

Dealing with Lala was difficult. She was usually quite easy to deal with but she seemed to take a minor failure as a severe issue. One day she had forgotten to wash the dishes after they had eaten and had spent an entire day locked in her room because 'A careless woman who can't clean after herself could never be the bride of Naruto-kun'.

The fact that at least two thirds of the Devilukean princesses had decided they were going to marry him and were competing against each other should have made Naruto feel good about himself but all it did was make him feel tired. While Lala and Momo had both agreed that they would both marry him (without asking Naruto for his input it should be noted) they had refused to back down on who got his firsts. It frankly drained Naruto dealing with Momo's forward nature and Lala's genuine attempts to get him to fall in love by re-enacting scenes from the Shoujo manga she occasionally visited Earth to buy.

Speaking of Earth, Naruto gazed out of the window of his personal ship to look at the planet of his birth. Gid had suggested that Naruto take the girls to orbit Earth as a mini holiday, which Naruto had accepted as the less time he spent in Gid's company, the less he had to expect a random attack for no reason other than Gid was bored or his new personal favourite excuse 'A bodyguard of my daughters shouldn't be taken down by such a weak attack!' even if said weak attack was a Devilukean Dreadnoughts high energy laser cannon capable of vaporising a small city. Gid's motto was go big or go home which is somewhat ironic considering his small stature.

"Where is your sister?" Naruto frowned. "She never usually misses a homework session… even if she has usually finished all of her homework."

"Maybe she is sleeping?" Momo suggested.

"I'll go and check on her." Naruto walked towards Lala's room.

"But what about bath time?" Momo and Nana asked.

"I won't be long," Naruto smiled softly at the two who accepted his words and returned to their work.

"Lala?" Naruto opened the door to her quarters and glanced around. As with all the bedrooms on board Konoha there was a large double bed and a closet to store clothes in. There was also a small bedside cabinet. Each of the princesses had personalised their room somewhat. Lala's was littered with the scrap of a inventions she had half built or built then disassembled to use the parts on another machine that she kept stored in her d-dial. "Not in here then," Naruto frowned. "Kyuubi?"

"Yes master?" There was a flickering and a hologram of a nine tailed fox appeared. "How may I be of assistance?" Kyuubi was the control system for the ship, a free AI that was officially recognised as a member of the ship and as such received pay like the rest. It occasionally ordered hardware upgrades for itself as well as rom-coms which amused Naruto somewhat.

"Check all living personnel on board."

"Checking… Check complete. The following personnel are aboard the vessel; Naruto Asmodea Deviluke, Momo Velia Deviluke, Nana Astar Deviluke, Konohamaru Sarutobi-Deviluke, Hanabi Hyuuga-Deviluke… That is all."

"Thank you Kyuubi," Naruto sighed. "Can you check the logs for when Lala left the ship."

"Searching… Search complete. The crew member [Lala Satalin Deviluke] has not been aboard for 30 minutes Earth time."

"I see," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Any energy signatures nearby that could have beamed aboard and taken her?"

"There has been one energy reading unaccounted for in the logs. It originated from [Naruto Asmodea Deviluke's Quarters]."

"Thanks Kyuubi," Naruto sighed as he headed for his room, followed by the fox hologram.

"Should I prepare the drones to search the local area?" Kyuubi asked.

"Prepare them but don't deploy them." Naruto shook his head as he entered his room. As the captain's quarters his were larger than the princesses and his bed was double the size of that in the princesses, which was handy considering his three charges liked to sneak into his quarters and sleep with him. His room had a large display showing his trophies earned before and after his capture by Gid and his personal computer was on a work desk along with the previous homework that he had marked for the girls.

"Check the room for abnormalities." Naruto ordered.

"Scanning… Scan complete. Trophy 1S is damaged and on the floor. No other anomalies detected besides the faint trace of energy radiation." A holographic arrow appeared over the item.

"Ah… I remember this," Naruto picked up trophy 1S. It was a toy spaceship, one of the first things he had been given by his mother as a reward for helping her rob a bank. It looked as if someone had dropped it causing the model to fall to pieces. "I'm guessing Lala broke this then panicked before fleeing the ship. That means she must have used that device of hers… Warp-warp-kun. Summon my minions." Naruto walked up to a desk and pressed a button, opening a secret compartment.

"As you wish master." Kyuubi flickered from view. Barely a moment later two young devilukean's charged into the room and saluted.

"Sorry I'm late aniki!" The young boy on the left had brown hair and wore a blue scarf wrapped around his neck. His tail looked like a monkeys, having no end decoration to speak of. He was Konohamaru Sarutobi-Deviluke, a lesser noble from one of the Royal family's distant branches. He was roughly the same age as the twins and had an impish nature. He was wearing a black military uniform although it was untidy and unbuttoned.

"Reporting for duty sir!" The young girl on the right saluted him. She had long black hair and pale eyes. Her tale ended in a double headed axe shape. She was Hanabi Hyuuga-Deviluke, another lesser noble from a different branch of the royal family. She was disciplined and kept a level head which made her Naruto's second in command. Her uniform was crisp and neat, a direct contrast to her fellow officer.

These two were Naruto's minions. Kono viewed him as the big brother he had always wanted whereas Hanabi idealised Naruto as the hero that he was portrayed as in the devilukean academy, a legendary warrior who went against his own upbringing to protect the Empire that graciously took him in. Naruto hadn't the heart to tell her that all of the incidents that had been reported as him defending the Empire against threats large and small were usually just him trying to undo the damage that his charges had made and occasionally rescuing them from suitors who got the drop on him because if he didn't Gid would make his life even more miserable.

"At ease," Naruto nodded to Hanabi who relaxed. "I am going to Earth for a moment to find Lala. While I'm gone Hanabi is in charge."

"I won't let you down sir!" Hanabi saluted again.

"Yes, yes," Naruto waved her off, "Kono, it's up to you to keep the princesses occupied. If need be they can sleep in my bed until I return."

"Understood aniki," Konohamaru grinned. "Leave it to me!"

"Good," Naruto turned to the draw and pulled out a warp warp-kun and put it on his wrist. "Kyuubi can you track where Lala could have gone?"

"Negative," Kyuubi appeared in the room. "There are too many energy readings on Earth to isolate which is hers without a baseline reading."

"If I use this would you be able to calculate what energy reading was Lala's based on the energy readings of this one?"

"Possibly but it would take multiple jumps to be able to accurately identify the signal then check against similar readings at the time of Lala's disappearance."

"Figures," Naruto sighed. "And I'm guessing the population density of Earth is too high to do a quick scan on to find her?"

"It would take [Twelve Days] to complete a full Earth scan."

"Too long," Naruto sighed. "Fine I guess I'll use this then. Wish me luck."

"Good luck Aniki!" Kono waved.

"God speed sir!" Hanabi saluted as Naruto vanished, leaving a pile of clothes behind.

"God speed sir," Kono mocked.

"Shut up," Hanabi blushed. "He is my superior officer!"

"Yeah, that's why you are constantly kissing up to him." Kono shook his head and left the room. "You have no ulterior motives at all."

Hanabi glanced around nervously before stealing Naruto's discarded underwear and heading to her room and hiding them before heading to the control room to monitor the situation. She wasn't a pervert honest! She just… liked Naruto and his smell made her feel safe! Yes that was totally not perverted.

* * *

Yui Kotegawa sighed as she eased herself into the bath. Her entire body ached. Being the sole moral guardian of a school such as Sainan was mentally and physically draining and that was just dealing with the teachers, never mind the actual students.

She raised a slender leg out of the water and began cleaning it, after all a clean body was as important as a clean mind when it came to being an example for the other students to follow. It was a lonely path that she walked. No one would thank her for leading them down the right path but Yui didn't need their thanks. She just needed them to behave and do their part for the community.

"But sometimes I do wish that they'd at least greet me," Yui mumbled as she sank below the water, feeling it wash away her worries. Sure she might not have any friends yet but she had a feeling her luck was going to change. She would find a good moral man (who would be a prince if at all possible) and they would date for a year before he proposes to her. Then they would spend six months preparing the best wedding the world would ever see and then on their wedding night they would exchange their virginities. She would give birth to two children, a boy and a girl. Finally she would grow old with her husband as her children went on to become Prime Minister or Chief of Police or prince of whatever nation Yui had become queen of. Hey even Yui has dreams.

Suddenly the bathwater started to swirl violently and Yui struggled to surface. There was a sudden shock that travelled through her body then the water in the bath seemed to launch itself across the room throwing her into the air. She opened her mouth to scream but before she could start she found herself in the arms of a stranger. He had wild blonde hair and deep blue eyes that Yui was worried that she would get lost in. He had the cutest whisker marks and was smiling at her roguishly.

"Hey there," He chuckled. "Sorry 'bout the mess."

"It's…" Yui's brain rebooted as she realised just what was happening. She was naked in the bath with a stranger. She screamed and the stranger lowered her to the ground.

"Sorry!" He backed away giving Yui a good look of his body. He was quite muscular and well-defined, though he had quite a lot of scars. Yui's moral backbone refused to let her look below his chest.

"A delinquent has broken into my bathroom!" Yui cried out in realisation. She crouched in the bath trying to conceal her body and screamed.

"I assure you that is not the case," Naruto waved his tail that caused Yui to stop screaming.

"That's… a tail…" Yui blinked stupidly.

"Yes," Naruto nodded, "My name is Naruto and I am a devilukean."

"A what?"

"An alien," Naruto simplified. "I have come to your planet seeking a princess."

"How… How… How shameless!" Yui blushed crimson.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"So you think you can just teleport into my bathroom and whisk me away to be your princess?!"

"That's not what I…"

"We Earth women aren't that easy!" Yui covered herself and glared at him. "Get out of my bathroom!"

"Right, right," Naruto waved his hands, "It is clear I am causing you some discomfort."

"You are a naked stranger who appeared in my bath tub!" Yui refused to look at him.

"Okay then," Naruto touched a towel that began to twist and turn around Naruto's body until it became a toga.

"How… How did you do that?" Yui asked.

"Matter manipulation," Naruto winked. "One of my many special powers."

"I see…" Yui blinked.

"Now I apologise for your discomfort. I didn't mean to appear here. This bracelet is a teleportation device that selects a random destination but doesn't transfer clothes. I know that seems weird but the inventor is… unique shall we say. She is the princess I am looking for."

"Oh…" Yui faltered a little.

"That isn't to say that you aren't attractive," Naruto quickly rallied. His mother had taught him the art of flattery (as it could be used to get noble daughters to reveal where daddy's treasure ships would be heading) "If I could choose you to be my bride I would definitely consider it after getting to know you."

"Oh… well…" Yui suddenly found her feet very interesting.

"Here," Naruto grabbed another towel that started to wrap around Yui like a snake until it turned into a long flowing white dress. It no longer looked like a towel and instead appeared to be made of the finest silk. "A princess such as you deserves a dress to match your beauty."

"It's beautiful," Yui checked her reflection. She was basically wearing the wedding dress of her dreams. "I… I guess I can overlook your arrival here."

"I thank you," Naruto smiled roguishly at her. "Now as much as I would love to spend more time with you I must find the princess. May we meet again," Naruto missed Yui's hand causing her to blush so intensely steam appeared to be coming off of her head. He vanished without another word, his towel toga falling to the floor.

"W-what just happened?" Yui wondered to herself before twirling and watching her reflection. This dress was really good!

* * *

"Aah," Saki Tenjouin smiled as she bathed with her friends, Rin and Aya. They were bathing in her family's private hot springs. "It is tough being the queen." She stretched out with a pleased smile. Truly there were few tasks as challenging as walking around proudly all day. The way a Tenjouin was taught to walk made them stand out but it did tire the legs and shoulders. How she envied the commoners who could slouch and relax as they walked. Add to that all the 'royal' waving she had to do, there's no wonder that she felt so stiff and achy. Fortunately a hot spring was just the thing she needed to get rid of that stress. Well that and for her beloved father to find her a suitor that was actually interesting. They were all boring heirs who rode along on their parent's coat tails, never trying to improve themselves or their family. Saki had made it her mission to make the Tenjouin a family that was respected by commoners and nobility alike. She wasn't sure how she was going to do this but at least she was trying to change the family. It was more than could be said for most of her suitors.

"Of course Saki-sama," Rin replied distantly as she felt her cares melt away. There really was nothing like a hot spring. She had been training furiously all day to improve her ability to defend Saki and had developed aches in muscles she didn't even know existed. She frowned as she took in her body. Her callused hands, the occasional scar and the muscular build, Rin knew that she was not what most men looked for in a partner but so long as she could serve Saki-sama, she didn't care about boys or looking girly. Besides her father had said that her true love would look past that and would only care about her heart and receiving her love. As she stared at her rough palms she could only guess as to what kind of man would find her attractive.

"Hmm," Aya nodded in agreement. Unlike her two friends she wasn't a noble or trained how to behave around them and always felt out of place. Fortunately Saki was a good friend and never seemed to care if Aya broke protocol or did something she shouldn't have. Rin didn't seem to mind either. She was fortunate that Saki-sama had helped her out all those years ago, she couldn't imagine living without a friend.

Suddenly the bath waters started to whirl around and foam.

"What's happening?" Saki panicked.

"Saki-sama!" Rin grabbed her and Aya and leapt from the bath, carefully putting them down as the bath exploded.

"Oh my," Aya blinked.

"Oh my indeed," Saki murmured.

"Another bath?" Naruto gazed around. "Is this thing set to bath mode or something?"

"Who dares?" Rin summoned a sword from god knows where and pointed it at Naruto.

"I must apologise!" Naruto held up his hands. "See I have a tail, I'm an alien and I am searching for a princess."

"I see," Saki nodded sagely as Aya covered her up with a towel. "Tales of my beauty are even heard in the deepest reaches of space."

"Unfortunately not," Naruto smiled, "Although now I have seen you I fail to understand why that is the case."

"You flatterer," Saki blushed slightly. "Now I don't suppose you care to tell me why you are naked and in my bath? I was rather enjoying the relaxing soak and I would answer quickly if I were you. My bodyguard is a little bit of a mother hen and I love her all the more for it."

"Saki-sama," Rin smiled briefly before returning her attention on Naruto as Aya dressed her in a towel too.

"Ah I see," Naruto smiled at Rin, "So you are much like me then."

"Pardon?" Rin lowered her sword a fraction.

"I too am a bodyguard to a princess." Naruto lowered his head. "You must be able to understand the worry in my heart as my charge has disappeared using a device similar to the one I used to get here."

"I see," Rin adjusted her stance. "I can assure you that you are the first… alien to appear in this room."

"I see," Naruto smiled. "I thank you for your assistance," He teleported to Rin causing the other girls to gasp. Rin tried to jump back but Naruto grabbed her blade and closed his eyes. The blade seemed to waver in his hands before he released it with a smile. "As thanks for your assistance I have strengthened you blade and made it sharp enough to cut stone with no problems." He turned to Saki, "I know of no gifts I could give such a beautiful princess that would not be considered below you. I can only offer you my apologies for tarnishing your beauty with my presence." He turned to Aya and with a smile teleported up to her.

"Ah!" Aya gasped as he removed her glasses smiling at her in a way that made her knees go weak and her heart pound in her chest.

"You won't need these anymore," He whispered as he removed her glasses and disintegrated them before staring into Aya's eyes.

"What… what did you…?" Aya murmured.

"I fixed your eyesight," Naruto smiled. "And now… I bid you farewell!" Naruto vanished.

"What… What just happened?" Saki turned to Rin.

"I do not know," She swung her sword and a statue a good ten feet away fell into two neat halves. "Amazing."

"I can see!" Aya cried out in join.

"What an interesting person," Saki smiled to herself. "I wonder if I will ever see him again."

* * *

Kushina Uzumaki staggered to her shower, helped there by her roommate Ryouko Mikado. They both worked at the school Sainan High, Mikado was a nurse and she was a PE teacher.

"Now, now Kushi," Mikado smiled as she helped the drunk woman to walk, "If you keep getting wasted like this who knows whose bed you'll wake up in?"

"I'm going to die alone," Kushina sobbed. "Thirty sixsh! And do you know how many loversh I've had?"

"I'm guessing it's not a large number."

"None, a big fat zshero!" She threw her arms up into the air.

"I was right," Mikado remarked pleasantly.

"IT'sh alright for you." Kushina declared. "You can jusht leave the planet!"

It should be mentioned at this point that Kushina was aware that Mikado was an alien. Kushina herself was well versed in the history of the galaxy, of the Arcangus and the Damus; the two oldest alien species that were supposedly responsible for all life in the galaxy. This was due to who she was. You see Kushina Uzumaki was a member of a secret force that protected the Earth. The Arcangus Crest Bearers. The closest she had ever come to being with someone was at one gathering of similar people when the bearer of the Crest of Love and her had been talking but then she had said something stupid and scared him off.

"There, there," Mikado smiled as they entered the bathroom. For her part she had been curious as to the unusual energy readings she had gotten from Kushina. She had found out that she was a Crest Bearer and she carried the crest of Retribution. The two became good friends over time.

Kushina staggered into the shower and set it going. "Hey God? If you're up there send me a man! A really, really attractive man! With a big dick!"

"Really," Mikado smiled softly. "Do you really think that if there is a God out there he would ignore all the prayers of the people who are dying of starvation just to give you a good lay?"

"Not a good lay!" Kushina shook her head, "A hushsband!" She slurred.

Before Mikado could open her mouth the shower vibrated and exploded.

"My prayersh have been anshwered!" Kushina slurred before staring at the heavens. "Thank you god!"

"Hey God? Could I have one too?" Mikado asked the ceiling.

"Sorry about this," Naruto smiled weakly. "I wish I could say this was the first bathroom I've appeared in. This damn bracelet must be set to naked women…"

"Sho…" Kushina wrapped her arms around Naruto. "You wanna do thish here in the shhhower?"

"Er…" Naruto smiled as Kushina went to kiss him but seemed to slip through him as if he was a ghost. "First things first," He put two fingers on her forehead.

"Hey… what did you do?"

"Well I phased through you then I cured your drunk state." Naruto smiled.

"Oh," Kushina blinked. "Er… so are you really here then?"

"Naruto Asmodea Deviluke," Mikado remarked. "The Legend himself."

"You… are not a human," Naruto frowned at the alien doctor.

"You got that right," She showed him her ears. "What is Gid's Hound doing on Earth?"

"Gid's hound?" Naruto scowled at the nickname. "I am searching for a princess."

"Oh?" Kushina blinked. "I see." She blushed crimson. "Well if you want to ravage me then… go ahead."

"Maybe later," Naruto smiled disarmingly at her.

"Oh no you don't." Kushina growled. "You show up in my shower like some sort of blonde Adonis and then cock block me?! I've waited 36 years for a piece of ass like you to show up. Either you make me a woman or I'll make you make me a woman!"

"Er…" Naruto started to back away.

"I'll leave you two alone." Mikado shut the door with a smile.

"Listen… I don't even know your name."

"Kushina Uzumaki," Kushina smiled.

"Well Kushina, I usually wouldn't hesitate to ravish a woman of your beauty but…"

"You aren't sweet talking your way out of this one!" Kushina grinned.

"Well this was fun," Naruto smiled as the Pyon Pyon warp-kun signified it was charged. "We should meet up again." He vanished without a trace.

"NOOOOOOO!" Kushina fell to her knees and wailed at the unfairness of the world.

* * *

Mikan sighed as she settled down in the bath. Lala's story was a little hard to take and Mikan couldn't help but think it was a story that Riko and Lala had made up to explain why they were in the bath naked together. She was a little hurt that Riko had gone to such lengths to hide the fact she was sexually experimenting with another girl. Did she think that her own little sister would be disgusted? Mikan didn't care so long as Riko was happy. They were probably kissing or something.

Mikan frowned. Some of her friends were talking about kissing as if it was a strange and magical thing. She had kissed her parents before and it didn't seem that special but her friends assured her if you did it with a boy you weren't related to it felt good. Personally Mikan believed they were just claiming to have experience with kissing, at their age there was no way they'd have that kind of a relationship. She closed her eyes and tried to envisage herself kissing someone. It was hard to do as she'd never seen a boy that she actually liked. She was too young to think of things like that.

"Hmm… No explosion this time," A male voice sounded. "Battery must be getting low."

"Huh?" Mikan opened her eyes and suddenly went bright red. In the bath with her was the most handsome blonde male she had ever seen.

"I am sorry about this," Naruto glanced at the bracelet. "I am looking for…

"Lala?"

"You've seen her?!" Naruto leapt to his feet causing the bath water to spill.

"Yes," Mikan tried not to stare at the stranger's crotch. She was pretty sure that would be considered impolite. "She is downstairs with my older sister."

"I see!" Naruto beamed at her making her feel strange in her stomach. "Then I owe you a debt. Ask any favour and if it is within my power I shall grant it!"

"Well…" Mikan frowned. "Some of my friends were saying that kissing feels good."

"It does," Naruto agreed.

"Really," Mikan paused. "Can you kiss me?"

"On the lips?"

"Yes please," Mikan closed her eyes.

"If that is your wish," He shrugged before kissing Mikan gently on the lips. It was as if a surge of energy went through her entire body. "Is that all?"

"Y-yeah," Mikan blushed. "Thank you."

"No problem." Naruto stepped from the bath and exited the room heading down stairs.

"Lala?" He called out as he entered the main living room.

"Naruto?!" Lala turned to face him with tears in her eyes.

"So this is…" Riko suddenly looked away blushing crimson. "Why are you naked?"

"Oh…" Naruto grabbed a curtain that twisted around his body and changed into trousers and a shirt. "Is this better?"

"Much," Riko mumbled, still recovering from seeing so much of a man.

"I'm so sorry!" Lala sobbed. "I didn't mean to break it!"

"I know," Naruto whispered soothingly and hugged her to his chest. "I know that it was an accident. Please next time just let me know rather than running away. I can fix things with my matter manipulation right?"

"I… I forgot about that," Lala blushed.

"Silly Lala," He chided softly and kissed her forehead before turning to Riko. "I owe you a debt for looking after Lala-sama for me. Name any favour and if it is within my power I will grant it."

"Anything?" Riko's eyes widened as she saw a way to avoid being ridiculed by Risa and Mio. "Be my boyfriend!"

"What?" Lala's eyes widened.

"I'm surprised!" Mikan remarked as she entered the room dressed in a towel. "I never knew you had it in you sis."

"Ah!" Riko went bright red, "Not like that!"

"Oh?" Naruto tilted his head.

"My friends want to meet my boyfriend but I don't actually have one so…" She bowed her head, "Please pretend to be my boyfriend for the day!"

"Naruto is too busy to…" Lala started.

"Sure," Naruto shrugged.

"What?" Lala glanced at him.

"Really?" Riko beamed at him.

"A debt is a debt and must be paid," Naruto said with a grin, "Plus it sounds like it could be a fun distraction from work."

"Thank you!" Riko smiled.

If she knew the trouble that this would cause her… she would have probably just taken the week of being ridiculed by Risa and Mio.


	13. Chapter 13: Things go bump in the night

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello Everybody! Another piece of To Love 'Ruto Goodness!

I know some people may be upset by this but this story is a HarunaXRito NarutoXEveryoneelse (At least for part one.) For those of you wondering why I chose that pairing despite the polls results, To Love 'Ruto; Devilukean Edition (Formely Redux) is a NaruXRiko story to appease those of you who wanted to see this pairing. It wasn't that I couldn't think of a reason for this pairing to happen, it is simply that it didn't fit with my plan for the first part of the story but a big thanks to all of you who got in touch either by PM or review. It is people like you who give me the motivation to carry on writing this story.

On that note the Omake from the previous chapter is now its own story. To Love 'Ruto: Devilukean Edition. I recently updated the first chapter so if you read it before the 8/2/15 then most of Naruto's parts have been changed now that I have decided on the character he will play. I won't go into more detail but if you are curious check it out. It is now 250% more Ecchi - Jiraiya Approved.

For those of you wondering what the second part of this story is... that will be To Love 'Ruto Darkness so all you Mea, Nemesis and Tearju fans can rejoice. I am still writing the plot for that though and this story has a fair bit to go before the first part ends so that won't be out for a while.

Oh and for those of you who asked, there is a lemon in this chapter. It is my first lemon though so hopefully I did a good job.

I've been debating whether or not to put my faith in a english - japanese translator to invent some attack names but usually the translator doesn't actually translate as you want it to rather than a genuine japanese translation. (Case in point Raito Cyannon for Light Cannon. I wanted something that sounded Japanese not something that sounded like a Japanese person speaking english...)

Special thanks to Shinnagami who beta read this chapter for me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or To Love Ru. I also don't own a Ferrari, which probably wouldn't be the case if I did own those two franchises.

* * *

Chapter 13: Bump in the night

Naruto awoke with a tired groan and as he forced open his protesting eyes he found himself in the familiar scene of his hotel room

"What happened?" He muttered as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"You have been sleeping for two hours." An emotionless voice responded.

"Gargh!" Naruto jumped at the familiar voice. "Yami-chan?" He looked around to find himself alone in the room. "Where are you?"

"Watching." Was Yami's only response.

"Okay then…" Naruto sighed as he glanced at the clock on the wall. "Ten at night… What happened? I seem to remember I was fighting Momo…"

"You suffered considerable blood loss," Yami commented. "I was unable to find the one responsible for your injuries."

"Oh… that," Naruto coughed uneasily as he remember how the game had ended for him. "Who won the game?"

"I believe that was the oldest princess."

"Ah," Naruto smiled softly, "So Lala won. What was the prize?"

"I do not know."

"Alright," Naruto glanced at the other boys in the room before realising they weren't there. "Yami… where are the others?"

"The other males in the room decided to try and sneak into the girls rooms."

"… Didn't you think that would get up to 'ecchi' things and stop them?"

"They are not my concern." Yami responded bluntly.

"Great," Naruto groaned as he got to his feet. "Well Rito probably won't be dangerous, Kenichi is relatively harmless so I don't really have to worry about him but Ren…" Naruto narrowed his eyes, "He'll probably try and sneak off to see Lala."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Yami responded in her usual deadpan. "You are awake and stable. I will continue my investigation into the attack on you."

"You really don't have to," Naruto waited for a response but didn't get one. "Damn it."

"Oh you are awake!"

"Oh," Naruto turned to face Run who had just entered the room. "You're a girl… again."

"That's right," Run smiled as she posed sexily, somewhat helped by the tight fitting nurse costume that she had managed to get a hold of somehow, "You were badly injured so I volunteered to look after you! Now lay down and let nurse Run take good care of you."

"I'm fine, honestly," Naruto smiled uneasily and backed away.

"Why do I feel that Lala had something to do with this," Run shook her head. "Once again she has gotten you badly hurt!"

"Actually it was just a little nose bleed," Naruto interrupted but was completely ignored.

"It is clear to me you need someone to look after you," Run grabbed Naruto's hands and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Well…" Naruto fidgeted uneasily. He hated seeing girls cry even if said girl seemed to be a male most of the time. "I guess I could be more careful…"

"Just lay back," Run pushed him onto his futon. "And let Run-chan take care of you." She straddled his waist.

"You are taking this too far Ren," Naruto scowled. Girl or not there was no way he was letting Ren carry on with this facade.

"I'm not Ren," Run's bottom lip quivered. "My name is Run. My brother and I share the same body!"

"Seriously?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"It's the truth." Run took Naruto's hand and put it on her breasts. "See... Aren't these real?"

"Er…" Naruto pulled his hand away. "Listen, I really need to use the bathroom so if you could just get off of me."

"Alright," Run got off of Naruto and helped him to his feet.

"I've just remembered there is a thing that I need to do," Naruto raced out of the door leaving a confused Run behind.

"Why did he run away? Am I not attractive?" She whispered to herself. "No… that isn't it." She clenched her fists. "Lala must have something to do with this!"

* * *

Rito found himself running for his life. He was regretting that Kenichi had managed to talk him into joining him on this night time escapade although to be fair Kenichi had painted a scene of beautiful girls clad only in their underwear letting them into their room and maybe even having a pillow fight.

None of which had happened, instead Rito had been so busy fantasising about Haruna that he had knocked over a potted plant and alerted the teachers to their presence. Currently Rito was running around madly trying to find his way out of the girl's area and back to his own room. He had left Kenichi for dead.

"Why didn't I stay with Naruto," Rito wondered as he ran down the hallway.

"I think he went this way!"

"Not good!" Rito moaned as he rounded a corner only to collide with a certain blonde protagonist, "Ouch!" Rito cried out in pain.

"Damn it," Naruto cursed as he rubbed his nose.

"They are this way!" A teacher's voice sounded.

"Well that's not good," Naruto frowned. "I'm guessing there are teachers chasing you."

"Yeah," Rito nodded. "You?"

"Kushina was waiting for me to step out of my room," Naruto sighed. "I've got to give her marks for effort. She had placed a steel wire trap but she greatly underestimated how badly I wanted to get away from a cross dressing Ren."

"Uzumaki-san, Yuuki-kun," Haruna opened her door. "Quickly in here!"

"Thanks!" The two boys snuck into the room as the teachers milled around uncertainly outside.

"Did you see Naruto here?" Kushina asked.

"Do you think he was one of the boys sneaking into the girl's room?" An elderly male teacher asked.

"Unlikely" Mikado's voice was amused. "You'd have to drag him into one probably. He is a bit of a… prude shall we say."

"Unfortunately," Kushina agreed.

Naruto twitched with silent fury until the teachers had left the door.

"Thanks Sarenji," Naruto grinned at his friend. "You really saved me."

"No problem Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled. "You would have done the same for me."

Before Rito could say anymore the familiar voice of Lala and Risa talking caused the inhabitants of the room to look at each other.

"Oh no!" Rito panicked.

"It's okay," Naruto calmed him. "I'm sure that Lala, Risa and Mio will understand the situation."

"Er… Kotegawa-san is also sharing this room," Haruna looked worried.

"We are doomed," Naruto looked around the room and hid in the wardrobe.

"Ah…" Rito floundered. There was no way both he and Naruto would fit in the wardrobe but there was nowhere else to hide.

"Here!" Haruna grabbed Rito and hid him underneath the blankets, using her legs to disguise where Rito was hiding.

Naruto peered through the keyhole and couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy before mentally berating himself.

"Hey!" Lala beamed as she entered the room. "Are you sure you didn't want a drink. You look quite warm."

"Ah…" Haruna blushed as she adjusted her position, causing Rito's hair to tickle her inner thigh. "I am fine thank you. I just want to get to sleep."

"Where's the fun in that?" Risa challenged. "We should talk about the boys we like!"

"Such a topic is unsuitable," Yui scowled. "We should rest and get ready for the morning. I hear that the plan is to walk around the historic town just a few miles from this inn."

"How typical of the tyrant of the school corridor," Risa sighed. "We are girls having a sleepover. It is practically the law that we have to talk about the boys we like!"

"Just like boys have to talk about the girls they like," Mio nodded. "It's an unwritten law that has been in Japan since the Sengoku period! When Lady No and Nene had a sleepover they had to talk about their love life!"

"I severely doubt that," Yui frowned.

"Well it isn't as if we need your contribution." Risa smirked. "We all know that you like Naruto."

'I really shouldn't be listening to this,' Naruto thought to himself and prayed Haruna would do something to change the subject.

"I don't!" Yui blushed hotly.

"Why not?" Lala tilted her head. "He is a good boyfriend!"

"Because..." Yui floundered desperately for a reason not to like Naruto, "I don't like blonde hair!"

"Really?" Risa frowned. "I think it makes Naruto look exotic."

'I never knew that my hair was that much of an issue for Yui,' Naruto thought to himself.

"It makes him look like a delinquent," Yui scowled. "And that means he keeps getting himself into fights and getting hurt."

"So you don't like him because he keeps getting himself into trouble?" Mio asked.

"Or is it that you can't stand to see him getting hurt so you pretend you don't like him to stop yourself getting close to him and having to witness him getting hurt," Risa offered her two cents.

"I…" Yui's shoulders dropped. "I admit Naruto is a nice person. He is handsome and despite his appearance his is quite a moral person but I just can't see him and me in a relationship."

"Why not?" Lala asked.

"How about because he's dating you," Risa pointed out. "For most of us Earth girls that is kind of a problem."

"Why though?" Lala frowned. "If you love someone and being with them makes you happy then shouldn't you try your best to be with them?"

"Even at the cost of your friends?" Risa raised an eyebrow.

"Well if you and your friends like the same person, can't you just all like him together?"

"I don't know how you do things on your planet but on Earth we believe in monogamous relationships." Yui shook her head. "Anything else is just too… shameless to even consider."

"But wouldn't it ruin your friendship anyway?" Lala pointed out. "If you like someone but don't act won't you grow to resent the person that actually got to go out with…? Oh!" Lala beamed. "So that's why you don't like me!"

"What?" Yui blinked.

"Because you want to date Naruto but I am and since you are my friend and don't want to ruin our relationship you pretend not to like him but that is only making you not like me since I can date Naruto!" Lala looked proud with herself.

"Hadn't we already established that in the Great Paint War of a few hours ago?" Risa deadpanned.

"If that's the case," Lala looked thoughtful. "Is there no way we can share him?"

"I'm sorry Deviluke-san," Yui shook her head. "I… I cannot take part in something so shameless."

"Muu…" Lala sighed sadly. "I hope you change your mind. I like you Yui-chan and so does Naruto. We both want you to be happy!"

"Naruto-san likes me?" Yui blinked.

"Of course," Lala nodded. "He calls you Yui-chan right? He took you to that café and lets you call him Naruto instead of Uzumaki-san. Right Haruna-chan?"

"Er…" Haruna fidgeted nervously. She could feel Rito's breath on her underwear and was praying for some sort of distraction. She hadn't been paying any attention to the conversation. "Yes."

"See!" Lala beamed. "Haruna-chan is Naruto's best friend! If she thinks that's true then it must be."

"If he likes me," Yui asked. "They why did he start dating you?"

"Ahahaha," Lala laughed. "I guess my persistence must have won the day."

"Persistence?" Yui asked.

"Hai!" Lala smiled fondly. "I have loved Naruto since I met him all those years ago. It is only recently that I was able to show him how I feel."

'Wait what?!' Naruto blinked. 'I've only known her a couple of months!'

"Oh you met Naruto before?" Risa grinned. "How'd you meet?"

'Yeah Lala… how did we meet?' Naruto frowned. He had no memories of meeting Lala before she appeared in his shower.

"Oh…" Lala blushed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Her hand travelled to a small necklace that she was wearing.

"We've accepted you are an alien," Risa shook her head, "What could be less believable than that?"

Unfortunately for Naruto and Risa, Lala was interrupted by a crash as a girl fell into the room through the window.

"Tch," Momo stood up rubbing her rear. "Huh? Onee-sama?"

"Momo-chan?" Lala blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"I was…" Momo hid the Naruto tracker she was carrying in her back pocket. "Looking for you?"

"Oh," Lala beamed. "Is Nana with you?"

"Oh… she's sleeping in our room," Momo decided not to mention that she had slipped Nana some Devilukean strength sleeping tablets so the twin wouldn't get in her way when she went hunting for Naruto to have some fun. While Naruto's virginity was Lala's to take, there was plenty of fun they could have together that wouldn't count as taking his virginity.

"You are Lala-chi's sister?" Mio remarked. "You have quite a nice body. It must run in the family."

"Almost all the females in our family have good bodies." Momo smiled innocently.

"Wait a minute!" Yui pointed at Momo. "You said you were one of Naruto-san's wives!"

"That's right," Momo smiled. "I'm going to marry Naruto along with Onee-sama."

"B-but you can't!" Yui stammered.

"Why not?" Momo tilted her head. "After all Naruto is going to be the emperor of the Universe."

'Yeah and my first edict will be 'Purge the Heretical Gid' or maybe I will create some sons who are practically demigods. Must make a note to keep an eye on them though. Wouldn't want them falling to Gid-side…' Naruto amused himself by picturing him stood as Emperor of all Reality. 'Nah... Maybe I should preach about A Superior Good? Everyone working together…' He shook his head with a smile.

"He's what?" The girls looked at each other with the exception of Lala who merely nodded.

"That's right," Momo smiled. "As Emperor he is expected to have many wives and concubines. Naruto will easily become the emperor and after that…" Momo smiled, "Me and my sisters will marry him." She looked at Yui intently, "Although he could marry as many woman as he wanted, it is rare to take more the six wives. Four of those spots are already taken so that leaves two brides and the rest will have to be concubines."

"How will he become emperor?" Yui asked narrowing her eyes.

"Oh he has to defeat the warriors that my father is sending after him then finally defeat my father who is currently the strongest being in the universe." Momo replied.

"So what you are saying is…" Yui glared at Lala, "You have dragged Naruto into a fight where he could get himself killed!"

"I…" Lala started to defend herself but Yui didn't give her the time.

"I remember when I first met Naruto," She whispered. "I was being bullied by some girls, they were all older than me and were kicking me when Naruto showed up and scared them away. He escorted me home but I was too scared to actually speak to him and when he left me at my house I wanted to thank him but I was too frightened to," Yui clenched her fists, "I watched as he left the house only for the girls to come back with a gang of boys. I did nothing but listen as they beat him up and left him bleeding on the floor, I just stood in my room, staring through the window as a green haired girl picked him up and took him home. I felt so helpless… I swore that I would never stand by and let good people suffer because of the bad ones, I wouldn't let Naruto suffer because of me."

'That was Yui?' Naruto blinked. 'I don't remember a green haired girl though…'

"But that was a lie," Yui looked at the floor. "Because when those thugs started beating Naruto with bats as he was forced to stand still… I was useless. Part of me wanted to help him, even if it got me shot but I was a coward and just stood there watching them nearly kill Naruto. I am not a strong person like you Lala-san, I… I can't stand seeing him getting hurt. That's why I can't be with him. Naruto attracts trouble and… and I couldn't bear to see him suffer."

'Yui-chan…' Naruto closed his eyes

"Man…" Risa broke the awkward silence. "I thought it was just a crush but… you've actually liked him for a while haven't you?"

Yui didn't respond.

"So you are giving up?" Momo remarked. "All I heard there was how much you had suffered. What do you think of Naruto's suffering? He is willing to bare these burdens to protect those he cares about. You said it yourself, he allowed himself to get beat up to protect you and you repay him by turning your back on him?"

"Momo!" Lala exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Onee-sama but I am not shutting up," Momo crossed her arms. "Do you even realise how lucky you are? To have someone like Naruto caring for you? Naruto cares for you a lot, hell the idiot is so dense he probably doesn't even realise why he hangs around with you."

'Thanks,' Naruto thought sarcastically.

"But I suppose that's a part of his charm. Do you know that Naruto is a virgin still?"

'THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!' Naruto mentally roared.

"It's not for lack of chances though, it's just because he is a…moral person. He would never do anything to hurt his precious people." She chuckled, "It isn't as if he would turn into a mindless pervert and make you do things you don't want to if you join his harem. God knows I'd be pregnant by now if I had my way." Momo smiled.

"Me too," Lala nodded.

"Me three!" Risa added.

'Risa?' Naruto blinked. 'I always thought she was just a flirty person… I never thought she was genuinely attracted to me and I know Lala said she was willing to have sex with me but I thought she was just saying what I wanted to hear…'

"Really?" Momo looked at Risa.

"Naruto has helped me out a lot. He… I guess what I am trying to say is I do really care about him. Of course he just brushes off my advances," Risa sighed sadly.

"Blame Kushina for that," Momo shook her head. "Her constant bombardment of sexual energy has made Naruto fairly resilient to those types of attacks."

"Figures," Risa laughed as she stared at the ceiling.

"But if you keep it up I'm sure you will win his heart! That's how I did anyway." Lala beamed. "Although I did have to live with him for a while before it worked. Maybe you should move in with us!"

"Don't go inviting people into someone else's home," Kushina remarked as she entered the room. "It is lights out you girls are supposed to be sleeping." She glanced at Momo, "And don't you and your sister have a different room? Get out already."

"Yeah, yeah," Momo sighed. 'Looks like my Naruto-tracker isn't working anyway.' She thought as she clambered out of the window.

"You could have used the door," Kushina muttered before switching off the lights. "Now get to sleep already. The principal has a plan for tomorrow and we all know how those end up."

"Sorry," The girls climbed into their beds and waited for a while before resuming their conversation, admittedly a lot quieter. Rito was currently barely clinging to consciousness and trying not to stare at Haruna's panties whilst Naruto was trying to get comfortable in the wardrobe whilst digesting what he had heard.

"How about a bet!" Lala decided.

"A bet?" Risa asked.

"Right," Lala nodded. "Yui-chan, I bet that when you have your date he will do something that will make your heart go doki-doki-boom!"

"Doki-doki-boom?" Yui repeated.

"Right," Lala nodded. "And when that happens you will realise that you want to be with Naruto no matter what. If that happens then you must go with your feelings and go out with Naruto okay?"

"And if I don't feel anything like that?" Yui asked.

"Hmm." Lala looked thoughtful. "What would you like to happen?"

"You will stop pestering me about my feelings for Naruto-san," Yui responded.

"Deal," Lala beamed.

After about forty minutes the girls minus Haruna fell to sleep.

"Thanks," Naruto smiled at Haruna as he crept out dragging a blushing Rito.

"Just hurry!" Haruna glanced at the sleeping girls.

"Let's go back to our room," Rito said distantly.

"I… I need to think about some things." Naruto headed back into the forest where they had fought the Paint War. "I never realised Yui-chan cared so much. Does that mean she got in relationship with someone else to distract herself from me? What do I do? If that is the case then she won't be happy and that means I should do something about it…" He groaned as he sat down on a tree stump. "And why was I so jealous of Rito? I thought I had moved on from Haruna. I thought that was all behind me."

"Then you are even stupider than you look."

Naruto glanced to see Momo stood behind him. "Momo…"

"So my tracker was working but you were hidden in that room," Momo smiled.

"Yeah…" He stared forward.

"Haruna was your first love, did you really think that getting over her would be that easy?" Momo sat down beside him.

"It is hardly fair to you girls if I am thinking about Haruna all the time." Naruto sighed. "She likes Rito not me and I'm in a relationship with your sister."

"She likes you both," Momo smiled. "I can tell but I guess she prefers that Rito boy for some strange reason."

"Why…" Naruto closed his eyes. "Why does hearing someone else say it make it more painful than when I think it?"

"Wanting Haruna to love you back doesn't make you a bad person," Momo leaned her head on his shoulder. "Like you said, she was your first love. She is kind and beautiful… She is a lot like you in that sense, both of you are too kind for your own good. I don't know why Haruna turned down your confession, hell if you confessed to me I would be half naked and making out with you before you'd have time to register the fact I'd said yes but the thing is you can't win them all. Lala and I know that you have feelings for Haruna and that they aren't just going to go away overnight, we aren't upset by this so don't worry there. If you really think that getting Rito and Haruna together is for the best we will help you but I warn you, seeing them together will hurt you even more in the short run."

"Kind of like breaking a bone that healed incorrectly to reset it," Naruto remarked. "It's going to hurt but it will be better for you in the long run."

"I suppose so."

"I guess there's nothing else I can do," Naruto stood up. "I guess this is the first time I've actually seen Rito and Haruna that close, even if it was under forced circumstances."

"Huh?" Momo blinked. "When were they together?"

"Never mind," Naruto shook his head. "If I get them together… I can get the closure I need. I apologise in advance if I get a little… down."

"We'll always be here for you," Momo smiled.

"Heh," Naruto drew Momo into a hug catching the girl by surprise. "Thanks Momo. I like this side of you." He kissed her on her forehead before releasing her and heading back to his room. "I'll see you later."

Momo was stood frozen, her heart was beating like a drum. 'It was only a kiss? Why did it have such an effect?!' Then she realised, 'That… that is the first time he has willingly shown me affection without any prompting! I didn't do anything to make him do that! That means…' Momo stared as Naruto walked out of the forest. 'He really does love me!' She smiled widely as she made her way back to her room.

* * *

"Gather around!" The principal declared happily as the students entered the main hall the following morning. The boys were all in good spirits after the fun they'd had the previous afternoon. The girls were considerably less pleased.

"Go to hell," Some of the female students growled.

"Now, now," The principal laughed. "Originally I was going to have you all walk around the small town nearby. But then I heard about this!" He held up a flyer. "A brand new heated swimming park has opened up and we have all be invited!"

"Really?" Lala beamed. "That sounds like fun!"

"But we don't have any swim suits," Risa pointed out.

"That's why I have arranged for school swimsuits for all of you!" The principal declared happily. "I just love seeing you wearing them!"

"He doesn't even try to hide her perversions does he?" Naruto shook his head.

"But that isn't all! As a reward for doing so well yesterday you have all been graded and given prize money from a mysterious sponsor based on how well you did!"

Several hotel maids started to hand out the envelopes.

"A mysterious sponsor?" Naruto received his envelope and read the note inside.

'Student ID: Naruto Uzumaki

Kills (Boys): 1 Direct (500 Yen) 1 Assist (200 Yen)

Kills (Girls): 2 Hot Twins Assist (10000 Yen)

Other: 1 Inuzukan Prince (1000 Yen)

Total Winnings: 11700 Yen (Approximately £66 or $99.5)

Have fun at my new swimming pool– Jiraiya.'

"Oh this is not going to end well," Naruto pocketed the money with a sigh. "Anything with Jiraiya in it is going to end badly for me."

"Is this a lot?" Lala turned to Naruto holding 500,000 Yen.

"What?" Naruto looked at her receipt and face palmed.

'Student ID: Lala Satalin Deviluke

Kills (Boys): 1 Naruto + Various others (10,000 Yen)

Kills (Girls): 2 Hot Twins and 1 hot nurse (190,000 Yen)

Special: Being Naruto's Girlfriend (100,000 Yen) Doing a victory dance in a bra and panties (200,000 Yen)

Total Winnings: 500,000 Yen (Approximately £2825.3 or $4252.6)

Make sure to visit the Icha Icha Lovers store for idea on spicing up your relationship! – Jiraiya.'

"Jiraiya has far too much money if he can afford to throw away amounts like this," Naruto shook his head. Fortunately it seemed Lala's amount of money was the only one that was ridiculously high. Most of the girls ended up with half of what Naruto had gotten whereas most of the boys barely earned a quarter of Naruto's earnings. Another difference was that Jiraiya had signed as The Legendary Toad Sage on the other people's cards.

"Well," Risa grinned as she looked at her winnings. "Suddenly the fact I was stripped naked seems slightly less horrible."

The class made their way onto the coach and set off without any trouble. Naruto found himself sat next to Rito with Haruna and Lala sat behind them.

"I've never been to a water park," Lala announced cheerfully. "I hope it is as much fun as it looks!"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I'm sure it will. I don't usually go on rides though."

"Oh…" Lala looked upset. "If you don't want to go on the slide you don't have to. I'll be just as happy swimming with you as I would be going on the rides with you."

"If you really want to go on some rides with me I'd be honoured to join you." Naruto smiled at Lala who beamed in return.

"Great!" She declared as she returned her attention to the small flyer the principal had passed around. "The Torrential Terror sounds fun! Hmmm… Torrential Terror… That sounds like a great name for our second child!"

"No way in hell," Naruto deadpanned, "Seriously Lala, you suck at naming things."

"Muu…" Lala pouted cutely. "What name would you suggest?"

"Er…" Naruto rubbed his chin, "I guess… er… If it's a girl," He glanced at Haruna, "Would you mind if I named a daughter after you?"

"Of course not," Haruna smiled, "I would be honoured."

"Great," Naruto beamed, "So if it was a girl I'd call her Haruna. "

"And if it were a boy?" Lala asked.

"Minato," Naruto replied without hesitation.

"I see," Lala beamed. "Those are great names!"

"I'm glad you like them," Naruto smiled.

"I suppose I should let you name your own attacks as well," Lala looked thoughtful.

"Great," Naruto grinned.

"On the condition that you yell out their name when you use them!" Lala finished.

"But wouldn't that tell my opponent what I was planning to do?"

"And?" Lala had stars in her eyes, "It would be so cool!"

"Right…" Naruto chuckled and shook his head.

"I'm just trying to figure out what the principal's angle is." Rito glanced at the aforementioned who was looking at something on his phone with a blush on his face.

"How about the fact he gets to see all the girls in swimsuits?" Naruto shrugged. "Or maybe he is hoping that if the girls have a good enough time here they won't press charges against him?"

"Possibly," Rito agreed. "But I can't shake the feeling there is something else going on…"

* * *

"Okay... this looks like a swimming pool," Rito glanced at Naruto as they walked out of the changing rooms. They were wearing swimming shorts that had been provided by the swimming pool. "But I still have a bad feeling..."

"That makes two of us," Naruto glanced around. "But this does look like a genuine swimming pool. Maybe there are hidden cameras in the girl's changing rooms or maybe the rides have little hooks designed to rip off a girl's clothing as she goes on the rides…"

"Really?" Kenichi grinned.

"Possibly," Naruto frowned. "The guy who gave us the money is an unrepentant pervert and this is a swimming pool that he apparently funded. Add to that the principal seemed far too eager to send us here… something is definitely planned."

"Right," Rito nodded.

"Naruto!" Lala beamed as she left her changing room and ran up to Naruto.

"You shouldn't run in a swimming pool you might slip." He smiled as she hugged his arm.

"I'm so excited!" Lala snuggled into his arm. "This is my first time swimming at a place like this."

"Is it?" Risa, Mio and Haruna followed her out. "I've got to say Lala-chi that outfit looks good on you!"

"Really?" Lala turned to Naruto, "Do you like it?

"Er…" Naruto looked away, "Yeah you look good in it."

"I'm glad," Lala cuddled up to Naruto who became more aware of her breasts squeezing into his arm.

"You two…" Yui scowled as she left the changing room. "You should behave more appropriately in public!"

"Yeah," Risa chuckled, "You two acting so lovey dovey is just embarrassing you know?" She gave a sudden push causing Naruto and Lala to fall into the pool, "Maybe you two should cool off?"

"Pwah!" Naruto surfaced and swam to the edge. "Oh Risa-chan, I have something I want to tell you."

"Oh?" Risa crouched down in front of him. "What's that?"

"Got you!" Naruto grabbed her and dragged her into the pool.

"Naruto!" She yelled as she surfaced. "You should be gentler with me! Save the rough stuff for when we are alone!"

"Momioka!" Yui fumed.

"Fine, fine," Naruto sighed. "I can wait."

"Uzumaki!"

"Ahahaha!" Naruto and Risa laughed as Yui fumed.

"Welcome!" A booming voice that Naruto recognised sounded from all the loudspeakers around the pool.

"Jiraiya…" Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"Students of Sainan High to my swimming pool! Here you will find a wide variety of rides for all tastes! Enjoy!"

Suddenly several inflated items fell from the ceiling and into the pool and the students cheered as they dived into the pool.

"This is fun!" Lala declared as she sat on a floating alligator toy.

"It is time for our duel!"

"Huh?" Lala turned to face her aggressor, "Oh Run-chan! I haven't seen you in a while!"

"Don't get all friendly with me you… you man stealer!" Run declared. She was wearing the school swimsuit and was currently riding a giant inflatable duck. "I challenge you to a fight for Naruto!"

"Oh?" Lala tilted her head.

"That's right," Run smirked, "When I win you will break up with Naruto and leave him alone!"

"Nope," Lala stuck her tongue out, "Naruto is going to marry me so why should I accept your challenge?"

"Because…" Run faltered, "Er… I'll call you a chicken if you don't!"

"I'd rather be called a chicken than lose Naruto," Lala shrugged.

"Chicken!" Run started making chicken noises.

"Muu…" Lala frowned before getting an idea and pulled out her D-Dial and summoned a shark robot. "Sink her Shark-kun!"

"ROGER." The small shark locked onto Run and charged towards her, completely missing Run but instead hitting Haruna, where it proceeded to bite away at her swimsuit until it fell to the floor in shreds.

"Argh!" Haruna desperately tried to cover herself as the shark robot locked onto the nearest female and proceeded to strip her down.

"Sarenji-chan are you okay?" Rito ran towards her scream holding a towel which he gave to her.

"T-thanks," Haruna blushed.

"You're welcome," Rito looked away and rubbed the end of his nose, "It was my pleasure to help you."

"Yuuki-kun," Haruna smiled softly.

"TARGET LOCKED." The shark robot attacked Rito's shorts before continuing on its rampage.

"Kyaah!" Haruna screamed seeing the naked Rito before slapping him and running away.

"Haruna-chan…" Rito's shoulders slumped as he tried to cover himself.

Rito and Haruna were not the only ones to fall victim to the shark. Before long most of the class were missing their swimsuits and shorts as the shark robot continued its rampage.

"Uh oh," Lala blinked, "Stop shark-kun!"

"WARNING. TARGETING SENSORS MALFUNCTIONING. AUDIO CONTROLS MALFUNCTIONING. RESTRAINT PROTOCOLS MALFUNCTIONING."

"Lala…" Naruto scowled. "What the hell?"

"Sorry," Lala lowered her head, "I was angry with Run-chan so I wanted to scare her away but the robot I summoned is acting up."

"Right," Naruto cracked his knuckles, "I guess I'll have to catch it then!"

"TARGET LOCKED." The robot focused on Naruto.

"Best bring your A-Game," Naruto warned. "Else you'll be scrap metal!" He felt his aura appear.

"Naruto!" Lala called out, "Remember you have to call out your attack names!"

"Wait what?" Naruto turned to Lala. "Why?"

"Because it will be so cool!"

"Urgh," Naruto shook his head, "Fine if it makes you that happy I will!"

"Great!"

"So…" He turned to the shark robot that was eying his shorts hungrily, "Let's do this!"

The robot suddenly exploded into shards of metal.

"Er… I didn't do that," Naruto blinked.

"No… I did."

Naruto turned to face the newcomer who was pointing a finger at where the robot had been.

"Do I know you?" Naruto frowned.

"You should." The small figure focused on Naruto. "I am Gid Lucione Deviluke."

"Really?" Naruto crossed his arms. "You expect me to believe that the ruler of the galaxy is a little shrimp like you?"

"Papa?" Lala blinked, "What are you doing here?"

"…Crap," Naruto gulped.

"I have been waiting for you at your house," Gid grinned evilly. "I had this whole routine worked out where I would prevent to be a little innocent kid then would feel up some Earth girls and get you blamed for it," He looked at Naruto furiously. "Then you had the audacity to not be at home!"

"I'm sorry?"

"So you should be," Gid declared. "Anyway… I'm here for one reason and one reason only!"

"And that is?" Naruto asked.

"To assess your skills personally." Gid smirked evilly as he conjured a giant ball of red energy. "Dodge!"

"Wait there are innocents around!" Naruto protested.

"Meh," Gid shrugged dismissively, "What should I care if a few evolved monkeys get themselves killed?"

"Papa!" Lala crossed her arms. "They are my friends!"

"Fine, fine," Gid glared at the rest of the students. "You have ten seconds to get out of here before I start throwing energy balls!"

"God speed Manly Sage!" Kenichi saluted him before fleeing with the rest. Only two stayed behind with Naruto and Gid.

"Naruto," Kushina cracked her knuckles. "I've got your back!"

"Right!" Lala nodded. "I won't let Papa take me away!"

"Such disrespect," Gid sighed before seeming to teleport behind the two girls.

"Such speed!" Kushina tried to get away but was unable to block Gid's tail as it struck her on the neck knocking her out.

"Argh!" Lala twitched as a vibrating ring clipped on to her tail causing her to fall to her knees trembling.

"That should make things more interes… whoa!" He leaned back to avoid a furious punch from Naruto.

"Lala, Kushina… are you okay?" Naruto stood between the girls and Gid.

"I'll be okay," Lala struggled to stand.

"Take Kushina and get out of here," Naruto looked over his shoulder and smiled at Lala. "I'll be okay."

"Fine…" Lala struggled to pick up Kushina, "You'd better return to me."

"It's a promise of a lifetime," Naruto nodded. "I'm not going to die here. We have a whole future ahead of us."

"Bleh," Gid pulled a face. "This romance crap is really sickening you know?"

"Well that explains that," Naruto returned his attention to the ruler of the universe as Lala escaped with Kushina.

"What does?"

"Well clearly you have a napoleon complex. You act like a colossal jackass to try and make up for the fact you are vertically challenged and judging by what you just said you've never known love so you have become bitter and jaded when confronted with it."

"Love?" Gid laughed, "How long have you known Lala?"

"A couple of months," Naruto responded.

"And that makes you think that you are truly in love with her?" Gid shook his head, "Dark Repulsion!"

"What?" Naruto careered backwards as if struck by an invisible force. "Bastard!"

"Naruto Uzumaki," Gid crossed his arms, "I am not impressed."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto conjured his aura and extended his arm with the palm facing towards Gid and one of the two orbs hovering in front of his palm. "Er… Light Cannon!" The orb screamed towards Gid and detonated when it struck him. "Lala's right… that felt good. I really need to think up a better name for that attack though."

"Meh," The smoke from the attack cleared revealing a completely healthy Gid. "An attack as weak as that isn't enough to even ruffle my hair. Let me show you what a real attack looks like!" Gid raised a hand above his head with a single finger pointing at the sky. A small red sphere appeared which rapidly swelled in size until it was bigger than Gid. "Tyrant's Fury!" He roared as he threw the sphere towards Naruto.

"Son of a bitch!" Naruto yelled as he dived out of the way, the resulting explosion for the attack sent him skidding across the floor. A twelve foot deep crater marked the impact zone and was rapidly filling up with the pool water.

"I'll tell you what," Gid smirked as Naruto struggled to his feet. "If you can land a solid attack on me, I will leave you and Lala alone but should you fail to land an attack before I get bored of playing with you… I will destroy this entire planet and make you watch from space as your entire species is wiped out. Then I will marry Lala off to whomever I please and make you watch as they consummate their marriage. Then I will do the same with Nana and Momo. Only after all of that will I finally kill you."

"Fuck you," Naruto spat. "I promised I would kick your ass and I always keep my promises!"

"Well you're not doing a very good job so far," Gid floated slightly, "If you are trying to bore me to death though… good job so far," He gave Naruto a sarcastic thumbs up.

'Damn it,' Naruto frowned. 'I can only use one more Light Cannon attack and that doesn't seem to have any effect on him. I could try using the Light sword which would give me five minutes to try and land a decisive blow.'

"Let's see you dance boy!" Gid clicked his fingers and hundreds of small red spheres appeared around him. "Tyrant's Barrage!" The spheres rocketed towards Naruto in rapid succession who raced along the poolside as the ground behind him erupted in explosions, the last blast causing him to fall over.

"Damn you!" Naruto rolled and grabbed the one remaining orb, "Excalibur!" He yelled as the orb turned into a blade of light.

"Cute," Gid lifted his arm, "Once more with feeling… Tyrant's Fury!"

"Time for something crazy!" Naruto charged the attack and slashed the giant red energy sphere in half causing the two halves to divert and smash into the ground behind him. 'I've got you now!' Naruto thought as he charged towards Gid using the smokescreen from the deflected energy sphere to attack Gid's blind spot. His blade descended on Gid's neck when suddenly his lunge was stopped by the galactic emperor's tail wrapping around his wrists and hurling him into the pool.

"Ooh, you nearly got me that time!" Gid laughed. "Not."

"Damn it!" Naruto surfaced and clambered out of the pool, he had let go of the light blade when he was thrown and it had dispersed itself.

"It's that it?" Gid raised an eyebrow. "You get two attacks and you are finished? Why don't you use your full power?"

"What are you talking about?" Naruto spat.

"Your mother was Kurama was she not? That means you should have a Damus aura which would be far more useful in a one to one fight than that pale Arcangus imitation!"

"This aura is an Arcangus one?" Naruto blinked.

"An incomplete aura at that," Gid scowled. "If you are going to fight me use your full power!" He challenged, "Or just do me a favour and die! Tyrant's Barrage!"

Naruto cursed as the attacks hit all around him causing bits of the swimming pool to hit his arms and legs as he protected his vital areas. The smoke from the attack meant he was completely blinded and even if he could see he had used up both his attacks. As the dust began to clear Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh crap." He muttered as he stared at Gid's palm literally a few inches from his face.

"Yeah, you're finished." Gid smirked. "Tyrant Blast!" A small sphere appeared in Gid's hand and exploded outwards striking Naruto and sending him tumbling like a rag doll until he struck a wall and slowly slid down it, bleeding badly.

"D-damn… it…" Naruto groaned as his vision blurred and Gid walked up to him. "S…Sorry… Lala…" He muttered as he lost consciousness.

* * *

The students had all evacuated and were gathered in the car park of the swimming pool, flinching as a group when another explosion sounded.

"Just what is Naruto fighting in there?" Rito wondered.

"Papa," Lala was sat with Kushina's head on her lap. "Naruto promised he would return to me though so… I'm… I'm not worried." Her face and body language disagreed with her statement.

"Lala-chi," Risa sat down next to her and put her arm around her. "It's going to be alright," She whispered as Lala returned the hug. "That loveable blonde idiot of yours isn't the kind of person to be killed off that easily. You mark my words he'll be fine."

"I can't do this," Yui shook her head furiously.

"Yui-chan?" Lala blinked.

"I can't stand here knowing Naruto is in trouble," She started running towards the swimming pool. "Too many times I have done nothing when Naruto needed me… well not this time!"

"Wait Yui-chan!" Lala tried to get up to stop her but Kushina wrapped her arms around her and with the vibrating ring sapping her of her strength, all she could do was sit and watch. "Please Naruto…" She whispered watching Yui run. "Keep both yourself and Yui-chan safe."

* * *

"Ouch," Naruto remarked as he found himself floating in his mindscape. "… Did I just die?"

"Nope!"

"Oh great…" Naruto turned to see a smiling mint haired alien. "Hello Fu."

"Hello Naru-kun!" Fu waved energetically. "It seems Chibi-kun is kicking your ass!"

"I hadn't noticed," Naruto replied his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Probably because you took a few hits to the head," Fu nodded. "Believe me it was pretty obvious to anyone who didn't have a concussion. That's Gid for you though! He believes mortal peril is the best way to bring out a person's best!"

"I…" Naruto sighed, "Never mind. I don't suppose you know a way that I could fight him?"

"Well…" Fu looked thoughtful. "You could always open up your seal somewhat."

"And become a mindless berserker?"

"Only if you opened it fully," Fu shook her head. "If you partially opened it you might be able to access some of your devilukian powers."

"How would I do that?" Naruto asked.

"Follow Fu-neechan!" The mint haired alien lead Naruto deeper into his mindscape until he came across the two statues that he remembered seeing in his last visit here. "This is the representation of your auras: an angel and a demon." She looked at Naruto, "Or an Arcangus and a Damus."

The two statues were in a bad state, missing hands and wings and bound in chains. Any features on them were faded away. Naruto circled the statues and realised there were plaques at the bases but the words were badly faded.

"Now then!" Fu clapped her hands. "Do you know how the spirits are inherited?"

"I think Lala told me that you always get one if your parents had one."

"Correct at least for the Damus Seals," Fu nodded eagerly. "Only Devilukians can get them and even if none of your parents had one if your genes are good you could still receive a Damus spirit shard while you are in the womb! More than one devilukean can have the same Damus seal as the Damus shattered their souls before whatever event wiped them out. Arcangus are different though."

"Go on," Naruto crossed his arms.

"There are seven Arcangus souls in existence and only one person can hold their power at a time. A female Arcangus soul carrier will lose her powers to her first born child. Should an Arcangus soul carrier die, she or he can either pass the soul onto a nearby person or release it to find a new host by itself."

"Wait… where did I get my Arcangus soul from?"

"Your father."

"I see…" Naruto closed his eyes. "So even after his death he is still protecting me."

"Ooh!" Fu's eyes sparkled. "I hadn't thought of it like that! Now then, your aura is basically you channelling the power of your Arcangus spirit. As Chibi-chan said your Arcangus aura is incomplete. It is your feelings for the princesses that are giving you the strength to call upon the power locked inside of you but seeing as you are sealed you can't fully form it."

"So… I am powered by love," Naruto groaned. "Lala will just adore that."

"Only partially," Fu pointed to the devil statue, "You also have a Damus spirit, which usually responds better to negative emotions like rage or lust. But that spirit is sealed away and the seal I designed is stopping you from calling on its power but you could adjust it to allow access to some of its power."

"So… what do I do?"

"Well the chains are symbolic of the seal," Fu pointed out. "All you have to do is break the chains."

Naruto took one of the chains in his hand. It was badly rusted but still looked quite strong. "How will I know when I have reached my limit?"

"I don't know." Fu laughed.

"Is there a representation of the seal on my mind in this place?"

"It's not time for you to remember yet," Fu scolded him. "I promised you and your mother I wouldn't let you remember until it was time!"

"Wait… you promised me?"

"Yeah," Fu nodded sagely. "You were quite adamant that I not unseal you until you'd had a chance to… oops!" Fu stuck her tongue out. "Spoilers!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes but said no more before snapping the chain he was holding. "Should I feel different?"

"Wait a second."

Naruto cried out in agony as his entire body erupted into flames.

"There you go! Don't worry the pain is just your body being genetically altered as some of your devilukian DNA manages to re-integrate itself. Now remember while the Arcangus were powered by their willingness to protect those they hold dear… the Damus were selfish and only cared about themselves. Anger and other baser emotions are what empowered them!"

These words were little comfort to Naruto who felt as every part of his was being electrocuted. Even his eyelashes hurt and Naruto was pretty sure that was impossible.

* * *

Yui crept into the swimming pool only to find Naruto unconscious.

"Naruto!" She ran over to him and wiped some of the blood from his face, "Please Naruto! Don't die!"

"Who are you?"

Yui turned around to see Gid, who had squatted down on a pile of debris and was simply staring at the unconscious Naruto.

"I won't let you harm him!" Yui stood between Naruto and Gid.

"And what exactly would you plan to do?"

"I'd…" Yui picked up a half brick. "I'll hit you with this!"

"Oh?" Gid seemingly teleported in front of her and grabbed her wrist. "And now what will you do?"

"I…" Yui faltered.

"Let… her… go…" Naruto groaned as he stood up.

"Oh sleeping beauty has awoken." Gid wrapped his tail around Yui's neck and lifted her up into the air, tightening his grip and choking her. "I think I'll kill this one. Maybe that will make you actually fight."

"I said…" Naruto focused on his anger remembering what Fu had told him. "LET HER GO!" His body erupted in a crimson energy.

"Heh," Gid smirked. "So you have finally decided to tap into your power?"

"That's right," Naruto glared at Gid. "Now let Yui-chan go!"

"Or what exactly?" Gid raised a hand to the air. "You are at my mercy boy! Tyrant's Fury!"

"Kawarimi!" Naruto instinctively yelled and found himself swapping places with a lump of debris that was completely obliterated by Gid's attack.

"That wasn't speed," Gid remarked. "How did you do that?"

"Hell if I know," Naruto blinked. 'How did I do that? I remember focusing on the rubble and next thing I knew… wait a second!" He held out his arm and focused, grinning as a red orb started to form in his hand before starting to slowly grow. "Awesome…" He locked eyes with Yui. "Don't worry… I will save you Yui-chan."

"You're all talk," Gid smirked.

"Really," Naruto focused on Yui and tried to recreate the sensation he had felt earlier. "Kawarimi!"

"What?" Gid blinked as he found himself facing Yui. There was no sign of her or Naruto moving, just one moment he was there, the next she was there. He glanced at his tail and saw Naruto had swapped places with her. "You fool! Now I am choking you! How does this help at all?"

"Naruto!" Yui cried out.

"Just as planned," Naruto grinned as he placed his palm facing Gid, the crimson sphere now the size of a bowling ball.

"Oh… clever buy," Gid grinned.

"Crimson Cannon!" Naruto choked out as he thrust his palm at Gid, launching the crimson sphere in a point blank attack that exploded obscuring Yui's view of Gid and Naruto.

"Naruto!" She screamed.

"Not bad for a complete idiot but still not quite good enough," Gid shook his head as the smoke cleared. While he appeared relatively fine, his clothes were badly damaged from the attack. Naruto was in a similar state but was struggling to breathe due to Gid's tail strangling him.

"You said... all I had to do was land a hit..." Naruto choked out. "I'd class that as a good solid hit."

"You put yourself in a disadvantaged position in order to land an attack on me?" Gid laughed as he released Naruto from his tail. "I think I'm starting to like you boy!"

"I still hate you though," Naruto fell to his knees.

"Naruto!" Yui raced over to where Gid had dropped our hero.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked whilst rubbing his throat.

"That's my line, idiot," Yui smiled softly.

"If you are well enough to call me names I guess that means you are fine." Naruto got back to his feet. "Man this place is really messed up."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Er Gid's?"

"Like hell it is!" Gid crossed his arms.

"You could have fought him elsewhere!" Yui pointed out to Naruto.

"Well he was the one who attacked me!"

"If you two could put this lover's squabble to one side," Gid cleared his throat.

"We aren't lovers!" Yui snapped at Gid.

"Sure as hell look like it," Gid remarked. "I mean if you want to start making out then I'm fine with that but…Hey!" He yelled as he dodged a half brick Yui threw at him. "What's the big idea?!" Another brick dodged. "You know what? Screw you guys! I don't have to put up with this abuse!" Gid disappeared in a flash of light.

"Yui-chan…" Naruto blinked.

"What?"

"Did… did you just chase off the emperor of the galaxy?!"

Yui paused. "He was being so… shameless!"

"Yui-chan…" Naruto started laughing and hugged Yui causing her to squeak. "Never change."

"N-Naruto!" Yui blushed as the others re-entered the swimming pool, cheering at Earth's victory.

* * *

Aboard his spaceship Gid walked up to his throne grinning madly before removing his hand from his hip and looking at it.

"It's been a while since you've bled hasn't it Chibi-chan?" A cheerful and childish voice called out.

"Yeah," Gid chuckled darkly. "I think that means I can stop holding back. It's time to send in the big guns!"

"I'd give Naru-chan a bit of time to master his new abilities first!"

"Yeah," Gid reluctantly conceded to the cheerful voice. "I suppose he's earned a brief rest." Gid chuckled darkly, "Before things really get interesting!"

* * *

The rest of the day had gone relatively quickly. While the police had shown up to investigate the explosions they had gone away pretty quickly having just put it down as a terrorist attack. The students had instead walked around the town as originally planned where was Naruto went back to the hotel to sleep.

When he finally awoke it was still early in the afternoon and the rest of the students were still at school.

He awoke feeling better than he had done for a while, as if he could take on the world. Everything felt so much more… vibrant. It was as if his already impressive senses had improved somehow. He inhaled and could taste Lala's presence next to him. It was strange.

"Ah!" Lala beamed as Naruto opened his eyes to look at her, "You're awake!"

"Lala," Naruto turned to his side to face her, "Why aren't you with the others? If the hotel owner catches you in here she will probably cause a fuss!"

"Yui-chan told me what happened," Lala frowned, "I didn't think Papa would cause so much trouble but he always goes overboard. If I knew he was willing to nearly kill you I would have stayed behind even if I was… incapacitated." She pouted. "I was really having fun as well!"

"I guess we'll have to go swimming on another date." Naruto chuckled. "So that's ice skating and swimming."

"Right!" Lala clapped her hands together. "That brings me to Yui-chan's date!"

"Oh that," Naruto smiled. "I was thinking that I would take her to the movies then we would go to the café we went to before."

"Rejected!" Lala stuck her tongue out.

"Huh?"

"Well… I may have made a little bet with Yui-chan," Lala looked guilty. "I said you would make her heart go doki doki boom!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Basically she will feel really light headed and her heart will be beating so heavily it will feel like it is about to tear out of her chest. She'll know in that moment that she truly loves you. Then we can all be happy together!"

"And how do I do that?"

"Just be yourself," Lala smiled. "She obviously likes you but she is so stubborn," she pouted cutely.

"That's rich coming from you," Naruto pointed out. "Wasn't it your stubbornness that eventually won me over?"

"Hmm…" Lala tilted her head, "But my stubbornness was because I knew that I loved you and I wanted you! Her stubbornness is because she loves you and wants you but doesn't think it would be right for her to have you. They are completely different!"

"I'll take your word for it." Naruto chuckled.

"This is serious!" Lala exclaimed," Because if you don't… we have to break up!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked. 'I don't remember that being mentioned last night!'

"I have faith in you so that's why I made that bet," Lala smiled at him. "So… don't lose okay? I have the perfect plan!" She reached under Naruto's pillow and pulled out two tickets. "These are the prize that I won yesterday! They are two tickets for some sort of ball even thingy."

"The valentine ball?" Naruto blinked reading the tickets.

"Hai!" Lala smiled. "What better way to get her to go Doki Doki Boom?!"

"I see," Naruto looked at the tickets. "But this is your prize, you earned it."

"Muu…" Lala frowned. "Well you could trade me for it."

"And what do you want as a trade?"

"For you never to leave me," Lala replied honestly.

"Idiot," Naruto smiled at her, "I never had any intention of leaving you."

"You always know just what to say to make my heart go crazy," Lala smiled lovingly at him. "I love you."

"Lala," Naruto drew her face closer to his. "I love you too." He kissed her lightly on the lips but as he pulled away she pulled him back, starting a tongue duel with Naruto.

"Naruto…" She pulled away from him smiling. "You said you love me."

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled. "I did."

"Good…" Lala rolled Naruto over and sat atop of him, straddling his waist.

"Lala…" Naruto blushed and looked away. "You're naked."

"Look at me," Lala turned his head to look at her again. "I don't mind if you look at me."

"You really are beautiful," Naruto remarked.

* * *

**LEMON MOVED TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS CHAPTER TO PREVENT ACCIDENTAL READING OF IT.  
**

* * *

"I can feel you inside me…So warm…" Lala muttered, "I'm definitely going to be pregnant."

"My seal stops that apparently."

"Shame," Lala snuggled into Naruto's chest.

"That… that was amazing…Where did you learn that?"

"I found it in the books you were hiding under your floorboards before your house was destroyed."

"Gah," Naruto flinched. "You found those huh?"

"Hai," Lala nodded. "We still have so many things to try out…" She idly trailed a pattern on Naruto's chest. "But we will have plenty of time for that later."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded with a smile.

_**'Well… Congrats there boyo. You're a man!'** _The dark voice chuckled inside his head. It sounded more… feminine than usual. If a voice could sound like silk and chocolate with the promise of whips and chains, this is what it would sound like.

'Who are you?' Naruto asked as he watched Lala fall to sleep.

_**'I am Lust of course.'**_

'Lust?'

**_'Well… I am the Damus of Lust anyway. Can you guess my name?'_**

'Er… Let's see… If I remember rightly the demon associated with Lust was… Asmodeus?"

_**'That's right spawn of Deviluke. My name is Asmodea. We will meet face to face soon…'**_ And with that the voice seemed to sliver away into the dark recesses of Naruto's mind.

"Huh," Naruto sighed. "That kind of explains a lot," He muttered as he toyed with Lala's hair.

"…Ecchi."

"Yami-chan?!" Naruto quickly covered Lala and himself with the quilt.

"Onii-sama is ecchi," There was the sound of a blade being swung through the air.

"Wait!" Naruto scowled. "That wasn't ecchi!"

"It wasn't?" A hair blade froze literally inches from Naruto's face.

"See… Lala and I love each other," Naruto smiled softly, "Doing things like that are just a physical representation of our love. There is nothing wrong with that."

"…I see…" The blade retracted into a shadow on the ceiling. "So that wasn't ecchi?"

"Well…" Naruto rubbed his chin, "It kind of was but… not in a bad way."

"There is good ecchi?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Hm…" Yami's voice somehow sounded doubtful without actually changing its tone. "This bares further research."

"Right," Naruto nodded.

"I will monitor you and come to a conclusion on your theory." Yami stated.

"…Won't I get a moments alone time?"

"No." Yami responded simply.

"Great," Naruto sighed heavily causing Lala to pout in her sleep as he disturbed her. "Sorry," He chuckled as he brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Love you Naruto," Lala mumbled in her sleep.

"I love you too." Naruto whispered.

* * *

"How… how did this happen?" Jiraiya fell to his knees as he beheld his ruined swimming pool. "I had plans… all those hidden cameras destroyed!" He clenched his fists and yelled at the sky, "WHY YOU BASTARDS?! WHY DID YOU DESTROY AN OLD MAN'S DREAMS?! ALL THOSE HOT YOUNG GIRLS IN SWIMSUITS AND NOW… I'LL NEVER GET TO WATCH THEM FROLICK AND MAKE OUT IN THE CHANGING ROOMS!"

"You haven't changed a bit have you?" There was a chuckle as he turned to see a bemused girl wearing what looked like a witch's cosplay.

"Kyouko-chan!" Jiraiya dived towards her, "Please dress up in a school swimsuit for me!"

"Denied!" With a click of her fingers she set the old pervert on fire. "Is that the reason you called me here?"

"Oh," Jiraiya recovered from his depression (and third degree burns) instantly. "You were shooting a movie nearby right?"

"Right," Kyouko nodded.

"I was going to introduce you to your cousin again. I mean how long has it been since you've seen Naruto?"

"Too long," Kyouko smiled. "I never really thanked him for getting me into acting."

"Unfortunately… things happened," He glanced sadly at the ruined swimming pool, "So it looks like you missed your chance. I can give you his address if you'd like."

"Sure," Kyouko nodded. "I might drop by next time I have a chance to catch up with him."

"Great," Jiraiya handed her a card. "Now if you'll excuse me," he pulled a phone out. "I have some phone calls to make. Hope my insurance covers damage by alien overlords." He laughed.

"Right," Kyouko walked away with the card smiling fondly. She remember when she had last seen Naruto

Flash Back!

_"Kyo-chan!" A nine year old Naruto clutched her dress. "Can't you stay?"_

_"Sorry Nar-chan," An equally young Kyouko shook her head. "Papa says I have to go to the big city if I want to pursue my acting career…"_

_"Aww…" Naruto sniffled, "I'll miss you but if you want to be an actress I won't stop you. I'll be waiting to watch you on TV!"_

_"I'll miss you too!" She hugged him, "But let's make a promise!"_

_"A promise?" Naruto tilted his head._

_"Yes… I'll become a big TV star and you'll be a brave hero!"_

_"Right!"_

_"And when we both succeed we'll meet up again…" Kyouko blushed._

End Flashback

"And get married," Kyouko chucked softly finishing her trip down memory lane with a smile.

* * *

LEMON STARTS HERE. IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE OR DO NOT WISH TO READ THE LEMON DO NOT GO PAST THIS POINT. THERE IS NOTHING BUT LEMONS BEYOND HERE.

Thank you

"Touch me," Lala picked up Naruto's hand and place it on her breast, earning a soft moan as he gently squeezed.

"So soft…" Naruto murmured. "I know you could probably crush me if you tried… yet you always looks so pure and innocent, you feel so soft and welcoming…"

"Naruto," Lala moaned softly as he began to tease her nipples.

"Gods above I want you so badly," He whispered.

"Then take me," Lala smiled at him.

"But what if I lose control…"

"Like you said," Lala laid down and whispered in Naruto's ear, "I am strong enough to look after myself. Would it make you happier if I used the order you promised to make you have sex with me?"

"I'd forgotten about that," Naruto chuckled weakly.

"Naruto… I've decided on the order," Lala smiled sweetly at him, "My command is this: Don't be afraid of what might happen, have more faith in yourself and in me."

"Really…" Naruto chuckled. "You could have ordered me to do anything and you choose that? You could have had me marry you, ravish you or be your loyal slave."

"You will marry me," Lala smiled. "But only when you are ready. You will ravish me because you want to and I have no use for a slave."

"Then I guess I'm not good for you," Naruto sighed dramatically.

"Why?" Lala tilted her head with a confused expression.

"Because I am already enslaved by you," Naruto grinned.

"I love you!" Lala proclaimed and kissed Naruto passionately, who eagerly returned the kiss and rolled her over so she laid beneath him, a healthy red blush on her face.

"Only you could love such a cheesy line," Naruto whispered as he kissed her neck while he massaged her breasts, teasing her nipples and extracting the sweetest moans from Lala.

"Only because it was you that said it," Lala moaned as one of Naruto's hands left her breast and started slowly heading towards her womanhood, teasing her with its slow winding path. The now unattended breast was attacked by Naruto's mouth, nibbling and kissing her delicately.

"Naruto!" Lala gasped, "Please stop teasing me..."

_**'She wants it… Why do you resist… Oh… You're not… Er… Yeah… I feel kind of surplus to requirements… erm… Have fun? I guess I'll just hang around or something…'**_The dark voice in the back of Naruto's head sounded mildly surprised, not that Naruto was even paying it the slightest bit of attention. Lala demanded his full attention right now.

Her erotic moans were driving him mad and his enhanced senses could pick up the sweat scent of her excitement. If the dark voice was trying to convince him to have his way with her, he couldn't hear it over the sound of his heart beating and the burning desire that coursed through his veins. His manly weapon was erect and ready to be plunged into Lala's weak spot but he resisted the urge. He wanted to make Lala feel good before he satisfied himself.

"As you wish my princess," Naruto's fingers traced the edge of her moist entrance, toying with her clitoris earning a delighted squeal from Lala.

"Naruto…" She looked at him with eyes hazy with desire, "Please… make me yours."

"Lala," He released her nipple from his mouth and lowered his gaze to her shaved womanhood. "Are you sure you want this?"

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life," She smiled before arching back as Naruto penetrated her with two fingers.

"Strange… do devilukians not have a hymen?"

"What's that?" Lala gasped as Naruto explored her most secret areas with his fingers, slipping them in and out of her and causing more sounds of pleasure from Lala to mix with the erotic noises of his actions.

"It's something virgin girls have," Naruto stated as he increased the speed of his ministrations, feeling her inner walls clamp around his fingers as she let out an ecstatic cry.

"NARUTO!" She screamed as her body twitched as if she were being electrocuted. "I am a virgin… you are the first and only man to have me like this." She watched as Naruto licked his drenched fingers.

"You taste amazing," Naruto smiled at her.

"Naruto…" Lala rolled so she once again laid atop of Naruto. "You're a big meanie."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"I wanted you to fill me with your seed," Lala pouted seductively. "My research into humans says you have to use a different appendage for that."

"Er…" Naruto watched as Lala started kissing his stomach and made her way down to his boxers. "Lala?"

"Shh," Lala smiled at him, "I want to make you feel good now."

"You do that just by looking at me with that loving expression in your eyes."

"Heh," Lala slowly removed his boxers. "Is this size usual for humans?"

"Er…" Naruto blushed as he felt Lala's breath on his sacred weapon, "I think it is slightly larger than average… at least that's what I've been told."

"I see," Lala grabbed his shaft earning a gasp of pain from Naruto.

"Be gentle," Naruto grimaced.

"Ah, sorry," Lala looked guilty. "Momo leant me books but I guess reading and doing are two different things."

"You don't have to force yourself…" Naruto started.

"No!" Lala looked determined. "As your bride I need to be able to pleasure you!" She loosened her grip. "Is this better?"

"Yeah," Naruto gasped as she started to run her hand up and down his length.

"Ooh…" Lala smiled as she saw a white liquid slowly leak out of his length, "This must be the pre-cum Momo mentioned," Lala took the tip of Naruto's penis into her mouth and began gently sucking as she continued her work on the shaft.

"Lala…" Naruto groaned as the pleasurable sensation flooded his body.

"Naruto…" Lala paused in her ministrations, "Are you a 'booby' man?"

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"Does this appeal to you?" Lala enveloped Excalibur in her breasts and started to rub them up and down along Naruto's twitching length.

"Yes," Naruto gasped as Lala continued to please Naruto. The feeling of her supple breasts enveloping and massaging his cock was causing him to go light headed. "Lala… I'm… I'm reaching my limit!"

"It's okay… shower me with your love." Lala increased her pace.

"Argh!" Naruto groaned as the stimulation became too much for him to handle and he shot his load all over Lala's face and breasts. "Ah sorry!"

"Hmm." Lala wiped her breasts and face with her hands before licking them clean, "This is Naruto's flavour," She smiled at Naruto. "I love it."

"Lala," Naruto leaned towards her, his lower body rapidly recovering after such an erotic display. "Can I…"

"Of course," Lala laid on her back on spread her legs. "I'm all yours."

"And I am yours," Naruto smiled as he rubbed her moist entrance with his tip while his free hand massaged her left breast, teasing her nipples and gently massaging the soft mounds earning a chorus of erotic noises from the devilukian.

"Naruto…" Lala groaned. "Stop teasing me."

"Right…" Naruto positioned himself, "I love you Lala."

"And I love YOU!" Lala cried out in pleasure as Naruto thrust deep inside of her.

"Gargh," Naruto groaned as her inner walls enveloped his tool, squeezing him tightly as if trying to milk him dry. "Gods…" He panted as he started to withdraw slowly earning a disappointed whine from Lala that was replaced by another ecstatic scream as he thrust back inside her.

"So deep…" Lala moaned, "I never knew how good sex could be…"

"I'm glad you are enjoying it," Naruto whispered as he increased the pace of his thrust. "I want to make you feel as good as I am feeling!"

"Yes!" Lala wrapped her legs around Naruto and forced him deeper inside of her, it felt as if he was going to penetrate her womb but Lala didn't care. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.

"I'm almost there…" Naruto groaned.

"Not yet!" Lala rolled him over and sat atop him, bouncing up and down on Naruto's cock, her breast bouncing hypnotically as she rode her way to an orgasm. "This is too good!" She cried out.

"Lala!" Naruto grabbed her waist and lifted his hips in time to Lala's. "I can't last much longer!"

"We have to come together!" Lala increased her speed, lost in the pleasure and oblivious to Naruto's struggles.

"Damn…" Naruto knew he couldn't last much longer and grabbed her tail, causing shivers throughout her body and a delightful gasp of pleasure from the pink haired alien.

"Naruto!" Lala cried out as he continued to stroke her tail whilst thrusting deep inside her special place and he brought her tail to his mouth and gave it a long lick. "I'm coming!" She cried before kissing Naruto deeply, her inner walls clenching around Naruto's member with such force he never stood a chance and as he thrust into her one final time, he released a flood of his seed deep inside Lala whose entire body seemed to twitch as if an electric shock had gone through it.

They laid there panting gently, Naruto's sword buried deep within her sacred garden. His hands caressing her rear and her back gently while she wrapped her arms around him, holding on dearly as if he were her only lifeline lost at sea.

* * *

**Citrusy Goodness has Ended!**


	14. Chapter 14: Cinderella

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everybody! This chapter took a little longer than anticipated due to personal reasons so I apologise for that.

The next chapter of Devilukean Edition is almost finished and Ninja Pirate is well on its way.

I've also been thinking of writing a Naruto Highschool DxD crossover one shot kind of thing. The plot bunny has been stuck in my head and keeps interfering with my other stories so hopefully writing it down will clear it away.

There is a song in this chapter. I've decided each of the first dates will have a song associated with it, Lala's was Shinedown's Miracle. This one is So Close by John McLaughlin.

A NEW POLL!

This time I have a poll with several story lines that will take place in this story. THe order of which I haven't decided on so you can vote for the story line you wish to read first. It's that simple. Only one vote per person though so... without further ado

Special Thanks to my Beta Shinnagami who saved you all from a cliffhanger ending that I was going to use because I am an evil bastard at times.

Disclaimer: You get the point.

* * *

Chapter 14: Cinderella

Naruto awoke with a soft smile as he beheld the familiar scene of his own bedroom. Lala was snuggled against him with a soft smile, occasionally mumbling his name in her sleep. The twins were on Naruto's chest as usual and for once Nana wasn't moving around too much. Kushina was drooling with a perverted grin as she too dreamed of something pleasant (although Naruto was sure he didn't want to know exactly what she was dreaming of).

"Morning," Naruto whispered as he disentangled himself from the girls before pausing to glance at the ceiling. "Good morning Yami-chan."

"Good morning Onii-sama," Yami's monotone sounded from the shadows.

"I have a good feeling about today." Naruto stretched out and entered his bathroom, turning the shower on and sighing happily as he stepped inside and felt the hot water do its work soothing out his sore muscles. Since he had gotten back from the school trip he had spent most of his time in the danger room as Lala called it. With the seal on his body slightly opened it seemed that he had the ability to regenerate his orbs in the Arcangus aura state, although it required him to remain perfectly still for some time to gather the energy. While he still only had his Light Cannon and Excalibur attacks, he had mastered them to the point he could use them on instinct.

Personally he felt his training was coming along nicely, even if there were… strange side effects of using his Damus aura. Such side effects included increased appetite, rage and sex drive. After using the Damus aura for more than ten minutes he had to take a cold shower lest he lose control and end up having his way with the women in his house, not that they would object Naruto supposed but call him old fashioned, he thought that sex should be based on romance and not just lust.

Since his relationship with Lala went to the next level, the two of them had been spending more time together. Usually this was just Lala talking to him while he trained in the danger room but they had been on a couple of dates in preparation for what Momo called Operation Harem Expansion or as he called it, his date with Yui.

The date was riding heavily on Naruto's mind and not just because it was a date with Yui. The fact that Lala had bet their relationship had kind of annoyed Naruto. Sure it showed she had confidence in Naruto but he would never risk their relationship. Plus he was pretty sure that hadn't been mentioned when he had been (accidentally) eavesdropping on the girls which meant Lala was trying to manipulate him. While he knew she thought she was doing him a favour it still annoyed Naruto slightly but he did love her and he knew he would forgive her. That didn't mean he couldn't make her realise that what she did was wrong.

Then there was Yui-chan herself. Naruto had a sinking feeling that Yui's boyfriend was just someone she had gone out with as Naruto had started dating Lala and she wanted a distraction from that. When questioned about the boyfriend Yui always looked upset which was not a good thing in Naruto's eyes. Was her boyfriend blackmailing her to make her date him? Was she not happy? If she was happy then she wouldn't have accepted the date would she?

"My brain hurts," Naruto muttered.

"Don't use a muscle you're not used to using then," Momo's voice sounded from behind him as he felt her breasts push against his back. "I know quite a few muscles that are far more… pleasurable to use."

"Good morning Momo," Naruto closed his eyes and tried to ignore Momo's soft mounds pressing into his back.

"Good morning," Momo wrapped her hands around him and hugged him tight. "I had the most pleasant dream."

"Yeah?" Naruto replied distantly.

"You were in it," Momo purred. "And there was a bed."

"Oh?" Naruto's eyes widened as her hands started to snake down his stomach.

"I don't wish to rush you," Momo whispered into his ear, "But please have sex with Onee-sama. I don't think I can hold back much longer."

"I'll… see…" Naruto mumbled. He had asked Lala to keep the level their relationship had gotten to a secret as he wasn't sure how the others would take it. Well that wasn't true, he knew how some would take it and he wasn't looking forward to fighting off Momo and Kushina once they realised he was now fair game. Kushina's advances before had been tiring but at least then she never went too far as she was willing to wait for Naruto to reach sexual maturity. Now it looked like he had and she would be relentless and Momo had made it perfectly clear that Lala got his virginity but once that was taken Naruto was ripe for the taking.

_**'I don't get it. Why don't you just turn around and jab your 'Excalibur' in her? She wants it and you want it. Then you can go out there and spread your lust with all the girls!'**_

_'Good morning to you too Asmodea,'_ Naruto thought. Now that the dark thoughts had a name he was slightly relieved. It meant that he wasn't slowly losing himself to the Delta berserker side of him, he was just hearing the spirit of a long dead alien species which now he thought about it was still pretty worrying._ 'I… When I do make love to her I want it to be right. I know Momo believes that love is all about pleasure but I feel there is a more… spiritual side to love. I want her to understand that before we have… you know.'_

_**'Oh come on!'**_ Asmodea snorted, **_'You're not a virgin anymore. Say it with me… Sex, sex, sex!"_**

Naruto tuned out the madly chanting voice before returning his attention to Momo. "I promise… I will take my relationships to the next level but there are things that need to be done first."

"What like?" Momo asked, "If I can help…"

"Sorry but it is kind of personal," Naruto broke the hug and kissed Momo on the forehead. "I have to get ready for the date."

"Right," Momo smiled softly as she watched Naruto, "Do you want some condoms?"

"I am not going to have sex with Yui on our date," Naruto sighed. "Besides I wouldn't need them. The seal keeps me infertile right?"

"Yeah I may have lied about that." Momo crossed her arms. "It only affects females."

"Is that so?" Naruto replied calmly.

"Yeah," Momo stretched giving Naruto a pleasant sight before she smiled at him. "So I would definitely wear a condom. Giving your part devilukian genetics you are practically guaranteed to fertilise a woman, even it is one of her safe days. Your sperm will just hang around her womb until an egg arrives."

"Seriously?"

"Unless you had sex with a devilukian of course," Momo smiled.

"That's good to know," Naruto smiled.

"Female devilukians (present company excluded) are always ovulating. Our species has a ridiculously high birth rate."

"So if I had sex with another devilukian female they'd definitely get pregnant?"

"Yes," Momo grinned. "Why is something the matter?"

"Oh no. Just curious."

"But you don't have to worry about that with me. So long as I have the seal on I cannot be impregnated."

"I know," Naruto smiled at her, "And I promised to help find a way for you to not have to wear that seal anymore."

Momo stared intently at Naruto. "Well that didn't work."

"What?"

"I… I was trying to get some sort of reaction out of you."

"Why?"

"When we came home from the trip, Onee-sama was practically glowing. You have been spending a fair bit of time together and we've all noticed how you two seem closer. I… I wanted to trick you into revealing that you and Lala had sex. I… I had hoped that was the case. Although admittedly everything I said was the truth accept the seal part. You are infertile while you wear it." _'I don't know what happened since all of my drones that were following you and Lala were destroyed shortly after Lala volunteered to help you recover from your wounds.'_

"Er…" Naruto slowly backed away from Momo. "Well our relationship is a bit closer than before that is true but…"

"Naruto," Momo stopped. "Does the thought of having sex with me disgust you so?"

"What? Of course not!" Naruto put his hands on her shoulders, "Look Momo, I would love to have sex with you but there are things that I need to do first. I need you to be a little more patient okay?"

"Naruto…" Momo smiled, "I didn't hear anything after 'I would love to have sex with you.'"

"I said…" He was cut off by Momo capturing his lips.

"What's going on here?!" Kushina growled as she stepped into the bathroom wearing only her bra and panties.

"Kushina," Naruto managed to get away from a pouting Momo. "Good morning."

"Don't you good morning me!" Kushina crossed her arms forcing her breasts up (which Kushina was pleased to notice caught Naruto's attention briefly). "I wake up to give you a good morning kiss only to find you fooling around with this little girl!"

"Little girl?" Momo blinked.

"Of course," Kushina grinned triumphantly. "At least compared to me. And we all know that Naruto is a boobs man."

"I don't believe Lala told you that!" Naruto blushed.

"Told us what?"

"…Er nothing," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Oh? So you've played with Lala's breasts huh?" Kushina chuckled darkly. "Well if that's the case it is my duty as a woman to show you the true power of breasts!" She threw aside her bra, delighting in the brief look Naruto took before his self-control established itself.

"Why are all you udder women blabbing about your damn cow breasts?!" Nana joined the bathroom debate wearing pyjamas with various space animals on them. "There is more to a woman's charm than mere lumps of fat! There's no way Naruto would love someone just because they have large breasts!"

"But which does he prefer?" Kushina smirked. "I guess we will just need to ask Naruto about that?"

"Right!" The three girls stared at Naruto intensely.

"Seriously?" Naruto sighed. "While I may like breasts it isn't something that would make or break my decision to go out with a girl."

"So if I had no breasts you'd still like me?" Lala walked into the bathroom.

"Of course I would," Naruto smiled at her.

"S-so you like my body… as it is?" Nana asked softly.

"Of course," Naruto ruffled her hair.

"Even though I will be stuck in this form?"

"Pardon?"

"I…" Nana looked at the floor. "My body will always be like this. That is my flaw."

"It doesn't bother me in the slightest." Naruto smiled at her softly. "Nana is Nana after all."

"So you are a lolicon then," Momo pointed out.

"Hey!" Naruto pulled a face at Momo, "I am not a lolicon. If I was then why would I be dating Lala?"

"Because she has a child's personality?" Momo offered. "And she has a cute, flat sister?"

"So you could be attacked by cute loli assassins?" Nana decided not to rise to her sister's taunting.

"Cute loli assassins?" Kushina blinked.

"That would be Yami-chan," Naruto sighed. "Yami can you show yourself?"

"Yes."

There was a brief silence.

"Well?" Naruto asked.

"I am perfectly capable of the aforementioned task." Yami stated.

"I meant…" Naruto shook his head, "Never mind, will you please show yourself."

"As you wish." Yami seemed to appeared in a flicker in the middle of the room.

"Wow…" Kushina smiled. "You are cute… you look a lot like Naruto too. Like you're his little sister or something!"

"Naruto is my Onii-sama," Yami stated, "I have to monitor him to see if he is ecchi or not."

Kushina Vision

"I have to protect my Onii-sama from the mean girls!" Yami pouted cutely. "Only Kushina-chan can be with my onii-sama! The others are yucky," She stuck her tongue out.

Reality Restored.

"SHE'S SO CUTE!" Kushina declared as she enveloped the little girl in a hug, who just accepted it without any signs of emotion. "Wait a second if you are Naruto's little sister and you look like him… did Minato have an affair with someone?!" She charged out of the bathroom, carrying Yami under her arm like a disinterested carpet.

Naruto quickly got dressed and headed down into the living area, where Kushina was demanding an explanation from the shrine, which just hovered in silence.

"She's not my actual sister!" Naruto sighed. "I kind of… adopted her."

"Oh…" Kushina looked embarrassed. "Well that's okay then. I know our relationship wasn't the best but he could have at least let me know if he was having an affair. I wouldn't have minded so much."

"What? Wasn't dad the love of your life?" Naruto looked shocked at her words.

"Well… about that," Kushina laughed uneasily. "My and your father… our relationship wasn't really as perfect as you might remember."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"I… I used to have special powers from an angel and so did your father."

"Wait… are you talking about Arcangus Auras?"

"Yeah something like that," Kushina waved a hand dismissively. "People with them tend to be put in arranged marriages to try and 'breed' better vessels. That's why your father and I got married."

"Oh." Naruto blinked, "But… I thought you two had a good marriage."

"We were good friends yes, lovers… not so much." Kushina smiled at the portrait. "We never actually consummated our marriage as we both were in love with someone else."

"Really?" Naruto frowned.

"Yeah," Kushina laughed softly. "I mean… Minato kind of reminded me of the man I loved and I kind of reminded him of your mother."

"Kurama," Naruto tilted his head. "I can see why."

"You know about your mother?"

"Jiraiya told me."

"Ah," Kushina smiled. "I only met her briefly myself." Kushina frowned as her head started to hurt her but she fought through the pain. "I… when did I meet her? Gargh!" Kushina clutched her head.

"Kushina!" Naruto steadied her as she lost her balance trying not to blush as her naked chest pressed into him.

"Sorry…" Kushina smiled weakly, "I don't know what came over me. What were we speaking about?"

"It's…" Naruto sighed softly. "We were talking about Dad." _'Kushina must have had her memories sealed as well judging by what happened. Looks like I need to have a few more words with Fu.'_

"Oh yeah," Kushina straightened up. "Well we never really had sex but our families wanted us to produce a child so we went to a clinic to basically fertilise the egg outside my body then put it in to grow." Kushina frowned. "I… can't remember if that worked or not. Odd… You'd think something like that would…"

"Don't think about it!" Naruto warned as Kushina started to groan in pain.

"But… I remember being pregnant!"

"Dad what should I do?" He glanced at the shrine as if hoping for an answer.

"ARGH!" Kushina clutched her head.

"Here goes nothing!" Naruto reached out and squeezed her breasts, hoping that the act would switch Kushina back into sexual deviant mode.

"…Huh?" Kushina instantly dropped the line of thought she was having as she realised Naruto was playing with her breasts. "Naruto…"

"Yes?"

"…I'm going to start having sex with you now."

"…No means no?" Naruto whispered weakly.

"Seriously we leave you alone for five minutes," Momo joked as she and her sisters walked into the room, now fully dressed.

"Is this the good ecchi as well?" Yami intoned. "Like when you and Lala were naked and you put your man part in her?"

There was a deathly silence as Momo and Kushina looked at Yami who remained expressionless then Lala who tilted her head with a cute confused expression before finally locking their eyes on Naruto who gulped and released Kushina's breast.

"IT'S BABY MAKING TIME!" Kushina roared as a pinkish aura covered her.

"It's open season on Naruto!" Momo licked her lips. "And I've been waiting sooo long for this day."

"…Have Mercy?" Naruto whimpered.

"No mercy for the weak!" Kushina roared as she pounced.

Then all hell broke loose.

* * *

The street was practically empty as a bus pulled up and its doors swung open.

"Thank you bus driver-san!" A cheerful voice called out and Kyouko Kirisaki left the bus. She was not in her usual witch cosplay as she wanted to keep a low profile. The last thing she needed was a bunch of her fans stopping her from reaching her destination. While she usually had all the time in the world for her fans, today she was visiting her future husband. She took a trip down memory lanes as she walked down the familiar streets.

_'I remember when Naru and I used to play on those swings. We jumped off as we were swinging and I hurt my ankle so he carried me back to his house… That's the house we used to play 'Knock a door, run.' The old man who lived there was always bursting any balls we accidentally kicked into his backyard so it made sense to prank him. I… wait a second. This isn't familiar.' _Kyouko frowned as she came across a new house._ 'I could have sworn that Naruto's house was around here somewhere but none of these buildings look familiar.'_

"Hey there! XD." A cheerful voice that seemed to express an emote without actually saying anything shook Kyouko out of her musing.

"Huh?" Kyouko turned around to see a green haired teenager sat on a wall idly swinging her legs.

"You look lost :(."

"I am sort of lost," Kyouko laughed as she rubbed the back of her head.

"It's not good to be lost," The green haired girl shook her head.

"Do you know where the Uzumaki family lives?"

"Oh are you looking for Naruto?"

"You know him?"

"Of course," The mint haired girl smiled. "Why he is the talk of the town!"

"He is?"

"Yes he is such a hero around these parts."

"He's… a hero?" Kyouko smiled.

"Yes. So if anyone were to have made any plans involving him becoming a hero… then that condition would be satisfied."

"…That was oddly specific."

"Ahahaha!" The mint haired girl shook her head. "Fu-neechan was just thinking aloud! :P" She leapt off the wall and walked past Kyouko. "Naru-kun lives at the house three doors down. Bye-bye Kyouko Kirisaki!"

"How do you know…" Kyouko turned to face the girl only to find herself alone in the street. "Weird." She shrugged and went to the house that the Fu girl had said was Naruto's. "Here we go… deep breaths… right." Kyouko stared at the door with determination before loudly knocking three times and waiting.

After a good five minutes of waiting she let out a sad sigh. "I must have missed him."

"WHY ISN'T ANYONE STOPPING THIS?!" Naruto's voice cried out.

"Is this the good Ecchi?"

"Yes Yami-chan," Momo replied.

"What? Naru?!" Kyouko threw open the door and froze. Not only was the space inside the house many times bigger than the space the house took up from the outside but more importantly (in her eyes) her childhood friend was pinned down and being molested by her aunt and someone she had never seen before.

"Can I help you?" Kushina asked. She was currently naked and was holding Naruto's trousers whilst Momo was laid on top of him holding him down, her panties rubbing against Naruto's nose. A shocked Nana had her hands over her eyes (With a gap large enough to be able to see everything) with a disinterested Yami watching the scene. The really weird thing was that Lala was simply sat eating breakfast as if nothing was happening.

"Get off of Naru!" Kyouko clicked her fingers and a blast of fire caused Momo and Kushina to jump back.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Momo asked. "Another assassin?"

"KYAAAAAH!" Lala squealed as she looked at their guest. "You are Magical Girl Kyouko!"

"That's the name of the character she plays on TV." Kushina rubbed her forehead. "Her name is Kyouko Kirisaki… my niece and officially guilty of cock-blocking me."

"And me… I vote for the death penalty!" Momo remarked.

"Here, here," Kushina agreed.

"She's also a super cool magical girl!" Lala's eyes sparkled. "I love your show!"

"Thanks," Kyouko smiled widely. "It is always nice to meet a fan."

"Whilst you two talk, we'll be taking Naruto to the bedroom," Momo returned her attention on Naruto.

"Denied!" Kyouko grabbed Naruto and pulled him away from the girls. "Seriously Naru-chan? What the hell is going on here?!"

"Hey Kyo-chan! It's been a while. I heard you got a good TV deal."

"Yes I did," She pouted slightly, "Haven't you been watching my show?"

"On and off," Naruto admitted guiltily. "Lala is a big fan though."

"Lala?" Kyouko turned to the aforementioned princess.

"Hai!" Lala had stars in her eyes. "I've watched every episode at least six times. You are so cool!"

"How did you meet her?" Kyouko returned her attention to Naruto, who was getting redressed.

"Er… do you believe in aliens?" Naruto laughed weakly.

"And if I do?"

"Allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Lala Satalin Deviluke, heir to the Devilukian Empire. The girl trying to cover her eyes is her sister. Nana's twin is Momo, she's the one who looks like she is plotting your imminent demise and I'm sure you remember your aunty."

"Charmed," Kyouko smiled uneasily, "You have a girlfriend?

"Hai!" Lala beamed. "We are in a happy relationship!"

"That's… great…" Kyouko forced a smile. "Say Naru, do you remember the promise we made back when I left?"

"Oh let me see," Naruto closed his eyes. 'If I remember correctly…'

_Flashback_

_"Kyo-chan!" A nine year old Naruto clutched her dress. "Can't you stay?"_

_"Sorry Nar-chan," An equally young Kyouko shook her head. "Papa says I have to go to the big city if I want to pursue my acting career…"_

_"Aww…" Naruto sniffled, "I'll miss you but if you want to be an actress I won't stop you. I'll be waiting to watch you on TV!"_

_"I'll miss you too!" She hugged him, "But let's make a promise!"_

_"A promise?" Naruto tilted his head._

_"Yes… I'll become a big TV star and you'll be a brave hero!"_

_"Right!"_

_"And when we both succeed we'll meet up again…" Kyouko blushed and muttered something under her breath._

_"Pardon?"_

_"We'll… become partners!" She blushed._

_"Right!" Naruto nodded eagerly. 'When she becomes a big star and I become a hero we'll become partners! An unstoppable duo of heroes!'_

_End Flashback._

"Ah I remember," Naruto laughed gently. "But I guess I'm not quite a hero just yet."

"Oh!" Kyouko brightened up. _'So he hasn't forgot his promise. Then why is he dating this Lala girl?'_ "How did you two meet?"

"I ran away from home and teleported into his shower." Lala declared proudly.

"She kind of refused to leave and ended up growing on me. Now the fate of the Earth depends on our relationship." Naruto noticed Kyouko's confused expression, "Her dad's a jackass. Should Lala marry someone who isn't me he'll destroy the Earth."

"Papa isn't so bad when you get to know him. He just wants to make sure you treat me right."

"He's been trying to marry you three off to random strangers most of your lives."

"…He doesn't want us to die alone?" Lala replied weakly.

"Oh I see how it is," Kyouko crossed her arms sternly. "You couldn't win Naruto's heart so you got your dad to blackmail him into dating you!"

"What?" Lala looked visibly upset. "That's not true!"

"I didn't know that Gid would destroy the Earth until after we started dating," Naruto glanced at Kyouko.

"This is so like you Naru," Kyouko sighed. "Always getting yourself into trouble. Well never fear! Kyo-chan is here to help you out!"

"Hmm…" Momo started looking Kyouko up and down. "Well I guess you could work."

"Pardon?" Kyouko blinked.

"Well the harem could always have more members." Momo continued.

"W-what?"

"Yeah he left that bit out didn't he," Momo smirked. "You see… Naruto is planning to become the emperor in Papa's place so that he can have a harem."

"Don't make it sound like that's my goal!" Naruto cut in. "I'm becoming emperor so I can stop Gid forcing you to marry people you don't want to!"

"By marrying all of us," Lala added.

"M-marrying them all?!" Kyouko staggered backwards.

"It's not that I want to!" Nana waved her arms furiously, "B-but I guess… there are worse people to marry." She mumbled blushing furiously.

"If you don't want to marry me you don't have to." Naruto smiled.

"Why?" Nana looked like she was on the verge of bursting into tears. "Don't you want to marry me?"

"I would be honoured to marry someone as wonderful as you," Naruto tried to console the sad twin.

"W-well," Nana's blush threatened to take over her entire body, "If you want to marry me so much I guess I could let you."

"You… you…" Kyouko opened and closed her mouth. "Are you some sort of mega pervert?!"

"No!" Naruto defended himself.

"Yet you were eager to grope Kushina…Stupid perverted beast," Nana muttered as she looked away.

"I see…" Kyouko's voice went sickly sweet, "In my absence you have abandoned the path of a hero. Well never fear! Kyo-chan is here to correct your ways!"

"STOP!" The door to the house was blown off of its hinges and a familiar old man combat rolled into the room. "This man must not be swayed from his course," Jiraiya stood up proud. "He is the legendary… MEGA HENTAI!"

"Don't give me stupid titles damn it!"

"Yeah," Momo nodded. "Everyone knows his real title is the Harem Lord!"

"I never agreed to that!"

"I thought he was a manly sage?" Lala looked thoughtful, "Or was it action sage? Or Action hero manly action sage manly hero legend?"

"Don't talk to Kenichi so much, he'll rot your brain," Naruto deadpanned.

"Hoho!" Jiraiya grinned as he looked at Naruto. "I see you finally sealed the deal!"

"What?" Kyouko blinked.

"Heh," Jiraiya looked smug, "My legendary senses can tell if someone is a virgin or not! For example… Kushina isn't, Lala isn't, but Momo, Nana and Kyouko are!"

"DON'T GO SAYING SUCH THINGS!" Kyouko yelled as she set Jiraiya on fire.

"Hahaha!" Jiraiya laughed oblivious to the flames. "Bow before my greatness."

"You know what?" Naruto sighed. "Screw this. I have a date to prepare for."

"Ah yes," Jiraiya nodded. "A date with the 'she doesn't see me that way at all' Yui right?"

"How… how did you know that?"

"Wait… You have three girls who love you and you are going on a date with another?!" Kyouko eyes turned to whirls, "But… I… You… I… What?" A puff of smoke came out of her head and she fell to her knees.

"Nothing gets by me boy…" Jiraiya grinned, "For example do you know that while you are out of the house Nana sneaks into your room and-"

"Gi-chan I choose you!"

"GIIII!" The giant boar appeared and charged at Jiraiya who stopped it with one hand.

"Oh my!" Jiraiya licked his lips. "This looks like it would make one hell of a meal. I know where I can get some good barbeque sauce!"

"GIII!" The boar quickly turned around and fled through the wall and into the town.

"Hey Gi-chan!" Nana stared after one of her favourite animal friends.

"Hahaha!" Jiraiya puffed his chest out proudly. "I still got it!"

"What?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "An STD?"

"Gargh!" Jiraiya flinched. "I'll have you know I'm clean! Anyway," Jiraiya shook his head. "We are not here to discuss your blossoming sex life!"

"Thank god for that," Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Now a little birdie tells me that you are going to the Valentines ball tonight with Yui right?"

"W-wait!" Kyouko flailed her arms, "You are taking someone to the valentine's ball?"

"Yeah," Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"But that is like the number one event to propose!" This was too much for Kyouko. In her mind she saw a chibi Naruto and Chibi her walking down the isle, only for Lala, Momo, Nana and a blurred figure that was Yui stealing him away from her. 'It was supposed to be so simple! I'd become a star and then we would get married! How did it end up like this?!'

"It is?"

"Hoo!" Jiraiya smiled. "You move fast boy!"

"I'm not going to propose to her!" Naruto yelled at Jiraiya

"Well… do you have a suit?" Jiraiya asked.

"I need a suit?"

"It's a ball damn it!" Jiraiya exclaimed. "I'll bet you Yui will be wearing a beautiful ball gown! Fortunately your friendly neighbourhood Pervert is here to help you!"

"…Ecchi?" Yami glanced at Naruto.

"Yes he is," Naruto nodded.

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya glanced at Yami as he dodged her hair blade, "I didn't see you there. I didn't know those were your tastes boy."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"Well who am I to judge," Jiraiya shrugged. "Just… don't do anything illegal eh?"

"It's not like that!" Naruto glanced at the stoic blonde assassin, "Tell him Yami-chan!"

"Naruto is my Onii-sama."

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya gave Naruto a thumbs up, "You've trained yourself a little sister type! I bow before your mastery in the perverted arts!"

"Stop misreading the situation damn it!"

* * *

Yui stared at the mirror in her room whilst adjusting her dress for what must have been the hundredth time this morning. The Valentine ball that she had been invited to was the first major event in the local 'Love Love' Festival. It was said that if you shared a kiss with the one you loved as the bells tolled midnight then you would you be with the other person for the rest of your lives, living a blissful married life.

"Does he know?" Yui started combing her hair. "Does he plan to k-k-kiss me?" She blushed at the thought. "To do something so shameless… But he is dating Lala," Yui frowned. "I can't be in such a… a… immoral relationship." She paused. "But Sarenji-san said that love was a battle. Does that mean that I should fight for Naruto's affections? But that would make me and Lala rivals. I… I don't know if I can compete with her. She is beautiful and has an amazing figure… Not to mention she is a nice person. Why would Naruto ever want to be with me when he has such a beautiful girlfriend already?"

She glanced at her reflection in the dress. It was a dark violet colour that fell down to just below her knees. It was soft as silk and revealed a little cleavage but not in a way that Yui found shameless. The dress made her look more mature and dignified which she liked very much.

She sighed sadly as she took off the ballroom dress and hung it on the door of her wardrobe before diving onto the bed in only her underwear. "Why is this so confusing?!"

"Yui-chan?" Her brother called through the door, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Yui called back. "Just… thinking."

"Can I come in?"

"Er…" Yui covered herself with her duvet before answering, "Yes I guess."

"Right," Yui entered the room with a mug of hot chocolate that he gave to Yui. "I could hear you pacing around. You are really nervous about this date aren't you?"

"I… It's complicated." Yui mumbled as she sipped the drink.

"Do you know that when I first saw Akiho-chan she was actually seeing someone else?" Yuu smiled. "But I saw my chance and I took it and now we are dating. Sure that other guy might not be too pleased but Akiho and I are in a blissful relationship. At the end of the day all that matters is that you are happy and you can live with the choices you make. Say you and Naruto get close on this date and he ends up breaking up with the other girl, doesn't that mean that his relationship with her isn't that strong? If all it takes is one date with you then clearly their relationship has issues and it would be better for them to see other people. So really you'd be doing them both a favour."

"Onii-sama," Yui sighed, "Lala is… she is my friend and I have precious few of them. I don't want to come between them."

"But do you want to be with Naruto?"

Yui merely nodded.

"Which do you want more?"

"…Naruto."

"I thought so," Yuu smiled softly. "Then you already know what you must do right?"

"Is there no other way?" Yui muttered softly.

"Well you could always share," Yuu joked.

"You sound like Lala," Yui muttered under her breath.

"Come on," Yuu chuckled, "Get dressed and I'll take you for a bite to eat where we can discuss your attack strategy!"

"Attack strategy?"

"Of course. I can't have my little sister going into battle unprepared." Yuu left her to get dressed.

A few minutes later they were walking down the street heading towards a café.

"Still," Yuu sighed, "To get tickets to the Valentine Ball… I had been trying to get some tickets for Akiho and myself but they sold out too quickly. The only way to get them now is to buy them from other people and they charge practically triple the price. Where did you get the dress from?"

"It… It was a present from Naruto." Yui blushed. In truth it had been sent by Jiraiya who had been able to guess her sizes at a glance. He really does have legendary senses. He had just signed it as Naruto.

"Man… I didn't know Naruto had that sort of money," Yuu whistled. "He must really like you."

"You… you think so?" Yui twiddled her fingers as they approached a familiar looking café, with Yui too lost in her thoughts to notice until they entered.

"Okaerinasaimase, goshujin-sama!"

"Onii-sama…" Yui growled. "Why are we here?"

"Because it is cheap and near our house," Yuu smiled as they were guided by a maid to a table.

"Ah Kotegawa-san!" Kenichi span around. "Are you working today?"

"Saruyama-san?" Yui blinked.

"The fuckwit spends most of his time here," Tayuya walked past them carrying a tray. "Hope you die Shitface," She dropped the tray on the table in front of Kenichi before walking off.

"Okay…" Yui found the ecstatic look on Kenichi's face to be worrying but decided not to comment and followed her brother to a table in the corner.

"You've worked here?" Yuu asked.

"When you sent me here to work off your debt!" Yui glared at him.

"Oh yeah," Yuu laughed. "Wasn't Naruto with you then?"

"Yes," She blushed faintly remembering when he had been dressed as a butler and she a maid.

_"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "You look amazing."_

_"T…Thanks," Yui stuttered out her face aflame. "You look good too."_

_"Just get out here and start serving customers! You two can make out later!" Tsunade called from the dining area._

_"Baa-chan!" Naruto yelled back before turning to Yui with a smile, "So shall we get this over with."_

_"As you wish," Yui bowed demurely. "Goshujin-sama."_

_Naruto blinked stupidly before shaking himself then smiled handsomely at Yui. "After you, Ojou-sama," Naruto offered his hand. Yui's face went crimson as she tried not to look at him._

"That was… fun." Yui smiled.

"Oh so you enjoyed dressing up? Wouldn't you usually find that 'shameless'?"

"It… I…" Yui tried to defend herself.

"Relax," Yuu laughed at her. "I have to admit… since you started hanging around with Naruto more you have been livelier. It is good to see. You always used to be so… rigid. Everything was either moral or shameless. Now you are starting to understand morality isn't some sort of black or white scenario. It's a whole palette of different colours. The best thing to do is do what you feel is right. Don't worry about any sort of moral codes that others try and force on you. Take Naruto as an example. People might view him as a delinquent but all he does is protect those he cares about right? He doesn't care what other people think of him, so long as his precious people are safe he can go to bed at night with a smile on his face."

"But… he gets hurt a lot," Yui remembered when she had found him during his fight with Gid. "And I… I can't protect him…"

_"Naruto!" She ran over to him and wiped some of the blood from his face, "Please Naruto! Don't die!"_

_"Who are you?"_

_Yui turned around to see Gid, who had squatted down on a pile of debris and was simply staring at the unconscious Naruto._

_"I won't let you harm him!" Yui stood between Naruto and Gid._

"Yes he does," Yuu nodded. "And that won't change whether you are with him or not. That's just the guy he is."

"I don't know if I can stand seeing him get hurt…" Yui frowned as she recalled Momo's words to her.

_"So you are giving up?" Momo remarked. "All I heard there was how much you had suffered. What do you think of Naruto's suffering? He is willing to bare these burdens to protect those he cares about. You said it yourself, he allowed himself to get beat up to protect you and you repay him by turning your back on him?"_

_"Momo!" Lala exclaimed._

_"I'm sorry Onee-sama but I am not shutting up," Momo crossed her arms. "Do you even realise how lucky you are? To have someone like Naruto caring for you? Naruto cares for you a lot, hell the idiot is so dense he probably doesn't even realise why he hangs around with you."_

"I… am I a coward?" Yui looked at her brother. "Naruto is always getting in trouble but I… I want to run away so I don't see him suffer. I want to distance myself to protect myself from the horrible feeling I get every time I see him hurt."

"I won't mince words here," Yuu nodded. "Yes you are. I know for a fact if I was hurt… I'd want the person I love to be there to support me."

"L-love?" Yui blushed.

"Naruto definitely loves you," Yuu nodded sagely, "After all, hasn't he shown how far he is willing to go to protect you?"

"Yes…" Yui frowned. She recalled when the school had been invaded by the Panther delinquent gang.

_"We Panthers have our pride!" One of the gang members smirked. His tracksuit appeared to be of a better quality that the others and he had a military style rank badge on his arm. Naruto assumed he was the leader. "And we also have our weapons!" He pulled out a gun. "Not so tough now are you?!" He laughed manically. "Now I'll give you a choice! You either stand there and let my men kick the living daylights out of you… or I start taking pot shots at the students, starting with your girlfriend over there."_

_"You bastard…" Naruto growled._

_"What was that?" The gun wielding thug smirked and cocked the hand gun, pointing it at Yui._

_"Fine… you win," Naruto glared at the leader. "I won't fight back."_

"And everyone knows that when their loved ones are in danger, people are capable of feats that might be viewed as impossible." Yuu continued.

"Yeah…" Yui nodded softly.

_"Oh?" Gid seemingly teleported in front of her and grabbed her wrist. "And now what will you do?"_

_"I…" Yui faltered._

_"Let… her… go…" Naruto groaned as he stood up._

_"Oh sleeping beauty has awoken." Gid wrapped his tail around Yui's neck and lifted her up into the air, tightening his grip and choking her. "I think I'll kill this one. Maybe that will make you actually fight."_

_"I said…" Naruto growled. "LET HER GO!" His body erupted in a crimson energy._

"So… do you think Naruto likes you or not? Because the answer is pretty obvious to me," Yuu grinned at her. "So go forth soldier of love!" He saluted her, "Your beloved needs you!"

"Idiot," Yui snorted with laughter.

"Sorry for the wait Kotegawa-dono," A pink haired maid approached their table. "How may I help you today?"

"Ah Sakura-chan!" Yuu smiled, "I'll have the special please!"

"Wallet," Sakura held out her hand.

"What?" Yuu blinked.

"Company policy when dealing with deadbeats like you," Tsunade walked over with a smirk. "We make sure you can actually pay for what you order before we serve you."

"That's so mean…" Yuu pouted as he handed over a suspiciously empty looking wallet.

"Empty," Sakura remarked as she tossed him his wallet back.

"Yui-chan?" Yuu glanced at her.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date with Naruto?" Tsunade asked.

"How do you know about that?" Yui blinked.

"Word travels fast," Tsunade grinned.

"Oh? The idiot got himself a date?" Sakura looked surprised.

"He's not an idiot!" Yui replied hotly.

"Ah I didn't mean anything by it," Sakura stepped back. "It's just some friendly banter we have going on. I call him an idiot and he calls me an ogre."

"Ogre?"

Sakura lifted up the table with one hand. "Yeah… I'm kind of strong. We don't mean anything by it." She put the table back down.

"Wow," Yui blinked.

"Well if you are going on date with Naruto, I imagine he is taking you someplace romantic," Sakura smiled. "He is a good person… a little rough around the edges but a good person. Take care of him okay? God knows he can't do it himself. Maybe having a sensible head around him will stop him getting into so much trouble."

"Unlikely," Tsunade chuckled. "He could be the last person left in existence and he would still end up getting himself into trouble somehow."

"True that," Sakura chuckled as she walked away from the table, closely followed by Tsunade.

"Er…" Yuu watched them walk away, "Guess I'm not dining and dashing today then."

"…You make a habit of doing that?!" Yui crossed her arms and glared at him sternly before lecturing him.

"Lucky bastard," Kenichi sighed, "I wish someone was here to yell at me. Tayuya-chan!" He called out in a sing song voice.

"What do you want fucker?" Tayuya scowled as she walked up to his table.

"I just wanted to talk."

"Like a stupid shithead like you has anything fucking important to say." Tayuya took a seat opposite Kenichi and simply hurled abuse at him, causing him to cry tears of joy.

What a boring world it would be if we were all the same eh?

* * *

"Right," Naruto checked his appearance in the mirror, "What do we think?" He asked as he turned around. He was wearing a black suit with a bright orange tie.

"You look so handsome!" Lala clapped her hands together happily.

"Not bad Naru-chan," Kyouko held her fingers in a square using her thumb and forefingers and peered through the gap, "I can see you playing a suave businessman or maybe the hot teacher in a film or something."

"You'd look better with nothing on," Momo remarked, "But this is good too."

"Oh my…" Kushina drooled. "Can he keep that outfit? I can feel a 'male teacher with a female delinquent in detention' style scene in my future!"

"You almost look respectable!" Nana nodded her approval.

"Not as good as I'd look in a suit," Jiraiya remarked. "But it will do I suppose."

"Thanks," Naruto straightened his jacket with a smile.

"So before you go there are a few things I want to talk to you about," Jiraiya walked behind Naruto and helped him tidy himself up. "First things first, while you are on this date you are not dating Lala. Do you understand?"

"What?"

"It's okay," Lala smiled softly. "For you to win the bet you must focus purely on Yui-chan. Pretend we aren't dating and don't think 'Would Lala mind if I did this?' and simply do what you feel is right."

"If you say so," Naruto frowned.

"Second of all, do not under any circumstances mention her boyfriend," Jiraiya continued, "If the conversation seems to be heading that way change it. Even if it's obvious that you are changing the subject just do it."

"Right," Naruto nodded, "Pretend I'm not dating Lala and Yui has no boyfriend."

"Good," Jiraiya nodded. "Now then," He tucked a rose into Naruto's jacket. "What happens when you arrive at Yui's house?"

"I present her with this rose and compliment her appearance." Naruto tapped the rose. "Then I escort her to the car that you hired."

"Right," Jiraiya nodded as he stepped away admiring his handiwork, "Not bad, maybe I should make a career of this."

"That reminds me," Naruto frowned, "Where did you get the money to build that swimming pool? Surely those books don't sell that well."

"Oh I have my finger in many different pies," Jiraiya smiled. "Some of my purchases don't get destroyed by the Emperor of the Galaxy so they actually make me money. So… you are ready and it is almost time for you to leave on your date. Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Naruto breathed out.

"Got your condoms?"

"I'm not having sex with Yui tonight!"

"Here just in case."

"…" Naruto pocketed the items.

"Well then," Jiraiya stood back with a soft smile. "Go get her tiger!"

"Right!" Naruto nodded and left the bedroom.

"So… are you really okay with this?" Kyouko asked Lala.

"Of course," Lala nodded. "Yui-chan needs love too and Naruto has plenty of love to give!"

"Right," Momo and Nana nodded in agreement.

"I see," Kyouko looked thoughtful before cursing loudly.

"What?"

"I forgot to ask Naruto to star in the next episode of Magical Girl Kyouko." Kyouko sighed. "Oh well I'll just ask him later."

Lala's eyes shone at the thought of Naruto being on her favourite TV show. She hoped he said yes. How awesome would that be? Her boyfriend being on a TV show!

* * *

Yui could barely hear anything over the noise of her own heart beating. She was currently in her room, wearing the dress and trying to calm herself down.

There was a knock at the door and Yui almost leapt out of her skin. "Who… who is it?"

"It's your brother," Yuu opened the door, "Naruto's arrived."

"Right!" Yui squeaked as she left her room. 'This is it… an actual date with Naruto!' She left her room and was greeted by Naruto who was stood by the door of a limousine. He looked so handsome and mature as the wind gently ruffled his blonde hair. His deep blue eyes widened as he took in her appearance.

"Wow," Naruto smiled, "You look amazing!"

"T-thanks," Yui blushed.

"Ah!" Naruto pulled out the rose from his jacket, "A flower for you."

"A rose…" Yui smiled as she held it in her hands. "I love it. Thank you."

"No… thank you," Naruto smiled as he helped her into the limousine and sat next to her at the back as the car pulled away.

"So…" Yui glanced at Naruto before looking away with a blush, "Have you ever been to an event like this before?"

"Nope," Naruto admitted happily, "This will be a learning experience for me. I hope I don't embarrass you."

"You won't," Yui smiled, "I've never been to one either."

"Well we'll have to learn together right?"

"Right," Yui nodded. "Naruto… why did you ask me on this date?"

"Well… to be completely honest I don't know," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"Even though you have a girlfriend?"

"For today, you are the only girl in my life." Naruto smiled at her. "So let's just focus on us right now okay?"

"Right," Yui looked uncomfortable with the idea.

"If it makes you feel better Lala doesn't mind."

"But she wants us all to be in a harem," Yui frowned.

"I don't have a harem," Naruto shook his head, "What I have is a large family. We all care for each other."

"A large family…" Yui stared at the front of the car. "That doesn't sound so… shameless."

"I won't lie. Some member of my family can definitely be called shameless but isn't there someone like that in every family?"

"That's true," Yui nodded.

"And… I really do care about you." Naruto chuckled. "It's kind of weird to think that you are one of my closest friends when all you really used to do was lecture me on my behaviour and tell me not to associate with Risa."

"Well… you were acting shamelessly and Risa is a bad influence."

"She's not that bad when you get to know her." Naruto laughed. "Admittedly she can be a bit touchy feely at times."

"At times? She tries to grope Lala and Haruna every time she sees them."

"She doesn't try it with you?"

"No," Yui shook her head, "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well," Naruto blushed and stared out of the window. "You are… you know."

"Know what?"

"You have a shameless figure."

"Pardon?"

"You have a sexy body."

"W-what?" Yui blushed and stared out of the window.

The two found themselves staring out of opposite windows, too embarrassed to look each other in the face until the car suddenly screeched to a halt.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked the driver.

"Sorry sir," He replied, "It appears that a giant boar has grabbed a youth in his mouth and is running across the road."

"Oh," Naruto blinked.

"I hope he is okay," Yui remarked.

"I'm sure he will be fine," The driver assured them before they resumed their journey.

* * *

"Finally!" A certain masked intruder cheered as the final gate sealing the cell fell from its hinges. The last laser turret sparked and died.

"I AM FREE!" A deep voice sounded and out stepped a giant of a man.

"Er… who are you?" The masked intruder tilted his head.

"I am Naraku of the Pein Squad!" The man declared.

"Oh…" The intruder frowned. "I was looking for this person," He pulled out a sheet of paper.

"Oh hell no!" Naraku ran back inside his cell. "If you're freeing her I'm staying in here!"

"Could you tell me where her cell is?"

"The complete opposite side of the prison!"

"Oh!" The masked intruder face palmed. "I had the map back to front! Silly me! Maybe mistress will punish me for my failure!" He skipped away from the destroyed cell as Naraku tried to rebuild his own cell. There are some people who even hardened criminals don't mess with.

* * *

The limousine pulled to a halt and Naruto helped Yui out of the vehicle. The ball was being held at a mansion owned by the Tenjouin family. There were quite a few people making their way inside, all of them were in pairs. The men all wearing suits whereas the women were all wearing fancy dresses.

"Man," Naruto chuckled, "I don't think I've ever been at such a high class event before."

"Me either," Yui turned as the limousine drove away. "I guess we go in now?"

"Here," Naruto offered her his arm.

"Thanks," Yui smiled softly and wrapped her arm around his as the two made their way into the mansion.

"Wow…" Naruto looked around, "This place looks really impressive!" The gardens were larger than the school grounds and well maintained.

"Hohohoho!" A familiar laugh caught Naruto's attention. "We meet again Uzumaki-san!" A woman with blonde hair and wearing a very revealing dress greeted Naruto. She was carrying a fan with the symbol of the Tenjouin house on it.

"… It's Suki right?"

"Saki!" Saki corrected him before laughing again, "I can see my beauty has muddled your brain." She turned to Kotegawa, "Oh? What are you doing with Kotegawa-san? Isn't Lala your girlfriend?"

"Er…" Naruto noticed Yui's awkward face. 'She probably doesn't want people to think she is shamelessly trying to steal me from Lala… There's only one thing for it. Hope Lala forgives me for this.' "Lala and I… we… well we were just too different to have a successful relationship," Naruto looked awkward.

"Oh?" Saki blinked. "I see." 'So it appears my rival for the throne has lost her boyfriend… If I could steal him away then that would mean it was my victory!' "Well… I do hope you enjoy the party, Naruto-kun," She smiled seductively before walking away swaying her hips.

"How do you know her Naruto-san?" Yui's expression darkened.

"Er… She kind of kidnapped…" Naruto was cut off by something sharp being pressed into his back.

"Not another word," A voice whispered in his ear.

"Kidnapped?" Yui turned to look at Naruto, "Oh sorry are we in your way?" She addressed her remark to the maid behind Naruto.

"Oh no," Hanabi bowed slightly, "I was waiting for you to finish speaking before asking if you would like any refreshments?"

"I am fine thank you." Yui smiled.

"I could do with a glass of water." Naruto asked.

"Of course master," Hanabi smiled all too innocently and walked away as Naruto rubbed where she had held a blade to his back.

"That maid has issues." Naruto muttered. "Anyway… let's go in shall we?"

"Right," Yui nodded.

The two walked arm in arm into the main building with Yui smiling to herself. _'It just feels right, being this close to Naruto.'_ She glanced at his face which was lit up with excitement._ 'He is almost like a child… I'm glad he is enjoying this.'_

"Something wrong?" Naruto asked with a smile when he noticed her stare.

"Oh nothing…" Yui blushed and looked away.

"Uzumaki-san." A cold voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Ah… Rin-chan," Naruto smiled uneasily. The body guard of Rin was wearing a loose fitting black gown that showed off her curves yet allowed enough freedom that it wouldn't hinder her too much in a fight. Naruto wouldn't be surprised to learn that she had a sword concealed in the dress. A bodyguard had to always be prepared after all.

"You do not have the right to call me that," Rin snapped.

"Sorry," Naruto stepped back.

"Sorry?" Rin looked as if she was about to yell something but took a deep breath. "I must find Saki-sama. The main meal will be starting in ten minutes. Please make your way to the dining area."

"Right thanks," Naruto smiled.

Rin merely turned around and walked away.

"What did you do to upset her?" Yui asked.

"It's a long story," Naruto smiled softly. "Either she would hate me or hate herself. This is the better option."

"If you say so," Yui looked over her shoulder at Rin. "If you don't want to tell me that's fine."

"It's not like that," Naruto sighed. "I'll tell you but she can't find out the truth."

"Okay," Yui smiled as the two were assigned a small table and ordered their starters.

"Basically," Naruto ran a hand through his hair, "We were good friends once. We both studied Kendo and were friendly rivals, both of us were the best of our age. As such we frequently faced each other in minor tournaments. Of the two of us, she was the better fighter but I had the better stamina and our fights were always fun for both of us. She was so excited when we both made it the finals of the local competition as the winner would represent our area in the national competition. As someone devoted to the sword, it was always Rin's dream to represent Japan at the Olympics and winning the local competition was the first step on her goals. Unfortunately for her, the local Yakuza had bet on me to win and they don't take chances."

"Oh…" Yui frowned, "So what did they do?"

"They managed to kidnap Suki," Naruto sighed.

"You mean Saki?"

"Her too," Naruto shrugged, "They expected Rin to forfeit in order to rescue her but their plan failed as Rin never found out. My sword school, the Bunta Dojo, has contacts in the criminal underworld and found out about this plot. I couldn't let Rin-chan lose her chance to represent her country so I went to save Saki. I managed to but…" Naruto looked at his arm. "I was badly injured in the process. My dojo managed to help me out but I spent a few weeks in hospital. The next time I saw Rin I found out she thought I had simply decided to not show up and fight her, as if she wasn't good enough for me to fight. Her rage meant her skill dropped off and she lost in the national competition but if she knew that whilst she was focusing on her sword play Saki had been kidnapped… She would never forgive herself."

"But… wouldn't Saki know?"

"She had been drugged," Naruto shook his head. "She briefly gained conscience but I was wearing a disguise and she quickly fell back to sleep so I guess she has no memory of the incident at all. In fact the only one who has is the head butler, Kei I believe his name is. He fought alongside me and even sent a message to Rin saying that I had been badly injured and wouldn't be able to make the fight but apparently she never got that message and thinks I just bailed on her. Still I would rather her hate me than hate herself."

"That's just like you," Yui shook her head, "Getting yourself hurt and hated but not caring because the other person is fine."

"Well," Naruto laughed as their starters arrived, "I'm a hardy person."

"Your water sir," Hanabi placed the glass next to his meal and walked away.

"One moment," Naruto smiled at Yui and tipped a small bit of the water into a plant pot, causing the plant to wither and die. "Figures…"

"Is that maid trying to kill you?" Yui blinked, "What did you do to upset her?"

"I have no idea," Naruto laughed uneasily before looking at his food, "Well let's hope this wasn't poisoned because I am starving!"

"Naruto," Yui smiled softly as they started eating.

The meal passed quickly with Naruto and Yui making small talk. As they finished their desert there was a ringing noise and a man stood up. He was wearing a suit and grinning widely.

"Hello everybody!" He announced. "I am here to welcome you to this year's Valentines Ball! Now for all you youngsters here remember, the garden has plenty of little hideaways to truly enjoy your time with your dates! Ahahahaha!" He laughed brilliantly. "This one knows what I mean right?" He winked at someone in the crowd. "My name is Ryuuga Tenjouin and I hope you enjoy your time in this little mansion of mine!"

"Little?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "This place is massive."

"Rich people have completely different perspective on such things," Yui responded.

"Now I know all of you are eager to start with the night's activities," Ryuuga paused, "Oh and the dancing!" He laughed heartily until he was struck on the head by a fan.

"My apologies for my father," Saki smiled brilliantly. "On behalf of the Tenjouin family I wish you all make fond memories of this night. And without further ado… let the dancing begin!" She snapped her fan shut and a large section of the wall moved to reveal a full orchestra who started playing a lively song.

"It's got a beat," Naruto smiled as he stood up, offering a hand to Yui, "Care to dance my lady?"

"You can dance?" Yui blinked.

"To be honest I've never tried before," Naruto laughed, "But no time like the present right?"

"Right," Yui face lit up as she took Naruto's hand and he led her to the dance floor.

* * *

Back at the Uzumaki household the self-proclaimed Harem Lord's League was discussing matters of great importance.

"And I say our wedding dresses should be easy to get out of," Momo rolled her eyes, "I don't want Naruto losing interest because there was too much fiddling trying to get us naked!"

"They should be frilly!" Nana declared. "And white to show our purity!"

"At least two of us aren't that pure right?" Momo looked at Lala who blushed before looking at Kushina who merely shrugged.

"I never claimed to be pure," Kushina pointed out.

"I say red dresses," Momo crossed her arms, "Red is a passionate colour."

"White!"

"Red!"

"Why am I here again?" Kyouko asked uncertainly.

There was a knock at the door and Momo walked to answer it.

"Hello?" She opened the door to find no-one there. There was just a note on the floor which Momo picked up before her eyes widened in horror.

'To my beautiful angel of death,

It has been too long. Imagine my distress when I learned that our marriage had been cancelled. Why must you continue to pretend that you are anything other than what you are?

You are rage incarnate, an unstoppable killing machine, a true Devilukian Berserker. Why pretend otherwise? Your blood begs for you to slay those you would call sister and yet you deny it and pretend to be 'normal'. Why deny the gifts you have?

Is the blonde human the reason? We shall see. If he is stopping us from being together and causing you to deny who you really are he must be dealt with.

After all… I know where he lives now.

Love,

Your true husband.'

"Nee-san?" Nana walked up behind her, "Is something the matter?"

"No…" Momo smiled weakly as she destroyed the letter. "Nothing is wrong at all. I just need to use the toilet okay?"

"Er… sure," Nana gave her twin an odd look before heading back to the others. As soon as she could she raced upstairs to her room and opened the secret terminal and accessed her drones before blinking in horror.

All of the drones that should have been watching Naruto were showing one thing. Her. She turned around and saw the drones strapped to the ceiling. One of them had a note attached.

'Tut, tut. I can't have you watching me work.

-Your true husband.'

"Damn!" Momo swore as she ran downstairs, "Does anyone know where the Valentine's Ball is?"

"At the Tenjouin Mansion why?" Kushina asked.

"I think… I think Naruto might be in trouble."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Kushina leapt to her feet.

"Wait!" Lala stopped them. "What kind of danger is he in?"

"It's… my suitor. He has found out about Naruto and plans to eliminate him."

"Oh," Lala blinked, "If I remember your suitor wasn't very strong. He shouldn't be a threat."

"He is a true assassin, he revels in death." Momo shook her head, "He uses poison and misdirection to kill his opponents. Naruto might be able to win in a fight but he will make sure Naruto never gets the chance to fight him."

"I see," Lala frowned. "Can't we go after the assassin ourselves?"

"Trust me if I had anyway of knowing where he was... I would kill the bastard myself." Momo growled. "Nobody threatens Naruto and gets away with it. I'm sorry Onee-sama but the date ends now." She pulled out her phone and tried to ring Naruto. "Come on you idiot… answer!"

* * *

"This is fun," Yui smiled as she sat down in a chair. "I never knew dancing was so fun though."

"Yeah," Naruto sat down next to her. "I have to admit I was worried about this date."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled, "I was worried that you wouldn't have fun."

"I…" Yui looked at the table, "I am having a great time. Thank you for bringing me here."

"No worries," Naruto grinned, "We'll have to do this again some time."

"A… another date?" Yui found the cutlery very interesting.

"Well" Naruto rubbed his cheek, "If you want to that is…"

"I… wouldn't mind." Yui mumbled.

"Great," Naruto beamed.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Ryuuga's voice called out. "It's that time! The Midnight dance!"

"Already?" Naruto pulled out his phone, "Huh… I have three missed calls from Momo. I wonder what she wanted. She sent a text as well." Naruto was about to open the message when Yui got his attention.

"Naruto," Yui looked embarrassed. "Do you want to… dance again?"

"The last dance huh?" Naruto smiled, "Sure why not?"

The two walked to the dance floor as the lights dimmed.

[Start Song: So Close by John McLaughlin]

There was the sound of a piano playing slowly and Naruto put a hand on Yui's waist whilst taking her hand in his and slowly dancing with her as the music played and a man started singing.

"You're in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together

And when I'm with you

So close to feeling alive."

_'Today was a good day.'_ Yui thought as she danced. _'He looks so handsome right now. I… I want this night to be really memorable. Maybe a k-kiss.'_ She blushed before dismissing the idea. '_I could never do something so shameless. After all he has a girlfriend. We are just two friends dancing together. But I can pretend… Just for now he is mine.'_

"A life goes by

Romantic dreams must die

so I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you so close…

So close to reaching that famous happy ending

Almost believing this one's not pretend.

And now you're beside me

And look how far we've come.

So far we are so close."

_'Yui seems to be happy._' Naruto thought fondly as her stared deep into her eyes as the orchestra started playing. The two danced in a happy world of their own, the gazes locked fondly on each other. '_I wonder… if I had never met Lala would I have ever been able to enjoy Yui's company like this? Would I eventually have fallen in love with Yui and moved on from Haruna that way? Right now… that seems so very possible. I… I think I might be falling for her…'_

"Oh how could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?" The singer called out.

Yui looked at Naruto and as the music flared back into life knew without a doubt what she should do. Her feelings were buoyed by the music and she felt as if she was flying. As the midnight bells tolled she leaned forwards and kissed Naruto who froze in shock before melting into the kiss. The whole world seemed distant and all that mattered was the just the two of them.

"We are so close to reaching that famous happy ending.

Almost believing this one's not pretend.

Let's go on dreaming for we know we are…

Yui pulled away with a distant look that morphed into horror as she realised what she had just done. _'Why did I do that? He is going to think I am some sort of easy woman.'_ "I… I'm sorry," She turned away from Naruto and ran as the music finally died down around them.

"So close…. So close and still so far…" The singer finished softly as Naruto stood in a daze.

"Yui-chan?" Naruto repeated softly as he touched his lips.

"Aren't you going to chase after her?"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to see Saki stood watching him.

"Do you care for that girl?"

"Of course!"

"Then right now you should chase after her and show her that."

"…Right," Naruto smiled at her, "Thanks." He ran away.

Saki wasn't the only person watching him.

"Isn't that Risa-chan's crush?" A young woman asked her partner.

"Indeed he is," The man sighed. "It looks like she will not be marrying the man she wanted."

"I believe we gave her ample time to make a move," The woman sighed, "But we must put our family name first now. I believe there are a few possible suitors who we could use to elevate our family's social standing."

"As you wish dear."

"Don't use that defeated tone with me. I'm doing what is the best for our daughter."

"I'm sure you think that dear."

"Are you implying I am wrong?"

"I wouldn't dream of it." The man sighed. "But when this blows up in your face… you can be the one who has to deal with an angry Naruto. Once was enough for me thank you."

"Stop being such a drama queen," The woman took in the other people in the room. "I wonder if the Tenjouin have any distant cousins looking to marry."

* * *

"Damn it… how can she move so fast in that dress?" Naruto panted as he searched the gardens for any sign of Yui.

"Can I help you?"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to see a silver haired youth stood behind him. His smile was warm and he wore glasses that reflected the light at the right angle to hide his eyes. "Do I know you?"

"I am a member of staff here." He smiled, "My name is Kabuto."

"Oh sorry," Naruto scowled, "You didn't see a girl come running out?"

"Long black hair, looked like she was crying?"

"That could be her," Naruto nodded.

"She caught a bus and left."

"Damn it," Naruto sighed heavily. "I don't suppose you saw where it was going?"

"I'm afraid not but it did head down the street to the left if that helps."

"Yeah thanks," Naruto turned and ran in the direction the figure had suggested.

"So you are the one who is diverting my sweet angel of death from her true path," Kabuto pushed his glasses up. "Soon… you will be dead and my beloved shall be the one to do the deed and finally shed this pointless attachment to those unworthy of her presence. Without you holding her back… she will become the avatar of death!" Kabuto vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto ran down the street in the general direction that Kabuto had indicated as the rain started to fall around him. _'Yui-chan… she looked so sad. I won't let her feel that way again. I don't care if she has a boyfriend or not. I will protect her!'_ He kept running until he reached a crossroads. "Now what?!"

"Naruto?"

"Huh?" He span around to see Yuu Kotegawa sat on a bike with Akiho in a side car. "What are you two doing out this late?"

"We were just on our way back home after watching a movie," Yuu scowled, "Aren't you supposed to be with Yui?"

"I was but…" Naruto groaned. "She… she kind of ran off." He was taken by surprise when Yuu punched him across the face, leaving a stinging pain in his cheek. "What the hell jackass?"

"What did you do?" He growled.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto snapped. "She kissed me then ran away!"

"She did what?" Yuu groaned. "If I told you where she was… what would you do?"

"I'd go after her of course!" Naruto clenched his fists. "I… I have something I have to tell her."

"Right," Yuu adjusted his position "get on."

"Thanks," Naruto climbed on to the back of the bike.

"Say Naruto," Akiho turned to face him. "I've noticed you haven't been around my house much lately. Have you and Haruna had a falling out?"

"No," Naruto shook his head. "I'm just really busy these days."

"I see…" Akiho shut her eyes and sighed.

"Is something wrong?"

"No… it's nothing," Akiho shook her head as Yuu raced down the road, finally stopping at a cemetery.

"Why are we stopping here?" Naruto shivered.

"Our grandmother's grave is in there," Yuu turned to Naruto. "When Yui was little she was always visiting Grandma when things got too much for her." He glanced into the cemetery. "Go get her Naruto."

"Right," Naruto clambered off the bike, "Oh and Yuu?"

"Yeah? OUCH! My nose!"

"That's for punching me jackass." Naruto ran into the cemetery whilst Akiho sniggered at her boyfriend's expense.

"I don't know what you're laughing at," Yuu smirked, "I think I just won our bet."

"Oh that thing?" Akiho sighed softly. "Yeah… I guess so." _'Haruna-chan… it looks like you let a good man go. Maybe… maybe it isn't too late though. I just hope you realise what's in front of you before it's too late.' "_Let's go home."

"Right," Yuu nodded. "Do I get to claim that reward now?"

"I've got a headache."

"… I'm never getting that reward am I?"

"Hehe," Akiho stuck her tongue out then laughed as Yuu drove away shaking his head with a fond smile.

"GIIIII!"

"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"

"…Yuu."

"Yes Akiho?"

"Did you just see a teenager being eaten by a giant boar that charged by us?"

"Did you?"

"…I didn't see anything."

"Me neither."

"OH GOD IT HURTS."

"Nor can I hear anything," Yuu remarked as they drove away.

* * *

Yui stood staring at the grave of her grandmother. Even though it was midnight she felt safe here. The full moon was illuminating the graveyard and this place always have a peaceful feeling about it. "What do I do Granny? For one perfect moment it was like everything I had ever dreamed of… I…" She clutched her heart with tears falling down her face, "Why did it have to be like this? I have never wanted anything so much as I want to be with Naruto right now but he has a girlfriend… and even if said girlfriend is happy to share him how can I take part in something so shameless?"

As if in response there was a gentle breeze, as if the wind was gently stroking her head much like Granny Kotegawa used to do.

"I'm so confused," Yui sobbed. "I love him so much but…"

"Son of a bitch!" There was a splatting noise.

"Who's there?" Yui span around furiously wiping the tears from her face.

"Why was there an open grave?" Naruto groaned.

"Naruto?" Yui peered into an open grave to see the blonde struggling to his feet. "I… I'm sorry!" She turned to run again.

"Wait!" Naruto yelled. "Please just… wait alright?"

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Yui sobbed. "I… You have a girlfriend!"

"I know my life is kind of… abnormal right now," Naruto sighed. "I have alien princesses trying to marry me, assassins trying to kill me and the father in law from hell… It's almost too much for one person to cope with… But I…" Naruto trailed off. "What I mean to say is…Argh!" He yelled out. "Why is this so damn hard?"

"Naruto?"

"What I mean to say is…" Naruto closed his eyes.

_'I'm sorry Naruto…' Haruna's voice echoed in his mind._

"I…" His mouth went dry._ 'Why… why can't I say what I want to? Am I… scared?'_ He opened his eyes and saw Yui before him, bathed in the moonlight. _'She looks so beautiful…'_ "I… Man… I must look so uncool right now."

"Pardon?"

"Not only did I fail to stop you leaving the dance I can't even tell you how I feel. Pretty pathetic huh? I mean… I'm not afraid of fighting assassins or the freaking ruler of the universe but telling you how important you are to me has me losing the ability to talk."

"Naruto…" Yui whispered.

"Yui," Naruto looked up at her. "I think… I think I am falling for you. I know that sounds shameless all things considered but… you know what?!" He scowled. "I don't care! I am falling for you! I know that I have a girlfriend and everything but that doesn't stop my feelings for you. I'd… I'd like to spend more time with you. Maybe that makes me a bad person in other people's eyes but you know what? Screw them! I don't care what is normal or what is moral. All I care about is what my heart tells me is right! Right now it's telling me to say that if I let this chance pass I will regret it for the rest of my life! Yui Kotegawa would you go out with me?!" Naruto forced out the sound of his heart was threatening to deafen him._ 'It's going to be like Haruna all over again… Why would she say yes?'_

"I… I'd like that too," Yui looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I see," Naruto sighed dejected. "Well that's what I… wait what?"

"I said yes," Yui looked at him. "After all… Lala-chan won our bet."

"Yui…"

"My heart…" Tears trailed down her face, "It feels like it is going to burst out of my chest. I… I think I love you Naruto Uzumaki."

"You do?" Naruto beamed like an idiot, "You do!"

"S-so…" Yui blushed. "Get out of the grave and kiss me!"

"Right!" Naruto scrambled out of the grave, his suit covered in mud but he didn't care. "Yui…"

"Naruto…" They looked at each other before their lips met in a passionate duel.

"Yui…" He cupped her chin. "Thank you."

"No…" Yui whispered, "Thank you."

"GIIIII!"

"PLEASE SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE ARMY! CALL GODZILLA!"

"…"

"…"

"Want to go to my house to get changed?"

"Yes." Yui smiled before freezing, "But we aren't doing anything shameless alright!"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Naruto smiled. "Well… okay that was a lie."

"Naruto!"

"Hahaha!" Naruto laughed at her scandalised expression

"Idiot," She muttered fondly before joining Naruto in laughing.

It had been a roller coaster of a day for both of them.


	15. Chapter 15: No DLC required

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Sorry this took a lot longer than anticipated. Now to answer some reviews.

First a few people were asking about the whole HarunaXNaruto thing. I know what I said previously but I have decided to leave that pairing up in the air. It will be put to rest in Rito's storyline as I have quite a few possible endings for that story arc. It may still happen but it might not. We will see how the story develops. I will say no more on this pairing. Riko will have a few appearances but I have a few plans for that as well.

* * *

**The Poll Results!**

1) Crashed the Wedding (Risa's Story) 95 Votes (30%)

2) Tragedy + Time (Kushina's Story) 84 Votes (26%)

3) How to Save a Life (Mikado's Story) 31 Votes (9%)

4) Hate it when you see me cry (Rin's Story) 26 Votes (8%)

5) Waking the Demon (Nana's Story) 24 (7%)

6) Try (Haruna's Story) 23 Votes (7%)

7) Bat Country (Momo's Story) 22 Votes (6%)

8) Methadone (Kyouko's Story) 11 Votes (3%)

* * *

So Risa's story line starts next chapter and Kushina's is after that. The poll is up again only this time you can pick up to four story lines and the top two are discounted. Also there are a couple of new options so… let me know what you think.

Originally Kiba had his rematch in this chapter but I cut it out because it didn't really serve any purpose that the other fight in this chapter didn't do better.

I've also been playing DBZ Xenoverse so… that explains the power levels introduced in this chapter. Please not these do not compare to the DBZ power levels. Gid is far stronger than Freiza was (At least in my canon. I'm not here to start one of those debates). Some techniques may seem a little DBZ-ish as a result.

I've tried using some Japanese attack names so we'll see if they work or not. I was thinking Japanese for the Damus Aura and Latin for the Arcangus (Y' know angels - Christianity - Latin) but we'll see. At the end of the chapter I have written all of Naruto's attacks (At the moment) so let me know what you think of the names etc.

Let's get this party started in here!

Special Thanks to Shinnagami for Beta-ing this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru.

* * *

Chapter 15: No DLC required

Naruto yawned as he woke up, instantly sensing something was wrong.

"Huh?" He blinked stupidly, "Why am I sleeping on the couch? Did I do something wrong last night?"

He staggered to his feet and made his way to his room, trying to remember what happened last night. '_Well there was the date with Yui-chan…'_

**_'In which you didn't tap that ass.'_**

_'Ah… Asmodea. I don't suppose you saw what caused me to sleep on the couch?'_

**_'I have some theories…'_ **Asmodea's silky voice sounded bemused, **_'Maybe they are annoyed that you didn't tap that ass.'_**

_'Please stop saying that.'_ Naruto rolled his eyes and entered his room. The girls were all in their usual places._ 'I don't see anything wrong. Did I say something stupid?'_

**_'Oh it was definitely something you said last night.'_ **Asmodea was on the verge of laughing.

Naruto merely scowled and entered the on suite bathroom before pausing. "Oh… That's why I was sleeping on the couch."

"N-Naruto?!" Yui desperately tried to cover herself in the shower as Naruto span around.

"Sorry!" Naruto closed his eyes, "I forgot you were here!"

**_'Yes it was when you said 'Don't worry Yui-chan it's late. You can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch.''_**

"W-what are you doing?!" Yui blushed furiously.

"I'm sorry!" Naruto made his way to the door keeping his eyes closed and reaching out for the door. "I didn't…" His hand found something soft. "Oh please tell me that isn't what I think it is."

"That depends," Momo purred. "Go on… give it a squeeze."

"W-what?!" Yui turned crimson as she saw Naruto with a hand on one of Momo's breasts. "How shameless!"

"Sorry!" Naruto jumped backwards from Momo straight into the shower with Yui.

"N-Naruto!" Yui squeaked.

"S-sorry!" Naruto turned around to apologise.

"Don't look!"

"Sorry!" Naruto turned back towards the naked Momo who was grinning at him.

"Awfully eager to jump in the shower with Yui-chan aren't you?" Momo pouted cutely. "It makes me feel jealous."

"What's going on in here?" Lala joined them in the bathroom. "Ooh let me join you!" She declared strolling towards the shower happily.

"L-Lala-san!" Yui tried her best to cover herself using the only thing available, which happened to be Naruto.

"Yui!" Naruto went red as he felt her breasts against his back.

"S-sorry!" She squeaked but didn't let go of him. "Don't look! Just… please bear with it. There is a towel nearby so we can get that and I can cover myself and let you go."

"Oh?" Lala tilted her head. "A shower hug?" She beamed. "Me too!"

"Lala!" Naruto found himself lost for words as the naked Lala hugged him, her breasts pressing against his soaked shirt whilst Yui's pressed into his back. The devilukian princess effectively halting Yui's plan before she could even begin to implement it.

_'Deep breaths!_' Naruto tried to calm himself. Poor Yui was traumatised by having so many people walk in while she was in the shower. The last thing she needed was Naruto Junior drawing attention to himself. It was fortunate that there wasn't a housemate that wanted him to react lustily and make the situation worse…. Oh that's right… Momo.

"Well aren't you a lucky boy," Momo chuckled. "That's fine set of breasts your between. Mind if I join in?" Momo undressed slowly and sensually before slowly sauntering into the bath and capturing his left arm.

Naruto closed his eyes and prayed for a miracle. At least in his mind he was safe… It wasn't as if there was a perverted spirit living inside him that could make the situation worse… Oh damn it.

_**'Well that was fast. You only just graduated from virgin and already you have your first shower orgy. Good Job!'**_

_'Not helping!'_ He mentally chastised Asmodea.

**_'Not helping would be pointing out the last time you and Lala were this close and naked you had sex then showing you your memories of the encounter… kind of like this.'_**

"Oh?" Momo smirked. "It looks like Excalibur has been drawn!"

"NARUTO!" Yui shrieked before slapping him and racing out of the room.

"…Damn it…" Naruto groaned.

"Do you need help with that?" Momo asked.

"Just… no…"

* * *

"I'm sorry," Naruto repeated as he made breakfast for everyone. His left cheek had a glowing hand print from where Yui had slapped him. They were all dressed ready for school, Lala having lent Peke to Yui.

"So you should be," Yui still had a furious blush. "Such shameless behaviour so early in the morning!"

"Stop being so uptight," Momo leaned back in her chair. "Think of it as a compliment."

"Pardon?" Yui looked confused.

"Well if you were able to provoke that sort of a reaction out of Naruto and his will of steel you clearly have something going for you."

"I…" Yui crossed her arms. "You shouldn't discuss such… immoral things!"

"Immoral?" Momo tilted her head. "You love him right?"

"I…" Yui blushed and mumbled something that might have been a very quiet yes.

"And you love her right?" Momo looked at Naruto who scratched his chin and looked away.

"Er… Yes… I guess." Naruto mumbled.

"So what's the issue?" Momo sighed, "You Earthlings make such a song and dance about sex. It is just another way of showing affection, no different from a deep kiss."

"D-deep kiss?" Yui found her breakfast very interesting judging by how intently she was staring at her plate, "Such a thing should be left until after marriage."

"Right," Nana nodded furiously. "If you have se-se-se-se… if you make love you must be married first!"

"How traditional," Momo rolled her eyes. "And boring." She stuck her tongue out.

"Really?" Lala looked confused before looking at Naruto, "Does that mean we are married?"

"…What?!" Yui staggered backwards before pointing furiously at Naruto, "You and Lala-san have had s-s-sex?!"

"Well…" Naruto tried to think of a diplomatic way to continue the conversation.

"Yes," Lala beamed, ever the diplomat. "It was amazing."

"It… I…" Yui wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"Rub it in why don't you," Momo muttered.

"So… is that why you brought me here last night?" Yui stared at the table with tears in her eyes. "Was I just to be another conquest to you? Just another notch on your bed post?"

"Of course not!" Naruto slammed his palms on the table causing everyone to jump. "You aren't just some girl who I want to have sex with. You are one of my precious people Yui-chan. I know this morning wasn't the ideal start to our relationship but I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you. Hell if you never wanted sex I would be fine with that, so long as I got to spend time with you. Yes Lala and I have had sex. It wasn't planned…"

"I totally planned it," Lala admitted.

"Way to go Onee-sama," Momo high fived her. "Just as planned!"

"…By me." Naruto continued with a sigh. "But I don't regret it. I know you probably wanted some pure knight to whisk you away and while I will try to be that knight but I do have other relationships to maintain at the same time. This may sound like some stupid excuse but believe me when I say that the fate of the Earth depends on my relationship with Lala and to a lesser extent her sisters. I love them all and I swore to protect them with my very being."

"N-Naruto," Yui blushed as she looked into his eyes and saw nothing but honest affection. "I… I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault this morning I should have locked the door and I know that you and Lala are… involved with each other. It will just… take some getting used to. I shouldn't be surprised though… You always get yourself into the worst situations to protect others and keep them happy."

"Like falling into an open grave at midnight?"

"Yeah…" Yui smiled softly. "Like that."

"I know that it all seems strange having multiple lovers but…" Naruto chuckled. "These Devilukians have strange customs."

"Don't they?" Yui agreed with a little chuckle.

"Muu…" Lala pouted, "I can't help but feel that we are being made fun of."

"Well whatever," Momo shrugged, "They seem to be happy so what is it to us what the lesser beings believe?"

"Say what?" Naruto blinked.

"Yeah let's leave the monkeys to their monkey business," Nana agreed.

"Okay I get it, no mocking the Devilukians," Naruto sighed.

"So you can be taught," Momo grinned and she took off her top, "Now these are my breasts and what you do is put them in your mouth and…"

"S-shameless!" Yui squeaked.

"Momo!" Naruto groaned. "Put your clothes back on! There's no need for that."

"Right," Lala nodded, "He already knows how to do that."

"LALA!"

Suddenly Yui couldn't take it anymore, she just started giggling and then laughing and shortly everyone was joining in.

"Your life is definitely interesting isn't it?" Yui smiled wiping away a tear.

"You can say that again," Naruto agreed.

"I'll help you." She whispered to him fondly.

"Help me?"

"It's clear you need someone to keep them in line," Yui squeezed his hand, "And as your Earth girlfriend that responsibility falls to me."

"Yui-chan…" Naruto smiled at her, "Thank you. But I warn you that keeping Momo in line is a full time job and that's before you take into account Kushina and Lala. Nana's pretty well behaved though."

"Well…" Yui kissed him softly on the cheek, "I guess that means I'll have to spend more time around your house then."

"I guess you will," Naruto agreed with a cheeky smile.

"Great," Kushina grumbled, "Another freeloader eating my food."

"I can't live here," Yui corrected her. "It… It wouldn't be right for two people who aren't married to live under the same roof like this."

"So we are married then," Lala glanced at Naruto who shook his head softly.

"But… I can arrive early to walk to school with you," Yui smiled, "And spend time here after school."

"That's great," Naruto gave Yui a brief hug.

"Yeah," Momo grinned. "That means that at night you won't be able to interrupt our fun and games."

"I'll get the handcuffs and the chocolate sauce!" Kushina declared.

"Do… Do I even want to know?" Yui asked weakly.

"Probably not," Naruto picked up his school bag. "It is probably something shameless."

Yui giggled as she followed Naruto out of the house, closely followed by Lala.

* * *

"Good morning Lala-san, Uzumaki-san… Kotegawa-san?" Haruna blinked as the group approached her.

"Morning," Naruto rubbed his sore cheek. "How are you Sarenji-san?"

"I'm fine thank you," Haruna paused, "That looks painful."

"Oh this?" Naruto laughed, "It was kind of self-inflicted."

"I see," Haruna chose not to comment, "It is strange to see you with Uzumaki-san so early."

"W-well," Yui looked embarrassed. "It's quite clear that I can't let him out of my sight less he do something shameless."

"Uzumaki-san isn't like that," Haruna shook her head.

"Thanks Sarenji-san," Naruto smiled.

"Can I ask something?" Yui turned to Haruna.

"Yes?"

"Why do you refer to Naruto-san so formally?"

"Eh?" Haruna looked awkward, "It's… well… It's embarrassing."

"…What?"

"To talk to a boy so informally," Haruna twiddled her hair with her fingers.

"Oh," Yui blinked. "I see."

"Besides your one to speak," Naruto pointed out, "You could just refer to me as Naruto you know? There is no need for the –san."

"IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED!" A familiar voice declared from behind the group.

"…Good morning Kenichi." Naruto sighed as he turned to see his self-proclaimed disciple.

"Truly even the Tyrant of the School Corridor's icy heart was no match for the blazing manly passion of the Ultimate Action Sage!"

"Translation please?"

"The school is abuzz with gossip that you two are dating!" Kenichi declared.

"W-what?" Yui's heart seemed to stop, _'Everyone is going to think I am a shameless harlot going out with someone who is already dating someone.'_

"That was awfully quick," Naruto scowled. "That Suki must have had something to do with it."

"Suki?"

"Saki," Naruto corrected himself. "Either her or Rin as they were the only people who go to our school who were there on our date."

"You have my sincerest apologies," Kenichi bowed his head to Lala.

"Why?" Lala looked confused.

"I know that it must be hard, having been in a relationship with the Manly Sage and losing him… but that's just life." Kenichi pulled a rose from his uniform, "Here a token of my love for you!"

"I'm still dating Naruto though," Lala tilted her head.

"You are?" Kenichi went pale before smiling weakly at Naruto, "I wasn't hitting on her honest!"

"Do you know who started that rumour?" Lala seemed annoyed.

"I shall look into it immediately!" Kenichi declared before running away.

"When I find the person who made such a horrible rumour," Lala clenched her fists.

"Well…" Naruto fidgeted awkwardly. "In order to protect Yui's reputation when we had our date I had to tell Suki that we had kind of… broken up."

"We… We broke up?!" Lala staggered backwards.

"No!" Naruto grabbed her arm. "It was just a lie!"

"You'd lie about that?" Lala looked genuinely hurt.

"The same way you lied about betting Yui we'd break up if you lost your bet with her." Naruto replied.

"But…" Lala flinched. "That was for you own good!"

"And this was for Yui-chan's good." Naruto crossed his arms. "I was meant to tell you last night but after everything I kind of forgot."

"Muu…" Lala's shoulders slumped. "But… We aren't actually broken up right?"

"Right."

"Good!" Lala cheered up instantly.

"So… you are dating two people… at the same time…" Haruna mumbled.

"That's right."

"And they are both okay with that?" Haruna asked.

"Of course." Lala nodded. "I like Yui-chan."

"It's not that I am fully in favour of it," Yui blushed, "But I do care for Naruto and I am willing to give it a try for him."

"Thanks Yui-chan," Naruto smiled and gave her a quick hug causing the raven haired beauty to go bright red.

"Jiiiiiiiii…." Lala stared at Naruto.

"And thanks to you too," Naruto laughed as he gave her a hug which she eagerly returned.

"I love you," Lala whispered lovingly as she broke the hug.

"I know," Naruto responded fondly.

"Huh," Haruna stared off into space.

"Is something the matter Haruna-chan?" Lala glanced at her friend.

"No… just thinking." Haruna smiled as they continued the journey to school._ 'Sharing someone you love… I wonder if Risa and I could ever do that.'_ She shook her head furiously. 'But that wouldn't be fair on Yuuki-kun…' She glanced at Naruto who was chatting animatedly with Lala as Yui shook her head with a slight smile, _'But was my choice really fair on Uzumaki-kun? Not that it seems to have hurt him in the long run,'_ she sighed sadly. "What's done is done."

"Huh?" Naruto glanced at Haruna who blushed.

"Sorry just thinking aloud."

* * *

"Okay… What the hell is going on here?" Naruto rubbed his forehead. He had just bid Yui good bye and entered his classroom to find a giant basket on his desk.

"Manly Sage," Kenichi put a hand on his shoulder. "Truly your harem is expanding at an alarming rate."

"Dearest Naruto," Naruto read the card attached, "It has come to my attention that the cruel witch Lala has broken up with you and in an attempt to stay in a relationship you have started dating the Tyrant of the School Corridors. Know that true love can still be yours, love your secret admirer." He flipped the card over, "From the Desk of Saki Tenjouin. So much for a secret admirer." He chuckled.

"The Queen of Sainan High?!" Kenichi gasped.

"Who?" Rito joined Kenichi and Naruto.

"She is a noble who is super fit!" Kenichi nodded. "She used to be the most popular girl in school until Lala showed up."

"She also kidnapped me once," Naruto remarked pausing only as his phone went off. "Huh?"

[You were warned.] –Psycho Maid.

"Well that doesn't sound good," Naruto frowned.

"NARUTO!" Yui's yell was heard quite clearly.

"Oh… that sounds even worse."

"Who is this?" Lala asked as she showed her phone to Naruto.

"It's that damn maid," Naruto groaned. "She took pictures of me when I was unconscious and used them as blackmail against me. Still how the hell does she know what I am saying? This is a new phone! I've changed the number and everything!"

The door to the classroom was practically kicked off of its hinges and Yui stomped towards him.

"Explain," She scowled.

"I was kidnapped and the maid took pictures of me in poses like that whilst I was unconscious," Naruto replied.

"Likely…" Yui paused. _'Come to think of it Naruto has always been truthful before no matter how unlikely the truth it and he did say that he had been kidnapped once before but changed his tone after receiving a text. Maybe… Maybe he isn't lying here. No… I know he isn't. I can feel it.'_ Yui closed her eyes. "This… maid. Where could I find her?"

"She's the one who we met at the dance that time," Naruto reminded her. "Don't do anything though, this was the only thing she had against me and now she's used it."

"Ohohohohoh!" A shrill laugh interrupted Yui and Naruto's conversation.

"Suki Tenjouin," Naruto sighed.

"Saki!" Saki snapped before instantly reverted to her cheerful expression, "I hope you enjoy the fruit basket! Just know that it contains my feelings for you."

"A quick question," Naruto cleared his throat, "Did that maid of yours prepare this?"

"Who Hanabi?" Saki nodded, "Yes she helped me. Both her and my new chef Kabuto helped me prepare this."

"Right," Naruto tossed one of the apples out of the window.

"Why did you…" Saki started until an explosion was sounded from outside. "Oh… That's odd. I didn't know apples did that."

"Your maid doesn't like me," Naruto smiled, "Thanks for the gift but I am perfectly happy in the relationship I am in at the moment."

"Now, now," Saki unbuttoned her shirt to reveal more cleavage, "You don't have to hold yourself back." She became aware of the hungry eyes of the other male students but Naruto seemed completely unaffected. In fact he buttoned her shirt back up.

"A young lady of your standing shouldn't be dressing so shamelessly," Naruto smiled softly.

"Eh?" Saki blinked. "But…" She started biting her thumb, "Fine… You win this round Deviluke-san!" She started out of the room, "And you too Kotegawa-san!"

"Me?" Yui looked confused, "What have I done?"

"She seems nice," Lala smiled as she raided Naruto's fruit basket. "Ooh what's this? A clock?"

"Oh that's C4 on a timer." Naruto replied. "Wait what?!" He looked at the ticking time bomb in Lala's grasp. "Throw it away!"

"Okay!" Lala saluted him and hurled it out a window as hard as she could.

"Wow," Mio whistled. "You have a good throwing arm Lala-chi!"

"Hehehe," Lala looked embarrassed.

"This maid is trying to kill you," Yui deadpanned. "How are you so calm?"

"To be honest Yui-chan half of the galaxy wants me dead. At least Hanabi uses methods I am familiar with… well not exactly familiar but at least they make sense to me."

"Are you alright?" Haruna asked.

"I'm fine," Naruto scowled. "But it looks like I will have to confront that maid at some point. I'd best dispose of this fruit first."

"Be careful!" Yui advised.

"Shouldn't you be in your homeroom?" Naruto asked. "I'd hate for you to get into trouble over me."

"Oh no!" Yui blinked, "I completely forgot about that!" She ran out of the classroom, followed by a chuckling Naruto who made his way out with the fruit basket.

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna murmured watching him go.

"So… Does this mean the fruit is poisoned?" Kenichi asked. "I skipped breakfast so grabbed a little bite to eat out of the basket."

"It might be," Rito shrugged. "Do you feel ill?"

"I might," Kenichi blinked. "I've kind of eaten two apples and four bananas."

"Alas," Rito sighed softly, "My poor friend Kenichi, I knew him well."

"Don't speak about me as if I'm dead."

"He was a pervert, but a good person," Mio joined in.

"I'm not dead yet!" Kenichi howled.

"I'll have Naruto carry your coffin, you'd like that right?" Rito grinned.

"I hate you guys!"

* * *

Naruto sighed as he sat on the roof, his dinner resting on his lap. He had come up here to clear his mind. Yui had duties to attend to and Lala had decided to help her new 'sister' out.

_'I wonder if Gid has anything planned…'_ Naruto laid back and stared at the sky,_ 'He's probably up there somewhere plotting some new hell for me. One day I'll kick his ass and then Lala, Momo and Nana won't have to deal with this suitor nonsense.'_ He scowled,_ 'And I won't have to be on my guard as much. Momo mentioned that her suitor was nearby and that I should keep my eyes open but she doesn't know anything about him other than his moniker of 'The Concealed Serpent' which is less than helpful. Maybe I should ask Mikado.'_

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna peered out of the door to the roof, "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sarenji-san," Naruto smiled weakly, "Sure feel free. I was just deep in thought."

"That isn't like you," Haruna smiled softly as she sat down near him and pulled out her own lunchbox. "You were always the 'act first, think later' kind of person."

"Hah," Naruto nodded in agreement, "I guess being in a relationship means I have to actually think more. If I get hurt it is more than me who suffers now I guess."

"There was always someone who would be hurt by you getting injured," Haruna shook her head.

"Oh?"

"Well… Uzumaki-sensei is fond of you and you are one of my closest friends," Haruna looked at her meal with a sad smile, "Remember when we always used to swap dinners?"

"Of course," Naruto chuckled. "Your sister went through a phase where she would prepare your meals right? But she wasn't the best cook."

"But you would eat her meal and let me have yours." Haruna finished softly. "She likes you."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"Not like that!" Haruna quickly corrected herself. "I meant she likes you as a person."

"She does?" Naruto frowned. "We never really talk that much… well the last time she spoke she seemed worried that we were growing apart."

"Pardon?"

"She thought that you and I weren't spending as much time together as we used to."

"Well that's true," Haruna nodded. "You are busy with Lala-chan… and I suppose Yui-chan now as well."

"Heh," Naruto ran a hand through his hair with a cheesy grin. "I guess that's true. I never thought I would find myself in this position."

"What position?"

"The position where I actually have two girlfriends who both care for me and are willing to work together rather than fight against each other."

"Yes…" Haruna stared at the sky, "I wonder how things would be if I had said yes back then."

There was a sudden shift in mood as Naruto's features darkened slightly. "Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answers to." He stood up. "What's done is done. No point picking at an old scab. Looking back only causes you to doubt the actions you've taken."

"You're right," Haruna bowed her head, "Sorry for…"

"Don't," Naruto shook his head. "That's the past," He grinned and offered a hand to help Haruna stand up which she accepted. "Anyway… Have you seen Risa at all today?"

"No…" Haruna frowned softly. "She sent me a message saying she had family business to attend to."

"Oh right," Naruto nodded, "The Momioka family is actually a noble one right? Not that you could tell from Risa."

"Indeed," Haruna nodded. "Although…"

"What?"

"They have fallen on hard times of late," Haruna bit her lip nervously. "Apparently they have lost a fair bit of money on bad ventures. There has been talk of desperate moves to save the family's social standing."

"Desperate moves?" Naruto frowned.

"I don't know more," Haruna sounded apologetic. "Risa-chan wouldn't say anymore."

"I see," Naruto closed his eyes, "Well… If she needs our help I'm sure she'll ask."

"I hope it isn't anything major." Haruna frowned as they walked back into the classroom.

* * *

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly. As the bell rang Naruto made his way to the nurse's office after telling Lala and Yui that they could wait for him at home as he wasn't going to be long.

"Hello?" He knocked on the door to the nurse's office.

"Hello?" Mikado called out.

"It's me Naruto," Naruto cleared his throat, "Can I come inside?"

"Depends if you're wearing protection or not."

"Eh?" Naruto frowned.

"…Never mind. Just come in." Mikado sighed.

"I was wondering…" Naruto froze.

"Yes?" Mikado crossed her arms. She was wearing a black lacy bra and panties with stockings under a lab coat that was wide open, revealing her sexy attire.

"Sorry!" Naruto span around. "I didn't realise you were getting changed."

"I heard you coming and got prepared." Mikado smiled slyly. "So how can I help you Naruto-kun?"

"Er…" Naruto coughed, "Do you know anything about a Concealed Serpent? He's an assassin who might be after me."

"Hmm…" Mikado reached into her lab coat and pulled out a small electronic tablet. She tapped the screen and a small holographic display appeared before them. "Let's see… the Concealed Serpent." A blurred picture appeared above the tablet. "Real name unknown, Species unknown, Gender unknown. Rumoured to be the Suitor of Momo Belia Deviluke."

"Anything useful?" Naruto asked.

"Well…" Mikado adjusted the screen, "He or she has been reported to have had a hand in several high profile assassinations."

"Why the hell did Gid even let him become Momo's suitor?" Naruto frowned.

"Because he's the last one standing," Mikado replied honestly. "Few people would want to marry a devilukian princess who could not give them an heir and the few that did were easily removed by this Serpent. If it counts for anything they should have been married by now but Gid prevented it."

"One thing's for sure," Naruto scowled, "I can't let this Serpent character kill me."

"Agreed," Mikado sat down in a chair. "Your health is very important as a potential heir to the devilukian throne. So it's time for a health check."

"Eh what?"

"Listen… your genetic structure is undergoing a constant change. It is important that I can track your development so I can identify any possible complications."

"Oh," Naruto paused, "That actually sounds legit."

"Of course it is," Mikado looked affronted. "I am a doctor after all."

"Oh… Sorry," Naruto smiled weakly.

"Now undress please."

"Er… Do I have to?" Naruto blinked.

"If it makes you feel better I can get naked too…"

"No thank you!" Naruto quickly undressed.

"Right then," Mikado looked him up and down. "Not bad." She pointed the tablet at him and a beam of light scanned him up and down. "And done."

"That's it?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes this can scan you even through clothes," Mikado smiled.

"Then why am I naked?" Naruto asked.

"For this," She smiled as the tablet flashed and she took a picture of the naked Naruto. "Don't worry this is for personal use."

"P-personal?!" Naruto quickly got dressed as Mikoto looked at the scans.

"Hmm…" Mikado frowned, "Are you sexually active?"

"Is there are reason you're asking?"

"The scan has picked up certain readings… If you've had sex I need to find your partner immediately."

"Yeah," Naruto looked worried, "Lala and I we… well... you know. Do I have something contagious?"

"Oh no you are perfectly healthy," Mikado smiled. "There were just traces of foreign DNA on your body and I was curious."

"Gargh!" Naruto closed his eyes as his face burned in embarrassment.

"Your DNA is becoming more Devilukian though…" Mikado frowned. "That could cause you problems later on."

"How so?"

"Well… Devilukians are more primal in their nature. I'm sure you noticed that the princesses quickly decided that they were marrying you right? A human tends to take some time to actually fall in love and decided to get married. Devilukians just know. They trust their instincts and when they've found someone they go after them with everything they've got."

"So what are you saying?"

"Look at me," Mikado stood up leaving her lab coat behind.

"Huh?" Naruto looked at her. "You're practically naked!"

"I know," She walked towards him seductively. "And you like it don't you?"

"Well," Naruto tried to pull his eyes away but found it hard.

"Now you used to run away when I approached you like this," She wrapped her arms around him neck and pressed her breasts into his chest. "And doing this would have you stammering like a fool."

"Well," Naruto gulped. "I guess I am getting used to such close contact."

"Don't you want to do things to me?" Mikado whispered.

_**'Yes you do! Throw her on that bed damn it!'**_

"I don't think that would be right." Naruto put his hands on her and pushed.

**_'Then why are you copping a feel?'_**

"My, my!" Mikado smiled. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Sorry!" Naruto pulled his hands away blushing.

"Don't stop on my account." Mikado laughed gently. "I'm glad to see you are still you though. The more devilukian you become the more… sexually aggressive you will become."

"Aggressive?!"

"Ah not like that," Mikado laughed. "You're not going to become a rapist. If a woman offers you sex you will find it harder and harder to say no. Your devilukian genes will urge you to… spread your seed."

"Eh?!"

"All male devilukians are very sexually active." Mikado crossed her legs. "It is recommended that you… seek release more regularly as you become more devilukian. Sex starved male devilukians tend to get a little… weird. The females have no such problems which is why almost all high government positions are occupied by women."

"Weird in what way?"

"It varies from person to person. If you have a good enough distraction then you will appear normal until that distraction is lost. Just remember," Mikado unclipped her bra causing Naruto to spin around and stare at the door. "If you need someone to help you… relieve yourself, it's my duty to ensure your wellbeing."

"Er…well… Gotta go!" Naruto charged out of the room.

"Fufufufu," Mikado dropped the bra, her breasts hidden by a smaller bra. "Even after having sex you are still so easy to tease." She frowned softly, "I hope that you take my words to heart though."

* * *

Naruto was still blushing slightly when he walked into his house.

"Hey I'm home," He called out as he entered the room.

"Naru-kun!"

"Kyo-chan?" Naruto blinked, "What are you doing here?"

"Momo-chan invited me," Kyouko shrugged. "Something about a game night."

"That's right!" Lala joined the two child hood friends in the main living room. "It's based on the game I made!"

"Oh?" Naruto smiled, "I'm kind of curious what devilukian games are like."

"Well today is your lucky day!" Momo declared. "Follow me!"

Naruto followed the devilukian princess into the danger room. There were several chairs with strange attachments that looked like hair dryers Naruto had seen in the local hair dressers.

"Welcome!" Momo declared. "To the Ultimate Game of Ultimate Destiny! In this we use state of the art virtual reality to put you in the game!"

"That sounds interesting," Naruto smiled.

"Introducing our contestants today!" Momo grinned. "She's cute and cuddly! The one and only Nana Astar Deviluke!"

"I didn't agree to this!" Nana exclaimed.

"She's a shy little wallflower but will she bloom today? It's Haruna Sarenji!"

"Er… I hope I'm not a hindrance." Haruna blushed.

"She's the Tyrant of the School Corridor! Yui Kotegawa!"

"Who calls me that?" Yui scowled. "When I find out who started that nickname…"

"His only skill is falling over… It's Rito Yuuki!"

"Is that really all I'm good for?" Rito's shoulders slumped.

"She's the heiress of the strongest empire in history, it's Lala Satalin Deviluke!"

"Ready and waiting!" Lala saluted.

"She's the kinkiest MILF you'll ever meet, Kushina Uzumaki!"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but Naruto excites me." Kushina nodded sagely.

"She's the magical girl who you all love, Kyouko Kirisaki!"

"This ought to be interesting," Kyouko smiled.

"And we all love him, the wielder of Excalibur, defiler of virgins and liberated of captured princesses! Naruto Uzumaki!"

"I… I don't know what to say to that," Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"You all agreed to play this game but none of you know the prize… Here it is!" She produced a large box with a question mark on it. "The winner gets what's in this box! First of all I need you to sit in the indicated chairs!" Momo watched as the players all sat down and lowered the hair dryer attachments over their heads. "And now… the game begins!"

* * *

"Whoa," Naruto looked around impressed. He seemed to be stood in some sort of medieval village with the other players. They were gathered on a giant square that had a 0 on it. "Is this a training Gi?" Naruto looked at his appearance in a mirror. He was wearing a bright orange loose fitting vest and trousers with a white shirt underneath.

"Oooh!" Lala beamed, "You look good like that!" The eldest princess was wearing a golden tiara and a beautiful white wedding dress.

"You look good too," Naruto smiled before turning to the others.

"T-this outfit!" Yui blushed. She was wearing blue plate armour, although it only covered the bare minimum like a plate mail bikini. "It's so shameless!"

"You look… good," Naruto mumbled as he scratched a chin.

"You like it?" Yui paused with a blush on her face. "Well… I guess it isn't that bad…"

"W-w-what is this?!" Nana exclaimed. She was wearing what looked like a fur boob tube and some leather hot pants. Her once devilukian tail was now a furry cat's tail and two twitching cat ears were atop of her head.

"Damn it Momo," Naruto grumbled under his breath as he looked away with a blush, "Are you trying to get me to develop a new fetish or something?"

"W-what?!" Nana's ears twitched as she looked at Naruto embarrassed.

"Oh… you heard that?" Naruto coughed. "Er… Well you see…"

"So this is an alien game?" Rito looked around. He was wearing a peasant's outfit.

"It is very realistic," Haruna nodded. She was wearing a suit of chain mail that covered most of her body.

"Hehehehe…." Kushina grinned. She was wearing black plate armour that covered most of her body but her chest and groin with only bandages binding her chest and forming panties. "This is going to be good I can tell!"

"Why does everyone get a cool outfit but me?" Kyouko pouted. She was just wearing the witch cosplay that she always wore.

"Okay everybody!" Momo's voice sounded from all around. "This is a little board game that I thought up using Onee-sama's game technology! Each player takes it in turn to roll a dice. Each square has a scenario on it that the players on that square have to act out at the end of the turn. So… ready to begin?"

"Sure," Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Let's do this!"

No sooner had he spoken than a giant dice appeared in front of him.

"Attack the die to roll it!" Momo ordered.

"Fair enough!" He grinned as he punched the six sided dice causing it to spin around before landing on a six.

* * *

"So now for the event for those of you on square six!" Momo declared.

Naruto and Yui glanced around as the village turned into a wide open field. There was cherry blossoms in the air but no tree for them to be falling from.

"It's the Love-Love Confession event!" Momo declared.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "But I've already confessed to Yui."

"Well then this will be easy for you won't it. All you have to do is confess your feelings for each other and kiss. Simple right?"

"I guess," Naruto rubbed his chin. "Yui-chan."

"Y-yes?"

Naruto took her hand and smiled, "I love you."

"I…" Yui blushed crimson. "I love you too…"

"And kiss!" Momo prompted.

"Yui-chan," Naruto whispered as he cupped her chin to make her look at him. "You don't mind right?"

"W-well… If it's you…" Yui mumbled.

"Great," Naruto leaned forwards and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"That's it?" Momo sounded disappointed. "No tongue?"

"Momo!" Yui blushed.

"Fine, fine." Momo sighed, "No forfeits for you then."

"Forfeits?"

"Oh yes!" Momo sounded delighted. "If you can't do the task assigned you have to take a random forfeit… or leave the game if you'd prefer."

"… Suddenly I am very aware of the fact that you planned this game," Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"Aww you're making me blush," Momo chuckled. "Anyway… Let the games continue!"

* * *

"And for your event!" Momo sounded to be enjoying herself which worried Rito on some primal level. He and Haruna had both ended up rolling a four and found themselves in some sort of church confession room. "The Dark-Dark Confession Event!"

"That doesn't sound good," Rito gulped.

"There's nothing to worry about," Momo's voice was sickly sweet. "All you have to do is agree to the event and the program will do the rest. The event is to confess your darkest secret to each other. Once you agree the program will search you memory and find the secret it feels is most appropriate and force you to say it however only you and the other player will hear it. Even I won't know what you said. You could choose a forfeit or leave the game instead if you'd prefer though."

_'If I accept it might make me confess to Haruna-chan!'_ Rito glanced at the nervous looking Haruna. _'This… This could be a chance to make sure I confess!'_

_'My darkest secret…'_ Haruna looked worried._ 'Do I really want to reveal something like that in front of Yuuki-kun?'_ She glanced at Rito who looked determined,_ 'If only it was Naruto I was paired with. I know he would accept me regardless.'_ She sighed weakly.

"I accept," Rito declared.

"I refuse," Haruna shook her head.

"Okay then… first things first let's see what Haruna-chan's forfeit is!" A giant spinner appeared in front of the Haruna with various icons and started spinning. "Just say stop when you are ready."

"S—Stop!" Haruna called out and the spinner instantly stopped on an icon of an invisible shirt.

"Ohoh!" Momo sounded pleased. "Remove one item of clothing or you can quit the game if you'd prefer!"

"I'll… I'll remove this coat," Haruna discarded the top layer of chain mail revealing a chain vest beneath it.

"And now… Over to Rito!"

"Urgh!" Rito felt as if someone else was controlling his body and reaching into his memories. It wasn't painful but it was uncomfortable. "I hate how easy Naruto finds it to talk to you. I always struggle to find the words to say when we are together yet Naruto could easily carry a conversation with you. I hate myself for hating Naruto…" His body shuddered as he fell to his knees. "What… What?!" _'That wasn't a confession at all!'_

"Yuuki-kun," Haruna looked worried, "Do you not like Uzumaki-san?"

"And I'm back," Momo grinned and the dice reappeared. "Roll again!"

* * *

Kushina panted as the last of the robots before her was destroyed. "I have become Death! Destroyer of Worlds!" She declared with a maniacal laugh.

"Wow…" Momo sounded genuinely impressed. "Are you sure you don't have some devilukian DNA in you?"

"None besides that Naruto put in me." Kushina replied smugly.

"What was that?"

"Er… Nothing," Kushina laughed.

"Have you had sex with Naruto?!"

"Well…" Kushina rubbed the back of her head, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you though."

"Did you… molest him as a child?"

"HELL NO!" Kushina made an X with her arms.

"Just because he gave consent doesn't make it legal if he is underage."

"I am not a shotacon!" She declared. "I am a Naruto-con!"

"… Just roll the damn dice," Momo sighed.

* * *

In the middle of a dense forest, two of the players were running with all haste.

"How did this even happen?!" Kyouko clutched the fragments of her clothes to her chest as she ran away from several green slimes that were moving deceptively fast towards her. "All I wanted to do was play a game with Naru-chan!"

"When I get out of the game!" Nana had tears in her eyes, her modesty protected by plasters over her nipples and a bikini bottom. "I'll get my revenge on you Momo!"

"What was that?" Momo's voice sounded amused. "You want more slimes trying to dissolve your clothes and you want them to move faster? Well if you insist."

"DAMN YOU!"

* * *

"Square number 44!" Momo called out as Naruto and Nana stood together in what looked like an old fashioned western living room complete with log fire. "Are you ready for your event?"

"If this has slimes again," Nana grumbled.

"Slimes?" Naruto asked.

"Don't want to talk about it," Nana grumbled.

"This event is called the happy kitty event!" Momo declared.

"That sounds interesting," Naruto grinned.

"I wonder what it is," Nana's face brightened up. "Maybe we have to look after a kitty."

"Oh that is true in a way," Momo seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

"Then I accept!" Nana declared.

"Me too," Naruto nodded.

"Hehehehe…" Momo laughed evilly as Nana suddenly went stiff before dropping onto all fours.

"Er… Nana?" Naruto walked towards her.

"Nya?" Nana turned to look at him and tilted her head with a curious expression.

"Momo…" Naruto glanced at the ceiling, "What's going on?"

"The happy kitty event!" Momo laughed, "Nana has become a little kitty and you have to look after her!"

"Er… How do I clear this event?"

"When I decide you've cleared it."

"Ah…"

"Nya," Nana crawled over to Naruto and rubbed her head against his leg.

"Er…" Naruto scratched his head uncertainly before stroking her behind one of the neko ears. "Good girl?"

"Nya!" Nana purred with happiness as Naruto stroked her head.

"Aww... Isn't she cute!" Momo chuckled. "I wonder what happens if I do this?"

Suddenly a red laser pointer appeared on the floor and Nana pounced on the dot, slapping it with her hand and looking confused. The dot started to move with Nana chasing it around on all fours.

"So is Nana aware of what she's doing?" Naruto asked.

"Yup," Momo laughed darkly. "And I'm recording this for future blackmailing opportunities!"

"Don't pick on your sister," Naruto shook his head.

"Spoil all my fun why don't you?" Momo pouted. "Oh well… I will end the event and delete the evidence if you promise to go on a date with me."

"Fine," Naruto shook his head, "If you wanted to go on a date you didn't need to set up this elaborate game. I would love to take you on a date." He closed his eyes and shook his head and was thus completely unaware when the red laser dot landed on his crotch.

"Nya!" Nana tackled him to the ground and started patting his groin trying to get the red dot. "Nya?" She started to nudge his crotch with her nose.

"Well she seems to have found something she likes!" Momo cackled. "And cleared!"

"Nya?" Nana blinked then went bright red, "MOMO!" She glared at Naruto with tears in her eyes. "This never happened."

"That's a shame," Naruto ruffled her hair, "You were cute."

"C-cute," Nana looked away blushing. "You would like something like that." She walked away and looked over her shoulder accusingly. "I'll bet you and Momo cooked up this plan together. Shameless beast!" She stuck out her tongue and rolled the dice that had appeared before them before glancing at Naruto hesitantly before making a pawing motion and going, "Nya!"

She tried to tell herself that she didn't enjoy the blush that appeared in Naruto's face.

* * *

Momo nodded as the program started mimicking her for Naruto and Nana's event. "Looks like the program is working well." She narrowed her eyes and left the Danger room, making sure to seal the door behind her. She left the house and walked down the streets, checking her location on her D-Dial. Eventually she found herself in an abandoned warehouse.

"So we meet again my beloved angel of death."

Momo narrowed her eyes. "So you are here then."

"Such a hostile tone." Kabuto stepped out from the shadows wearing a cloak that hid his entire body from her. "You shouldn't take that tone with me."

"I'm not afraid of you," Momo growled.

"You should be," Kabuto laughed.

"What are you… Urgh…" Momo fell down to one knee. "What?"

"Foolish little girl," Kabuto laughed, "You actually walked to a location I had specified knowing I had time to plan for your arrival. The poison in your lungs is causing you to slowly lose consciousness. Don't worry though… when you awake I will have freed you from your imprisonment."

"W-what?"

"That seal that is stopping you from being all that you should be, I will remove it and you will become the berserker you are meant to be!" Kabuto lifted her chin up. "Now how about a kiss for your future husband?"

"Get… bent…" Momo growled as she struggled to move her body, watching in horror as Kabuto's lips edged closer. "Stop…"

"If you weren't imprisoned then this poison would be nothing for you to overcome." Kabuto remarked. "But you are weak… you are so weak that you distracted the only person who could have possibly saved you because you are scared to lose him. You are full of fear and you reek of weakness. I will shape you to be the ultimate weapon and when you kill Naruto you will be free. Free of your weakness."

"So that's your plan." Momo grinned evilly and looked at Kabuto, "You plan to release my berserker and get me to kill Naruto."

"What… But the poison…"

"My name is Momo Deviluke," Momo growled as a red symbol appeared on her hand, "And mine is the crest of Belia." In a surge of red energy Kabuto was forced to leap backwards. The sheer intensity of the aura made him shiver with lust.

"This power…" He licked his lips. "I will have it!"

When the red energy subsided Momo was stood levitating off the ground. Curved horns protruded from her head and wings of black spread out from behind her. Slitted red eyes watched Kabuto as if he were an interesting insect.

**"Oh me oh my."** She purred.** "What do we have here? A little rodent has caused my outer form to ask me for assistance? Do me a favour and die."** Extending a single finger she collected a small orb of red energy on her finger.** "Oni Supaiku** (AN: Demon Spike)" The orb turned to a cruel crimson shard of glass that tore towards Kabuto digging deep into his shoulder.

"Argh!" He cried out in pain. It felt as if every fibre of his body was on fire.

**"Oh are you in pain,**" Belia-Momo licked her lips,** "Your face… The pained look on your face… Oh I feel so horny… Maybe I should find this Naruto that the outer seems to have such strong feelings for."**

"I… I would be a better choice for you." Kabuto gritted his teeth as he pulled out the crimson shard from his shoulder. "We are similar."

**"Oh?"**

"We both enjoy the pain of others."

**"Oh?"** Belia-Momo laughed cruelly, **"You think you are worthy of this body?"** She trailed a finger down her body. **"You are wrong."** All traces of humour vanished from her face, **"You are a lowly worm, a pathetic little insect. You have already exhausted what entertainment you could have offered me. Be gone. Oni Supaiku!"** Another blood red gem struck Kabuto in the leg causing him to cry out as the unnatural pain flooded his body.

"This… This isn't the end!" Kabuto vanished, using a smoke bomb to cover his escape.

"**Coward,"** Belia-Momo scowled. **"I tire of this plane of existence. I shall retire."** There was another furious blast of energy and Momo fell to her knees panting. "Urgh… I hate letting her out." She looked around. "Damn, he got away." She scowled. "Next time he won't be so lucky." She left the warehouse where a disinterested looking Yami was waiting.

"You didn't require my assistance then." She stated calmly.

"No," Momo paused. "Do you think you could look into where he could be hiding?"

"He intends to kill my target," Yami stated. "I cannot allow that. I will investigate him."

"Thanks Yami-chan."

"It is my purpose." She stated bluntly. "I need no thanks."

"Right," Momo shook her head. "I hope Naruto breaks you out of this assassin's mind-set you have. Speaking of which I wonder if they've made it to the final battle… I hope Zastin holds back. What's the point of a game you can't win after all?"

* * *

"Naruto!" Lala cried out in alarm as he skidded across the floor.

"Damn it," He staggered to his feet. His orange training Gi was badly damaged showing off most of his torso. Yui was panting heavily and kneeling off to one side. Kyouko was passed out on the floor with swirls in her eyes.

"This is a lot harder than I was expecting," Kushina staggered to her feet. "You were so much easier to beat the first time we met."

"Well It is the final boss," Momo crossed her arms smugly. "It was never going to be easy to beat him." She glanced at Zastin who was looking apologetic.

"Man this is far too hard for a video game," Naruto remarked. "Is this Dark Souls three or something?"

"Think of this as training. There are assassins out there that you can't deal with. Ones that are strong enough to kill you without a second's hesitation. As you stand if Lala's strongest suitor decided to fight you he could kill you with minimal effort." Momo's voice started to break. "Even now there is the Serpent suitor of mine who is plotting your death. If anything were to happen to you…"

"Nothing will," Naruto promised as he felt his red aura rapidly healing his wounds.

"This is just a simulation," Momo reminded him. "You can't kill anyone nor can you die so don't be afraid of mixing it up a little. Zastin is holding back enough as it is."

"I am only fighting a 20% of my true capability Naruto-dono." Zastin flourished his sword. "Lala-sama's strongest suitor can easily defeat me at 100%. If you were to assign a number to my power with a human being 1, at 100% I would be 150. Her strongest suitor is a 250."

"And me?" Naruto asked.

"When using the Damus Aura… I'd say around 25." Zastin adjusted his grip on his sword. "At least that's what I'd assume judging by the difficulty you are having." He flickered out of existence and kicked Naruto in the ribs before the boy had chance to react. "Your reactions are severely lacking Naruto-dono."

"Damn it," Naruto growled. "Try this on for size!" He held out his palm at Zastin with his other hand holding his wrist, "Akuma Yari! (Devil Spear)" With a fierce screech that sent Naruto skidding back a few feet, a furious red beam tore towards Zastin at a speed that was hard to follow.

"Impressive," Zastin smiled as he blocked the attack with a gesture of his sword. "It took me to raise my level to 30% in order to negate that attack."

"Akuma Yari?" Lala glanced at Naruto.

"Well I thought it sounded better than crimson cannon," Naruto mumbled. "Kusanagi!" A crimson blade appeared in his hands.

"To challenge a swords master in his field of expertise is madness," Zastin frowned.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto grinned. "Unfortunately for you I have a few tricks up my sleeves!" Naruto charged Zastin who took up a defensive position. "Kawarimi!"

"What?" Zastin blinked as Naruto flickered out of existence and blocked the attack at his head. "A most interesting ability Naruto-dono." Zastin smiled softly as he repelled Naruto's attack. "Teleporting behind an opponent is a good way to catch them off guard but not good enough for me however."

"Well I'm just full of tricks!" Naruto grinned as he hurled the crimson blade into the air. "Akuma Danmaku (Devil's Barrage)!" There was a crackle of energy and the blade exploded into countless small red blasts that all peppered Zastin and forced him back.

"When… When did you learn to do that?" Zastin asked as the barrage subsided.

"Every moment that I am not sleeping or being with the girls," Naruto clenched his fists. "I am training my ass off. I know I am just a frail little human and that there are people out there who are stronger than me and will stop at nothing to claim Lala, Momo and Nana as their own." His nails dug into his own palms drawing blood. "And I know I only get one chance. If I lose that's it." His fierce blue eyes fixed themselves on Zastin. "That's why I can't afford to fail. I will do everything in my power to protect them, to keep them happy. You said that I was a 25 as I am right?"

"That is correct."

"Well then this should make me at least a 50." Naruto grinned. "This technique I don't like using. The human body can only process so much energy at once but this allows me to increase the amount of energy it can handle at any one time. Of course that does some damage to me and also means I will tire faster as I the technique doesn't increase my energy only how much of it I can use at once but at times like this… I have to prove my dedication!" Naruto grit his teeth and his aura seemed to shrink but turned a much brighter red. "These are the results of my training! Shoten (Ascension)!"

"Well that is…" Zastin was cut off when Naruto seemed to flicker from view and appeared directly in front of him and delivered a vicious punch to his chest that caused his armour to buckle and sent the elite staggering backwards.

"Juden Akuma (Charging Devil)!" Naruto roared as he rocketed forwards, propelled by his aura and crashing into the already unbalanced Zastin, knocking him back and continuing the charge. He refused to give Zastin time to recover and continued the furious assault of punches. "Jigoku no Ikari! (Wrath of Hell)" His aura covered his fists making it looks as if they had burst into flames as he continued the furious beat down on Zastin. "And now for the big finish!" A spinning ball of red energy appeared in his hand, "Akuma Rasengan..." Naruto thrust the sphere at Zastin who blocked it with his sword, sparks flying from where the glowing sphere was grinding against the sword. "Hakai! (Devil Spiralling Ball Destruction)" Naruto roared as the rasengan seemed to compress before exploding in a blinding beam of red that blasted Zastin away leaving a cloud of dust. "How… How do you like… them apples…" Naruto panted as his aura faded and he staggered forwards, putting a knee down to steady himself. "Even more explosive than… the psycho maid's… I'd wager."

"Naruto!" Kushina grabbed him and hugged him. "That was so hot… How about I show you a few of my special techniques." She licked her lips suggestively. "They can certainly cause you to have an explosive finish."

"Maybe another time?" Naruto grinned weakly.

"How about in a few seconds time?"

"You're… You're not going to let go are you?"

"That was most impressive," Zastin remarked as he stepped out of the dust. His armour was destroyed but he and his sword were largely unaffected.

"I should have known that wasn't enough," Naruto sighed as he pulled himself from Kushina's grasp.

"Oh come on!" Kushina threw her hands up in the air. "Couldn't you have played dead for five more minutes?! I was this close damn it!"

"No you weren't," Momo and Lala replied in sync.

"Bullies," Kushina pouted.

"I would say that using the previous scale those attacks were around 100." Zastin smiled proudly. "And you were fighting at a… we'll call it 50 as you said."

"How are you still standing?" Naruto gulped down air.

"Like I said," Zastin smiled, "My Power Level is 150. I had to use 75% of my power to ensure I was unharmed by that last combo."

"Zastin…" Naruto's shoulders dropped, "You're actually pretty tough aren't you?"

"I am the fifth strongest person in the galaxy officially."

"Officially?"

"There are likely people I do not know about." Zastin explained. "If my level is 150, Lala's strongest Suitor is 250, Gid-sama is 300 unless using his Damus Seal then I can only imagine how powerful his is. The strongest power level would go to Kurama Deviluke at 600."

"Six hundred?" Naruto blinked, "My mother is twice as powerful as Gid?"

"Only when they aren't using their seals," Zastin explained. "Then they would be pretty equally matched. Gid's seal is far more powerful than Kurama's.

"Wait… you only mentioned three other people. Who else is stronger than you?"

"By power levels if the princesses were to use their Damus spirits they would be stronger than me, although I am the better fighter so their power levels wouldn't help them." Zastin smiled. "The third strongest person however would be Momo if she were unsealed and using her Damus seal. As a berserker she would be incredibly powerful and with access to her Damus abilities… I believe she could challenge Gid unless he used his own Damus Seal. That being said berserk devilukians seem to lack the ability to call on a Damus seal so I suppose that is battle that will never happen."

"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "That… so doesn't fit the image of Momo I have in my head." He started glowing. "What's going on?"

"Well this is a video game," Momo reminded him. "Your limit break is full!"

"Really?" Naruto blinked. "I hope you are ready Zastin!"

"Of course," Zastin took up a defensive stance. "Show me your power!"

"Er… How do I use the limit break?"

"Just say limit break and then the program will control you." If Naruto wasn't so exhausted he might have found the amused tone of Momo's voice a little worrying.

"Limit Break!" Naruto declared. His entire body jerked as the program took control of him. The entire room turned pink and a beam of light struck Zastin.

"Well this is… what?! Momo-sama!" Zastin cried out in alarm as the beam faded away, revealing a now female Zastin.

"Taste my Mighty Excalibur Beam attack!" Naruto's voice spoke without his consent as he opened the crotch of his Gi and a powerful blue beam fired out from his pants.

"It's so big!" Zastin cried out with an erotic moan before regaining control of himself, "Really Momo-sama I must object!"

"I think I just died a little inside," Naruto cried for his lost dignity.

"Congratulations everyone!" Momo declared. "We have a winner!"

* * *

"Ouch…" Momo rubbed the bumps on her head.

"Such a shameless display!" Yui chastised her.

"Making me a neko!" Nana blushed. "And making me do 'that' to Naruto!"

"Doing what?" Kushina blinked. "There was a sex event with Naruto?! Quick load up the game again!"

"S-sex scene?!" Yui turned crimson, "How immoral!"

"We didn't…" Nana was interrupted by Kushina grabbing her in a headlock.

"What number square was it damn it?!" Kushina asked the flailing Nana. "Does he like cat girls? Damn it where do I get a good cat girl outfit?! Maybe… He'd settle for the playboy bunny outfit I have? Gargh reveal your secrets mini succubus!" She started shaking the princess who was so scared she forgot she was naturally strong enough to escape.

"Gi-chan!" Nana summoned her giant boar to save her. "Stop this crazy woman!"

"You want some of this?" Kushina glared at the boar. "I haven't been laid in far too long. If you try and get between me and my sexy times with Naruto." Her aura flared up. "I'll make you into dinner you oversized sausage roll!"

"Gi," The boar bowed respectfully and ran off, knocking a hole in the wall in its haste to escape Kushina.

"Gi-chan?!" Nana cried out, "You traitor!"

"Man life is sure loud here huh?" Kyouko laughed.

"Yeah," Naruto grinned. "But I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Yeah?" Kyouko asked feeling somewhat disappointed.

"Yeah," Naruto grinned. "It was fun having you here. You really should spend more time with us. I know Lala enjoys you being here and I have to admit it's good to have an old friend back."

"Unfortunately I am supposed to be filming a movie shortly," Kyouko sighed. "Oh! I've got it!"

"Got what?"

"Why don't you star in the film with me?" Kyouko clapped her hands together and bowed her head. "Please!"

"Me in a film," Naruto blinked, "I don't know how good I would be as an actor."

"Its fine," Kyouko smiled. "I'm sure you'll be a natural!"

"Well…" Naruto glanced at the girls who were still talking with Momo. "I guess if there were no objections I could audition but…"

"Audition?" Lala joined them, "Are you going to be on Kyouko's show?"

"Well maybe…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"You must!" Lala's eyes sparkled as she grabbed Naruto hands. "You'd be awesome on TV!"

"Well…" Naruto chuckled, "Looks like my decision has been made then."

_'If we are both on set then that will give me plenty of time to win him over. He says he remembers our promise so I have to strike whilst the iron is hot.'_ Kyouko clenched her fists. _'The battle will begin shortly and I will not lose!_' She started cackling evilly.

"Is she alright?" Lala asked Naruto.

"I've stopped worrying when people I know cackle evilly." He nodded at Kushina "She does it every few hours."

"Hehehe," Kushina grinned as she found a cat cosplay in her size online.

"See?" Naruto sighed.

* * *

"You know," Jiraiya sighed sadly. "I am starting to think someone up there hates me. First of all I try and peak on the girls changing room at Sainan High, only to have some sort of explosive dropped on my head. I retreat to go to see women at the local public baths and find this!" He gestured to the destroyed building.

"We have searched the wreckage… It appears that C4 on a timer was used to destroy this building. Fortunately no one was inside at the time of the attack." A police officer informed Jiraiya. "Are you the owner of this property?"

"I used to be…" Jiraiya walked away sadly. "First a devilukian emperor destroys my swimming pool and now terrorists attack my public baths. What did I do to deserve this?!" Jiraiya moaned.

"You think you've got problems!" Soma ran by the ruined baths with tears in his eyes.

"GIIIIIIIII!" A giant boar ran by Jiraiya in pursuit of the weeping panther.

"…This town is getting weirder by the day." Jiraiya sighed.

* * *

Attack List

**Attack Name:** Oni Supaiku

**Power Level:** 25 (Can be charged up to 10X)

**Alignment:** Belial Only – Damus Higher Ability.

**Translation:** Demon Spike

**Description**

Belial-Momo crystallises her Damus energy and fires it at a target. Once a target is hit she is able to cause pain to flood the entire nervous system of the target. Depending on the energy depends on the pain and duration of this effect. If charged she can detonated the crystals with the force of a small bomb but Belial prefers her victims to suffer.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Akuma Yari (_Formerly Crimson Cannon)_

**Power Level:** 18 (Can be charged up to 2X at present)

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Basic Energy Attack

**Translation:** Devil Spear

**Description**

Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and launches it at his target. This is a piercing attack unlike the Arcangus version.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Kawarimi

**Power Level:** 0 (Non Offensive Ability)

**Alignment:** Human – Advanced Movement Technique

**Translation:** Substitution

**Description**

Naruto swaps places with any object within range. A substituted object will maintain any velocity it had at the time of the swap. While more draining Naruto can use this ability to swap places with the air as a form of teleportation although it is not very energy efficient.

* * *

**Attack Name:** _Kusanagi (Formely Crimson Blade)_

**Power Level:** 18 (Can be charged up to 2X at present)

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Basic Construct Attack

**Description**

Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and forms it into a sword. This is sharper and more damaging than the Arcangus equivalent but is far less effective at defence.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Akuma Danmaku

**Power Level:** 35

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Basic Energy Attack

**Translation:** Devil Barrage

**Description**

Naruto releases a barrage of small energy blasts that are a much weaker form of the Akuma Yari. If Naruto has created a construct out of Damus Energy, he can detonate that construct using this ability, as demonstrated when he detonated the Kusanagi construct.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Shoten

**Power Level:** 2 X Users Normal Power level

**Alignment:** Human Only – Transformation

**Translation:** Ascension

**Description**

Naruto compresses his energy to allow him to use more energy at one time than is usually possible for a human. As a result all techniques are more powerful (usually X2 unless stated otherwise). While this increases his power level drastically, the effect is only temporarily and quickly drains his energy. Prolonged use can also damage his ability to use both Damus and Arcangus energy.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Juden Akuma

**Power Level:** ½ Users Normal Power level

**Alignment**: Damus Only – Basic Movement Technique

**Translation:** Charging Devil

**Description**

Naruto uses his aura to allow him to rocket forwards. Naruto devised this technique whilst trying to learn how to fly using his aura, having seen Gid levitate above the ground. So far this is as close as Naruto has gotten to mimicing that ability. He can use it to fly but it drains his energy too quick for practical applications. When used with Shoten active the increased density of the aura allows it to act as armour, deflecting any attack lower than the power level of this technique

* * *

**Attack Name:** Jigoku no Ikari

**Power Level:** +10% to Users Power Level

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Transformation

**Translation:** Wrath of Hell

**Description**

Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and coats his fists and feet in it, greatly improving his melee damage at the cost of a constant drain on his energy. When used with Shoten active the bonus becomes 20%.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Akuma Rasengan Hakai

**Power Level:** 60 (Initial Drilling Sphere) 100 (Explosive Release)

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Advanced Energy Attack

**Translation:** Devil Spiralling Ball Destruction

**Description**

Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and forms it into an unstable sphere which rotates and grinds. Once Naruto stops feeding energy to stabilise the sphere, it explodes outwards in a devastating energy blast. When used with Shoten active the sphere becomes more unstable requiring more energy to maintain the drill but allowing a larger beam when released. This is currently Naruto's strongest attack and is based on his attempt to recreate the signature move of the Character in his favourite manga, the tale of the Gutsy Ninja.

* * *

CHaracter Power Levels

_Weak Power Levels_

Human - 1

Panther Goons - 1.5

Soma - 2

Naruto (No Aura) - 3

Kushina (No Aura) -4

Jiraiya – 5

Zastin's Goons – 10 (Devilukian Half Breeds)

_Low Power Levels_

Naruto (Awakened) - 11 [Awakened is when he was using his aura without realising it in the earlier chapters]

Kankuro (Robot Suit) -11

Kiba (No partner) - 15

Gi-chan - 20

Naruto (Arcangus Aura [Partial]) - 20

Naruto (Damus Aura [Partial]) -25

Kushina (Powered Up) – 30

_Average Power Levels_

Average Devilukian - 40

Nana / Lala (No Damus Aura) Momo (Sealed, No Damus Aura)- 50

Naruto (Damus [Partial], Shoten Active) – 50 (~60 with Jigoku no Ikari active)

Momo (No Damus, Sealed, Plant Friends) - 60*

Nana (No Damus, Animal Friends) - 65*

Lala (No Damus, Gadgets) - 70

_High Power Levels_

Zastin {150}

Momo (Damus, Sealed) {125}

Lala's Strongest Suitor {250}

Momo (Damus, Unsealed) {300}

Gid (No Damus Aura) {300}

Kurama (No Damus Aura) {600}

* Varies depending on friend selected. These are the average power levels for all available friends.


	16. Chapter 16: The Truth about Love

To Love Ruto

A/N: What is this?! A quick(ish) update from Me? Right... Looks like the apocalypse is upon us. It's been real.

On a serious note though this chapter has a lot of plot in it so some characters haven't had much to say. Those characters will have thier time. I promise you this!

There is kind of a wedding meeting here but it is not an official one so doesn't follow the rules that a true Omai would. Just a really formal business meeting kind of deal.

Also it has come to my attention that To Love Ruto Darkness actually explains a lot of the back story. I will incorporate as much of it as possible but there will be changes (for example in the official Canon the Unification Wars ended when Lala was around five but in this Lala was born shortly after the wars ended. This means Yami is a lot older than what she looks but then again she is a shapeshifting man-made weapon so I guess her appearance was misleading to begin with.)

One last thing, Some people were complaining that Lala was the weakest of the sisters. I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave but all three sisters have the same base power level (50) and with thier unique powers Lala was the strongest. Generally speaking Lala has a stranger Damus and is older so is more powerful. Not to mention that they will get stronger as things move along. They aren't going to lose thier chance with Naruto without a fight.

And now a message from my Beta:

**Hey it's Shinnagami here, the beta of this story. I have recently posted a Naruto and sekirei story challenge and i would like to find someone to do it. For those of you interested please pm me and i'll keep sending more and more ideas as more chapters get posted as i have a bunch of ideas for it. And i'll also beta it too.**

As always thanks to Shinnagami for Beta'ing this. If that isn't a word it should be.

And that's all so let's begin the Arc that most of you wanted... It's Risa-chan's time to shine!

Disclaimer: I don't own nuffing.

* * *

**Chapter 16: The Truth about Love (Wedding Crashers Part 1)**

Risa fidgeted slightly in the kimono she was kneeling in. It had been a very long time since she'd worn such a formal outfit and she wasn't looking forward to doing so again. Her father, Keisuke Momioka was sat beside her, also formally dressed. His disinterested expression made it clear what he thought of this whole event.

"You could look more presentable," Ryoko Momioka, Risa's mother, adjusted Risa's kimono with a scowl. "The future of our family depends on this wedding meeting."

"I'm sorry," Risa replied voice dripping with sarcasm, "Allow me to apologise for not wanting you to give me away to some stranger in a desperate attempt to keep a hold of the noble lifestyle you so love."

"Our ancestors raised our family into a respectable clan, I won't have you ruining our legacy."

"Our legacy?" Risa scowled. "Only father and I carry Momioka blood and we don't particularly care about it!"

"Hey leave me out of this," Keisuke sighed. "You all know my view on this."

"Yes, yes," Ryoko narrowed her eyes, "You expect this all to blow up in my face."

"I'm just saying that Naruto's probably going to get involved again."

"If I have to hire mercenaries to make sure that he doesn't then I will."

"Mother!" Risa blinked. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I don't see what you saw in that boy. He is nothing more than a thug. Word on the grapevine is that he has two girlfriends! How scandalous is he?!"

"He's…" Risa's shoulders slumped.

"See," Ryoko patted Risa patronisingly. "Even you know he is little more than a thug."

"He isn't a thug," Risa snapped. "He's kind and charming and he cares about me…"

"And?" Ryoko shook her head. "He has done anything recent that proves to you that he genuinely cares for you?"

"Well… He…" Risa trailed off.

"Listen," Ryoko changed tactics, "I know that it might seem that we aren't taking your interests into account..."

"Again with the 'we'," Keisuke grumbled.

"But we are. You deserve better than some street thu… Some delinquent. This suitor could open new doors to you. You could go to fancy balls…"

"No interest," Risa crossed her arms.

"Wear the finest clothes…"

"Second verse same as the first."

"Be a lady of luxury and never have to work in your life."

"And probably die of boredom in the process."

"You are just being difficult!" Ryoko threw her hands into the air. "This wedding has already been decided on."

"You can't just force me to marry someone!" Risa exclaimed.

"Can't I?" Ryoko scowled. "Even if I have to get someone to hypnotise you, you will walk down that isle and you will marry the man we have chosen. Unless you want me to take action?"

"What do you mean?!" A flicker of worry travelled across Risa's face.

"The Momioka clan still has some influence in certain circles, I could make life very difficult for your friends. I believe you have a friend called Sarenji correct? Her older sister works at one of our businesses. It would be a shame if she lost her job. She wouldn't be able to support her younger sister and they would have to move away and live with their parents."

"No… you wouldn't…" Risa's eyes widened.

"Then there is that Mio girl you hang around with." Ryoko continued. "It would be a shame if the manga company she is trying to join decided they had no use of her talents."

"You bitch," Risa growled. "Wait… Mio's trying to be a mangaka?"

"And of course there is a certain blonde delinquent. I wonder how long he would last against fully trained mercenaries."

"Why…" Risa fought back tears. "Why would you do this to your own daughter?!"

"Because I know what's best for you," She replied snippily. "And if I have to use underhanded methods to make sure that you live a good life then so be it. Now do we have a deal?"

"…Fine," Risa lowered her head.

"Good," Ryoko frowned, "Adjust your posture will you? Your husband will be arriving shortly." She wandered out of the small room to prepare to welcome their guests.

"I know she is a little extreme," Keisuke smiled weakly at Risa, "But she does have your best interests at heart. She is just… terrible when it comes to showing it."

"How did you marry her?" Risa asked.

"Well when she threatened to have mercenaries kill everyone I know I figured it would be a good idea to marry her." Keisuke remarked with a laugh before he noticed Risa's horrified expression, "That was a joke. It was an arranged marriage."

"Your sense of humour is still terrible father."

"I know," Keisuke sulked. "Oh well, at least I should get a good laugh out of this all blowing up in your mother's face."

"What do you mean?"

"Naruto will find out about this," Keisuke chuckled. "And if I remember right we had an eight year old Naruto kicking down the door to our house and demanding that we stop trying to force you to dress in Kimonos and act proper because it was making you miserable."

"Yeah," Risa smiled fondly. "He is a good friend."

"But is that all he is?" Keisuke asked.

"He already has two girlfriends," Risa mumbled.

"And that's put you off of him?"

"No… I…" Risa sighed, "I don't know how to approach the situation." She paused and gave her dad a funny look, "Are you telling me that I should be girlfriend number 3? Are you trying to pimp me out dad?" She joked.

"You are a Momioka," Keisuke smiled. "Approach it how we have since our clan was first founded."

"Er… Grope pretty ladies and live life to the full?" Risa asked. "Like our motto says?"

"… We really should get our family motto changed," Keisuke sighed. "But yes." He grinned, "Do what you want to do."

"But what if she does what she's threatened to do…"

"Well," Keisuke rubbed his chin "If you don't tell Naruto but it he'll somehow find out then it wouldn't be your fault and if he were to interrupt the wedding Ryoko-chan wouldn't have time to hire any mercenaries and who'd want to marry a girl when she had a bodyguard who would crash the wedding without so much as a second thought?"

"Thanks Dad," Risa smiled softly.

"Don't mention it," He smiled, "But seriously don't tell your mom. If your mother found out I'd be spending the next two months sleeping in the dog house in our garden."

"I always wondered why we had one of those when we have never owned a dog."

"Your mother had it built and made me sleep in it when I groped her sister."

"Really?"

"They were twins and I had no idea."

"Oh…" Risa blinked.

"… But her breasts are better than your mothers. Much firmer."

Before Risa could comment the doors opened and her mother returned, leading three sombre looking figures. All three had long black hair and looked vaguely disinterested.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Ryoko gestured to the seats on the opposite side of the table.

"It is our honour," The tallest male sat down opposite Keisuke and the woman opposite Ryoko. The middle male, who must have been their son, sat down opposite Risa.

"This is Keisuke Momioka," Ryoko pointed at her husband, "Head of the Momioka clan."

"Please to meet you," Keisuke wore his best fake smile and bowed his head slightly.

"I am his wife Ryoko Momioka," She bowed her head, "It is an honour to receive you in our abode. And this is our daughter, Risa Momioka," She glanced at Risa.

"I welcome you to our home," Risa bowed slightly.

"This is my husband," The woman opposite Ryoko started, "Hizashi Hyuuga, Acting Head of the Hyuuga Clan."

"Thank you for having us," Hizashi bowed his head with a solemn smile.

"I am his wife, Kiyomi Hyuuga." She smiled, "Thank you for being so welcoming. And this is our son, Neji Hyuuga."

"It is an honour to be invited into your household," Neji replied with practiced ease.

"Now let the discussions begin," Ryoko announced.

* * *

Naruto was a proud person, it was one of his greatest strengths and weaknesses. His pride refused to let him give up even when the odds were stacked heavily against him. Unfortunately that same pride was what often got him fighting a battle with the odds stacked heavily against him. He gazed around at the ruined city he was stood in.

"This… This was not my smartest move," He rubbed his chin.

**"Come out, come out wherever you are,"** A dark voice that sounded similar to Lala's cooed. **"You're just making me angrier by hiding like a pussy!"**

**"I want to see him squirm some more,"** A twisted version of Momo's voice replied. **"His pain is so… hot."**

**"He must be ashamed of being in my glorious presence."** A deeper version of Nana's voice chuckled darkly. **"I think I'll take a nap. You can handle this right?"**

**"Oh I'll handle this."** The Dark Lala's voice growled. **"I'll rip him a new one!"**

**"Ooh… I'll bet that would hurt! Can I watch?"** Belial-Momo chuckled.

"Yup," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Why did I ask to fight all three princesses using their Damus Seals AT THE SAME TIME?! WHAT WAS I THINKING? Zastin was a liar! One of them is more powerful than him regardless of combat experience!"

"We did warn you," Lala's voice sounded in Naruto's ear. "We just didn't want to hurt Zastin's feelings as he was so proud of being selected to guard us… If he knew he was basically sent because the galaxy is at peace and he has to do something to earn his wages…" Lala trailed off.

"What's with the way your Damus versions are acting?" Naruto muttered as he peered around some debris.

"When using a full Damus transformation the Damus greatly influences our personalities. Our Damus selves often refer to themselves as being a separate being to our usual selves but they would never do anything we wouldn't do… although they are more likely to do something that we would only do as a last resort."

"Such as?"

"Kill for starters." Lala admitted. "I would prefer not to but if I had to in order to save your life then I would."

"Lala," Naruto sighed softly, "I never want you to bloody your hands for my sake."

"Naruto…" Lala's voice was full of love.

**"Bitch who's about to get smacked says what?"** Satalin-Lala whispered in his ear quickly.

"What?" Naruto blinked at the sudden appearance of the super powered Lala.

**"BITCH SLAP!"**

"Damn!" Naruto cried out as he was launched through a ruined building. "Does that mean you'd kick my ass if you needed to?"

"Of course not!" Lala declared. "We just disabled the simulations feelings for you."

"Meaning?"

"These programs don't love you like we do." Lala beamed.

"I think you could have left them a little love," Naruto groaned as he pulled himself out of the rubble just in time to see the three Damus powered sisters appear before him.

Satalin-Lala looked permanently pissed, glaring at him with her red slitted eyes. Two small horns barely managed to poke through her pink hair and her skin was more tanned but the most notable change was her attire. Her entire body was covered in cruel black armour that seemed to give off insane amounts of heat. **"I'm pretty pissed about having to chase you all around the wasteland. Do me a favour and die quickly."**

Astar-Nana on the other hand looked as if she were struggling to stay awake. She wore loose fitting sheets that looked as if she had basically wrapped herself in bed sheets. The two horns protruding from her head gave her bedhead and poked backwards almost like little cat ears atop of her head. Unlike Lala she was so pale she looked like a ghost. **"So tired… Just end this please."** She yawned in what would have probably been a cute way if not for the deep bass tone.

**"We can't end it quickly!"** Belial-Momo argued, **"How can I savour his pain if it is over too quickly?"**

**"Prepare to die bitch!"** Satalin-Lala raised a hand to the air. Suddenly there was a fierce wind whipping around Naruto fiercely as a sphere of magma seemed to appear in Satalin-Lala's hand. **"Yōyū Ikari (Molten Wrath)."** The sphere screamed towards Naruto deceptively fast.

"Kawarimi!" Naruto swapped with a huge chunk of destroyed building that was burnt through as if it were tissue paper. "Well let's try this shall we! Akuma…" Naruto held out his palm allowing the energy to build up. "Yari!" He fired the energy blast at Satalin-Lala who deflected it with a backhand smiling smugly until the blast from the attack caused a small bit of rubble to hit her on the back of her head.

**"You bastard!"** Satalin-Lala scowled**. "That actually hurt! So be it!"** She floated off into the air and held up both hands to the sky. **"I'll give you a taste of my hatred!"**

"Those words sound wrong coming from Lala's mouth." Naruto remarked. "But if you think I'm going to stand back and let you do whatever you are planning then…"

**"Oni Supaiku Ame (Demon Spike Rain),"** A huge red crystal levitated in Belial-Momo's palm before exploding sending a barrage of the crimson crystals towards Naruto.

"Shoten!" Naruto compressed his aura, "Juden Akuma!" He felt his aura harden around him and propelled himself towards the floating Lala like a missile, smirking as the attacks hit his hardened aura and bounced off.

**"Oh that's cute!"** Belial-Momo cooed. **"I'll bet that you can take a lot of punishment with that shell,"** She licked her lips, **"I'll have fun prying you out of that! Oni Tsuki Shotto! (Demon Thrusting Shot)."** Another glowing crystal appeared in her hands and started to stretch out into a large crystal spere which screamed forward faster than Naruto could see and struck him, piercing the aura and continuing into his shoulder causing his entire body to seize up and crash into a building where his Shoten disabled itself with a sudden blast of energy, dislodging the spear and allowing Naruto control of his body again.

"You're lucky we disabled pain for this simulation," Lala warned him in his ear. "Belial's crystals give her complete control over your nervous system. She could have you in absolute pain or ecstasy depending on how she feels about you."

"Thanks for the warning," Naruto pulled himself out of the building. Satalin-Lala now had a giant sphere above her head. "At least that attack seems to be taking some time… I have a feeling even if I dodge the attack I won't survive if she launches it…" Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Shoten!" He grinned, "Juden Akuma!" Naruto launched himself at Satalin-Lala once more, struggling to dodge the sniper fire from a delighted Belial-Momo.

**"So annoying…"** A tired voice called out, "**Namakemono no hōyō (Sloth's Embrace)."**

"What?!" Naruto scowled as a blanket unravelled from Astar-Nana and flew towards him, engulfing him. "My… energy?"

"Oh yeah," Lala's voice sounded in his ear. "Astar is a lesser demon of Sloth. She can drain you of your energy with a touch."

"Release!" Naruto dropped his Shoten in a desperate attempt to reduce the amount of energy that the blanket would drain.

**"Why struggle?"** Astar-Nana pointed to the sky. **"It's over."**

"Oh…" Naruto couldn't see anything but a spherical giant inferno above Satalin-Lala's hands. It was so big that Naruto was sure from space it would look like a flaming moon had just appeared out of thin air. "That's not going to go well."

**"Ougi: Ikari ni michita sekai no hakai (Final Attack: Wrathful World Destruction)**" Satalin-Lala brought her hands down and the giant sphere of flaming death struck the ground and exploded like a miniature sun, the blast wiping out the entire city whilst the sphere of fire continued down towards the centre of the Earth before detonating and causing the planet to explode into a mess of magma and chunks of rock.

Naruto watched from his respawn as with a single attack, Satalin-Lala destroyed the Earth. "Well… That happened. End simulation," Naruto groaned as the scene faded away and he found himself laid on a table in the danger room. "That sucked." He remarked as he removed the helmet he had been wearing to reveal Momo sat cross legged and as naked as the day she was born on his chest.

"We did warn you," Momo remarked.

"Momo… where are my clothes?" Naruto groaned. "And why are you naked as well?"

"Oh have you lost them?" A naked Momo was sat on his chest smiling like a Cheshire cat. "How careless of you. Let me help you look for them, maybe they are under here…" She clambered off of Naruto and bent over, giving him a good look at her secret garden.

"Huh?" Naruto idly commented, "So you shave huh?"

"Ohoh?" Momo turned around grinning. "And where were you looking?"

"Huh?" Naruto went bright red realising he'd been caught. "Er... I… I meant your armpits?"

"You have an armpit fetish?" Momo blinked.

"Ah no!" Naruto rubbed his forehead and stood up. "Just let me get dressed."

"But we could have so much fun without our clothes on," Momo wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her naked body against his. "And Lala spoke so… highly of your skills I was just eager to try them out myself."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Momo seemed stunned by the question.

"Why do you want to have sex with me?"

"Because it would feel good?"

"Wrong answer," Naruto pulled himself out of Momo's grasp. "When you give me the right answer and in a way that makes me sure you mean it, then I will gladly make love to you."

"Really?" Momo narrowed her eyes, "This isn't a trick."

"No tricks," Naruto smiled. "Besides don't we have a date coming up? If you give me the right answer at the end of that date I will keep my promise."

"We do?"

"In the game I promised you a date, you forgot already?"

"Er… Oh right that yes." Momo laughed weakly.

"Momo?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you are not telling me?"

"Nothing important," Momo shook her head, "Just silly little girl things."

"Well if you say so," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "You know I'm here if you need me right? If it's about that Serpent assassin you can tell me."

"I know." Momo rested her head on Naruto's chest. "And I'm here if you need me to. For any of your weird fetishes."

"…And for a second I thought we were going to have a moment there," Naruto chuckled and ruffled Momo's hair before walking out of the danger room.

"Er Naruto…" Momo held up his clothes as the door shut behind him. "You forgot these." She whispered.

"NARUTO!" Yui yelled out from outside the danger room.

"Oh crap I'm naked!" Naruto responded.

"No Boyfriend of mine shall become an exhibitionist! Get dressed NOW!"

"Right away Yui-chan!" Naruto squeaked.

"Well at least she didn't slap him I suppose." Momo smiled softly to herself.

* * *

The talks had been going on for some time now and Risa was struggling to maintain her polite façade. Fortunately the meetings were coming to an end.

"So in conclusion," Ryoko adjusted some papers, "In exchange for marrying Risa and securing our Noble heritage you wish Neji to be named the heir of the Momioka after the marriage?"

"That is correct," Kiyomi bowed her head slightly.

"I see no problems with this," Ryoko held out a contract, "If you would sign this please."

"Of course," Kiyomi took the form and handed it to her husband who sighed it and passed it back to his wife, who handed it back to Ryoko and then to Keisuke who sighed it. "There… we are all done."

"Let us retire to the living quarters where we have food prepared for you. We should give the betrothed time to get to know each other prior to their wedding." Keisuke smiled.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Hizashi nodded and the two men left the room.

"I have heard that you have wonderful gardens here," Kiyomi smiled.

"I would be honoured to show them to you if you wish," Ryoko smiled.

"Thank you," The two mothers left the room leaving Risa and Neji alone.

"So…" Risa smiled weakly, "Nice to meet you I guess?"

"Hm," Neji frowned. "It is."

"Okay…" Risa sighed. "Not much of a talker huh?"

"I fail to see why I should bother, it isn't as if our marriage is anything other than a business contract."

"It is still legally binding," Risa tried to suppress the urge to shout, "Neither of us may have wanted this but it doesn't mean we can't get along."

"The very fact you are female means we will never 'get along'." Neji responded harshly.

"Why?" Risa scowled, "What did womankind ever do to you?"

"I loved a girl once," Neji spoke as if recalling a fond memory. "She was beautiful… her skill with the sword was truly something to behold. My every waking moment was spent basking in her presence… just wishing she would even spare me the time of day. But still I was content. Then she found a… thug who interested her. They would spar regularly and as I was unable to effectively test her she spent less time with me and more with that… that thug. Then the day came when they were supposed to fight each other in a local final. The winner would go on to the regionals. The boy who she had grown to favour was injured and asked me to inform her that he wouldn't be able to participate. I saw my chance why shouldn't I have taken it?"

"What did you do?" Risa asked.

"I told her that the… the thug had decided she wasn't a worthy challenge, that he wouldn't fight her."

"So you ruined her relationship with this rival of yours?" Risa smirked, "I'm guessing you got found out?"

"No," Neji's fond expression faded, "She became angry… her skill became less fluent less graceful… and more like his. She lost her game in the nationals because of the damage he had done to her form and focus." Neji spat. "And when I tried to confront her… to tell her how I felt about her…" He opened his tunic revealing a sword slash scar down his chest, "This was my reward."

"W-wow," Risa blinked. "That looks… That looks painful."

"It was…" Neji smiled, "But it taught me a lesson. Love is just an illness. What you feel for one person they don't feel back. If that's the case then what is love if not a self-inflicted torture?"

"Love isn't like that!" Risa argued hotly. "Love is… a beautiful thing!"

"Oh?" Neji crossed his arms, "And are you in love then?"

"Well…" Risa blushed.

"Does this man… or woman I suppose this is the 21st century after all, return your feelings?"

"I…" Risa looked down, "I don't think so."

"And yet you torture yourself, believing that one day he will return you feelings? One day he will realise you were the right girl all along? Get over yourself," Neji spat. "He will never return you feelings."

"So what if I still have hope?" Risa argued back. "Would you rather me languish in my own despair? Take my own life like some sort of martyr to a broken heart?"

"Do whatever you want. It won't change the fact that your 'love' is a doomed one. Besides we will be married and thus there is no chance for you to marry anyone else."

"Until we both say I do we are not married." Risa declared. 'I won't drag Naruto into this. I will find a way to save myself.' She paused. 'Not that I'd turn down his help.'

* * *

"Wives huh?" Keisuke drained the can he was drinking from and tossed it in the bin, a healthy blush on his cheeks.

"Nice shot," Hizashi remarked as he finished his can and threw it.

"Want another?" Keisuke scowled. "Oh… that was the last one."

"We've never drank three six packs." Hizashi tried to stand up and found his legs not responding. "Oh… Maybe we have. I'm guessing that your wife is trying to marry off your daughter then."

"Yup," Keisuke nodded. "She's worried about the state of the clan because my uncle wasted four million dollars."

"Harsh," Hizashi scowled. "What did he lose it on?"

"Funding some old pervert's state of the art swimming pool or something," Keisuke shrugged. "Apparently it was destroyed by an act of God and the insurance didn't cover it."

With Gid.

"Heh," Gid smirked.

"What is it?" Sephie Deviluke looked at her husband who had suddenly started grinning whilst sat on his throne.

"Just have the feeling someone has indirectly complimented me." Gid smiled.

"That's nice honey."

Back to Keisuke

"Harsh," Hizashi repeated. "So you wife thinks your daughter marrying my son will somehow fix that?"

"People are starting to wonder about whether we should be invited to social standings." Keisuke pulled a face. "As if not being invited would be a huge loss."

"I know what you mean," Hizashi shook his head. "But apparently my wife loves to be seen at those kind of events."

"Mine too," Keisuke nodded.

"Say," Hizashi looked around suspiciously. "Do you think if I lost four million on a swimming pool people wouldn't invite me to their parties?"

"It's worth a shot," Keisuke shrugged.

* * *

Naruto stood and looked around himself sadly. He had been meaning to come here for a while but it was only when Zastin offered him a lift he actually agreed. He was stood before a collection of burnt timbers and debris which was all that was left of what had been his home until that tragic day that had cost him his father and his little half-sister. Lala was stood watching him sadly. The twins were busy, Momo had been rather evasive and Naruto had a bad feeling she was going to try and deal with the serpent by herself. Nana had simply been bathing some of her animal friends and had ordered them to attack when Naruto tried to open the door to ask her if she wanted to come. As Kushina had a similar seal on her memories Naruto was reluctant to ask her to come for fear of triggering a mental attack.

"So…" Zastin cleared his throat, "Why did you want me to bring you here Naruto-dono?"

"This…" Naruto sighed. "I remember fragments of what happened all those years ago. My father died here and I met my mother for the first and last time…"

"I see…" Zastin chose to let Naruto reflect in silence.

"I'm surprised they haven't built something here." Naruto sighed. "I would have thought Jiraiya had sold the land but I guess he is just as sentimental as me. He hasn't even cleared the debris." Naruto walked up to the ruined house and kneeled down at a small cross memorial. "To Minato Namikaze, a loving father and son, May the Angels receive you kindly." He read aloud.

"Are you okay?" Lala asked as she kneeled beside him.

"I…" Naruto closed his eyes, "I will be. I just hate the fact I don't know what happened here."

"You will learn one day," Lala promised softly.

"Oh you sound awfully confident," Naruto chuckled, "Know something I don't?"

"I know lots that you don't," Lala stuck her tongue out cutely. "Here…" She reached into her dress and pulled out a small leaf necklace. "This was given to me by someone really important to me… I pass it on to you."

"Thanks," Naruto held the necklace with a fond smile.

"One day you will see someone who needs hope, someone who has lost her path," Lala spoke distantly, "And when that happens I want you to give that to her."

"But this is your precious necklace."

"It's okay," Lala kissed him on his cheek. "I know the person you will give it to will live a much happier life after you give her it."

"…Okay…" Naruto shook his head. "You're weird Lala. But in a good way."

"Hehehe," Lala snuggled into Naruto's side.

"I've looked into your mother's whereabouts." Zastin interrupted Lala and Naruto's moment.

"Have you found her?"

"No… All information on her stops at Earth. Gid was aware that she had made residence here and sent his wife and his least loyal agent as they were both 'friends' of Kurama's. When they returned they were reluctant to share any information about what happened. Come to think of it," Zastin glanced at Lala, "You were with Sephie-sama when she visited Earth were you not Lala-sama?"

"I was a little girl and don't remember much," Lala admitted. "I have brief flashes of memory… Some which I suspect are just influenced by meeting Naruto though…"

"How did my mother know the empress of Deviluke?" Naruto asked.

"Very well Naruto-dono," Zastin nodded. "As a possible heir to the devilukian throne I cannot allow you to remain ignorant about the state of the world. About thirty years or so ago a war broke out between the ruler of the Devilukian Empire and his son. The ruler was a cruel tyrant who disowned any children who he deemed unworthy and 'sold' his daughters to nobles who he liked."

"So Gid's son rebelled against him huh?" Naruto remarked.

Back to Gid

"Tch," Gid scowled.

"Now what is it dear?"

"I have the feeling someone is mistaking me for my dad."

"Oh… How insulting," Sephie smiled.

Back to Naruto

"Gid-sama was the son." Zastin smiled lightly, "His father had kidnapped various alien races and adopted them then ordered them to fight to the death for his favour. He gave them all an army and sent them off to other planets and planned to watch them tear the Galaxy apart with their fighting. He didn't count on Gid uniting the other nine contestants and rebelling against him. The war was bloody and eventually Gid won and the nine other contestants became known as the Nine Holy Warriors."

"Yay for him," Naruto remarked dryly.

"Your mother was the strongest of the Nine. She was very close to Gid it seems but when Gid married, his wife and Kurama didn't agree on many things and eventually Kurama rebelled against Gid and was ultimately defeated. She tried to flee but was hunted down by Gid-sama's agents and shot down in orbit over Earth." Zastin cleared his throat, "Some point after that you were born and a few years later she began patrolling the solar system to defend Earth against any threats her presence might generate."

"So your mother wanted to protect you?" Lala glanced at Naruto with a faint smile. "She must have really cared for you. I can only imagine the pain of abandoning a child and devoting your life to protecting it, knowing your child will never call your name or even know about your sacrifice."

"You really think so?" He smiled softly before a faint humming caught his attention. "Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It's like a... I can't explain it." Naruto walked towards the woods next to the house. "It's… something is calling out to me."

"Naruto-dono?" Zastin followed him until he vanished from sight.

"Naruto?!" Lala panicked and ran towards where he had been until they ran into an invisible wall in front of them. "Naruto!" She yelled.

Naruto turned around to talk to Zastin only to find himself alone, "Do you… Zastin?" He looked around. "Where the hell are you?" He turned back to the thing that had caught his attention. It was a sleek black space ship that looked as if it had taken some heavy damage but had been hastily repaired. It was probably supposed to be streamlined but the numerous hasty repairs made the vessel look like a heap of junk. One end of the disk had a protruding rectangular area that had twelve exhaust-like devices. As he walked around the ship, which was roughly the size of a bungalow, he felt a strange sort of familiarity well up inside himself. There was another compartment that jutted out of the main disk which judging from the windows was probably a cockpit. Just opposite the cockpit was a what looked like a ramp that began to lower as he approached it.

"Looks like it wants me to board," Naruto frowned as he walked up the ramp towards a door that slid half open before stoppping in a shower of sparks and hissing at him. "What… What is this?" He muttered as he entered the damaged ship.

If it looked bad outside it was much worse inside. Wires were hanging from the walls and ceilings, damaged panels hung loosely from the walls and there was the distant crackling of electricity.

Naruto made his way through the corridors marked with strange alien ruins until he found a large circular room with a glass table in the middle. A strange orange rune was flashing on the table.

"Was this place calling to me?" Naruto looked around before pressing the rune.

There was a hiss of static and a collection of glowing pictures hovered before him. The bottom right one had a faint orange outline. When he reached out and touched the first rune it seemed to flicker and a large screen appeared until Naruto was enveloped in darkness.

"What the hell?" He looked around and a glowing message appeared in front of him. The runes were alien to him but began to twist and turn until they formed human words.

[### - VIDEO AUDIO MESSAGE 1 - ###]

The room returned to how it was but Naruto found himself floating above the scene. He noticed the ship was in perfect repair and there were several devilukians walking around the room wearing black armour with an emblem on their shoulders that showed a grinning humanoid looking fox with the number nine tattooed on its cheek. A figure walked into the room that Naruto recognised from his memories. She was wearing a tight fitting body armour that had the same fox logo over her back.

"Kurama…" Naruto blinked. "Is this her ship?"

"Is this damn thing working?" Kurama walked over to the console and hit it.

"Now, now Rama-lama be gentle :D." Another figure walked in. Unlike Kurama, her armour had a cheekily grinning insect creature making the peace sign with a necklace saying Lucky Seven.

"Fu?" Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Is there a reason you are here Choumei?" Kurama looked over her shoulder.

"Gid-kun sent me to help you!" Fu beamed.

"I don't need your help," Kurama replied testily. "If anything he's the one who needs your help."

"Aw is Rama-lama jealous XP?"

"I am not jealous of that Arcangus worshipping simpleton," Kurama growled. "I just don't see what Gid sees in her. He should be focusing on winning this war not romancing some ditzy broad."

"You so jelly!" Fu laughed.

"I swear to the Blood-drinker if you don't shut up I will kill you," Kurama snapped.

"She so jelly," Fu smiled to herself. "So Rama-Lala-neechan," Fu hopped onto the table as Kurama silently plotted murder. "Where are we going?"

"Apparently 'father'," Kurama spat the word, "Is making a move on one of our Forge worlds and it is up to me to stop him."

"Us!" Fu declared. "It is up to us!"

"Choumei don't you have someone else you could be bugging?"

"Bugging?" Fu laughed. "You're so punny Nee-chan!"

"But I…" Kurama groaned. "You're just going to hang around regardless aren't you?"

"Yep! :D"

"Urgh," Kurama walked away from the console. "Fine…"

[###- END OF MESSAGE- ###]

[DELETE MESSAGE?]

"Well that was something," Naruto scratched his chin. "I wonder if there are more videos on this thing."

[### - VIDEO AUDIO MESSAGE 2 - ###]

This time the console room was full of empty bottles and discarded food. Kurama was sat alone at a console wearing a party hat but she didn't look particularly festive. She nursed the drink in front of her looking deep in thought but her musings were cut short when the door slid open and in walked someone Naruto had never seen. She had an amazing figure and wore a veil that hid her face.

"I suppose congratulations are in order," Kurama never took her eyes off the console.

"Pardon?" The newcomer's voice was soothing and peaceful.

"On your marriage," Kurama blew a party whistle half-heartedly.

"Thank you Kurama-san," She took a seat next to the depressed looking Kurama. "Nice hat."

"Choumei's work," Kurama grumbled, "Damn brat wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to wear it. So what brings you to my humble ship," She stood up and bowed, "Sephie Michaela Deviluke, Empress of the Galaxy."

"I… It will take some time getting used to being called that," Sephie admitted. "But you can call me Sephie, there is no need for you to stand on ceremony with me. I know that without you, Gid would never have united the galaxy."

"Hah," Kurama scoffed, "As if you could call this galaxy united. Most only pay lip service to him, waiting for a moment to strike."

"I have faith that they will see the wisdom in following him. He… has a way of changing people's opinions of him."

"Heh," Kurama smirked. "Well that's for sure. Didn't you try and kill him the first time you met him."

"Well," Sephie's body language suggested she was embarrassed, "He did appear in my shower whilst I was bathing, naked I might add. And the Devilukians and my people weren't exactly friends…"

"That's putting it mildly," Kurama laughed, "The servants of the Arcangus and the chosen warriors of the Damus… There is a joke about that. What do you call a meeting between the Charmians and the Devilukians?" She paused for a moment, "A massacre."

"And it was our unity that ended the countless wars that plagued the galaxy," Sephie smiled. "That is something to be proud of no?"

"Why are you here?" Kurama asked, "I doubt you came to discuss history with me."

"I…" Sephie bit her lip (Not that this could be seen), "I am worried for you."

"…Why?"

"I've read about what your father did to you… what the Omega project did to you," Sephie looked at Kurama whose face had darkened.

"I don't want to talk about it," She growled.

"But you must understand… it was only ever going to be a temporary fix!" Sephie pleaded. "If you come with me to our labs on Hevian we can fix you and…"

"So you want me to put myself at the mercy of scientists?!" Kurama slammed her hands on the table, "The same kind of people who did this to me in the first place?!"

"Please listen!" Sephie begged, "The Arcangus artifact implanted in you will eventually run out of power and then you will…"

"Revert to the mindless creature I was before," Kurama finished, "I am aware."

"Then surely you understand the need for an alternative treatment to be found."

"Why?" Kurama scowled.

"So you can live your life!"

"What life could I possibly live?" Kurama snorted. "Even with the artifact I can hear the voices in my head demanding that I kill everything. They want me to slit your pretty little throat then deliver you head to Gid. Would you have me live my life fighting these whispers? It is better that I fall back into savagery. That way Gid would have less compulsions about killing me."

"You can't mean that," Sephie looked horrified, "Do you really value your own existence so lowly?"

"This conversation is finished," Kurama declared.

"But…"

"Finished!"

"Right…" Sephie got up and walked away pausing at the door to look over her shoulder. "You needn't live alone you know. There are people who care for you." With those last words she left.

"Tch," Kurama scowled at the console. "No… the only person I could control myself around has chosen you." She whispered. "This… This is the only way I can live now."

[###- END VIDEO MESSAGE- ###]

[DELETE MESSAGE?]

"Project Omega?" Naruto blinked, "What the hell? She had an Arcangus artifact inserted into her somehow… But I know from my attempts from using both auras at the same time that the pain is immense. The two energies do not mix at all… Does that mean every moment of Kurama's existence was spent in that pain?" He clenched his fist. "Maybe… Maybe there is a recording on here that can actually answer my questions rather than leave me with more."

[### - AUDIO MESSAGE 1- ###]

This time there was no image only darkness.

"Kurama-nee it's me Gid. What the hell are you playing at? Is this some sort of tantrum or something?! I thought we were fighting to unite the galaxy to stop these wars so why the hell have you gone and started another one?! Can't we discuss this face to face?"

"…That's not possible Gid." Kurama's voice was tired. "Do you even realise what's going on around you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your prefect galaxy is crumbling, you are so busy playing the loving husband you have blinded yourself to your purpose! I swore that no matter what I wouldn't allow the galaxy to fall into the state is was before we killed our father. The Uchiha are getting uppity, the damn Inuzuka are falling into civil war and the Suna nomads are in the grip of the worst drought they have ever seen and that's a desert planet that rains every 100 years or so! There are people in the shadows plotting your down fall at every turn but you are so busy with your wife that you are neglecting your empire!"

"Maybe I have been a little distracted," Gid begrudgingly admitted. "But is this really the correct response? To raise an army against me?! Starting a giant war to stop lots of little ones?!"

"We are through talking." There was a click that implied Kurama had hung up. "You were too happy to realise the danger you and Sephie were in." Kurama whispered to herself. "This way… all your enemies have revealed themselves and I… I will get to die as me and not some savage monstrosity… Sorry Gid-kun. This is for the best…"

[###END MESSAGE###]

"…" Naruto was silent as he mulled over what he had heard. After a few moments he let out a yell, "Gargh! This isn't helping at all!" He paused. "Maybe the next message will help…"

[### - VIDEO AUDIO MESSAGE 3 - ###]

The scene showed the console room but there were small fires everywhere. A badly wounded Kurama was leaning against the console, her blood slowly pooling on the table.

"Heh…" She laughed weakly, "Looks like… I wasn't… ready to… die… Gid…. If you find this… I'm sorry… I never was the smartest… I really thought… this was the best…Heh… Even when I let you kill me… you couldn't bring yourself to do it… " She slumped down on the console and the screen started to shake wildly and all of a sudden there was an explosion and the screen faded.

"What the hell," Naruto muttered. "When is this?!"

[CONSOLE DAMAGED… SKIPPING TO NEXT UNCORRUPTED DATA POINT…]

When the image returned, Kurama was still laid on the console. There was a lot of blood everywhere and she wasn't moving. Suddenly a door opened and in walked a figure Naruto hadn't seen for a long time.

"Hello?" Minato Namikaze peered into the space ship, "Is anyone here?" He walked in and saw Kurama. "Oh no!" He ran up to her and closed his eyes a blue crest appearing over his hand, "Sanando Ventus (Healing Wind)," He whispered and a gentle blue mist travelled over Kurama healing her wounds but causing her to wake up screaming. "It's okay!" Minato tried to calm her.

"Who the hell are you?!" Kurama growled. "What did you do to me?!"

"I healed you," Minato held up his hands and allowed his blue aura to show.

"That power… that was Arcangus…" Kurama gritted her teeth and struggled to stand.

"I didn't finish," Minato warned her. "You are in a very bad state."

"Oh so you are an alien doctor are you?" Kurama spat.

"Er…" Minato laughed weakly and rubbed the back of his head, "Well you don't look healthy… Just let me heal you."

"Don't!" Kurama tried to edge away from him. "Your power hurts me."

"What?" Minato glanced at his hands.

"Don't you know anything you dumb monkey?!" Kurama tried to pull herself up and cried out in pain.

"Here," Minato allowed her to wrap an arm around him and lifted him up.

"How embarrassing," Kurama sighed, "Having to rely on a monkey."

"Yeah, yeah," Minato started to take her out of the ship.

"The minute I'm healed I'm killing you," Kurama warned.

"I'm sure you will," Minato replied cheerfully.

"…Are you an idiot?"

"It has been said before," Minato laughed as he helped her out of the spaceship.

[###- END OF MESSAGE - ###]

"So that's how Dad met Kurama huh," Naruto blinked. "One last message huh… So this must be after she healed! This might tell me where I can find her!"

[###- PLAYING LAST VIDEO AUDIO MESSAGE- ###]

The console room looked much as it did now only slightly tidier. Sat in a chair next to the console was a humming Kurama. She was rocking a young baby in her hands, her eyes locked on to it as she hummed a little tune.

"Garga!" The baby gurgled.

"Is Naruto hungry?" Kurama smiled softly as she adjusted her armour to free one of her breasts, which the baby Naruto hungrily attached himself to. "My, my… You are a hungry little boy aren't you? My little warrior." She smiled as her tail stroked his cheeks, earning a giggle from the little baby. "I will never forget you, even if you forget me. I will always be up there looking down on you." She smiled as Naruto finished feeding.

"Babaa!" Naruto clapped his hands.

"How did something as broken as me make something as perfect as you?" Kurama rubbed her nose against the baby's face causing him to coo in delight. "How I wish I could stay with you and your father… But my time is running out." A tear started to trail down her face, "The artifact inside me is failing and each day I feel like more and more of me is being lost to the building rage within. Even your father's calming presence can only do so much for me but for you…It will keep your dark side suppressed and you will be able to live as a human. So long as nothing bad happens you will never know your true heritage." Kurama wiped a tear away, "And that's fine… That's my punishment."

"Aga?" Naruto tipped his head quizzically.

"If I take you with me… I will influence you," She stroked his head fondly, "My berserker side will accelerate yours. If I must descend to madness I'll make that trip alone… I will not take you with me." She stood up and wrapped the baby in a warm blanket and left the room. After a good ten minutes Kurama returned without baby Naruto. "Farewell my beloved little warrior," Kurama whispered as she started pressing glowing runes on the control panel. "Maybe one day I will have found a way to overcome the rage within… and then I will return and we can be a family. I entrust Minato with your safety. I ask not your forgiveness nor your understanding. Should you hate me that is fine… It will be my punishment. I let my jealousy plunge the galaxy into war and tried to justify it by accusing Gid of losing his way… when really I was the one who had." Kurama paused as if taking in her surroundings one last time. "Farewell Minato… You weren't bad for a dumb monkey. You helped me find my way again and for that I am grateful. Maybe in another life it could have worked. Farewell Earth." She whispered and pressed a button on the console.

[ALL MESSAGES VIEWED… ENDING VIEW MODE]

Naruto stood there as the screen vanished revealing the damaged ship. "I…" He ran a hand through his hair. "Where do I even start?" He sat down in a chair. "What the hell?"

"Naruto-dono!" Zastin walked into the control room, "Are you alright? I apologise for my delay but there was a force field and if Lala-sama wasn't there we would have never been able to find you."

"I… I don't even know." Naruto sighed. "I spent my life believing that my mother had abandoned me… and in a way she did but it was apparently for my sake and… Oh my head hurts."

"Naruto-dono," Zastin frowned as he looked around. "This is Kurama's old ship. It is… in very bad shape but is still space worthy and as Kurama's son it is yours by birth and by scavenger's rights."

"Muu…" Lala came into the control room. "This place will take me a while to fix."

"You can fix it?"

"Of course!" Lala beamed, "I once completely disassembled a 500 km destroyer ship and reassembled it with no problems in order to learn how they worked."

"You really are a genius aren't you," Naruto ruffled her hair fondly. "Oh Zastin… What was the Omega Project?"

"It… It was one of the worst things that the previous emperor ever decided to do." Zastin scowled. "The legends of the Omega or as it is sometimes called the 'Ultimate Devilukian' have been a part of our beliefs for a long time. Then Gid's father found some ancient Damus records… They claimed that the Damus had created the Omega by sealing the power of an Arcangus away into a devilukian. Gid's father decided he wanted one as an heir so he kidnapped thousands of devilukians and gathered as many Arcangus artifacts as he could and then… experimented on how to merge them." Zastin shivered. "They were all so young… your mother was two years old when they cut her open and forced the Arcangus artifact to merge with her own Damus core… and she was one of the oldest candidates. Out of the fifty thousand children that were experimented on… six survived. Five of them went insane and killed themselves within a week due to the constant pain. One killed everyone in the facility. That was your mother. Gid outlawed the practice as soon as he became emperor but we believe there are people out there still trying the same thing…" Zastin closed his eyes.

"When you said Kurama killed everyone… Had she gone insane?"

"Not as such, she just focused her pain into rage. What had once been the blind rage of a berserker became more focused, the artifact within her allowing her to truly think for the first time in her life and she had decided on one thing: Those that hurt her would suffer. It is said that the old emperor walked amongst the ruins of the research facility and saw the two year old Kurama and said. "She'll do nicely," Before taking her to be his daughter. Apparently she refused to talk to anyone until one day Gid, who at this point was the previous emperor's last remaining true heir, approached her and befriended her. Ever since then she was his shadow. I'm told it was quite a cute sight to see, a four year old Gid being followed by a six year old Kurama who was a good foot taller than him. She didn't speak much but if Gid got into trouble she would save him, pick him up and carry him away, ignoring the prince's protests. Of course Gid's father would punish her by whipping her. Her crime was not letting the weak die and denying the natural course of events."

"The more I hear about Gid's dad… the less of an asshole Gid seems to be by comparison."

Elsewhere

"Huh?" Gid pulled a strange face.

"…Are you okay?" Sephie asked.

"I have a feeling someone said something that could be good or bad and I can't decide whether I should be insulted or flattered…"

"…Okay honey."

Back to the Plot

"But still… I have no idea where my mother is." Naruto sighed.

"We know that she never left Earth," Zastin shrugged.

"…What?" Naruto looked at Zastin.

"Well this ship hasn't moved for many years," He rubbed his chin, "And it seems there was a protective force field that hid the ship and only let someone with Kurama's DNA to enter it. As you are her only child only the two of you could enter this ship."

"And since the ships here…"

"She hasn't left Earth." Zastin nodded.

"Maybe she took another ship?"

"The Charmians are constantly monitoring this planet." Zastin shook his head.

"The who?"

"Charmians are a race of Arcangus worshippers. To them Earth is a holy ground blessed by the Arcangus and they believe they are your caretakers. That's why Gid is aware of everything that happens on Earth, his wife is Charmian and also the High Priestess of their faith."

"I'm technically half Charmian!" Lala beamed, "Although the Charmian DNA is really weak compared to the Devilukian so you can't tell the difference between me and a pure Devilukian!"

"Can you use Arcangus powers?" Naruto asked.

"No," Lala pouted cutely, "No race has ever shown the ability to do so except humans. Fortunately Charmians won't tell anyone in case they decide to invade. After Papa first saw your aura when you threatened to beat him up Mama had to use special methods to stop him saying anything to other devilukians. Charmians are really persuasive when they need to be."

"Well…" Naruto sighed. "I've had a very long day. Let's go home."

"Ooh!" Lala beamed. "Can I fly this ship home?"

"I guess," Naruto remarked. "Does it have a stealth mode?"

"Dunno," Lala shrugged. "I want to make it go voom!"

"…Instantly regretting my decision to let you drive."

"May your gods have mercy on your soul?" Zastin saluted before fleeing the ship like a rat from a sinking ship.

"…That does not bode well." Naruto started edging towards the exit.

"Don't you want to fly with me?" Lala's bottom lip quivered.

"I…would love to…" Naruto's shoulders slumped as he followed Lala into the cockpit. "Do you know how to fly?"

"Zastin was my driving instructor!" Lala frowned as she pressed random buttons on the control panel in the cockpit.

"Ah…" Naruto looked out of the cockpit and watched as Zastin continued to run far, far away from the shuttle. "I have a really bad feeling about this."

* * *

Mikan smiled as she finished making dinner and took it into the dining area. Today was a rare occasion in the Yuuki household. The entire family was present.

"Ah that's my little girl!" Saibai cheered raising his beer with a slight blush on his face. "Another beer dear! Hey that rhymed!"

"I think you've had enough," Ringo Yuuki shook her head at her husband's antics. "It is rare enough we get time for a quiet meal like this. How has school been for you two?"

"Not too bad," Mikan smiled. "One of my friends has a boyfriend and that is all she talks about now."

"Really?" Ringo tilted her head, "And is there any boys that you are interested in?"

"Me?!" Mikan blushed, "I… I've never thought of anyone like that."

"Oh?" Ringo's motherly senses were tingling. "So you haven't met anyone you think is cute?"

"Yeah Mikan," Rito smiled, "Isn't there someone whose phone number you have who you keep writing a message to but delete it rather than send it because you are too embarrassed to send it?"

"Oh?" Mikan tilted her head, "How's asking Sarenji out going for you?"

"I…" Rito slumped.

"Ahaha," Saibai laughed. "There's plenty of time for finding love later," His face went oddly blank, "However Yuuki Mikan I would like to request your phone for no reason what so ever."

"…Real subtle there honey," Ringo elbowed her husband in the ribs.

"No one's taking my little Mikan-chan from me!" Saibai declared with tears in her eyes. "Stay with daddy Mikan-chan!"

"Get off of me!" Mikan squirmed out of her father's desperate hug.

"They grow up so fast!" He wailed into the table.

"There, there," Ringo patted his head. "How about you Rito? Still hanging around with Kenichi?"

"Yeah," Rito smiled.

"What kind of man only has one friend?!" Saibai recovered from his depression and pointed a finger at Rito.

"Well that's one more than you had at his age," Ringo remarked dryly.

"Gargh!" Saibai clutched his gut and fell over as if he'd been stabbed. "That was cruel Ringo-chan!" He moaned as he curled up in the foetal position.

"I actually kind of have a few friends now," Rito rubbed his cheek with a faint smile. 'I mean… I guess Naruto is my friend. But why did I say those things about him in that confession room? Are those my true feelings?'

They chuckled but were silenced when there was a smash in the kitchen.

"What was that?" Ringo asked.

"I'll go look," Saibai stood up. "Is anyone there?"

"Gigigigigigigig…" A strange gurgling laugh was heard.

"That noise…" Mikan shivered. "It's the same noise as I heard when that person broke into my room."

"Mikan-chan…" The strange gurgling voice called out. "I cannot hold back any longer!" A tall figure wrapped completely in bandages walked in.

"Who the hell are you?" Saibai growled.

"We were meant to be together Mikan-chan..." The creature continued.

"Back of pal!" Saibai swung a punch that tore through the creature. "Er… that was easy." Saibai frowned as a green slime started to ooze out of the hole in the thing's bandaged chest. Suddenly the bandage body fell apart to reveal a strange gelatinous creature with several objects floating in it.

"Are those… my panties?!" Mikan gasped.

"I was entranced by your scent…" The creature gurgled.

"So you stole her underwear?" Rito clenched his teeth and stood up. "I've… I've face one alien assassin before. You don't scare me?"

"You what?" Ringo glanced at her son.

"So… So stay back!" Rito picked up a baseball bat.

"Come with me Mikan-chan…" The creature advanced towards the petrified Mikan.

"I warned you!" Rito swung the bat which passed through the slime with ease.

"Nuisance…" The creature fired a glob of slime at Rito that glued him to the wall.

"Damn it," He struggled to escape. "Run Mikan!"

"Rito…" Mikan reached into her pocket. "I'll… I'll call Naruto! He'll know what to do!"

"Naruto?" Saibai frowned, "Isn't that the Yakuza in charge of finances?"

"I can't have you calling someone…" A tentacle shot out and snatched her phone away. "It will be just you and me Mikan-chan…"

"Hey…" Rito paused. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Saibai asked as he threw a plate that cut straight through the creature and out of the other side.

"It sounds like some sort of… rocket? It seems to be getting closer."

"Well I hope it's friendly!" Saibai found a tentacle wrapped around his leg that hoisted him up.

"Nuisance," the creature repeated before firing a glob at Saibai and pinning him to the wall next to Rito.

"Why am I upside down?!" He cried, "The blood's rushing to my head!"

"I think we have bigger concerns now honey," Ringo stood between a petrified Mikan and the creature. "Listen buddy, I may not look like much but I am an accomplished Martial Artist… I'll kick your ass!"

"…Too old…" The creature fired a glob at Ringo who dodged the attack and delivered a sweeping kick into the gut of the creature only to find her leg stuck. "Nuisance…" The creature wrapped a tentacle around her and stuck her to the wall next to Saibai. "Now… now more nuisances…" Several more tentacles started to materialise.

And then all hell broke loose.

The far wall exploded as a spaceship crashed into it splattering the creature and causing it to laminate most of the walls. Mikan (who had ducked beneath a table) was miraculously unaffected.

"My… My house…" Saibai blinked stupidly.

The cockpit hissed and two figures were fired into the room. One slid across the slimy floor with an embarrassed expression, the other was catapulted into a small pile of slime head first.

"Oops," Lala stuck her tongue out and hit herself on the head, "I forgot I don't know how to land."

"Lala-san?" Rito blinked. "Then that means…"

"MRgphpdjh…" Naruto stood up, his head covered in slime. He ripped the stuff off of himself and looked around. "Sorry about this. Oh hey Rito… hanging around?"

"That was terrible," Mikan sighed, feeling safe now that Naruto was here and that the slime creature was here… and there… and over there.

"So…" He wiped the slime off of himself. "What was happening here?"

"Gigigigigigi!" A hysterical laugh came from all the walls as the slime started to converge into one creature again.

"That didn't kill it?!" Saibai wailed from upside down on the wall.

"An alien?" Naruto glanced at Lala.

"I've never seen it before," Lala shrugged, "Maybe Nana would know more."

"Lala…" The creature looked at her. "Too old…"

"What?" Lala flinched. "Too…old…" She pulled out her D-Dial. "Go-Go Vacuum-kun!" A giant octopus appeared and started to hoover up the slime.

"Noo… My Mikan-chan…" The thing wailed as Lala sealed it away.

"What are we even watching here?" Ringo asked amazed.

"Gargh…" Saibai was suffering from all the blood rushing to his head.

"Okay Lala…" Naruto smiled. "You can stop it now."

"Er…" She smiled weakly, "I forgot how."

"…" Naruto stared at Lala, then at the machine that was sucking up most of the Yuuki household, then back at Lala. "You forgot how." He repeated in deadpan.

"No!" Mikan cried out as she was sucked towards the vacuum.

"Gigigigigigigi!" The creature inside seemed excited at the prospect of Mikan getting sucked inside.

"Oh hell no!" Naruto frowned and grabbed Mikan as she flew by. "Got you!"

"Naruto!" Mikan had tears in her eyes.

"Don't worry," He smiled reassuringly. "I won't let it hurt you."

"You promise?!"

"I promise." Naruto tugged her back to his side and held her there, extending the other hand towards the machine as he called on his aura.

"So warm…" Mikan mumbled as his aura seemed to caress her gently and comfort her.

"I got her!" Lala declared as she hugged the younger girl.

"Right then!" Naruto charged the vacuum, resisting the suction power by using his aura to grip the floor. Wrapping his arms around the vacuum he looked up and yelled, "Juden Akuma!" With an almighty explosion he was launched into the air, through what little of the Yuuki household was left and into the sky where he started to spin the vacuum and hurled it as far as he could into space. "And good riddance!" He yelled before aiming himself at the ground. "Juden Akuma!" He roared as he descended to Earth, landing safely.

"So…" Ringo cleared her throat. "Are you an alien or something?" She thanked Lala who helped her and the others done off the wall.

"Me?" Naruto blinked. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki pleased to meet you. I'm human… mostly."

"I'm Lala!" Lala beamed. "I'm a devilukian princess."

"Ringo nice to meet you," She smiled, "And you two seem to know Mikan and Rito…"

"Er yeah," Naruto laughed, "They are some of my precious people."

"Naruto," Mikan smiled before freezing in horror.

"What's up?" Naruto tilted his head causing the item that had caused Mikan to stop to fall off of his head and into his hands. "Huh? What are these?" He held them up. "Oh… a girls panties." He froze and made eye contact with Mikan causing them both to blush.

"W-well don't just hold them like that!"

"Sorry!" Naruto dropped them.

"Hey?" Saibai growled. "Who do you think you are touching my Mikan-chan's panties?"

"Dad!" Mikan blushed.

"Sorry!" Naruto repeated. "It was an accident!"

"An accident?!" Saibai roared.

"I didn't mean to!"

"Why not?!"

"…Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Isn't she the perfect wife? She cooks, she cleans not to mention she is mature and beautiful! Who wouldn't want to smell her panties?!"

"When did I smell them? Do you think I am some sort of pervert?"

"Why? Would only a pervert like my little Mikan-chan Yakuza-kun?!"

"I… I…" Naruto glanced at Lala who was smiling at him. "Of course not! And I'm not in the Yakuza!"

"What kind of non-Yakuza would destroy my house then steal Mikan-chan's underwear?! Now take responsibility!" Saibai declared.

"DAD!" Mikan's blush was practically going supernova at this point.

"I didn't steal her panties! But I suppose you're right," Naruto sighed. "I have to take responsibilty for what has happened."

"What?" Rito and Mikan cried out at the same time.

"Lala is my guest and she destroyed your house," Naruto continued, "It is only fair I take responsibility for my actions and offer you refuge at my house until your house is repaired."

"So long as you understand," Saibai nodded.

"You were talking about our housing situation?!" Rito's shoulders slumped with relief.

"Who could have thought we were talking about anything else?" Naruto looked confused.

"I… You…" Mikan just started to laugh.

"Did I miss something?" Naruto frowned.

"Beats me," Saibai shrugged.

* * *

**Extra Info: New Attacks**

**Attack Name:** Seal of Satalin

**Power Level:** X4 Power Level (Basic) X10 Power Level (Full Release)

**Alignment:** Satalin Only – Damus Transformation Ability

**Translation:** Not Applicable

**Description**

Lala allows her Damus spirit to merge with her (or completely over power her) in order to increase her power level considerably. Gives her the ability to manipulate fire and control the sin of Wrath.

* * *

**Attack Name: Seal of Astar**

**Power Level:** X3 Power Level (Basic) X 8 Power Level (Full Release)

**Alignment:** Astar Only – Damus Transformation Ability

**Translation:** Not Applicable

**Description**

Nana allows her Damus spirit to merge with her (or completely over power her) in order to increase her power level considerably. Gives her minor control over the sins of Sloth and Vanity.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Seal of Belial

**Power Level**: X3.5 Power Level (Basic) X 9 Power Level (Full Release)

**Alignment:** Astar Only – Damus Transformation Ability

**Translation:** Not Applicable

**Description**

Momo allows her Damus spirit to merge with her (or completely over power her) in order to increase her power level considerably. Gives her minor control over the sin of lust and sensory manipulation

* * *

**Attack Name:** Yōyū Ikari

**Power Level:** 75 (Can be charged up to 10X)

**Alignment:** Satalin Only – Damus Higher Ability.

**Translation:** Molten Wrath

**Description**

Satalin-Lala condenses her Damus energy into a small orb of pure magma. This super-heated orb can burn through pretty much any material. Only aura's offer some sort of protection against this attack. While not the fastest attack it can continue through several targets until something else annoys Satalin-Lala and she dismisses the attack to launch another one.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Oni Supaiku Ame

**Power Level:** 20 [10 crystals per attack] (Can be charged up to explode into more crystals: Max 100)

**Alignment:** Belial Only – Damus Higher Ability.

**Translation**: Demon Spike Rain

**Description**

Belial-Momo crystallises her Damus energy and causes the crystal to explode showering the target area with red crystals. As with all of Belial's abilities this allows her some control over the targets nervous system although only the immediate area of impact is affected

* * *

**Attack Name:** Oni Tsuki Shotto

**Power Level:** 90 (Can be charged up to 10X)

**Alignment:** Belial Only – Damus Higher Ability.

**Translation:** Demon Spike Rain

**Description**

Belial-Momo crystallises her Damus energy into a long thin spear which she propels at a target at impressive speeds. As with all of Belial-Momo's attacks this allows her complete control over the targets nervous system… supposing they survive being impaled by a large crystal spear.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Namakemono no hōyō

**Power Level:** 50 (Can be charged up to 10X)

**Alignment:** Astar Only – Damus Higher Ability.

**Translation:** Sloth's Embrace

**Description**

Astar-Nana bestows the Sin of Sloth onto an item. If the item is a creature the target maintains free will as well as receiving the ability to drain the energy of anything it comes into contact with. If the item has no sentience then Astar-Nana can control it mentally so long as she maintains concentration. The power level is the maximum power level it can absorb before the ability wears off or the number of minutes that the ability lasts.

* * *

**Attack Name:** Ikari ni michita sekai no hakai

**Power Level:** 3000 (Charges at the users power level*3 every minute. (Takes Lala (Damus (4x) 5 mins to charge this attack)

**Alignment**: Satalin Only – Damus Final Attack

**Translation:** Wrathful World Destruction

**Description**

Satalin-Lala gathers an incredible amount of energy to create a huge compressed sphere of magma surrounded by a thin layer of unstable Damus energy. On striking a target the outer layer explodes with the force of an Atom bomb, completely destroying the area it hits and is capably of wiping out an entire city. If Satalin-Lala maintains concentration on the attack it will continue to burrow into the ground until she stops the attack. If it reaches the planet's core then the attack detonates, causing the world to shatter in an apocalyptic firestorm. Protip… If she starts using it either kill her quickly or get the hell off the planet. In fact just get out of the solar system to be on the safe side

* * *

**Attack Name:** Sanando Ventus

**Power Level:** (Depends on size of injuries trying to be healed 10 – Minor 25- Major 50- Severe 100- Regeneration of Lost limbs)

**Alignment:** Arcangus Energy – Basic Healing

**Translation:** Healing Winds

**Description**

By transferring his/her energy into a willing (or unconscious) target an Arcangus energy user is able to heal their wounds. While this does also work on Damus energy users (e.g. Devilukians) it causes them pain as their own energy burns away any excess Arcangus energy.

* * *

**Power Levels**

Minato Namikaze (No Aura) - 5

Nana (Damus (4x)) - 150

Momo (Damus (4x), Sealed) - 175

Lala (Damus (4x)) - 200


	17. Chapter 17: Sacred Vows

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: I feel the need to point out that Kurama's arc is not a romantic arc between Naruto and Kurama. It is about her backstory and her relationships with Minato and Gid and the other Holy Knights. Sorry if you were hoping for a genuine incestuous relationship in this story rather than the pseudo incest of Naru-Kushi.

Also this is the last chapter of the Risa Arc. Next is the Kushina Arc. As it stands the polls are as follows:

1) Bat Country (Momo's Story) 123 16%

2) How to Save a Life (Mikado's Story) 122 16%

3) Mz Hyde (Kurama's Story) 112 14%

4) Hate it when you see me cry (Rin's Story) 107 14%

5) Waking the Demon (Nana's Story) 99 13%

6) Methadone (Kyouko's Story) 80 10%

7) Try (Haruna's Story) 63 8%

8) Poison (Fu's Story) 55 7%

As you can see the top five are all fairly close so will be appearing in this story at some point. Sixth place stands a good chance of being in this story but the other two will probably be in the sequel.

After Kushina's Story it will be Momo's then Mikado's. I will reset the poll so all of you who voted for the Kurama storyline can change their choice if they want.

Special thanks to Shinnagami for being a lightning fast Beta reader.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

Chapter 17: Sacred Vows

Risa sat down in her new room looking around.

"I thought a woman's wedding was supposed to be the best day of her life," She mumbled as she looked at the ring on her finger. "This… This is not how I envisioned this ending." She stood up. "But… It looks like my mother won." She shook her head as she tried to assimilate everything that had happened. The door opened and an injured Naruto walked in.

"Urgh," Naruto sat down next to her clutching his ribs. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Risa smiled at him weakly. "You don't look so good."

"Meh," Naruto winched as he stretched out, "This is just an average day for me." He closed his eyes and allowed his aura to speed up his healing.

"This was average?"

"Well… the Earth wasn't in jeopardy today so maybe not so average," Naruto laughed weakly.

"How did this all come to be?" Risa shook her head.

"Well I suppose it all started this morning…" Naruto stared off into the distance.

* * *

"Stop!" Naruto scowled. "Freeze! Slow!" He was squinting really hard at a wall whilst he waited for breakfast to be made. Mikan had volunteered to cook for them as a thank you for letting her and her brother stay the night.

"Are you okay?" Rito asked. He had been watching Naruto shout at the wall for several minutes now.

"I'm fine," Naruto sighed, "I… When I got attacked by those thugs who were attacking Yui-chan I managed to slow my perception of time down to a crawl. I'm trying to force it to happen manually."

"Okay?" Rito turned his attention back to the kitchen.

"Za Warudo!" Naruto cried out. "Damn it… I have exhausted everything I could think of!"

"Maybe it was just an adrenaline rush?" Mikan suggested as she walked out of the kitchen carrying some food.

"Man," Naruto took an appreciative sniff of the food, "You really are something when it comes to cooking. I envy the man who marries you."

"Thanks," Mikan smiled softly with a faint blush.

"Well whoever it is better treat her right!" Rito declared. "Or else I'll have to teach him a lesson!"

"How to be a good gardener?" Mikan suggested.

"How to fall over and end up in erotic situations?" Naruto offered.

"Hey!" Rito crossed his arms, "I won't let anyone hurt my little sister! It's my responsibility as a big brother to look after her."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled at Mikan, "If you ever get into trouble just give Rito a call." He paused, "He has my number after all."

"Hah, hah," Rito sighed.

"Time Stop!" Naruto called out. "Damn it!"

"Are you going to do that all day?" Mikan chuckled.

"Up until it works." Naruto started eating his breakfast.

"Naruto!" Lala happily skipped down stairs wearing only a towel.

"Lala," He smiled as she sauntered up to him and gave him a brief kiss.

"Breakfast Deviluke-san?" Mikan asked in a slightly strange tone.

"Ooh!" Lala beamed. "Thank you!" If she noticed that her serving was slightly smaller than everyone else's she didn't comment and happily ate it.

"Oh?" Momo and Nana shortly joined the group at the table. "We have new roommates?"

"It was their house that Lala crashed into." Naruto remarked.

"It was an accident?" Lala suggested weakly. "And I could have re-built the house," She pouted cutely earning a small hug from Naruto and a small twitch from Mikan.

"We had enough work erasing people's memories from the spaceship crashing into the house," Momo deadpanned. She had bags under her eyes. "I didn't even managed to claim my usual spot in Naruto's bed." She whined. "But if someone could think of a way to make it up to me," She leaned into Naruto's back and started nibbling his ear.

"What do you want Momo?" Naruto asked.

"Oh I don't know… How about you and me… naked and sweaty…" Momo whispered.

"Your breakfast Deviluke-san," An even smaller portion of food was handed to Momo, who raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything as she took the meal.

"Thanks," She smiled, flashing Lala a questioning glance who dismissed it with a gentle shake of her head. "Hey not bad. You should stay here!"

"Ah well…" Mikan cleared her throat. "I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"Not at all," Momo smiled. "In fact…" She stared critically at Mikan before nodding, "Yes."

"What?!"

"There's room in Naruto's bed for you."

"W-what?!" Rito and Mikan cried out in alarm.

"I… I mean…" Mikan floundered around.

"Ecchi," Yami remarked from the ceiling.

"Who… who was that?" Mikan glanced around.

"Me." Yami appeared before the group.

"Oh I didn't know someone of my age was here," Mikan brightened and smiled at Yami. "Nice to meet you I am Mikan Yuuki."

"…They call me Yami." Yami stated bluntly.

"So… Why are you here?" Mikan asked as she made a slightly larger serving for Yami.

"I have to monitor Onii-sama." Yami nodded at Naruto.

"Oh?" Mikan smiled cheerfully. "You have a big brother you have to look after as well?"

"…" Yami didn't immediately respond. She glanced at Naruto critically before returning her blank gaze to Mikan "I have to decide whether he is ecchi or not and punish him as required."

"I see," Mikan nodded, "A little sister has to keep their big brothers in line."

"I can understand why you'd have to keep Rito in line but I'll have you know that I am perfectly well behaved." Naruto remarked.

"I'm not that bad!" Rito protested.

"Yes you are," Mikan and Naruto replied in sync. "Unlike me." Naruto added.

"Really?" Nana crossed her arms. "You are a perverted beast and must be leashed to stop you doing unspeakable things!"

"Is he that bad?" Mikan asked.

"Yes," Nana nodded eagerly despite Naruto's protests.

"I see…" Mikan made Nana a portion equal in size to Yami's.

Any further comment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Naruto walked to the door and opened it. "Yui-chan? What's a matter?"

"I…" Yui bit her lip. "I was walking down the street when… when someone approached me…"

"What'd they do?" Naruto grabbed her, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. He wasn't a threat or anything. In fact he gave me this," Yui handed a letter to Naruto.

"A wedding Invitation?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"He asked if I was a friend of Risa's since I looked familiar," Yui explained.

"Huh?" Naruto opened the invite. "You are cordially invited to the blessed Union of Hyuuga Neji and… Momioka Risa?"

"Risa?" Rito blinked. "That's one of Haruna's friends right?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "They go way back. I've known her a fair few years as well. I… I never knew that she was getting married. I thought…"

_"Naruto has helped me out a lot. He… I guess what I am trying to say is I do really care about him. Of course he just brushes off my advances," Risa sighed sadly._

"Naruto?" Lala interrupted his daydream with a worried look.

"Sorry just remembering something," Naruto smiled apologetically. "I wonder why Risa didn't let me know she was getting married... And Neji Hyuuga… he sounds familiar."

"I don't like it," Lala scowled. "Risa-chan wouldn't keep something this big a secret. Something is off!"

"She has been absent from school for a few days now," Naruto scowled. "I'm going to her house to ask if everything's alright… Actually I've got a better idea!" He pulled out his phone and dialled a number. "Hello?"

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna answered.

"Have you got Risa-chan's number?"

"Er… Yes," Haruna sounded concerned. "Do you want it?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "Have you heard that Risa's getting married?"

"What?" Haruna sounded shocked. "Are you sure?"

"I've got an invite right here," Naruto glanced at the envelope. "Getting married to a Neji Hyuuga… Sound familiar?"

"No, she's never mentioned any boy but… well…"

"Who?"

"It's not my place to say," Haruna sounded apologetic. "I'll text you her number."

"Thanks I owe you one." He glanced over his shoulder at Rito. "Maybe there's a number you want in exchange?"

"What do you mean?" Haruna sounded confused.

"Never mind," Naruto shook his head. "Thanks Sarenji-san."

"I hope you sort everything out. I'll ask Mio is she knows what is going on."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled as he ended the call.

"Urgh," Kushina stumbled down the stairs. "Food… Need food…."

"Here," Mikan happily served Kushina. She had been chatting with Nana and Yami, although Yami only made the occasional blunt contribution to the conversation.

"…." Kushina cleared her plate and stared at it intently. "Naruto…"

"Yes?"

"This one gets added to the harem," Kushina nodded at Mikan who went crimson.

"Uzumaki-sensei!" Rito exclaimed.

"I don't have a harem," Naruto reassured Rito, "Kushina was just showing her appreciation for Mikan's cooking in her own way."

"Overlooking your obvious denial when it comes to your harem," Momo rolled her eyes, "Kushina has a good point. We are sorely lacking in skilled cooks in this house. How about she stays and cooks for us as rent?"

"We are not making Mikan-chan our chef," Naruto ruffled her hair earning an angry pout from the young girl. "As much as I would enjoy eating her cooking we can't go kidnapping people."

"How about recruiting her into the harem?" Lala tilted her head.

"Once again," Naruto rubbed his forehead, "I don't have a harem."

"We should really get him to see a therapist or something to deal with his denial issues," Momo muttered to Nana.

"Agreed," Nana nodded.

"Ignoring the twins over there," Naruto cleared his throat, "You can't go marrying me off to random people just because they have a skill that you want in the family. Besides Mikan-chan probably wouldn't want to marry me."

"Well…" Mikan looked down, "Naruto-san is a nice person. If I married someone like him then I… I couldn't complain too much."

"Ah shucks," Naruto smiled and ruffled her hair again, earning an exasperated sigh from the girl. "Ah!" He glanced at his phone. "I've got Risa-chan's number. Let's see what she has to say."

* * *

Risa sat staring blankly at the mirror as a few people hurried around her. They assured her that she looked beautiful and that she was lucky to be marrying such a handsome young man. All of their words were merely background chatter as far as she was concerned.

As she took in the silk dress that she was wearing she had to admit she looked good. It was the kind of wedding dress that young girls would dream of wearing when they got married to prince Charming. Clearly her mother had spared no expense when it came to the dress.

She was jerked back to reality when her phone started to ring. Picking it up off the table she saw a number she didn't recognise.

"Hello?"

"Risa-chan?"

"Naruto? Is that you?"

"The one and only," Naruto's voice sounded cheerful, "I was just ringing to see if you were alright."

"I'm fine," Risa replied shortly. "I have to go but…"

"To get married?"

"…"

"So… Are you going to say something?"

"Yes… I am busy getting married."

"You never said anything." He sounded concerned, "If they are forcing you…"

"They aren't." Risa closed her eyes. 'If he comes it will only make matters worse. Haruna's sister's job, Mio's future career and… Naruto's very life would be in danger.' "I'm very happy."

"Are you sure? Listen I'm on my way. I have an invitation and…"

"NO!" Risa yelled, "Don't!"

"Why?"

"Because…" Risa fought back tears, _'I am so sorry Naruto…'_, "Because I hate you!"

"What?!"

"You are nothing more than a delinquent! Ever since you arrived you've caused me nothing but trouble. I never want to see you again!" She hung up and sobbed._ 'I love you Naruto and I don't want you to get hurt. Please stay away!_'

"It is time for the ceremony to begin," Ryoko entered the room. "Risa? Don't cry you'll ruin your makeup. I promise you by the end of today everything will be better. I promise."

"I doubt that severely," Risa muttered as she followed her mother out of the room.

* * *

"Naruto?" Lala noticed Naruto lowed the phone. "Are you okay?"

"Does anybody know how to fly a spaceship?" Naruto asked.

"Ooh me!" Lala waved energetically.

"…Anybody else?" Naruto asked. "Anyone?" He sighed. "Fine… Lala."

"Yay!" Lala cheered.

"Let's board my mother's ship." Naruto remarked. "We have a wedding to go to."

"Why the spaceship?" Kushina asked.

"I know Risa," Naruto scowled, "And the things she said… It was clear that something wasn't right. Like she was worried for my sake rather than her own. If flying a hi-tech battleship isn't enough to convince her that I can protect myself I don't know what is. Besides…" He had a dark look on his face, "I have a feeling we might be testing the weapons on that ship."

"This is a whole new side to you," Kushina smirked. "Kushina likes."

"You do know how many minds we will have to erase right?" Momo sighed, "Can't you just take a bus."

"A bus wouldn't send the same message." Naruto scowled. "Risa sounded scared and I want her to know that I can protect her against anything and anyone who harms her will know my displeasure!"

"Damn," Kushina smiled. "You're always sexy but angry you…" She fanned herself, "You really got my motor running."

"Way to kill the mood," Naruto sighed heavily.

"Listen," Momo pinched the bridge of her nose, "I know you are angry right now but how about you take a second to think things through?"

"Okay," Naruto paused. "Right I'm done. I'm going to that wedding and I am going to… give my respects to the groom."

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "So we aren't taking the ship?"

"Momo's right." Naruto admitted begrudgingly, "The spaceship is an alien vessel and will attract attention we don't want. Besides..." He pulled out his phone, "Jiraiya probably has the kind of vehicle I'm after… like a tank."

"And that won't attract attention?" Momo asked.

"Not in Sainan."

"Point taken," Momo smirked.

"Okay," Lala looked a little disappointed. "I'll carry on working on the ship and a little side product I've got going on."

"You sure you don't want to come?" Naruto asked.

"I'm sure you won't need me," Lala smiled. "After all your opponents are only human," She gave him a peck on the cheek. "I imagine it will be over quite quickly."

"I… I will stay here," Yui looked apologetic, "I wouldn't want to get in the way."

"You're never in the way Yui-chan," Naruto squeezed her hand earning a faint blush.

"I'll go with you," Kushina grinned. "There'll be time for a quickie on the way there!"

Yui, Nana and Mikan blushed furiously.

"Ecchi," Yami stated disapprovingly.

"There won't be time for a quickie," Naruto sighed.

"There is always time for a quickie!" Kushina declared.

"Here, here!" Momo agreed.

"No!" Lala shook her head. "A quickie is not allowed!"

"Huh?"

"In order to fully enjoy it you need at least thirty minutes!" Lala crossed her arms. "I refuse for any of my harem sisters to have less than the most mind blowing sex possible. Anything less would just be wasting Naruto's skills!"

"I…" Naruto blinked, "I'm not even sure who to respond to that."

"What?" Rito smirked, "No 'I don't have a harem?'"

"At least he has a girlfriend," Mikan replied to Rito

"Ouch," Rito sulked, "Why have you got to side with him?"

"Reasons," Mikan mumbled.

* * *

Risa walked down the aisle as if she was in a trance. She could see people all around her through her veil but the music was distant and unclear, as if she were drunk. 'He probably hates me now.' She thought back to her words with Naruto. 'But… this is now it must be." She closed her eyes.

_Flash Back_

_"Ouch!" Keisuke fell to the floor clutching his bruised cheek._

_"There's more where that came from!" An eight year old Naruto declared as he stood between Risa and her parents. "Don't you see that you are hurting Risa-chan?!"_

_"I wouldn't expect a brat like you to understand," Ryoko snarled. "Now leave this house before I call the police."_

_"You've got quite a mean left hook there," Keisuke laughed good-naturedly._

_"My right's even more powerful!" Naruto declared proudly._

_"You really care about my little Risa-chan don't you?" Keisuke stood up._

_"Hai!" Naruto nodded energetically, "She's one of my most precious people!"_

_"I see," Keisuke noted the blush and look of adoration on Risa's face. "Well then… In that case there's only one thing I can do?"_

_"And what's that?" Naruto narrowed his eyes._

_"I surrender oh mighty one," Keisuke bowed his head to Naruto._

_"Dad?" Risa blinked._

_"Kei?" Ryoko looked horrified._

_"Yep," He nodded sagely. "I have been defeated. We bow to your wishes oh hero."_

_"…Seriously?" Naruto dropped his guard._

_"I am a man of my word," Keisuke nodded. "Risa-chan," He smiled at his daughter, "You are free to wear what you like and act how you like."_

_"R-really?" Risa beamed. "Thank you dad!"_

_"So long as she acts in accordance with her station," Ryoko cut in._

_"No," Keisuke shook his head. "So long as she is happy."_

_"If you ever upset her again…" Naruto waved a fist in what was supposed to be a threatening manner but giving his young age and stature actually was kind of cute, "I'll beat you all up!"_

_"I'll keep that in mind." Keisuke chuckled as Naruto and Risa left the house._

_"T-thank you Naruto," She smiled at her friend._

_"Don't mention it," Naruto grinned. "You're important to me. I'll never let anyone hurt you!"_

_"Naruto…" Risa blushed furiously._

_"Eh? Are you ill?" Naruto tested her temperature, "Oh no! What do I do?!" He started panicking causing Risa to laugh._

_"Thank you Naruto," She repeated before giving him a quick peck on the cheek and running away._

_"Huh?" Naruto was confused but merely shrugged, "Are we playing a game? Hey wait up!" He chased after her, the two children laughing merrily._

_End Flashback_

"Naruto…" Risa opened her eyes to find she was stood at the altar. Neji was wearing a formal kimono, slightly at odds with the western style wedding. He looked in a foul mood.

"We are gathered her today…" The priest started to speak when suddenly the main entrance to the church collapsed and the sound of an engine drowned out the cries of alarm.

"Jesus Christ!" The vicar exclaimed before freezing, "Forgive me my blasphemy oh gracious lord."

A challenger tank was now where the entrance to the church was and most of the guests had rapidly fled in fear.

"What the…" Risa blinked.

The hatch opened and a very familiar face popped out.

"I OBJECT!" Naruto roared.

There was silence to his objection.

"Er… Please tell me that you just said if there is anyone who knows of any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, please speak now or for ever hold your peace."

"Sorry," The vicar shook his head.

"Aw man," Naruto clambered out of the tank. He was wearing a suit (the same suit he had worn when he had gone on the date with Yui-chan) and brushed the dust from it. "Admit it, if I had my timing right that would have been awesome."

"Stop there!" An armed guard pulled out an assault rifle. "I'll shoot."

"Try me," Naruto grinned.

"I warned you!" The guard fired a short burst of automatic fire and Naruto's hands seemed to flicker out of existence before reappearing. "What the?"

"Yeah," Naruto held out his hands with a bullet caught between each finger. "Guns won't work on me."

"What… what?" The guard turned tail and ran.

"You just can't get good staff," Naruto dropped the bullets with a smile.

"My church…" The vicar started.

"Will be repaired!" Jiraiya climbed out of the tank with a grin.

"Oh it's you," The vicar sighed.

"The one and only!" Jiraiya proclaimed. "Ohoh!" He grinned. "So you are the groom eh?"

"Grandmaster Jiraiya?" Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Grandmaster?" Naruto asked.

"I'm kind of a big deal in the Arcangus world and this guy has an aura. He hasn't mastered it though so I wouldn't worry too much." Jiraiya waved dismissively, "Don't suppose you'd do me and my grandson a solid and not marry Risa eh?"

"I will not back down." Neji snarled.

"I have a tank," Naruto grinned. "Sure you don't want to rethink that?"

"My Name is Neji Hyuuga and mine is the crest of Josephinia," A blue emblem appeared on his arm releasing a powerful blast of Arcangus energy. When the blast subsided Neji had four transparent blue wings and what looked like elegant plate armour made from the same energy that composed his wings. "Kenno Tsubasa (A/N: Sword Wing)" He muttered as two of his wings turned into longswords. "I am the Heir of the Hyuuga and I will not lose to some street thug. Especially not you Naruto!" He threw one of the swords which Naruto sidestepped watching as it carried on through the tank causing it to fall into two halves, sheered cleanly down the middle.

"My tank!" Jiraiya cried out. "Do you know what I had to do to get that?! On a side note, looks like you have vastly improved with your Arcangus skills. Good job."

"I have the feeling you are pissed. Do you actually care about Risa or have I done something to you in the past?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"You cost me Rin but you will not cost me Risa. I will have the Momioka family's riches!"

"Rin?" Naruto looked confused but before Neji could elaborate Risa ran between them.

"Stop!" She looked at Naruto. "I told you not to come!"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me." Naruto walked up to her. "If you truly want to marry this guy I will not interfere."

"I…" Risa looked at Naruto's deep blue eyes. They were full of nothing but concern for her. "I..." She fell to her knees, "I can't say it. I love you Naruto!" She leapt to her feet and kissed him. "But… This… It's the best thing for everyone..."

"Sorry," Naruto grinned, "I didn't hear anything after 'I love you.'"

"Naruto?" Risa blinked as Naruto lifted her up in a bridal carry and took her to Kushina who was leaning against one half of the tank nonchalantly. She had come dressed in a military commander's outfit (which Naruto found surprisingly sexy considering nothing was on show although it was a little tight across her chest).

"Look after Risa for me?"

"Will I get a kiss as well?" Kushina asked.

"…Fine," Naruto sighed and kissed her causing her to moan into his kiss and whine disappointedly when he ended it.

"If I sprain my wrist tonight reliving this sexual tension you've built up…" Kushina sighed.

"I'll kiss it better," Naruto smirked.

"So if I sprain my…"

"No," Naruto interrupted her getting a pout.

"Is she always like this?" Risa laughed.

"Pretty much and she's not even the worst one. You still sure you love me?"

"Yeah," Risa nodded. "And you?"

"Me?"

"Do you love me?"

"…You are a very precious person to me." Naruto admitted. "But it's too early to say if I love you or not. I care for you deeply and will do anything to protect you but to call it love…"

"Most people would," Kushina cut in.

"Yeah that sounds like love to me," Risa kissed Naruto again, "I… I could get used to doing that. So don't you dare lose."

"I don't know the meaning of the word," Naruto turned from the girls. "You might want to clear the church. I have a feeling this is going to get messy."

"Right!" Kushina saluted. "Be careful, Josephinia is the Arcangus of Diligence and Light. They say she could see everything that happened around her. You can't pull off sneak attacks against him."

"How'd you know that?"

"I used to have an Arcangus spirit inside me," She frowned. "I… I don't know what happened to it though. The only way to lose it is…"

"Don't think about it," Naruto cut her off for fear of triggering her memory seal. "Just look after Risa and I might reward you later."

"Got it sir!" Kushina saluted again before leading Risa out of the church.

"So…" Naruto felt his Damus aura erupt around him, the urge to crush Neji beneath his feet flooded his entire being. "You want to surrender how and save me some trouble?"

"What power is that?" Neji scowled. "It feels wild and savage. It fits you to a tee."

"Yeah well your power feels arrogant and stuck up."

"Stop the posturing and start the fighting already," Jiraiya sat atop of one half of the tank.

"Juden Akuma!" Naruto roared and charged Neji striking him in the chest resulting in a devastating explosion that send both combatants sprawling backwards.

"Idiot boy!" Jiraiya laughed. "Damus and Arcangus energies are incompatible! If they connect they explode violently!"

"You could have mentioned that sooner," Naruto grumbled as he climbed over the pew he had crashed through.

"More destruction? As expected of a wild beast," Neji remarked as he used his wings to recover in mid-air.

"So I guess that means ranged attacks will be more potent eh?" Naruto grinned toothily. "Fine by me! Akuma Yari!" Naruto launched a blast of Damus energy straight Neji who swung his last sword to cleave the attack in half, causing the attack to detonate in his face.

"Ahahahaha!" Naruto laughed, "Didn't you listen? Arcangus and Damus energy doesn't mix!"

When the smoke cleared a furious Neji glared at him. "Why is it every time I try and better my social standing you get in the way?"

"What can I say? I just love screwing over jackasses like you."

"And those were his last words," Neji mocked as he raised an arm into the air, "Musa Noya (Countless Arrows)." Feathers seem to fall from his wings and levitate around Neji pointing at Naruto.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto smirked and created a large ball of Damus energy in his hand, "Akuma Danmaku!"

The blitz of small Damus blasts and the barrage of the Arcangus feathers caused the building to shake a fill with smoke.

"I can't see anything," Naruto bit his lip.

"How predictable," Neji's voice seemed to come from all directions at once. "A wild beast only hurrying to his own defeat."

"What do you…?" He paused as he recalled Kushina's warning, "Damn it your Arcangus Spirit allows you to see through the smoke or something."

"Or something yes." Neji mocked. "Musa Noya."

"Damn!" Naruto leapt to the side as a barrage of the glowing feathers struck from every angle. "This sucks!" He stumbled over a destroyed bench and several light blasts hit him directly. "Argh!"

"Do you even understand the power you face?"

"I know all about the Arcangus and Damus if that is what you mean." Naruto grumbled as he climbed out of the small crater made by the attacks.

_**'Huh… You're not doing too well.'**_ Asmodea commented.

_'Any advice?'_

**_'You are fighting a human, you are far more durable than he is. You can afford to take a few hits but he doesn't know that.'_**

_'You want me to play dead?'_

**_'Hey you asked for my advice. It's either that or use some sort of area attack.'_**

"Great," Naruto mumbled. He could feel a deep fire burning inside. He wanted to hurt Neji, to make sure he could never cause Risa or any of his precious people pain again. This was why he didn't like using the Damus aura. He could feel it slowly warping him. "Shoten!" He roared compressing his aura. "Kai!" He unleashed his aura in an explosive wave blasting away the smoke and causing another explosion as the wave struck the Arcangus aura of Neji causing him to crash into a wall. "That's better," He grinned. "I can see you know."

"Bastard," Neji groaned as he wiped some blood from his face.

"Bitchwhosabouttogetownedsayswhat?"

"What?"

"Exactly," Naruto held his palm towards Neji, "Akuma Danmaku!" The barrage of energy blasts struck Neji causing him to cry out in pain. "Wait… somethings not right here." His line of thought was cut off by an attack coming from behind and hitting him in the head before detonating.

"Did that bench do something to you?" Neji mocked.

"But…" Naruto glanced at where he was sure that Neji was but all that was there was an almost completely destroyed bench. But he had heard Neji's cry of pain and… "Wait a minute. Kushina said your Arcangus had control over light… Does that mean…" Naruto was cut off by Neji.

"That's right," Neji smirked, "I can manipulate the light in this room to make 'light' clones, mere illusions that you can't damage but that are completely indistinguishable from the real thing. Add to that my ability to throw my voice and the illusions just get more realistic."

"…Yes that. That's totally what I was going to say," Naruto coughed awkwardly. _'Thank god I was wrong imagine if he really could move at the speed of light.'_

"How can you defeat me if you can't even tell which one is the real me?" Neji asked as a swarm of him surrounded Naruto, taunting him.

"Akuma Danmaku!" Naruto fired a blitz of attacks at all the clones, all of his attacks passing through them without affect. "What… if none of these clones are real then… above!" Naruto dived to the side as Neji crashed into the floor, plunging his sword deep into the stone and causing a shockwave that detonated on impact with Naruto, sending him hurtling back into the church. "Damn it!" He rolled with the impact and quickly got back to his feet only to see several sneering Neji's.

"A mindless beast such as yourself can never match one of my skills."

"Big deal," Naruto growled. "You can make illusions." He conjured a giant ball of energy. "Well so can I!"

"Really?"

"Really!" Naruto tried to focus the his thoughts on a mirror image of himself and fed the image to the collected energy which started to fluctuate wildly before exploding and sending Naruto flying.

"Really? Is that your trick?"

"Urgh?" Naruto staggered to his feet. "Well… that's interesting."

"I was just about to say the same thing boss." Another Naruto stretched out. Unlike the original this one had slitted red eyes and a devilukean tail.

"What… what have you done?" Neji blinked.

"Hehehe," Naruto wiped the blood from his lip. "Unlike your petty illusions mine is a solid clone!"

"That's right!" Clone Naruto declared, "So what are you going to do now?"

"Your petty illusion doesn't fool me!" Neji charged at Naruto.

"Bitch you better not be ignoring me!" Clone Naruto grinned, "Akuma Juden!" He surrounded himself in his aura and charged at Neji intercepting the attack and detonating in a blinding blast of energy that knocked Naruto off of his feet and scattered the few remaining benches in the church.

"What…" Naruto blinked as a red sphere flew out of the smoke and merged with him, giving him the memories of the recently deceased clone. "That's… very interesting." Naruto grinned.

"How…" Neji coughed up blood as he crawled from the crater he had landed in. "How can you be… so strong… you are a savage…"

"Well I'm not the most elegant person I'll admit that," Naruto cleared out his ear. "But when it comes to the happiness of the people I love… I will not give up. I will fight until my body fails, I will shout until I lose my voice and so long as my soul is still intact; I will never surrender."

"No… I won't lose… to someone like you!" Neji held his hands apart as if cupping a ball. A small blue light started to flicker and grow in brightness.

"What are you doing?" Naruto scowled. "Akuma Bunshin (Demon Clone)," He summoned the clone back.

"What's the plan boss?"

"We take him down obviously," Naruto held out a hand creating a small sphere of Damus energy the slowly grew. "By overpowering whatever technique he uses. We have to prove to Risa that we are strong enough to overcome any obstacles!"

"Simple," The Akuma Clone grinned, "I like it." He mimicked the original and created a sphere of Damus energy.

"Tenshi No Seikatai! (Angelic Choir)" Neji roared and launched a giant beam of blue light at Naruto.

"Oh crap!" Naruto thrust his palm at Neji, "Akuma Yari!" A smaller red beam screamed towards Neji.

"Akuma Yari!" The Akuma clone joined his attack with Naruto but the combined beam was still being overpowered by Neji's attack and was getting forced back. Where the attacks were meeting a highly unstable looking purple core was steadily making its way to Naruto and his clone.

"Even doubled you cannot challenge me!" Neji roared.

"How about quadrupled?" Naruto spat back.

"What do you mean by that?"

"SHOTEN!" Naruto and his clone roared in unison. The red beam shrunk but grew far brighter and began to push the unstable purple core towards Neji.

"No… No! I will not lose!"

"YOU JUST DID!" Naruto roared as he and his clone put one last surge of energy into the attack causing the purple core to strike Neji and detonate with such force that the roof started to cave in.

"Did we do that?" The Akuma clone looked sheepish until a beam crushed it, causing a red crackle of energy to surge towards Naruto, who absorbed it.

"Well that was easy." Naruto remarked before he noticed the badly wounded Neji lying helpless beneath some falling rubble. "Damn it!" He ran towards him.

Neji looked up to see a large chunk of the ceiling falling towards him. "So this is now it ends." He closed his eyes and waited to die. After an embarrassingly long time, he opened his eyes and blinked stupidly. "What…"

"Don't say anything," Naruto gritted his teeth as he struggled with the giant chunk of masonry. "This is really heavy. I'll bet it's a ton or something. Gotta love that Damus powered strength," Naruto chuckled as he struggled with the rock.

"If you were going to save me why didn't you just vaporise the masonry with your energy attack?"

"…Didn't think of that," Naruto admitted as he fell to one knee.

"Well haven't the tables turned now," Neji sneered.

"Er what?"

"All it would take is for me to kick you right now and we both would be crushed." Neji coughed.

"And are you really willing to sacrifice yourself just so you don't lose?"

"Of course," Neji smirked. "A noble such as myself would die before being defeated by a lowly commoner."

"Well how about a pissed off noble?"

"Huh?" Neji turned to see a fist heading straight towards him. It struck him in his jaw and knocked him out.

"Man I hated that guy," Risa smirked.

"…Nice punch," Naruto closed his eyes. "Jigoku no Ikari!" His fists became encased in his aura as if they were on fire. "APAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA!" He called out as he held the chunk of rock with one hand and via a series of lightning fast jabs reduced it to dust.

"You too," Risa smiled. "So… You won?"

"Technically you did," Naruto walked over to the altar and sat down, Risa shortly joining him.

"What can I say, the guy was a jerk," Risa pulled a face before leaning her head on Naruto's shoulder. "So… about us…"

"Yeah?"

"What are we?"

"…What do you mean?"

"I mean are we in a relationship, because I'm pretty sure I confessed but your reply was a little confusing," Risa chuckled.

"I guess so?" Naruto shrugged. "I mean… I'd have to clear it with Lala and the others but…" He was interrupted by his phone ringing in one of the pockets of his ruined suit, "Hello?"

"She can join!" Lala declared.

"Eh?" Naruto looked around, "Are you spying on me?"

"We are in the ship over the church," Lala laughed, "We saw the whole fight! Momo said she has some fun ideas for that clone technique."

"You are in the ship?"

"It has a Stealth mode!" Lala declared, "It really is quite interesting. There are so many systems that were cannibalised to fix more important ones. I've barely scratched the surface of what this ship can do! It's so exciting!"

"I'm glad you like it," Naruto chuckled, "Is Kushina with you?"

"She passed out with a severe nose bleed when she saw the clone." Lala sounded concerned. "Mikan-chan is patching her up. I think she is hungry because she mentioned something about a sandwich and a spit roast before passing out."

"Lala," Naruto shook his head with a big smile, "Never change."

"Okay!" She happily responded before ending the call.

"So I guess that means we are in a relationship," He jokingly stood up at the altar, "Do you take me in sickness and health."

"I do," Risa laughed, "And do you take me?"

"I do," Naruto chuckled.

"Well it isn't the usual ceremony," The vicar entered the church, "But if it gets you out of my church before completely wrecking it… By the power placed in me yadda yadda you are now husband and wife."

"Eh?!" Naruto blinked stupidly. "That was…"

"We didn't…" Risa started.

"Thank you vicar," Ryoko and Keisuke appeared from the rubble.

"Mother?" Risa blinked.

"You are ever so predictable Naruto," Ryoko smiled.

"Say what?"

"So… we good now?" Keisuke turned to two more people who entered the room.

"Yeah," Hizashi nodded as he collected his son. "Hopefully this will knock the superiority complex out of him. I wasn't expecting this much damage though."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "Could someone explain what the hell is going on here?"

"It's simple," Ryoko smiled. "All I needed was a situation that would force you to act and marry Risa."

"And I wished for my son to be knocked off of his high horse," Hizashi smiled.

"You're telling me that you set this whole thing up?!" Risa blinked, "But what you said… "

"Risa dear, you're my daughter." Ryoko chuckled. "Of course I would prefer for you to marry a noble but it was clear since day one that your heart was set on Naruto here. Even I wouldn't ruin other people's lives for my own needs."

"I beg to differ, you married me and made my life a misery," Kei chuckled before noticing his wife's glare, "It was a joke!"

"But I overhead Dad and Hizashi-san talking about..." She paused. "I was meant to over here wasn't I?"

"Got it in one." Keisuke smiled.

"I… What?" Risa sat down. "That can't be a legal ceremony though!"

"Well the vicar is allowed to marry and we only need two witnesses," Ryoko smiled. "Though I was worried when Keisuke here gave Yui Kotegawa the invitation."

"I knew she'd give it to Naruto," Kei waved his hands dismissively.

"But you all played your parts in the end."

"But what if we hadn't done the whole pretend wedding vow thing?" Naruto challenged.

"I have it on record that you swore to marry three alien princesses to stop someone else marrying them." Ryoko smiled, "I was planning on you doing the same with Risa, but the fact you said your vows without prompting is just the icing on the cake."

"I… I'm married?" Naruto blinked.

"Looks that way," Jiraiya nodded. "The documents are all signed and sealed."

"But I didn't…" Naruto started.

"Nope," Jiraiya grinned, "But seeing as you are the heir of the Namikaze estate, the Namikaze seal can be used instead of your signature and I happen to have it on me."

"You married me off?"

"Of course," Jiraiya smirked. "The combined resources of the Namikaze and the Momioka means only one thing."

"And that is…"

"I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY AND INFLUENCE TO MAKE MY ICHA ICHA SERIES INTO A FILM!"

"All praise Jiraiya-sama!" Keisuke and Hizashi cried out, kneeling before him.

"…" Naruto looked at Risa, "I'm going home."

"Me too…"

"That would be Naruto's place I imagine," Keisuke smiled, "You are husband and wife after all."

* * *

"Or something like that," Naruto chuckled as he finished recalling the day's events.

"I…" Risa glanced at the ring on her finger again. "Are we really married?"

"Jiraiya seems to think so." Naruto chuckled. "I have to admit Lala took it well."

"What do you mean?"

"She wants all my firsts to herself and you technically stole the title of first person to marry me."

"She said that she would forgive me since I didn't take her place as your first Empress," Risa smiled. "She said as long as she is the first to marry you in a Devilukian court that's all that matters to her." She stretched out. "I suppose it's time to retire to bed."

"Right, you've had a busy day," Naruto smiled as he got up to leave.

"Where do you think you are going?" Risa asked.

"Er… I thought you wanted to go to bed?" Naruto paused.

"I did," She was looking at Naruto pointedly.

"Er?" Naruto blinked. "Am I missing something here?"

"For the love of…" The door to Risa's room flung open and an annoyed looking Momo walked in. "How dense can you be?"

"Eh?"

"You are a married couple right?"

"Well yeah."

"And what do married couples do on their first night as a couple?"

"Consummate their... Oh!" Naruto's eyes widened.

"There we go," Momo left the room.

"Do you… you know?" Naruto asked.

"Do I what?" Risa laid back on the bed. "Tell me what you think I want," she whispered softly.

"Er… Well…" Naruto cleared his throat, "Do you want to consummate our marriage?"

"Do you?" Risa smiled coyly at him.

"Well," Naruto fidgeted, "I would like to… that is to say," He smiled weakly, "You are a very attractive woman and a dear person to me so I would… well... Like to consummate our marriage. Although first I need to make sure Momo isn't watching."

"Why?" Risa smiled. "Let her watch if she wants."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"It doesn't matter to me." Risa got off of her bed and sauntered towards Naruto. "Because as of this moment… all of this…" She trailed a finger around his body, lingering around his crotch area before travelling to his lips, "Is all mine. Tomorrow you are community property again but right now you are mine." She licked her lips eagerly. "Do you know how often I have fantasised about this moment?"

"A lot?"

"Oh boy," Risa whispered huskily in his ear. "I've lost count."

"Oh," Naruto cupped her face in his hand and brought her to his lips, kissing her softly. "Well I hope I don't disappoint then."

"Me too," Risa deepened the kiss, her tongue wrestling with Naruto's for control as her hands clawed at the remnants of his suit, desperate to remove the obstacle between her flesh and his.

"Risa," Naruto broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, desire clouding all but his most basic thoughts.

**_'Remember when I had to actually try to get you to act like this?'_ **Asmodea remarked dryly although her remarks were ignored by Naruto.

as with. "Oh yes… that's the spot…" She licked her lips as she felt her orgasm building and increased the pace of her fingers, "NARUTO!" She cried out as she climaxed.

* * *

**_Lemon removed due to complaints. Will be posted on a different site. Sorry _**

"Nee-chan?!" Nana raced into the room and froze as she saw her sister lying half naked. "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like," Momo scowled as she finished pleasuring herself. "I was releasing my built up sexual frustration."

"Oh…" Nana looked away awkwardly.

"I mean would you look at him go?" Momo gestured the screen showing Naruto and Risa.

"Look at who?" Nana squinted then went bright red. "Gargh!" She went bright red, "We shouldn't be watching this!"

"You are free to leave," Momo informed her. "Isn't that right Kushina?" She glanced to the prone floor of Kushina Uzumaki, who appeared to be drowning in her own nose bleed. "I probably should do something about that."

Nana opened her mouth but couldn't find the words to say. It looked so… so… obscene! As Nana left her twin alone, she tried to ignore the strange tingling in her crotch. She wouldn't succumb to her baser desires like Momo. She was in control of her body. She bit her lip remembering the glistening sweat on the naked Naruto before shaking her head. She wasn't a pervert like that beast! And a beast he was judging from the video… He had impressive stamina. It must be pretty good to have sex with him judging by Risa's moans and Lala's recommendation. Maybe she might have to try him herself just to see if he was really all that. Nana realised what she had just been thinking and froze.

"I'm not a pervert!" Nana cried out before running down the hallway.

"I wonder what that was about." Mikan paused in making the family meal to glance at Yami who was helping her.

"Oni-sama's being ecchi," She paused, "The good kind."

"There's a good kind?" Mikan blinked.

"It's where you put your penis into a vagina," Yami stated bluntly earning an outraged exclamation from Yui and a furious blush from Mikan.

"A young girl shouldn't talk about such things!" Yui chastised Yami gently.

"Young?" Yami seemed annoyed but didn't comment further.

"Aren't you upset?" Mikan asked. "I mean you are dating him right?"

"I…" Yui closed her eyes. "I don't like it but… this is how it is." She smiled softly. "I love Naruto and… one day maybe…"

"Maybe you'll be having sex with him?" Lala joined them. "Just ask him!"

"B-but…" Yui blushed. "To do something so shameless."

"Muuu…" Lala pouted. "There is nothing shameless about love!"

"Why are you so insistent on this?" Mikan asked.

"Well…" Lala smiled softly. "As a male devilukian Naruto will have a higher than average sex drive and males need constant release lest they go… a little weird. If everyone is more open about sex then Naruto won't view it as a bad thing to have plenty of it. Fortunately he is still mostly human but one of these days that will change and when that happens." Lala frowned slightly. "I only hope that he has found peace with himself rather than continuing to fight it."

"What happens if he hasn't?"

"The more he tries to deny his heritage the more it will fight back until it consumes him and all that is left is a creature fuelled by lust and rage." Lala stated. "There are tales of Delta Class Berserkers who have maintained control of themselves by being at peace with themselves. If Naruto can't achieve this then he will become a monster and… I would have to kill him as it is my fault that Naruto was exposed to these dangers that made him awaken as a devilukian."

"What?!"

"THat was the agreement I made with Papa. The only condition for me being with Naruto...But he wouldn't die alone." Lala whispered. "Because in a world without him. I would have no interest in living."

"Lala…" Yui bit her lip and hugged the alien. "It won't come to that."

"I know," Lala returned the hug. "But it feels good to get my worries of my chest."

"JIRAIYA YOU LECHEROUS BASTARD!"

"AHAHAHA THAT'S MY BOY! DO PAGE SEVENTY THREE!"

"GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!"

"…Looks like Naruto caught Jiraiya peaking on him and Risa," Lala smiled widely.

"We'd best stop Naruto from killing him," Yui smiled evilly, "I can't teach him the error of his ways if he is dead."

* * *

Kabuto smiled as he walked around the ruined church a small circular drone hovering around him and scanning the area.

"DNA STRAIN MIXTURE OF DEVILUKIAN AND HUMAN," The drone reported as it scanned a bloody smear on the floor.

"Really Naruto-kun," Kabuto smirked. "You are making this far too easy for me," He took a sample of Naruto's blood. "And it all falls into place. Soon my beloved harbinger of Death… You will be released from your confinement and free to spread death throughout the galaxy my love." He pocketed the sample and left the church, chuckling to himself.

* * *

Attacks

**Attack Name:** Akuma Bunshin

**Power Level:** 100

**Alignment:** Damus Only – Advanced Construct

**Translation:** Devil Clone

**Description**

Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and forms it into a clone. As it is formed from Damus energy it appears devilukian in appearance. As it is composed of Damus energy it will violently explode on impact with Arcangus energy. This clone can only use Naruto's Damus abilities and can only take a single hard hit before dispelling however any remaining energy returns to Naruto along with its memories. As it is a contruct of energy it has no limitations on how much energy it can use at once and has a greater Power Level than Naruto although is admittedly much more fragile and will disperse after using up all of its energy. As it consists of the same energy Naruto uses, it can merge its attacks with Naruto's to create more powerful versions.

**Attack Name:** Chorus Angelicus

**Power Level:** 120

**Alignment:** Arcangus Only- Intermediate Energy Attack

**Translation**: Angelic Chorus

**Description**

By drawing in background energy of Earth, an Arcangus user can release a greatly enhanced attack. It has a much faster use time than Akuma Yari but cannot be charged beyond its base power level. It can be maintained indefinitely as the energy is supplied by the environment rather than the user.

* * *

Power Level

Akuma Naruto Bunshin - 35 (70 with Shoten active. The clone cannot use Jigoku no Ikari)  
Neji (Josephine Crest) - 60

* * *

**LEMON STARTS HERE. THERE IS NOTHING BUT LEMONS BELOW HERE. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE OR DO NOT WANT TO READ THE LEMON. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE BELOW THIS LINE**

* * *

"Naruto…" Risa whispered as she grabbed his collar and pulled him back in for another kiss.

Naruto's hands roamed Risa's body, stroking her back softly then making their way to her rear which he squeezed earning a moan of approval. Whilst one hand continued his massaging of her rear, the other one travelled to the back of her neck where the zip for the dress was. "Mind if I get you out of that?"

"Feel free," Risa mumbled into his ear.

Naruto nibbled her ear as he slowly pulled the zip down, the dress falling from her shoulders and he stepped away to take in her figure. She was wearing sexy white bra that was almost see through and a matching set of panties as well as stockings that earned an appreciative whistle from Naruto as she slowly pirouetted in front of him.

"How do I attract girls as sexy as you?" Naruto smiled.

"I have a few ideas," Risa stuck her tongue out, "But I think its time we removed that suit of yours." She grabbed the jacket and ripped what little material left of it from his back, tossing it aside before pulling open his shirt and trailing a finger along his abs. "Risa likes." She started placing soft kisses on his bare stomach. "Risa likes a lot." She made her way north, her hands slowly gliding over his naked chest as if trying to commit it to memory. "If this is a dream I pray I never wake up."

"If this is a dream…" Naruto placed his hands on her hips. "I'll have to make it reality in the morning." He kissed her deeply and the pair fell on the bed, Naruto on top of her his hands exploring her body earning an erotic chorus of moans from the girl. His hands travelled to the bra strap and deftly removed the article of clothing before casting it aside.

"You're awfully skilled at that." Risa remarked.

"Would you believe Lala had me do a training course on Bra removal?" Naruto slowly started to massage Risa's pert breasts, teasing her nipples and nibbling her neck.

"Are… are they alright?" Risa asked worriedly.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"I know my breasts aren't as big as Lala's…" She was silenced by a deep kiss.

"I don't care," He whispered huskily in her ear. "Risa-chan is Risa-chan and right now I want you more than anything in the world."

"Naruto," Risa smiled. "I want you too." She grabbed Naruto's trousers and started to lower them until they were both clad only in their panties/boxers. She hugged Naruto, her naked breasts against his chest panting slightly with desire. "I want you so much…" She moaned as she guided his hand down to her soaking panties.

"My, my," Naruto smiled as his hand slipped into her panties and traced her womanhood. "Someone is eager."

"And I'm not the only one," Risa smiled as she started to massage Naruto's engorged member above his boxer shorts. "I can feel it throbbing… Does it hurt?"

"It's more of an ache," Naruto smiled, "An ache to spill my love deep inside you."

"Won't I get pregnant?" Risa asked.

"Not at the moment," He reassured her, "I've kind of got a contraceptive seal on my body."

"So we can get wet and wild and not have to worry?" She licked her lips. "Risa really likes. But that's the finale and we have a whole show to get through first."

"Oh?" Naruto slipped a finger inside her inner walls causing Risa to gasp at the sudden intrusion. "I do hope I put on a satisfactory performance."

"I…" Risa gasped as Naruto's finger explored her sacred area, "Naruto…" She gasped. "I… feel strange…"

"A good strange?"

"A very good strange," Risa nodded.

"Good," Naruto slipped a second finger into the tight walls of Risa continuing probing her virgin flesh. "You are so warm in there." He increased his speed resulting in a soft whine from Risa who started bucking in time to his ministrations.

"Gah…" She panted as Naruto attacked her bouncy breasts with his mouth, nibbling her nipple and squeezing her rear with his free hand. "~Ruto!" She moaned in ecstasy as Naruto quickened his pace, probing deeper inside her with his finger and alternating between teasing her breasts and rear with his free hand. "I'm… I'm… coming!" She cried out as her walls tightened around Naruto's fingers and her love juice coating his hand.

"Delicious," Naruto licked his hand clean and stood back to take in his handiwork.

Her panties were well and truly soaked now and had gone completely transparent. Her face was flushed and her eyes were clouded with lust as she panted, her chest rising and falling with the deep breaths she was taking.

"How sexy is it possible for one person to look," Naruto's erection threatened to burst from his boxers at this point.

"My… turn…" Risa managed to regain control of her body and rolled Naruto over, removing his boxers and staring at his meat rod. "This… is going to go inside of me?" She looked slightly worried.

"Don't worry," Naruto reassured her, "I won't do anything that would hurt you."

"I know," Risa started to slowly stimulate Naruto's member. "Is this right?"

"You're doing fine," Naruto moaned softly.

Spurred on by Naruto's moans she started to use her tongue, marvelling at the strange taste of Naruto's manhood. Running her tongue up and down his length, she took in his scent and allowed it to fill her head like a drug, drowning out her inhibitions in the promises of pleasure. Using her tongue she peeled back his foreskin and licked at his head, Naruto's musky scent filling her nose and his unique flavour tingling her taste buds.

"Gargh," Naruto groaned with the effort of staving off his release. "You are really good at this," He gasped out.

"Hehehe…" Risa smiled. "It looks like I have you right where I want you," She smiled.

"Oh really?" Naruto stared at the soaked panties above his head. "We'll see about that!" He pulled off her underwear revealing her moist garden.

"D-don't stare!" Risa squeaked.

"It's beautiful," Naruto teased her clit with his tongue.

"God!" Risa moaned in delight before taking more of Naruto's length in her mouth, speeding up her motions in order to bring Naruto to his climax.

"Mmph!" Naruto moaned into her core as he plundered her sacred valley with his tongue. Her sweet nectar was drowning any self-control that he might have left as his tongue mapped out her inner walls, searching for a weak spot determined to bring Risa to climax once again.

"Naruto!" She cried out as she bucked her hips on his face before taking as much of Naruto as she could into her mouth, feeling his member spasm as he finally succumbed to her efforts as she succumbed to his. She felt his seed fill her mouth with a tangy salty flavour, eagerly gulping down his love as it were an elixir of life to a dying man whilst Naruto greedily drank her own sweet release. "I think… that's enough… foreplay…" Risa panted heavily and adjusted her position over Naruto's erect sword, rubbing her crotch against his tool, moaning as he grabbed her rear and grinded against her. "Please… let me… have you…"

"I'm all yours." Naruto smiled as she kneeled over his member, lining herself up.

"I've heard this hurts," She bit her lip.

"You don't have to…" Before Naruto could continue she had plunged herself onto his sword, penetrating her virginity and continuing deep into her core.

"Gargh," Risa winced as she sacrificed her maidenhead.

"Risa…" Naruto's hands supported her hips as she struggled to shake off the pain, "You don't have to force yourself."

"No…" Risa shook her head, "I'm not forcing myself to do anything." She started to slowly rise. "I want to do this."

Naruto was lost for words as Risa lifted herself off of him, clearing revealing his masculinity slowly emerging from her womanhood, tainted by the blood of her virginity, before she lowered herself with a sudden lurch and a satisfying slapping noise and Naruto found himself deep inside her, her inner caverns smothering his soldier, trying to milk him of his seed. Again she slowly rose only to drop back down on him, the slapping noise of their bodies colliding making an obscenely erotic rhythm as Risa slowly increased the speed of her actions.

"I'm sorry," Naruto growled as he gripped her hips and began to thrust inside of her, the wet noises of their sex growing louder and more frenzied as Naruto flipped her over until he was on his knees with Risa laid before him, her legs spread and his member thrusting deep inside her.

"Aaah!" Risa cried out in ecstasy as Naruto plundered her depths, his penis probing the entrance of her womb and stretching her out, shaping her inner body for his use. With each thrust Risa found the pain fading away and the pleasure building. She wrapped her legs around him and regained the high ground, bouncily away on his chest whilst playing with her breasts. "This…is…so…much…better…than…I…Imagined!" Risa groaned between her bounces as she rode Naruto.

"Risa!" Naruto groaned as he increased his speed to an impossible pace. "I love you!"

"I love you too!" Risa cried out happily. "I'm… almost there!"

"Me too!" Naruto looked her deep in the eyes, "Let's come together!"

"Yes!" Risa cried out as he held her waist as if it were a life saver and thrust so deep into her she was sure he had penetrated her womb. Her vision went white as her whole body seemed to erupt in a orgasm she had never even gotten close to bringing herself to. Her mind went blank and her tongue lolled out as she revelled in the otherworldly sensations and the intense heat that flooded her womb as Naruto released a torrent of his sperm inside her. "Gah…" She forced out.

"Risa…" Naruto growled lustfully as he pulled out of her, their combined juices leaking from her lower lips. "Roll over…"

"Hai…" Risa gasped as she rolled over and got on all fours as Naruto lined himself up with her glistening sex. "Please… do me hard…"

"With pleasure," Naruto thrust into her again, his earlier release doing nothing to soften his sword. Gripping her rear tightly he continued his furious assault, marvelling as her inner walls did their best to coax him of his seed.

"I've been a bad girl!" Risa moaned. "I've touched myself so many times thinking of you!"

"Well bad girl's need punishing!" Naruto slapped her rear causing a cry of pleasure from Risa.

"More!" She cried out.

"You are a freak aren't you?" Naruto smirked. "Well I think that warrants more punishment no?" He squeezed her firm bottom before giving her another slap resulting in an orgasmic gasp.

"I'm your freak," Risa cried out, lost in the highs of another world shaking orgasm.

"Yes… you are all mine!" Naruto gripped her hips and pulled her towards him as hard as he could whilst thrusting forward. His tip kissing her womb entrance before unleashing his love into her core.

"Gargh…" Risa gasped as Naruto continued to empty himself inside her.

"Risa…" He groaned as she clamped on his dick with her inner walls, milking him for every last drop.

"~Ruto." She gasped as the two fell on the bed. She could feel Naruto softening member inside of her. "I'm going to be pregnant."

"Maybe," Naruto smiled as he wrapped his arms around Risa holding her tightly against his body.

"And if not…" Risa smirked at him, "The night is young." She kissed him deeply and rekindled Excalibur with a few whispered words in Naruto's ear. "And there are so many positions I want to try out."

"You sure you don't need a rest?"

"Nope." Risa stood up before Naruto, her figure bathed in the pale moonlight. Her lower garden was leaking his precious seed and the stains of her lost innocence marked her legs. But even so in that moonlight, she looked pure and unsullied. She looked perfect. He got off of the bed and walked towards her.

"Fine then," He ran a hand through her hair while the other hand rubbed Excalibur against her womanhood. "But don't blame me if you're sore in the morning."

"I'll blame you if I'm not," Risa gasped as he entered her again, pushing her against the wall and thrusting inside her. The sounds of their sex echoed through the room as they continued their lovemaking, her nails scratching his back as their tongues duelled and they continued satisfying their carnal desires.

* * *

"Er… Wow…" Momo blinked as she watched on a screen. "That is… I don't even know what that position is." She rubbed her thighs together and bit her lip. "I… I wonder if Naruto would try that with me?" Her hand slipped beneath her drenched panties and she began to tease her depths moaning softly and imagining it was her that Naruto w


	18. Chapter 18: Time Tragedy

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello Everybody. This was originally going to be two chapters but due to me being stuck working in an area in Scotland where the internet has yet to reach (At least on my network) I ended up just completing all of Kushina's storyline in this one chapter. It is officially the largest chapter I have ever written. 57 Pages and 24K+ words.

There is a glossary at the very end of this chapter with some of the background information on the Universe when the Arcangus and Damus were around. It isn't needed to understand the story and is purely a little bonus as an apology for how long this chapter took.

To answer a few questions, 'Through his Eyes' was a challenge I wrote. I may possibly turn it into a full story once this and Ninja Pirate are finished but I wouldn't hold your breath on that.

I was thinking of creating a 'story' that basically contained several challenges like that with me writing the first chapter and writing down my plans for the story. I already have a good idea on a Highschool DxD crossover and of course there are the think tank stories but I'll have to double check what FFs policies are on that. Since they are technically stories I think I can do it but that's not going to be for a few weeks anyway if I do decided to do that.

Devilukean Edition will be updated irregularly. The next chapter is almost done but I'm not quite happy with it right now. I keep changing my mind on where this story is going so we shall see what happens there.

Lemons have been added to the very bottom of the chapters that they are in to avoid any unintentional reading of them. Simply press Ctrl-F (On most Windows browsers anyway) and type 'Lemon Starts here' to go straight to the lemon.

Also: 200K Words! Thanks to everyone who leaves a review. It is you guys that motivated me to continue this story. I hope you'll continue to leave reviews and help me make this the story you want to read.

Anyway that's it for now. Hope you all enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Naruto or To Love Ruto or Rise Against.

* * *

**Chapter 18: Time + Tragedy**

''_And sometimes you have to go back  
to know just where you've been'  
-Rise against, Tragedy + Time  
_

* * *

Mikan yawned sleepily as she wandered into the kitchen. It was early in the morning and she had to start preparing the meals for everyone. While Naruto was perfectly content just to let them stay whilst their house was rebuilt, Mikan didn't want to be a nuisance and decided that the least she could do was make breakfast and help with the chores, even if Lala had quite a few robots designed to clean the house (when they weren't malfunctioning).

She stumbled into the kitchen and froze as she saw one of Lala's aforementioned inventions. It was a floating sphere made of silver that had a single red eye that turned to face her as she entered the kitchen.

"Er… Hello?" Mikan replied hesitantly.

"SCANNING." The red eye emitted several beams that scanned Mikan completely. "UNKNOWN TARGET."

"I'm Mikan Yuuki," Mikan explained, "I was added to the security system by Lala."

"…NO YOU WEREN'T."

"Yes I was." Mikan rubbed her forehead.

"…ENGAGING HOSTILE TARGET!" The sphere fired a series of metal wires that bound of Mikan in an erotic manner.

"What?" Mikan tried to struggle free but the metal wires dug into her skin.

"…PROBING TARGET FOR INFORMATION."

"W-what?" Mikan squeaked as several tentacles started to emerge from the sphere.

"PREPARE FOR PROBING!"

"Stop foul creature!"

"PARDON?"

"Naruto!" Mikan beamed as she turned to face the familiar before freezing, "Naruto?"

"Yes fair maiden?" Naruto's hair usually short and wild hair was now straight and fell to his shoulders. His eyes seemed to be glowing slightly and he exuded an aura of peace and calm.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"UNKNOWN ENTITY… ENGAGING!" The tentacles shot towards Naruto.

"Akuma Yari!" A red blast of energy came out of nowhere and struck the robot completely destroying it.

"Naruto?!" Mikan blinked as she saw the second Naruto.

"What's up sweet cheeks," This Naruto had wilder hair, red slitted eyes and an arrowhead devilukian tail swinging lazily behind him. "How about a reward for your saviour?"

"You uncouth beast," The first Naruto frowned. "Saving those who need it is their own reward."

"Doesn't mean that I can't get a reward," The second Naruto smirked.

"Oh… there you two are." A third Naruto walked in. This one looked normal.

"Er…" Mikan smiled as this third Naruto freed her from her bonds. "Thank you."

"No worries," Naruto smiled weakly. "I see you've met Tenshi and Akuma."

"Who?"

"I was experimenting with my clone ability. Apparently using Damus energy creates an Akuma clone. They look devilukian and tend to be more violent and their personalities are similar to mine but… more forward. "

"You know you love me," The devilukian Naruto winked.

"If I use my Arcangus energy I create a Tenshi clone. They tend to be more chivalrous and speak kind of weird at times." Naruto frowned.

"Thou knoweth not what thoust sayeth!"

"See what I mean," Naruto sighed.

"Oh so one is an angelic you and the other is a devilish you?" Mikan tilted her head.

"Something like that yes," Naruto nodded. "Just make sure they don't touch each other. Since they are made of opposing energy when they touch they detonate quite spectacularly. What are you doing up this early anyway?"

"I could ask you the same question," Mikan crossed her arms. "You were hurt last night! You should be in bed resting."

"I heal fast," Naruto replied dismissively. "Ouch!" He rubbed his head.

"Bed now!" Mikan waved a ladle aggressively.

"I'm fine." Naruto smiled reassuringly.

"Please…. For me?"

"Gargh…" Naruto recoiled from her puppy dog eyes. "Why'd you have to be so cute?" He grumbled as he climbed upstairs.

"Cute huh," Mikan glanced at her reflection in the ladle. "I suppose I should be happy that he notices me… even if it is just as cute."

"You say something?" Akuma glanced at the youngest Yuuki child.

"Ah!" Mikan jumped and turned to face the two clones. "Ah it's nothing." She laughed weakly.

* * *

Naruto paused on his way to the bedroom when he noticed a noise coming from one of the many rooms in the house.

"Hello?" Naruto opened the door and paused as he saw Lala hard at work. She was wearing a lab coat and was staring intently at what looked like a clock too engrossed in her work to even realise that Naruto was stood watching her with a smile.

It was too easy to forget that Lala was a genius given her happy go lucky personality but right now it was quite clear. She was focused purely on whatever the strange device she was building surrounded by a large variety of tools, strange looking mechanical parts and complicated looking schematics as she continued tinkering, completely oblivious to Naruto's presence.

"Maybe the parallel capacitors aren't right…" She muttered and expertly dismantled the item before taking a part out and throwing it to the side before picking up another piece from the pile of parts and quickly re-assembling the device. "No… still not good." She sighed heavily.

"Maybe you need a break?" Naruto suggested.

"Naruto?" Lala turned to face Naruto. Her face had grease and dirt stains and her eyes were bloodshot. Underneath the lab coat she was wearing nothing but a few more oily stains.

"You look like you need a rest," Naruto sat down next to Lala and looked at the strange device she was building. "What's that?"

"At the moment," Lala leaned into to Naruto with a sigh, "It's a piece of junk."

"And what is it supposed to be?" Naruto wrapped his arm around her and hugged her close to him.

"A time machine," Lala admitted.

"Why would you want to build one of those?" Naruto asked.

"So you could save your father." Lala looked sheepish.

"Huh?"

"Well…" Lala twiddled her fingers. "Yui-chan mentioned once that you were worried you were losing all your links to your father… You really miss him."

"I…" Naruto closed his eyes. "I do but still… you do realise that if my father never died, I would never have moved here and you and me would never meet."

"I'm sure we would," Lala looked pumped up. "After all, the bonds that bind us surpass space and time!"

"Yeah they do," Naruto kissed Lala gently. "I love you Lala."

"And I love you," Lala smiled as she rubbed her nose against Naruto's. "And I think I heard Risa-chan emphatically tell you that she loved you."

"Gah!" Naruto went crimson, "You heard that?"

"Momo had her drones watching you," Lala laughed lightly.

"Figures," Naruto groaned. "I am going to have a word with her about personal boundaries."

"Heh," Lala smiled beautifully, "Momo said you'd say that. She also told me you promised her a date soon."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto mumbled as Lala started to nibble on his ear. "You're affectionate this morning."

"I'm always affectionate," Lala pouted cutely.

"I know," He smiled before nodding at the device. "What's the problem with that thing then?"

"Well," Lala's eyes sparkled, "The trans-dimensional stabilisation protocol isn't correctly aligning with the spatial-dispersion protocol without causing a critical failure in the temporal adjustment protocol and then there's the problem with…"

"Okay, okay." Naruto chuckled, "In simple terms?"

"That design requires an energy source beyond that of a Damus aura," Lala simplified. "Using Damus energy means that there isn't enough energy for the system so the programs all fight over the energy which causes the device to fail. No matter what parts I use or what kind of energy storage I devise, the device just will not work."

"How about if I added my Damus energy?"

"That wouldn't work," Lala smiled. "Theoretically the device requires a power level of 300 to work but even then the system seems to fail. It needs a more compressed power source."

"How about if I used Shoten?"

"Shoten?" Lala blinked. "That's when you aura shrinks but gets super bright right?"

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled as she ran a hand through Lala's hair absentmindedly. "I basically compress my energy to allow me to use more of it at once. Admittedly compressing my energy damages me slightly but if it's just a short burst I should be fine."

"Really?" Lala blinked. "That amazing!"

"Ah," Naruto laughed weakly. "That's nothing compared to what you can do."

"Maybe your compressed energy could work!" Lala grabbed Naruto's hand with a cheer.

"You think so?" Naruto tilted his head.

"I'm positive!" Lala beamed and handed him the device. "Just activate your ability and force your energy into it like you were charging an attack!"

"Well…" Naruto glanced at what looked like an ordinary alarm clock. "If you insist." He closed his eyes and felt the familiar heat spread through his body as if he had just dropped into a hot bath. He could smell the grease and oil in the air. The familiar scent of Lala calmed him slightly. "Shoten!" Naruto roared.

"Ooh!" Lala clapped. "This is the first time I've actually witnessed this up." She pulled out a clipboard. "Hmm… I'd say that is around 50 times human." She clapped. "At this level you are practically a devilukean!"

"Er thanks?" Naruto grimaced as he tried to force his energy into the device. "It seems to be fighting against me."

"As I thought," Lala sighed sadly. "The energy source in the battery won't accept Damus energy."

"How about Arcangus?" Naruto asked.

"That's…" Lala looked thoughtful, "It's worth a shot I guess."

Naruto took a deep breath and released his aura. Lala shivered as she felt the wave of his released energy travel over her. It was primal and full of a burning desire.

'_**The hell is Asmodea doing?' **_

'_Satalin?' _Lala blinked. Unlike Asmodea and Naruto, Satalin and Lala didn't talk much. Lala was not a combat type and Satalin was not a scientist so they didn't have much to talk about. However when Satalin felt the need to speak, Lala made sure to pay attention.

'_**That idiot.' **_If Asmodea's voice sounded like silk, Satalin's was intense like a blazing inferno, _**'She's about as subtle as throwing someone into the sun.' **_

'_What do you mean?' _

'_**Feh, Figure it out yourself.'**_Satalin scoffed.

'_If Naruto is in danger you will tell me,' _Lala warned.

'_**Or what?' **_

'_Or I'll go in there and make you tell me.' _

'_**Oh?' **_Satalin sounded amused, _**'So the princess has found something to fight for and a seed at that.' **_

'_Seed? What are you talking about?' _

'_**Oh how little you know. You think the devilukians are the top of the food chain? There are things out there that would eat your entire race as breakfast. Fortunately my sisters and I in our role as your gracious guardians killed off most of them. Ah I remember fighting the Leviathanos with Lucione and Abados… Those were fun times.' **_

'_Back to the seed thing?'_

'_**Huh? Oh that.' **__Satalin sounded embarrassed. '__**He is similar to the Seed that we used to defeat the Great Destroyer.'**_

'_Great Destroyer?' _

'_**The… abomination that is the reason the Arcangus and Damus are little more than voices in your head. Little pockets of power that are mere fragments of the power they once commanded.' **_Satalin sounded maudlin. _**'The being that was meant to end all wars…' **_

'_And what is Asmodea doing to Naruto?'_

'_**I just told you that an ancient evil is stirring and you are more worried about the blonde seed?' **_

'_I don't care about this ancient evil,' _Lala smiled to herself. _'Papa and Naruto will kick its ass and with me, Momo and Nana helping them it will be a piece of cake.' _

'_**Bwahahaha! You… That's… Bwahahaha! That's a good one. Ah… Anyway. Using that Shoten or whatever the seed calls it should be tearing apart Naruto every time he uses it. Asmodea is repairing the damage but she is changing him rather than just fixing him. While it has little effect at the moment, should he ever become a true half-devilukian his inner energy generation will be far superior to a normal devilukian and his muscles will be far stronger yet his speed will also be increased. A kind of Elite Devilukean as it were despite only being a mongrel." **_

'_Really?' _Lala smiled. If Naruto truly became that strong then no-one could ever beat him and she would never have to worry about a suitor defeating. She turned her attention to Naruto, smiling as she imagined a world where she didn't have to worry about someone hurting Naruto, where they were free to live together without any interference.

"Right," Naruto stretched out, a faint blue glow surrounding him. Four orbs floated around him like fat fireflies. "Huh… That's increased." He mused as he counted the glowing spheres. "Shoten!" He yelled causing two of the orbs to merge with him, his aura shrunk and turned a darker shade of blue. "Now let's try this." He tried to channel his aura into the device. "It doesn't seem to like this…. Oh crap!" Naruto was thrown backwards by an explosive blast.

"Naruto!" Lala ran over to him as he rubbed his head.

"It didn't like that." Naruto laughed weakly as Lala helped him stand.

"I'm sorry," Lala hugged him. "I didn't think that the core would react like that. It wasn't accepting Damus energy so I didn't expect it to have a reaction to Arcangus energy."

"It's not your fault," He returned the hug. "I'll give it one more shot." He grinned.

"Just wait a second," Lala kissed him softly, "I'll go get breakfast and we'll try again."

"Sure thing," Naruto returned the kiss and watched her go. _'She's swaying her hips on purpose isn't she?'_

'_**Looks that way. She is acting a little more sexually charged than usual, maybe Momo has had words with her?'**_

'_Maybe,' _Naruto shrugged and returned his attention to the clock. '_I'm sure if somethings wrong Lala will tell me.' _

* * *

"Good morning," Tenshi greeted the girls as the entered the kitchen with a polite bow.

"Mikan…." Momo blinked, "What have you done to Naruto?"

"My exact words," Rito chuckled as he finished his breakfast.

"Oh this?" Mikan smiled, "This is a… I think Naruto called it a Tenshi Clone."

"I am a clone composed of Arcangus energy." Tenshi bowed.

"Don't forget about me!" Akuma ran into the room. "The superior clone!"

"As if," Tenshi scowled. "You know I am the greater clone."

"You starting a fight!" Akuma grinned.

Any fight was interrupted by Risa limping into the room.

"Well look who's decided to join us," Momo smirked. "Feeling a little sore?"

"I regret nothing." Risa groaned as she settled down.

Mikan looked torn before deciding to give Risa a small serving of breakfast. "What's it like?"

"Words fail me," Risa sighed. "It hurt at first but once we found our rhythm…"

"I don't want to hear this!" Nana covered her ears, making sure that she didn't actually block them so she could still listen.

"I meant marrying Naruto," Mikan blushed crimson.

"Oh that?" Risa looked at the ring on her finger. "I don't really believe it happened… I mean… My parents…" She sighed. "I never even suspected that they were planning something like that."

"I'm jealous," Momo sighed. "And I'm surprised that Lala doesn't seem to mind." She leaned forward and started eating. Apparently Mikan was more annoyed with Risa as today she had a full sized serving.

"Ane-ue has been working hard in the lab though," Nana pointed out. "Maybe she is trying to distract herself from being beaten to one of Naruto's firsts."

"Oh…" Risa felt guilty.

"Relax," Momo smiled at Risa, "It isn't as if you planned for this to happen, right?" Momo's smile became sinister.

"Right," Risa shivered. "I didn't know anything."

"Good," The menacing aura vanished, "That doesn't mean I forgive your parents though. The Harem is a fragile ecology. It takes so much care and planning from Lala and myself. Anyone who messes with the plan is my enemy."

"Please don't kill my parents… Or at least not my dad."

"I'll overlook it just this once," Momo frowned, "At least if Onee-sama agrees. It's not as if your marriage really counts."

"What?" Risa blinked.

"From a galactic viewpoint only the official Devilukian ceremony counts." Momo shrugged. "You may be his Earth Bride but that doesn't really change anything." Momo fixed Risa with a stare. "There is a hierarchy in the harem. Lala is the Queen Bee, the Big Boss, whatever you want to call her. When Naruto becomes emperor, she shall be his empress."

"R-right," Risa was a little intimidated by Momo's stare.

"Next is me and Nana."

"Ahem," Kushina cleared her throat.

"Oh yeah, and her." Momo jerked her head at Kushina.

"I feel loved," Kushina deadpanned. "Oh Naruto~ Shina needs a hug!" She called out at the top of her voice.

"Oh I could do a lot more than hug you," Akuma grinned.

"Meh," Kushina frowned. "I want the real thing not some cheap clone."

"Argh…" Akuma staggered backwards.

"Truly your beauty is only matched by your insight," Tenshi bowed to Kushina.

"Same goes for you," Kushina narrowed her eyes.

"Hah! Shot down." Akuma laughed.

"What are you so proud about?" Tenshi narrowed his eyes. "She rejected your lecherous claim."

"Yeah but she hesitated before turning me down."

"Behave yourselves," Mikan smacked the clones over the head with a wooden cooking spoon in one hand and a ladle in the other.

The two clones looked surprised before disappearing in a crackle of blue/red energy and turning into small spheres that suddenly raced towards Naruto.

"Not good!" Momo tried to intercept them with no success.

"Did… Did I do something wrong?" Mikan looked worried.

"Those two orbs are both heading to Naruto," Momo explained, "They contain both Damus and Arcangus energy. That might not mean much to you humans but basically the two react explosively together and they are both going to try and merge with Naruto."

"No…" Mikan's eyes widened.

"Onee-sama is in the lab with him. She should be able to stop the Damus energy."

"Stop the Damus energy doing what?" Lala walked into the kitchen.

"…Oh crap." Momo whimpered and ran with tears in her eyes. "Don't you dare die Naruto!" She ran into the room where Naruto had been stood and fell to her knees. "No… Please no…"

"I…" Mikan felt tears in her eyes as she saw the smouldering crater in the middle of the room. "I did this?"

"Did what?" Lala noticed the damage. "Oh no…" She looked worried. "I never told Naruto how to work the time machine. How will he make his way back?"

"Time machine?" The girls all stared at Lala.

"Are you telling me that you have sent my boy toy through time and space and there is a very real chance that he won't be able to make his way back?" Kushina cracked her knuckles.

"He'll get back eventually," Lala replied weakly.

"…You are so lucky I love you Onee-sama," Momo stated. "Because I have thought of at least twenty ways to kill you and make it look like an accident."

"Ahahaha," Lala rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

* * *

"Wake up!" There was a slap and Naruto blinked stupidly.

"I… what?" His voice didn't sound like his own. He appeared to be in a deep forest.

"Get up Vessel."

"Vessel?" Naruto groggily took in his surroundings. He was surrounded by devilukians. His body seemed to be moving without his consent. "That would be me right?"

"Damn, you must have hit your head harder than I thought," A devilukian who looked a lot like a tall Gid laughed. "Come on Vessel. We've been shot down a fair distance from our drop off point. If we are going to end this war we'll need to move quickly."

"Hagoromo," A voice Naruto realised was his own spoke out. "My name is…"

"Yeah, yeah," The Gid lookalike cut him off. "The great ones actually named you," He frowned. "Personally I like my name. Number 42. It's short and to the point."

"42." Naruto's voice sounded amused.

"Well that's enough bonding," 42 smirked. "The Great ones aren't going to be pleased if we are late." He turned to the rest of the Devilukians. "Alright cannon fodder. We were tasked with escorting Vessel here to the Ritual Site where the Great Destroyer is to be defeated. Remember if he dies we might as well pull down our pants and grease up because the Great Destroyer is going to fuck us up. You hear me?"

There was a roar of approval from the devilukians.

"Good!" 42 nodded. "Let's send this bitch to hell!"

"Hell Yeah!" The devilukians cheered. "Let's do this!"

"Right then," 42 turned to Naruto, "Ready to win a war Vessel?"

"It's what I was built for."

"That's the spirit!" 42 laughed.

"Incoming!" A glowing sphere of white light struck the area nearby sending Naruto and the devilukians hurtling through the air.

* * *

"Argh!" Naruto shot up panting. He checked his hands and legs. "That… was that a dream?"

"Oh!" A familiar voice chuckled. "Sleeping beauty has awoken!"

Naruto turned to see the cheerful face of Mikado (that usually came before she embarrassed him) staring at him. "Er… Hi."

"Hi there," Mikado glanced at a clipboard, "I have to admit I wasn't expecting a customer this quickly."

"Huh?"

"My first day," Mikado jerked her head to the door which read Mikado Ryouko, Private Doctor. "So… Care to explain why you were naked in the middle of the street?"

"Er…" Naruto frowned, "What happened at the school?"

"School?"

"You know, Sainan High?"

"Nothing happened," Mikado raised an eyebrow. "The school is still there."

"But why aren't you?"

"Oh I see," Mikado laughed. "Trying to say I look young? I'll admit that is a novel chat up line," She smiled, "And after seeing all you have to offer I have to say I'm feeling generous." She crawled up the bed, Naruto finding it very difficult to focus on her face and not her cleavage. "I wouldn't mind being paid for my services in a more… physical manner."

"Mikado-sensei," Naruto blinked, "Don't you recognise me?"

She froze mid-crawl. "Should I?"

"I'm a student at Sainan High," Naruto frowned, "Naruto?"

"I've never been to the place," Mikado put her hand on his forehead. "Maybe you have a fever? You were lying naked in the middle of the floor. All you had was that clock," She jerked her head at the time machine. "Not to mention you didn't blush at all when I did that crawling thing." She pouted. "I had hoped you would be fun to mess with."

"Oh gods… It worked," Naruto blinked. "It actually worked!"

"What did?" Mikado tilted her head.

"I went back in time!" He grinned. "Now… if only I knew how I did it."

"Okay…" Mikado crossed her arms. "Prove it."

"Er… Let's see…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I know you are an alien."

"I see," Mikado smiled softly. "And what else do you know about me?"

"Well…" He rubbed his head, "In the future you work as a nurse at Sainan High. I'm guessing I haven't travelled that far back in time as you look exactly the same as the 'you' in the future."

"I see," Mikado frowned. "Can you tell me how the Galactic Civil War ends up?"

"Er…" Naruto blinked. "The civil war… that's when Gid rebelled against his dad right? Wait a second. That happened before the Unification wars and Lala said she wasn't born until the end of them so…" His eyes widened. "No way in hell. That would mean that I am around twenty years in the past?! But you haven't change at all!"

"My people live long lives," Mikado smiled. "So it isn't impossible that I haven't aged in twenty years."

"Wow…" Naruto shook his head, "To answer your question Gid wins." Naruto froze, "Or at least he did before I said that. Telling you shouldn't influence the result right?"

"Possibly," Mikado chuckled, "But hopefully not. Gid is the one who can finally bring peace to this universe." She paused, "Are you okay?"

"Sorry," Naruto choked out, "Trying not to laugh."

"Is he okay?" The door to the room opened before Mikado could comment and in walked a woman Naruto had never seen before. She had shoulder length black hair and narrow eyes that seemed to be glaring at everyone as she constantly smoothed out her uniform that looked ironed to perfection. Her most obvious feature though was her height or lack of it. She looked as if she would barely come up to Naruto's elbows. "Ah!"

"Huh?" Naruto realised he was naked, "Sorry!" He grabbed the bed quilt and covered himself with it.

"How shameless!" The girl pointed a finger at him accusingly. "Forcing a young maiden to witness such a… a horrid spectacle!"

"…My clothes weren't missing were they?" Naruto turned to Mikado who was trying her best not to laugh. "You stripped me."

"I had to make sure that you were fully healed," She stuck her tongue out and hit herself on the head, "Silly me I must have forgotten to dress you back up."

"That's a habit you don't grow out of," Naruto sighed heavily and got dressed.

"Anyway," The girl re-entered after Naruto dressed himself, "My name is Sasami Jundo," Sasami introduced herself.

"Naruto…" Naruto paused. _'If I really am in the past then that means that Kushina could be around here. If I introduce myself as an Uzumaki I might get directed to her…' _

'_**Yes. And then she would question you about your parentage and how long would you last before saying something stupid? I'd have my money on ten minutes at best.' **_Asmodea cut in, _**'Just go by your Devilukian name.' **_

"Naruto Asmodea Deviluke," Naruto introduced himself.

"Is that so," Mikado mumbled to herself.

"I am glad you are alright," Sasami frowned, "You shouldn't sleep in the middle of a street. You were nearly ran over by my boyfriend."

"Oh?" Naruto laughed weakly.

"Jundo-san?" A male walked in. Unlike Sasami who was short and neat, this boy was tall and slightly scruffy.

"Kotegawa-san," Sasami nodded at the boy.

"Your boyfriend?" Naruto asked.

"Of course not!" Sasami drew herself up to her full height, "Kotegawa-san is my vice-president!"

"Yeah, that's me," The boy tried to hide his pain at Sasami's reaction, "Tarou Kotegawa." He bowed his head, "Vice-president of the Student Council of Sainan High and childhood friend of Sasami here."

"That's Jundo-san!" Sasami stomped her foot, "Whilst we are in uniform we are to address each other professionally."

"Sainan High?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. _'I guess the uniform changes at some point. Her skirt is far longer than the current one and the school emblem is different. I never thought I'd say this but it looks like the principal made the right choice there.' _

In his mind a ghostly principal cried tears of joy, _'Thank you Naruto-dono!' _

Naruto shivered at the image.

"It is a school nearby," Sasami remarked. "One of the best schools in the area," She added proudly.

"Huh," Naruto frowned, _'And that's one point against the principal.' _

The ghostly principal just shrugged, _'At least I got the girls to show more skin. That was all I wanted to do as principal.' _

Naruto shook his head to clear the ghostly image out of his head. "I see." He smiled and focused on Sasami. "You must be quite smart."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well to be the Student President of one of the best schools in the area must be quite hard."

"It is," Sasami preened under the praise.

"Especially being so young…" Naruto continued.

"Oh dear," Tarou flinched.

"Y…Young?" Sasami twitched. "How old do you think I am?"

"Er… Twelve maybe?" Naruto offered.

"I'm seventeen!" Sasami waved her arms around madly.

"Oh…" Naruto laughed weakly. "My bad?"

"Humph," Sasami crossed her arms.

"Clearly you had a fall when Sasa… I mean Jundo-san and Yuuki-san found you. That's why you are unable to tell her age properly." Tarou was pleading mentally for Naruto to agree with him to try and cheer up the pint sized president.

"Er yeah," Naruto nodded. "I am feeling a little dizzy."

"Oh… okay then." Sasami seemed somewhat mollified by this.

"Wait did you say Yuuki?" Naruto blinked.

"My boyfriend is Saibai Yuuki," Sasami nodded. "Although sometimes I wonder if I should be with him."

"Really," Naruto laughed weakly. _'I'm pretty sure Rito's mother was called Ringo. Guess they haven't met each other yet.' _"Well I guess if it doesn't feel right it isn't right. Just talk to him, you never know he might feel the same way and you should see other people."

"That's… something to think about," Sasami nodded, "But my love life is not the issue here. If you were attacked it is your duty to report it to the police. If there is a criminal on the loose he or she must be found before they can hurt anyone else."

"If I remember anything I will be sure to report it," Naruto smiled awkwardly as the two students left.

"Man that Kotegawa-san is friend-zoned so hard," Mikado sighed.

"Oh I don't know," Naruto smiled to himself. "If I'm right Tarou might actually win her over."

"Really?"

"Let's just say I have a very good friend in the future who is a moral guardian and has the surname Kotegawa," Naruto chuckled. "Though she doesn't take after Sasami physically."

"Well that's good to know," Mikado nodded. "Saibai-kun is a dreamer and I can't see their relationship going the distance. But enough spoilers for one day," She turned to Naruto, "If you truly are from the future you will probably want to go back there."

"Yeah," Naruto frowned, "I don't even know how I got that thing to work. One moment I was channelling my Arcangus aura into that device, next thing I know it was like my entire body was being dipped in acid and somehow my blood stream had turned into shards of glass travelling through my body." He shivered. "Then I had a strange dream and woke up here."

"Arcangus?" Mikado raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said your surname was Deviluke."

"It kind of is," Naruto admitted. "I'm a half-breed."

"A half-breed that shows no devilukian traits?" Mikado licked her lips. "How interesting. Mind if I run a few tests?"

"I guess if it makes you happy I have no problems with that. You do my tests in the future so why not start now." Naruto shrugged. "What kind of tests do you want to do?"

"Oh just some… physical experiments," Mikado bent over giving Naruto a good look at her cleavage.

"…Walked right into that one didn't I?" Naruto looked away with a faint blush on his face.

"Just a little," Mikado laughed. "Although the offer still stands." She winked playfully.

Before Naruto could answer there was a frantic knocking at the door.

"Coming," Mikado walked over and opened it, "How can I… oh no."

"Hello Ryouko-chan," Three figures forced their way into the room, two of them standing by the door and the other grabbing Mikado's wrist and throwing her on the bed. They were wearing trench coats and balaclavas that hid all of their features.

"Obutsu," Mikado climbed off the bed. "How did you find me?"

"The boss is very upset Ryouko-chan," Obutsu glanced at Naruto, "Treating humans now? I'm sure they can't pay half as well as the boss paid you."

"I've had enough of being a mob doctor," Mikado narrowed her eyes. "I became a doctor to help people not to hurt them!"

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Obutsu mocked. "Didn't you take pride in your work?"

"Leave me alone," Mikado yelled, "I paid my debts!"

"Well that's the thing isn't it?" Obutsu laughed, the two cronies stood by the door joined in. "You paid off your initial debt but how about the rent and food that you owe us?"

"I…" Mikado shook her head, "That wasn't part of the deal!"

"You really should read the fine print," Obutsu smirked. "Now you can come with us peacefully or we can take you by force." He cackled, "I do so hope you choose the latter."

"No…" Mikado clenched her fists, "I am done with your boss. Kill me if you want but I will never work for him again."

"Boys," He glanced at his two minions, "Kill the… what the hell?"

"Oh sorry don't mind me," Naruto grinned as his Damus aura flared around him. "Are these yours?" He nodded to the two unconscious goons. "Seriously all it took was one punch. I guess your boss prefers quantity over quality."

"This is nothing to do with you," Obutsu snarled.

"Oh so you weren't about to tell your minions to 'kill the human'?" Naruto sighed, "Well I am embarrassed. Looks like I jumped the gun there."

"You are making an enemy of the Don of the Black Market!" Obutsu leered. "Do you think a lowly human stands a chance against him?"

"Naruto!" Mikado yelled. "Just run!"

"Er… No." Naruto cracked his neck. "If there is one thing I never can or will do it is run away when one of my precious people is in trouble."

"Precious people?" Mikado blinked.

"In the future you help me out a lot," He paused, "Sure you tease me but I guess that's just part of the deal."

"I don't know what you are talking about but…" Obutsu tossed aside his trench coat revealing his true form. "It doesn't matter. You die here!"

"Holy hell you are a giant rat," Naruto blinked. "Or are you a were-rat? If you bite me will I turn into a giant rat?"

"I am Obutsu," The giant rat declared. "Plague Lord of the Waste Planets. My touch is death!"

"Run Naruto!" Mikado begged, "He is one of the Don's strongest assassins."

"I am Naruto Deviluke," Naruto grinned, "And I will be the Emperor. If your touch will kill me, I just won't let you get close. Akuma Yari!" He launched a blast of red energy at the rat who took the blow to the chest and was blasted out of the clinic and landed on the floor outside.

"D-damn it!" Obutsu wailed in pain. "This… This isn't over!"

"Oh yes it is," Naruto grinned. "Akuma Danmaku!" A blitz of crimson energy blasts struck the rat creature leaving it a pile of twitching flesh.

"I'll…Get…you…" Obutsu whimpered as he passed out from pain.

"I…" Mikado blinked. "He was… He is… was one of the Don's greatest assassins."

"Was?" Naruto jerked his head at K.O.'Ed assassin. "He's still breathing."

"Not when the Don finds out about his failure." Mikado ran her hand through her hair. "I…"

"That wasn't even my full strength," Naruto grinned.

"Really?" Mikado hugged Naruto taking his arm between her breasts. "Maybe I could hire you as a bodyguard?"

"Maybe when I get back to the future." Naruto had a faint blush as Mikado let him go.

"I'll hold you to it." Mikado smiled. "But you'd better run away now," She warned. "The Charmians protect this planet and your little display will have gotten their attention and when they arrive to clean up and deal with that rat, they will also want to arrest you."

"Right," Naruto started to leave.

"Wait!" Mikado kissed him on the cheek.

"W-what?" Naruto blushed.

"Doesn't the princess have to reward her prince with a kiss? I would have preferred a more… intimate reward but I guess the situation doesn't allow for it." Mikado winked. "Now go boy!"

"Right away!" Naruto dismissed his aura and ran away.

"What an interesting boy," Mikado smiled. "A nurse at a school huh? That sounds… like it could be fun." She chuckled as she waited for the Charmians or the police to arrive, which ever happened first.

* * *

"Well that was interesting," Naruto muttered as he made his way through the town. It hadn't really changed much in all his time. In deference to the fact there was probably a Charmian squad trying to find him he decided to avoid the main streets and sneak through the side roads. Unfortunately as he was soon to discover, there was a reason why most people avoided the side roads.

"Halt evil-dooer!"

"…Me?" Naruto turned around to see a strange masked figure pointing at him.

"Yes you!" He clenched his fist. "This town will suffer no delinquents!"

"The Power Rangers called," Naruto remarked dryly. "Then want their outfit back."

"Your words shall not affect me delinquent!"

"You do realise you have picked a fight with me for no reason."

"But… you have blonde hair."

"And?" Naruto frowned, "I'll have you know that this is my natural hair colour."

"Oh…" The masked figure paused. "I have made a grievous error. I apologise." He bowed, "My quest to ignite the youthful flames of delinquents and direct them away from the self-destructive path got the better of me."

"No worries," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "So… Can I go?"

"Of course." He declared. "You're flames of youth are clearly burning bright!"

"Okay…" Naruto slowly edged away from the clearly insane individual.

"Come let our flames of youth illuminate this dismal town!"

"Let's not," Naruto stepped back.

"Eat my foot freak!" A female voice bellowed. "Kosho-Kikku! (A/N: Pepper Kick)"

"What?" Naruto blinked shortly before being kicked in the back of the head with such force that he was sent flying forwards and into a pile of rubbish. He smelt something burning and realised with horror it was his hair that was on fire.

"The Bloody Jalapeno!" The masked vigilante growled. "My eternal nemesis has arrived."

"What the…" Naruto pulled himself out of the rubbish rubbing the back of his head to extinguish the small fire there and froze.

"Oh… sorry," Kushina Uzumaki grinned awkwardly. As a fully grown woman, Kushina was full bodied beauty. Her long red hair was something that had always captivated him. Her sexy figure only made her flirtatious nature all the more difficult to resist. This was not that Kushina. This Kushina had dirt on her face and was wearing baggy clothes and was carrying two bokuto. Although she still had the killer figure and beautiful long red hair, she was more cheeky that sexy. "I was aiming for the masked wierdo."

"That's the Champion of Justice to you!" The aforementioned weirdo declared.

"It's…" Naruto pulled a banana peel from his head and tossed it to one side. "…Alright," He sighed. "I needed a bath anyway."

"Look what you did!" Kushina pointed at Champion of Justice. "Your dodge made me hit an innocent bystander!"

'_But he didn't dodge,' _Naruto rubbed his temples. _'You just suck at aiming.' _

"How dare you turn this on me?!" The masked vigilante held his right arm up at a right angle. "Prepare for your divine judgement! I am the champion of justice and mine is the crest of Urella!" A blue crest appeared on his arm he was enveloped in a blue aura that formed into a full set of knight armour with four armoured wings behind him.

"Not holding back eh?" Kushina grinned thrusting her right arm at the vigilante, "Mine is the crest of Zael!" A blue aura wrapped around Kushina, turning into a shrine maiden's outfit with four wings extending from them.

"…Does everyone in Sainan have an Arcangus crest?" Naruto blinked as the two sized each other up. "And why does everyone else's look better than mine?!"

"Tsuin Kosho Surasshu (A/N: Twin Pepper Slash)!" Kushina yelled as she brought both bokuto down in a cross shape launching a cross shaped blast of fire at the masked vigilante.

"YOUTH!" The masked vigilante released a powerful cry dispelling the energy attack. "Your unyouthful attacks shall never harm me!"

"Listen…" Naruto brushed himself off. "I don't know what the hell is going on here but," He stood beside Kushina, "I guess I'm on her side."

"Eh?" The Masked figure staggered backwards. "But... But… we were planning to light up the town with our youth!"

"I can honestly say I never had any intention of that."

"Curses!" The Champion of Justice pointed at Kushina. "Just you wait Bloody Pepper! I too will find an ally and then we shall battle! Till next time!" He declared as his aura faded away. "Same time next week?"

"That's… probably not going to happen," Kushina dispelled her aura.

"Oh right." The masked figure removed his helmet. It took Naruto a few moments to realise the bushy eyebrows were in fact a part of the boy's face and not some sort of alien parasite eating his flesh. "That time has arrived." He looked sorry for her.

"…I suddenly realise why he wears that mask," Naruto muttered under his breath earning a snort of laughter from Kushina.

"I wish there was something I could do."

"Don't worry about it Guy." Kushina ran a hand through her hair. "I'll see you around I guess."

"Er…" Naruto watched as Kushina walked away. "What's happening with her?"

"Kushina?" Guy shook his head. "She bears the unhappy burden of being a female Arcangus wielder."

"Which is?"

"They are married off to a powerful male Arcangus wielder," Guy sighed. "It is to ensure that the next bearer of the woman's crest is as powerful as possible. Seeing as men pass their crests on to whoever they chose they are free to marry whoever they want usually. Women always pass their crest onto their first born child so the council tries to ensure that the inheritor is as powerful as possible."

"I see," Naruto frowned. _'So she was forced to marry Dad… She wasn't kidding when she said that their marriage wasn't as perfect as I remember. But dad was… is a nice person. I don't believe that he would just sit back and let this happen. I probably shouldn't get involved. Just by being here I could be changing the future.' _He paused. _'Who am I kidding? Since when has the consequences stopped me from trying to help someone.' _He grinned and set off after Kushina who was slowly trudging through the streets. "Hey!"

"Huh?" Kushina tilted her head, "Oh it's you."

"I just wanted to talk," Naruto smiled.

"Well… keep your distance okay?" She wrinkled her nose, "You smell like garbage."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Oh right…" She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

"I'm Naruto by the way," Naruto smiled at her, "Naruto Deviluke."

"Kushina Uzumaki," Kushina grinned cheekily back, "I'd shake your hand but…" She gestured to his messy state. "You should probably go get a shower or something."

"I would but I have no place to go," Naruto sighed. "I've only just arrived here." _'Technically not lying there.' _

"Oh," Kushina looked guilty. "I guess you could use the hose in my backyard as an apology."

"…Thanks?" Naruto shook his head. "So you have an Arcangus crest?"

"Oh you know about those?" Kushina nodded. "Mine is the Arcangus of Forgiveness and Compassion, Zael the Benevolent." She glanced at her right arm. "I inherited it from my mother."

"I see," Naruto walked alongside Kushina. "You looked pretty cool back there."

"Really?" Kushina seemed surprised. "Usually most boys are put off by my power."

"I can tell you worked hard," He gestured to her hands. "You don't get calluses and scars like those from taking it easy."

"Yeah," Kushina grinned. "I…" Her grin faded, "I always believed that if I was strong enough I could change my fate. Guess that was a pipe dream." She sighed softly.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"I… I have to marry a guy I've never even met before." She admitted. "He's a bit older than me too."

"You shouldn't have to marry someone if you don't want to," Naruto reassured her, "You should only ever marry for love."

"Really?" Kushina smirked, "I wouldn't have thought anyone who knew about the Arcangus crests would say that. They are our only line of defence against… well whatever it is that we are supposed to fight." Kushina stared at the sky, "All we do is train against each other and pass on the crest. No one ever told us what we are preparing to fight against."

"Who is it that told you about the Arcangus crests?"

"That'd be gramps." Kushina glanced at her. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well…" Naruto closed his eyes and called upon his Arcangus aura, "This is why."

"Cute," Kushina sniggered. "You can manipulate your Arcangus aura about as well as I could… when I was three."

"Hey!" Naruto defended himself, "I didn't even know I could use it until a few months ago!"

"Any excuse," Kushina stuck her tongue out as she approached her house. Naruto recognised it instantly. After all it hadn't changed much in the future, except what was once a café underneath it would become a maid café in the future. "Go around the back and I'll have the hosepipe set up for you."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled as he made his way through the alleyway and into the backyard where Kushina was waiting for him.

"Think warm thoughts," Kushina advised before opening the tap and spraying Naruto with ice cold water.

"Gargh!" Naruto shivered under the torrent of water.

"That ought to do it," Kushina nodded after about ten minutes. "You alright?"

"H-hang on," Naruto shivered. He felt a satisfying rush of heat as his Damus aura enveloped him, releasing it as soon as it formed. "Much better."

"Whoa…" Kushina blushed slightly. The strange energy he had emitted made her feel strange in the pit of her stomach. As he swung his hair to try and get rid of the water in it, Kushina could have sworn he was moving in slow motion and the light was shining off of him just right.

"Thanks," Naruto grinned.

"It's n-nothing," Kushina stammered with a blush on her face. "So… you wanted to meet Gramps right?"

"That's right," Naruto nodded.

"Follow me," Kushina lead Naruto into the back of the café.

'_That's where Yui and I had to get changed that time,' _Naruto thought as he followed Kushina, _'This place really doesn't change much.' _

"This way," Kushina knocked on the door. "Gramps?"

"Whassup!" The door flung open. "Oh? Got a boyfriend have you?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kushina punched the man behind the door in the face.

"Er…" Naruto blinked. He had shoulder length brown haired and laughed off Kushina's punch. For someone called 'Gramps' he was quite young looking. "Hi?"

"Oh right," He grinned, "The name is Harishima Senju, please to meet you youngster." He sat down cross legged. "I have a feeling that I should know who you are… Minato right? I thought you were older."

"My name is Naruto Deviluke," Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Huh?" Harishima leaned forwards. "Yeah… you have a darkness to you that Mini doesn't." Harishima nodded.

"A darkness?" Naruto frowned.

"Yeah," Harishima nodded. "You might want to keep an eye on that."

"Ignore him," Kushina elbowed Harishima in the ribs causing him to bend over wheezing. "He likes to speak nonsense and pretend he is being mysterious. I'll be helping mum in the café if you need me." She left the room.

"Well anyway," Harishima laughed heartily. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could tell me a little about the Arcangus."

"What do you want to know?"

"Well…" Naruto called upon his aura, "I think I may possibly have one inside me."

"I see," Harishima grinned. "Focus on your centre, where the aura seems to originate from."

"Er…." Naruto closed his eyes and focused.

"Let's see what's going on in there," Harishima placed a palm on Naruto's forehead.

All of sudden Naruto felt a juddering sensation and found himself stood in a white area with no identifiable areas.

"**Welcome to my abode of debauchery!" **

"Asmodea?" Naruto blinked. As expected of the Damus of Lust and Corruption, she was wearing very little. A black bra with her crest on the cups written in blood red stitching, black hot pants covered her hips with two bits of thread lifting over her hips implying she was wearing a thong and to finish off the look she was wearing black high heels. Her short red hair was unsettled by two small horns curled out of her forehead and a pointed tail poked out of the back of her mini skirt. Her slitted red eyes looked at Naruto hungrily as she licked her lips as black chains seemed to sensually crawl around her body. In short she looked very much like a succubus if not for one thing.

"You're a loli?" Naruto blinked.

"**This is just a small fragment of my power!" **Asmodea defended herself, **"Besides I'd bet you'd love this form if I called you Onii-sama." **She pouted.

"Er… That's new," Harishima laughed. "You definitely don't look like any Arcangus I've ever seen."

"**Who are you?" **Asmodea narrowed her eyes as she wrapped her tail around Naruto's arm and hid behind him, peering out from behind him like a shy little girl.

"I recognise that voice." There was a solemn voice that reminded Naruto of a strict, disapproving teacher followed by a flash of light in which another small girl appeared. This one was wearing a small iron breastplate, gauntlets and shin pads over the top of a light blue dress. She had long purple hair that was as long as she was. A slim silver crown adorned the top of her hair. Eight small wings that looked incapable of flight were on her back and a strange glowing ring of energy levitated softly above her head.

"…**Michaela." **Asmodea's eyes narrowed.

"Whore." 

"**Stuck up bitch."**

"Why don't you go and spread your legs like the common slut you are."

"**Why don't you go and eat out that sister of yours that you so love?" **

"Do not compare your twisted ideals of love to the pure relationship of Gabriella and myself."

"**Even just hearing the name of that bimbo pisses me off." **Asmodea growled.

"I will not have you bad mouth my Gabriella!"

"Play nicely," Harishima laughed. "Little Micha-chan doesn't play well with others."

"I am the first of the Seven. Only my sisters are worthy of my time."Michaela crossed her arms.

"**Especially if you can get them into your bed right?" **Asmodea snapped.

"So this is a Damus," Harishima looked at Asmodea critically. "Can you sense the Arcangus in here?"

"I do not sense any of my sisters here… No wait… It is faint…" Michaela scowled. "She is incomplete. She cannot wake up until she is whole again."

"I see," Harishima nodded. "Sorry kid," He grinned at Naruto. "Until your Arcangus is restored I can't really help you."

"Just one question," Naruto cleared his throat. "Are all Damus and Arcangus spirits lolis?"

"**In our true forms we are adults," **Asmodea sighed, **"Unfortunately the power in our seals is so small that we appear in reduced forms." **

"So that's a yes."

"Regardless of the form we appear in, do not doubt our power."

"Aww Micha-chan is pouting!" Hirashima laughed, "She's just so cute!"

* * *

Naruto was sat outside of the café, the time machine in his hands. "It just looks like a clock. Maybe if I turn back the hands… Though there are those strange buttons. Even if knew how to change the settings on the damn thing I still don't know how I got it to work in the first place." He paused in his thoughts as the door to the café opened and Kushina strolled out.

"Hi," She smiled at him.

"Hey," Naruto smiled as Kushina sat down next to him. "You look down."

"Did your talk with Gramps go well?"

"Not too bad," Naruto shrugged. "Apparently my Arcangus spirit isn't all there so I can't use it."

"That sucks," Kushina stared up at the sky.

"Something you want to talk about?" Naruto asked her.

"Me?"

"You said something earlier about having to marry someone."

"Oh that," Kushina sighed. "I don't see what good talking about it will do."

"You never know, maybe you'll like the guy."

"Maybe I will," Kushina sighed. "But there is someone else I like."

"Really?" Naruto blinked. "Who is that?"

"Oh," Kushina blushed, "He is a teacher at my school and he always makes me feel special. He's so kind and handsome and rich! He is some sort of noble where he comes from and he knows about my Arcangus powers but actually still likes me." She blushed, "And he said that he wants to marry me someday. Imagine that, me Kushina married to a rich noble like that." She turned melancholy again, "But in a few days I'll be sent away from here to the resort where my future husband's family lives so we can get used to each other."

"Do you have many friends here?" Naruto asked, deflecting talk away from this teacher that left Naruto with a strange sensation in his stomach that he didn't like one bit.

"A few," Kushina smiled. "There's this one friend of mine called Ringo-chan, she's a little plump and has low self-confidence but she is madly in love with this guy. But this guy is already in a relationship with someone so…" Kushina paused, "Sorry that wasn't what you were asking."

"Feel free to continue," Naruto smiled, "If that's what you want to talk about."

"It's just," Kushina sighed, "I want her to find her happiness… seeing as I can't."

"Don't say that," Naruto smiled at her, "Everyone can find their happiness."

"You think so?" Kushina pursed her lips.

"I know so," Naruto smiled. "And if anyone disagrees," He flexed his muscles. "I'll beat them into dirt!"

"Really?" Kushina smiled at him, "You who can't even form a proper Aura?"

"Hey!" Naruto crossed his arms, "My Damus aura is more powerful anyway. Even with its side effects."

"Sure it is," Kushina remarked.

"You doubt me?" Naruto gasped dramatically causing Kushina to laugh.

Watching over the two stood Harishima Senju and his wife.

"You look thoughtful dear," Mito Uzumaki smiled at her lover. She too looked no older than 40, her red hair pinned up in a regal fashion. She was wearing a silk kimono and stood behind her husband.

"Just thinking," Hirashima smiled softly. "The rules for women are kind of draconian aren't they?"

"That's just how it has always been," She walked up to him, "And I doubt you have much time left to change it."

"Yeah," Harishima nodded. "I've decided I'll pass Michaela onto Jiraiya. He shows the most promise of the potential inheritors. If that Naruto were a little stronger I might have even considered him."

"The boy interests you," Mito smiled.

"Yeah," Hirashima grinned. "I know where each of the seven are, yet that boy has an aura. There are only ever seven crests at any one time. Could that Naruto have the beginning of a new spirit in him? Plus he has a Damus spirit in him, that's the first time I've ever seen one. Despite this his soul is pure and clean and if you ask me," He crossed his arms, "I think he has a great destiny ahead of him. Look at them," Hirashima smiled fondly gesturing to the two. Naruto was talking and making exaggerated gestures that was clearly amusing Kushina. "I've never seen Kushina warm up to someone so fast."

"He has a gift," Mito agreed. "But Kushina's path has already been set in stone."

"Persistent rain can erode even the most stubborn stone." He glanced at Naruto. "Well what happens, happens. I gather the boy is homeless so he can stay the night here."

"I'll let him know." Mito walked off.

'_I have finished my meditation.' _Michaela spoke solemnly.

'_Discovered anything useful.' _

'_The boy should be dead. His body shows signs of incredible damage, my guess is from a high dose of Arcangus and Damus energy mixing in his body. Yet rather than cripple him his body seems to be rapidly repairing and improving itself. It appears the more damage he takes the stronger he becomes. Admittedly the effects are minimal at the moment. By the way I have identified the Arcangus spirit.' _

'_Really?_'

'_It is the Arcangus of Charity.' _

'_Mini's Arcangus? How is that possible?' _

'_Asmodea was slighter younger than me. Given the stability of her seal I would say that the Asmodea we saw was over ten years older than me. An exact date would be difficult to ascertain.'_

'_I thought you said she was younger than you?" _

'_The presence of an impossible Arcangus and the strange age issues make me suspect that the boy has somehow fallen through time. The memories I extracted from him confirmed this. His real name is Naruto Uzumaki. His memories are fragmented and protected by a strange and irritating Devil kin so I was not able to obtain any more in the time we were in his mind.' _

'_I see…' _Harishima rubbed his eyelids. '_Well that is interesting. I can't wait to see what sort of mayhem he will cause." _

* * *

Naruto smiled as he sat on the roof of the café staring at the stars. _'It was kind of nice getting to speak to Kushina like that. God knows we can't have a conversation for ten seconds without her asking me for sex in the future. I wonder what happened to change her like that.' _

'_**Oh please. Don't say you can't smell her desire. She is exactly the same as in the future but she uses fighting to distract herself from her womanly urges.' **_

'_Really?' _Naruto pulled a face.

'_**If there is one thing that I have a lot of experience with, it is Uzumaki's suppressing their natural desires.' **_

'_I can't help but feel that was a subtle dig at me.'_

"_**It wasn't subtle at all.' **_

'_Still… Do you know how I got back here?' _He pulled the time travel device from one of his pockets. _'How does this even work?' _

'_**I don't have a clue. I think the combined Damus and Arcangus energy powered it but as to how we get back I don't know. All I can suggest is changing the settings, summoning one of each clone again and dispelling them at the same time.' **_

'_Yeah… I guess I'll do that tomorrow.' _Naruto stood up and started to head back towards the bedroom that he had been given for the night, freezing when he heard a sudden bang and a hissed curse.

'_Is that Kushina?' _Naruto peered off the roof. '_It must be nearly midnight… Where is she going?' _

'_**A secret midnight rendezvous? How scandalous.' **_Asmodea chuckled.

'_I'm sure that isn't it.' _Naruto tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach.

'_**Maybe that teacher she mentioned plans to elope with her.' **_

'_I… if that's what she chooses.' _Naruto frowned.

'_**You are totally going to follow her.' **_

'_I'm… I'm just going to make sure she is safe that is all.' _

'_**What's this? Jealous of this mystery teacher?' **_

'_Not at all.' _Naruto lied as he made his way across the rooftops shadowing Kushina who moved quickly, completely oblivious to her escort.

'_**So… you do realise you are technically stalking a girl you only met a few hours ago?'**_

'_I've known her longer than that.' _

'_**But she has only known you for a few hours. That is a textbook stalker case.' **_

'_That's… I mean…' _Naruto ran a hand through his hair.

'_**And isn't it every girls dream to marry a handsome prince?' **_

'_You… I just don't like this feeling.' _

'_**Jealousy doesn't suit you Naruto. Strange isn't it? How you used to ignore Kushina's advances but now that she wants someone else you are obsessing about her.' **_

'_That's not… I mean…' _Naruto scowled as he dropped off of the roofs and hid behind a wall as Kushina glanced in his direction. _'I didn't ignore her advances.' _

'_**Yeah, yeah you did. And she was good to go you know.' **_

'_I…' _Naruto continued following Kushina who was looking at a note

'_**And she only ever wanted you, you know?' **_

'_I know…' _Naruto closed his eyes, _'I… I always took her for granted didn't I?' _

'_**But did you ever wonder why?' **_

'_I didn't…' _Naruto opened his eyes. _'The first thing I will do when I get back is ask her.' _

'_**Second thing. First thing you do is bend her over the bed and…' **_

'_And you are back to normal.' _Naruto smiled wistfully. _'I was wondering why you decided to act the moral guardian.' _

'_**Pardon? I was just making sure you were aware of how successful my corruption of you.' **_

'… _THAT IS ALL YOU ARE TAKING FROM ALL THIS?!' _

'_**Oh come on. We both know you weren't going to let anything I said stop you from tailing her. My only goal in that conversation was to get you to stop ignoring her advances which I believe I achieved.' **_

'_Can I awaken my Arcangus Loli now? I think I need someone else to talk to.' _

'_**We are not Lolis! Stop transmitting your own sexual fetishes onto us.' **_

'_I am not a Lolicon.' _Naruto watched as Kushina entered Sainan High. The school looked different to the one that Naruto remembered. _'Then again I do remember there was a massive fire that happened sometime before I was born. She going inside isn't she?' _

'_**Looks like it is that teacher,' **_Asmodea remarked in an offhand manner.

'_I don't like this.' _Naruto frowned as he stood on the school wall.

* * *

"Sensei?" Kushina walked into the moonlight classroom. A solitary figure was stood staring out of the window.

"Ah Uzumaki-san," The teacher turned around, the moonlight showing his short black hair and faded suit. His two amber eyes followed Kushina with a poorly concealed hunger. "I'm so glad you decided to join me."

"Well… How could I turn you down," Kushina shyly looked at the floor. "You could get into trouble if people knew that you wanted to meet me like this it could cost you your job."

"There are some things more important than my job."

"Henso-sensei…" Kushina looked at her feet.

"I hear that you are going away shortly." Henso smiled softly. "I was worried you would be out of my reach."

"Sensei…" Kushina mumbled her cheeks on fire.

"If we do not take our chances we may come to regret it." Henso strolled towards him.

"B-but…" Kushina took a step back. "This all seems so fast."

"Please…" Henso reached out to stroke Kushina but she batted away his hand.

"I'm… Well…" Kushina retreated until her back hit a wall, "This doesn't feel right."

"I should have known you'd be difficult," He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "If you humans didn't have your stupid laws this would have been so much easier."

"What?" Kushina blinked.

"Do you even know what is going on up there?" Henso pointed at the sky. "Up there a glorious ruler is in danger of being overthrown by a vicious rebel who cares only for death and destruction. A child born of a Damus wielder and an Arcangus wielder would have the power to save him and end this pointless war."

"W-what? Are you crazy?" Kushina stammered. "There's no way… That's just crazy!"

"Even if it dooms the glorious empire you would not conceive my child?" Henso sighed. "You humans are so selfish."

"How the hell could I believe a story like that?!" Kushina frowned. "And you're a human too!"

"Don't make me laugh," Henso snorted. "I am a member of the elite rulers of this universe. I am Henso Deviluke! Nephew of Lord Sukuma, true emperor of the Galaxy." A tail slipped out from his trousers. "Do not mistake me for some common human."

"Feh," Kushina sighed. "Was it really too much to ask for one of my fantasies to become real?" She held out her right arm. "Mine is the Crest of Zael!" Enveloped in a blue aura, the shrine maiden's outfit appeared again.

"How predictable," Henso sighed as the floor suddenly glowed pink.

"What do you…" Suddenly Kushina's aura failed and she fell to her knees as her head started to swim as if she were drunk.

"You see… what you are basically doing is drawing upon the natural energy of the Earth," Henso strolled towards the downed Kushina. "The Arcangus sealed a vast amount of their power here and your aura allows you to draw upon that energy. The Arcangus were the same and the Damus had several ways of dealing with that." He smirked.

"What are you talking about?" Kushina felt a strange burning in her loins.

"This is known as Asmodea's embrace," He pulled a small vial filled with red dust. "I won't waste time explaining the details, but let's just say this should make you more… susceptible to certain actions." He grinned lecherously, "Whether you want to or not."

"Like hell I'll let you touch me." Kushina growled as she leaned against a wall.

"You say that but I know you can feel her overwhelming lust. An ache that you must deal with deep in your core, a crippling desire to be ravished by anyone who happens to be near?"

"I…" The room started swimming.

"Really I would have preferred to take you willingly but this will do." Henso smirked. "Take off your clothes."

"No…" Kushina reached for her clothes. "I don't want to."

"Who is going to save you?" Henso asked.

"Please Gramps…" Tears trailed down her face as her body moved without her consent and cast aside her clothes before walking towards Henso who was undressing. "Mum… Anyone…Naruto…Save me!"

"AKUMA DANMAKU YOU BASTARD!" The wall exploded as a volley of energy blasts screamed through the wall, striking Henso and causing him to stagger backwards.

"What the…" He covered his face and tried to identify his assailant.

"SHOTEN! JIGOKU NO IKARI!" Naruto smashed through the wall encased in crimson aura his fists on fire. He glared at Henso, "AKUMA JUDAN!" He roared, charging towards the teacher and smashing him into the wall. "DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Naruto just started punching as fast as he could, each punch knocking the teacher further into the wall.

'…_**Holy hell. Remind me not to upset you.' **_Asmodea remarked but Naruto was deaf to her words. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears and the desire to rip the bastard limb from limb.

"Satsujin no Yari (A/N: Murder Spear)!" Henso weathered the furious onslaught and coated his fist in energy that he launched the aura directly at Naruto, penetrating his protective shell and biting deep into his stomach, knocking him backwards across the room.

"Damn it," Naruto spat blood and wrenched the spear of energy from his chest, wincing at the burning sensation as his aura healed him.

"A mongrel dares to stand against an elite?" Henso spat. His clothes were ruined but he himself appeared largely uninjured by Naruto's assault. "Fine, first I kill you then I will impregnate the human wench."

"No…" Kushina whimpered as the ungodly desire in her body caused her to play with her breasts. "This… This isn't me! Please don't look!" She sobbed.

'_Asmodea… If he is using your intent can I do something about Kushina?' _

'_**I'll need about ten seconds of uninterrupted contact with her and I don't think this guy is going to let you do that. You'll have to deal with him first.' **_

"You're a tough bastard." Naruto growled. "But I'll die before I let you do anything to Kushina."

"Naruto…" Kushina blinked.

"How brave," Henso rolled his eyes. "But I can't help but feel you haven't noticed that you are completely outmatched."

"Yeah but can you do this?" Naruto grinned, "Akuma Bunshin!"

"What's up bitches?" Akuma grinned. "Hey wanna see something cool?"

"What? A clone technique? This is most interesting." Henso smirked.

"You aint seen nothing yet," Akuma grinned. "Mugen Akuma Danmaku (A/N: Endless Devil Barrage)" His entire body glowed red and a continuous barrage of red blasts struck the devilukian teacher forcing him back.

"That ought to buy me some time," Naruto ran over to the naked Kushina who had fallen to the floor and was pleasuring herself.

"Don't look," Kushina sobbed. "My body… I can't…"

"It's okay," Naruto placed a palm on her forehead. "It's all going to be okay." He whispered soothingly.

'_**Draining… Draining… Draining… Done!' **_

"My body." Kushina covered herself. "I…" She couldn't look Naruto in the eyes.

"It's okay," He smiled at her. "Let's get you dressed and get you home."

"How can I live after that…" Kushina sobbed. "You saw me… I was going to…"

"It doesn't matter." Naruto cut her off. "You are alive and healthy. That is all that matters. Grab your clothes and I'll deal with this guy alright?"

"Right…" Kushina made her way to her clothes before pausing. "You know… You have to take responsibility." She mumbled.

"Sorry?" Naruto looked at her.

"Nothing," Kushina gathered her clothes and headed out of the classroom. "And Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." And with that Kushina retreated.

"I regret nothing!" Akuma declared as Henso ripped his arm off causing him to disperse in a crackle of energy.

"Interesting," Henso smirked as he returned his attention to Naruto. "I wonder… can you do that again?"

"Akuma Bunshin!"

"And I'm back baby!" Akuma grinned. "Just can't keep me…"

"Satsujin no Yari!"

"God damn it!" Akuma yelled as he was hit by the attack and dispersed.

"While I appreciate the distraction," Henso drawled, "I tire of this."

"That makes two of us," Naruto scowled. He was starting to get stabbing pains throughout his body as the Shoten finally began to take its toll. "Akuma Juden!" He rocketed towards the devilukian gathering energy in his right hand in a sphere. "Akuma Rasengan!" With a battle cry Naruto thrust the spiralling sphere into Henso's chest who merely grunted as the sphere failed to deal significant damage. "Hakai!" The sphere erupted into a powerful blast completely destroying the wall and everything behind Henso.

"That actually hurt," He frowned as he rubbed the reddened area of skin.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Naruto scowled as he jumped backwards. _'Suggestions?' _

'_**Well… Can you stack Shoten uses?' **_

'_Err… I could try.' _Naruto frowned as he traded blows with Henso. _'I'll be honest I don't know what effect it will have.' _

'_**I'm sure I can fix any damage it causes… probably.' **_

'_Sorry what was that?'_

'_**I said I can fix any damage it causes.' **_

'_Oh right.' _Naruto grinned, "Shoten X2! OH SWEET GOD!" Naruto cried out in pain as every fibre of his being screamed in protest. His aura shrunk so much it was looked like a thin red outline surrounding him.

'_**Huh what do you know? I was wrong.' **_

"Damn it," Naruto found it difficult to breathe.

"Satsujin no Yari!" Henso fired another blast of energy at Naruto but the attack simply bounced off him. "What?"

"Can't breathe…" Naruto choked out.

'_**Okay… Just release all your energy damn it!' **_

'_I have an idea!' _Naruto struggled to point his left hand at Henso who seemed to be gathering energy in preparation for an attack. He pointed two fingers at his target whilst keeping the rest of his fist clenched.

"Akuma…" Naruto scowled as a small red sphere appeared at the edge of his extended fingers, crackling with barely contained power. "No Taihou!" The small sphere screamed towards Henso.

"Satsujin no…" Henso never got to finish his attack as Naruto's last ditch attack struck him, detonated in a cataclysmic explosion that engulfed the entire classroom sending Naruto hurtling back through several walls before skidding to a halt. His attack had completely destroyed the top two floors of the school and as Naruto lay on a pile of debris he could see the sky.

"It's a beautiful night," Naruto grinned. "Not so smug now are you bastard? Ha! Ouch my ribs… My ribs… It hurts to laugh…"

'_**Yeah… You're pretty messed up. The good news is I can rebuild you… stronger than you were before!' **_

'_Bad news?' _

'_**You are going to be out of commission for a few hours. Also your ability to manipulate Damus energy is going to be out of whack for a few days. That last attack completely drained my seal.' ' **_

'_That doesn't seem so bad. So I have to wait a few more days before trying to use the time travel machine again. I'm sure everything will be fine.' _

"You… you low bred wretch!" Henso staggered out of some debris. Only tiny fragments of clothes remained protecting his dignity.

"Well… Damn…" Naruto groaned.

'_**Yeah… I don't think he is going to be willing to wait a few hours for you to heal, never mind the few days for you to be back to 100%.'**_

"I'll admit…" Henso limped towards him. "I wasn't expecting to take this much damage. You are stronger than I was expecting. I'll give you a choice. Pledge your service to me and the glorious Sukuma or…" He pointed his palm pointed at Naruto's chest, "Die."

"Hehehe." Naruto coughed up some blood. "How about no?"

"Oh? Are you one of that idiot Gid's retinue? The foolish prince thinks that a few words and good deeds will win him the hearts of the Universe."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto spat. "Personally I think he is a jackass. But compared to your 'Glorious Sukuma'…" Naruto chuckled weakly, "I'm starting to rethink my opinion of him."

"Is that so?" Henso scowled. "Then I guess it is time for you to die."

"Hey bastard!" Kushina charged into what was left of the classroom surrounded in her shrine maiden aura.

"What?" He turned around.

"Feel a maiden's wrath!" She formed several hand seals causing a strange distortion in the air that slowly turned into a glowing ember. "Akato-garashi (A/N: Red Hot Chilli Pepper)!" A white hot fireball screamed towards Henso colliding and igniting with a brightness that burned Naruto's eyes even with his eyes shut. The resulting inferno started to spread throughout the classroom.

"DAMN IT!" Henso staggered backwards. "This isn't over!" He fled with severe burns.

"That was awesome," Naruto admitted. "How'd you do that?"

"You… You liked that?" Kushina looked embarrassed. "I mean…"

"You saved my ass." Naruto chuckled until a burning timber fell down near him. "Although you might actually finish what he started."

"Ah!" Kushina ran over to Naruto and lifted him up, throwing his arm over her shoulder. "You're badly hurt!"

"I'll be fine in a couple of hours."

"You know you don't have to play the big hero for my sake."

"It'll take more than a jackass like that to beat me." Naruto smirked.

"Hey Naruto," Kushina looked at the sky as they left the burning school.

"Yeah?"

"…Why were you there?"

"Er…" Naruto laughed weakly.

"Were you stalking me?"

"I'd call it more of… well… protecting you?" Naruto sighed weakly.

"Like a guardian angel?" Kushina looked at her feet.

"Something like that," Naruto admitted.

"Heh," Kushina smiled softly. "My own guardian angel."

The two travelled back to the café in silence, the only light from the moon and the school building that was slowly being consumed by fire.

* * *

Kushina yawned as she woke up. She'd had the strangest dream. She was no stranger to dreams of a sexual nature (her Granny and mother assured her that being an Uzumaki meant increased Libido amongst over things) but she had never had one so… vivid before or detailed before. Naruto had featured prominently.

She started getting dressed in her usual baggy clothes and paused. "Maybe… Maybe Naruto would like it more if I wore something more mature…" She tossed the clothes to one side and picked up a tank top and a short skirt. "Maybe I should show a bit more flesh," She bit her lip uncertainly.

As she approached the café counter where they were making breakfast her mother turned to her and froze.

Tsunade was wearing her usual Special Forces military outfit whilst her husband Dan ran the café.

"Morning Shina-chan," Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "What's with the outfit change?"

"No reason," Kushina mumbled.

"Good morning everybody!" Harishima marched into the café with a bandaged Naruto thrown over one of his shoulders.

"What happened to him?" Tsunade blinked. "And who the hell is he?"

"He's a homeless boy I adopted."

"I'm not homeless!" Naruto flailed ineffectually. "And if my Damus aura was working I would kick your ass!"

"Of course you would," Harashima laughed as he dumped Naruto into a seat. "Hmm… Those arms don't look so good…"

"You broke them you…" Naruto was cut off by Harishima smacking him on the back of the head.

"Whoops, clumsy me," Harashima laughed heartily. "Shina-chan! Homeless boy needs help eating his breakfast."

"I'm not…" He was cut off as Kushina approached looking embarrassed. "What's with the outfit change?"

"Do… Do you like it?" Kushina asked.

"Er…" Naruto smiled, "Yeah it… It looks good on you."

"Great," Kushina beamed and grabbed a plate, "Er… Is there anything you'd prefer to eat?"

"Oh I'm fine with pretty much anything," Naruto smiled.

"A hearty appetite," Harishima nodded. "You know what they say about men with hearty appetites. He has plenty of stamina for certain activities." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Husband," Mito's tone was glacial as she grabbed her husband by the ear and dragged him out of the café.

"What was that about?" Kushina asked.

"I'm sure I have no idea," Naruto deadpanned.

"Open wide!" Kushina cut up a sausage and fed Naruto it.

"Thank you," Naruto smiled. "You're like my own personal nurse."

"Oh I'll bet I could find a nurses outfit." Kushina tapped her chin causing Naruto to start choking on the morsel of food he was eating. "Oh?" Kushina smiled. "You like that idea?"

"Say," Tsunade whispered to Dan, "Is it me or Kushina acting a little off today?"

"She is around that age when she starts to notice boys." Dan nodded.

"Dan… Why are you cradling a shotgun?"

"…In case Shina-chan needs my help?"

"No killing potential boyfriends." Tsunade ordered. "Besides this Naruto could be her last chance of getting out of that Arcangus Agreement."

"Yeah," Dan smiled softly. If a woman Arcangus holder was already in love and married to someone, the council would not force her to marry who they chose. It did force Arcangus wielders to marry young and if the marriage ever fell apart they would have to marry the council's choice but it was a slim glimmer of hope that would otherwise be denied. "But doesn't she only have a few days before she is sent to that Namikaze boy's family?"

"Depends," Tsunade grinned. "If Shina does fall in love with this guy, do you really think anyone is going to force her to marry?"

"I'll double check our house insurance," Dan sighed, "I have a feeling this building is going to get damaged soon." He walked into the back of the café.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he sat in the backyard of the café. Harishima was stood before him in full lecture mode.

"Right then," Harishima tried to look serious which is harder to do when your face is covered in bandages from a wifely lecture. "Since you can't actually use the full power of the Arcangus I can't teach you anything advanced," He scratched his chin. "But I can teach you the basics. First things first." Harishima extended his right arm. "This is an Arcangus Crest." A glowing blue emblem appeared on the back of his palm. "This is basically an advanced alien program that allows you to access and control the power of an Arcangus spirit. The activation is pretty simple. The control phrase is just 'Mine is the Crest of Michaela.'"

A blue glow started to envelop Harishima and when he was visible again he was surrounded by ghostly blue plate armour with eight wings protruding from his back. "Obviously when you learn the name of your Arcangus and restore it you would say her name. In this form we are able to constantly draw in energy from the world around us to maintain this form. Now by making hand signs we can manipulate the natural energies of the world. You've watched Shina-chan right? Her element is fire so she tends to throw fireballs around a lot. And she is very passionate, if you know what I mean." He elbowed Naruto in the ribs.

"Er… I guess I do," Naruto thought back to the future Kushina he knew.

"Good," Harishima nodded. "Now… Show me your Arcangus aura."

"Right." Naruto called upon the soothing energies of his Arcangus aura. "How's that?"

"Hmm," Harishima nodded. "That's interesting. Those four orbs appear to be the same as wings yet they cannot collect energy, only store it. I'm guessing you have to manually collect the energy."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Well the good news is you should be able to use quite a few of our abilities. Now… It is time to figure out your element." Harishima pulled out a strange paper device that looked like a flower. "Now then," He showed the top to Naruto, "Pick a colour."

"Er…" Naruto glanced at the paper device. "Isn't this one of those things that were a popular game on the playground?"

"Hey… Do you want to learn the super cool Arcangus abilities or not?"

"…" Naruto looked at the options. "Blue."

"Right," Harishima adjusted the paper flower, "B-L-U-E. Right pick a number," He extended the paper toy towards Naruto.

"Er… Nine."

"Right, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9." Harashima opened the flower. "Okay your element is wind."

"Seriously?" Naruto blinked.

"Yeah," Harashima nodded.

"That children's toy told you that?" Naruto asked.

"Oh no." Harashima laughed. "Michaela was scanning you whilst I kept you distracted. However the toy tells me your future wife will have red hair and a fiery personality." He tossed it to one side.

"Right," Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"Convenient that," Harashima scratched his chin, "Wind and Fire go together very well. Anyway…" He clapped his hands. "First things first I should teach you the basic hand seals."

While Naruto was being lectured, Kushina and Mito were watching him, sat at a table with a delicate tea set in front of him.

"He is very interesting isn't he?" Mito poured some tea into a cup and delicately passed it to Kushina who gulped it down furiously. "Please… be more refined. Men tend to like women to be refined."

"Really?" Kushina paused as Mito refilled her cup.

"Yes," Mito nodded and filled her own cup. "Wild men always have gentle women to calm and guide them." She sipped genteelly from her cup.

"Wild men huh?" Kushina watched as Naruto started forming hand signs resulting in him being thrown backwards by a gust of wind that sent him hurtling into a pile of trash. "There's wild and then there's chaotic maelstroms."

"There's no accounting for personal taste," Mito remarked. "Harashima told me the two of you came back late last night."

"Yeah," Kushina blinked, "It isn't what you think!"

"I think nothing until I gather all the facts," Mito replied with a soft smile.

"Well… It turns out Henso-sensei was…" She closed her eyes.

"A devilukian." Mito sipped her tea.

"Eh?" Kushina blinked.

"You were never in any real danger," Mito smiled softly. "Your grandfather and I were watching although when Naruto rescued you we decided to let him be the hero and defeat the devilukian. I wanted to make a move the instant your aura powered down but Shima-kun wanted Naruto to have his chance to save you."

"What are the devilukians?"

"An alien race which in a sick twist of fate rules most of the universe. They are very emotional and prone to irrational behaviour." Mito pursed her lips. "Unfortunately Henso escaped in the inferno that destroyed your school." Mito fixed her granddaughter with a steely gaze, "We will be talking about that later."

"How do you know so much about them?"

"I am not human," Mito smiled. "I am an alien known as a Charmian. We are the caretakers of this planet." She frowned, "I wasn't supposed to get involved so personally but I met your grandfather and… well." She blushed demurely. "The rest is history. Your Charmian blood is the reason you have such a powerful affinity with your Arcangus."

"Oh," Kushina smiled awkwardly, "I thought it was just because I am pretty kick ass."

"I'm sure that has something to do with it as well." Mito responded wryly.

"HIT ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL SHOVE THAT STICK SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TASTE THE RAINBOW!" Naruto roared.

"Sounds like your grandfather has brought out the training stick." Mito supped her tea calmly as Kushina tried not to snort tea out of her nose as she laughed. That wouldn't have been very refined.

* * *

The remained three days passed quite quickly for Naruto. When he wasn't being trained into the ground by Harashima he was sparring with Kushina. The two spent most of their time together, seeing as the school had been closed due to a 'mysterious' fire. Henso hadn't made a re-appearance but Harashima assured Naruto that Henso would be dealt with as and when he resurfaced. Naruto groaned as he stood up. He was currently sparring against Harashima with Kushina, Tsunade and Mito watching.

"Well… I did what I could," Harashima sighed. "I've taught you all I can."

"Thanks," Naruto bowed his head. "I've really learnt a lot."

"Just remember to practice your hand seals. That was a stroke of genius inventing that divine clone technique." Harashima smirked, "You're not as stupid as I thought."

"Thanks?" Naruto blinked.

"So… What are your plans?" Kushina asked as Harashima walked away to talk to Mito.

"I have to go somewhere," Naruto bowed his head. "I really appreciate the training and the time I spent with you guys but there is something I must do."

"Will…" Kushina bit her lip, "Will I ever see you again?"

"Yeah," Naruto walked up to her and hugged her. "It may not be for a while though but know we will one day meet again."

"I'll…" Kushina sniffled.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll miss you idiot," She hugged him back. "Though when we meet again I might have been married off."

"It doesn't matter," Naruto reassured her. "All that matters is your happiness you hear? You do what you want to do."

"What I want to do?" Kushina bit her lip. "Okay then." She grabbed his head and kissed him with a hunger that Naruto returned. Their mouths opening and their tongues duelling as Naruto's hands started to slowly make their way down her back and…

BANG!

Naruto and Kushina jumped apart.

"Dan…" Tsunade looked over her shoulder.

"It went off by accident," Dan's smile was unnerving, as was the still smoking shotgun in his hands.

"Er… Sorry," Kushina blushed. "I err... Guess ever since that incident with Henso I've been a little… sexually charged."

"It is fine," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Kushina is Kushina right? Pervy or prude… You're still one of my most precious people."

"Naruto…" Kushina clenched her fists. "I will wait for you to come back!"

"Kushina," Naruto kissed her softly on the head. "Don't do that. It could be years before we meet again. Live your life, don't put it on hold for my sake."

"Let's have a party!" Harashima declared. "A great big feast. You can always leave tomorrow right?"

"Well I guess…" Naruto agreed.

"Excellent! Let the party begin!"

If there was one thing that Harashima was good at, it was throwing a party. Before Naruto had time to sit down most of the school was in the café chatting noisily and in a small corner some people were even dancing. Naruto sat back as he spotted the future parents of his precious people all interact with each other. He recognised Saibai who was chatting animatedly to a blushing Ringo, who looked somewhat plumper than her future self.

"They're dating you know?" Kushina realised where Naruto was looking, "Apparently Sasami, that's his old girlfriend, had a heart to heart with him and they decided it just wasn't working out."

"Heh," Naruto smirked. _'Does that mean I am responsible for Mikan and Rito being born? Yeah I'm awesome.' _

"It must be nice," She looked at the sky. "To have a boyfriend."

"Oh?" Naruto tilted his head, "I find it hard to believe you have never been in a relationship."

"Training has always been a big deal for me," She rubbed her arms, "And like I said, most men don't find powerful women attractive."

"Well most men are idiots," Naruto smiled at her. "You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"N-Naruto," Kushina started twirling her hair around a finger as she stared off into space.

"Right," Naruto smiled as he looked around the café. "Tomorrows a big day for me so I'm going to hit the hay."

"Right," Kushina watched him go.

"Hey Shina-chan," Ringo walked up to her friend. "Who was that?"

"Oh that's Naruto." Kushina smiled.

"Oh you like him?" Ringo smiled. "Why don't you follow him?"

"Huh?"

"Get some alone time with him," Ringo looked around, "I mean you are supposed to leave here shortly right?"

"Yeah," Kushina looked glum.

"Then make some memories," Ringo elbowed her friend.

"You think I should go after him?" Kushina frowned.

"Of course!" Saibai joined the conversation. "That's like Romance Manga 101!"

"Really?" Ringo smiled at Saibai who laughed awkwardly. "You are such a nerd."

"And you know you love me," Saibai smirked.

"Well… if you think that is what he wants…" Kushina smiled softly as she ran after Naruto.

"I've never seen her so... feminine." Saibai smiled.

"Love does strange things," Ringo shrugged, "At least she isn't crushing on that creep Henso anymore."

"Never liked that guy," Saibai replied automatically.

"Are you saying that because I'm your girlfriend and you automatically have to agree with me or did you genuinely not like him?"

"He gave me detention for no reason." Saibai shrugged, "Plus you hate him so that sealed the deal."

"Thank you," She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "You are learning quickly." She chuckled.

* * *

Kushina knocked on Naruto's door and peered inside.

"Sleeping already?" She smiled softly as she walked into the bedroom. "Why…" She put a hand on her heart, "Why is my heart beating so hard." She leaned over Naruto who was sleeping. "Why do I want you to touch me so bad? Am… Am I ill in the head?" She crouched down beside his bed and grabbed his hand. "Your hands are so rough…" She put his palm against her face. "But I feel so safe." She closed her eyes.

"I'm glad," Naruto smiled.

"Ah!" Kushina squeaked and fell over. "You're awake?"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "Can I help you?"

"Er…" Kushina blushed deeply. "Well I…"

Naruto budged across his bed and patted next to him.

"Right," Kushina laid down beside him and the two stared at the ceiling. "This is weird."

"Huh?"

"I've only known you for a few days yet somehow… it feels deeper than that."

"Heh," Naruto closed his eyes, "Someone dear to me once told me that some bonds transcend space and time."

"Really?" Kushina turned to look at Naruto, "So we knew each other in a past life or something?"

"Or something," Naruto smiled.

"Heh," Kushina snuggled into Naruto. "Destined soul mates," She mumbled, "I like the sound of that."

"Yeah," Naruto ran his fingers through her hair. "I love your hair."

"Really?" Kushina's face almost matched her hair. "I never really liked it."

"Oh?" Naruto chuckled. "I always liked it."

"Always?" Kushina raised an eyebrow. "You say that is if you've known me for a while."

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." Naruto sighed.

"I would," Kushina grabbed his hand.

"I'm a time traveller," Naruto admitted. "I know you in the future."

"Really?" Kushina stared at the ceiling, "Are we… an item in the future?"

"Kind of," Naruto laughed. "It's… complicated."

"Complicated?" Kushina frowned, "That doesn't sound good."

"It's not a bad complicated," Naruto reassured her. "It's just... different. My life is not exactly normal."

"I have an angel sealed inside of me," Kushina deadpanned.

"I have an angel and a demon sealed in me and the emperor of the universe will destroy Earth if I don't marry his daughters and…"

"Daughters?"

"Yeah." Naruto chuckled. "The Eldest daughter is Lala, she has two sisters who are twins that are called Momo and Nana. Oh and I kind of got tricked into marrying one of my friends and I am kind of dating another one. Not to mention you are kind of my legal guardian."

"…Complicated is right." Kushina blinked. "The emperor of the universe?"

"Gid Lucione Deviluke," Naruto nodded. "He's a jack ass."

"When Henso told you to work for him he mentioned a Gid."

"Yeah at the moment he is only a prince that has rebelled against his father." Naruto nodded.

"So he wins?"

"Unless I've drastically changed history." Naruto nodded.

"Well that's good right?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "I guess that if I threatened the current emperor he'd straight up destroy the planet."

"You threatened this Gid person?"

"Yeah he was trying to sell off his daughters until I basically told him what I thought of that idea." Naruto chuckled. "And now he occasionally shows up to antagonise me when he isn't sending assassins after me."

"Oh," Kushina blinked. "That's a lot to take in."

"Yeah."

"So I'm your legal guardian?" Kushina blinked. "Do we… engage in incestuous role-play scenarios? Because maybe it's the lingering corruption from whatever Henso did to me but I find that incredibly hot."

"Maybe it's just the corruption I drew out of you but… I kind of do too."

"Oh?" Kushina smiled as she rolled on top of Naruto, crawling up to his face. "Well I'm kind of the same age as you right now. How about a bit of brother-sister role-play?"

"Well…" Naruto stroked her face, "You do know that after tonight you won't meet me for some time."

"Well…" Kushina smiled. "I'll still have the memories of tonight to keep me going." She walked over to a set of drawers and put a camcorder on it. "And maybe even a little video to make those lonely nights not seem so lonely." She walked towards him smiling coyly.

"Kushina…" Naruto smiled. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life." Kushina whispered as she climbed on top of him and began removing his shirt.

* * *

**LEMON SCENE WILL BE RELEASED ON A SEPARATE SITE/STORY DUE TO COMPLAINTS RECEIVED. SORRY **

* * *

Naruto groaned as he woke up. He smiled seeing Kushina lying next to him mumbling in her sleep. He kissed her softly on the head before getting out of the bed and getting dressed.

"Leaving?" Kushina pushed herself up, her long red hair falling across her breasts.

"Yeah," Naruto paused as if drinking in the sight.

"So… we will definitely meet again?" She asked.

"Yes," He nodded. "I promise." He kissed her softly.

"Well…" Kushina wrapped the duvet around herself like a toga and walked over to the small camcorder. "I'll just have to keep my memory of this time together fresh." She picked it up with a smile.

"I wonder… if you still have that video in the future." Naruto paused.

"I'm hoping I don't need it in the future."

"I'll see what I can do," Naruto smiled as he left the bedroom.

After a quick breakfast he made his way to the burnt ruins of the school. "Nothing here that can be damaged." He summoned a Tenshi clone before dismissing his Arcangus energy and summoning an Akuma clone.

"Master," Tenshi bowed his head.

"So…" Akuma cleared his throat. "Ready when you are."

"Wait!"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to see Mito and Harashima running towards him.

"Show me the device," Mito ordered.

"Er…"

"I know you are from the future," Harashima nodded.

"Okay…" Naruto revealed the time travel device.

"I see…" Mito looked at the device, "The labels are written in High Devilukian. Whoever made this was both smart and a noble of some sort. If I do this…" She showed the device to Naruto. "This should now send you forward in time. Unfortunately how far you go through time is determined by how much power you put into the device but you shouldn't be able to travel further than the time the device was initially used."

"How do you know that?"

"Because there was an instruction manual in the back of the device," Mito showed the pamphlet to Naruto.

"…Oh…" Naruto laughed weakly as she handed the device back. "Well are you two ready?"

"Ready!" The two clones nodded.

"Naruto," Harashima smiled. "You better look after Shina-chan in the future."

"I will. Please keep her safe."

"Of course!" Harashima laughed.

"Right then." He looked at the two clones. "Do it."

"Ultimate Clone Attack: High Five of Death!" Akuma yelled as the two clones hi-fived resulting in an amazing explosion.

Naruto watched as the blue and red energy surged towards him and struck him at the same time. His body was surrounded by a corrosive purple energy that made Naruto roar in pain. The energy started to creep into the device and the last thing Naruto saw before blacking out was the worried faces of Harashima and Mito and the tear stained face of Kushina.

* * *

"Vessel! Get up Vessel damn it!" 42 shook Naruto violently.

"It's Hagoromo." Naruto voice sighed as he opened his eyes. The forest was on fire and there were several dead devilukian soldiers around him. "What happened?"

"Looks like the Queen bitch was expecting us," 42 looked around. "Sound off you sons of bitches!"

A small group of twelve devilukians roared.

"She thinks an attack like that is going to phase us? This bitch doesn't know who she is messing with!" 42 barked. "When we catch up with that overgrown bunny let's give her a proper devilukian greeting!"

The devilukians roared in approval.

"Come on," 42 jerked his head, "Let's get you to the ritual site."

Naruto fell into line with the marching devilukians, stood beside 42 in the line.

"So how old are you?" Naruto asked.

"Six weeks," 42 declared. "I've survived twenty missions."

"Six weeks? That's practically ancient by devilukian standards."

"I know," 42 jerked his head, "Six of these are fresh out of the vats. Most of those who got killed were first timers. 16 here is two weeks old."

"Hoping to outlive you sir!" A female devilukian declared.

"In your dreams 16!" 42 laughed.

The small group of devilukian came across a group of blank eyed men and woman. They were all wearing white robes and had long blonde hair.

"Ah crap, blanks." 42 sneered.

"Blanks?"

"Arcangus soldiers," 16 sighed. "Emotionless constructs created to fight. Damus created us so the Arcangus developed them. However we are awesome and they are blank sheets of paper. We can think for ourselves, they can't."

Naruto shivered as he felt the blank stares of the other group following him.

* * *

A tall figure floated down from the sky on six silvery wings, landing gently in front of the blanks before she scanned the devilukian contingency with her heterochromatic eyes, one blue and one green. She was wearing a chain tabard that was emblazoned with a crest of an opened hand. "So this is the Vessel?"

"My name is…"

"Hagoromo," The angelic figure nodded. "Sister Michaela informed me of your name. My name is Raphael El Glorifico."

"It is an honour to be in the presence of one of the seven equals," Naruto bowed his head.

"**Oh don't go talking to her like that. It'll go to her head." **

"Asmodea. You did not accompany the soldiers?" Raphael turned to face the new arrival. There was very little difference between her Loli form and her true adult form. Both were completely flat chested for a start. In fact the only difference was that her true form must have been nearly seven foot tall and carried an exotic looking pipe.

"**I could but Belial-chan was so eager to help out her big sister… Where is she by the way?" **

"Great one," 42 bowed his head, "She was with the fleet in space and ordered us to go ahead."

"**So I have to get my hands dirty then? Such a drag." **Asmodea sighed. **"Remind me why we have to clean up your mess?" **

"It is _our _mess." Raphael corrected.

"**Well actually it was the she bitch Michaela and Lucione who went and…" **

"You will address Michaela-neesama with respect!"

"INCOMING!" 16 warned.

"**Damn it!" **Asmodea and Raphael tried to create a shield of pure energy at the same time, the two shields hit each other before exploding and sending everyone scattering.

* * *

"What…" Naruto groaned as he got up. "Okay… There was that dream again." He stood up and brushed himself off. "And now I'm in a forest. Great." He glanced at the clock. "So where the hell am I?" Looking around he saw smoke on the horizon. "I guess I head towards civilisation." He muttered and set off at a brisk walk. "Next time Lala makes one of these I'm asking her to put some sort of date and time on it. It would make everything so much easier." He walked up to the house. "This looks familiar…Hello?" He knocked on the door.

"Who is it? A familiar voice called out and the door opened.

"Kushina?" Naruto blinked.

"N-Naruto!" Kushina laughed and embraced him. "You came back. You haven't aged a day." She hit him around the head with a pan.

"What the hell?!"

"That's for making me worried when you left," Kushina threw the pan to one side. "We… We were afraid something went wrong when you cried out in pain like that."

"Sorry. I see you're looking good and," Naruto looked down. "Pregnant."

"Ah…" Kushina put a hand on her baby bulge. "Yes… Didn't you know?"

"I… vaguely remember you being pregnant in the memory about," His eyes widened. "Wait… What day is it today?"

"It's Minato's little boy's birthday," Kushina paused. "Minato is the man I was to marry… I never had sex with him! I only ever thought of you. This child was artificially…" Naruto silenced her with a kiss.

"I know," He smiled. "I know. Wait you said it was my birthday?"

"You're… You are Minato's son?" Kushina blinked. "I lost my virginity to my husband's son years before he was born." She smiled at him, "We need a better word than complicated."

"Tell me about it," Naruto sighed, "Is it… my sixth?"

"Yeah," Kushina nodded.

"We need to get out of this house!" Naruto dragged Kushina out of the door just as the house exploded behind them sending Naruto and Kushina flying through the air.

"Damn it," Naruto grabbed her and used his body to cushion her fall.

"What… What the hell?" Kushina got to her feet.

"So you survived, just as well really."

"Henso?!" Naruto blinked. "Are you kidding me?"

"And this time I will not fail!" Henso laughed manically.

"Wait the war is over!" Naruto scowled. "Why are you still trying to fight?"

"Sukuma-sama legacy will never die!" Henso declared. "Gid will be overthrown! And that child will be the weapon that secures our victory!"

"So…" Naruto's hair covered his eyes. "You are the reason dad dies. You are the one who attacked…"

"Minato dies?" Kushina blinked.

"Not if I can help it!" Naruto roared. "Shoten!" He roared as he called upon his Arcangus aura. "I'm stopping your plans here and now Henso. Kaze Yari!" His hands blurred through several hand seals and he exhaled sharply into one of the five orbs hovering around him turning it into pure wind energy before launching it as a spear of wind. The attack screamed straight towards Henso, striking him square in the chest.

"What?" Henso was forced backwards by the technique, the cutting nature of the technique leaving him with a deep, bleeding wound. "I refuse to be bested by some low life form! Satsujin no Yari!"

"Henko Tsubasa! (A/N: Deflection Wing)" Naruto's right arm gained a glowing white shield at the expense of another orb, easily repelling Henso attack back at him, sending him sprawling backwards.

"Wow…" Kushina blinked. "What have you been up to since we last met?"

"Er… For me it was literally ten minutes ago," Naruto chuckled.

"Oh," Kushina rubbed the back of her head. "You go kick his ass. I'll just stay here," She put a hand on her stomach. "Best not risk Mito-chan's health."

"Right," Naruto smiled and chased after Henso.

"How…" Henso struggled to his feet. "How are you this powerful? You were nothing the last time we fought!"

"You tried to kill Kushina." Naruto scowled. "Every time we meet you manage to push all of buttons! Setsudan Excalibur (A/N: Cutting Excalibur)!" Naruto grabbed an orb of light, turning it into a glowing white blade. "I'll make sure you can't hurt anyone again!" He charged Henso.

"Satsujin no Yari!" Henso howled as he threw a volley of spears at Naruto, each one deflected by the shield on Naruto's arm.

"It's over!" Naruto roared as he brought his sword down in a vicious slash.

"Fool!" Henso leapt backwards, "Don't you know your own attack range? You missed… what the hell?" A deep cut appeared down his leg. "How… I dodged!"

"Clearly not!" Naruto swung the swung the sword, scoring several cuts across Henso's arms and legs and causing him to fall to the floor.

"Finish me if you want. I served my purpose."

"What does that mean?"

"I was only a distraction."

"No!" Naruto turned away and raced back towards the house, Henso's mocking laughter ringing in his ears. When he arrived he saw Kushina passed out on the floor. Her stomach was bleeding heavily. "No, no!" He ran to her.

"Naruto…" She whispered weakly.

"I'm here," He grabbed her hand. "I can heal you." He grabbed one of the orbs and pushed it against Kushina's flesh, watching as the orb was slowly absorbed into her skin, mending her injuries.

"Mito-chan… they took Mito-chan," Kushina whispered.

"I'm going to find her," Naruto promised. "Who took her?"

"He was too powerful…" Kushina groaned. "I couldn't fight… Never even saw him coming…"

"It's alright," Naruto kissed her on the forehead as she fell into a peaceful sleep. "I'll find him and…"

"**GET AWAY FROM KUSHI-CHAN!" **

"Say what?" Naruto turned around to see a red blur scream towards him and deliver a powerful kick that sent him careering into the ruins of the house. "What? What?!" He blinked stupidly.

"Kushi-chan!" A six year old Naruto crouched over her, "Wake up! What did he do? **WHAT DID YOU DO?!" **An oppressive aura surrounded the younger Naruto, his eyes red and slitted. A small devilukian tail whipped behind him aggressively.

"Listen it wasn't me!" Naruto climbed out of the ruins. "The person responsible is still nearby somewhere."

"**LIES!" **The pintsized berserker charged Naruto who used his shield to try and lessen the damage. The Damus aura caused the shield to explode, sending the younger Naruto skidding backwards.

"Huh," Naruto sighed. "That surprisingly didn't backfire."

"Naruto?!" Two more figures joined the fight.

"Kushina?" Minato ran over to his wife.

"She's alive," Naruto reassured him.

"Where is my daughter?" Minato turned his steely gaze on Naruto before looking confused. "What… Who are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "But can I just say… It's damn good to see you alive dad."

"Dad?" Minato blinked.

"**BASTARD!" **Chibi Naruto roared.

"Naruto!" Kurama barked. "Cease!"

"**But…**" The red aura faded and his eyes turned blue.

"Suicide is the coward's way out," Kurama ran a hand through his hair. "And you aren't a coward are you? You're my brave little warrior right?"

"Er… No…" Chibi Naruto ran to his father's side, looking uncertainly at Kurama, who showed a flash of pain at her son's reaction but quickly recovered her composure.

"How is this possible?" Minato asked the future Naruto.

"Time travel," Naruto showed the device to Minato.

"Why are you here?" Minato paused. "Did you come to save Kushina?"

"Unintentionally," Naruto put the device away. "It isn't a very reliable device. I well… It would take too long to explain."

"I see," Minato paused. "Well… You look well?" He laughed weakly.

"Thanks," Naruto laughed awkwardly.

"You said it was good to see me alive," Minato frowned, "But you don't look that old."

"Right!" Naruto nodded, "You die at some point today!"

"Like hell he will," Kurama growled.

"Kurama-chan," Minato smiled. "You still care."

"Er…" Kurama looked embarrassed. "I told you I would kill you right?" She looked away. "I don't want anyone taking my prey."

"Right, right," Minato laughed.

"Kurama…" Naruto gulped. "I mean…"

"Yes?" Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you."

"Eh?" Kurama looked confused.

"I know… I know the price you paid for my safety."

"…Idiot boy," Kurama looked away. "I don't need your thanks." She looked at him softly, "Just the fact you have grown into such a powerful young man is enough."

"I know we don't really know each other that well but… I hope that I can change that." Naruto clenched his fists.

"You are a warrior," Kurama mumbled. "Don't be so sentimental."

"Just hug him damn it," Minato laughed.

"Dad?" Naruto turned to ask his old man what he meant when all of a sudden Kurama was in front of him, holding him in a bone crushing hug.

"My brave warrior," She whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "I…"

"I love you too mother," Naruto responded causing Kurama's shoulders to start to shake.

"Are you crying?" Minato asked.

"Am not!" An obviously crying Kurama declared. "I'm not happy that my son forgave me!"

"How sickeningly sweat." A deep voice grunted.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto and Kurama broke apart. A cloaked figure stood watching them, a bundle in his arms that they could see held a baby and in the other a strange staff that seemed to emit Damus energy.

"Kurama," He shook his head, "And to think I actually had hopes for you."

"You!" Kurama growled. "I will end you!" She erupted in a strange purple aura.

"Purple?" Naruto blinked. "And who is he?" Naruto and Minato called on their Arcangus Auras.

"Mine is the Crest of Raphael!" Minato called out, being enveloped in a blue light. When it cleared he was wearing a ghostly blue chain tabard with a crest of an open hand with six wings spreading out from his back. "And you came to wrong planet. Unhand my daughter now!"

"You think I came unprepared?" The cloaked figure slammed the Damus staff into the ground causing a red shockwave to surge outwards. When it struck Minato and Naruto, their auras flickered and failed.

"My aura?" Minato blinked as it failed.

"What the…" Naruto scowled. "My Damus aura seems unaffected." He conjured the primal aura.

"Oh no! Kurama… Kurama!"

"What?" Naruto turned to see his mother on her knees. "Is she alright? Oh… the artefact!"

"That's right," The cloaked figure laughed. "Without the Arcangus artefact inside her working she is little more than a berserker. We will not meet again."

"You bastard!" Minato yelled as the cloaked figure vanished in a flicker of light.

"What do we do?" Naruto asked.

"Without my aura I'm useless. I'll take Naruto away from here. Well the young one. Can you fight your mother?"

"…Probably not but I'm the only one who might last longer than ten seconds." Naruto gritted his teeth. "Shoten! Akuma Juden!" He launched himself at Kurama who stopped him with one hand. "Oh… this is going to end badly."

Two glowing red slitted eyes looked up at him.

"Yeah…" Naruto sighed. "Akuma Yari!" The point blank energy blast didn't even phase the growling Kurama. "Akuma Danmaku!" Her head jerked at the small barrage of blasts.

"**GRRRRRR." **

"Well… damn." Naruto was thrown by Kurama, crashing through several trees before regaining his footing just in time to see Kurama launch a red sphere at him with a loud roar. "Not Good! Kawarimi!" Even avoiding the main attack the explosion still cleared a significant area of forest. "So… any suggestions Asmodea?"

'_**Er… Well… Give me a minute.' **_

"I don't have a minute!" Naruto cried out as Kurama grabbed his leg and slammed him into the floor before throwing him to one side. "Akuma Bunshin!" Akuma managed to distract Kurama long enough for Naruto to escape her grasp.

"Oh nononono!" Akuma ran away as Kurama started chasing him.

'_**You could use that Shoten X2 attack again.' **_

'_If that failed to kill Henso do you really think it will even phase Kurama?' _

'_**Probably not. How about seducing her?'**_

'_I really need to awaken the Arcangus Loli.' _

'_**We are not Lolis damn it! And I was serious. Berserkers are primal creatures. Right now she sees you as a threat. If she sees you as a mate she will stop trying to kill you!' **_

'_She's my mother!' _

'_**And? Would you rather die?'**_

Naruto rolled under a vicious slash that cut through a tree like tissue paper. "How do I seduce a berserker?"

"Dance sexily!" Akuma yelled from the top of the tree he was hiding in.

'_**Er… Dance sexily?' **_Asmodea responded at the exact same time as the clone.

"I am not taking your advice ever again," Naruto deadpanned. "Akuma Danmaku!" He launched a barrage of shots at the floor to kick up some smoke to use as cover.

'_**You know she can sense where you are so you are actually helping her by blinding yourself?'**_

"Damn it!" Naruto cried out in pain as a fierce punch hit him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him as well as creating another long crater as he crashed through the undergrowth. "That artefact shouldn't last forever right? I should regain my Arcangus aura shortly right?"

'_**Even after it wears off you would need to use your Arcangus aura to reactivate the artefact inside of Kurama.' **_

'_I don't understand… With her power she should have easily killed me by now. She's… oh I get it! She's like a cat! She is playing with her prey! Maybe if I stop being fun she will stop attacking me!' _

'_**And just kill you?'**_

'_You got a better idea?' _

'…_**Seduce her?'**_

"_Didn't think so." _

'_**Bully.' **_

"Today is not going my way," Naruto spat blood and got to his feet watching as Kurama slowly advanced, growling menacingly. "You know what? Fine. Go ahead!" He dropped his guard causing Kurama to pause. "You want to kill me? Well here I am?"

Kurama looked confused and didn't react as Naruto walked towards her.

"What? Is it no fun if I don't fight back?" Naruto wiped the blood from his busted lip.

Kurama tilted her head and growled uncertainly.

"Well? What are you going to do now?"

"Got your tail!" Akuma declared as he grabbed Kurama's tail causing her to purr and fall in a boneless heap.

"… Thanks," Naruto nodded at his clone.

"It's what I do boss," He glanced at Kurama. "So… shall I just keep a hold of her then?"

They both looked at the purring Kurama.

"I guess," Naruto rubbed his head. "At least I can reactivate her artefact."

"Boss," The clone rubbed his chin, "I was just thinking… If Kurama can control Naruto… That is the Chibi you, what's to stop him going berserk. I mean didn't Momo mention that Berserkers are herd beings and a powerful berserker can influence lesser ones."

"Oh god…" Naruto paled. "Dad!" He raced through the forest.

"Okay. Good chat," Akuma froze as Kurama started to grind against his leg. "Yeah… The one advantage of being a clone is I can always dispel and then I don't have to remember this." Kurama started to undress slowly whilst purring. "Oh… the boss is really going to be messed up by this." Akuma shivered and tried to ignore the strong smell of Kurama's excitement. "This is so wrong."

'_**Is it so wrong that it has gone full circle and become right?' **_

"Huh?" Akuma looked around. "I didn't know that you could talk to me. I thought it was only the boss you could talk to."

'_**I'm that good.' **_Asmodea replied smugly.

"And to answer your question, this will never be right." Akuma shivered. "Oh gods she is sucking on my fingers! Happy place Akuma, happy place."

* * *

"Naruto please stop!" Minato jumped backwards as the berserk 6 year old hissed. While dodging his attacks was difficult Minato was quietly confident in his ability to hold out until his aura recovered

"Dad!" Future Naruto yelled distracting Minato for only the smallest instant, but it was enough.

The pint sized terror lunged at Minato, his aura shaped like claws and tearing straight through Minato's chest.

"No… NO!" Naruto ran towards his wounded father.

"D…Dad?" Chibi Naruto blinked as his father's blood splashed on his face, washing away the madness of the berserker rage. "DAD!" He pulled his hand out of his father's chest tears in his eyes. "I… I didn't… I…" Tears streamed down the boy's face.

"It wasn't your fault," Minato smiled weakly.

"I can heal this," Naruto pushed his smaller version aside. "I…"

"You're Arcangus spirit is still sealed." Minato looked at Naruto proudly. "You… you are strong to have been able to overcome Kurama. I'm proud of you my boy." He coughed up some blood.

"I… there has to be something I can do." Naruto tried to stem the bleeding.

"Heh," Minato shook his head. "This isn't your fault." He repeated sleepily.

"Stay with me dad," Naruto cursed. "ANYBODY! PLEASE HELP! CHARMIANS! DEVILUKIANS! ANYBODY!"

"Come here…" Minato beckoned to the six year old Naruto.

"I'm sorry," He cried, "I didn't mean… I…"

"Hush there," Minato ruffled his hair. "You weren't in control." He placed his right hand on Chibi Naruto's. "I don't have long but know I love you so very much. This power…" The crest on his hand started to fade, "Will protect you. Stay strong my son."

"Dad," Chibi Naruto wept openly.

"And for you," Minato placed his right hand on Naruto's. "The rest of the power within me. I sensed it wasn't quite complete."

"Dad…" Naruto shook his head, "This isn't… I trained and trained. Why? Why is it never enough?!"

"That's life," Minato chuckled before coughing up more blood. "You cannot save everyone."

"Damn it all to hell," Naruto felt the tears stinging in his eyes. "I… There has to be something I can do."

"Don't blame yourself… that is a dark path…" Minato whispered faintly. "Look after Kushina-chan and Kurama. They need you my son." Minato's eyes closed never to open.

"Dad… Dad? DAD!" Naruto punched the ground, "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" He allowed the tears to fall. "My aura's back… I can still do something!" He conjured his aura and healed Minato's wounds. "Come on Dad!"

'_He is at peace.' _ A soft calming voice sounded inside his head. _'He has already passed. I am sorry.' _

'_**Oh great. You're here.' **_Asmodea sighed.

'_Asmodea.'_

'_**Raphael.' **_

"Just shut up," Naruto whispered.

'_Sorry.' _

"I did this…" Chibi Naruto just stared off into space. There was no life behind his eyes.

"Damn it," Naruto whispered softly and made his way back to Kurama, "If I'd have recovered a few seconds earlier I could have saved him…" He walked back to Kurama and pushed one of his orbs of light into her causing her the red glow to fade from her eyes.

"Er…" Kurama quickly dressed herself. "I… sorry about that. That wasn't very motherly."

"Can I dispel now?" Akuma asked. "I've seen things…"

"Sure," Naruto replied in an empty tone.

"Boss?"

"I failed." Naruto sat down. "I couldn't save him."

"Oh," Akuma looked down. "Sorry boss."

"Minato's dead?" Kurama sat down beside Naruto. "This… This is my fault." She closed her eyes. "If I wasn't here…"

"Then he would have died anyway," Akuma cut in. "That guy was determined to see you all dead and he could supress Minato's powers. Who was he?"

"He…" Kurama closed her eyes. "He was one of the people who made me what I am. He was one of the scientists in charge of the Omega Project. Do you know about that?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "And now he has Mito…" He stood up. "But not for long. I will hunt him down and kill him." He clenched his fists. "Maybe that Henso has a few answers for me!"

Naruto raced towards where he had left the noble but found no one.

"He probably escaped when we were gone." Akuma pointed out, "Seriously the Charmian Guards on this planet suck majorly."

"I should have tied him up," Naruto cursed.

"Not wishing to point out the obvious but don't you have a time travelling machine?" Akuma reminded him.

"Yes…" Naruto pulled the device out with a smile. "I can still save Dad!"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that 3!" The ever irritating voice of Fu cut through the solemn atmosphere. She was not alone. A woman wearing an elegant looking dress with a veil hiding her face was accompanying her.

"Choumei," Kurama turned to face the newcomers. "Sephie."

"It has been too long," Sephie smiled softly. "I am sorry about your husband."

"Are you here for me?" Kurama stood up. "Leave my son out of this."

"About that," Fu held up Chibi Naruto by the scruff of his neck. "This little feller isn't doing too well. His brain is shutting down."

"What?" Kurama growled, "What did you do?!"

"Nothing!" Fu handed Naruto over to Kurama. "He was like that when I found him!"

"What do you mean you can't let me try and save my father?" Naruto scowled at Fu.

"Well," Fu cleared out her ear, "The thing is… Time Travel is a forbidden technology. I have to destroy that machine."

"I won't let you Fu!" Naruto scowled.

"Fu?" Fu looked confused. "Fu… Fu…" She nodded. "That's a cute name! Sephie~ I am now Fu-chan! It is far cuter than Choumei!"

"That's nice," Sephie smiled softly. "Let me have a look at you." She placed a hand under Naruto's chin and raised his face. "Oh! It's you Naruto."

"Have we met?"

"I guess not yet." She smiled. "You may keep that device."

"But… Gid-sama said…" Fu looked confused.

"But these are special circumstances."

"Okay? :$." Fu tilted her head with a confused expression.

"We are not here to kill you or your son." Sephie smiled. "We are here to help you. I… I believe I have discovered a way for you to remain in control but I need you to accompany me to the secret labs. We have been searching for you for some time. I only wish that we had noticed that there were others who were active on Earth. We could have saved the human."

"Fine," Kurama's shoulders dropped. "I… As I am it is too dangerous for me to be around anyone. If you can cure me then…"

"Wait!" Naruto pleaded, "Little Naruto needs you right now."

"I don't think so," She hugged her son. "In my absence you have become a great warrior. This… This isn't goodbye. We will meet again when the time is right." She kissed him on the forehead. "I am proud of you, my not so little warrior."

"Mom." He turned to Sephie, "Please cure her as quickly as possible."

"I promise you I will try my best." Sephie smiled.

"Let's go already!" Fu announced.

"Wait!" Naruto grabbed Fu and looked into her eyes.

"Kyaa 3!" Fu blushed, "Looking at Fu-chan so intensely… Do you want to ask Fu-chan out?"

"Not really," Naruto blinked. "I… I have a favour to ask. Can you… Can you seal away the young Naruto's memories of this event?"

"Hmm," Fu nodded, "Yup, Yup."

"Would it stop his brain shutting down?"

"I think so."

"Please Choumei… Save my son." Kurama bowed her head.

"Well if Kurama-lama-ding-dong says so…" Fu walked over to the boy and picked him up and walked away with him. "There was another live human, I'll put some seals on her memories as well to stop any potential complications. I'll give Naruto the full works," She grinned at future Naruto. "Seeing as the end result is really something special 3." She placed a hand on his chest and suddenly jumped as if hit by static electricity.

"…" Naruto chose not to react. "I guess I should head back to my time and plan. I know what happens now." He clenched his fists before dismissing Akuma. "Oh gods…" He looked at Kurama horrified.

"It wasn't my fault!" Kurama looked awkward. "Let's just… pretend that never happened."

"Agreed," Naruto shivered. "Now time to…"

"Mother." A small voice interrupted Naruto.

"Lala-chan," Sephie turned, "I asked you to stay on the ship."

"Lala?" Naruto felt as if he had been punched by Kurama again. Lala to him was happy, she was smart and lively. She was warm and caring. This six year old exuded nothing but misery and despair.

"Do I know you?" Dead eyes stared at him, wounding him worse than any physical attacks.

"No…" Naruto smiled as he crouched down to draw himself to her eye level. "Are you okay?"

"I am alive."

"That's not what I was asking. Are you happy?"

"I am going to be married off to someone I don't know whose only qualification is strength." Lala scowled.

"That's heavy," Naruto nodded. "And something of a recurring issue here. Starting to wonder about that." He searched his pockets and found the necklace future Lala had given him. "Here… take this."

"Why?" Lala frowned.

"It is my lucky charm and my promise."

"Promise?"

"Yes my promise to you. Don't worry about these suitors of yours. Live your life how you want to. Have fun and raise hell."

"But I am a princess…"

"So what? You like building things right?"

"Yes…"

"Then do it." Naruto smiled at her. "And if anyone tries to stop you… just come to Earth and I'll smack some sense into them."

"R-really?" The young Lala looked confused.

"He beat me," Kurama remarked dryly. '_Technically not at my full strength and by cheating but still…' _

"Wow!" A small glimmer of the Lala Naruto knew shone through. "And… you promise to protect me?"

"Of course," Naruto grinned. "After all what are heroes for?"

"Heroes are real?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded and stood up. "So go and have fun with your sisters."

"How do you know…?" Lala started to ask.

"It's a heroic secret," Naruto winked earning a very Lala-like pout in response. "Live your childhood how you want and if your dad has a problem with that," Naruto cracked his knuckles, "I'll kick his ass!"

Lala started giggling. "What's your name mister?"

"Naruto," Naruto grinned.

"I'm Lala!" She curtsied.

"I'll be seeing you." He waved as Lala blushed and retreated behind her mother. "And you too," He nodded at his mother.

"Till we meet again," Kurama smiled. "I will always love you my brave warrior… even if you are a lolicon."

"I… what?"

"Fu-chan has to agree, you were totally flirting with a six year old!"

"That… I…"

"You are grooming her for the future?" Sephie asked innocently.

"I am not a damn lolicon," He sighed. "Just go already." He walked back towards his father's body.

Sephie watched him walk away with a soft smile. Lala stood beside her mother, holding on to her dress.

"That boy carries a great destiny." Sephie sighed softly as Fu drew seals on the young Naruto.

"Will I see him again mama?" Lala asked.

"Yes, why do you like him?"

"He's kind." Lala mumbled.

"Aw Lala-sama has a crush :D" Fu ruffled her hair. "Sorry but he clearly likes me."

"Does not!" Lala stuck her tongue out.

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Are you going to deal with the young Naruto?" Sephie cut off the argument.

"Of course," She smiled fondly. The instant she had touched future Naruto, the seal on him had transferred all the memories that it had stored after being placed. _'You have an interesting path ahead of you.' _She smiled as she looked at the little boy, _'We are going to have so much fun together! 3' _

"I'm sure you will," Sephie reassured Lala who beamed and walked back into the forest towards the ship.

"Lala-sama!" Zastin sighed, "I was worried you were missing!"

"I'm fine," Lala went to her room and looked around before activating the hidden rune on the necklace that had appeared when she had touched it.

A small video display appeared showing what looked like an older Lala in a lab. She was facing the camera.

"Hello?" The older Lala looked confused. "Is this… Ah! It's working." She put a finger on her lips as if to say to be quiet then started working on something in the lab.

"Lala?" Naruto entered the lab, "Oh are you busy?"

"Nope," Lala stopped working, "What is it?"

"I just wanted to talk to you," Naruto sat down next to her.

"What about?"

"Things," Naruto smiled at her. "You know… I… Man this is difficult. I might not be able to keep my promise."

"What is it?"

"I… You know what I promised you?"

"To love me forever?" Lala hugged him.

"Not that." Naruto kissed her gently, "I will always keep that promise."

"To marry me?"

"Second verse same as the first." He laughed.

"To let me name your attack names?"

"That's the one," He sighed. "As much as I love you yelling out Love-Love cannon attack is a little…"

"Well… How about I name our children?" Lala asked.

"…What names were you thinking of?"

Young Lala watched the rest of the small conversation in awe. It was just a nice little conversation that two young lovers might have. But to Lala it meant one thing: she would have a happy future! She grinned widely and started to disassemble the hidden computer in the necklace.

She couldn't wait.

* * *

Naruto approached the body of his father and sat down beside him.

"Sorry Dad," He felt the tears in his eyes. "I wasn't strong enough."

'_You were able to hold off your mother. That was more than I could have achieved.' _

"Dad?" Naruto looked around. "Are you…" He frowned and closed his eyes, awakening in the blank white space.

"Welcome master," A loli Raphael stood waiting for him. She bowed, "I eagerly anticipate your orders."

"**Ooh... Master sounds kinky!" **Asmodea smirked until Raphael hit her over the head and then the two lolis started fighting.

"So this is a Damus?" Minato Namikaze smiled.

"Dad?"

"Hey son," Minato smiled at him. "I can't talk for long… The little energy I sent you with Raphael will soon run out. I just want to say," He hugged Naruto. "I am proud of you my son. Do not dwell on my death too much. In 'fixing' the past you can destroy your future. I may have died but know that I am always with you in spirit."

"Dad…" Naruto frowned, "There are so many things that I wanted to talk to you about…"

"There will be a time when we meet again. I hope that when we do meet… you have lived a long full life with plenty of children. There is just one thing I ask of you Naruto."

"Name it."

"Find Mito… Find your sister and protect her."

"Idiot old man," Naruto smiled weakly. "Don't waste your requests on something I was going to do anyway."

"That's my boy," Minato smiled as he faded away. "I love you my son."

"Yeah…" Naruto stared off into space. "I love you too Dad."

As he returned to reality he summoned a Tenshi clone and an Akuma clone and carried his father back to the house, burying him before taking one last look at the site of his greatest failure.

"Let's go home." He nodded to the two clones. "We need to plan." And with that the two clones dispelled and Naruto blacked out.

* * *

"Urgh," Naruto blinked and found himself back in Lala's lab.

"Welcome home," Lala beamed at him.

"Hey," Naruto smiled softly. "I… I failed to save my Dad."

"I guessed," Lala took the time machine. "But there will always be another chance. Looks like this needs a bit of work on it though." She pouted. "Until you learn to control the energy that you need to use this I would advise no more time travelling. This thing is on its last legs and if it gets damaged while you are in the past I would lose you and… I really don't want to lose you."

"Right," Naruto squeezed her hand.

"But on the bright side I thought of a hundred and one improvements I could make!" Lala leaned into him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me the necklace," She kissed him softly.

"You're so very welcome." Naruto walked out of the lab with his arm around Lala.

"I'm so sorry!" Mikan bowed her head, "I didn't…" She was cut off by Naruto picking her up in a bear hug. "N-Naruto?!"

"I missed you." He turned to Nana and Momo, "You two as well." He hugged the twins.

"If you really missed me…" Momo purred. "I know a good way you can show me."

"Let go you perverted beast!" Nana blushed as she was dropped. "You were only gone for ten minutes!"

"Ten minutes?" Naruto smiled. "Well that was the longest ten minutes of my life."

"Oh welcome back," Kushina walked into the room carrying a camcorder. "Had fun?"

"A little," Naruto frowned, "But I need to train more. Hey Dad…" He walked over to the small floating shrine in the corner of the room. "Next time…. Next time I'll save you!" He clenched his fists.

"Because next time you won't be alone." Kushina crouched down next to him.

"Right," Naruto nodded.

"And once we've saved him and Mito," Kushina held up a camcorder. "I believe you and I have a sequel to make."

"… Kushina," Naruto smiled. "Never change."

"Wouldn't even if I knew how," Kushina hugged Naruto.

"Yeah," Naruto smiled as he sunk into her hug. "Wait you remember Mito?"

"I've had… dreams." She sighed. "I vaguely remember being pregnant."

"I will get her back, her and dad." Naruto vowed. "Even if I have to become a god and re-write reality."

"Could you do me a favour and re-write yourself to be more sexually active?"

"We'll see." Naruto smiled. "We'll see."

* * *

_Extra Info_

**Attack Name: **Kosho-Kikko  
**Power Level: **15  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Basic Fire Manipulation  
**Translation: **Pepper Kick  
**Description  
**Kushina uses her Arcangus aura and imbues it with fire before channelling it to her feet and unleashing the energy in an explosive kick.

**Attack Name: **Tsuin Kosha Surasshu  
**Power Level: **50  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Intermediate Fire Manipulation  
**Translation: **Twin Pepper Slash  
**Description**  
Kushina converts her Arcangus aura into fire and covers her swords in the resultant flames. By swinging her swords she launches the fire at the target where it continues along its path leaving a fiery trail until the attack collides with a target causing it to detonate furiously.

**Attack Name:** Shoten X2  
**Power Level:** 2 X Users Shoten Power level (x4 Base Power)  
**Alignment: **Human Only – Transformation  
**Translation:** Ascension Times 2  
**Description  
**Naruto compresses his energy even more to allow him to use more energy at one time than is usually possible for a human. While this temporarily increases his power level, the effect is only temporarily and quickly drains his energy. This ability causes significant damage to the user without intense training. Being trained in this ability reduces the crippling damage of using this ability to only slightly worse that standard Shoten.

**Attack Name: **Akuma no Taihou  
**Power Level: ** 100 (Aura) 250 (Shoten) 500 (Shoten X2)  
**Alignment: **Damus Only – Expert Energy Manipulation  
**Translation: **Demon Cannon  
**Description**  
Naruto unleashes all of his stored energy in a single devastating attack. The damage varies depending on what level he is fighting at. After using this attack Naruto is unable to fight using his Damus aura for 1 Day (Aura), 2 Days (Shoten) or 4 days (Shoten X2)

**Attack Name: **Akato-garashi  
**Power Level: ** 150  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Expert Fire Manipulation  
**Translation: **Red Hot Chilli Pepper  
**Description**  
Kushina uses the background energy to create a dense sphere of compressed fire which when fed more power turns into a giant white fireball that reduces most targets to ashes on impact.

**Attack Name: **Kaze Yari  
**Power Level: ** 50  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Basic Wind Manipulation  
**Translation: **Wind Spear  
**Description**  
Naruto uses Arcangus energy to create a spear of wind and launch it at a target. The invisible nature of the attack and the speed of which it moves make it a devastating attack despite its relatively low attack power.

**Attack Name: **Henko Tsubasa  
**Power Level: ** 100  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Intermediate Energy Manipulation  
**Translation: **Deflection Wing  
**Description**  
Naruto creates a shield of pure energy that can reflect enemy attacks. It is also capable of repelling Damus attacks without detonating so long as the attacks are weaker than the shield.

**Attack Name: **Setsudan Excalibur  
**Power Level: ** 75  
**Alignment: **Arcangus Only – Basic Wind Manipulation  
**Translation: **Cutting Excalibur  
**Description**  
Naruto uses Arcangus energy to create a blade of light and surrounds it with wind energy. The wind increases the range beyond what one would expect and allows the sword to make ranged attacks with great effect due to the invisible and fast nature of the attacks.

* * *

Power Levels

Naruto (Trained) – 10  
Naruto (Incomplete Arcangus, Trained) – 45  
Naruto (Incomplete Arcangus, Trained, Shoten) – 90  
Naruto (Damus, Trained – 40)  
Naruto (Damus, Trained, Shoten) -80  
Naruto (Damus, Shoten 2X) – 100  
Kushina Uzumaki (Teen, Arcangus Aura) – 100 }  
Henso Deviluke – 125  
Chibi Naruto (Berserk)- 130  
Minato Namikaze (Adult Arcangus Aura) – 250  
Kurama (Limited) – 300  
Kurama (Berserk) – 400  
Kurama (Imperfect Omega) – 600

* * *

**The Time before….**

**Old Ones: **A general term for the many impossibly powerful creatures that existed before the Great Extinction of the Damus and Arcangus. Most of them were hunted down and killed by the Damus and a few were killed by the Arcangus. The rest died during the Great Extinction event.

**Soul Splicing: **The act of merging small fragments of a soul to items in order to empower them. These shards of souls only reflect a small aspect of the original personality. The Damus Seals and Arcangus crests were created using this but the seals /crests are influenced by their hosts meaning that after all the years of different wielders they are completely different now to their original states.

**Leviathanos: **An Old One. A large serpent (roughly the size of Jupiter when it curled up into a ball) that ate entire galaxies until it decided to start eating Damus controlled worlds (including one that Satalin was sleeping on) and was killed. Asmodea corrupted its diamond hard exterior allowing Lucione and Abados to break inside the creatures and tear it apart from the inside. It took two years for them to find its heart and kill it and another year to find Satalin who had ripped through the creatures stomach and made her way towards the brain. For the next hundred years Leviathanos flesh was a delicacy known for its hallucinogenic properties and became Asmodea's favourite meal, until it was completely used up.

**Damus:** One of the Two Old races. The Damus embodied sins and they appearance was very similar to that of a devil in Earth Lore. All Damus had tails and horns, although the shape and patterns varied from Damus to Damus. They created various other races and were the first to experiment with Soul Splicing, the act of embedding their souls into different items in order to make themselves immortal. They were ruled by the Seven Generals with Lucione being the leader. After the grand extinction the race carried on by latching onto the souls of the Devilukians they had created. Only the Seven generals and a few officers were able to survive this way however. Male Damus were always weaker than the females and rarely achieved positions of power.

**Arcangus: **One of the Two Old Races. The Arcangus embodied virtues although they were a living example of pure good being as dangerous as pure evil. They were very strict and any behaviour that was viewed as unholy was punished with death. The race were actually called the Angus but the seven leaders were known as Arcangus who came from the ruling families. Unlike the Damus, the Arcangus never created their own races but instead 'guided' others towards sentience. While the Damus may have discovered Soul Splicing, the Arcangus were the first to experiment with it on other creatures. The Charmian race were 'advanced' by splicing lesser Angus into their bodies. Humanity was 'advanced' by splicing the Arcangus into monkeys. After the grand extinction only the Seven Arcangus were able to survive, the splicing technique used on the Charmians proved too weak to sustain a full Angus soul and Humanity were modified to be able to hold an Arcangus spirit. Before Michaela's purge, Men and women held equal ranks but Michaela believed all men were too prideful to be left alive in positions of power.

**Name: **Asmodea La Devile  
**Sin: **Lust  
**Alignment:** Damus – One of the Seven Generals  
**Current Bearer: **Naruto Uzumaki / Naruto Asmodea Deviluke  
**Titles:** The Great Corruptor, The Choking Lust  
**Bio:  
**Asmodea was the second oldest of the Seven Generals. Unlike her eldest sister Lucione, Asmodea has little to no interest in conquest or ruling. She lives purely to experience all the pleasures the universe has to offer and actively encourages others to follow her. Her favourite ability is the ability to corrupt flesh and dreams. She would often offer her captives a chance to have their deepest wish granted and then grant it in such a way that it was everything they didn't want. One such example was granting immortality by turning people into slimes that live forever but have no senses and don't really live they simply exist. The planets under her control were usually criminal havens, where prostitution and drug abuse run rampant. Restraint was a strange foreign word that didn't mean anything to those who found themselves under her rule. As such she found herself at odds with the Arcangus Gabriella (Who stood for purity and chastity) and the two developed a deep hatred of each other.

**Name: **Satalin La Devile  
**Sin: **Wrath  
**Alignment: **Damus- One of the Seven Generals  
**Current Bearer: **Lala Satalin Deviluke  
**Titles: **The Eternal Wrath, The Unquenchable Rage  
**Bio:  
**Satalin was the youngest of the seven generals yet the second strongest in pure combat capability. Like her eldest sister Lucione, Satalin loved battle and triumphing over her foes. No slight would ever be forgiven however, whether it was an ally or enemy that was responsible. Satalin had control over fire and magma, which she used to fashion great molten fortresses in which she ran vicious arenas. On her worlds only strength mattered and weakness was to be stamped out. If you couldn't defend yourself then you either died or served someone who could. Despite this there was a strange sense of honour on her worlds, you didn't kill anyone weaker than you unless they slighted you in some way. You followed your superior's orders and the strong were respected and rewarded whilst the weak were given chances to prove themselves. Her love of war put her at odds with the Arcangus Zael (Who stood for forgiveness and compassion).

**Name: **Michaela El Anglicus  
**Element: **Life  
**Current Bearer: **Unknown  
**Previous Bearers: **Harishima Senju, Jiraiya Namikaze  
**Alignment:** Arcangus – First among Equals  
**Titles:** The Unifier, The Blade of Faith  
**Bio:  
**Michaela was born into the ruling caste of the Arcangus and along with her twin sister Gabriella, was raised to be the ruling elite. She was the unofficial leader of the Arcangus after she overthrew her father who was about to make peace with the Damus. To her, the Damus are an abomination and to align with them would spell the end of all that the Angus held dear. It is a running theme that the Arcangus tended to be hypocrites. Michaela was supposed to represent humility, yet she was by far the most prideful of the Arcangus. She would execute any on the worlds she controlled if they sought to rise above their station ignoring the fact that she herself had done this. Her worlds were governed with an iron fist and any sign of sin was treated most harshly. Her belief that all should be humble put her at odds with Lucione who was the embodiment of Pride.

**Name: **Zael El Fortuna  
**Element: **Fire  
**Current Bearer: **Suspected to be Mito Uzumaki [Daughter of Kushina Uzumaki](If still alive)  
**Previous Bearers: **Kushina Uzumaki  
**Alignment: **Arcangus- One of the Seven Equals  
**Titles: **The Benevolent, the Forgiving.  
**Bio:  
**Zael is the oldest of the Arcangus and inherited her position as an Arcangus from her father. While Michaela had dreams of a universe united under her, Zael was quite happy with the status quo as it was and when Michaela sought to unite the houses of the Angus, Zael as head of her house simply surrendered. She taught that all crimes should be forgiven once penance had been made and failure to do forgive someone who had paid there penance was punished by death, once again showing the hypocrisy that was the Arcangus. Her planets tended to have high rates of crime as penance was ineffective at stopping repeated offenders. He believe that all should forgive put her at odds with Satalin.

**Name: **Urella El Prospero  
**Element: **Earth  
**Current Bearer: **Unknown  
**Previous Bearers: **Might Guy  
**Alignment: **Arcangus – One of the Seven Equals  
**Bio:  
**Urella is the youngest of the Arcangus and the weakest. She was gifted her position by Michaela and worships her older sister figure. She had no planets to rule over and is the only Arcangus that actually follows the tenets they are supposed to embody: Peace and Temperance. She prays for peace and believes that if you keep a calm head you can solve any problem. She was easily bullied into compliance by the other Arcangus.

**Name: **Raphael El Glorifico  
**Element: **Wind and Fire  
**Current Bearer: **Naruto Uzumaki  
**Previous Bearers: **Minato Namikaze  
**Alignment: **Arcangus- One of the Seven Equals  
**Titles: **The Charitable, Equality's Agent.  
**Bio:  
**Raphael was the only daughter of a large family. Surrounded by more talented brothers she grew to long for attention, which she received in great amounts from Michaela. Raphael loved Michaela and was envious of the close relationship of Gabriella and Michaela. When Michaela rebelled she sided with her family who opposed the rebellion in order to have a chance to kill Gabriella and take her place as Michaela's favourite. In the final battle Raphael defeated Gabriella but was convinced to spare her by Michaela who promised to share her love with both of her 'sisters' equally. Her planets were ruled under the belief that all should share everything. Any who refused to share were killed without question. Despite her claims that all should be shared, she desires everyone's affections for herself.

* * *

**LEMON STARTS HERE!**

"Heh," Naruto shook his head. "You are my perverted Kushina-chan and I wouldn't change you for the world."

"I'm glad," Kushina blushed. "The other girls at school always say they are jealous of my breasts…" She took off her top, revealing the bandages she used to bind her breasts. "Do I… Do I look attractive?" Kushina's blush was adorable and Naruto couldn't help but smile.

"'You are beautiful Shina-chan," Naruto mumbled as his hands idly traced her hips. "That doesn't look comfortable though." He nodded at the bindings.

"They usually get in the way when I'm training," Kushina mumbled. "It is a little uncomfortable to wear the bindings but it makes certain things easier…"

"Then let's relieve some of that discomfort," Naruto started to undo the bindings on her chest, unravelling the bandages and revelling in Kushina's topless figure. "Amazing," Naruto whispered as he took her breasts in his hands, gentling teasing her nipples with his thumbs as he massaged her breasts.

"Ah," Kushina gasped before covering her mouth, a healthy blush on her face as Naruto continued his ministrations. "This feels good…" She moaned from behind her hands.

"I'm glad," Naruto whispered softly.

"This…" Kushina looked at the floor embarrassed, "This is my first time," She mumbled. "I… er… Don't really know what to do…"

"Just lay back on the bed and relax."

"Okay…" Kushina rolled onto her back anxiously. "I've… I've heard it hurts."

"A little yes," Naruto smiled, "If you want to stop at any time…"

"No," Kushina shook her head. "I want to do this." She took his hand in hers and squeezed softly. "I want you to…" She fidgeted. "Make love to me."

Naruto kissed Kushina, his tongue trailing her lips before Kushina responded in kind, their tongues duelling fiercely as Naruto continued playing with her breasts, each flick of a nipple earning an erotic squeak that stoked the flames of desire deep in Naruto. He broke the kiss, eyes misted with lust and mere inches separating the faces of the two panting lovers.

"Wow…" Kushina gasped. "That was intense."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," Naruto growled lustfully.

"Oh no," Kushina whispered in a voice that bypassed all Naruto's defences and triggered something primal deep within him. "The big bad wolf is going to ravish the pure innocent lamb."

Naruto responded by kissing her neck, trailing down to her breasts.

"My…" Kushina panted, "What big hands you have."

"All the better the feel you with," Naruto growled as his hands travelled down to her skirt, deftly removing the article and leaving Kushina in only a pair of red panties. He took her breast into his mouth, gently biting her nipples and teasing them with his tongue earning gasps of pleasure from the red haired beauty. His hands massaged her firm buttocks, slipping beneath her panties and straying close to her sacred garden.

"Naruto…" Kushina raked her fingers through Naruto's hair as he attacked her breasts.

"Shina…" He kissed her deeply, his erection rubbing against her inner thigh.

"That looks painful," Kushina gently rubbed his boxers. "Maybe I should do something about that?"

"I'd appreciate that," Naruto smiled as he allowed Kushina to go on top. She sat on his chest, back to Naruto's face and slowly lowered his boxers before freezing in shock as she witnessed the legendary weapon at full mast.

"This… This goes inside me?" She bit her lip and lowered her face towards it. The thick musky scent filled her nose and caused a strange fluttering sensation deep in her core. "This…" She whispered as she slowly stroked the shaft, "This smell…" She ran her tongue along his length, "This flavour…They are mine." She declared possessively before peeling back his foreskin with her tongue and sucking on his tip, one hand slowly stroking his member as the other squeezed her own breast. She grinded against his chest, her excitement clear from the soaked underwear

"Shina…" Naruto smiled as he slipped his fingers beneath the drenched fabric and gently stroked the entrance to her womanhood, tracing her lower lips and teasing her clitoris.

"Gah…" Kushina shivered as a jolt of pleasure shot through her before taking more on Naruto's member into her mouth, growing rapidly more confident by Naruto's satisfied groans. His flavour filled her mouth and she wanted more. She wanted him to fill her completely, to take her as his own; to ravish her and to re-enact the dreams that she had been having ever since she first met him. Kushina didn't believe in true love but this… whatever it was. It felt right to her. It was as if there was a deep ache inside her than only Naruto could satisfy.

Naruto slipped her panties off and found himself drowning in the scent of her excitement. He slipped a finger inside Kushina, marvelling at the intense heat inside her as he explored her inner walls, lapping up her excitement from the source as if it were the elixir of life.

The combined assault of his tongue and finger on her womanhood was too much for Kushina to bear and her body shook with the sudden surge of an orgasm.

Naruto smiled as he removed his finger from her, licking it clean before tasting her secret garden directly, his tongue teasing her clit and her lower lips in a relentless assault that left Kushina reeling in bliss. For the next five minutes Naruto continued his work, each flick of his tongue was rewarded by a muffled moan as Kushina tried to gather her senses and return the favour.

The obscene noises of their interactions were all they could hear, the scent of their partners drowned any thoughts beyond how to please their lovers. Kushina teased Naruto's tip with her tongue before using her breasts to stroke his twitching cock, determined to bring him to his climax.

"Shina… I'm…" Naruto groaned as he slipped two fingers into Kushina, "I'm almost there…"

Kushina's only response was to increase her pace, enveloping Naruto's pride with her breasts and trying her best to milk him of his precious seed.

"Shina!" Naruto thrust his hips in an explosive burst before unleashing his sperm into her mouth. The strange salty taste was heavenly to Kushina and she greedily gulped as much down, as she could before climbing off of Naruto and lying beside him, her legs spread wide.

"Please," She spread her lower lips, an almost drunken expression on her face. "I need you…"

"Kushina…" Naruto kneeled in front of her, teasing her entrance with his cock, watching as her love juice covered his tip. "I love you."

"I love you TOO!" Kushina cried out in pain as Naruto thrust into her core, her inner walls stretching as his length entered her.

"Are you alright?" Naruto whispered as he put his hands on her hips.

"W-what do you think dummy," Kushina mumbled with tears in her eyes. "That hurt."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise dummy," Kushina smiled at him. "You should only apologise for mistakes."

"Shina," Naruto smiled as he slowly eased out of her, earning a whimper before thrusting deep inside her.

"Gah!" Kushina gripped the bed tightly as Naruto continued his steady pace, each thrust travelling deeper into her core, claiming more of her most sacred spot at his own. The pain was fading and in its place was a pleasure that Kushina had never experienced before. The erotic sound of their sex was a masterpiece to Kushina's ears, every grunt as Naruto claimed her, and every moan as her own voice betrayed her; everything seemed perfect as she looked down her body at Naruto, who was holding her hips and thrusting inside her, his eyes clouded with desire and a hunger that both scared and excited her. She could have sworn there was a slight red tinge to his eyes but as Naruto flipped her over, she didn't care. She got on all fours and waved her rear playfully at Naruto, who thrust deep inside her and continued his relentless assault on her senses.

Naruto was lost in his lust, his only thoughts were to get Kushina to make more of the sweet moans and gasps, to make up for all the rejected advances, all the times he hadn't taken her feelings seriously. The intense heat from their sex made him feel as if he were melting inside her. He picked up his speed and leaned over her, fondling her breasts as he nibbled on her neck. The extra stimulation proved to be too much for Kushina to take.

"Naruto!" Kushina cried out as she climaxed, her inner walls squeezing Naruto and causing his vision to go white as with a furious thrust, his fully sheathed his member inside her and released his seed deep into her core.

"So… much…" Kushina gasped. "It's filling me up!"

"Amazing…" Naruto pulled out of Kushina and lay beside her, kissing her passionately.

"My turn…" Kushina smiled as she once again got on top of Naruto, hovering over his still erect sword.

"You don't have to force yourself…" Naruto started.

"I'm not…" Kushina smiled. "If this is the only time I am going to get with you in a long time," She slid onto Naruto's member. "Then I intend to make it last."

Naruto was lost for words at the sight of Kushina's breast bouncing up and down as she rode him, the sight of cock glistening with her excitement was strangely hypnotic as it plunged in and out of her pussy and earning delighted moans from the red head.

"My body…" Kushina moaned, "It's moving by itself!" Her hips rocked backwards and forwards, allowing his member to fully probe her depths. "I… I love this!" She started to play with her breasts as she continued to make love to the blonde half breed. "Gah!" She cried out as Naruto joined her bounces with thrusts of his own, holding her waist and slamming into her as if trying to merge with her.

"Na-ru-to!" Kushina gasped with each thrust.

"Shina!" Naruto grunted as he held her waist firmly and thrust deep inside her. "I'm coming!"

"Nyah!" Kushina's vision seem to blur as she reached orgasm again, helped by the surge of heat from Naruto's release. It felt as if he had penetrated her very womb and flooded it with his seed. Her brain was so frazzled from the experience she was unable to form words and collapsed on top of Naruto, her eyes glazed and legs feeling like jelly. "Gah…"

"Shina-chan…" Naruto wrapped his arms around Kushina, holding her close as he finished climaxing inside of her. "My Kushina-chan."

"Yours," Kushina mumbled in agreement as they lay there in each other's arms. "All yours." She snuggled into his chest.

"Yeah…" Naruto smiled as he started to drift off to sleep.

"Hey," Kushina nudged him, "I hope you don't think we are finished!"

"Eh?"

"I can keep this up all night." Kushina nibbled on his ear and whispered seductively, causing Naruto Junior to rear his head.

"You're not going to let me use the fact your gramps trained me into the ground a few hours ago as an excuse are you?"

"Nope." Kushina smiled as she started to grind her crotch against Naruto's, their combined fluids of their lovemaking leaking onto his sword as her hands stroked his chest fondly. "Like I said, if this is the only time I am going to have with you for a while…" She raised her hips allowing Naruto Junior to stand to attention, "I intend to make it count." She gasped as she dropped onto Naruto junior, feeling her inner walls stretch and the dull ache of her lost innocence was replaced with an intense pleasure.

"Fine then," Naruto lifted Kushina off the bed and held her against the wall before beginning to piston in and out of her. "It's quite clear you have quite the appetite," He growled in her ears. "Well I've never been one to let my precious people down."

"Ah…" Kushina gasped, "That's… yes… right there!" She raked her nails down his back. "God's yes! You're breaking my womb!" She panted.

"Shina," He growled possessively before pulling out of her.

"Don't stop," She whined.

"I wasn't planning on stopping," Naruto stood behind her and lifted up one of her legs before re-entering her. "Ah!" He gasped at the extra tightness of this position. Her inner walls had Naruto Junior in a steel grip and each thrust seemed to make her tighter.

"Kyah!" Kushina cried out in pleasure. "Faster!"

"As you wish," Naruto's increased his pace, the slapping noise of wet flesh speeding up until it was almost a constant noise.

"Gyrah!" Kushina panted, her tongue lolling out of her mouth with a look of absolute ecstasy as she rode another orgasm. Her vision went white for a brief moment before returning as Naruto span her around and kissed her deeply as he thrust into her.

**'_Hey sorry I dozed off for a bit. So what did I miss? What the hell? How did this happen? Did you drink something spiked at that party or something? Hot damn! I… I'm actually proud of you boy. I taught you well.' _**

If Naruto heard Asmodea he gave no indication. His left hand trailed through Kushina's fiery mane, gently stroking it as his right hand slapped her rear, causing her to moan into his mouth, her eyes nearly rolling back as she struggled to maintain conscience against the overwhelming sensations that rocked her body. Their eyes met and through the haze of lust and carnal gratification, they both smiled as with a final thrust Naruto climaxed sending another torrent of his burning love inside Kushina whose nails drew blood as they scratched his back with her legs locked around his body, preventing him from pulling out of her.

"Shina…" He moaned into her mouth as his legs gave way and the couple fell back onto the bed.

"I'm going to get pregnant." Kushina panted. "You'd better take responsibility."

"I will," He squeezed her hand lovingly.

"Good…" Kushina started to stroke his cock. "Got another round in you?"

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"There are a few things I want to try out," Kushina smiled seductively, resurrecting Naruto Junior.

"You are going to be the death of me," He sighed happily as Kushina used her tongue to clean his tool.

"Once I have blacked out with the world's most intense orgasm, then you have my permission to die." Kushina smirked evilly.

Incest Roleplay scene Below here. Also this lemon has anal in it so yeah… you've been warned, There are a few fetishes in this next part. If you don't read it you won't missing anything important so as always it's up to you if you want to continue

Naruto lay staring at the ceiling with a distant look on his face. Kushina had finally given him a moment to breathe but the look in her eyes made Naruto feel sure that this was only a temporary reprieve. She had gone somewhere, not telling Naruto.

"I'd best tidy myself up," Naruto mumbled as he rolled out of the bed and made his way towards the bathroom. Fortunately the party was still going on downstairs so no one had overheard them but Naruto couldn't help but think that the music had gotten louder the instant Kushina had joined him in his room. He had a sneaking suspicion that Harashima was aware what they were up to and was trying to cover from them, a suspicion all but confirmed the next morning when he found out that when Dan had tried to go find where Kushina had wandered off to he was collared by Harashima and challenged to a drinking game that resulted in him passing out for the entire night.

He walked into the bathroom and froze as he realised he was not the only one in the bathroom.

"Kyah!" Kushina covered herself. "Pervert Onii-sama!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked as he dodged the barrage of bathing supplies.

**_'I'm guessing this is the role play she wanted to do or something.' _**Asmodea remarked.

_'Oh!' _Naruto's eyes widened as he bowed his head. "Sorry sis!" He rubbed the back of his head. "I kind of forgot to knock."

"Forget this!" Kushina threw a bar of soap which ricocheted around the bathroom before hitting Naruto in the groin.

"Gargh!" Naruto groaned and fell to the floor groaning.

"Sorry," Kushina ran over to him. "That wasn't supposed to hit you," She looked embarrassed, dropping the little sister persona briefly.

"It's okay…" Naruto groaned. "I get that Shina-chan hates her big brother."

"That's not it at all!" Kushina slipped back into the little sister persona.

"Really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Well if you _really _loved me… you'd kiss it better."

"What?" Kushina scowled. "Hentai!"

"Oh my little sister hates me…" Naruto wailed.

"That's not…" Kushina looked around embarrassed. "This… this doesn't count as ecchi right? I'm just healing your injury okay?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked as Kushina looked at his swollen member and briefly kissed it. "There happy?"

"It hurts so much," Naruto groaned. "I think it needs massaging…"

"Hentai!"

"Oh my little sister hates me so much…"

"Muu…." Kushina frowned. "Well… I guess… If it's Onii-sama it doesn't count right?"

"Right!" Naruto nodded, "It's more of a practice really."

"Right," Kushina nodded. "So that doesn't make it wrong right? I mean it isn't as if we are having… you know." She blushed adorably.

"Right!" Naruto nodded, "You are just a kind and loving sister helping out her big brother."

"Right…" Kushina grabbed Naruto's shaft and started to stroke it softly. "Is… It is feeling any better?"

"Oh yeah," Naruto groaned as Kushina continued her ministrations. "Your Onii-sama is feeling much better."

"Really?" Kushina frowned, "Because it seems to be oozing something… Did I break Onii-sama's thingy?"

"It's a poison!"

"Poison?"

"Yeah poison," Naruto nodded. "A poison from the soap that needs sucking out."

"Sucking out?!" Kushina blushed crimson. "B-but…"

"Oh… I'm dying…" Naruto groaned.

"F-fine! I mean we are siblings so that means it isn't hentai right?" Kushina licked the pre-cum from Naruto's tip before sucking gently and continuing to massage his shaft, quickening her pace.

"Gargh," Naruto gasped, "I can feel the poison coming… Now!" He thrust deep into Kushina's mouth and spilt his seed, which she eagerly drank down.

"Salty," She murmured. "It's warm and salty."

"Did you drink it?" Naruto gasped.

"Eh?" Kushina blinked, "Is that bad?"

"Of course," Naruto nodded, "It's a poison!"

"W-what?" Kushina blinked.

"Don't worry…" Naruto nodded. "I know how to extract the poison. Lay down on your back and spread your legs."

"Like t-this?" Kushina stammered cutely.

"Yeah," Naruto smiled as trailed a finger around her womanhood.

"Ah!" Kushina panted. "That feels strange Onii-sama… You aren't planning something hentai are you?"

"My little sister is poisoned and you think I would take advantage of that?" Naruto sighed. "My cute lil' Shina-chan doesn't trust me… I can no longer go on living…"

"…Sorry Onii-sama. I trust you!"

"Great!" Naruto recovered instantly, "Now I must suck the poison out of you!" He took her breast into his mouth whilst his hands teased her clit.

"I feel weird," Kushina panted.

"The poison is spreading fast," Naruto nodded sagely. "I'll have to use the super-secret Namikaze healing arts!" He slipped two fingers inside her and began to probe her inner walls for weakness as he intensified his assault on her breasts, nibbling and sucking them to a chorus of delighted gasps from his red haired playmate.

"I feel strange!" Kushina groaned. "I feel like I'm going to explode!"

"I'll save you!" Naruto fingers and mouth intensified their assault.

"Gargh!" Kushina's whole body shuddered as another orgasm struck her.

"There…" Naruto patted her on the head. "You are saved. You're welcome."

"Eh?" Kushina fidgeted. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled.

"Say… Onii-sama…" Kushina looked at him cutely, "I think I can still feel a little poison inside of me…" She spread her lower lips.

"Ah…" Naruto's throat went dry. "So I can see… Maybe I…" He grabbed his erect member, "No! We are siblings… It wouldn't be right… I can't have sex with my sister… Regardless of how much I want to." He stared off into space, "The trials of an older brother are difficult indeed."

"But it's only practice right?" Kushina tilted her head. "It wouldn't count right? Plus you would be saving me from the poison right?"

"…Well when you put it like that." Naruto lined himself up at her entrance. "It is a big brother's duty to teach and protect his little sister!" He thrust into her. "Gah… My little sister can't be this good!"

"Onii-sama!" She wrapped her legs around him. "This is so much better than my fingers!"

"What was that?" Naruto grinned evilly.

"Er…" Kushina blushed. "I may possibly… haveusedyourunderwearandtouchedmyselfbuti'mnotahentaihonest!"

"Is that so," Naruto grabbed her waist and started to thrust inside her forcefully. "Then I think punishment is required!"

"Gah!" Kushina's eyes nearly rolled back from this fresh onslaught on her core.

"And it is a big brother's solemn duty to punish his little sister!" Naruto pulled himself out and rolled her over before pushing his tip against her virgin rear entrance.

"Eh?!" Kushina panicked. "What are you doing?"

"Ah? Too far?" Naruto stopped.

"…Do you see Zael anywhere?" Kushina sighed.

"Er no?"

"Then I'm fine with this." Kushina cleared her throat before returning to her act, "B-but… that… I don't know… I don't think I want that."

"Well this is a punishment," Naruto grinned as he lathered his cock in her love juice before slowly penetrating her.

"No!" Kushina gasped. "Onii-sama's thing is rubbing inside me."

"Gargh," Naruto grunted. "This… My little sister can be this tight!" He reached around her and began fingering her with one hand whilst the other teased her breasts. "I could get used to this."

"So warm…" Kushina gasped. "It feels like you are poking my stomach!"

"I'd best stop then." Naruto slowly pulled himself out of her until only his tip remained inside before ramming back into her, earning an obscene moan from Kushina. "Psyche!"

"Nah ruh toh…" Kushina slurred as the intense pleasure washed over her entire core as Naruto continued thrusting into her.

"Do you like that lil' Shina-chan?"

"Onii-sama is a baka meanie hentai!"

"Shina-nee," Naruto nibbled her ear. "Do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you onii-sama," Kushina panted out as Naruto increased the pace of his thrusts.

"I'm glad," Naruto whispered into her ear sending shivers down her spine. "I think… I'm going to cum…"

"Release your love inside me onii-sama," Kushina whined, "Mark all of me as yours."

"Shina!" Naruto cried out as he fully buried his member inside her and unleashed his load whilst capturing Kushina's lips as she reached her climax as well, the cries of passion muffled by their heated kiss.

"Onii-sama…" Kushina smiled as she felt Naruto's arms wrap her in a hug. "Sex is complicated."

Naruto hummed his agreement.

"You'll have to teach me more," She looked embarrassed, "Since it doesn't count doing it with your brother."

"Right, right," Naruto kissed her softly, "I teach you everything you want to know."

"…Love you," Kushina mumbled.

"Love you too," Naruto smiled.

"Is anyone in there?" A loud knock sounded from the door.

"Oh crap," Naruto and Kushina looked at each other.

"Hello?" The door opened to reveal an empty bathroom.

"Strange," Saibai Yuuki walked into the bathroom, "I could have sworn I heard voices. And someone left the shower on and the window open… Huh." He rubbed his chin. "Come to think of it Naruto and Kushina were both upstairs so maybe one of them was in here. But then why did they escape out of the window? Unless…" His eyes widened.

"Saibai-kun?" A slightly tipsy Ringo leaned on the door way. "Hey… Do you want to make out again?"

"And suddenly I've completely forgot what I was trying to work out," Saibai grinned and ran towards Ringo.


	19. Chapter 19: Life's a Beach

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everybody!

The lemons have all been uploaded to the bottom of the chapters that they are in. I know it ruins the flow a little but this is the best compromise I can make and it is how I will do this from now on. Unless the story gets removed then I'll have to post it lemon-free and use another site for the lemons but this way you can't accidentally read the lemons. They are at the very end of the story (after all of the additional information etc) and as such once you get to the LEMON STARTS HERE message if you don't want to read it there is no reason to continue. Hopefully this will satisfy people.

Anyway, Not much else to say. The next chapter will be the Momo story line and I think after that it is the Mikado one. After them it is a close run between Rin and Nana's story line (the poll is still open about that. I won't close it until after I have finished Mikado's story line).

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru.

* * *

Chapter 19: Life's a Beach

_Everything was blurry. Her head was hurting as she couldn't work out where she was. There were voices, angry voices. What was going on? _

_She squinted and realised she was in a warehouse. 'Why am I here… What… I can't remember…' _

"_If we can't have the Tenjouin family's money… nobody can." A shadowy figure pulled a gun on her and fired. _

'_What… Am I going to die?!'_

"_No!" She was pushed aside by a masked figure who took the bullet in his shoulder. Her hero looked no older than she did, with his hair and face completely concealed from her. "Argh!" _

"_Why?" She asked the wounded hero. _

"_Because… It's a hero's job to save pretty princesses," The boy groaned as he got back to his feet, clutching his wounded arm. _

"_Saki-sama," Hanabi helped her to her feet. "You have scuffed milady's dress. I will not forget this insult." _

"_Eh?" The masked figure blinked. "But I saved her… Never mind," The wounded boy turned on the gun wielding thug. "Get her out of here!" _

"_I do not follow your orders," Hanabi sneered. "But in light of the current situation…" She retreated carrying Saki with her. _

_Saki tried to protest, tried to tell Hanabi to help the wounded hero but her body was refusing to respond and she was helpless as they left the warehouse, the sounds of gunshots and cries of pain haunted her ears._

"NO!" Saki woke up covered in sweat. "It… it was a dream…" She shivered.

"Saki-sama!" Rin ran into her room, dressed only in a dressing gown and carrying her sword. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Saki smiled," It was just a dream…"

"Is there anything I can do?" Rin radiated concern.

"Just being here is enough," She smiled at her friend and struggled to her feet. "There is little that can be done about a dream. I prefer to focus on obstacles that I can deal with." She smiled, "Obstacles such as certain people who are stealing my limelight."

"Deviluke-san," Rin narrowed her eyes, "And her… friend, Uzumaki-san."

"Indeed," Saki smiled. "I was thinking of inviting them to my summer house."

"Why?"

"To gather intel of course," Saki smiled at Rin, "I understand you have… unresolved issues with Uzumaki-san. If you don't want to come you don't have to."

"I… Whilst I do not want to face him for what he did to me," Rin let out a deep breath, "I… I will stand by you if you wish."

"You need not force yourself," Saki walked into the large bath, followed closely by her friend, "I will take Hanabi."

"…Is that wise?"

"Probably not." Saki admitted, "But if Uzumaki-san should get injured well…" Her eye's glistened with mischief, "Then he will be paying for hurting a dear friend of mine."

"Saki-sama," Rin bowed her head, "I am not worthy."

"Hush now," Saki gestured idly with a fan she pulled from nowhere, "Let us plan for me to regain my title! Ohohohohoho!" She laughed.

"As you wish Saki-sama," Rin shook her head with a slight smile.

* * *

Breakfast was a busy affair in the Uzumaki household but there wasn't the usual cheer about it. No today was not a happy day for the members of the house.

Most of Naruto's precious people were gathered in the kitchen for an emergency meeting. It had been a week since Naruto's failed attempt at changing the past and saving his father; The first day he had spent in a melancholy mood sat before his father's shrine followed by spending the next day angry with himself and training himself far harder than usual. His mood had been slowly improving and he seemed to be back to normal yesterday but he had woken up this morning, grabbed some breakfast then returned to his room; locking everyone else out and asking them not to disturb him.

In this state of emergency, everyone had been summoned. Unfortunately they hadn't been able to get a hold of Run/Ren who was on an idol tour or Kyouko who was filming a show but both promised to get back as soon as possible.

"Hmm… The manly sage suffers in isolation as to not disturb his harem. We should respect his wishes." Kenichi nodded.

"Uzumaki-san is usually so cheerful," Haruna frowned. "I am worried for him."

"I've no idea what I could even say to him," Yui bit her lip, "I feel so helpless."

"I can think of a few treatments that might temporarily improve his mood," Mikado twirled a pen in her fingers, "But that would only be treating the symptoms. All we can do is support him through this period."

"Where's Ane-ue?" Nana looked around.

"Probably still sat outside Naruto's room." Momo sighed, "She's like a lost puppy."

"Muu…" Lala sadly trudged into the kitchen and sat down. "I hate that he's hurt and I can't do anything for him… Seeing him so sad hurts me here." She put a hand on her chest. "I would do anything to make him smile again."

"I think we should go in," Mikan suggested. "If he is suffering from his father's death then maybe talking to us would help him."

"Agreed," Kushina nodded. "He needs some motherly love!"

"Define motherly love," Momo deadpanned.

"Well I smother him in my breasts… then we start to undress and…" Kushina started giggling perversely, drooling slightly.

"How shameless," Yui scowled. "Naruto is in distress and you can only think of… of… _that._"

"Hey!" Kushina crossed her arms. "I'll have you know that sex releases chemicals in the brain that improve your mood. It's science! Besides I know what he's doing in there." She grinned.

"Oh?" Lala blinked. "You can see what Momo's drones can't?"

"Stupid sexy Naruto finding all my drones," Momo mumbled under her breath.

"Let's just call it lover's intuition." Kushina smirked. "You are getting all worked up over nothing I can assure you."

"Still I don't think sex is the answer here," Momo paused at the incredulous looks everyone was giving her. "What?"

"A-anyway," Yui cleared her throat. "I think we should do something to cheer him…"

"GOD DAMN YOU BLOOD STARVED BEAST!" Naruto roared. "I TRIGGERED THE VISCERAL ATTACK! YOU WERE DEAD! HOW DID I DIE?!"

"A blood starved beast?!" Yui looked worried. "Is Naruto in danger?"

"Sounds like he has finally had enough." Kushina smirked.

"GARGH! WHERE DID THAT WEREWOLF COME FROM?! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Naruto entered the kitchen looking frustrated. "I can't believe I lost all my blood echoes again. That was at least twelve levels worth. I knew I should have tried using a bold hunter's mark but no… I thought I could beat the boss."

"Enjoying your new game?" Kushina asked.

"Game?!" The girls looked at each other.

"That is not a game," He grumbled, "That is a… a… cruel and unusual torture." He paused. "Why are you all here? Not that I don't like seeing you mind you." He looked at their faces, "Is something happening today that I've forgotten about?"

"Are you telling me we've been worried that you were suicidal and all this time you playing a computer game?!" Momo twitched.

"I figured I needed a break from training," Naruto shrugged. "Even if my To Do List is getting ridiculous I still need some time to myself. I bought it yesterday and figured since I was feeling pretty good this morning I would give it a go and try and relax… I bought the wrong game for relaxing."

"Your to do list?" Yui frowned.

"Yeah. I have to save my dad, save my little sister, protect all of you and kick Gid's ass," Naruto counted off his tasks, "I can't think of anything else but I am probably forgetting a lot of stuff." He collapsed into a chair and smiled gratefully as Mikan placed a large serving of food in front of him. "Thanks Mikan-chan, you're the best!"

"Oh it's nothing…" Mikan fidgeted with the apron she was wearing.

"Best huh?" Risa mock pouted, "As you wife I am a little jealous that you favour Mikan-chan so. Is she more your type?"

'_**He is a lolicon after all.' **_Asmodea's voice agreed although only Naruto could hear it.

'_Love should be shared to all, regardless of their age.' _Raphael, Naruto's newest resident, added her two cents.

'_Wait what?! That sounded dangerous…' _Naruto frowned.

'_**Yeah and they said we were the weird ones.' **_Asmodea remarked. _**'Looks like I found out why the Arcangus wore robes. It so they could hide little children under them to…' **_

'_I didn't mean it like that! I meant you can show affection to everyone and should! Not that you should lay with them!' _

"Now, now wife-chan," Naruto smiled, "Stop teasing Mikan."

"It doesn't count, it doesn't count," Lala muttered under her breath. "I'm his first real bride. The first _real _bride."

"…I think Ane-ue is taking the Yandere path," Nana shivered at the dark aura surrounding the usually bubbly Lala.

"Er…" Naruto was actually more freaked out by the dark aura Lala was emitting than he would have liked to admit. He found himself praying for a distraction.

"Incoming." Yami appeared from the shadows and used her hair to surround Mikan and pull her away from the table as a barrage of throwing knives stuck into it.

"Are those… bombs?!" Naruto's eyes widened at the small timers on the knives before grabbing the table and throwing it to one side of the room where it exploded. "An assassin?"

"Tch," A woman wearing a blank ninja's outfit appeared where the table was. "I failed." She tore the fabric off to reveal her identity.

"Oh… It's the psycho maid," Naruto's shoulders sagged. "I'm sure you have a reason for trying to kill me."

"Yes." Hanabi smoothed her maids outfit.

"And that is?"

"I want to."

"You could have hurt some of my precious people." Naruto scowled.

"No I couldn't." Hanabi shook her head. "I expected you to dive on the knives to protect your 'precious people' and die saving them. After analysing your personality I am sure that they were never in any danger so long as you were in the room."

"… Okay I guess that is true," Naruto crossed his arms. "So… can I help you?"

"You could swallow these cyanide tablets."

"I'm good."

"Tch," Hanabi frowned. "Mistress Tenjouin requests your presence at her private beach house."

"Tenjouin?" Naruto blinked. "Why does Saki want to invite me to her private beach house? The only real contact we have had is when she kidnapped me."

"A text message?" Yui glanced at her phone and paled. "Naruto!"

"What?" Naruto glanced at the phone and froze.

"Why are you wearing suspenders and stockings?!" Yui waved the picture in his face.

"What… What else did you do to me whilst I was unconscious?" Naruto glared at the smugly smiling maid.

"Rest assured I have plenty of blackmail material on all of you." Hanabi smiled evilly, "Should any of you speak about the… incident between that trash and my mistress… Be prepared to watch your social life crash and burn around you."

"Screw Gid I think I just found the final boss," Naruto shivered.

"There is a helicopter outside," Hanabi left the kitchen. "You have twenty minutes to prepare for your visit to Saki-sama's private beach."

"Well…" Naruto cleared his throat. "Who wants to go?"

"It smells like a trap." Momo tilted her head. "So I'm going."

"A private beach sounds like fun," Lala beamed.

"I'll go… not because I want you to see me in a swimsuit of anything!" Nana pointed at Naruto. "Stop imagining me in a swimsuit and staring at me with those hungry eyes your perverted beast!" She hid behind Lala, glaring at Naruto from behind her sister.

"I suppose it could be a nice break…" Yui blushed as she imagined Naruto's reaction to her swimsuit. "B-but nothing shameless alright!" She warned the other girls.

"Yay!" Lala clapped her hands, "This sounds like it will be great fun!"

"Well," Risa smirked. "Naruto, we should wear matching outfits, you know we are married after all!"

"Not properly!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm. "I am the first real bride!"

"Stop teasing Lala," Naruto hugged Lala and kissed her on the forehead, who stuck a tongue out childishly at Risa.

"Fine," Risa chuckled. "Are you guys coming?" She turned to the others in the room.

"Er…" Rito tried to glance subtly at Haruna to see what she wanted to do, "It could be fun."

"A beach… with such beautiful women… in swimsuits?!" Kenichi stared at Naruto with tears in his eyes. "I was killed by the assassin wasn't I master? I am on my way to heaven!"

"It sounds nice." Haruna smiled.

"I need to work on my tan," Mikado nodded. "Say Naruto… I'll need your help applying sun tan lotion _all _over my body."

"Me too!" Risa declared.

"Me three!" Momo grinned.

"But you'll put it on me first right?" Lala cut in. "Because I'm the first one right?"

"Er… sure…" Naruto nodded.

"Is it me or is Onee-sama getting a little…" Momo glanced at Nana, "Possessive?"

"She was overly affectionate and now she is possessive." Nana nodded.

"Could it be…?" Momo's eyes widened.

"Be what?" Nana looked confused.

"Don't worry your little head about it," Momo smiled. "Let your big sis worry about it and you carry on playing lil' Nana-chan."

"Hey! I'm the older twin!" Nana scowled.

"Well… you lack a certain mature charm," Momo replied.

"I… I can be sexy!"

"Oh?" Momo grinned. "How about a wager then?"

"Wager?"

"The first person to be make Naruto… respond to their sexiness wins."

"Wins what?"

"Hmm… A whole day uninterrupted with Naruto?"

"W-why would I want that?"

"Well if you don't want it..." Momo trailed off.

"I'm in!" Lala declared.

"Er I didn't…" Momo started.

"A day with Naruto…" Yui bit her lip. "I haven't really had much time with him since the date... It would be nice to have some more time with him." _'But to act so shamelessly to win… I… I really do want to spend more time with him. I… Naruto won't think me shameless!' _Yui clenched her fists. _'For the sake of our love… I will do what I must!' _

"It would be like a real honey moon," Risa smiled fondly. "Ah what the hell. So we have to get Naruto to say we are sexy?"

"Not just say it. He has to physically react," Momo grinned.

"Piece of cake," Kushina snorted. "I'll be sure to tell you in great detail all of the sexual exploits we have on our day together."

"Me oh my," Mikado smiled. "I am quite confident in my figure. A whole day with Naruto helping me out in my clinic for aliens I run would be such fun." She smiled. "I can think of so many fun games we could play."

"So we are agreed." Momo looked at the girls. "The game begins as soon as we change into our swimming costumes at the beach!"

"Deal," The girls raced off to prepare for war.

"Is something the matter Naruto-dono?" Zastin asked.

"I have a feeling the girls are up to something," Naruto smiled as he watched them leave the room, "Probably some way to try and cheer me up. I must be doing something right to have so many beautiful girls looking after me. Come on, let's go grab our swimming stuff."

"Er… we?"

"Well you are coming with us aren't you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You are practically a resident of this house."

"Thank you Naruto-dono!" Zastin hugged Naruto, tears in his eyes. "Truly your pure heart is proof that you are worthy of claiming Lala-sama as your bride!"

"Er…" Naruto patted Zastin on the back, "There, there…" He sighed. _'Today is going to be one of those days.' _

* * *

"Wow…" Naruto blinked as he stepped off of the helicopter. "This place looks amazing!"

"Wow!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm possessively. "So this is a private beach."

Before them was undisturbed golden sand as far as the eye could see, interrupted only by the clear sea that lazily lapped against the beach. A calm breeze caused the palm trees to sway gently and provided a gentle relief from the perfect weather. The only building on the entire island was a giant mansion, bearing the crest of the Tenjouin.

Saki and Aya were walking towards them, a million dollar smile on the blonde heiress's face although this was admittedly the second thing Naruto noticed as the first thing he saw was the tight black bikini she was wearing that exaggerated her assets perfectly.

'_**Damn… She's got it going on.' **_Asmodea whistled appreciatively.

"Welcome Naruto!" Saki declared pausing as she realised how many people had come with him. "I wasn't expecting so many people but let it never be said the Tenjouin were not gracious hosts!"

"Thanks for inviting us," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I have to admit I was surprised. We haven't really talked that much."

"A sad fact I hope to change." Saki fluttered her eye lids.

"Where is Rin?"

"… She is indisposed."

"Still hates me huh?" Naruto sighed.

"I wouldn't say that," Saki smiled awkwardly. "She is just..."

"It's okay," Naruto cut her off. "I guess I kind of deserve it."

"Please follow me," Saki smiled as she led the group towards the mansion.

"She is really rich," Yui mumbled, "Not to mention pretty… I'm kind of jealous."

"Why?" Momo asked.

"Well… Look at Naruto," Yui mumbled. "He's struggling to take his eyes off of her."

"Your imagining things," Momo chastised her softly.

"Maybe he is planning to recruit her," Yui crossed her arms.

"Recruit her?"

"For the harem… I mean family!" Yui blushed and corrected herself.

"Well," Momo chose not to focus on Yui's slip, "I don't think that's the case."

"I mean compared to her what do I have to offer," Yui mumbled.

"Are you kidding?" Momo raised an eyebrow. "You really think that Naruto compares us like that?"

"I…"

"He loves you," Momo shook her head, "He wants to be with you."

"He didn't hesitate to marry Risa," Yui pointed out. "Yet he hasn't even tried to… well.." Yui blushed.

"…Do you want him to?" Momo asked. "Do you want him to do _those _sort of things to you?"

"How shameless!" Yui blushed crimson, "Stop insinuating such things! I meant he hadn't even tried to take me on a second date."

"Sure you did," Momo snorted, "But I wouldn't worry about that marriage. It doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because it wasn't the devilukian ceremony." Momo explained. "Just ask Onee-sama."

"On that note," Yui turned her attention to the bubbly pink haired alien, "Is it me or has she been acting a little weird a lately."

"You've noticed?"

"She seems… clingy."

"Don't worry about it. It's a perfectly natural stage of a devilukian's life cycle."

"Oh," Yui calmed. "How long will that last?"

"Depends," Momo shrugged. "Could be a few days could be a few months."

"Oh."

Further back in the group Mikan was happily walking alongside Nana and Yami.

"This is a really nice looking place," Mikan remarked.

"It reminds me of the holiday planet mama used to take me and Momo sometimes." Nana smiled fondly. "There were so many animal friends I made there."

"It must be nice talking to animals," Mikan sighed, "I wonder what sort of stories they have to tell."

"Some are really interesting," Nana nodded eagerly, "I once met a Tri-horned Gelpabu and…"

"A what?"

"Oh right," Nana smiled, "They are giant three horned… I suppose calling them toads wouldn't be too far from the truth. Anyway this one I met had lived for over two hundred years. They have many useful properties as well."

"Gelpabu saliva is a powerful poison," Yami added. "I've used it several times."

"Ah," Mikan sweat dropped slightly at Yami's comment. "Say I really don't know that much about you Yami-chan."

"There isn't much to know."

"Do you have any family?"

"Family…" Yami closed her eyes briefly.

_She watched helplessly as a stray attack from Kurama screamed towards her. Given the damage she had sustained there was no way she could evade. She had failed her primary objective and with a sense of fear, she closed her eyes and braced for the worst when suddenly there was an almighty explosion and she tentatively opened her eyes. _

"_Whoops," A devilukian solider wearing full body armour was stood before her, arm outstretched towards where the attack had been coming from. "That was close eh Yami-nee." _

"_Who are you?" Yami groaned as she clutched her wounded body. _

"_Just call me your Onii-sama," The devilukian soldier laughed. "Now you stay here safe and sound, I'll go and help Kurama and Gid kick that tyrant's ass okay?" _

"Yami?" Mikan tilted her head.

"I had… a kind of brother maybe." Yami murmured.

"Oh what was he like?"

"I do not know," Yami shook her head. "He saved my life during the battle at the end of the Devilukean Civil war."

"W-what?" Nana blinked. "You were alive then?!"

"Yes," Yami nodded.

"B-but… that was over twenty years ago! How old are you?!"

Yami paused. "I do not know. I never needed to track my age."

"But you look so young," Mikan gasped.

"This form is most useful as it combines speed with a small target. I have seen no reason to change it over the years." Yami stated.

"So…" Nana grabbed Yami's hand with a smile, "We are similar then!"

"Pardon princess?" Yami frowned softly.

"We are both a lot older than we look." Nana grinned, "Let's do our best!"

"Okay?" Yami was slightly confused although her face was as blank as ever.

"So what happened to your brother?" Mikan asked.

"I… I do not know." She frowned. "He vanished in a flicker of light telling me we would meet again. I have spent some time searching for him then Lacospo told me he would help me find him if I worked for him."

"Lacospo?" Mikan blinked.

"One of Onee-sama's annoying suitors," Nana explained dismissively. "He sent Yami to kill Naruto."

"W-what?" Mikan blinked and glanced at Yami.

"After observing my target, I determined Naruto Uzumaki was not the danger that Lacospo had portrayed and cancelled the contract. Although I continuously monitor him to ensure that remains the case. Should that ever change…?" Her hair turned into blades, "I will take appropriate action."

"I know what you mean," Mikan nodded earning an incredulous look from Nana. "When Rito acts stupid I have to punish him to make him a better person. It is the sacred duty of a little sister to ensure their big brothers stay on the right path."

"I see," Yami looked thoughtful.

"Somehow I feel trying to kill your big brother and scolding him are two different things…" Nana sighed as Mikan started teaching Yami how to be a good little sister.

* * *

"Well?" Naruto crossed his arms and he and Zastin stood outside the changing rooms.

"Lala-sama was very insistent that you see them all in their swimsuits before everyone else." Zastin smiled apologetically. "I am afraid she is a little possessive at the moment."

"I've noticed," He glanced at Zastin, "Do you think it is because Risa married me first?"

"Possibly," Zastin didn't look convinced. "There is another possibility though…"

"Which is?"

"A perfectly natural one," Zastin reassured Naruto. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"If Lala is acting weird I can't help but worry about it." Naruto bit his lip.

"I am glad Lala-sama found you," Zastin smiled softly.

"Naruto!" Lala exclaimed cheerfully.

"Lala?" Naruto turned to face her and froze. "W-wow you look amazing!"

"Hehehe," Lala twirled around. "I'm glad you like it!"

"Like isn't a strong enough word," He smiled. She was wearing a simple pink bikini that showed all of her assets yet still retained the innocent and bubby persona that Naruto had come to associate with Lala.

"H-how about me?" Yui mumbled as she too left the changing rooms.

"You really have a shameless body," Naruto smiled teasingly.

"I-idiot!" Yui blushed as she tried to cover herself. She was wearing what looked like a sports bra and spats but given her shapely figure, rather than cover her assets they seemed to enhance them. There was something so beautifully Yui about her outfit. "Stop staring." She mumbled with a heavy blush.

"My bad," Naruto smiled and turned to face the twins who had just left the changing rooms.

"Ta-dah!" Momo smiled as she hugged Nana.

"That… Is not what I was expecting from you," Naruto blinked. Momo and Nana were both wearing bikinis. Nana's was a tiger stripe pattern with a special cover on her tail that made it look like a lion's tail whereas Momo's looked as if it was made from leaves. "I was expecting something more… revealing I guess," Naruto laughed. "I have to admit seeing you wearing something cute is kind of refreshing. I could get used to seeing you like that."

"Don't worry," Momo winked. "This is made from special fibres that go invisible as the wearer becomes aroused."

"They are?!" Nana looked horrified and tried to take hers off. "Take it off!"

"Well if you insist," Momo advanced on Nana. "I'll need your help Naruto."

"Eh?!" Nana blushed. "I don't want the perverted beast to see me naked."

"Again," Momo added. "Remember when we first met him in the shower?"

"Perverted beast!" Nana yelled at Naruto before running outside of the mansion.

"You look good in that," Naruto called as she ran past him, causing her to pause.

"I don't care what a perverted beast thinks!" She declared. "B-but thank you," She mumbled with a blush before running outside.

"Is there anyone you haven't met naked in a shower," Yui mumbled.

"Well I haven't seen you naked," Naruto pointed out, "And I am willing to wait to do so," He smiled at her. "Whenever you are ready to."

"S-so shameless!" Yui blushed, "B-but thank you." She gulped. "I… I care for you a lot but I don't want to rush things."

"I know," Naruto kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Muu… Kiss me too!" Lala declared.

"Okay, okay," Naruto laughed and kissed Lala before watching her and Yui walk out of the room.

"That sister of mine," Momo shook her head, "And to think this is going to get worse before it gets better."

"What do you mean?" Naruto glanced at her.

"It's just a natural part of a devilukian's life." Momo reassured him.

"Zastin said the same thing," Naruto sighed. "I just wish I didn't feel so worried when you both said it."

"Trust me," Momo took his hands in her own. "Give it a few months and Lala will be back to normal… possibly."

"…You had me reassured until you added that last part." Naruto deadpanned. "Care to tell me what the issue is."

"If it is what I think it is, your relationship with Lala has reached a certain point where she wants to bind herself to you, but she can't."

"Why not?"

"You don't have a tail," Momo waved hers, "Basically devilukians can form special bonds by wrapping their tails around each other's as they are having sex. Since you can't do this you can't form the bond and as Onee-sama loves you and you are regularly satisfying her physical needs…"

"Ah," Naruto blushed, "You know about that?"

"I know my sister and try as hard as she does, I know when she has had sex with you. She always seems to glow for a good few hours afterwards," Momo smirked. "Back to the issue though, her body is telling her to do something she just can't do. She should be fine in a couple of months but at the moment the cocktail of emotions and urges within her will be causing her no end of trouble. If you are confused, Onee-sama is at least ten times as confused by the strange whirl of emotions she is suffering from right now."

"Is there nothing I can do?"

"Hmm…" Momo poked his stomach. "I guess if you could temporarily become devilukian you might be able to perform the ritual. But of course with you being a Delta class berserker…"

"That could result in me going crazy." Naruto sighed.

"I'll look into it for you," Momo kissed Naruto on his cheek, "God knows I'll probably reach that point shortly and I warn you, if you think Lala is bad, that is nothing on a berserker that wants to bind themselves to you."

"But you are a sealed berserker," Naruto pointed out.

"The seal can only do so much," Momo smirked before walking away, "I'm going to play volleyball with the others. See you in a bit."

"Okay," Naruto watched her leave until a cough got his attention.

"Hey Mikado…." Naruto froze. "Er…" He blinked stupidly.

"Does it suit me?" Mikado posed sexily.

"Where did you find that?" Naruto averted his gaze. She was wearing a dark red mankini, with two straps covering her nipples and little else.

"You didn't answer my question," Mikado smiled slyly.

"Naruto~" Kushina sauntered out wearing a similar outfit, "Oh great minds think alike!"

"Right" The two woman hugged, the breasts pushing together. "Care to join us in the hug?"

"Gah…" Naruto blinked, "I need… do things…" He quickly retreated.

"Is that our win?" Mikado asked.

"Maybe," Kushina grinned as she followed Naruto. "Oh Naruto~ If you need help relieving your tension I can help~"

* * *

"I got it!" Lala cheered as she jumped into the air and knocked the beach ball down at the floor.

"Not so fast!" Momo grinned as she dived and knocked the ball back into the air.

"No!" Nana leapt into the air and hit the ball before crashing into the sand.

"Ah!" Yui deflected the ball towards Kushina.

"Hmm…" Kenichi nodded sagely. "Are there any sights more beautiful than girls enjoying the springtime of their youth?"

"Hm?" Naruto mumbled.

'_**Seriously… Check out the bouncing on those babes! I mean Lala and Yui are positively stacked! Kushina and Mikado are practically living goddesses and that Momo's not too shabby either. As for Nana… she has other qualities I'm sure.' **_

'_How typical of a Damus to only see the surface attraction. The cute cheerful nature of Mikan, The somewhat aggressive exterior of Yami that hides her true innocence, the Tsundere nature of Nana, the purity of Haruna… Taiga for the win!' _

'_I don't want to know,' _Naruto blinked. It turned out that Raphael was something of an Otaku. She had already redecorated his mental space with pictures from Anime he hadn't even heard off, which raised the question how did she know about them. Of course this agitated Asmodea who couldn't influence his mind scape at all.

"Haruna-chan…" Rito blushed as he saw her smiling, her lavender swim suit showing off her curves and the glistening of the sea water trickling down her body was doing strange things to Rito's libido. "She so perfect."

"Why don't you tell her that?" Naruto asked.

"Eh?" Rito blushed, "Did I say that aloud?!"

"Poor Rito," Kenichi sighed. "The sun and pretty women are frying his brain."

"I'm going to find something to drink," Naruto stood up, casting one last glance over the girls. "Do you two want anything?"

"I'm fine," Kenichi sighed contently.

"Er…Me too." Rito smiled.

"Fair enough," Naruto headed towards the mansion. "How about you Mikado-sensei?"

"Hm?" Mikado was laid face down on a towel with the straps of her bikini off. "I could do with another application of sun tan oil if you'd be so kind."

"Do you promise not to make erotic noises this time?"

"I can't help it if you are so good at massaging me." Mikado replied with a sultry smile.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he applied to oil to his hands and began rubbing into her back.

"Oh yes… that's the spot…" Mikado moaned sensually.

"Really?" Naruto deadpanned. "Could you make that sound any more sexual?"

"Harder!" She gasped. "Faster!"

"I guess so," Naruto mumbled with a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Hm…" Mikado sighed disappointedly when Naruto finished. "I was hoping you'd last longer than that."

"Trust me if he was trying he would have lasted far longer," Risa smirked knowingly as she and the other girls headed back towards the others, drenched in sea water and panting from the effort of running around in the glorious sun shine.

"That's for sure," Kushina sighed happily.

"Right," Lala nodded.

"Really?" Mikado raised an eyebrow and looked at a highly embarrassed Naruto. "Someone has an active sex life." She chuckled, "Why I'd bet that you could even teach me a thing or two."

"Drink… going to get one!" Naruto stammered before retreating.

"And that ladies," Mikado smirked. "Is my victory."

"I disagree!" Momo crossed her arms, "He didn't kiss you or touch you in a sexual way. Those are the rules."

"I don't remember agreeing to that," Mikado chuckled softly, "But I'm up for the challenge."

"I envy the manly sage," Kenichi shook his head as the girl's plotted. "Though I cannot deny he deserves the good fortune that he has."

"You think he deserves it?" Rito tilted his head, "What did he do that makes you think of him so highly anyway?"

"Ah," Kenichi smiled fondly, "It was an epic battle of good and evil…"

_Flashback _

"Give it back!" A fourteen year old Kenichi tried to grab the ero-magazine from the older students who were holding it just out of his reach.

The leader holding the magazine smirked, "Well isn't this an interesting book."

"Right boss Soma!" One of the minions agreed.

"What's a matter little boy?" Soma smirked. "A little boy such as you shouldn't be reading this material. I'll have to confiscate it."

"Yeah," His two minions guffawed.

"Give it back!" Kenichi jumped up and grabbed the magazine but was punched hard in the stomach for his efforts causing him to double over and cough violently.

"Let go of the book," Soma growled as Kenichi curled up in ball with the magazine. "I said let go you little shit!" He started kicking Kenichi, joined by the other two minions.

"Hey," A fourteen year old Naruto cleared his throat. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"Oh someone wants to be a hero?" Soma jerked his head. "Deal with him."

"Right boss," One of the thugs pulled out a switchblade and advanced on him.

"Tch," Naruto took up a fighting stance as the thug lunged at him, easily side stepping the attack and bringing his elbow down on the would-be attacker's out stretched arm, causing him to drop his knife. Naruto grabbed the guy's hair and forced his head down, bringing his knee up to meet the enemy's head half way resulting in a satisfying crack as the thug went down with a broken nose and a concussion. "Next."

"Bastard!" The other minion charged him, wearing metal knuckle dusters closely followed by Soma with his steel toe capped boots.

Kenichi saw his chance and fled, begging that his mysterious saviour would forgive him. He hid around the corner where the sounds of the fighting could still be heard.

"You bastard!" Soma cried. "This isn't the end of this!"

"W-what?" Kenichi peered around the wall to see a ruffled Naruto scowling at the three fleeing figures.

"You alright?" Naruto turned to Kenichi as he adjusted his uniform.

"I'm fine thanks," Kenichi bowed his head. "I am sorry for fleeing."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto waved off his concern, "What were they after?"

"This!"

"… A porno mag? You allowed yourself to get beat up over a porno mag?"

"Yes?"

"Well…" Naruto found himself lost for words. "I… Well…" His phone started to ring. "One moment, Hello?" He answered the call. "I am a few minutes late…" He rubbed his forehead. "No I am not involved in an orgy. No I am not just saying that because I forgot to invite you. No I am not planning to elope with my 'harem'. I'll see you in five minutes. Yes, I promise." He hung up. "Sorry about that."

"Your girlfriend?"

"…Mother."

"… Oh." Kenichi blinked. "To think I have finally found you… Ero-Master!"

"Wait what?" Naruto took a step back.

"The legends told of a legendary pervert who was the source of all Ero in the universe." Kenichi's eyes glistened.

"Er… Okay…" Naruto started to walk away. "I'll be seeing you around then." He quickly fled.

"That uniform." Kenichi stroked his chin, "Is that a Sainan high uniform? How odd that I have never really seen him in school."

_Back to the Future _

"Oh," Rito was surprised, "I wasn't aware that you had been saved by him."

"From the moment on I made it my mission to understand the Legendary Pervert, the ultimate action Manly Sage!" Kenichi had tears streaming from his eyes.

"Er…" Rito suddenly felt the urge to distance himself from the emotional Kenichi, "I'll be… doing something." He hurriedly left Kenichi alone.

"Yuuki-kun?" Haruna noticed Rito heading towards them, "Is something wrong?" She brushed a stray lock of hair from her face and Rito found himself lost for words. "Where is Uzumaki-san?"

"He just went to get a drink," Rito smiled.

"I'm kind of thirsty too," Lala decided. "I'll go with him."

"I could do with a drink," Haruna agreed.

"Why don't we all go?" Rito suggested.

"No need for all of us to go," Momo shook her head. "Onee-sama knows what Nana and I like so she can get our drinks."

"Come on let's go!" Lala declared as she pulled Rito and Haruna with her. "It was nice of Saki-chan to invite us here!"

"Yes," Haruna smiled. "I didn't realise that she was on such good terms with Naruto."

"Me either," Rito agreed. "In fact I don't really think I've ever seen them talk that much."

"Well there was the time that she sent him that basket of fruits," Haruna pointed out. "When she thought Lala-chan and Uzumaki-san had broken up."

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "We will never break up! I love him so much." She smiled distantly. "My life was… empty before he found me." She whispered to herself.

"It must be nice," Haruna smiled, "To have someone that cares for you so much."

"You could know what that feels like too," Lala smiled.

"Eh?!" Haruna blushed. "I… What do you…?"

"I mean I'm sure there is someone who likes you," Lala continued.

"W-well…" Haruna looked at the floor. "I guess…"

"That's right," Rito clenched his fists and gathered his courage. "In fact… I… Well…"

"Yuuki-kun?" Haruna tilted her head.

"I… I… think Sarenji-san deserves a good boyfriend," Rito's shoulders slumped.

"Muu," Lala seemed disappointed as she led the way to the house.

"Oh," Haruna smiled softly at him, "Thank you Yuuki-kun. You deserve a good girlfriend as well."

"T-thanks," Rito forced a smile.

"Ooh!" Lala looked around as they entered the mansion, "I'm going to find Naruto! Can you two make your way to the drinks?"

"Err… sure." Rito nodded.

"Oh just one thing, follow me Rito-kun!" Lala dragged Rito away before pulling the d-dial from somewhere and pressing a few buttons.

"What are you doing?"

"Clearly you need some help," Lala declared as she summoned a strange heart shaped watch "This is Doki-Doki-kun! It measures the emotions coming off of someone else and tells you how they feel! This will let you know how Haruna-chan feels about you."

"Eh?! What do you…"

"Naruto has decided that he doesn't want to pursue Haruna-chan," Lala interrupted him. "And that he wants you to be with her," She scowled. "I don't understand it but I love Naruto and will support him in his decisions so…" She handed the small love heart watch over to Rito. "There you go!"

"Right…" Rito put on the watch and walked back to Haruna.

"Now…" Lala beamed, "Maybe I should go and find Naruto!" She headed off in the direction her Naruto senses were telling her to go.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he walked around the mansion. "Seriously, where the hell am I?" He muttered as walked around. The hallways all looked exactly the same and there were no signs to help him find his way. He came to a large pair of double doors and frowned. "Okay, this must clearly lead somewhere." He pushed them open and found himself inside a large indoor bath. "Man what a nice place." He whistled appreciatively.

It was like a marble Olympic sized swimming baths, with various heated fountains depicting mermaids spilling water from jugs and dolphins spouting water from their backs. There was a thin mist in the air from the heat of the room.

"Now something tells me I should get out of here before the fates drop me into trouble," Naruto turned around.

"Oh my," Saki smiled beautifully, "If you wanted to see me you could have just asked." She was wearing a towel and just about to enter the baths.

"Ah sorry," Naruto started away until Saki captured his arm and dragged him into the bath.

"Please don't go," Saki fluttered her eye lids, "I would love to talk to you." Saki allowed her towel to slip slightly to reveal a little cleavage. _'Stage 1 in my plan to seduce you and prove myself to be the true Queen of Sainan High.' _

"Your towel is slipping," Naruto smiled and adjusted it for her, "There you go. A noble woman such as yourself shouldn't be seen half naked with someone like me. It will give you a bad rep," He chuckled.

"Eh?" Saki blinked. _'W-what? Foiled at the first step?!' _She staggered as if she had been physically struck. "What do you mean?"

"I'm well known as a delinquent," Naruto ran a hand through his hair, "And you are a noble lady. And let's be honest you don't have any feelings for me."

"W-what?"

"Every time you were flirting with me, you were only looking at Lala, gauging her reaction." Naruto crossed his arms. "I don't know why you feel that you have to seduce me to upset her but I would recommend that you stop."

"I…" Saki's shoulders slumped. "I see," She shook her head, "I heard you were a wild animal that was controlled by his instincts. It appears I have been misinformed." She sat down in the bath.

"If you don't mind me asking," Naruto leant against one of the fountains, "Why are you so intent on upsetting Lala?"

"It isn't that I want to upset her," Saki corrected Naruto, "I am a Tenjouin. I _have _to be the best. Anything else would be an insult to my heritage, to my family."

"The best?"

"When Lala first appeared at the school, she became the new idol, the new girl who everyone loved. That used to be me," Saki sighed sadly. "That's why I have to defeat her. To prove my worth as a Tenjouin."

"I still don't get it," Naruto frowned, "If you want to be the most popular girl in school again then why do you have to seduce me?"

"I… well you're not exactly bad looking," Saki admitted, "And Lala took something from me that I valued…"

"And you seek to do the same to her?"

"I… When you put it like that," Saki sunk into the bath, "It makes me sound like a horrible person."

"Well…" Naruto looked uneasy, "Between that and your maid trying to assassinate me, I guess that you aren't exactly heroes in my book."

"Hanabi-chan can be a little extreme," Saki smiled softly, "But she means well. I don't expect you to understand why I had to this. I don't even fully understand it myself. But I can't just let myself be beaten. I am the Queen of Sainan High!"

"Why though?" Naruto tilted his head. "There has to be a reason other than because you are a Tenjouin."

"I… when I was a young girl there was a boy I had a crush on." Saki started. "He liked me too… up until I lost a beauty contest and then he decided he liked the winner. When I tried to win his affections again… I jeopardised Rin-chan's chances to win the national Kendo competition that she had been trying so hard to win."

"Really?"

"Yes… The boy…He had criminal links and convinced me to show up at a warehouse alone…" Saki spot quietly. "I… I was kidnapped on the day of Rin-chan's regional final to be sold as… as…" She broke off.

"You don't have to continue," Naruto smiled at her. _'I'm pretty sure I know how this story ends.' _

"Thanks," She smiled softly. "Since then… I always hated losing, it reminded me of how much it cost me back then and if… Well it is stupid."

"What's stupid?"

"I was drugged so I couldn't escape… but I vaguely remember a masked hero saving me. But then he was shot in the arm protecting me and I… I can't really remember anything after that. The next thing I knew I was back at my house with Rin-chan and Aya-chan. Rin-chan was in a really bad mood because one of her friends had bailed on her and I didn't want to make her mood worse by telling her I got kidnapped so… I never did." She smiled at Naruto, an honest smile unlike the ones she had shown him earlier, "Thanks it was good to get this off of my chest."

"Anytime," Naruto smiled at her. "We might not be that close but I'd still like to be friends no?"

"Friends," Saki blinked before smiling, "Yes… I think I would like that."

"Great," Naruto grinned cheekily. "And as for your vendetta against Lala," He rubbed the back of his head, "I won't say I approve of it but… there are better ways to prove your worth. Challenge her to some sort of contest or something."

"As you wish," Saki bowed her head with a slight smile. "I must say… you are nothing like the rumours say you to be."

"I get that a lot," Naruto laughed.

"In fact…" Saki smiled at him, "I think you're…"

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the wall exploding, sending a large chunk of masonry at Naruto and smashing him into the wall.

"Naruto!" Saki cried out in alarm.

"Your boyfriend?" A female voice chuckled darkly and a woman with a long blonde ponytail and a black cat-suit emblazoned with a panther walked in, a desert eagle in one hand and a grenade in the other.

"Who are you?" Saki scowled. "And why did you kill Naruto?!"

"My name is Yugito Nii," She bowed her head, "And I am here to kidnap you."

"Why?"

"Because you are stinking rich," Yugito shook her head, "And we need that money."

"Who is we?" Saki asked.

"You'll meet the master soon enough. If you're lucky he might even help you ascend past your frail human limitations as he did with me."

"Personally," Naruto groaned as he crawled out of the rubble, mostly unharmed from the surprise attack. "I think Suki is fine as she is."

"Naruto?" Saki blushed. "Wait… my names Saki!"

"Oh? You're alive." Yugito licked her lips. "You could be fun to play with."

"Sorry," Naruto wiped blood away from his bleeding lip, "I'm already spoken for."

"We'll see…" Yugito pointed the gun at him, "Maybe this will change your mind."

"Nope," Naruto stretched out. "Guns don't frighten me."

"Shame," She pulled the trigger.

"See," Naruto smirked as his hand seemed to flicker from view before reappearing, twirling the fired bullet between his fingers.

"W-what?" Saki and Yugito were shocked.

"So… you are enhanced as well?" Yugito purred, "The Master told me there were others. Defeating you will prove my worth."

"Who is your master?"

"You need not know his name. He sees the limited fate of humanity… We are destined to die out but my master sees a path for our survival… To cast aside our humanity and ascend!" Yugito erupted into blue flames and when they cleared she was a humanoid cat, covered in blue fur with piercing amber eyes.

"Sacrificing our humanity is the same as dying out," Naruto spat.

"Save you prattling for someone who cares!" Yugito conjured a ball of blue fire, "Just burn to ashes!" She snarled as she hurled the blue ball towards Naruto.

"Tch," Naruto rolled out of the way as the blue fireball detonated behind him. "Is that all you've got?"

"Hardly!" Yugito snarled as she leapt towards Naruto, her nails growing and starting to burn with a blue fire. "Neko no Tsume!" She lashed out at him, leaving a glowing blue trail where her transformed nails passed through the air.

"I suppose now would be as good a time as any to test out some of my new skills," Naruto smirked as he leapt backwards, holding out his right arm, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and mine is the crest of Raphael!" There was an explosion of blue light that send Yugito skidding backwards.

"What is this power?!" Her eye's widened.

"Amazing," Saki whispered. "To think that he has so much power…"

When the light cleared Naruto was stood, wearing ghostly blue chainmail with two angelic wings behind him.

"What… what are you?" Yugito snarled.

"Tsubasa Toppu (A/N: Wing Gust) !" Naruto's wings flapped, causing a sudden gust of wind to send Yugito soaring backward where she crashed through one of the ornate fountains.

"I will not lose!" Yugito snarled. "Earth's very future depends on my mission's success!" She conjured to fireballs and hurled them at Naruto, who shielded himself with his wings.

"Tch," Naruto frowned, "I can see you are going to be a nuisance." He pulled a feather from his wings and squeezed it, "Excalibur!" He roared as the feather erupted into a blade of light and he raced towards Yugito, skimming across the water as his wings carried him through the air.

"Neko no Tsume!" Yugito snarled, her nails growing even longer as she met Naruto's charge in mid-air, her claws crackling with energy as they tried to overpower Naruto's Excalibur. "No… This… cannot…" Her nails shattered under the energy being channelled through them and she watched in a horror as Naruto's attack continued towards her as the two fell into the bath. She leapt backwards but Naruto's wings allowed him to alter his flight and quickly close down on her. He grabbed her by the throat and slammed her into the wall, the other hand holding Excalibur ready to finish her.

"Do you worst," Yugito closed her eyes.

"Argh!" Naruto stabbed Excalibur into the wall next to her ear. "Tell me who your master is."

"I would rather die, like you will when the master finds out about you." Yugito spat into his face.

"Oh really." Naruto took a deep breath. "Shoten!" He roared causing his ghostly armour to go solid and another pair of wings to sprout from his back. The sheer presence of his power was making Yugito start to lose consciousness. "You go back to your master and tell him that if he wants Saki, he will have to go over Naruto Uzumaki's dead body."

"W-what are you?" Yugito whispered.

"Weren't you listening," Naruto dispelled his aura and walked over to the shell shocked Saki, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki; I'm a human." He called over his shoulder to the stunned assassin.

"Naruto…" Saki ran up to him, "I… thank you." She bowed her head.

"Don't worry about it."

"DON'T IGNORE ME!" Yugito roared as she pulled out the handgun and pointed it at Naruto.

"Don't you know when your beat."

"If we can't have Saki no one can!" Yugito pointed the gun at Saki and pulled the trigger.

'_It's happening again!' _Saki thought with tears in her eyes as Naruto pushed her aside and the bullet struck him in the shoulder. _'It's just like that dream.'_

"Damn," Naruto cursed.

"Why?" Saki asked as she got to her feet.

"Why?" Naruto tilted his head. "Well isn't it a hero's job to save pretty princesses?" He smiled.

"What…" Saki's eyes widened. "It can't be…" She murmured.

"So then," Naruto cracked his neck. "You want to try that again!"

"Screw you!" Yugito emptied her clip at Naruto who caught all the bullets

"No screw you!" Naruto pulled two feathers from his wings, letting them turn into two balls of energy levitating in front of his palms which he had facing Yugito, "Hikari no Yari (A/N Light Spear)!" The orbs blasted towards Yugito who crossed her arms in front her face and detonated on impact, sending her hurtling backwards through several expensive looking fountains.

"I… I can't lose…" Yugito struggled to her feet.

There was a series of loud bangs and Yugito fell to the floor, several tranquiliser darts stuck in her.

"I apologise for the delay," Hanabi bowed her head as she slung a rifle over her shoulder.

"Ah Hanabi-chan." Saki smiled.

"Psycho maid."

There was a gun shot.

"Ouch," Naruto pulled the dart from his arm.

"…Oops," Hanabi blinked. "I must have not put the safety on."

"Urgh," Naruto fell over.

"…Should I remove the body?" Hanabi asked.

"They are both still alive," Saki chided her lightly.

"That can be changed," A kukri blade appeared in both of the maid's hands.

"The assassin may have details on who wants me kidnapped," Saki shook her head. "We will take her to father."

"And Naruto?"

"…I'm still alive…" Naruto mumbled.

There were three more gun shots.

"Damn it…" Naruto collapsed with a snore.

"I should really get that safety checked." Hanabi adjusted the rifle on her shoulder

"Hanabi-chan…" Saki rubbed her forehead but the sudden ringing of her phone interrupted her. "Oh… Rin-chan? You are on your way? That's great! I was planning on throwing a large party and it would be great if you were here. I'll see you soon," Saki hung up with a smile, "Take Naruto to his friends and tell them I am planning to have a little meal before they leave."

"As you wish," Hanabi lifted on of Naruto's legs and dragged him out of the bath, deliberately walking down the stairs and smirking as Naruto hit his head on every step.

It was the small things that made her love her job as a ninja-mercenary-maid.

* * *

"So…" Haruna smiled, "What do you want to drink?"

"Er…" Rito blushed as he stared at the drinks machine. "I… I guess." He was interrupted by a large explosion causing the building to shake.

"Argh!" Haruna hugged Rito to her and shivered in fear.

[Haruna's breasts are touching me!]

"W-what?" Haruna jumped backwards.

"I didn't say that!" Rito glanced down at the watch Lala had given him.

[It must be this stupid watch!]

"It's reading my mind!" Rito panicked.

"Why did Lala give you that watch?" Haruna asked.

[Because she thinks I need help in…]

"I DON'T KNOW!" Rito tugged on the watch which refused to come free.

"Yuuki-kun?" Haruna looked concerned when another explosion caused her to shriek in fear and grab onto Rito.

"Sarenji-san?" Rito blushed furiously and tried not to think about the situation.

"W-what do we do?" She asked frightfully.

"Er…" Rito was unsure what to do.

"We should go find Uzumaki-san," Haruna suggested. "I'm sure he'd know what to do."

"No," Rito cut her off, "I mean… I can sort this out." He finished weakly.

"Really?"

"Really," Rito looked fired up.

[Maybe I can impress Haruna-chan!]

"Eh?" Haruna blushed.

"Er.. that is…" Rito started sweating profusely, causing the watch to give off smoke and explode in a shower of sparks.

"You… you want to impress me?" Haruna tilted her head in a way that Rito found adorable.

"Y-yes." Rito clenched his fists. _'This is it!' _"You see I…"

"Ah there you are," Hanabi interrupted. "This moron needs taking to your friends." Hanabi was dragging the snoring Naruto by his leg.

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna ran towards the unconscious male leaving a frozen Rito staring into space. "Is he okay?"

"Unfortunately." Hanabi left the blonde. "Saki-sama requests all your presence at a large party before you leave."

"Of course," Haruna smiled, "Er… Yuuki-san could you give me a hand?"

"Huh?" Rito sighed sadly. "Yes, sure." He glanced at the happily sleeping Naruto. _'Sometimes… Sometimes I really hate you Naruto.' _He closed his eyes and swallowed the bile in his throat, _'Even though I know this isn't really your fault. I am such a horrible person… 'Rito_ sank into a dark mood as they helped Naruto back to the others.

* * *

If there was one thing that the Tenjouin did well, it was extravagant parties. Saki had thrown a feast for them, thanking them for coming and hoping it would signal the start of a great friendship between all of them.

Naruto was simply sat watching as everyone chatted happily.

"This was a nice trip," Zastin remarked as he walked towards Naruto, carrying a plate with all sorts of odd snacks on it. "I must say Earth cuisine is quite interesting! The sparkling strawberry drink is also quite refreshing!"

"Really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "As far as I can tell you are the only one here drinking it. It's an acquired taste… Rin-chan used to drink it all the time when we were friends."

"I can see why," Zastin nodded. "Now if you excuse me Naruto-dono, there are many other treats that I wish to sample!"

"Glad you're enjoying yourself," Naruto chuckled as Zastin continued walking around with a plate and fork.

"Hey," Lala hugged his arm cheerfully as she walked up to him.

"That's a really nice looking dress," Naruto smiled fondly, "It almost looks like a wedding dress."

"I know right," Lala span around cheerfully. "Saki-chan gave it to me!" She tilted her head, "She said it was an apology although I don't know what for," She frowned cutely.

"Possibly an apology for not getting to know you earlier?" Naruto suggested.

"Really?" Lala beamed. "I like her!"

"She's… a good person I think, just a little proud."

"*Cough* Hypocrite *cough*," Momo joined them. She was wearing a sensual black dress and black heels.

"That sounds like a nasty cough you've got there." Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"I know," Momo stuck her tongue out and went to harass Nana, who was animatedly chatting with an amused Mikan and blank faced Yami.

"Everyone seems to be having fun," Naruto remarked.

"Except you," Lala cuddled into his side, "You seem a little sad."

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled, "Should have known I couldn't pull the wool over your eyes."

"I can read you like a book," Lala murmured as she drowned herself in Naruto's scent.

"Heh," Naruto gave her a brief kiss on the head, "As expected of my future empress."

"Hehehe," Lala giggled as she broke away from Naruto. "But what is upsetting you?"

"A few things," He nodded his head to where Rito was sat at a table by himself. "Rito seems a little angry with me and I wish I knew why. Plus Rin is angry with me and has actually taken great lengths to avoid meeting me here. I know how important guarding Saki is to Rin, the fact she isn't here means she really, _really _doesn't want to see me."

"She is that important to you?"

"She used to be one of my closest friends." Naruto closed his eyes. "We trained together when I was competing in Kendo tournaments."

"Why did you stop entering in them?"

"Well…" Naruto shut his eyes and leaned back against a wall next to the door leading into the feast. "It was the night of the Regional finals, Rin and I were to face each other and the winner got the chance to enter the National competitions… I can remember I was in the Gama dojo preparing for the fight. Bunta, the Dojo's leader, had heard that there were some criminal elements interested in betting on the game. He had some of his former students looking into possible complications when they discovered a plot to rig the result of the game."

_Flashback_

"I can't wait!" Naruto whined as he practiced his swordplay, sparring against a panting Kichi.

"Aniki…" Kichi panted, "Can't keep up."

"Alright that's enough. Continue your exercises Kichi and for the love of Sake would you calm down brat," Bunta frowned at his energetic apprentice, "Do your meditation exercises already."

"But me and Rin-chan," Naruto grinned, "We've been training for this battle since like forever!"

"So you'd best get in the right state of mind so as not to disappoint her right?" Bunta growled.

"Right!" Naruto nodded. "This championship means the world to Rin-chan."

"Boss!" The door to the dojo flung open and a youth with two bokuto on his back raced inside. "Bad news boss!"

"Bad news?" Bunta narrowed his one good eye. "What're you talking about?"

"The Saki girl's been kidnapped."

"Saki?" Naruto's eyes widened in horror, "That's the girl Rin-chan guard's right?"

"Hmm," Bunta nodded, "What are their demands?"

"They want Rin to throw the fight."

"Like hell!" Naruto growled. "Kendo is Rin-chan's passion! I can't let some… some bad guys ruin her passion for her!"

"Tch," Bunta snorted, "Shouldn't you be happy? That would make you the regional champion."

"Maybe so," Naruto frowned, "But if I don't earn the title what does it really mean?"

"Well spoken," Bunta laughed. "I trust you know where they are?"

"Of course," The youth sounded affronted.

"Good," Bunta grabbed a Bokuto off the wall, "Let's show 'em how the Gama clan deals with those who interfere with our business."

"Technically they aren't," The youth started.

"They are operating in our territory," Bunta corrected him, "That makes it our business."

"…Whatever you say boss."

_Back to the Present _

"What happened next?" Lala's eyes were wide.

"Well…" Naruto sighed, "Bunta and I, we found were they were hiding Saki and saved her. In order to protect the Gama dojo we were wearing masks so that the criminals couldn't do identify us. We managed to subdue them because Bunta is surprisingly awesome at fighting for a crotchety old man and we saved Saki but… One of the Yakuza had a gun and… and they fired at Saki. I panicked and pushed her out of the way and got hit by the bullet. It messed up my shoulder pretty bad. The doctor that the Gama clan knew said I would never be able to use my left arm again." He clenched his left fist. "Of course I always beat the odds but I was in hospital for a good few weeks. When I finally got out I found out that Rin had lost her fight in the Nationals and when I went to offer her some support she blamed me for her loss and said that we were no longer friends."

"I'm sorry," Lala hugged him.

"Not your fault," Naruto returned the hug. "I had Bunta look into things and apparently that Neji guy had something to do with it."

"Neji?"

"The guy who was going to marry Risa."

"Oh," Lala scowled cutely. "I hope you beat him up!"

"I gave him a bit of a lesson," He chuckled. "I'm nipping outside for some fresh air. My head feels a little muggy," Naruto wandered onto a balcony where he relaxed in the afternoon sun.

Lala watched him go before making a beeline to Mikado.

"Lala-san," Mikado smiled at her, "You look amazing. If I'd have known we were dressing up I wouldn't have just come with my work uniform," She laughed.

"Er… Could I have a check-up?" Lala asked.

"Pardon?"

"I… It's just I've been feeling really weird recently and…" Lala bit her lip, "I want to check that everything is alright."

"Sure," Mikado nodded. "When we get back how about I run a full set of tests on you."

"Right," Lala nodded eagerly. "It's probably nothing but… I just want to make sure."

"I'm sure you're fine," Mikado smiled.

"I hope you're right," Lala smiled as she stared after Naruto. "This life of mine is so happy… I don't want anything to ruin it." She clenched her fists. "I will not lose this happiness."

"That's the spirit," Mikado joined her at staring at Naruto's back. "We only live so long… best to make the most of it whilst we can."

"Right," Lala nodded. "Hey Naruto!" She ran over to him cheerfully, completely oblivious to the half-drunk glass of sparkling strawberry that was next to the door where she and Naruto had been talking.


	20. Chapter 20: Bat Country

To Love 'Ruto

A/N:Hey folks another update!

Not happy with this chapter (I know I say that alot lately) as it is a little darker than others but next chapter will be a more cheerful one.

Through His Eyes will be updated shortly but I can't say when exactly.

Nothing else really to say so... Enjoy!

Special Thanks to my Beta Shinnigami

Disclaimer: I'm sure you've all got the idea by now.

* * *

Chapter 20: Bat Country

'_He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.' – Samuel Johnson_

The two figures stood several feet apart from each other, sizing one another up across the dojo. Whilst the figures were wearing full samurai armour, including the face masks, it was clear that the smaller of the two was more cautious that the taller. The blade in the smaller challenger's arms was shaking, admittedly so slightly that even if you were looking you would find it very difficult to spot but to a swords master the fear was as obvious as if the contender was physically wetting themselves.

"Begin," The taller figure growled before flickering from view, reappearing within striking range of the younger figure who gave a cry of alarm and managed to parry the attack, sparks flying where the swords met.

"Tch," The youth leapt backwards, the sword becoming a blur of impossibly fast strikes that were all effortlessly deflected by the taller opponent, the sparks from the impacts looking like several small fireworks igniting between the two combatants.

"Slow," The elder flickered from view again but this time the youth rolled away from the attack and lashed out at the unprotected leg of the aggressor, who merely slammed his foot on the blade and pinned it to the floor before holding his own blade to her throat. "Hm, You lose." He removed the blade and sheathed it. "Apologise to the blade you dishonoured granddaughter."

"Forgive my dishonour," The woman whispered to the blade as she cleaned and sheathed it. "I never even got close."

"You fought better today Rin-chan." The taller figure removed the mask and smiled at her fondly. His face was weathered with scars of various battles but in his one good eye was looking at her fondly.

"Hai Ji-chan," Rin took off her helmet and wiped away the sweat. "So what's that? 39 losses and 1 draw."

"Not bad for a day's work," He laughed. "Your blade seemed happier today."

"Oh?"

"Did something good happen?" He grinned, "Have you found a boy you like? "

"You shall taste blood this day," Rin growled to the blade as she went to draw it.

"Ahahahaha!" Her grandfather laughed, "That's my little firebrand."

"I am just in a good mood," Rin lowered the sword and cleared her throat. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well," The man scratched his chin, "You haven't been this happy since you were sparring with that street rat all those years ago."

"Naruto," Rin scowled, "He has a name."

"Ohoh?"

"W-what?"

"You used to call him Uzumaki! You kissed and made up didn't you!"

"I… No of course not!" Rin took a deep breath to calm herself. "We… We still haven't really spoken since then."

"So he wasn't at the party then?"

"I… How do you know about that?"

"Ahahahaha!"

"Grandpa…" Rin sighed as the old man laughed heartily.

"Still," Her grandfather stroked his chin, "If you ask me the two of you were a good fit."

"He… He has a girlfriend already," Rin shook her head. "And I have my duty to Saki-sama."

"He does?" Gramps chuckled evilly, "He has my cute lil' Rin-chan and dates someone else… We'll see about that… Kukukuku…"

"He doesn't 'have' me," Rin mumbled flustered. "And as I said I don't have time to date as…"

"You are serving me?" Saki smiled as she walked into the dojo, "I apologise for entering, I know you don't like people in your dojo but I couldn't stand outside a listen a moment longer."

"Saki-sama!" Rin bowed her head, "I… I am not complaining. It is an honour to serve…"

"You are not my servant," Saki put her arms on Rin's shoulders. "You are my friend."

"Saki-sama…"

"Rin…" Saki smiled at her long-time friend. "If you love Naruto then…"

"Not you too Saki-sama!" Rin's shoulder's dropped.

"Oh look at you," Saki laughed, "I remember my first crush."

"How'd that end up?" Rin asked, "If you don't mind me asking of course."

"It ended… poorly." Saki flinched.

"Oh..." Rin looked down, "I apologise."

"No apology required, it's not your fault." Saki smiled, "But I have to agree with your gramps, you have been in a better mood recently. Have you received some good news?"

"Well…" Rin bit her lip, "I suppose it's kind of good news but also bad news."

* * *

"What do you mean?" Lala looked confused. "How can it be both?"

"Well," Mikado glance at the tests she was looking at. "It… It could be a good thing. Definitely in the right circumstances it would be a good thing."

"Are these the right circumstances?"

"I… I don't think so," Mikado's shoulders slumped.

"Oh." Lala twiddled her thumbs nervously. "I see… Can I ask… what is wrong with me?"

"Well… It isn't really something that is wrong with you per say…" Mikado handed the test sheets to Lala.

"Impossible," She shook her head, "That… I can't be…"

"I know," Mikado bit her lip.

"The… I've only ever been with Naruto," Lala shook her head and tossed the clipboard to one side. "I can't be pregnant. Naruto is…"

"Sterile due to the seal yes," Mikado picked up the clipboard.

"Test me again," Lala pleaded.

"I have, several times." Mikado cleared her throat. "I mean… Is there _any _explanation you can think of for how this happened?"

"I…" Lala looked horrified at her insinuation. "I haven't cheated on Naruto! I love him!"

"I never said you did."

"No one other than Naruto has ever been with me." Lala blinked. "Is his seal failing? That must be it."

"It is a possibility," Mikado nodded. "I will check his seal later on but the fact is…"

"What?"

"If the seal _was _failing Naruto would be showing signs." Mikado looked apologetically at Lala. "I honestly don't believe that is the cause here."

"But…" Lala started crying. "What else could it be?"

"Have you… slept alone in an area where someone could break in?" Mikado swallowed the bile building in her throat. "Where someone could…"

"No!" Lala slammed her hands on the bed, "I always sleep with Naruto!"

"Are you sure?" Mikado looked around uneasily. "I mean there are shapeshifting aliens and…"

"No," Lala shook her head furiously. "I would know. Naruto and I… we share a bond!"

"Right," Mikado nodded. "Then… There must be some sort of flaw with the seal," Mikado reassured the distraught alien princess who left the nurses office visibly shaken. "For both of your sakes I hope that." Mikado turned her attention to the results from Naruto's last test.

* * *

"Urgh," Naruto groaned as he slowly marched out of the classroom. "I hate school."

"How dare they limit the time you spend with your harem, master!" Kenichi declared, "This government is corrupt!"

"Er… sure," Naruto sighed heavily, "I'm heading to see Mikado-sensei. I'll see you guys later."

"Are you not feeling well Uzumaki-san?" Haruna asked, concern evident in her voice.

"I'm fine," He smiled at her, "I'm just going to get Lala. She said she was going to talk to Mikado about something."

"Oh right," Haruna smiled.

"Don't wait for me," Naruto waved as he ran off into the direction of the nurse's office.

"Lala-chan is so lucky," Haruna sighed. _'To have someone who worries about them so much…'_

"Oh?" Rito twitched slightly but made no further comment as the two walked up to the roof, Kenichi following them and rambling about the injustices Naruto constantly faced.

"Hello?" Naruto peered into the nurse's office, "Is anybody here?"

"Naruto?" Mikado smiled at him, although he couldn't help but notice it was a little strained. "Just the man I was looking for."

"Is Lala still here?"

"She went home," Mikado shook her head, "I'm afraid I can't tell you why, Doctor-Patient confidentiality."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "Well I'll just ask her when I see her at home."

"While you're here… there's something I want to do," Mikado nodded, "Just a few checks that I want to run on you."

"Okay," Naruto shrugged. "What do you need me to do?"

"Just take your shirt off."

"Er… alright?" Naruto removed the article of clothing.

"Hmm…." She pointed a strange looking pen at Naruto that emitted a thin blue line of light that seemed to scan his entire body several times before beeping. "Let's see." She checked her clipboard as a 3D hologram of Naruto appeared before her.

"Wow," Naruto grinned. "That's kind of cool."

"Oh this?" Mikado replied half-heartedly, "It's just basic scanning tech."

"This is basic?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Wait a second. If this is so basic and tells you everything you need to know why you have had me naked and going through several exercises the last few times you've been running tests?"

"I'm a single woman and I spend all my life running after you and fixing you up when you get injured badly," Mikado tilted her head, "Forgive me for allowing myself some entertainment."

"I took you to a beach party, wasn't that entertainment enough? Plus I mostly heal myself so you rarely have to do anything."

"…Worth a shot," Mikado stuck her tongue out. "Hmm… No good."

"What?"

"Nothing," Mikado walked over to a filing cabinet and pulled out a different probe. "This one is a little more advanced. Please stand still."

"Alright?" Naruto frowned slightly. "Can you tell me what you are looking for?"

"A defect in the seal holding back your devilukian nature."

"Oh," Naruto shivered. "That would be bad wouldn't it?"

"Possibly," Mikado refused to explain what she meant as she carried test after test out on him with no success. "Damn it."

"What? Is there a problem with my seal?"

"It's twisted and warped but it is still functioning correctly." Mikado rubbed her forehead.

"Which is a good thing right?" Naruto tilted his head.

"I… Yes I suppose it is." Mikado smiled weakly.

"What is wrong?" Naruto crossed his arms. "Is… Is this to do with Lala's illness?"

"Yes," Mikado nodded.

"Is this because I can't become a devilukian and bind with her?"

"What?"

"Momo told me that Lala was acting weird because she wanted to bind with me."

"Y-yes!" Mikado leapt at the opening, "That's it."

"…Okay?" Naruto gave Mikado a funny look, "Can I go now?"

"Sure," Mikado nodded.

"Well I'll be seeing you I guess," Naruto left the nurse's office with a bad feeling. "Mikado was definitely concerned about something. I'll go talk to Lala, maybe she can shed some light on this whole situation." Any thoughts on what was wrong with the doctor were swept aside as he saw a massive crowd of boys at the entrance to the school.

"Well this looks interesting," Naruto walked over, forcing his way through the crowd. "Looks like Lala's fans are out in force today. I'd best go rescue her."

"What's your star sign?" A male voice yelled out.

"Oh… I'm afraid I don't know the star signs you use here." A familiar female voice responded.

"What year are you?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Will you go out with me?"

"Oh my," Momo blushed and fidgeted with the hem of the skirt of the Sainan high Uniform she was wearing. "I'm sorry but I'm seeing someone."

"Oh?" The mood of the male crowd grew more desperate, "I'll do anything you ask if you go on a date with me!"

"I'll be your slave! If you're into that sort of thing!"

"You can abuse me all you want!"

"Ahahaha," Momo sweat dropped, _'Tch… This lowlifes are getting on my nerves. Where is Naruto?' _

"Momo?" Naruto managed to get through the crowd.

"He knows who she is?" The desperate mood turned to depressed.

"Naruto!" Momo cheered and hugged him.

"Damn you manly sage!" The crowd began to break up.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "And why are you dressed like that?"

"You like it?" She twirled for him, "I was thinking of joining the school."

"Well," Naruto rubbed his chin, "It would be good for you to integrate with humanity and going to school would be a good way of doing that but why the sudden interest?"

"I want to be around you more," Momo replied honestly.

"Gah," Naruto blushed from her honest response. "I… well I'm flattered. I'd like to spend more time with you as well."

"So you wouldn't mind?" Momo captured Naruto's arm in a hug, "I'm glad! I can't wait to tell Nana and Onee-sama!"

"Does Nana want to go to school as well?"

"Probably," Momo grinned, "We can put her in a kindergarten class so she is with girls with a similar body shape. Ow!" Momo rubbed her head where Naruto had lightly bopped her.

"You know Nana is sensitive about her body," Naruto shook his head. "Stop teasing her alright?"

"Yes master," Momo bowed her head.

"Don't call me that," Naruto glanced around as the whispers started.

"Oh? Sorry master! Don't punish me like you did last night with the latex suit!"

"Okay! I'm sorry for hitting you!" Naruto whispered in her ear but the damage was done and by this time tomorrow all the school would have heard the rumour that Naruto had a BDSM slave lover.

"Good," She stuck her tongue out, "Where is Onee-sama?"

"She went home, not feeling too good apparently." Naruto walked out of the school with Momo hugging his arm between her breasts.

"Hm…" Momo narrowed her eyes. "This binding issue could be more serious than I first thought."

"I don't like the sound of that," Naruto reached into his pocket to get his phone. "I'll text her to see.. oh damn it." He scowled. "I must have left my phone up in Mikado's office."

"I'll go get it," Momo volunteered. "You head home and check on Onee-sama."

"It would be easier for me to find it…" Naruto started.

"Hurry home! I want to explore my future school."

"Fine," Naruto sighed and walked away. "I'll see you at home!"

Momo nodded and wandered into the school. Most of the students had already left and the few stragglers spared her a glance before returning to getting ready to head home.

"So this is where Naruto spends most of his time when he's not training," Momo smiled as she walked down the hallways. "This school sounds like it could be fun." She laughed as she followed the signs for the nurse's office.

"Mikado?" Momo peered inside and blinked, "Anybody here?" She frowned as she entered the nurse's office.

"Just me, my sweet angel of death."

"You!" Momo span to face a hooded figure who softly chuckled.

"You have nothing to fear from me, I am just trying to set you free."

"You're trying to turn me into a monster," Momo growled at her suitor.

"Is it my fault if you true nature is that of a monster? Living this lie is not doing you any good. How will the human you hang around with feel when he knows of your past crimes?"

"I am no monster," Momo frowned, "And Naruto knows that. Onee-sama knows that I wasn't me when I…"

"Killed all those innocent people?"

"I…" Momo flinched.

"That is what you really are." Kabuto whispered from under his cloak as he slowly walked towards her. "You are indiscriminate death to all around you and when Naruto learns the truth…"

"No…" Momo's eyes widened, "You can't…"

"Can't?" Kabuto laughed. "Already have."

"No!" Momo yelled at him and tried to hit the cloaked figure who leapt out of an open window, "You bastard! I'll… I'll get you for this!"

"Spoken like a true monster."

"W-what?" She span around to see a scowling Naruto. "I…"

"So it's true," Naruto advanced on her, "All this time I thought you were an innocent girl you were actually a monster in disguise?"

"No!" Momo waved her hands, "It wasn't like that! My first seal was not reliable!"

"And?"

"It failed in a public place… the monster inside of me… it…" Momo choked back a sob.

"You don't have to say anymore," Naruto whispered softly.

"Naruto…"

"Just die."

"W-what?"

Naruto lunged at her with a knife causing her to leap backwards.

"Why?!" She screamed at him, "Why are you doing this?"

"You are a danger to everyone I love," He spat, "You are a threat and for the sake of my precious people I must kill you."

"B-but the new seal is much better!"

"That's a chance I am not willing to take!" Naruto roared and charged at her with the knife.

"Get away!" Momo screamed and pushed Naruto away, her super strength knocking him through a wall where he was impaled on a broken gas pipe.

"Tch…" Naruto coughed up blood, "As expected of a monster…" He hissed before slumping dead.

"N…Naruto?" Momo whispered as she walked up to his body. "No… I didn't… I…"

"You never do though do you?" An angry voice hissed.

"Onee-sama?" Momo span around to see a disgusted Lala behind her. "I…"

"Same your excuses," Lala spat. "You killed the only person I ever truly loved." She clenched her fists. "As of this moment you are not my sister. You are just a monster that needs removing."

"No…" Momo staggered backwards.

"Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster!" Lala yelled at her.

"I'm not… I'm not…" Momo fell to her knees trying to cover her ears. "I am not a monster!"

"MONSTER!" Lala roared and charged at her.

"No!" Momo tried to escape by Lala grabbed her tail and slammed her into the ground.

"Monster!" She hissed into her ear.

"SHUT UP!" Momo roared and punched out at Lala, causing her to fly back and crack her head on a table, slumping to the floor with glazed eyes.

"Onee-sama…" Momo looked in horror at the still forms of Naruto and Lala, "I… I…"

"Shh…" Kabuto entered through the window. "This was how it was always going to end."

"I…"

"It's okay," Kabuto put a hand on her head, "This is what you are and I accept it."

"No… I…"

"Here…" Kabuto handed over a small vial, "This will help you let go of all of your troubles. All the pain, the anger, the sadness… all of it will fade away. Give in to the beast and find your peace of mind."

"I…" Momo sobbed as she drank the vial and passed out.

"Mission accompli…" Kabuto never got to finish his words as Momo's eyes opened, red and slitted and with a feral roar she lashed out at the assassin, her hands coated in thick red energy that sliced the assassin into ribbons. His head rolled to one side with a confused expression before he died.

Momo let out a furious roar and sniffed the air, walking up to a locker and sniffing it before scowling and walking over to the window. **"Kill…" **She growled. **"Kill… Pain… Stop…" **With another feral roar she leapt out of the window in search of prey. The hunt was on.

'_Oh my gods…' _A bound Mikado shivered in fear from the locker she had been stuffed in. _'A rogue delta class… we are all doomed.'_

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Yui pursed her lips as a loud roar echoed throughout Sainan.

"It didn't sound good did it?" Risa glanced at Yui, "Maybe we should get Naruto to investigate?"

"I don't want to send him into trouble," Yui shook her head, "We can always investigate so long as we don't get too close we should be fine right?"

"I guess," Risa looked less than convinced. "Maybe we should call for some back up though."

"Right," Yui scrolled through her phone contacts, "I'll try Lala…. Strange no answer. Maybe Momo? Why are none of them answering?"

"How about Nana?"

"Ringing her now." Yui tapped her foot impatiently.

"Hello?" Nana's voice sounded over the phone.

"Oh hello," Yui sighed in relief. "I've been trying to get in touch with your sisters do you know where they are?"

"They haven't come home yet," Nana mumbled. "Probably doing stupid perverted things with that perverted beast."

"I'm sure they're not," Yui twitched slightly, "Naruto would not be as shameless as to…"

"Sleep with two women at once?" Risa smirked. "Girl you have no idea just what he is capable of in the sack."

"S-shameless!" Yui pointed at Risa who stuck her tongue out.

"I'm guess the perverted blonde is with you," Nana sounded unimpressed. "Why do you need Ane-ue and Nee-chan?"

"We heard a loud roar that unnerved us and were going to investigate," Yui stated.

"That sounds stupid," Nana declared. "I am the best at talking to wild animals! You should have asked me to help you!"

"Oh?" Yui blinked, "I forgot about your ability. Could you help us?"

"…I've nothing better to do," Nana mumbled. "I'll bring Naruto as well… Just in case of course. It isn't as if I want him with me or something!"

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to, he gets himself into trouble as it is and I don't want to be responsible for him getting hurt…" Yui trailed off.

"And if you got hurt and didn't ask him for help do you know how angry he would be with you?" Nana countered. "You know he is a bit over protective at times and would rather lose an arm that have any of his precious people get a scratch."

"Well…" Yui's shoulders slumped. "When you put it like that… I guess I'll try and ring him too."

"Where is the noise coming from?"

"There is a park nearby the school. It sounded like it was coming from the woods."

"I'll meet you there!" Nana promised.

"Well?" Risa asked as Yui put her phone away.

"Nana says she will meet us at the forest."

"I've always wanted to have an orgy in the forest. Have you invited Naruto?"

"S-shameless! Immoral! Reprobate!" Yui stammered as she waved a finger accusingly at Risa.

"Oh you are too easy to tease," Risa laughed. "That's what makes you so cute!"

"I have no interest in you like that," Yui snapped.

"Aww… And Naruto and I had such an interesting plan on what we were going to do with you."

"No! That would be shameless! Only Naruto gets to…" She paused and blushed.

"Ohoh?" Risa smirked evilly, "Little miss prim and proper wants her manly hunk to ravish her does she?"

"I never said that!" Yui's blush was going thermonuclear at this point.

Any jovial mood was shattered by another blood curdling roar, this one much closer.

"I… I think I'm going to give Naruto a call." Yui whispered.

"That… That would be a good idea," Risa gulped.

"Please pick up," Yui whispered as she dialled her boyfriend. "Come on… Damn it!"

"What?"

"No answer."

"…That is not what I wanted to hear."

There was a deafening roar from behind the two girls.

"And I wanted to hear that even less…Yui?"

"Yes Risa."

"I know I pick on you a bit, but that's only because I respect you."

"I… I kind of respect how you are able to show your affections so blatantly."

"Thanks," Risa and Yui shared a brief smile before turning to face the creature that had roared behind them.

"Momo?" Risa let out a sigh. "You had us scared for a moment."

"Risa…" Yui shook her head and stepped back. "I don't think she can hear you."

"What?" Risa noted the feral look on her face and the slitted eyes. "Momo? Are you there?"

"**Smell…" **Momo spoke in a deep guttural voice, **"Mate…. You… Smell… Mate… My… Mate…" **

"Momo?"

"**Kill… Obstacles…" **

"Risa… Run!" Yui grabbed the girl and started to run away.

"What the hell is wrong with her?!"

"Must be a devilukian thing!" Yui responded.

"I mean I know I feel like killing everything when it's my time of the month but this is just ridiculous!" Risa yelled as the two girls ran into the small forest in the park, running between trees in a desperate attempt to lose the blood thirsty Momo.

"Giiii!" A familiar battle cry sounded out and Momo was blindsided by Gi-chan.

"Hey! It's Nana's boar!" Risa cheered.

"We're saved!"

Momo grabbed the boar by its tusks and hurled it through the forests before returning her attention to Yui and Risa.

There was a deep growl and three fireballs struck Momo sending her hurtling back through the forest.

"Good boy Cerby-chan!" Nana declared as she clambered off the back of her giant three headed dog.

"Nana!" Risa hugged the small girl. "I've never been so happy to see you in my life!"

"G-get off!" Nana squirmed out of Risa's grip before glancing in Momo's direction. "As expected… that just made her angry."

"What?" Yui and Risa turned to see Momo walk out of the inferno unharmed. The only casualty was the Sainan High uniform she was wearing that was now little more than a collection of burnt rags mysteriously covering everything that needed to be covered. She let out a roar so loud that it hurt the girl's ears. Cerby-chan whimpered and retreated.

"Nee-chan has gone berserk," Nana bit her lip, "She is basically primal urges given physical form."

"So what do we do?"

"…I don't know," Nana admitted. "Even at my full strength I don't know if I could subdue her without hurting her. None of my animal friends would last five seconds against her. Ideally we need the Seventh Holy Knight… She is the only one who can seal her berserker side away. But she has been missing for many years and no-one knows where she is…"

"Did somebody say they needed someone sexy and stylish? The number one sex goddess Fu-chan has arrived! XD" Fu stepped out from behind some trees.

"How long have you been here?!" Nana blinked.

"Oh I'm always around! Stalking Naru-chan is fun ;)"

"…What?" Yui blinked.

"So Momomomomomomomo is a little upset?" Fu leaned to one side as Momo threw a tree at her. "Muuu… That isn't nice :("

"Can you seal her?"

"Nope :D"

"Why not?" Nana stamped her foot.

"Because she'll kill me before I can get close enough. :P"

"So we have to subdue her first?"

"That's right! "

"Great," Nana sighed. "I hate doing this. My name is Nana Astar Deviluke and mine is the Seal of Astar!" A red blast of energy erupted from the princess.

Momo let out a feral roar and charged Nana, scampering through the forest on all fours and bouncing off trees as if they were made of rubber.

"**Such a hassle."**Astar-Nana sighed lazily as the red glow subsided and she held out a hand, grabbing Momo's head in mid attack and holding her at an arm's length away firmly. "**You seem to have energy to spare, let me help you with that. Namakemono no hōyō (**Sloth's Embrace)"

Momo growled as the red aura surrounding her started to get leeched out of her by Astar-Nana. She flailed helplessly and fell to her knees.

"Tut, tut," Kabuto stepped out from some trees, "I can't have you interfering with my Goddess' beautiful dance of death."

"**And you are?" **

"A reverent worshipper of death," Kabuto smiled before pulling a strange rifle out of his cloak. "You are not the first Damus user I have ever have the misfortune of encountering. There are ways of… quickly eliminating the threat you pose."

"**That rifle… an Arcangus artefact? But only the Charmians and humans can use them." **

"That's right," Kabuto laughed. "I am a Charmian!"

"**An evil Charmian?" **

"Whoa… Fu-chan has seen everything now!" Fu gasped.

"What's a Charmian?" Yui asked.

"Sephie-chan is one! That's Lalalalalalalala's mother! They are a peaceful and friendly race! They also have one of the largest fleets of ships… purely as a deterrent of course. Because they are peaceful." Fu added as an afterthought.

"Oh." Yui blinked. "Are they powerful?"

"Nope XP!" Fu laughed. "At least not without an Arcangus artefact. Which they halve a lot of. And also this guy has one… So in this case maybe? :$"

"**It matters little what kind of toy you have gotten," **Astar-Nana yawned, **"I doubt it will be able to affect my illustrious self." **

"And Fu-chan won't let you use it!" Fu pointed a finger at Kabuto, "Magical Girl Lightning Prod!"

"What kind of attack name is…" Risa's groan was cut off by a bolt of lightning screaming towards Kabuto and detonating with enough force to knock over the trees surrounding Kabuto.

"Fu-chan wins!" Fu gave the victory symbol and stuck her tongue out.

"Is that all you have to offer?" Kabuto chuckled as the smoke cleared revealing a translucent white wing shaped shield hovering in front of him.

"Oh phooey (T_T)." Fu pouted. "He has a defensive artefact!"

"Watch as your hope…" Kabuto was cut off by Fu vanishing and reappearing next to him.

"Fu Kick!" She launched a round house kick that Kabuto ducked under.

"Your attacks are pitiful!" Kabuto mocked.

"Fu-chan is sad " Fu leapt back. "But Fu-chan will use her stalking skills to win this!"

"Er… What?" Yui and Risa deadpanned.

"Fu-chan has watched Naru-chan for a long time now," She nodded her head. "Why it must be going on ten years since Fu-chan sealed him and watched over him… Maybe twelve? Fu-chan don't know, Earth years are confusing."

"I think Naruto has a severe stalker," Yui muttered.

"You're telling me." Risa agreed.

"But anyway!" Fu grinned. "Naru-Naru Love attack: Akuma Yari!" A large spear of red energy screamed towards Kabuto detonating against his shield and shattering it.

"…I'm going to ask Lala to improve the security system on our house," Risa sighed. "If he has a stalker of this degree I've a bad feeling our current security isn't going to cut it."

"W-what?!" Kabuto frowned as the small bracelet he was wearing exploded. "How… How did you destroy the artefact?! It was built to be able to deflect Damus attacks!"

"See Fu-chan is really good with seals!" She stuck her tongue out. "And Fu-chan can mimic certain techniques! The funny thing about Naru-chan's attack is even in his Damus attacks there is a tiny hint of Arcangus energy! That makes them super explosive! Fu-chan's seals can replicate that!"

"I see," Kabuto aimed the rifle at Astar-Nana, "But you're too late!"

"Fu-chan disagrees!" She held out a palm with a glowing seal on it, "Naru-Naru Love attack: Akuma Danmaku!"

"Damn it!" Kabuto was forced to dive out of the way of the barrage of explosive red energy blasts that peppered his location. "You are starting to piss me off your airheaded old hag!"

"…What did you say?" Fu's voice lost all sense of cheerfulness. "Did you call me an old hag?! Fu-chan is a young sexy woman! Magical Girl Armageddon Blast!" Fu created a large sphere of condensed Damus energy and threw it at Kabuto, causing it to detonate and turn a sizeable area of forestry into a barren wasteland.

"Remind me never to call her old," Risa blinked.

"Got him," Fu-chan beamed until there was a loud band.

"**I think… you might have missed him…" **Astar-Nana dropped Momo before falling over, her Damus aura vanishing. "He hit me with some sort of energy blast… My body feels numb." Nana mumbled.

"Oh…" Fu turned to see Momo glaring at her. "Er… Tactical withdrawal!" Fu declared grabbing the two humans and Nana before teleporting away.

Momo let out a feral roar before sniffing the air and heading after the fleeing Fu.

"Soon my goddess," Kabuto chuckled as he climbed out of the crater, an amulet around his neck glowing before disintegrating into nothing. "Soon you will be free of your false persona. All you have to do is kill the girls and your ascension will be complete. And then this entire planet will know death and despair!"

* * *

"This is bad!" Nana paced around the classroom Fu had taken them to. "I can't call on Astar's powers."

"That would be really useful right now." Fu agreed, "None of Fu-chan's seals can absorb enough energy to tire out Momomomomomo…"

"What is happening to her?" Yui asked.

"Nee-chan has a… condition that was sealed away. It makes her become extremely aggressive and strips her of her mind. I think Naruto has the same condition but fortunately both of them are sealed, or at least nee-chan was sealed until something happened."

"I think I know what…" Risa stumbled into the classroom. "I've just been to the nurse's office and found someone."

"Who?"

"Hey girls," Mikado limped into the room. "Listen… I've some bad news. You might want to sit down."

"W-what is it?" Nana looked worried.

"It's about Lala and Naruto…"

"Are they okay?"

"Well…" Mikado looked at the floor sadly.

"They're dead," Risa spoke in a far off tone.

"No…" Nana and Yui's eyes widened. "I… No… "

"And it was Momo who killed them." Risa sobbed.

"What?" Nana shook her head, "That's impossible! Onee-sama is the strongest of all of us! She's arguably the third strongest being in the universe after papa and Kurama the Destroyer! And Naruto is really tough!"

"I saw the bodies." Risa wept.

"Naruto…" Yui fell to her knees. "I… Why did this have to happen?! Who did this?!"

"I… I don't know the person. He wore a cloak but Momo seemed to know who he was and talked about a time Momo killed a lot of innocent people."

"I guess it was that cloaked guy," Fu's voice was tired. "If I'd known…" She clenched her fists. "He would not have survived our encounter!"

"The Paradiso incident," Nana shivered. "The first time her seal failed in a public place. Papa managed to fake enough evidence to make it look like a terrorist attack. Momo… she killed so many people… But it wasn't really her! It was the berserker inside! Nee-chan wouldn't hurt a fly sealed up! And Papa destroyed all evidence of that event! How did this guy find out about it?"

"He must have been part of the clean-up squad…" Fu frowned, "They chose Charmians to do the clean up as they are fiercely loyal to their high priestess, Selphie-chan."

"So he somehow got Momo to kill… them?" Yui couldn't bring herself to say that Naruto had been killed. It was too painful to contemplate never mind say.

"It was an accident," Mikado shook her head, "Naruto tried to kill her and…"

"Wait." Yui looked up, "Naruto doesn't kill. It's kind of his thing."

"That's right!" Risa nodded, "Are you sure it was him?"

"I ran a DNA test in the vain hope it wasn't him shortly after Risa released me. It was a perfect match." Mikado shook her head. "I'm sorry. He might have been poisoned by the cloaked figure to attack Momo."

Before anyone could say anything else a wall exploded and Momo skidded into the classroom, knocking over several desks and glaring at the inhabitants of the room before launching herself at Yui who made no attempts to dodge.

"Naruto…" She sobbed and prepared for the worst.

"Well this looks interesting," A familiar voice declared, "Anyone care to fill me in?"

* * *

_One hour earlier_

Naruto shook his head as he watched Momo race off into the school. "She seems so giddy. I don't think I've ever been that excited to go to school." He chuckled as he made his way back home, whistling a happy tune.

"Master!" Kenichi who had been waiting at the main gate ran over to him.

"I thought I told you not to wait for me," Naruto shook his head.

"I didn't!" Kenichi looked around, "Have you… upset Lala recently?"

"No… what makes you say that?"

"She was sat by the river crying underneath the bridge when I saw her and I immediately came here to find you!"

"Thanks!" Naruto called over his shoulder and ran off. _'She's crying? Is this to do with why Mikado was looking edgy or is it just an issue due to her binding.' _He ran across roads, ignoring the indignant honks of cars he ran out in front of, not caring for his own safety right now. All that mattered was finding Lala, which he did. She was sat underneath a bridge, her face red and blotchy and her eyes bloodshot, a good hint that she had been crying rather heavily.

"Lala?" He called out softly as he approached her.

"Naruto?" She glanced at him. "I…"

"Are you alright?" He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"I… You know I love you right!"

"Of course," He squeezed her gently. "And I love you."

"And I would never cheat on you or anything!"

"…That set off some alarm bells," Naruto tilted his head. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"And…"

"But I can't." She bit her lip. "Because I'm scared…"

"I…" Naruto closed his eyes. "Is… Is there someone else?"

"No!" Lala shook her head furiously. "I love you and only you!"

"Then was it… a one night stand?"

"I've never been with anyone but you!" Lala looked hurt at the suggestion.

"Then could you please tell me what the issue is?" Naruto rubbed his forehead with his free hand.

"It's…" She bit her lip. "I… I didn't want…"

"Didn't want?" Naruto prompted.

"I can't say," She whimpered.

"Lala… were you raped?" Naruto clenched his fists.

"No!" Lala shook her head. "You're the only person who ever has and ever will make love to me."

"That's a relief," Naruto let out a sigh, "I would have found it hard to stick to my no killing policy if that had been the case. I can deal with people hurting me, I've spent my entire life being attacked both physically and mentally so I can take quite a beating," He started to rub Lala's back soothingly. "But if anyone ever hurt you or any of my precious people…" He closed his eyes. "I… I might go too far when fighting the persons responsible."

"Too far?"

"Kill someone," Naruto continued. "I… Some people who I've fought I've wondered would the place be better if I actually killed them? Would anyone actually care if the scum I fought were dead? But I never could go the full distance with it. Because I am weak."

"You're super strong," Lala corrected, "It takes great strength to hold back like that!"

"I'm weak," Naruto whispered. "I'm scared that if I take one life then I won't stop. If I can justify killing one person then I can justify killing more and before you know it… you're surrounded by corpses and regret."

"I won't let that happen," Lala squeezed his arm. "If you lose your way I will always be here for you."

"And I for you," Naruto leaned against her. "No matter what."

"Really? You mean that."

"It's a promise of a life time." Naruto smiled. "As soon as I've saved up enough money… I'll get you a ring to symbolise that promise."

"Naruto…" Lala felt her fears slip away. "I'm pregnant."

"…Pardon?" Naruto blinked.

"I'm pregnant."

"But… I'm sterile," Naruto turned to face Lala.

"I know…"

"Well…" Naruto stared at the river dumbstruck. "I… Wow. So I'm a father? Somehow."

"But you're sterile," Lala started. "Your odds of fertilising someone are practically impossible."

"But you've not been with anyone else right?" Naruto pointed out.

"No," She shook her head.

"Then clearly I am the father." He grinned. "I guess my little swimmers are just like me."

"Huh?"

"They laugh in the face of impossible odds," He smiled at her. "Wow… me a father." He froze. "I'll have to get a proper job! No…" He frowned. "My child will have the best… I never thought I'd do this…" He turned to Lala, "Do you have your phone on you?"

"Hai!" Lala happily handed it to Naruto.

"Hello?" Naruto put the phone up to his ear. "Hey Jiraiya. No I haven't decided to star in your porno movie. I don't care if… what seriously? Kyo-chan's willing to star in it if I do? But that would mean… You're making that up you old pervert! You definitely are! Whatever! I rang about my father's role at the company and my responsibilities as his heir. Yes… Yes… I understand that. Do I have to change my name back? Well whatever… I'm keeping Uzumaki as my middle name. What do you mean which one? What makes you think I got a girl pregnant? Maybe I just want the money to buy myself something! Shut up you old fart!" Naruto hung up and passed the phone to Lala.

"What was that about?"

"Jiraiya wanted me to take over my father's role at a company," Naruto shrugged. "I've kept saying no but… If I am to be a father I need a job. I can't have my children thinking skipping school to get into fights is the way to live their lives so I decided I'd take the old fart up on his offer."

"Naruto!" She laughed and the young couple hugged under the bridge. "You're going to be a great father but you don't have to work you know. I am a princess and you will be emperor so that will be your job right?"

"Lala…" Naruto smiled at her. "I…"

There was an almighty roar that caused the bridge to shake.

"…What the hell was that?!" Naruto looked around.

"It can't be…" Lala bit her lip.

"Be what?"

"Momo has been unsealed." Lala looked worried. "I have to do something."

"You're doing nothing," Naruto shook his head. "You're pregnant with my child, I can't let you run into danger!"

"But I should let you?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "Because you know I'll come back alive."

"Dummy," Lala pouted cutely.

"Love you too," He kissed her softly. "Now go home, please for me."

"Okay," Lala looked worried, "If that is Momo… Don't hold back or you will die! I will try and get in touch with Papa and he can send someone to seal her again. Just keep her occupied!"

"Piece of cake," Naruto winked and ran off in the direction of the roaring. "The day I let down one of my precious people is the day pigs fly!"

"GIIIIII!"

Naruto watched as GI-chan soared through the air. "He's a giant boar. Not a pig. That didn't count." He paused. "That means Nana's in trouble! Damn it!" He raced in the direction the giant boar had come from. "Well something happened here." Naruto looked at the crater and scattered trees. "I'm guessing they went that way," He glanced at the uprooted trees that seemed to head towards the school.

"Well?" Naruto asked as he carried Yui bridal style.

"Naruto!" The girls called out. "You're alive!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He put Yui down and faced Mom. "Hey Momo? You in there?"

Momo tilted her head and edged towards Naruto cautiously.

"It's okay," Naruto walked towards her. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Momo responded by punching him through a wall.

"Naruto!"

"Ouch," Naruto groaned as he climbed through the ruined wall. "Fine then you want to play rough?" He called on his Damus aura. "Let's do this. Juden Akuma!" He charged at Momo who swatted him out of the air and sent him hurtling through the floor into the classroom below

"Naruto?" Yui called out.

"I'm okay!" Naruto called back. "Shoten! Juden Akuma!" Naruto charged Momo again, this time grabbing her and smashing through the wall and down into the swimming pool with such force that all the water splashed out of the pool and the two fighters stood at opposite ends of the empty pool, eyes watching each other for the first sign of hostility.

"So… That cool you off?" Naruto asked.

Momo let out a fierce roar and glared at Naruto.

"Listen Momo, I know you are in there. You can beat this!"

Momo's only response was to form a small ball of red energy and launch it a Naruto.

"Akuma Yari!" Naruto countered with a blast of his own, filling the pool with smoke. "Momo… You can do it! Fight against it."

"**Mate?" **A deep guttural voice sounded in his ear.

"…Clever girl." Naruto narrowed his eyes as a tail wrapped around his leg.

Momo lifted him and slammed him into the floor repeatedly.

"Listen I," SMACK, "Really think you," SMACK, "Should try a little," SMACK, "Harder to fight this rage and," SMACK, "I can't help but feel that," SMACK, "You are enjoying this too much," Naruto groaned out as Momo threw him across the empty pool.

'_Why aren't you using my calming aura? Your father used it to help your mother suppress her berserker instincts?' _Raphael asked.

'_Your power does that?! Why didn't you mention that sooner?!" _

'_I am half way through a Black Butler marathon! I had more important things on my mind!' _

'_**Just a heads up, the corset scene is the biggest disappointment in my existence. I thought there was finally an anime I could get behind.' **_Asmodea sounded like she was eating popcorn.

'_One of your stupid anime is more important than my life? AND HOW THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING ANIME IN MY HEAD?' _

'_You have a good internet connection in here. Oh and duck." _

'_I have internet?' _Naruto was shook from his thoughts by a fierce round house kick that embedded him deep in the swimming pool wall.

'_I told you to duck.' _

"Kai!" Naruto released his condensed aura causing a small blast that freed him from the wall. "Fine then… My name is Naruto Uzumaki and mine is the Crest of Raphael!" There was blue explosion and when it cleared Naruto was confused to find himself in a ghostly butler's outfit. "I… what happened to the armour?"

'_Butler's are the in thing right now! Be hell of a butler! Or maybe you should use your impossibly bad luck to win all the girl's hearts!' _

"I… what?" Naruto blinked. "I don't even understand half of the things you are talking about!"

Momo paused hesitantly as the blue aura washed over her and Naruto took the opportunity to grab her tail, causing to her to fall to the floor and start to purr before rubbing herself against Naruto's leg.

"Wait… I've seen this before," Naruto narrowed his eyes.

'_**Oh yes you have. Let me refresh your memory!' **_

_**Asmodea Vision **_

"Got your tail!" Akuma; Naruto's Damus Clone declared as he grabbed Kurama's tail causing her to purr and fall in a boneless heap.

"… Thanks," Naruto nodded at his clone.

"It's what I do boss," He glanced at Kurama. "So… shall I just keep a hold of her then?"

They both looked at the purring Kurama.

"I guess," Naruto rubbed his head. "At least until I can reactivate her artefact."

"Boss," The clone rubbed his chin, "I was just thinking… If Kurama can control Naruto… That is the Chibi you, what's to stop him going berserk. I mean didn't Momo mention that Berserkers are herd beings and a powerful berserker can influence lesser ones."

"Oh god…" Naruto paled. "Dad!" He raced through the forest.

"Okay. Good chat," Akuma froze as Kurama started to grind against his leg. "Yeah… The one advantage of being a clone is I can always dispel and then I don't have to remember this." Kurama started to undress slowly whilst purring. "Oh… the boss is really going to be messed up by this." Akuma shivered and tried to ignore the strong smell of Kurama's excitement. "This is so wrong."

'_**Is it so wrong that it has gone full circle and become right?' **_

"Huh?" Akuma looked around. "I didn't know that you could talk to me. I thought it was only the boss you could talk to."

'_**I'm that good.' **_Asmodea replied smugly.

"And to answer your question, this will never be right." Akuma shivered. "Oh gods she is sucking on my fingers! Happy place Akuma, happy place."

_**End Asmodea Vision **_

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME OF THAT?!" Naruto shivered as Momo started shedding the few remains of her school uniform.

"Fu-chan will leave you two alone to have fun if you want ;D."

"Fu?!" Naruto blinked, "What are you doing here? And I have a bone to pick with you!"

"Ooh! Fu-chan knows which of Naruto's bones she would pick to be in her! XD"

"I… what?!"

"Fu-chan said nothing," She tilted her head and walked over to the docile Momo. "Fu-chan is confused though. Delta's shouldn't be affected by you grabbing their tails unless…" Fu paused before snorting in laughter. "They don't exist though."

"What?"

"Oh nothing Naru-chan!" Fu ran a finger over Momo's stomach before giving a brief salute to Naruto, "Magical Girl Fu-chan away!" She vanished in a crackle of energy.

"My head…" Momo groaned. "What… Naruto… Oh god's… I killed him…"

"Who me?"

"Naruto?!" Momo looked up tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry! Please… Don't hate me! I'm not a threat!"

"I know," Naruto helped her stand and put his jacket over her shoulders.

"But you said you had to kill me… and Lala wanted me dead… I was so scared…" She sobbed into Naruto's chest.

"It's okay…" He soothed her.

"But I killed you both!" Momo wailed.

"Clearly you didn't," Naruto raised her chin so she was looking at him. "It was all just a bad dream. Someone tricked you into going berserk. Lala and I are fine."

"A… A dream?" Momo nodded slowly, "Of course… Naruto would never… Onee-sama is kind…" She smiled.

"Nee-chan?" Nana ran up to her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm better." Momo hugged Nana who squawked in embarrassment. "I love you Nana."

"Eh what?!" Nana struggled in vain to escape.

"You girls go home." Naruto smiled. "I have something to deal with here."

"R-right." Momo nodded and the girls walked home with her.

Naruto watched them leave before speaking, "Are you going to show yourself?"

"Tch," Kabuto appeared. "I have everything in place but you had to ruin it."

"I do that frequently." Naruto stated as he turned to face the cloaked assassin. "I'm guessing you're responsible for Momo's trauma."

"I was trying to help her achieve her full potential."

"Is that so?" Naruto flexed the spectral wings of his Arcangus aura, causing five feathers to fall off and gently fall to the floor. "Kaze Yari!" The five feathers turned into invisible spears of wind that screamed at the assassin, tearing holes in his body and causing him to fall to the floor, bleeding heavily.

"I'm not even the real one," Kabuto laughed. "I am just a clone bred in a lab! All it took was a drop of your blood and a strand of Lala's hair to create an inferior clone. Perfect to be killed by Momo."

"A clone?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You cloned me? When the hell did you get my blood?"

"The real me took your blood from a battle you fought." Kabuto laughed. "He is probably devising a poison tailored for your blood as we speak!"

"Not if I kill him first."

"You can't kill! It isn't in your nature!" He laughed. "You are a weak fool who will suffer for his foolishness!"

"Meh, I couldn't care less about that." Naruto shrugged. "Try and kill me all you want. You won't succeed but you see… you crossed the line. You hurt someone I care about. I hope you find the real you because I have a message I want the real you to hear. I will find him. And I. Will. End. Him." Naruto turned his back on the badly wounded assassin and walked away.

"DIE!" HE shrieked as he ran at Naruto, pulling a dagger from his cloak and lashed out, aiming to stab Naruto in his neck.

Naruto merely grabbed a hand full of feathers and span around, converting them into a blade of light that cut straight through the dagger and carried on through the arms of the clone, leaving it staring at its stumps in horror.

"You're not worth killing. Now go take the message to your master." Naruto left the school with a sigh. "These assassins are using stranger and stranger methods. To target Momo like that…" His fists clenched so tight they drew blood. "I won't let them harm my precious people… If that means killing them…"

"We will be here for you."

"Huh?" Naruto looked up in shock to see the girls and a couple of unexpected people waiting for him, namely Gid and Sephie.

"Momo's back to normal" Lala smiled at Naruto over Momo's head, the youngest sibling hugging her and Sephie whilst she sobbed gently. "I called Papa but I guess he wasn't needed."

"She will be fine after a rest," Sephie assured the worried Naruto, "She has just been through a lot."

"Naruto," Gid nodded as he looked into Naruto's eyes. "Now you have seen her concealed nature… do you still intend to marry her?"

"Concealed Nature? That was not Momo's true self." Naruto glared at Gid. "Momo is a little flirty but a good person and someone I damn proud to know and love!"

"Heh," Gid nodded, leaving Naruto feeling like he had passed some sort of test.

"I can't wait for the day I kick your ass all over this solar system," Naruto sighed heavily.

"Boy," Gid leaned towards him and spoke so quietly only Naruto could hear. "This assassin was not one of mine. I will find him and have him punished for this, unless you beat me to it. If you find him and decide not to kill him. Send him to me and I will make him regret his actions."

"…I'll keep that in mind," Naruto nodded and walked past.

"You say that there were clones in the school." Risa shivered. "They were so realistic."

"Looks that way," Mikado nodded. "I was too distraught to think to check for genetic imprinting."

"Imprinting?" Naruto asked.

"Clones have a barcode hidden in their DNA to differentiate them from the real thing." Mikado explained. "It's one of the things they must have to be legal."

"Although both those clones were illegal by Gid-sama's laws." Zastin cut in.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"They were clones of members of the Royal Devilukian Family."

"Only one was," Naruto pointed out.

"Actually," Zastin continued oblivious to Gid miming cutting his throat. "Gid-sama ordered that for all intents and purposes you are to be classed as a member of the devilukian royal family."

"What?" Naruto looked at Gid.

"I just didn't want some clone seducing my daughters alright!" Gid stormed off. "I'm going home if I'm not needed!"

"Sir?" Zastin ran after him.

"Oh my." Sephie raised a hand to her veil, "Isn't he cute when he's embarrassed." She laughed gently and followed Gid. "Remember Momo… we are only a phone call away."

"Thanks," Momo nodded weakly.

"Selphie… Get in touch with her." Gid turned to his wife as they headed towards the spaceship he had hidden.

"Her?"

"Let her know what happened her and give her free reign."

"…Okay…" Sephie bit her lip. "Her treatments aren't finished though…"

"She'll be fine," Gid reassured Sephie and looked at Naruto with his arm around Momo. "And when it comes to tracking down elusive opponents she was always the best and this time its personal."

"As you wish," Sephie nodded

"Damn jackass," Naruto muttered as Gid walked away.

"He likes you," Lala took Naruto's hand in her own. "He is just terrible at showing it."

"Is cloning common?" Yui asked concerned.

"Well…" Mikado smiled. "In certain circles such as organ trade and… adult entertainment."

"Adult entertainment?"

"Earth has silicon dolls correct?" Mikado smiled. "Well why have to settle for a sex doll when you can create a real life sex toy? Cloning allows you to do that. You can even imprint any personality you want onto them then you bind them to you so they will follow your orders and will never even consider leaving you."

"But they are living people even if they are clones!" Naruto countered.

"That's one of the many arguments against cloning," Mikado nodded. "But at the moment it is still a thriving enterprise, so long as they obey Gid's laws of course. They are special clubs in space where these sex clones have been programmed with certain personalities… similar to your maid cafes I believe."

"Space is kind of messed up," Naruto shook his head as they entered his house.

"Welcome home," Mikan smiled as Naruto entered the room.

"Onii-sama! Kushina-nee wants to play with her big brother!" Kushina was wearing a school uniform and posing sexily. "Teach me about love Onii-sama!"

"All things considered," Mikado smirked. "You really can't really talk about things being messed up with your fetishes."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"Onii-sama is a lolicon," Yami remarked dryly from the shadows.

"Eh what?!" Yui glared at him.

"I'm not!" He waved his hands furiously.

"Oh my? What have you being doing to Yami-chan Naruto?" Mikado tilted her head.

Mikan blushed crimson as she walked into the kitchen. _'Does this mean I have a chance?'_

* * *

Mikado smiled as she entered her flat, tossing aside her clothes and collapsing onto her bed.

"What an eventful day," She sighed happily. "I'm glad Naruto is okay. When I saw Momo kill that clone…" She put her hand over her heart. "I am a terrible nurse." She laughed, "When did I stop teasing him because I found it fun… and start teasing him because… Because I care more than a school nurse should do." She rolled over and pulled out a tablet, pressing several buttons on it causing a holographic display to light up the room.

"Show test 23a pictures." Mikado ordered and several pictures of a topless Naruto looking incredibly embarrassed appeared before her. "Shame… If I were younger I'd seriously consider going for you." She shook her head. "Display seal analysis."

"Analysis of Seal Report," A strange mechanical voice called out from the walls, "Subject has several seals on his body that have degraded considerably since last tested. Of note is the complete decay of the mental block seals. The Primary seal shows considerable damage although the effectiveness of the seal has not yet been compromised. Successful fertilisation possibility is at 0.0000000015%. No sign of decay or activation on the third set of seals, purpose confirmed as Strength Limiters Grade 12#A1- Criminal Grade. Would render the subject helpless if ever activated. Appear to be coded to a specific activation sequence. Unique identifier- Unknown trigger."

"Sample analysis?"

"Of the twelve samples taken from the subject. All show fertilisation possibility of no more than 0.0000040%."

"Damn it," Mikado sighed. "Whilst not impossible the odds are quite small for Naruto to have naturally fathered the children Lala is carrying. Is there no way that the fertilisation chance could increase? Well display combat statistics."

"Subject regeneration whilst in Damus state is substantial. Damage potential greatly exaggerated. Subject regeneration in Arcangus state is considerably less yes still greater than normal. Speed potential is greatly exaggerated. Noted anomalies: Arcangus aura appears to improve vitality of nearby objects."

"Wait a second," Mikado's eyes widened. "Any limitations?"

"None observed. Plant life and animals appear to be healthier in his presence."

"Calculate fertilisation possibility assuming vitality effect works on ejaculate."

"Calculating…. "

Her phone started to vibrate. "Who is it?"

"…Unknown Number. Tracing… Tracing… Number is re-routed through several planetary comms hubs."

"Planetary?" Mikado scowled. "The number is alien?"

"It would appear so."

"Answer it."

"My dear Mikado-chan," A wheezing old voice coughed out.

"No…" Mikado shook her head, "It can't be…"

"You remember me? That's good." The old man coughed. "Here I was worried that you forgot me and the debt you owe me. I took you up as an orphan, I had you fed and trained. I gave you a safe place to live and this is how you repay me? Squandering the skills that I had you learn on saving primitive class four organisms?"

"I owe you nothing!"

"You owe me your life." The old man coughed violently. "Either you come back to my… organisation and work as the Doctor of Death… or my new doctors will pay a visit to your friends. Naruto Uzumaki I believe is one… the one who defeated our rat faced friend. I hear he has a regenerative factor. That is good. It means they can suffer more before they die."

"They have nothing to do with this!"

"It's your choice."

"Call has been terminated." The mechanical voice announced.

"…Damn it." Mikado slumped onto her bed. "I guess I have no choice…" She crawled onto her bed and hid her head under the pillow, wishing her past away. So lost was she in her despair she didn't hear the computer announcing the results of the calculation.

* * *

"Can I come in?" Momo asked as she peered into Naruto's room.

"Of course," Naruto smiled, "This is your room as well."

"Thanks," She sat down on the bed next to Naruto who was playing a game on his console.

"How are you holding up?"

"Not too bad," Momo smiled weakly. "I… Everything was so…"

"It's in the past," Naruto grinned at her, "Don't worry about it. Besides I don't think you would have killed me if it actually was me."

"How do you mean?"

"Well for one I can regenerate really well. Two in your berserker state you used me as a bat to mess up the school swimming pool and look at me now, no injuries whatsoever."

"I must have attacked your head then, nothing Important in there."

"Hey!" Naruto pouted. "I have a brain!"

"Yeah," Momo smiled sadly. "So… Did the assassin tell you about my past?"

"Past?"

"The real reason I am a flawed product? It isn't because the seal makes me infertile. It's because these hands are drenched with blood. I was probably about eight when Papa took us to a theme park. I had so much fun there you know? It was so busy and Nana and I… we were eating sweets and laughing, this was before we were announced to the Universe as Gid's daughters. Everyone there just thought we were two normal kid playing. Of course that was the problem. Had they known who we were… they wouldn't have picked on Nana. A group of seven boys far older than us, probably thought they were cool picking on little girls. They stole Nana's sweats and made her cry. I was so angry that I yelled at the boys but one of them struck me down and I hit the floor… When I regained control… Everyone else was dead. Just me and Nana in this theme park. You know the worst part? Nana blamed herself for me losing control. She never once thought I was to blame. Papa covered it up but rumours got around and people started to call me a monster." Momo looked at her feet. "And now you know… So go on… tell me to leave."

"Idiot," Naruto hugged Momo close to his chest. "I lost control once… It cost me my dad. I killed my own father whilst under a berserker rage. It wasn't your fault." He whispered in her ears. "You are not flawed. You are my Momo you hear me? We are going to learn how to beat our inner rage and we are going to have babies and live happily ever after."

"You… You mean it?"

"I mean it," Naruto kissed her.

"Can I… just stay with you for now." Momo wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck.

"Of course," Naruto smiled. "I will always be here for you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would you prefer to take me doggy style or cowgirl?"

"…Welcome back Momo." Naruto chuckled and hugged the laughing devilukian.

* * *

Kabuto gasped as he ran down the streets. Something was hunting down the cheap clones he had made and it had found him. He found himself cornered in an alley way.

"Who… What are you?" Kabuto collapsed against a wall.

"You hurt someone dear to my brave little warrior." Two red slitted eyes peered out from under a thick black hood. "Didn't you want to meet the ultimate expression of death and destruction?"

"No… It can't be!"

"Die."

There was a flash of purple and a high pitched scream but when people came to investigate, they found only a strange pile of still warm ashes.

* * *

EXTRA SCENE NUMBER #1 GI-CHAN'S FLIGHT

"So tell me," The psychiatrist stroked his chin, "What do you see on this ink blob?"

"Well…" Soma frowned. "I see a man being trampled by a boar."

"Hmm. Interesting and this one?"

"A man getting eaten by a boar."

"This one?"

"A man getting gored by a boar."

"This one?"

"A man getting disembowelled by a boar."

"And one last one."

"I see a man buying a house. He is happy and has plans to raise his family there."

"That is good…"

"But a Boar in a demolition truck is right behind him, about to crush him and all his dreams."

"…I think you have a strange boar obsession and I would like to get to the bottom of it."

"GIIIIIIIIII!" The window shattered as a giant boar flew through one window of the psychiatrist's office and straight out of the other, grabbing Soma in its mouth as it flew through the window.

"…And now I have caught his crazy," The psychiatrist sighed as he poured himself a tumbler full of whisky. "Time to visit Doctor J. Daniels and his friend Doctor J. Bean."


	21. Chapter 21: Rito's Fun Day Out

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everybody! I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a fair bit lighter than the last one.

Some people are worried about Lala's pregnancy. It won't play a major part in the story and will mostly have no effect up until near the end of this story.

This chapter also sets up Mikado's storyline. After her I believe it is either Rin or Nana's story depending on the votes on the poll. After Mikado's story I will close the poll and announce the last two character storylines. The other characters may have their time to shine in the sequel (should public interest be high enough in it). I have a basic plot worked out for it so... we shall see.

Some people might have noticed that Ninja Pirate is no longer on my account. This is as it was a joint project and the person I was working with has decided to go in a direction I wasn't happy with so they asked me to remove the chapters and let them upload them on thier account with the new co-writer. As soon as I know the account I will let you all know where to go to read it. I have no plans for a One Piece story for the time being, at least until TLR and Naruto: THE are finished/ well on the way.

Currently planning out the first chapters of the Fallen Angel (Naruto DxD crossover) and Leaf DLC (Naruto SAO crossover) and they will be uploaded in a story where I will upload my Think Tank stories although these are all taking a back seat compared to my main stories. It's basically so you can get a taste of what those stories would entail should I decide to release them after TLR completion.

Oh and I haven't forgotten about TLR: DE. The next chapter is well under way.

Thanks to my beta Shinnagami.

Let's get on with the show!

* * *

Chapter 21: Rito's Fun Day Out?

Rito blinked stupidly as he was woken up by a bright light shining in his face. He tried to open his mouth to complain but found he was gagged. He tried to move his limbs but felt some sort of bindings wrapped around his wrists and legs. Despite his struggling he was unable to move at all.

"Oh!" A familiar, cheerful voice called out. "He's awake!"

As Rito's eyes started to adjust to the light he realised that the three devilukian princesses were stood around him and he was strapped to an operating table. Lala was beaming at him as she put on some surgical gloves.

"So he is," Momo leaned over Rito's face. "Don't worry! We're not going to hurt you."

"Sit still already!" Nana remarked as she hit Rito with a toy hammer.

"Okay!" Lala clapped her hands, "I'll need the extortionater!"

"Right," Momo handed a pair of what looked like a pair of scissors with chain saws for blades.

"Thanks!" Lala started work on something awfully close to Rito's crotch, although his head was strapped into position preventing him from seeing exactly what they were doing.

"The Pulmerisasor!" Lala declared tossing aside the first tool.

"Here," Nana handed her a strange robotic claw with buzz saws sprouting from each finger.

Rito wasn't even able to scream as Lala worked on something, sparks flying and the occasional puzzled noise from the genius alien. After what seemed like an eternity, Lala cast aside the latest of the strange tools she had been given (a motorised hammer with several little hammers surrounding the main one, each one with a laser sight) and nodded happily.

"Finished?" Momo asked.

"Finished!" Lala declared and lifted up what looked like a strange ray gun. "This is my Change-Change-Kun!"

"Mmph?" Rito tried to ask what it did.

"Now if only we have a willing test subject to use it on?" Lala tilted her head thoughtfully.

"Last person to say not it," Momo smiled, "Not it!"

"Not it," Nana quickly followed.

"Not it!" Lala beamed. "Oh a volunteer!"

"Mmph!" Rito struggled against his bindings.

"Don't worry!" Lala smiled. "This shouldn't hurt at all!" She pulled the trigger and Rito saw white.

"Bwah!" Rito shot up in his bed, wiping the sweat from his brow. "It was a dream." He sighed happily. "That was… wait a minute." He looked around and realised that the room he was in was not familiar to him. He was surrounded by garish pink pillows on a large comfy bed. The curtains were drawn shut and looked quite thick and heavy. He looked in the set of drawers next to the bed hoping for some sort of clue to where he was.

"Argh!" Rito staggered backwards as he saw what was in the top drawer. There were some strange vibrating eggs that Rito didn't recognise along with a certain toy that he did and if he were to hazard a guess he figured that the eggs too were for use in 'adult' situations. There were blind folds and fuzzy hand cuffs and Rito found himself wondering what the hell had happened. Fortunately there was a menu that declared that this was a room in Hotel Private Encounters, a love hotel.

"Crap!" Rito cursed and tried to sneak out of the room. _'I can't have… I mean… Did I?' _His eyes widened. "That wasn't a dream! Lala really did something to me. But why would she…" He narrowed his eyes, "Oh I get it. She knows that Naruto still has feelings for Haruna so she's set this whole thing up to make Haruna-chan think I am a horrible person!" He clenched his fists, "Well no such luck!" He strolled to the door freezing when he saw a naked woman. "Argh sorry!" He bowed his head and noticed something.

First of all he was naked.

Secondly, the woman he had seen… she was his reflection. He knew this by the fact that as he bowed, he could see her breasts as he looked down. He squeezed his breasts to check they were real.

"They are real." Rito gasped before being thrown backwards by a powerful nose bleed and passing out.

* * *

A cloaked figure ran down the dark Victorian streets, panting heavily. The small stature and general shape of the figure suggested it was female, as was the higher pitched voice that was cursing everything in general.

"That is not a dog," The girl repeated to herself for what seemed like the hundredth time, knocking down some crates behind her.

There was a loud crash as a huge bestial creature charged after her, smashing through the crates. It looked like a giant of a man with the head of a wolf. Two long arms ending with vicious claws lashed at her, hitting her and knocking her forwards.

"No!" The girl tried to roll with the impact, pulling out a blunderbuss and firing as the creature snarled and leapt at her, the impact of the weapon knocking the creature onto its back with an enraged howl. Staggering to her feet the girl fumbled with a bottle filled with fuel and lit a paper wick, tossing it at the beast and watching as the fire spread across the beast, who merely roared and stood above the flames, like an infernal hell dog.

"Stay away!" The girl pulled the trigger on the blunderbuss and was rewarded with an empty clicking. "No… Stay back!" She pulled a torch from the wall and flailed at the beast who stepped back from the flames, before lowering its head and roaring.

"Please…" The girl backed into a wall. "Somebody…"

There was a gun shot and the wolf-beast staggered forwards before turning to face its new assailant. This figure stood taller and looked like a Victorian highway man. One hand held a still smoking pistol whilst the other held a large axe.

"Did somebody call for a hero?" The new figure sounded male and cocky.

The beast roared at the man who simply put his pistol away and twisted the handle of the axe, causing the wooden shaft to grow and slam the axe head into the stomach of the charging creature, knocking it over and giving the girl a chance to run by it and behind her saviour.

"You took your time!" The girl squeaked.

"Sorry," The male raised the extended axe like a halberd. "This shouldn't take too long though." He lashed at the beast, using his superior range to beat the creature around the head, forcing it against the wall. "Let's end this!" He twisted the axe's handle, returning it to its normal size and lashed out as he rolled under the creature's desperate lunge, his axe biting deep into the creature's chest as he rolled underneath it.

The creature howled with pain as it rolled over, leapt to its feet and quickly launched itself at the male, who shot it in the face, interrupting its attack and staggering the creature backwards. Whilst the beast tried to recover, the male thrust his left arm deep into the chest of the beast, grabbing its heart and ripping it free in a shower of blood.

The creature roared in anguish before falling to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Are you alright?" The male turned to the female.

"F-fine." The girl shivered. "But when I get a hold of Momo…"

"Right," The male laughed as the world around them dissolved and the girl was replaced by Nana and the male by Naruto.

"She said that it was game with dogs in it!" Nana complained as they left the simulation area.

"Well there were dogs in it technically," Naruto rubbed the back of his head as they entered the main living area where everyone was having dinner.

"Did you two have fun?" Momo looked amused.

"Nee-chan!" A fuming Nana started to berate Momo who merely smiled.

"Nana seems happy," Lala smiled at Naruto as he sat next to her. "Did you two have fun?"

"Yeah," Naruto grabbed a plate of food, "Thanks Mikan-chan… Did you do something with your hair?"

"Oh?" Mikan blushed, "You noticed?"

"Yeah…" Naruto nodded, "You straightened it. It looks good on you."

"And… Do you… Do you think it makes me look more mature?" Mikan tried to ask casually.

"I guess," Naruto rubbed his chin.

"I see," Mikan looked thoughtful.

"Hey!" Nana squawked as Momo started messing with her hair.

"What are you doing?" Naruto looked over at the twins.

"Hey… You do look more mature with your hair straight," Momo whistled appreciatively. "Maybe we should get all your Loli-harem members to do that."

"I don't have a harem," Naruto replied automatically, "And I am not a lolicon. You do look really good with your hair like that Nana though," He added as an afterthought.

"R-really?" Nana blushed. "Wait… I don't care what you think!" Nana stormed off.

"And here with have the Tsundere in her natural environment," Momo commented in the style of David Attenborough. "Such a peaceful creature until provoked…"

"Nee-chan!" Nana glared at her sister, although much of the effect was lost due to the blush threatening to take over her entire face.

"Ahahaha!" Momo merely laughed at her twin's discomfort.

"Hey where's Rito?" Naruto asked.

"Oh he's somewhere," Mikan mumbled as she continued cooking, too busy thinking of how to make herself look more mature.

"Oh," Naruto continued eating his meal until he turned to face Lala. "Er… Lala?"

"Yes?" Lala was currently pouring chocolate sauce on some pickled gherkins.

"What are you doing?"

"I felt like a little snack." Lala paused, "Do you want one?"

"No!" Naruto shook his head furiously _'Is she having pregnancy cravings already?' _

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "We are out of hazelnut spread!" She held up a plate of herrings covered in cream, "What will go with this meal?!"

"I…" Naruto felt slightly sick staring at what could charitably be called food. "Do you want me to go get you some more?"

"Ooh!" Lala beamed at him, "Yes please."

"Er… I'll be back shortly." Naruto got up from the table and dashed out of the room before the sight of Lala's obscene culinary creations caused the delicious meal that Mikan had made to resurface.

"Onee-sama," Momo tilted her head, "Why are you eating such weird things?"

"Oh," Lala looked pleased that Momo had asked. "I'm having pregnancy cravings."

"W-what?!" Kushina froze in shock. "You're pregnant?!"

"Oops," Lala stuck her tongue out.

"But isn't Naruto sterile?" Momo frowned.

"Not completely," Lala shook her head. "It has to be his child!"

"So let me get this straight," Kushina's smile was awfully forced, "You are in fact carrying the child of Naruto."

"Yep!"

"Okay," Kushina slowly got up. "I'm just going to do… something… It may look like I am chasing after Naruto in order to get him to impregnate me but I'm actually… er… doing something else…"

"Not so fast!" Momo summoned a vine plant that tried to subdue Kushina by wrapping her in its vines. "One pregnancy at a time!"

"Hey!" Kushina growled as the vine's got too touchy feely for her liking. "Get lost! Only Naruto gets to touch me like that!" She glared at the plant which quickly released her and hid behind Momo.

"You just can't get the staff," Momo sighed as she pressed a button on her D-Dial and the vine creature vanished.

"So Ane-ue is carrying Naruto's child…" Nana bit her lip. _'Why does that make me feel so bad?' _

"Oh," Mikan seemed to take a while to process Lala's announcement. "That's… congratulations I suppose." She walked away as If in a trance.

"So Naruto can impregnate people," Risa put a hand on her stomach worriedly.

"Don't worry," Momo reassured her. "Even with Onee-sama's fertility the chances of her getting pregnant were practically zero. Without the devilukian genetics the odds of you getting pregnant are zero."

"That's a relief." Risa sighed. "I don't want to ruin my body, at least not yet."

"Pardon?" Lala blinked.

"Well if you force a baby out of body it is going to get stretched. Naruto would probably not enjoy sex with me as much if I gave birth." Risa smiled as she stretched out.

"Naruto won't want to make love to me after I have children?!" Lala looked horrified.

"Humans are less durable than devilukians and there can be some wear and tear during the childbirth stage," Momo reassured her big sister, "It's not something we have to worry about besides," Momo smiled softly. "If he doesn't mind about what I become when I am unsealed then I can guarantee he won't care about that."

"You're right," Lala sighed happily.

"Just a quick question though," Momo coughed, "Why are you showing these signs of pregnancy? Even if devilukians showed the same symptoms as humans you wouldn't be showing any of them right now."

"Well," Lala looked embarrassed. "Naruto seemed so excited at the thought of me being pregnant so I figured I'd show some of the symptoms for him seeing as devilukian pregnancy symptoms are… well a little more extreme."

"Huh," Momo snorted with laughter. "Only you would eat such strange things for Naruto's sake."

"Oh but they taste really good!" Lala beamed.

"Onee-sama…" Momo sweat-dropped.

* * *

Rito adjusted the shirt he had found in the room and tried to adjust it to cover more of her body. Fortunately whoever had left her in that room (and Rito's growing suspicion was that Naruto was somehow involved in this scheme) had left her some clothes although they revealed far more than he… or was that she would have liked.

The tank top showed off her belly and the shorts she was wearing barely covered her rear cheeks. She was wearing thigh high socks and some sexy black panties. Unfortunately Rito was unable to put the bra on without passing out so had given up on that. He couldn't help but squeeze his breasts and found the soft sensation to be amazing. He was almost thankful to Lala for this opportunity.

'_My breasts are bigger than Haruna's.' _Rito idly thought as he walked down the streets. _'W-what am I thinking?' _Rito shook his/her head furiously.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing."

"W-what?" Rito was snapped out of his/her thoughts by a dark chuckle and suddenly three delinquents emerged from an alleyway, one carrying a baseball bat with nails in it over his shoulder. The other was wearing large steel toe-capped boots. All three were wearing hoodies with a white panther emblazoned on the back. "Who are you?"

"We are members of the Panthers!" The three declared.

"I am the leader of the 22nd Assault Squad, Soma!" Soma stamped his steel toe capped boots and posed dramatically.

"And we are his minions!" The other two declared.

"W-wait!" Rito leapt backwards. "You're the gang that attacked the school that time."

"That was the 2nd Assault Squad," Soma spat on the floor. "Little bitches think that just because they have access to weapons that they are some sort of big deal."

"Er…" Rito tried to back away. He/she was painfully aware that he/she wasn't a good fighter and against three stronger opponents, there was very little chance that Rito could win a fight and Rito didn't favour his/her chances at running away. "Please… Don't hurt me."

"Hurt you?" Soma blinked. "What gave you the idea that we were trying to hurt you?"

"Er…" Rito gestured vaguely at them. "Well you look like some kind of gang."

"Huh?" The minions took in their appearance. "Hey! She's right! Maybe this is why I don't have a girlfriend!"

"This is the Panther's uniform!" Soma remarked. "This is a symbol of our identity! A sign that despite being abandoned by humanity… We are still not alone!"

"Eh?" Rito blinked.

"We are all outcasts and orphans," Soma rubbed his forehead. "No one wanted us not even our parents but then the boss found us and united us, gave us purpose! There is not one Panther who wouldn't lay down his life for the boss!"

"All hail the boss!" The minions cheered.

"So you're not going to attack me?" Rito asked.

"No of course not!" Soma rubbed his nose. "We of the 22nd Squad believe in treating women fairly! We don't go out of our way to attack people!"

"Except that Naruto and that green haired demoness!" The minions chimed in. "And anyone who is an ally of our two sworn enemies! And the hated demon boar!"

"Damn that boar," Soma shivered.

"Besides them we don't attack anyone!" The minions finished. "Well except those EA reps."

"Well yeah," Soma scowled, "But they were asking for it!"

"So… could you direct me to Sainan High?" Rito asked.

"I'm busy unfortunately but…" Soma sighed. "I know a way to summon someone who can help. I'll need you to scream convincingly."

"Eh?"

"Trust me," Soma reached into his pocket and swallowed some painkillers.

"Okay…" Rito blinked.

"Now how about you take off those clothes?!" Soma growled menacingly.

"Eh?" Rito blinked at the 180 in Soma's personality. "Oh right… No!" He/she screamed.

"Gargh!" Soma was sent flying backwards and a familiar figure landed between the minions who quickly picked Soma up and retreated.

"You alright?" Naruto asked as he adjusted the shopping bag he had over his shoulder.

"Er… Yes." Rito bowed his head. _'Seriously?! Of all the people to run into to… At least it wasn't Haruna-chan.' _

"Hmm…" Naruto stared at Rito curiously. "Have we met before? You look really familiar to me."

"Ah…" Rito panicked. _'I can't let him know that I'm a girl! He… He'll probably tell Haruna and then she will think I'm a pervert and then she will join Naruto's harem! I have to prevent that from happening at all costs!'_ "I don't think so."

"What's your name?" Naruto tilted his head, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Ri…ko." Rito, or Riko as he had called him/herself, cursed his/her stupidity. _'He's not a complete idiot and he knows Lala has some strange inventions. There is no way that he is going to fall for that.'_

"Riko?" Naruto frowned. "That's it! You look like one of my friends Rito! Kind of funny that you have a similar name as well." _'Okay she is definitely female and an attractive one at that but why do I have a feeling Lala has done something to turn Rito into a girl… But if that's the case why doesn't he just admit it?' _

"That's my cousin," Riko laughed uneasily. "I am here to visit him."

"Oh?" Naruto looked at Riko suspiciously. "I'll give him a ring."

"Oh you don't have to…" Riko started mentally screaming.

"Hello?" Naruto blinked. "Oh I'm just with someone saying they're your cousin. Oh you were expecting her." Naruto looked embarrassed. "Yes, yes I'll pass you to her." He handed the phone to Riko, "It's Rito."

"It is?" Riko blinked as she accepted the phone.

"Hello!" Lala's voice called over the other end. "I used a voice modulator to convince Naruto that he was talking to you!"

"Oh really?" Riko glanced at Naruto who was currently rummaging through his shopping bag. "And why would you do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Lala sighed, "You want to be with Haruna right?"

"That's right."

"Then first you need to learn how to act around girls, right?"

"Well yes."

"Then go on a date with Naruto!"

"…I think you may have missed out a lot of steps in that plan," Riko sweat dropped.

"Isn't it obvious?" Riko could picture Lala's confused expression. "Naruto knows how to act around girls in a way that they like. If you witness this first hand then you'll be able to replicate the behaviour!"

"I guess…" Riko blinked. "When you put it like that it actually makes some sort of sense."

"I am a genius," Lala declared proudly. "At least that's what Naruto keeps telling me."

"Yeah, yeah," Riko had to admit that the invention Lala had used was genius, although she wished that someone else could have been the target of it.

"But how am I supposed to…" Riko trailed off aware of Naruto's attention being on her again.

"Oh don't worry about that!" Lala laughed, "Just give the phone back to Naruto! Oh but before you do be careful! You're new body will have a whole new range of hormones that your brain isn't used to so it might cause you to react strangely."

"Alright…" Riko handed the phone to Naruto, "She wants to talk to you."

"She?"

"Oh that…" Riko laughed weakly, "I used to always call Rito a girl because he is…"

"Kind of effeminate?" Naruto laughed. "I know Mikan always calls him a little girl because he is so useless at physical tasks."

"He's not that useless!" Riko snapped.

"Sorry, seems like someone has a soft spot for their cousin," He took the phone from Riko. "Hey there. You want me to what? Er… I guess but I have some supplies to give to Lala and… Oh… She did, did she? Why does not surprise me. What do you mean, what do I mean? You know that Lala has a tendency to come up with half baked plans to achieve some sort of objective known only to her. Do I find it cute? Er… I guess but sometimes they just cause me a headache. Why do you care? Rito? Rito?" Naruto glanced at the screen, "He hung up. I wonder what upset him."

"What did she… I mean he say?"

"Apparently he wants me to give you a tour of Sainan whilst he finished whatever it is he is doing." Naruto smiled. _'Apparently he is planning a welcome party for her. I guess he must be quite close to this girl.' _

'_**I think you should totally sleep with her.' **_

'_You should spread your love around the city! Love was not meant to be chained down! It must be shared! Like funny cat videos on the internet! They were made to be enjoyed by all!' _

'_Stop watching pointless things on my head-internet or whatever it is you use!' _Naruto rubbed his forehead. "So if you want me to show you around…" Naruto looked at her.

"That… That would be great!" Riko grinned. _'If Lala is right then doing this could really help me with Haruna.' _

"Great," Naruto smiled warmly at her.

Riko nodded and eagerly followed him as he pointed out places to her.

"This area is the old industrial area," Naruto gestured to the area they were in, "It's fallen on hard times recently which is why most people avoid it. Some less than desirable characters make their home there."

"Hm…" Riko nodded absent-mindely. _'So far I don't see why so many girls are interested in him. Sure he is friendly and approachable and the way he appeared to save me from trouble (even though I wasn't actually in trouble) was kind of heroic I don't see why he has so many female admirers.'_

Whilst Riko was deep in thought about why Naruto was so popular with the girls, Naruto was having his own internal debate.

'_**I think lil' Riko has a thing for you.' **_

'_What makes you think that?' _

'_**I can feel her eyes mentally undressing you.' **_

'_Don't be stupid,' _Naruto smiled to himself. _'She's only just met me. Plus with how defensive she is about Rito I'm guessing her affections lie with him.' _

'_**Oh I see what your plan is, you sneaky boy you. You plan on getting Riko and Rito together in order to win Haruna's affections!' **_

'_What? Of course not!' _

'_**So you are just going to let her get heart broken when she finds out that Rito only has eyes for Haruna? How cruel of you! Her heart broken face as she realises the futility of her love… If only I were sealed in her I would make her a sex crazy nympho trying to forget the heartache by drowning herself in lust! I don't suppose you'd be willing to do that?' **_

'_And I'm back to ignoring you.' _

'_This seems like a classic ToraDora situation! We have a young girl and a young guy trying to help each other land the girl of there dreams and then it turns out they were meant for each other all along!' _

'_Eh?' _

'_Naruto helps Riko get Rito and Riko helps Naruto get Haruna but in the process they realise they truly love each other!'_

'_**Yeah I doubt that is the case here but I'm all for it if it gets that cute girl naked and in Naruto's bed.' **_

'_Seriously? Of all the Arcangus and Damus to get sealed in me…' _Naruto tuned out the voices of the demon and… well she was technically an angel although you'd never guess it.

Naruto and Riko continued the tour with minimal conversational until they reached a cafe.

"And this is the café where…" Naruto smiled fondly. "Yui-chan and I have our dates more often than not."

"Dates?"

"Oh right," Naruto laughed, "Yui-chan is my girlfriend."

"I see," Riko stared at him. "So you have a girlfriend."

'_**Idiot! You've blown a sure thing! I wash my hands of you!' **_

"Yeah," Naruto smiled, "She's a little high strung but she's a good person."

Riko opened her mouth to talk but was silenced by her stomach rumbling.

"Oh you're hungry?" Naruto chuckled as Riko blushed. "Do you have any money?"

"Er… I spent all my money getting here," Riko lied. _'Why did Lala not leave me my wallet?!'_

"Well since you are a family member of a friend," Naruto smiled, "I guess I can buy you something to eat."

Riko opened her mouth to say thank you but found herself blushing uncontrollably as he smiled at her. _'W-what is going on? Is this a side effect of the machine?! What has Lala done to me?!' _

Naruto lead her into the café where they were quickly seated.

"So," Naruto rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "What brings you to this little part of Japan?"

"Oh I just wanted to check in on my cousin," Riko coughed.

"I see," Naruto nodded, "You worry about him just like Mikan then?"

"Mikan worries about m-him?" Riko covered her slip.

"Yeah," Naruto who was focused on the menu missed her slip up. "Rito's a good kid but…" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "He gets so worked up about everything. He over thinks everything and more often than not causes his own downfall bit he's a good kid." Naruto smiled. "I wish him every happiness."

"R-really," Riko smiled softly.

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled. "I'm rooting for him to confess his feelings to Haruna and be accepted."

"I…" Riko felt so happy that Naruto was supporting him but for some reason burst into tears.

"Eh?" Naruto panicked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Riko sobbed. "I don't know why I am crying."

"Here," Naruto offered her some tissues. _'Damn it! I forgot she has feelings for Rito and I've gone and told her that he is in love with someone else!' _

'_**Wait a minute… Are you trying to get her so sad she starts drinking away her issues… and her inhibitions?' **_Naruto could almost sense Asmodea's eyebrows wiggling.

"Thanks," Riko blew her nose noisily. "Sorry that wasn't very lady like of me."

"Don't worry," Naruto smiled warmly. "If you need someone to talk to about anything I'm here. I don't like seeing pretty girls upset, especially not if I can do something about it!" Naruto posed in a dorky way and Riko couldn't help but giggle, "That's better. You look so cute when you smile."

Riko decided to focus on the menu. _'What the hell?! Why is my heart beating so fast? Is this part of Naruto's charm? Wait a minute?! Is he trying to seduce me?!'_

'_There… she seems happier.' _Naruto was pleased with himself. Kenichi had once told him that the best way to cheer up a sad girl was to flatter them. Of course when Kenichi had tried it the girl had sprayed him in the eyes with pepper spray but still… the theory was sound.

* * *

"Ah," Saki smiled as she walked through Sainan High with Aya and Rin. "It has been too long since we had a good old fashioned shopping spree." She gestured to the small army of suited butlers carrying the shopping.

"It was a nice distraction," Rin agreed. Too often she found her thoughts drifting off to Naruto and how she should apologise to him.

_Rin's Imagination _

"Naruto-dono…" Rin kneeled before Naruto wearing a red kimono with an unsheathed tanto before her. "I committed a grave sin. Please be my second as I redeem my honour." She picked the tanto up and tried to dis-embowel herself but Naruto grabbed the blade in his hand, his blood flowing from the deep cut, "Naruto-dono?!"

"No," He whispered as she released the blade, pulling material from her kimono to try and dress his wound. "I ask not for your death." He whispered seductively into her ear as she treated his wound. "I ask for your life."

"M-My life?" She blushed crimson. "But I serve Saki-sama…"

"I don't need a servant," Naruto's bandaged hand cupped her chin as he leaned in for a kiss. "I need a lover."

"N-Naruto…" Rin closed her eyes and leaned forwards.

_End Rin's Imagination_

"Rin!" Saki pulled her friend to one side. "Are you alright? You almost wandered into a street light."

"Oh?!" Rin bowed her head, "Sorry Saki-sama. I was distracted."

"You've been distracted a lot of late." Saki remarked.

"You're one to speak Saki-sama," Aya commented.

"Pardon?"

"You haven't made a single plot against Lala-san for a week."

"Oh that," Saki waved a hand dismissively. "I have bigger fish to fry." She frowned as she recalled the party. _'There is no doubt in my mind that Naruto as the one who saved me all that time ago. Does he even remember that? Probably not. He has saved a lot of people and yet for some reason most of the school seems to treat him as a… a villain. Why? In my interactions with him I have found him to be nothing but charming and honest. This doesn't sit well with me!' _Saki bit her lip. "We need to have a school festival!"

"Saki-sama?" Rin and Aya exchanged glances.

"A festival to celebrate the unsung heroes!" Saki declared.

"Oh like the members of the community and so on," Aya nodded. "That sounds like a fun idea!"

"There shall be tournaments!" Saki declared. _'Chances for Naruto to show off his skills!' _

"That sounds like fun," Rin smiled. _'Maybe… Maybe Naruto and I can have our much delayed Kendo match!' _

"There shall be food and dancing!" _'So Naruto can show off his cultured side!' _

"We can get all the classes to make their own stalls… like a culture festival!" Aya nodded eagerly.

"Indeed," Saki smiled. "And what kind of festival would it be if we didn't have a beauty pageant! Which I of course shall be participating in!" _'Okay this is just a chance for me to beat Lala. But the rest is for Naruto.' _Saki nodded as she formed plans. _'You saved me from a fate worse than death. The least I can do is show the school your true worth! No friend of the Tenjouin family will be looked down on so long as I draw breath!' _

"Oh look it's Naruto!" Aya pointed to a small café where Naruto was chatting with a girl none of them had ever seen before.

"Who is that?" Rin felt a strange feeling in her stomach that she didn't like one bit.

"I do not know," Saki narrowed her eyes. _'Has Naruto been dumped by Kotegawa-san? If that's the case then… Prince Charming is back on the market!' _Saki smiled to herself. _'Rin seems to have a little bit of a soft spot for him so maybe I can arrange for a heart to heart.' _

"Err…" Aya was regretting pointing the blonde out to her friends. Rin was stroking her sword and frowning whilst Saki had pulled out a fan to hide her smirk. Aya was pretty sure this was smirk #24 or the 'I have just had a wonderful idea' smirk. "Sorry Naruto," Aya mumbled and clapped her hands as if praying. "I may have accidentally caused you some trouble." She bowed her head slightly in his direction.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was an unusual being by many accounts. Yami had been assigned many targets in her life time and none of them caused her as much confusion as the idiotic blonde currently talking to a girl who Yami was 95% sure was a boy the last time Yami had seen him/her. Then again maybe humans regularly changed their gender, they wouldn't be the first race to do so as Run/Ren could testify.

That would make Naruto's apparent disbelief that Ren and Run were two separate beings more understandable if human's had a similar trait only they kept the same personality. Yami made a note to ask Mikan at some point and decided to imagine what a male Mikan would look like before freezing in shock and returning her attention to her target.

That had been happening a lot lately. She was growing soft and allowing her mind to wander. The old her would have remained focused on her target for hours on end with unblinking focus but lately she was finding it harder and harder to do. Maybe Mikan could explain that to her as well.

Yami paused as Naruto left the café, chatting animatedly with the female who was once male and Yami shadowed him, following them from the rooftops, a silent shadow leaping from building to building, completely undetected.

Life with Naruto had been… strange. Yami was used to not staying in one place for a long time before her client had ordered her after another target with the promise that the one who referred to himself as her brother was not far away, yet after every mission she had 'just missed him'. Yami was no fool and was well aware that Lacaspo had no idea where the 'Big Brother' who had saved her was but he did have connections and they would have been useful in finding him.

Now she had the Princess' assistance and Lala was more than willing to do everything she could to help the blonde assassin. Even as she stood overlooking Naruto and Riko, Devilukian Scouts were probing the darkest regions of space for any clue that could lead to her meeting the mystery figure who claimed to be her family.

Family… Now that was a word that sprung up strange feelings in her chest. She had vague recollections of… a big sister? Why did the word tearful lunatic come to mind? Her mind hurt when she thought about it too long so she quickly dropped the line of thought. Yami was no stranger to having her mind wiped as many missions she had taken were of a sensitive nature although why her past had been erased as well confused her. Narrowing her eyes, she watched Naruto enter a bakery with Riko in toe. If she could find this brother then maybe he could enlighten her.

She imagined a male version of herself only taller and… she froze. Again. She had been daydreaming again. She shook her head furiously to dispel the image. She was a blade in the darkness. She was unfeeling, unforgiving death. That was her role no matter what the blonde idiot kept telling her. She had no family, she was no little girl that needed protecting. She was the Golden Darkness and she…

There was a thud and Yami span around, her hair turned to spears that stopped short of all the vitals of the target that had appeared.

"Greetings oh fair maiden," Tenshi, Naruto's Arcangus clone, bowed. "The Master thought you might like a snack." He handed her a bun before vanishing with a small spark of white light.

"Idiot," Yami mumbled as she ate the bun. "It's good." She wiped her mouth clean and was about to toss away the wrapper when she noticed a message on the wrapper. "Thanks for keeping an eye on me Yami-chan love from your Onii-chan!" She read and blinked emotionlessly at the chibi Naruto drawn on the wrapper.

She was the Golden Darkness and she didn't need family.

Yami stared at the chibi drawing before carefully folding the wrapper and tucking it in her dress like a lucky charm.

Yes, she was the Golden Darkness and she didn't need family.

But that didn't mean she didn't want one.

* * *

Naruto smiled as he sat on the fountain with his ice cream, watching Riko play football with some kids who had challenged her.

'_**She has a nice ass doesn't she,' **_Asmodea cut through Naruto's day dream.

'_I guess so,' _Naruto shrugged.

'_**Don't give me that! I know you've been checking her out.' **_

'_Hardly,' _Naruto shook his head. _'Just deep in thought. I've been thinking that I haven't really spent much time with Haruna-chan lately.' _

'_**Well you do have a harem of girls at your beck and call. I suppose you don't need to fawn over her in a desperate attempt to earn her love.' **_

'_I don't have a harem.' Naruto automatically replied. 'And that's not what I meant. She's one of my friends.' _

'_**Incoming.' **_

'_What?' _Naruto was snapped out of his daydream by a football (or soccer ball) hitting him in the face and knocking him into the pool.

"Ah sorry!" Riko ran over and helped him out.

"At least Lala's snacks didn't get wet," Naruto sighed as he gestured to the shopping bag that had been perched at his feet.

"Er… Yeah…" Riko blinked as Naruto stripped his soaking shirt off, revealing his well chiselled abs. "Huh." '_Man Naruto is really well built… Wait what did I just think?!' _Riko shook her head furiously.

"How Shameless!"

"Huh?" Naruto grinned, "Wow this is nostalgic."

"Stripping in public, have you no morals!" Yui Kotegawa advanced on the chuckling Naruto. "Do you think your behaviour is amusing?"

"Not at all," Naruto grabbed Yui in a bear hug earning a squeak from the girl.

"S-stop it! You're getting me wet!"

"How shameless," Naruto gasped. "Talking about such things in public!"

"What?" Yui blinked then went crimson. "That's not… I meant…" Steam started coming out of her ears.

"I know, I know," He kissed her softly on the forehead

"Bully," She mumbled as he broke the hug.

"I know, I know," Naruto repeated as he wrung out his shirt and put it back on. "So what brings you here Yui-chan?"

"I was looking for my idiot brother," Yui scowled. "He bailed on the Maid Café again and they called our house. I promised I would help them find him." She paused, "And who is this?" Yui turned to Riko.

"I'm… Riko pleased to meet you."

"Riko?" Yui glanced at Naruto. "Has Lala…"

"That's what I thought too," Naruto shook his head, "But I spoke with Rito on the phone."

"Oh," Yui bowed apologetically. "I thought… I'm pleased to meet you, I am Yui Kotegawa: Naruto's G-g-g-g-g-good friend." She finished lamely.

"Isn't she cute?" Naruto laughed and wrapped an arm around her. "She's too shy to say girlfriend."

"I-idiot!" Yui blushed.

"Pleased to meet you too," Riko bowed back. "I'm Riko Yuuki."

The trio walked in relative silence, Yui just enjoying the feeling of her hand in Naruto's. She had seriously considered moving into the Uzumaki household so she could spend more time with Naruto but that seemed like such a huge step.

"You look deep in thought," Naruto glanced at Yui.

"Naruto… you love me right?"

"Yeah?"

"Would… If… If I had been in Risa's place…"

"Would I have married you?" Naruto finished.

"…" Yui fell silent and stared at her feet.

"Without a second's hesitation," Naruto squeezed her hand. "No matter who I'd have to fight, I would kick their ass into orbit then sweep you off your feet."

"R-really?" Yui blushed.

_Yui's Imagination._

Yui was wearing a beautiful wedding dress but her groom, Kenichi was wearing farmer's clothes.

"Do you…" The vicar started the ceremony but was cut off by Naruto charging into the church and kicking Kenichi into the ceiling.

"I do, she does, we all do." Naruto grabbed Yui and ran off with her, carrying her bridal style.

_End Yui's Imagination _

Yui giggled to herself earning a raised eyebrow from Naruto.

"You never doubt yourself do you?" Yui whispered.

"I have plenty of people who doubt me," Naruto remarked dryly. "Why make their jobs any easier by doing it for them?"

"R-really?" Riko blinked. As far as he/she was aware, everyone in their immediate circle got on really well with the blonde.

"Yeah," Naruto frowned softly. "While my friends trust me most of the school thinks I am a delinquent and a good for nothing. One day that'll change though." He nodded sagely. "One day I will prove to them all that I am not who they think I am."

"Why do they think that?" Riko asked.

"Well…" Naruto pointed at his hair. "Apparently because I'm blonde I'm a delinquent. This hair attracts other delinquents who try and fight me so…" Naruto fidgeted, "It isn't as if I can't see where they are coming from."

"I never knew," Riko muttered. _'I guess even Naruto has issues.' _

"How could you?" Naruto asked.

"Huh?" Riko blinked, "Ah I meant I never knew that someone as strong as you could have a whole different set of problems."

"Oh," Naruto chuckled. "You have no idea what kind of trouble I get myself into in a regular basis."

"Don't sound so pleased about that," Yui sighed.

"Sorry Yui-chan," Naruto smiled. "I know you don't like me getting hurt."

"Idiot," She muttered and squeezed his hand, smiling as she felt him give a light squeeze back. "So Riko-chan wasn't it? What's life like where you come from?"

"Er… Well…" Riko panicked internally. _'What do I say? I can't make my backstory too like my own, Naruto and Yui are already suspicious! Wait I've got it! _"I don't… I don't really like to talk about home."

"Oh," Yui looked guilty, "I'm sorry if I made you think of something you'd rather not."

"It's okay…" Riko brushed her hair out of her eyes, "It's… It's okay."

"I see," Naruto whispered softly. "You know you are safe here."

"W-what?" Riko blinked.

"I noticed the markings on your arms," Naruto indicated her wrists. "You were strapped down to a table or something."

"I…" Riko fidgeted. _'I don't know what to say!' _

"If you need a safe place to stay my house has plenty of rooms." Naruto spoke softly. "I will protect you from… whoever it is. I give you my word."

Riko was lost for words. Even though he/she knew the markings were from when Lala had strapped him/her to the table, the concern in Naruto's voice triggered something and Riko started to cry again.

"Er… Sorry I shouldn't have forced you to…" Naruto looked at Yui who shot him a warning look.

"It's okay," Yui hugged the sniffling Riko.

"I… I don't know what's wrong with me." Riko sniffled.

"Let it all out," Yui whispered soothingly.

"Thank you," Riko smiled at Naruto. "You… You really are a good person."

"Huh?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Well I try to but I'm a little blunt at times."

"Come on," Yui smiled at Riko, "Let's go shopping. That ought to make you feel better and of course Naruto will carry all our things as an apology for making you cry."

"I will?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes, you will." Yui stated.

"Oh… right…" Naruto sighed as he followed the two(?) girls.

"You know…" Riko smiled. "You are lucky to have someone as good as Naruto."

"I know," Yui smiled. "Even with all his baggage… I am glad to call him my b-b-boy-best friend."

"So close!" Naruto gasped and Riko laughed.

"Just for that you are buying mister," Yui mumbled as Naruto and Riko continued laughing all the way up to the store.

"Er… This store?" Riko gulped.

"I noticed you aren't wearing a bra," Yui whispered. "So I figured here would be the best place to start."

"Er… right…" Riko gulped as Yui lead her into the store. She glanced at Naruto and the faint tint of a blush was on his cheeks as he entered the store.

Yui started looking through the bras. "What are your cup sizes?"

"Er…" Riko shrugged. "I don't know?"

"Oh…" Yui pursed her lips and looked at Naruto.

"What?" The obvious uncomfortable Naruto fidgeted. "I can't tell a girl's sizes just by looking. What kind of pervert do you think I am?"

"Sorry," Yui blushed. "I just figured… I mean you have a lot of women who… you know…"

"I do know." He kissed her softly, "But it isn't your appearances that are the reason I am with you. It is your personalities." He looked around, "Of course the fact you are smoking hot sure doesn't hurt."

"S-shameless!" Yui blushed as Naruto hugged her.

"Love you," He whispered into her ear, causing shivers down her spine.

'_So… this is how you seduce people?!' _Riko stared intently. _'This might actually be a valuable learning exercise. I might even thank Lala for it.' _

"S-stop…" Yui blushed. "Not in public!"

"So we can continue this in private?" Naruto chuckled and leant in to kiss her neck but paused as his phone vibrated and he pulled it out to look at the message.

[Three size's of Riko: B: 87 W:55.5 H:84. You're welcome.] – Psycho Maid.

"What?" He looked around furiously.

"Naruto?" Yui looked concerned.

"Her bust is apparently 87cm." Naruto glanced at his phone. "And we are being watched by that psychotic maid." He muttered under his breath.

[I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake…] – Psycho Maid.

"And now she is ruining Christmas carols for me…" Naruto shivered.

"Okay…" Yui handed a few bras to Riko and ushered her into the changing rooms, completely oblivious to the mental assault on her boyfriend. "Try these on."

"Okay…" Riko mumbled weakly as she shut the curtains behind her and stared at her shocked expression. "Okay… this is my body. It's nothing special… I can do this." He started undressing and saw his breasts in the mirror. "I can't do this." Riko careered backwards with a jet force nosebleed and into the blissful darkness of unconsciousness.

* * *

"Okay…" Kushina frowned as Lala poured the chocolate covered herrings and strawberry jam covered steaks into a blender and happily reduced them to liquids. "I think we need to have a serious discussion." She looked at the other girls who were gathered at the table.

"About what?" Mikan asked as she unsteadily made her way to the table.

"About… are you alright?" Kushina blinked.

"Just getting used to walking in high heels." Mikan mumbled.

"Why?" Kushina paused, "Actually never mind I don't care. This is more important!"

"What is it?" Momo leaned on the table, curious why Kushina had arranged this meeting.

"Is it about Ane-ue's eating issues?" A slightly pale Nana asked.

"No," Kushina crossed her arms. "It's about the new household member we are expecting!"

"Huh," Momo tilted her head, "Is Kushina actually addressing a serious topic?"

"Hey! I'm always talking about serious issues!"

"Your kinky sex plans are not serious."

"Sex is serious business," Kushina declared. "But back to the matter at hand," She pointed at Lala who was happily drinking the obscene concoction, "How long do devilukian pregnancies last? What are the symptoms? Are sure that it isn't just trapped wind?"

"Pregnancy in devilukians can last anything from twelve days to twelve years," Momo shrugged. "The mother decides when she actually gives birth after the foetus has fully developed."

"Wait a second… do you mean…" Kushina looked shocked. "You could have a whole twelve years of pregnancy sex?"

"That can't be a thing," Nana scowled.

"Trust me it is," Risa smiled. "Although it isn't one of Naruto's fetishes."

"Yet," Kushina cut in.

"Earthlings are weird," Nana mumbled.

"Moving on," Momo coughed politely, "The symptoms vary depending on whether a Damus spirit is sealed within the mother or not."

"And since Lala has one?" Risa leaned forward.

"She may be a little… unbalanced once the pregnancy is in full flow." Momo smiled awkwardly. "Satalin was not known for her calm and compassionate nature and Lala will have 'surges' of Satalin's power influencing her at times."

"Ah," Kushina slowly edged away from the cheerful alien who was currently buttering a banana and eel sandwich.

"Don't worry there are preparations in place," Momo reassured Kushina.

"I can hold off the worst symptoms until special facilities are installed for my use," Lala beamed as she poured treacle syrup on the sandwich. "And I can invent several things to help reduce the effect carrying Naruto's child will have on me." Lala took a huge bite of the sandwich and looked as if she was enjoying it.

"Oh," Kushina blinked. "So… has anyone told Gid?"

"I think it would be a good idea to leave him in the dark for a while." Momo cleared her throat. "Papa is not the kind of person who would take this news well."

"Oh…" Lala looked embarrassed. "I kind of already sent the monthly letter to Mama and Papa and may have mentioned being pregnant."

"…Well Earth was a nice planet while it lasted," Momo shoulder's dropped.

* * *

Riko groaned as she awoke from her slumber. As the world swam into focus she realised she was being carried piggyback and Naruto was the one carrying her/him. She/he chose to stay quiet as Naruto expertly weaved through the crowds, moving at an impressive speed but let out a shriek of fear as Naruto leapt a good ten feet into the air to run along a fence.

"Oh! You've woken up," Naruto cheerfully remarked. "Are you alright?"

"I er…" Riko paused. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Yui-chan found you passed out in the girl's changing room and ordered me to take you to a doctor we know."

"Oh," Riko blinked. "Who is that?"

"She's called Mikado and she's… a little forward but she is a good person." Naruto decided against revealing the whole alien thing and the rest of the journey was carried out in relative silence.

'_Is this the secret of Naruto's luck with the ladies? He makes them feel safe and secure, makes them feel as if nothing bad will happen so long as he is there?' _Riko shut her eyes and relaxed. _'Is it even possible for me to make people feel the same way?' _

Naruto landed at Mikado's front door and let Riko off of his shoulders. "Hello?" Naruto rang the doorbell. "Mikado-sensei?" He tried the door which opened. "Stay here," He told Riko.

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm sure everything is fine," Naruto smiled at her before entering the apartment. It looked a mess as if a small tornado had torn through the building, throwing everything around the room. "Damn it." He scowled. "All the really expensive Earth tech has been left but I don't see any of the alien stuff she uses."

"We meet again," A rasping voice hissed from the shadows.

"Huh?" Naruto span around to see a half cyborg rat creature amble towards him. It was wearing a cloak that concealed the majority of its body but the half rat face was familiar to Naruto. "You… you're that rat that I defeated who was harassing Mikado-sensei."

"Strange, I thought humans aged faster than you have…. But then again I never knew humans could command the type of power that you showed." The Rat assassin hissed.

"I didn't do that much damage to you," Naruto gestured at the robotic enhancements.

"No these were from the boss." The rat creature glared at Naruto with a glowing red cybernetic eye, "He doesn't take failure very well."

"Well maybe you are in the wrong line of work," Naruto scowled.

"I've waited so many years for a chance at revenge against you!" The rat assassin laughed hysterically. "I won't be denied!" He launched himself at Naruto only to be intercepted by a barrage of blonde blades that clattered against the augmented assassin, forcing him back.

"He is my target," Yami intoned as he stood between Naruto and the Rat.

"The Golden Darkness?!" The Rat retreated. "I will have my revenge! No matter how many girls you hide behind you coward!"

"Everything you say just pisses me off more and more!" Naruto called on the familiar warm feeling of his Damus aura and with a roar of "Akuma Yari!" he launched a blast of crimson energy at the rat who deflected it with a back hand slap, blowing the side of building out, which the assassin fled out of. "Oh so the Were-rat has levelled up eh?"

"I will eliminate him," Yami intoned.

"No," Naruto put a hand on her shoulder. "His presence must have something to do with Mikado's disappearance. We need him alive."

"…Understood," Yami remarked as the two blondes leapt out of the building.

"Naruto!" Riko screamed.

"Oh hell no!" Naruto growled as he saw the rat monster holding a syringe against the former male's throat.

"Fefefefeh!" The creature laughed. "It doesn't matter how strong you are. I just have to focus on your weak points and you have so many! You can't stand to see innocents get hurt."

"Let her go!" Naruto ordered.

"Or what?" The rat creature snarled.

"Or else I'll make you!"

"Empty bravado won't save either of you!"

"Riko," Naruto looked her in the eyes. "I will save you."

"Naruto?" Riko fond him/herself staring into his eyes and felt strangely calm. It was as if just seeing him made him/her feel reassured.

"Yami," Naruto never broke eye contact with Riko, "Make sure Riko gets home safe okay?"

"Understood," Yami intoned.

"Thanks," Naruto ruffled her hair affectionately. "Onii-chan appreciates it."

Yami didn't respond but if one were to look closely enough you might be able to convince yourself there was a slight hint of a blush on her cheeks.

"Hey Rat face," Naruto grinned, "Kawarimi!"

"Eh?" The assassin blinked as in a flicker of air, he was suddenly grappling with Naruto and a confused Riko was stood next to Yami.

"Shoten!" Naruto condensed his aura then rammed his elbow into the assassin's stomach causing him to double over and release him. "Akuma Yari!" Naruto placed his palm in the assassins face and launched a point blank blast of energy that exploded causing the cybernetic assassin to stagger backwards.

"Optics… 24% Functionality." The former plague-lord robotically commented. "Combat Efficiency greatly impaired."

"Tell me where you have taken Mikado and I might only half kill you," Naruto threatened.

"She wasn't taken. She chose to come with us," The robotic rodent held out its arm, launching a salvo of laser blasts that Naruto easily dodged.

"Why would she willingly go with you?" Naruto challenged, forming a spiralling orb of red energy in his outstretched palm and squeezing it. "Kusanagi!" He deftly deflected the last of salvo and hurled the sword at the assassin, impaling the laser cannon installed in the air. "Akuma Danmaku," With a click of his fingers the energy construct erupted in a salvo of powerful energy blasts, hurtling the damaged cyborg backwards, his main weapon crackling useless as he staggered back to his feet.

"You think her innocent? She has killed far more than I have. Do you even have the slightest clue just who that doctor is?"

"I don't care who she used to be. All I care is who she is now."

"Foolish," The rat creature launched two missiles from beneath the cloak.

"Kawarimi," Naruto swapped places with a nearby dustbin and frowned as the missiles swerved away at the last minute and continued tracking him. "Okay then try this on for size, Akuma Danmaku!" He launched a small barrage of red energy blasts which detonated the two missiles. "Really if this is all you have then I would just save yourself the time and surrender to me now."

"I'm not finished yet!" The rat-assassin snarled as he pressed several buttons on a robotic limb and space ship appeared from nowhere and started launching a volley of high powered laser rounds at Naruto, forcing him to retreat into an alley way whilst the ship continued its erratic barrage.

There were screams as the locals started to leave their houses and flee in the face of the destructive blasts from the ship.

"Well isn't this fun," Naruto groaned as he tried to deflect a blast with his Kusanagi attack, only for the high energy laser bolt to detonate and send him hurtling backwards through Mikado's ruined clinic.

* * *

"Welcome home!" Lala greeted Yami and Riko as they trudged into the house. "Did you have fun?"

"Like hell!" Riko threw his/her arms up into the air. "Change me back now!"

"Fine…" Lala pouted as she pulled her d-dial from her cleavage and summoned the gadget she had used. "Gender change go!" She fired the energy beam at Riko, turning her back into Rito. "There you go."

"That's much better," Rito checked that all his pieces were still there. "I really missed being a man."

"Why? It's not as if you ever used your manhood," Momo responded with a smirk.

"Hey!" Rito protested.

"Well at least not with anyone who wasn't your right hand." Momo added.

"When will our house be rebuilt," Rito sighed. "I miss when it was only Mikan abusing me."

"So you're into that eh?" Momo remarked.

"Your worse than a perverted beast." Nana edged away from Rito.

"I'm not..." Rito tried to defend himself.

"It's okay... I Will always love you," Mikan consoled him from a distance. "No matter how wierd and messed up you are."

"You're look of pity hurts more than anything Momo could say..." Rito groaned.

"Here," Lala passed the gadget to Rito, "I've calibrated it to only work on you. If you should ever feel like you need more time with Naruto to learn how to act around girls then feel free to use it! Naruto and I both want you and Haruna to be happy."

"Like I'd ever use it," Rito scoffed and walked past bin. _'I should just get rid of it… although…' _He paused thoughtfully. _'I guess it could be useful…' _Rito stared at the strange contraption. _'Yes… I think I'll keep hold of this for now.' _Rito nodded and wandered to his room.

"Where's Naruto?" Momo turned to Yami.

"Fighting."

"That would explain the explosions and screams then," Momo sighed. "I'm sure he has everything under control."

"Maybe we should help him?" Lala suggested.

"We'd only get in his way." Momo smirked. "You have been watching him train right? If we can't sense the energy of whats attacking him from here then there is no way they are strong enough to defeat him."

"I have to help him," Yami vanished.

"Is Naruto in trouble?!" Mikan tried running towards them but tripped up and landed in an undignified heap. "Ouch…"

"Why don't you take those high heels off," Momo helped Mikan to her feet.

"I… Well…" Mikan looked embarrassed. "I was trying to look more mature."

"Why?" Nana asked.

"Well," Mikan started to fiddle with her hair, "Naruto… He said that… Well he likes mature girls so… I thought I should maybe…"

"Hmm..." Nana paused._ 'Maybe... Maybe I should try and look more mature... More sexy...' _She shook her head. _'Why would I want to look good for that perverted beast?!'_

"Hey is Naruto back?" Kushina came down wearing a fake baby bump.

"Do… Do I even want to know?" Nana sighed.

"Isn't it obvious," She rubbed the fake bump, "I'm getting started on developing Naruto's pregnancy fetish!"

"How shameless!"

"Oh Hi Yui-chan," Kushina waved at the new arrival.

"Hey there Yui-chan!" Lala beamed. "Nice to see you!" She hugged her fellow Harem sister.

"Hello Lala-san," Yui flinched, "Your breath is terrible! What have you been eating?"

"Don't ask," Mikan shivered.

"I have been suffering from pregnancy cravings!" Lala declared.

"W-what?!" Yui staggered backwards. "You… You are pregnant?!"

"That's right," She loving stroked her stomach, "I am carrying Naruto's child!"

"I… I.." Yui blinked. _'How have I been left so far behind?! I can barely kiss Naruto but Lala is actually pregnant with his child…' _

"I'm going to watch Naruto's fight on the drones!" Lala declared as she wandered towards Momo's room.

"I'll be there in a second," Momo turned to leave but was stopped by Yui putting a hand on her shoulder. "What?"

"Momo-san…" Yui gulped. "I want you… to teach me… how to seduce Naruto."

"Eh?!" Kushina and Momo staggered backwards.

"I always knew this day would come," Momo seemed to be fighting back tears. "Come… Let me give you a few ideas!"

"I… I don't want to be left behind," She whispered. "I love Naruto and… I want to make him feel good. I may not be willing to be impregnated by him just yet but… I can't just sit back and let Lala monopolise him!"

"Yui-chan," Kushina nodded at her smiling, "This is the start of a beautiful friendship. Let's work together to fill our debased desires!"

"It's not like that!" Yui protested weakly as Kushina and Momo started chanting 'Team Sexy Times'.

"You don't have to hide it," Momo laughed.

"Embrace it!" Kushina declared.

"Become a…" Risa joined in.

"SUPER PERVERT!" Kushina, Risa, Momo and Jiraiya declared.

"Jiraiya? How long have you been here?!"

"Me?" Jiraiya pointed at himself. "I just got here. I sensed a great potential in the Perversion, as if a pure soul suddenly cried out to be corrupted."

"…I regret everything," Yui whimpered as she was dragged off by the three Perverts.

"She will be a great pervert," Jiraiya declared and turned to Nana. "The next one to fall: You."

"Seriously," Nana deadpanned. "All you humans are perverts! I won't become so... so... ecchi!"

"Hmm," Jiraiya looked at Nana, "So it wasn't ecchi when you stole Naruto's…"

"SHUT UP!" Nana blushed furiously and lashed out at Jiraiya who simply laughed and dodged her attacks.

"Naruto is lucky," Jiraiya nodded. "I hope Karma is biting him in the ass right now though. With all this good luck he'd better be suffering!"

* * *

"Great," Naruto frowned as he peered out of Mikado's ruined clinic at the street that was being chewed up by the constant barrage of laser fire. "This definitely could be going better. I need to take out that ship before any innocents get hurt." He held an arm out, focusing as a small orb of red energy flickered to life inside it. "Compress…" He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the vibrations from the constant explosions and willed the sphere from its tennis ball size to a tiny pin prick of red light. "Okay… Let's see if this is as effective in real life as it is in the simulation training room, Akuma no Hageshi Goon! (A/N: Demon's Fierce Roar)." The miniscule sphere of light flew towards the ship, barely visible until it hit its target and Naruto released his compression ability, the unstable sphere erupted in a deafening explosion that shattered the windows of every building in the local area but only succeeded in knocking the space ship back. "Well I guess I got their attention," Naruto leapt out of the alleyway and towards the assassin who was now holding some sort of sniper rifle.

"It's over!" The assassin took aim at the blonde.

"Like hell it is!" Naruto flickered out of sight, appearing behind the assassin. "Your mistake is that you talk too much!" He roared as he conjured an unstable sphere of Damus energy, "Akuma Rasengan…" Naruto slammed the spirally orb into the assassin's mechanical back, sparks flying where the alien alloy met his attack, "Hakai!" He roared as the attack erupted into a powerful energy blast causing the assassin to cry out in pain as he hurtled across the battle scarred street.

"Combat Efficient… 0%."

"Yeah," Naruto walked over to him. "That's what I thought. Ready to tell me where the hell Mikado is? Is she on that ship?"

"Your mistake..." The robotic rat wheezed out.

"What do you…" Naruto staggered forward as he felt a stinging pain in his neck. He pulled a syringe from it and frowned.

"Is that you thought I was alone."

"Son of a…" Naruto fell to his knees; his vision blurring as he hit the floor and his aura fading away.

"The boss wants this one alive." A voice remarked from behind Naruto and the last thing Naruto felt was a sharp blow to the back of his neck and everything went black.

* * *

_Extra Info _

**Attack Name:** Akuma no Hageshi Goon  
**Power Level:** 300  
**Alignment: **Damus Only – Extremely Advanced Energy Manipulation  
**Translation:** Devil Clone  
**Description  
**Naruto gathers the volatile Damus energy and compresses it to the same degree as Shoten X2, making it incredibly unstable and explosive. Essentially allows Naruto to create a heavy artillery shell style of attack. As the unstable orb does not follow a direct path (I.e. it sways and moves considerably slower than any of Naruto's other attacks) it is only really effective against large targets.


	22. Chapter 22: How to Save a Life

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hey everybody! Another chapter ready for you to read. Originally Mikado's arc was going to be one large chapter but decided to split it into two. This chapter is more about Mikoto's backstory and the next one will end Mikado's arc... and maybe another lemon, who knows?

Oh and if you like Hyperdimension Neptunia feel free to hit up my Beta Shinnagami who has a new story coming out soon if it is not already. Written by yours truly but all the ideas etc are all Shinnagami's so all credit goes to him.

Disclaimer: I do not own To Love Ruto.

* * *

Chapter 23: How to Save a Life

Naruto blinked groggily and rolled out of bed with a tired yawn, cursing the early morning sun light that had awoken him. Glancing at his alarm clock he saw the time was 06:40 and decided there was no point trying to get back to sleep and so with a tired groan, he forced himself to get dressed and plod down to get his breakfast.

"You're up early," Kushina pouted, "If I'd known I'd have worn nothing but an apron and we could have had a little early morning fun."

"I do have a girlfriend you know," Naruto rolled his eyes and sat at the table.

"Maybe," Kushina crossed her arms, "But are her breasts as good as mine?"

"Well no but…"

"Does she have such a shapely figure?"

"Well maybe not as good as yours but…"

"And would she do absolutely anything for you? No matter how debased and obscene?" Kushina purred.

"Probably not," Naruto admitted.

"Then let's have an affair," Kushina declared.

"No thank you," Naruto shook his head.

"Tch," Kushina scowled. "Worth a shot I guess." She passed him over a plate with a fried egg and sausages. "Here a hearty breakfast to build your energy for your sexy affair with a certain red haired milf!"

"Thanks," Naruto happily ate the meal as Kushina complained about Naruto's reluctance to engage in some innocent skin ship with her.

"I mean we don't have to have sex," Kushina wrapped her arms around Naruto and pressed her breasts into his back. "Just some heavy petting would be fine."

"Nope."

"Light petting?"

"Nope."

"Kissing with tongues!"

"I'm going for a jog."

"No tongue?" Kushina asked hopefully.

"See you later mum," Naruto kissed her softly on the cheek.

"God damn cock tease!" Kushina threw he hands into the air. "Have fun with your jog. Keep your eyes and ears open."

"Will do," Naruto waved over his shoulder as he left the house in a good mood. Kushina had obviously been a little down after Naruto got his girlfriend but she had bounced right back and stepped up her game. Naruto had to admire his guardian's unyielding resolve when it came to having sex with him. He was quite flattered by her attention, not that he'd ever tell her. He stopped in his jog as he approached a bus shelter with a poster for some sort of film that caught his eye.

The poster showed a strange looking angel, with mismatched eyes and chain mail armour who looked almost as if she was begging, with tears in her eyes and down on her knees. A single message was emblazoned on the poster, 'Wake Up.'

"Weird," Naruto shook his head. "What kind of poster doesn't advertise the name of the film or a release date?" He chuckled as he continued on his jog.

"Uzumaki-san?"

"Oh hi there Kotegawa-san!" Naruto paused in his early morning run. "You are out early this morning."

"Yes," Yui looked embarrassed, "I just had to get out of the house, and my brother had his girlfriend over last night and… well…" She went crimson.

"Well they are in love," Naruto tilted his head. "Isn't it natural to want to get closer to someone that you love?"

"I… I guess," Yui found herself staring at the floor. "Do… Do you want company on your jog?"

"Sure," Naruto walked at a leisurely pace so Yui could keep up with him.

"I… I heard you've gotten yourself a girlfriend," Yui asked. "Is… Is it true?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I confessed and she said yes." He grinned, "Seriously there are few feelings as good as when you confess and the person accepts your feelings."

"Is… Is that so?" Yui mumbled quietly. "It must be nice to have someone interested in you."

"Is there anyone Kotegawa-san is interested in?"

"Ah!" Yui blushed. "Me… There's no one…. At least no one who is available," She mumbled under her breath.

The rest of the jog was in relative silence, Yui brooding slightly and Naruto was too happy to notice his travelling companion's mood.

"Well I should go pick up Haruna-chan," Naruto finally broke the silence, "It's nearly time for school after all."

"Ah… yes." Yui looked pained. "I will see you at school. Be careful Naruto."

"Careful?" Naruto blinked and turned to face her again only to find she had vanished. "Well that was weird. I can't remember Yui addressing me so familiarly before… yet it felt right." He shook his head and carried on walking towards Haruna's house with a mile wide smile. As he arrived she was just opening the door to greet him. "Good morning!"

"Good morning. You ready to go to school?" Naruto asked.

"I just need to grab a few things," Haruna paused, "Would you like to come in?"

"Thanks," Naruto grinned as he followed Haruna into the room.

"My… My sister stayed out last night," She looked at Naruto shyly.

"I know, I ran into Kotegawa-san when I was jogging."

"That means… we are alone." Haruna blushed crimson. "Do you… Do you want…?"

"Do I want to…?" Naruto's mouth went dry.

"K-kiss." She squeaked out.

"Kiss…" Naruto was momentarily disappointed but rallied quickly. "Of course. You are my beautiful girlfriend after all."

* * *

Naruto sat idly doodling in his class book as the teacher talked about something that wasn't very interesting.

"And if you'll turn to page 46 you'll find a brief summary of the roles of several different ranks of people…" The teacher droned.

"What a bore," Naruto sighed.

"Uzumaki-kun," Yui glanced over her shoulder at him. "Please pay attention to the lecture."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto idly flipped to the page that the teacher had mentioned.

'_The Rakuen Parasite is a feared intergalactic nuisance. Often used by Criminals as the parasite slowly subverts the will of its host, until it becomes a mindless slave. Hosts are often unaware of the parasitic infestation as it messes with their mind and gives them a pleasant dream that they are unwilling to leave. The worst thing about the parasite is once it is routed in the brain of the target it has a psychic as well as physical presence so even killing the body wouldn't remove the parasite. At this stage it must be killed in the dream as well.' _

"What?" Naruto blinked and looked at Yui only to see someone else in her seat. _'Wait a second… Yui isn't in my class!_' He looked at the text again only to find it was a boring block of text about the roles of peasants in Sengoku period conflicts, "I must be cracking up," Naruto shivered and the original words were slowly forgotten until he couldn't even remember reading anything unusual.

"Hey," Haruna's voice cut through his muddled thoughts.

"Oh hey," Naruto smiled weakly.

"Are you alright?" She looked worried. "Do you need to visit the nurse?"

"That… That would actually be a good idea." Naruto smiled weakly.

The two left the class, the teacher dismissing them without a second glance.

"So…" Haruna looked at the floor. "I… I was just thinking…"

"Yeah?" Naruto turned to face his girlfriend.

"Well…" Haruna was practically crimson at this point, "My sister is going out with Kotegawa-kun again tonight and I was wondering…" She looked at him. "If you'd like…" She looked away again her face blushing so bad she was glowing, "If you'd like to come over tonight…"

"I… Er…" Naruto blushed and looked away. "I mean I'd love to."

"Great!" Haruna shot him a smile that made him feel light headed.

"Heh." Naruto scratched his chin and the pair walked down the hallway to the nurse's office in comfortable silence. "I guess I should go in."

"Do you want me to stay?" Haruna asked.

"Ah," Naruto smiled, "No it's okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay," Haruna looked around then pecked him softly on the cheek before running off.

"Hehehe," Naruto touched the spot where she had kissed him and walked into the nurse's office grinning like an idiot.

"Oh hello there?" Mikado looked up from her desk. "And what can I do for you?"

"I've been… Well it's kind of hard to explain."

"Oh?" Mikado looked at him. "I've done all I can… The parasite is dead but its mental imprint remains. Please Naruto… you have to wake up." Her voice sounded tired and upset.

"Eh?"

"I said you look fine," Mikado looked at him with an odd smile. "Are you feeling light headed at all?"

"No… Well I guess a little."

"Let me take a closer look," Mikado smiled. "If you can hear me… It will hide itself in your dream waiting for a chance to strike. It will wait until you are at your most exposed. The only way to wake up is to kill it but it will be hidden." The sad and tired voice whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto blinked.

"Well if you are fully dressed I can't check you completely," Mikado winked.

"I… Sorry?"

"I asked you to undress," Mikado looked genuinely concerned.

"Oh yeah," Naruto laughed weakly. "It's nothing." He shook his head. "I'm just hearing things. I think I'm just a little tired."

"You want to sleep in here?" Mikado pointed to a bed. "It might be a tight squeeze for two so I'll have to get real close."

"S-sensei!" Naruto stepped back.

"That's more like it," Mikado nodded. "You're fine."

"Right," Naruto shook his head to leave.

"Please… wake up…"

"What?" Naruto turned around.

"I said I'll see you around," Mikado chuckled. "I think you need a hearing test or something."

"Yeah…" Naruto walked away and after a few moments had completely forgotten what it was that was unnerving him.

* * *

"Here we go," Naruto rolled up his sleeves.

"You don't have to do this," Haruna looked embarrassed.

"You said you wanted that toy," Naruto pointed to a stuffed dog toy inside the arcade machine. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get you the present you wanted to symbolise our first date!"

"W-well if you must," Haruna looked at the floor twiddling her fingers in the cutest way.

"It's my duty as a man!" Naruto posed dramatically earning a soft giggle from Haruna. "Alright let's do this," He reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. "Right… Back a bit more…" He watched the crane move in the machine. "That's about right… now to the right… Yes there!" Naruto watched as the crane lowered itself and narrowly missed the dog toy. "Ah missed!"

"But you won something," Haruna pointed out.

"Huh, so I did." Naruto collected his prize. "Strange… Looks kind of like Etna from Disgaea… Though I don't get what's with the whole barbed wire motif. There's a message on the base as well… This is not Real… it's a dream?"

"Thanks," Haruna took the toy before Naruto could read more. "It's a lovely present," She put the toy in her handbag.

"Well if you're sure," Naruto glared at the dog toy. "I have a little more change. I can have another attempt."

"Its fine," Haruna wrapped her arms around his and the two continued walking through the arcade.

"Are you hungry?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, now that you mention it," Haruna nodded.

"Let's go grab something to eat before we go back to your place…" Naruto blushed.

"Ah… yes…" Haruna bowed her head. "But first I need to…" She glanced at the toilet sign.

"Oh right," Naruto smiled. "I'll wait here."

"Great," Haruna kissed him quickly before running towards the bathroom.

"Huh," Risa stepped out from behind a dance machine. "Looks like I was wrong."

"Risa?"

"The one and only!" Risa smirked. "I thought you were totally going to blow this date but you're not doing so badly."

"Er… Thanks?" Naruto blinked.

"But isn't it moving kind of fast?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well she's inviting you over to her place right? This is only your first date and we both know Haruna is as shy as they come."

"I've been to her house before."

"But the two of you alone?" Risa whistled. "Sounds like cherry popping time."

"I… We…" Naruto blushed. "We're not going to… well if she wanted to that would change things I guess but…" Naruto looked away from Risa's knowing grin. "Strange…" Naruto walked over to a dance machine that caught his attention. "She… She looks really familiar."

"Huh?" Risa looked at the pink haired avatar on the dancing game. She was wearing what looked like a strange white and black cosplay and had a tail and a cheeky smile. "You played this game before? What song is it that's playing? 'Remember'. Oh I love that song but the best song by that band is definately 'The Dream has to End' it's such a sad song. Want to play a game whilst you wait for Haruna?"

"I shouldn't…" Naruto reached forward and touched the machine giving out a cry of alarm as the machine shocked him.

"You alright?"

"I'm… I'm fine." Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"I'm back," Haruna smiled.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "Oh right." He rubbed his hand. "So…"

"Let's go get something to eat." Haruna smiled.

"Okay, I'll see you…" He blinked. "Huh."

"What is it?"

"I could have sworn Risa was just here. I mean… I thought I talked to her…" He glanced and found the dance game had vanished as well. "What… What is going on here?"

"Are you alright?" Haruna looked concerned. "Maybe we should just go back to mine and order take out."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "That might be better."

The two travelled to her house in relative silence, Haruna hugging Naruto's arm whilst he was deep in thought.

"Welcome to my humble home," Haruna wandered towards the bathroom, "Please make yourself at home whilst I go freshen up."

"Yeah," Naruto sat down and put his head in his hands. After several moments Haruna re-emerged, wearing nothing. "Sarenji-chan!"

"I… I want to become one with you." She whispered and walked towards him.

"I wonder…" Naruto chuckled mirthlessly. "Is this what it would have been like if you'd have said yes?"

"Eh?"

"Well not you obviously," Naruto sighed, "You… You're not really here are you?"

"I don't know what you mean," Haruna looked worried. "If you don't feel well…"

"I feel fine, better than I have for a bit at any rate." Naruto stood up, "You know… I'm not even angry at you."

"Eh?"

"I'm angry at myself. Are my feelings so weak that I can forget someone so important just for a chance of being with Sarenji-chan?"

"I don't understand…"

"I forgot about Lala, about Momo and Nana…" Naruto stared at the ceiling. "I even saw Yui-chan and had no recollection of our date and time spent together. Why?" He looked at Haruna, "If what I remember is correct the parasite will show me my heart's deepest desire. Is this what I really want? Am I just leading the girls along?"

"What are you talking about?" Haruna blinked. "I… I am willing to give you everything you ever wanted."

"Sorry but I'm not interested." Naruto closed his eyes. "If this is my heart's desire… No… I know it isn't." His eyes shot open. "I love Lala, Momo, Nana, Yui-chan, Kushina, Risa-chan and… well…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "You get the idea."

"That's not…" She frowned. "You cannot resist."

"Huh?"

"I refuse. Your body will be mine!" The naked Haruna lunged at him but he easily caught her.

"You… You're the parasite?" Naruto pushed her back. "I… I have to kill you?!" Naruto grit his teeth. _'However is responsible for all this will pay!' _

"You cannot kill me." Haruna smiled. "You care too much about me to bring yourself to kill me."

"**Sorry sweet cheeks. But I don't have that problem." **

"Who?" Haruna looked horrified as a black claw was thrust through her heart. "What… Who…" She whispered as she dissolved.

"Who are you?" Naruto took up a fighting stance.

"**Don't be like that dad." **A female stepped from the shadows, swaying her hips seductively. She was wearing what looked like a very expensive dress that revealed her smooth stomach and belly button, with a single strap that covered her nipples. Her long blonde hair fell to her waist and her deep blue eyes seemed to glimmer with malice. She wore long black gloves that were cruelly shaped, giving the impression of claws rather than fingers. "**After all the little hints I sent your way to try and wake you up. I even helped Mikado's voice reach you. Aren't I such a loving daughter?" **

"Daughter?" Naruto stepped backwards.

"**You and Mama Asmodea made me." **She sashayed up to Naruto. "**It's my job to protect you dad and as much as I'd love to talk to you, there are people you need to save right?'**

"Mikado," Naruto clenched his fists.

"**Time to wake up daddy!" **The girl clicked her fingers and suddenly Naruto found himself in a strange white area, with floating pictures of various anime and a large whiteboard that had 'Saving Naruto' written on it.

"**Okay how about this?" **Asmodea stroked her chin. **"We put something in the dream that would be so far out of place he can't help but realise he is dreaming." **

"The parasite will sense our meddling and simply stop Naruto from seeing whatever we do…" Raphael sighed sadly.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"**Naruto?" **Asmodea blinked, **"Huh, should have figured that you'd be able to deal with that pesky parasite. So what brings you here?" **

"I was saved by someone claiming to be my daughter."

"Daughter?" Raphael blinked.

"More precisely our daughter," He looked at Asmodea who was trying (and failing) to look innocent. "What do you know?"

"**Well… you see," **Asmodea cleared her throat, "**My name… which is to say my title, is the great corrupter no?" **

"And?"

"**Now that is because of my power… not only do I like to corrupt people's dreams I also kind of corrupt people just by being near them. My power just manipulates people whether I want it to or not. At least that has been the case in every other host I have ever had except you. For some reason and I'm looking at Otaku-chan over there when I say this, my power couldn't get a hold on you. It couldn't twist your hopes and dreams… But it could feed on your hate, your fear and your anger. I'm guessing she was a slutty girl or something? She is a corruption of your soul, the complete opposite of you. At least she would be if she could get at your positive emotions. Right now she only has access to your negative emotions as those are the ones you reject from yourself. All your love and hope and the other emotions that you cherish are protected from her." **

"Why did she save me?"

"**Because like I said, she is an incomplete corruption. If your personality is destroyed before she gains access to your positive emotions she will die." **

"So she is on my side?"

"**Not exactly." **Asmodea fidgeted. **"You see… my power is still trying to corrupt you and the only way it can do that is by removing you as the dominant psyche and installing a new personality. If she gets access to your positive emotions she will become a true personality rather than just a fragment and could actually take over your body." **

"All this because you were sealed inside me?"

"**Well… pretty much." **Asmodea admitted. **"When you call upon my power you are basically feeding her but I guess you have a strong will so it will be fine… probably." **

"I don't suppose you have any side effects I should know about." He turned to Raphael.

"Well… Now that you mention it you may have a strange craving to go and buy this cute model of Shiro from No Game No Life!" Raphael held up a small magazine. "It is a steal at only $69.99! It would be a crime not to!"

"Why would you want me to buy that?"

"Because it is cute?" Raphael sighed. "And I can't exactly order it over your head internet. I don't have any credit cards."

"Whatever," Naruto shook his head. "I'm waking up now. Try not to make any more evil personalities whilst I'm awake."

"**I make no such promise." **Asmodea declared as Naruto faded from the world of his mind.

* * *

"Hot damn!" Momo whistled as Yui staggered around her bedroom. "I'm not even into girls and I'd be willing to have some fun with you. Naruto won't know what hit him!"

"S-shameless!" Yui tried to cover herself. She was wearing the maid's outfit that Tsunade had given her back when she and Naruto had worked at the Maid café only Momo had made some adjustments and the skirt was considerably shorter and the top stopped just beneath her breasts. "S-shouldn't we be helping Naruto?"

"Naruto will be fine." Lala declared. "He is super strong! Plus he has Yami looking out for him and I gave her explicit instructions to call us if she needed help or if Naruto was in any sort of trouble."

"You're not into girls?" Risa asked. "I didn't get the vibe when you I saw you that time."

"That time?" Lala blinked.

"Oh yeah," Momo laughed. "I was just hoping I could convince you into letting us out of the cell is all."

"You got arrested?" Lala looked at them sternly. "You shouldn't cause Naruto trouble like that!"

"Hey!" Momo stepped back, "We were trying to protect your date with Naruto."

"Oh… That's fine then." Her bubbly smile returned.

"At least that was the original plan," Nana mumbled. "But then those two idiots got arrested for fighting in the streets."

"And then that idiot got arrested for summoning a boar to attack a security guard." Momo reminded her.

"S-shut up!" Nana looked away embarrassed. "At least I got arrested trying to get into the aquarium to help Ane-ue's date! You and Kushina just started fighting!"

"It's called staying in character," Momo sighed. "A skill you are going to need if you are going to play the neko maid role."

"Neko maid?"

"Duh," Momo sighed. "Naruto quite clearly has a bit of a fetish for you wearing cat ears etc. Add a maid's uniform and bang! You've got him in your bed making you cry out in ecstasy to every god you know."

"And even some you don't," Risa added with a fond smile. "Ah such an amazing honeymoon that was."

"You didn't have a honeymoon!" Lala declared, "Because you aren't properly married!"

"Tell that to the Government," Risa smiled. "I am officially Risa Momioka-Namikaze!"

"Namikaze?" Lala frowned. "But Naruto's name is Uzumaki."

"His real name is Namikaze," Risa waved a hand dismissively. "He recently took on that name again in order to regain access to the funds of his family business so he could afford any expenses from your baby."

"Family business?" Lala looked worried. "I didn't know Naruto had one… And I call myself his empress… "

"You can always give the title up to me," Risa smiled.

"Denied!" Lala stuck her tongue out. "I'll just have to try harder to learn everything about Naruto!"

"Well if you must know," Kushina cleared out one of her ears with her little finger, "The Namikaze family have run Konoha industries for something approaching a hundred years."

"Wait…" Yui blinked. "Isn't Konoha industries one of the largest companies in the world? They have so much influence that you could basically call Naruto a real modern day prince."

"Even Yui didn't know that?" Risa sighed dramatically. "It appears only I truly understand Naruto."

"Oh?" Momo blinked, "Then do you know the first time he masturbated?"

"Eh?" Risa blinked. "No I don't."

"Oh she doesn't," Momo smirked.

"To think she doesn't even know that," Kushina agreed.

"Maybe Naruto doesn't trust her as much as us," Lala nodded sagely.

"Like hell he told you that!" Risa crossed her arms.

"Well I witnessed it," Kushina said proudly.

"He told me," Lala beamed.

"And Onee-sama told me." Momo added.

"I could have known," Nana scowled. "But I have no interest in anything so… so perverted with that filthy beast! It's not as if I have any special feelings for him or something."

"That's Tsundere for 'I love him lots and want to make plenty of babies with him.'" Momo smirked.

"Nee-chan!" chased after Momo who ran away laughing.

"But if Naruto is in charge of a big company and now Risa's family who were also fairly powerful have merged…" Lala eye's widened. "Is Naruto the emperor of Earth?"

"He certainly rules the bedroom, if you know what I mean," Risa sighed happily.

"G-get you mind out of the gutter!" Yui squeaked.

"Back to the matter at hand," Kushina wandered over to the embarrassed Yui. "If you can't show off a little skin to your harem sisters…"

"Naruto doesn't have a harem!" Yui automatically responded.

"Oh he's trained her to say that on reflex like he does!" Momo laughed.

"Leave her alone," Kushina put an arm around Yui's shoulders. "Sure she's a little prude right now but give her one night of steamy sex with Naruto and she'll be fine."

"Well I suppose a night of Naruto Nookie will make her more confident in herself," Momo agreed.

"I, I'm not going to sleep with him just like that!" Yui declared, her face going so red you could turn off the lights and shut the curtains and you would still be able to see quite clearly. "T-that will happen later… I mean… If it happens… I don't know if Naruto would like to…" Yui mumbled softly.

"He most definitely does!" Lala nodded eagerly. "But he is waiting for you to make the first move! It was the same with me!"

"He is?" Yui bit her lip shyly. "But… Well… In our relationship he confessed to me whereas in yours… you've pretty much instigated every major development in your relationship."

"Hey she has a point," Risa stroked her chin. "You may have been his first girlfriend but when you think about it Yui was the first he actually chose for himself so doesn't that make her the Empress of the group?"

"I… But…" Lala flailed her arms with tears in her eyes.

"I wouldn't want to take that title from you," Yui reassured the panicking princess.

"Thank you Yui!" The ecstatic Lala hugged Yui.

"L-Lala!" Yui squeaked in surprise at the close contact.

"Princess," Yami entered the room and paused as she took in Yui's appearance and Lala clinging on to her.

"W-what?" Yui tried to cover herself and pry Lala from her.

"Ecchi," Yami remarked bluntly causing Yui to flinch. "I need my ship but couldn't find it."

"I had it impounded." Lala smiled. "So you couldn't run away from where you really wanted to be deep down!"

"That…" Yami closed her eyes. "I need it."

"Why?"

"To save Naruto."

"But…" Lala looked confused. "Naruto _can't _lose. He's too strong."

"When I arrived at the scene of the battle I managed to extract information from a bystander. Apparently Naruto was knocked out and captured. I need my ship."

"No…" Lala clenched her fists. "Sorry Yui-chan," She smiled at Yui, "We will have to put this fashion show on hold. Naruto needs my help!"

"I'm… I'm going too!" Yui declared.

"But you're only human," Momo shook her head. "If Naruto is struggling to win what could you actually do?"

"I could…" Yui paused before looking down. "I don't want him to have to face trouble alone. I… I want him to know that I support him."

"Okay then," Lala smiled softly. "You can come with us."

"I hope you aren't leaving the first bride behind," Risa declared.

"It didn't count!" Lala stuck her tongue out.

"So… Do you know where Naruto went?" Kushina asked Yami.

"Negative. My ship has tracking equipment however."

"Well… There is kind of a problem," Lala laughed weakly. "Your ship is currently five star systems away. But don't worry! We have a spaceship of our own!" She led the group towards a rickety old Dojo.

"Hey," Kushina crossed her arms, "Isn't this where Naruto used to go train? The Gama dojo or something?"

"Oh Naruto used to go here?" Lala beamed, "What a coincidence!" She knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Bunta opened it and peered at them. "Oh Princess, it's you."

"Wait a second," Kushina interrupted. "You know she is an alien princess?"

"Yeah," Bunta narrowed his eyes, "You look familiar… oh right." He nodded and adjusted the pipe in his mouth, "You're Naruto's mother right?"

"I'm his devoted love slave."

"Huh," Bunta raised an eyebrow but said no more. "And who are you his maid?" He turned to Yui, "Actually you are probably another love slave looking at that outfit." He ignored Yui's spluttered denials, "What do you want princess?"

"I need Naruto's ship! He's been captured!"

"Ah," Bunta scowled. "I figure it was the punks who blew up a small chunk of Downtown with that crappy little frigate."

"That's right!" Lala nodded.

"Well I've got some good news and bad news for you," Bunta lead them through the wooden Dojo and into the back, where there was a large futuristic looking elevator that he guided them in. With a sudden lurch the elevator started to descend into the bowels of the Earth. "We know who's got him and a good idea to why. There is a black market Clan that deals in all sorts of unsavoury things like slaves and illegal drugs. They are the Orochi and we've succesfully managed to mind wipe all the people involved and repaired all the damage. It will be added to your tab." Bunta adjusted his pipe.

"Orochi?" Yui glanced out of the elevator window and saw they were in a large underground cavern that was full of various crates and thousands of people on floating bikes and trucks travelling around; picking up crates and dropping them off.

"Yeah," Bunta nodded. "Rumour has it that they used to have this super doctor right? They used her to make all sorts of horrible things. Parasites that eat your brain and leave you a mindless servant, drugs that you get addicted to just by looking at them unless you receive a special injection, weapons that can wipe out entire planets yet leave all the structures intact for a new population to inhabit… some real horrible stuff. Word was this doctor's last project was to work alongside some sort of super genius to create a set of ultimate assassins, shape-shifting creations that could not be stopped nor destroyed." Bunta looked at Yami. "You've got one of them here."

"Me?" Yami tilted her head.

"Yeah," Bunta nodded. "Although to be fair… I'm guessing you weren't exactly what the client ordered as the next thing I heard is that this doctor has gone missing and the creations were scattered to the four corners of the galaxy. The super genius apparently vanished as well. I never got a picture of the doctor but the time they went missing was roughly a couple of months before Mikado wound up on this humble little ball of dirt and opened a black alley clinic for aliens before eventually getting a job as a school nurse." Bunta puffed on his pipe sagely.

"Wait a second," Risa cut in. "You're saying that Nurse Mikado is some sort of evil genius who creates weapons?"

"I'm saying she might have been like that at one time." Bunta corrected her. "Of course I can't prove it was her and I might be wrong but the fact that Manda, the current head of the Orochi clan was willing to use a frigate to abduct her does make me think that I'm right."

"But…" Yui shook her head, "She seemed a nice person…"

"Just because she used to do that doesn't mean she is a bad person!" Lala stomped a foot.

"Eh?"

"I used to make all sorts of horrible inventions when I was young," Lala looked downcast. "I was so sad and wanted others to feel the same so I wouldn't be alone. But then I met Naruto and I turned my life around!" She clenched her fists. "Maybe the super genius turned Mikado-sensei around!"

"It's possible," Bunta shrugged. "For all we know Mikado might have been tricked into making the weapons or had someone close to her held hostage. That's if she is even the person responsible. She might just have been taken because they think she can continue the mysterious doctor's work and living on Earth made her easier to kidnap." The elevator came to a stop and Bunta lead them into some sort of hanger where various space ships were being loaded with the cargo.

"How big is this place?" Risa mumbled. "We seemed to travel a fair bit down and I can't actually see the roof!"

"That's because we are only partially in reality," Lala explained. "It's the same technology that I use to make Naruto's house much bigger on the inside."

"What do you do here?" Yui asked.

"The Gama clan is a black market clan, but unlike the Orochi clan we deal in legal luxuries and ancient artefacts." Bunta coughed. "We have an understanding with the Charmians who guard Earth. So long as we don't endanger the planet we are free to use it as a base. It helps that High Priestess Sephie makes use of our services."

"Mum uses your services?" Nana blinked, "But… She is the pinnacle of good behaviour!"

"We can get her Arcangus artefacts without having to waste time through the usual legal channels," Bunta explained. "And we are a real good at hiding things from the galaxy at large so we have built a research facility somewhere on Earth for the Charmians to use. But enough about business, your ship awaits," Bunta brought them to a large elevator that was rising with Kurama's old ship on it. It was looking much better than it had been, all the external damage completely repaired with a fresh coat of paint to finish off the rebuild.

"Hey you fixed it up real good!" Lala beamed. "But I asked you to paint it pink not red."

"I refuse to paint Kurama's Kyuubi pink." Bunta crossed his arms. "She hated that colour."

"And you haven't put the name on that I asked."

"The Naru-Lala Love-Love Super-Special-Spaceship is a terrible name and you she feel bad for even suggesting it," Bunta deadpanned. "It is called the Kyuubi and that is what it shall remain called."

"Muu…" Lala pouted.

"Naru-Lala?" Risa remarked. "Forgetting some people or something?"

"How much do I owe you?" Lala asked, pretending not to hear Risa's remark.

"Well I owed Kurama a favour and since Naruto's her son I guess that means that favour is inherited by him." Bunta shrugged. "Just make sure to blow up some of the Orochi clan's stuff and I'll call it even." He reached into his kimono and pulled out a tablet. "This has the co-ordinates of the last known location of the frigate that attacked."

"Okay!" Lala beamed. "Now we have a ship! To save Naruto!"

"Wait… you're taking the humans as well?" Bunta hesitated. "… Somehow I feel any future deals with the next emperor could be ruined if he learns I let his harem get themselves killed...," He turned to some of the humanoids scurrying around the hangar. "Get me some battle suits!" He turned to Risa and Yui, "By the way… these are rentals so don't get them damaged alright?"

"What's a battle suit?" Yui asked.

"Basically?" Bunta stoked his chin. "You ever seen Infinite Stratos?"

"What's that?"

"Ah," Bunta sighed. "Think of a small Mecha that's more of a suit than a giant fighting robot. It generates a shield to protect the user and offers some weapons to fight with. I'll add them to Naruto's tab."

"Naruto has a tab as well?" Lala blinked.

"Yeah. He can pay me off when he takes Gid's throne," Gid waved dismissively. "I gave him a Tenshi blade."

"A tenshi blade?" Lala's eyes widened. "Aren't those rare Arcangus artefacts?!"

"Very rare," Bunta nodded. "And very powerful."

"So let me get this straight," Risa interupted Bunta, "You are giving us hi tech battle suits because you think Naruto will pay you back when he comes emperor?"

"Pretty much," Bunta nodded.

"Fair enough." Risa chuckled. "Can I buy some clothes on his tab as well?"

"Risa!"

"Sure why not," Bunta shrugged.

"R-really..." Yui paused as she saw a rack of expensive looking wedding gowns getting pushed by."

"Come back later with Naruto and I'll hash out a deal with him," Bunta puffed on his pipe.

"I'm so glad I'm not a guy," Risa sighed as another rack of designer clothing got pushed past her. "Because I would have the biggest boner right about now."

"S-shameless!" Yui cried out.

"Okay then!" Lala clenched her fists. "Let's save our future husband!"

"And then get some really expensive dresses!" Risa declared as she followed Lala onto the ship. "Cue the awesome theme music!"

"Is it just me," Yui mumbled, "Or is Risa a bit too happy about this?"

"She's just thinking of the thank you sex she'll get from Naruto when she saves him." Momo drooled slightly. "As am I."

"How perverted!" Yui blushed. _'Although… If I was the one to save him then maybe… we could have a whole day to ourselves…' _

_Yui's Imagination _

_The waves gently lapped against the beach as she lay beside Naruto, watching the sun set. _

"_It's beautiful," Yui whispered. _

"_A very far second to your beauty," Naruto cupped her chin and leaned in, kissing her softly. _

"_I-idiot," Yui mumbled, "How can you say something so shameless?" _

"_Is it shameless to speak one's mind about one's true feelings?" He trailed kisses down her neck and reached for her bikini top. "Is it shameless to want you so much?" _

"_N-no." Yui blushed. "I guess n-not." _

"_Please… Let me see your full naked beauty." _

"_If… If you really want to…" Her bikini top was removed._

"_Such perfect breasts," Naruto smiled, "As befitting such a perfect woman." _

"_D-don't stare," Yui tried to cover herself but was stopped by Naruto. _

"_You have a wonderful body," Naruto whispered. "You don't have to be ashamed of it. Let me feel your body against mine…" _

"_N-Naruto..." Yui gasped as he started to play with her breasts with his mouth and one of his hands as the other made its way slowly down towards…_

_End Imagination _

"Aargh!" Yui slapped herself, steam coming off of her head. "So shameless!" She muttered as she raced onto the ship. _'Although… If I save him first… maybe…'_

* * *

"Where the hell am I?" Naruto remarked as he stared out of a window into the depths of space before returning his attention to the room in which he had awoken. There was a smooth white bed floating in the centre of the room with a hovering tray holding several bloody instruments with strange and cruel blades on the end. Naruto tried not to think too hard about what had been done to him whilst he was out cold.

The only other things of interest in the room were several tablets that were cast to one side and a giant white door that Naruto tried and failed to open, the several scorch marks testament to the doors resilience to his energy attacks and the several dents showing that even his physical strength was not enough. There was also an unlocked escape pod loaded with supplies for a long journey but escape was not an option for Naruto until he found Mikado.

"Well maybe some light reading will reveal a solution," Naruto shrugged and picked up one of the tablets. Most of the writing had words that meant nothing to Naruto but from what he was able to gather from the parts he did understand is that the person who wrote this was working on some sort of powerful weapon that could kill an entire planet but would die itself quickly, allowing rapid recolonising. "Wait a second… that can't be right." Naruto frowned as he found the bottom of the document where the author's name was written. "Ryouko Mikado?!"

He tossed the tablet to one side and picked up another. "The Rakuen Parasite – Synthesis and Uses – Dr Ryouko Mikado." Naruto glanced at the last document. "Theoretical Applications of the 'Darkness of Judgement' Core and the possibility of Bio-Weapon creation. – Ryouko Mikado." He frowned. "Well that's interesting."

"_**What is?" **_

'_Huh? Oh hi Asmodea. I was just thinking, what language do aliens speak?" _

"_**Er… depends on where they are from.'**_

'_So is it normal for all of these to be written in Japanese so that I can decipher them?" _

'_**No… Now that you mention it that is kind of odd.' **_

'_So someone deliberately translated these articles and left them here for me to find.' _

'_**Looks that way.' **_

'_And since we know that the evil guy who put us here had a parasite but inside me to kill me that means that he wasn't expecting me to need any light reading. Judging from what I heard whilst in that dream Mikado was operating on me to save me. Which means it is fairly safe to assume she left these for me to find.' _

'_**That's actually impressive deduction.' **_Asmodea remarked_**. 'But are you sure you didn't get that from the note next to the tablets saying 'Do not try and save me. Please escape- Mikado.''**_

'_There is a slight possibility that the note was a major clue." _Naruto admitted. '_So she wants me to leave her behind because of her past sins eh?' _

'_**Looks like it. So we getting the hell out of here?' **_

'_You can't do that! She needs your loving!' _

'…_I'm not going to leave her here. She's one of my precious people and until I hear the story from her lips I'm not going anywhere!' _Naruto clenched his fists. "I'm so pissed off right now!" He started to call upon his Damus Aura.

'_**Naruto! Remember what I said about your corruption. The more you use the Damus Aura the more of your negative emotions will seep into your central being, allowing your corruption to access more and more of your positive emotions.' **_

"Fine damn it. I am Naruto Uzumaki and mine is the crest of Raphael!" Naruto released his aura and called upon the Arcangus one, only to find it was nowhere near as strong as usual. _'Raphael? What the hell?'_

'_We aren't on Earth.' _Raphael explained. _'My aura draws the power from the natural energy around you and since you haven't stored any energy inside yourself you cannot call upon the full power of my aura.' _

'_When exactly were you planning to tell me that?!'_

'_Uh… Right after I finished my Bleach marathon.'_

'…_Great…' _Naruto face palmed.

'_**So I guess we just try and escape and…' **_

'_No… If I end up having to fight the corruption so be it.' _Naruto re-ignited the red aura. _'But I will __**never**__ leave one of my precious people behind.' _

"Shoten!" Naruto roared, feeling the pressure of his condensed aura. "Let's see just how good this door is. Akuma Rasengan!" The erratic red sphere grinded away at the door, "Hakai!" The unstable orb detonated in a blinding red beam that caused the battered door to squeal protest as it tried to absorb the energy, only to finally be overcome and blast backwards, revealing a long white corridor that was suspiciously free of any sort of guard.

"Damn," Naruto sighed. "I was kind of looking forward to venting my frustration." He started to run down the corridor until he found himself in a large dome of a room. The ceiling was so high up that Naruto could have sworn he could see clouds and the other side of the room was at least half a mile away.

"So… You've escaped!" A familiar cybernetic voice declared.

"…Is that you were-rat?"

"DAMUS-DAMN YOUR STUPID, UGLY FACE! I AM NOT A FRIGGING WERE-RAT! I AM OBUTSU THE PLAGUE LORD!"

"Are you sure? Because if I was a Were-rat looking to infect someone that is exactly what I would say."

"I am going to enjoy killing you!"

"Well why don't you come out and try!" Naruto challenged.

"I'm glad you suggested that!" There was a whistling noise as a giant robot crashed into the centre of the room. It was a least twenty foot tall with a strange rat-like design. Its left arm ending in a huge rail gun and the right in an equally oversized Gatling gun. A rack of missiles rested on each of the shoulders and a rotating turret was underneath the jutting chin of the giant humanoid machine. "This is my final upgrade and this is your last sight! Gaze upon me and know that your death is at hand!"

"Oh… Well that's a thing apparently." Naruto blinked. "Huh."

"Huh?!" The Rat-assassin shrieked. "I am Death! I am glorious destruction! I am your end and your only reaction is 'Huh?!'"

"Meh," Naruto shrugged. "I've fought entire legions of Gundam Mechs in the simulation (admittedly with limited success) so you're not exactly worrying me."

"You will soon sing another tune!" The minigun arm started to spin, emitting a whirring noise that made Naruto feel dizzy.

"What the hell?" Naruto fell to one knee.

"Do you know there are certain noises that can cause a human to lose all sense of balance?"

"So the noise is messing up my balance huh?" Naruto grinned. "Guess I'll just have to cancel out your crappy noise!" _'Raphael! Play an anime theme or something on my head internet as loud as you can!' _

'_Will do!'_Raphael smiled. '_Got it! One Battle theme looped for an hour coming right up! Jousou Speed Battle Play!' _

Naruto grinned as he felt his sense of balance return. "Heh… I actually feel pretty fired up! Let's do this."

"Wait… How are you resisting?" Obutsu asked.

"The voices in my head are singing to me!" Naruto roared as he charged towards the giant Mech.

"That… That makes no sense?! The voices in your head aren't making any actual sound waves! They can't cancel out my Symphony of Helplessness!"

"Who cares what makes sense or not?" Naruto grinned as the Minigun opened fire on him, the stream of bullets the same size as him tearing chunks out of the smooth white floor as Naruto effortlessly dodged the barrage. "If it gets in the way of me saving my precious people the laws of physics can go get screwed!"

"W-what?!" Ubuntu cried out in alarm. "Why can't I hit you?! Dodge this you bastard!" The shoulder mounted missiles launched a countless volley of homing missiles at Naruto.

"Too easy!" Naruto grinned. "Akuma Danmaku!" He roared sending a barrage of energy blasts at the missiles, destroying a good few.

"It's pointless to resist!" Ubuntu sneered. "What can one human do?"

"Tch," Naruto frowned as the missiles formed as wall of death charging towards him. "No openings. Oh well." He grinned. "If you can't go around them…" His aura flared up. "GO THROUGH 'EM! AKUMA JUDAN!" His aura hardened as he propelled himself at the missiles.

"Muahahaha!" Obutsu synthesised voice laughed mockingly. "So eager to die?!"

"Like hell I'll die to some weak ass mid boss like you!" Naruto braced himself as the missiles hit him, forming a series of explosions that went on for several minutes.

"Looks like I'll have to tell the boss his latest toy wasn't worth the effort of… WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Toh!" Naruto rocketed out of the smoke left by the explosions and continued towards Obutsu

"That's… That's IMPOSSIBLE!" Ubuntu shrieked. "Are you even human?!"

"Heh," Naruto landed in front of the giant robot. "Let's do this shall we?"

"Eat High velocity titan rounds you freak of nature!" The railgun hummed gently before launching a superfast shell at Naruto.

"Kusanagi!" Naruto roared, forming a blade of crimson energy and cleaning slicing the projectile in half, causing the two halves to score a crater either side of him.

"How… How can your reflexes be this fast?!" Obutsu turned the minigun on him again, launching another barrage of human sized rounds at him.

"My turn now!" Naruto dodged between the rounds, gathering a ball of crimson energy.

"This… THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!"

"The only thing that is impossible is me giving birth," Naruto grinned as he compressed the small sphere of energy in his hands as far down as he could. "Everything else is just another thing I have yet to attempt! Akuma no Hageshi Goon!" He roared as he launched the unstable compressed orb of energy at the giant machine.

"An attack that slow will never hit me!" Obutsu mocked as the titan started to evade the attack.

"It doesn't have to!" Naruto held his palm out towards the small sphere. "Akuma Yari!" A lance of crimson energy struck the sphere causing it to detonate with the force of a small bomb, sending debris flying around the room and the giant robot skidding backwards, its armour panelling badly damaged its rail gun and minigun completely destroyed. "And with those nuisances gone…" He charged towards the robot. "Let's see just how long you can last!"

"D-don't think me beaten just yet!" The robot's chin laser started launching energy blasts at Naruto, the blasts charring the white floor where there struck it. "I still have one ace left up my sleeve!"

"Oh and what's that?" Naruto batted a laser blast back at the turret using his Kusanagi attack.

"Tch…" The ship might not survive this but…" A huge cannon materialised on the shoulder of the robot. "I don't care! Armstrong Cannon FIRE!"

A super bright blast of energy launched past Naruto gouging a hole in the floor that went all the way to the outside.

"C-crap!" Naruto started to skid towards the opening into space.

"Deploy anchors!" The gigantic robot embedded itself in the floor as Naruto clung on the edge of the hole to space. "Even you would struggle to survive the vacuum in space and even if you could…" The giant cannon pointed at Naruto a faint glow at the base of the barrel showed it was already charging its next attack. "You won't survive my next attack!"

"Oh really?" Naruto grinned as he clung to the edge of the hole into space. "You've got to hit me first!"

"You can't dodge! You can barely hang on as it is!"

"You're right there." Naruto let go and smirked as the cannon launched another salvo of energy directly at him. "But then again… I don't need to hang on to avoid falling into space! Kawarimi!"

"W-what?" Obutsu cried out in alarm as Naruto appeared in the place of one of the weapons he had discarded.

"Akuma Juden!" Naruto rocketed towards the anchored robot. "Well this looks like it will do a fine job of blocking that hole you made!"

"N-no!"

"Looks like you can't move without releasing these anchors and if you release these anchors you will get dragged into space." Naruto remarked.

"How… How are you standing? Why are you not getting dragged into space?"

"If you must know." Naruto smirked. "I'm using my aura to grip the floor. Didn't know I could do that until just now. Cool huh?"

"I… I refuse to be defeated by an idiot like you!" Obutsu roared. "If… If I die I am taking you down with me! Activate self-destruct mechanism!"

"Kusanagi!" Naruto started to hack at the robots anchors. "Damn it… This is taking too long. Wait a second. Maybe if I do this… Shindo Kusanagi (A/N: Vibrating Kusanagi)!" The blade started to vibrate, cutting through there metallic anchors. "Hahaha! I'm a genius!" The metal anchor gave way and the robot lurched to one side.

"D-don't be so cocky!" Obutsu sneered. "Emergency Eject!" Obutsu launched himself from the giant robot as the next anchor gave way and the giant robot skidded towards the hole, plugging it shut.

"Still wanna brawl," Naruto cracked his knuckled.

"Obutsu… you have failed the boss for the last time." A dark voice called from nowhere.

"Who's there?!" Naruto span around, trying to spot the speaker amongst the ruined room.

"N-no I can still win this… I can…" There was a sudden whooshing noise and Obutsu fell into two neat halves.

"What the actual hell?" Naruto growled. "You killed your own ally?"

"He is not my ally." There was a flicker of movement and a pale man wearing baggy lilac trousers appeared in front of him. "I am an honoured servant of Lord Orochimaru."

"Is that name supposed to mean something to me?" Naruto took up a fighting pose.

"Probably not," The pale youth grunted and two large blades appeared from his palms. "It matters little. Soon you will be dead."

"Like hell I will. Akuma Danmaku!" Naruto launched a blitz of attacks at the pale swordsman who seemed to move with an unearthly grace, never once looking like he was in any danger of being hit.

"One as crude as you cannot hope to harm me," He vanished in a flicker of light, appearing directly behind Naruto.

"Damn it!" Naruto leapt forward but was still caught by the quick slash for the assassin. He staggered forwards and span around only to have to leap back to avoid a furious flurry of sword blows that left several shallow cuts across the front of his body. "Damn that stings… It's like a thousand paper cuts or something. Akuma Yari!" Naruto launched a blast of energy but his agile opponent simply leapt over the attack. "Hah! Now that you're in the air you can't dodge! Akuma Yari!" He smirked as the attack found its target and caused a small explosion. "Oh crap!" Naruto leapt back as another sword slash narrowly missed separating his head from his shoulders. "Akuma Danmaku!" At such close range the vast majority of the small energy blasts were on target, although wielding his twin swords with blistering speed he was able to deflect all of Naruto's attacks.

"Hone no Dangan," The assassin mimed a gun with his hand and fired a small bone at Naruto, striking him in the shoulder and tearing straight through him.

"That stings!" Naruto growled as he felt his regeneration kick in and heal the wound. "Let's see how you like me returning the favour. "Tsuin Kusanagi! (Twin Kusanagi)" Naruto summoned two blades of his own and clashed with the swordsman, their swords little more than blurs to the average eye.

"Too slow," The assassin mocked. For every five attacks of Naruto's that he parried he was able to get a free hit on Naruto, who grit his teeth as his regeneration did its work keeping him in the fight.

'_**Kid as much as I am a big fan of masochism, I think you need to rethink this fighting him at his own game.' **_

'_Tch.' _Naruto leapt backwards then charged at the assassin, who blocked his attack.

"You telegraph your attacks." The assassin mocked.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto grinned. "Akuma Danmaku!" The two swords he was holding exploded in a barrage of small energy blasts that peppered the assassin and badly damaged his clothes although he was only slightly injured but the attack had caught him off guard and put him on the back foot. "Jigoku no Ikari!" Naruto coated his fists with condensed Damus energy that looked like flames and go past the staggered assassin's guard. "First strike!" Naruto punched the assassin will all his might, causing the swordsman to drop his swords and bend over wheezing.

"Second strike!" A rising knee struck the assassin in the face, causing him to flip over backwards. "Not so fast!" Naruto grabbed his legs and started to spin, the dazed assassin spinning around helplessly. "Time for the big finish!" Naruto leapt into the air and used all the momentum gathered to throw his attacker at the floor. "Meteor Impact!" He roared as the would-be assassin collided with the floor. "Ahaha!" Naruto smirked. "Not so cocky now are you?"

"Interesting," The assassin climbed from the crater he had formed on impact looking more or less unharmed. "You have potential."

"What? You running away?" Naruto taunted.

"I must return to my master. He asked me to assess your skills and I have. He may have use for you if you survive the self-destructing robot."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, "Crap I forgot about that!"

"We will meet again. My name is Kimimaro."

"…Naruto Uzumaki."

"I pray you are stronger when we next meet, lest I kill you." Kimimaro bowed his head slightly before disappearing in a crack of energy.

"What the hell?" Naruto scowled.

"SELF DESTRUCT IN TEN…"

"Oh crap!" Naruto started running as fast as he could away from the giant robot. "AKUMA JUDAN!" He roared, propelling himself towards the far end of the room, crashing ungracefully and rolling through an open door that slammed shut behind him.

"Well that could have gone…" Naruto was interrupted by the entire room shaking furiously. "…Better?" He brushed himself off. "Well I guess there is only one way left to go." Naruto remarked as he made his way down the hallway and found himself inside a giant hi tech lab. "Huh, nice place this." He wandered over towards a desk that had various tablets and another note from Mikado.

'I am not who you think I am. Please just escape. I have done horrible things and this is my punishment. Save yourself. You have people on Earth who love you, who would miss you if you were gone. The Orochi clan are too powerful for you to defeat and even if you did another branch of the clan would hunt you down.'

"Huh," Naruto idly glanced at the tablets. "More immoral research huh? Synthesis of Bio-toxins, Psychic enhancement and manipulation, Bio-Weapons report." He paused. "I keep hearing about these so called bio-weapons." He skimmed the tablet.

'Entry 1: Today I meet the great genius that Manda has been so adamant in securing for the bio-weapon project. I wonder what blackmail he has on her. Maybe holding some hostage or some sort of vague promise to fulfil a dream of hers. I could care less of course, all that matters is that we get the results that Manda wants. Each successful project is one more step towards freedom.'

"So Mikado was a prisoner?" Naruto idly remarked as he scrolled through the entries until another caught his attention.

'Entry 15: I never thought this day would come. Manda has managed to secure the Core of Judgment, a legendary artefact from the days when the old races still roamed the galaxy. It is said to be one half of the power of the great weapon that wiped out the old races. If we can get the prototype bio-weapons to merge to this core we could create a weapon of such power that it could single handedly decide any conflict. We could be responsible for ending the current civil war! On that note the earlier failures from the previous team of scientists were deployed to the front line. Two hundred bio-weapons dispatched and only three returned. Maybe sending them against Gid wasn't such a good idea. One of the survivors though appears to have incredible transformation abilities and is also able to merge with other weapons. Manda has dispatched her to another centre though so I guess I won't get to see what makes her tick.'

"I've seen enough horror films to know how building the ultimate living weapon turns out," Naruto sighed heavily as he flicked ahead to some of the later entries.

'Entry 103: Lunatique has insisted on calling the most promising subject 'Eve'. I would ask why but she would probably give me some sort of airheaded excuse. Eve appears to have merged completely with the core. It appears the Fabled Darkness of Judgement will once again grace the galaxy.'

'Entry 103 a- I get to name her because she's my lil' sister!' – Luna  
Entry 103 b- Damn it Luna! I told you to stop messing with my stuff!'  
Entry 103 bi- Well choose better passwords for your files! I mean DieMandaDie! Wasn't that hard to guess. Oh and are you joining Eve and I for tea tonight? It's your favourite.' – Luna  
Entry 103 bii- Fine. But I'll do the cooking. The last thing we need is Eve picking up your clumsiness and falling into ecchi positions.'  
Entry 103 biii- Okay. I'll be sure to teach Eve that Ecchi stuff is bad.' – Luna

"Huh," Naruto chuckled, "Something tells me this Lunatique would be quite fun to meet."

'Entry 134: I have made a terrible mistake. Eve is far more than a weapon. She is a living being. Lunatique appears to have bonded with the girl and the idiot genius refuses to let Manda use her as a tool. She is going to get herself killed and it is all my fault. What's worse is I'm going to try and help her escape even though I was literally two years from my freedom and there is no way that Manda is going to forgive this. I have arranged for a power shortage for exactly twenty minutes, which should be plenty of time for me to get Tearju and Eve off of the space station. With any luck I too will be able to sneak off. Looking at the charts the long range ship I have secured for Tearju should be able to take her and Eve far away, unfortunately the only remaining craft will force me to make planet fall at a Grade 3- Civilised World. Sol-III. Data records suggest the locals call this planet Earth. It shouldn't be too hard to blend in and the Charmian fleet's presence might deter Manda from chasing after me.'

"Do you see?" Mikado stepped out from behind some tables. "Do you see why I don't deserve saving."

"Nope," Naruto tilted his head. "From what I see you were a prisoner here."

"Not as such," Mikado smiled softly. "I wanted to be a doctor so bad when I was young. It was my dream, my goal." She sighed sadly. "But I was from a poor family. We could never afford the fees for me to learn to become a doctor. My parents tried their best to raise the money though."

"Let me guess," Naruto sighed. "This Manda fellow tricked them into signing an agreement."

"Yes," Mikado nodded. "I was to receive the education that I always wanted but in return my parents were to work for Manda to pay off the debt."

"And I'm guessing that the debt was so high that it was impossible to pay off."

"Not at first," Mikado smiled sadly. "My parents owned a small courier class space craft and Manda had them smuggle illegal goods. One such assignment had them carrying a shipment of highly addictive drugs through a particularly risky path." She started to shake. "They were killed by some pirates."

"I'm sorry," Naruto put an arm around Mikado who leaned into his embrace.

"It's my fault… I wanted to become a doctor to help people but all I ever did was make weapons that hurt people and got my family killed."

"That wasn't you." Naruto chastised her gently.

"The cost of the chemicals that were lost as well as the remaining debt was passed onto me. I was too scared to say no. I did everything they ever asked of me because I didn't want them to kill me. Because I was selfish and cowardly… my creations killed people."

"You can't shoulder all the blame for that," Naruto shook his head. "Sure you might have made it but you weren't the one who used it."

"Is there any difference?" Mikado pushed herself away from Naruto. "It doesn't matter either way. There are 29851 people who have all suffered because of me."

"That… was oddly specific." Naruto's eyes widened. "You keep track don't you?"

"How can I ever redeem myself if I don't know the extent of my sins?" Mikado smiled sadly. "One of my creations nearly killed you."

"Meh," Naruto waved off her concern. "I nearly die every week. I have so many near-Death experiences me and the Grim Reaper are on first name terms. She's called Lucy for what it's worth."

"Even if I could leave Manda would only invade Earth again." Mikado lowered her head. "This… This is the fate I deserve."

"So that's it then?" Naruto stood up. "You are giving up on any chance of redemption?"

"What choice do I have?" Mikado scowled bitterly. "If I kill myself he will just destroy Earth."

"Let him try." Naruto declared.

"Eh?"

"I'll just have to find this Manda guy and kick his ass."

"But… he is a crime lord." Mikado found herself stunned by Naruto's simple nature. "Even if you did beat him he would have his lackies destroy the Earth."

"Only if I leave some of them alive." Naruto stated.

"Naruto?!"

"I… I don't like the idea of killing someone… But if the alternative is letting you suffer or seeing the Earth get destroyed…" Naruto clenched his fists and looked at her with his fierce blue eyes. "Then to protect my precious people I will wade through a river of blood."

"No…" Mikado shook her head furiously. "I won't have your innocence tainted because of me."

"That's fine," Naruto grinned. "If it makes you feel any better you can think that it's because that son of a bitch had a frigate level a small chunk of my hometown playing target practice with me! I can only pray that no-one got hurt."

"You…" Mikado's shoulders slumped. "You really are planning to fight him aren't you?"

"Yup." Naruto nodded. "I'm not the smartest person around. I know that. I can't think of special tactics or diplomatic solutions to problems. I don't have the patience to wait things out and I sure as hell don't have the mental disposition to run away when someone needs my help. I have a very simple approach to dealing with most of my problems." He slammed his fist into his open palm. "Keep punching until the problem is solved. Whilst I distract him you can go back home!"

"I… I can't," Mikado removed her lab coat and started to unbutton her bra.

"W-w-what are you doing?!" Naruto looked away. "If you think you can seduce me into leaving you then it won't work!"

"No… you can look."

Naruto turned back and froze. "What is that?"

"This?" Mikado's hands rested on a thick metallic disk that was attached to her left breast. "This is a bomb. It has a sensor on it and should someone tamper with it… It will explode. Should I upset Manda he can activate it and it will explode. I can't escape so just leave me be."

"So I'm guessing that this Manda has the key to removing that?" Naruto pursed his lips.

"You'd have to kill him to get the key and if he even thought he had a chance of losing he would probably detonate the bomb anyway just to spite you." Mikado smiled. "I appreciate you trying to save me Naruto but you just can't save everyone. Just go, you have a child on the way. Do you want Lala to have to raise your child alone because you died on a foolish quest?"

"If I didn't try and save you," Naruto's blue eyes pierced Mikado's very soul. "I wouldn't be able to look my child in the eyes. I might survive in body… but my spirit would wither." He grabbed her hand causing the usually forward nurse to blush, "I will save you. That is a promise."

"I-idiot," Mikado pulled away. "It's me who's supposed to get your heart racing, not the other way around."

"Eh?"

"Nothing," Mikado smiled. "Nothing at all."

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Gid blinked. "A Frigate of unknown origin swooped into Earth's atmosphere, levelled a small area of town and kidnapped Naruto, yet the locals of Earth are claiming that it is a government hoax and that the videos are all photo shopped?! Some of them even have no recollection of it even happening?"

"It appears that way sir," Zastin cleared his throat awkwardly. "Should we send some forces to aid Naruto-dono?"

"Meh," Gid waved dismissively. "I'm sure that he'll be fine. Besides Fu is guarding Earth at the moment. She can deal with it."

"Fu-chan can do what?"

"…FU what are you doing here?"

"Eating Sephie-chan's cooking ;D"

"I invited her here," Sephie walked into the throne room with a tray of cookies.

"So… Nobody was in fact guarding Lala, Momo and Nana when this frigate attacked where they live." Gid sucked air in through his teeth.

"A frigate attacked Earth?" Fu looked guilty. "Oopsie daisy."

"Oh dear..." Sephie looked worried. "I wonder why the Charmain Fleet didn't intervene."

"Probably because they were caught off guard. Even my ships sensors didn't pick up the ship until it jumped out of the system." Zastin bowed his head. "It seems to be headed towards Calypso."

"The Crime planet," Gid raised an eyebrow. "Well that means either the Godmother of Calypso is involved or one of the two families."

"Two families?" Fu blinked.

"Gama, Orochi and Namekuji." Gid scowled at her. "The Three great clans of crime, although know there are only the Orochi and the Namekuji. I wiped out the Gama clan ages ago for trading in clones of royal family members."

"Kurama-nee always said they were framed," Fu remarked.

"Didn't stop her from wiping them out though," Gid smirked.

"Did she? I didn't know that," Fu shot Sephie a look.

"Remind me how the hell you earned the position of the Seventh Holy Knight if you don't know something as basic and well known as that." Gid rubbed his forehead. "Okay… can we deploy _her?" _

"Who is he talking about?" Zastin looked puzzled. "Does he mean Kurama-dono?"

"Shh!" Fu put a finger on her lips. "He doesn't know that everyone already knows that Kurama-neesama is locked up in a secret facility on Earth."

"That's top secret!" Gid exclaimed. "How the hell does everyone know?"

"Oh I told them." Sephie smiled.

"You can't just go blabbing military secrets," Gid remarked sulkily. "Fine, can we send Kurama?"

"She is still recovering from the last time she left the safety of the Vault. You know that she needs at least two weeks to recover." Sephie reminded him.

"Well I guess Naruto is out of luck then," Gid leaned back in his chair.

"There… There is one tiny issue," Zastin cleared his throat nervously. "The princesses…"

"Will be upset if he dies, I know." Gid stood up. "But if he can't survive this… better they suffer now rather than later on when Lala is pregnant or something."

"Er… About that…"

"What?!" Gid roared. "I thought Fu was making that up! She has been sending it in reports since Lala and Naruto first met!"

"I did say that this time i meant it in my last report." Fu pointed out.

"Fine… Take the Fifth Recon Fleet." Gid growled. "I want that blonde bastard found so I can..." Gid mumbled the rest to himself.

"But… the Fifth recon fleet consists of three scout frigates…" Zastin paled. "Five would struggle to take on the one combat frigate that is reported to have stolen Naruto."

"They kidnapped Naruto!" Fu's eyes widened. "There's not time to waste! All forces deploy X("

"It's worse than that," Zastin cleared his throat. "The princesses have launched their own rescue effort."

"…But they don't have a ship," Gid said very slowly. "Because I ordered you to convince Lala to allow us to take Yami's vessel so that she couldn't have access to space travel without your ship."

"To be honest Lala-sama would just build a ship," Zastin winced under Gid's glare, "And Naruto kind of found where Kurama had hidden the Kyuubi. "

"Her old ship?" Gid blinked. "So are you telling me that my heirs are racing towards a fight with an intergalactic crime syndicate armed only with thier wits and a hight tech battleship? Huh." Gid grinned. "They are my girls, it's to be expected. Send the Twelfth Royal Fleet but only commit to the fight if it looks like Lala and the others need it. I can't be coddling them constantly you know?"

"Understood!" Fu saluted. "I will sit back and watch Naruto get beat up! Shall I gather some of the other Holy Knights?"

"Take the First knight. She hasn't killed anything recently and she always gets a bit edgy around this time."

"But… Is it wise to have her around Naruto? Giving his heritage and everything?" Zastin asked.

"It'll be fine," Gid waved a hand dismissively.

"I'll be sure to keep an eye on her just in case :P."

"Now she takes her job seriously." Gid deadpanned as Fu raced out of the palace. "Well at least she is better than the Eighth Holy Knight. Where is he again?"

"He was guarding the high security prison where you sealed… well you know." Zastin looked uncomfortable.

"Despite her claims she is not a god," Gid snorted. "You can say her name."

"I would rather not risk awakening her." Zastin mumbled. "If she ever got out… I don't think we could seal her again."

"Right, right," Gid waved Zastin off.

"It's okay they are gone." Sephie smiled as Gid suddenly started coughing violently.

"It's getting worse," He looked at his hand, stained with specks of blood. "I was hoping we would have more time."

"Have faith," Sephie kissed him on the cheek. "Naruto will become strong enough to hold onto your seat. Then you can relax."

"Heh," Gid started coughing again. "If he can't get out of this without help then maybe I should start looking at the other suitor's again."

"You won't do that," Sephie chided him, "You like Naruto too much."

"He isn't entirely useless," Gid admitted.

"Oh… You're so cute when you go all Tsundere!" Sephie laughed.

Gid's cry of outrage echoed all around Deviluke.

* * *

"I still don't see why I couldn't drive," Lala pouted as she sat in the central area of the ship, leaning on the central control unit feeling sorry for herself.

"Because unlike you, Yui-chan can actually fly the ship for a period of greater than a minute without crashing horribly?" Momo shivered recalling some of her past flights with Lala.

"I'm not that bad…"

"Lala, no instructor on Deviluke is willing to be in the ship with you when you are flying." Momo deadpanned, "And those are Devilukians! As a species we seem to be happiest when our lives are on the line!"

"Really?" Risa frowned.

"Yeah," Momo frowned. "We were originally built for combat so as a species we tend to love the adrenaline rush of a near death experience."

"Is that why Naruto is so eager to fight?" Risa asked. "Him being a half blood and all that."

"No," Momo smiled, "Naruto doesn't just go around picking fights for no reason. Naruto enjoys fighting but I think it is more the cause than the actual fight itself. He fights to defend and protect and enjoys the attention that protecting people earns him."

"So to put it bluntly he just likes to play the hero," Kushina sighed. "I could have told you that. Hmm… I wonder…"

"Kushina?"

"Maybe he has a fetish for saving damsels in distress," Kushina grinned. "I can see it now. He defeats the dragon and climbs up into the princesses' tower, pinning her to the bed and claiming his reward." She started to rub her thighs together. "Oh what a big sword you have Mr Knight…" Kushina giggled until the ship jerked harshly causing her to fall out of her seat and bang her head.

"Sorry." Yui called from the cockpit. "This is my first time flying."

"That was totally on purpose!" Kushina declared. "This ship is flying in autopilot!"

"Oh is it?" Yui sounded far too innocent for Kushina's liking.

"Can we save the sexy fantasies for when we are back home?" Risa frowned. "I am starting to have second thoughts about this whole 'Let's rescue Naruto' thing we've got going on."

"Oh?" Lala tilted her head. "Why is that?"

"Well it might not be so bad for you devilukians but the rest of us are human."

"Well try on your battle suits!" Lala cheered. "I'll bet they are awesome and make you feel super strong!"

"Well…" Risa looked at the crystalline green armband that Bunta had given her. "It doesn't really look like much to be perfectly honest but I guess it couldn't hurt." She tapped the armband in three places then cried out in alarm as a green glow enveloped her. When the glow faded she was hovering slightly, her legs encased in a transparent green armour that made her look as if she was frozen in emerald. The armour had crystalline shoulder pads and gauntlets as well as several large crystals that looked like fairy wings behind her. "Whoa… This is awesome."

"Let's see how effective it is!" Lala picked up an energy rifle and fired at Risa who cried out in alarm only to blink in shock as the attack struck an invisible wall that crackled and the energy blast dissipated. Looking at her gauntlet Risa noted one of the holographic rings had changed colour slightly and a warning symbol appeared.

"You could have warned me what you were going to do."

"Oh so they have shields," Lala titled her head.

"YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW!" Risa blinked.

"Teehee," Lala stuck her tongue out and bopped herself on the head.

"Don't 'Teehee' me!" Risa sighed. "I get it, no more going on about the fact that I, Risa, beat you to getting married to Naruto first and…" There was another crackling noise and the shield indicator went yellow. "I'll be good." Risa deactivated the suit. "Still this are pretty awesome. Are they common in space?"

"Nope," Lala shook her head. "They are really expensive so no one uses them. Besides they are powered by ancient Arcangus artefacts that we haven't been able to replicate. There are maybe a grand total of thirty of the generator artefacts that power those suits and they are more often put into battleships to get the most out of them."

"But they are so awesome!"

"Most devilukians feel they make fighting too easy," Momo remarked. "The Charmians use them but let's be honest. They suck at fighting. I mean at least they're not as bad as humans though."

"On behalf of all humanity, get bent!" Risa stuck her tongue out.

"If Naruto's behind me I'll bend over anything," Momo purred.

"Who wouldn't?" Risa laughed.

"I have the enemy frigate on my scopes!" Yui cried out in alarm. "What do I do?!"

"Prepare for combat!" Lala declared.

"Or we could use the Kyuubi's stealth system to sneak up on them and board without any fuss." Momo suggested.

"But I wanna impress Naruto by going in all guns blazing," Lala pouted. "But if you all want to be boring…"

"Remind me again," Risa turned to Momo. "She does remember that she is pregnant right?"

"Of course I remember!" Lala rubbed her stomach fondly. "I'm carrying Naruto's first child!"

"Well I'm still his first bride." Risa retorted.

There was a hum of an energy weapon charging.

"…Sorry." Risa meekly bowed her head.

"Now…" Lala pointed dramatically towards the enemy frigate. "Let's save our husband, "For Love, for compassion, for Naruto!"

"And For the obscene amounts of sex we will have after saving him!" Kushina yelled.

"Now that's a cause I can get behind!" Risa laughed.

"I'd rather Naruto get behind me." Momo cracked her knuckles.

"All I wanted was a heroic entrance…" Lala slumped.

"There, there," Yui patted her on the back. _'Maybe it's just me but I hope you don't need rescuing because this rescue team is more likely going to be the one needing rescued…' _She sighed.


	23. Chapter 23: Severing Chains

To Love Ruto

A/N: Okay so this chapter introduces some of the cast of To Love Ru Darkness. They will have to odd cameo in this story but won't have any major parts until To Love Ruto Darkness (the sequel).

Also; 1000+ Reviews! I can't believe that this story has made it this far! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me all this time and all the new readers as well. It is your reviews that keep me writing this so thanks to you all.

The next chapter is going to be another light hearted one probably based on the video game world again. We'll see the poll says the next story arc will be Rin's and then Nana's after that so there's that.

Oh as per usual the lemon is located at the very end of the chapter. I've tried to write this chapter so it doesn't feel as if the lemon is missing from the main story so we'll see how that goes down.

The story I mentioned in the last Chapter (the Neptunia/ Naruto one) is called Hero of Dimensions so if you want to check it out feel free. The first chapter is already written and the second one shouldn't take too long to come out. In the next chapter Naruto meets the Planeptune crew so there's that.

One last thing, I'm kind of surprised that I got so many PMs asking 'When did Haruna join the harem?' I'm hoping those were sent before you read the whole chapter. If not then Haruna isn't in the harem as of this moment. That was a dream world created by a parasite that was trying to dominate Naruto's psyche.

Can't think of anything else to add so… I hope you enjoy this chapter. It took me a fair bit of time because I wasn't able to get it to flow as well as I had hoped.

Thanks to Shinnagami again for Beta-ing this. Make sure to check out his profile for the Hero of Dimensions if you like Hyperdimension Neptunia, Naruto and harems.

Disclaimer: I don't own jack. Anyone feel like donating money to me to buy the rights to Naruto? Didn't think so…

* * *

Chapter 23: Severing Chains (How to Save a Life Part 2)

The ball room was full of a strange variety of aliens all dancing strange exotic dances, some of them looking like aristocrats, the others like accomplished criminals but all of them looking incredibly wealthy. Sat on a throne overlooking them all was a reptilian looking alien wearing an expensive looking suit. It had purple scales and four little spikes, two on each size of his head. Two predatory yellow eyes scanning the room for any potential threats or people of interest.

"How droll are these events," The serpentine man gestured to a waiter who brought him a glass of wine. "Why do I host such parties?"

"Someone has to fill the void of the Gama clan," A holographic projection on his arm rest informed him. "You were the one who wanted to claim their power and influence. Even a criminal organisation has to keep up appearances to court the noble buyers."

"You were always the better when it came to dealing with the nobility Orochimaru."

"Now, now Manda," The now named Orochimaru smiled. "You are the older brother and it falls to you to run the business. I am much too busy with a few side projects to help you right now."

"Yes, yes, modifying the creatures of Sol-III right?"

"That right," Orochimaru nodded. "They are so adaptable they take well to most genetic modifications and there are so many lost souls all looking for someone to look after them that they are incredibly loyal to me. They even formed a sort of gang. It is kind of amusing to see weaklings, abandoned by their own banding together to try and appear stronger. Unfortunately I lost one of my most promising creations not so long ago. I miss my little kitty cat but there are more where she came from."

"Yes, yes," Manda waved idly. "As much as I would love to hear how promising are, I only want to know one thing. Are they stronger than Devilukians?"

"…Not at the moment."

"Try harder little brother."

"I will get you the power you need," Orochimaru promised. "Just remember the deal."

"Yes, yes," Manda waved a hand, "You get the small princess. What was her name again?"

"Nana Astar Deviluke."

"Astar?" Manda scoffed. "She isn't even one of the seven generals. Wouldn't you prefer the Satalin girl?"

"I was thinking it would make more sense for you to marry her when you defeat Gid. It would give more legitimacy to your claim as Emperor after all."

"Tch. I would prefer a more slim-line figure. Those cow udders hold no appeal to me. Still what you say makes sense. I will think on it brother." Manda dismissed the hologram and stood up, making his way through the party, nodding with a forced smile as he saw several nobles who all were frequent clients. He would have to play nice for now but soon the time would come when even Gid bowed to his power and he had Mikado to thank for that.

He was annoyed when he lost the Judgement Bio-weapon but with an energy as unique as that finding her would not be too difficult. His early reports suggested the weapon was on Sol III, a strange little mud ball that had for some reason held great hidden treasures that the rest of the galaxy had yet to exploit. Only the Charmian people seemed to know the treasures and jealously guarded them under the pretence of protecting the uncivilised races of the planet.

"Maybe I should send some probes into the area," Manda narrowed his eyes. "Although I'll wait until the heat has died down a little. My little retrieval mission drew a lot more attention than anticipated seeing as that idiot Obutsu can't do anything right. Still you did find me something useful too didn't you Mea?"

"I serve as your tool," A red haired girl wearing a dress with a black dress with a star shape cut out above her breasts appeared from nowhere, kneeling before Manda, who regarded her with distaste.

"Hm…" Manda glanced at the bowing assassin who appeared to be completely invisible to the others in the room. "Soon I will have recovered all of the bio-weapons and another piece in my plans against Gid will be complete. Now be gone." Manda waved a hand at Mea. "Your figure disgusts me. Hopefully once that blonde boy is fully conditioned he will make a much more pleasant sight." Manda licked his lips.

"As you wish," Mea bowed her head and faded from sight.

"Useless bitch," Manda mumbled before forcing another smile and continuing his rounds, unaware of the small tanned girl with piercing amber eyes watching his every move, her long black hair twitching as if it was alive, a small smile spreading on her face.

"I found another, my beloved," She whispered to no one in particular before blending back into the background. "Our family may grow more yet."

* * *

"So…" Naruto watched Mikado working on something. "What are you doing?"

"… I have projects that I must finish." Mikado replied. "If not…"

"What?" Naruto raised an eyebrow, "He'll destroy the Earth? I doubt this guy could do that. Think about it don't the Charmians, who happen to own the largest fleet in the Galaxy I might remind you, guard Earth? He might be able to sneak a single frigate in but he'd need an entire Armada to destroy Earth."

"Not necessarily" Mikado shook her head. "If he had access to the right materials he could finish the planet buster weapon I was working on before the Bio-Weapons project."

"I remember reading about that," Naruto cleaned out on of his ears. "What do you mean by Bio-weapons and the Core of Judgement?"

"Yami is a bio-weapon," Mikado explained. "It is a creature that is created purely as a weapon but… the thing about living creatures is that they develop minds and personalities. Yami… well Eve she was called back then is one such example. The core of Judgement or as it is referred to in other texts, the Darkness of Judgement, is one of the two legendary cores or as some call them God cores. They were used in the weapons that wiped out the Damus and the Arcangus. Some think they are power cells for a giant weapon, other believe that they were inserted into a bio-weapon that was programmed to kill all life."

"So there were two cores?"

"Depending on what sources you believe," Mikado gestured lazily to a pile of tablets as she stared into a microscope, "There was either a single core or there were two: The Darkness of Judgment and the Light of Genesis."

"Huh," Naruto blinked. _'You two got anything to add?" _

'_**Well… I guess the bio-weapon thing is technically true,' **_Asmodea reluctantly admitted. _**'As for the core things? I don't know. I never really got involved with her creation.' **_

'_Her? _

'_Kaguya-hime.' _The usually bubbly Raphael sounded much more reserved. _'She was to bring true peace to the galaxy… unfortunately she decided we were the only things stopping that and attempted to wipe us all out.' _

'_**I think we can say she did better than 'attempted'.' **_Asmodea snorted.

'_Well what happened to her?' _

'_**Oh I can't remember. I think we sealed her away but died in the attempt. I can't remember. She isn't around now anyway so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Even if she was around there is little you would be able to do against her.' **_

"Huh," Naruto repeated. "Wait you said Yami was a weapon called Eve?" He frowned. "Why doesn't she say anything about that?"

"She has no memories," Mikado smiled softly. "When Lala brought her to me in order to give her a health check I tested all of her parameters. She only has a few memories left from before meeting you and none of them help much. She vaguely remembers Tearju although not who she is or what she meant to Eve."

"That sucks," Naruto paused. "Are her memories sealed like mine were?"

"No they have been completely destroyed." Mikado shook her head. "There is no way for her to recover her memories."

"Damn," Naruto sighed before looking pumped up. "Well then I'll just have to make sure her life with us is as happy as possible to make up for her lost memories!"

"Heh," Mikado laughed softly, "That sounds pleasant."

"Our house will be busy," Naruto sighed, "Especially now we will you living with us."

"Yeah especially… wait what?"

"Well if you are going to get kidnapped by criminals regularly you might as well live in the safest house on Earth." Naruto replied matter-of-factly. "And with all the pregnancies that may one day happen it would be useful to have a doctor in the house."

"You want these hands to deliver your children," Mikado stared at her hands, "These hands that have designed terrible weapons that have taken away so many lives… Created so many horrors…"

"Yet has saved so many lives," Naruto took her hands in his own. "I hear from Lala all the time about the aliens who can't afford proper treatment and smuggle themselves to Earth, where you treat them at great cost to yourself, never asking for payment."

"I am not a good person," Mikado pulled her hands free, "I am just atoning for my sins."

"Really?" Naruto tilted his head. "A bad person would take pleasure in the destruction their work had created, a normal person might claim that since they didn't actually use the weapons personally that it isn't their fault they were used to kill. Only a good person would blame themselves for what other people do with the items you make and only the best kind of person would seek to atone for what other people have done. Besides," Naruto looked around the lab, "If I didn't think you were a good person would I have come to save you?"

"Yes," Mikado replied, "You always try and save everyone."

"Well there is that," Naruto admitted. "But even so… I came here because you are one of my precious people and I refuse to let anyone I care about get themselves into a bad situation."

"Then you have to choose," Mikado pointed out. "If you try and save me you doom Earth and everyone you love but if you leave me behind…"

"Not happening," Naruto remarked bluntly. "I'm going to find this Manda fellow and kick his ass, save you and hopefully make it back home before Lala does something stupid."

"Like try to take on a whole criminal organisation in order to save one person?" Mikado asked.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "What?" He caught Mikado's look, "Oh it's different when I do it." He remarked exasperatedly.

"Yes, maybe Lala won't get knocked out and captured." Mikado remarked.

"…Shut up," Naruto replied sulkily, "Look this isn't the first time I've been kidnapped so I know what I'm…" He was cut off by his phone ringing.

[I warned you about speaking about that incident.] – Psycho Maid.

"Huh?" Mikado pulled out her phone and blinked. "Why have I just been sent a picture of you wearing a diaper with a dummy in your mouth?"

"…Seriously?" Naruto sighed. "I am on an alien spaceship god knows how far away from Earth and she can still eavesdrop on me?! I didn't even mention Saki for crying out loud!"

Mikado's phone vibrated again.

"I don't even want to know," Naruto groaned.

"Really?" Mikado smiled at him. "I think the black gimp suit looks good on you."

"I hope the girls are having a better time of it than I am…" Naruto sobbed.

* * *

"This is kind of spooky," Yui shivered as she checked the display on her battle suit. Unlike Risa's hers didn't cover much, consisting of a basic harness made of a blue sapphire-like material which considering she was still wearing the far too revealing maid's outfit made her worry that Naruto thought she was here to carry out some shameless acts on him rather than save him. A bracer showed a real time scan of the local area and Yui wasn't sure whether the lack of movement that wasn't her or the other girls was reassuring or not. She was walking through one of the countless maintenance corridors that travelled through the ship, trying not to wonder too much about the various scorches across the walls and the odd stains that were on the floor. No sooner had the girls boarded the frigate that had attacked Earth than they had a feeling something wasn't right. The frigate was relatively intact outside but inside the ship had many signs of battle although there were no corpses.

"Agreed," Risa's voice sounded in her ear, courtesy of the in suit comm. "You found anything yet?"

"No…" Yui bit her lip." My suit is reporting no movement beside us."

"Where did everyone go?" Lala's voice sounded over the comms. She sounded frustrated. "A frigate like this should have had a crew of at least three hundred!"

"T-three hundred?" Yui shivered. "What could make three hundred people just disappear?"

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "I didn't even get to heroically defeat an enemy to impress Naruto…"

"That's the least of our concerns," Risa deadpanned. "Right now we need to find some sort of clue as to where everyone went so we know where Naruto is."

"Huh…" Momo sounded over the comms.

"What is it?" Yui asked as she reached a cross roads, glancing around for any sign to give her a clue where she was.

"The captain had an impressive porn stash."

"W-what?"

"I'm in his room now," Momo clarified. "Nothing here but a collection of dirty magazines and pictures of… huh…"

"Who?"

"Mum," Momo stated bluntly.

"Ecchi pictures of mother?!" Nana squawked over the comms.

"No… just pictures of her at official outings. Guess the captain had a soft spot for her."

"Well she is the most beautiful woman in the galaxy," Nana proudly declared.

"Hmm…" Momo sounded thoughtful, "Do you think Naruto would agree?"

"About mother?" Lala sounded concerned. "He… He might… Mama is very attractive and he wouldn't be the first to be enslaved by her beauty."

"Naruto isn't interested in such shallow things," Yui declared. "He is not the kind of person to let something like a person's good looks control him. He loves us for who we are not what we look like."

"Although I'm sure having a girlfriend with your shameless figure isn't a bad bonus," Momo remarked.

"S-shameless?"

"Come on Yui," Momo chuckled. "Your breasts are like…. Wow! You know? I know for a fact Naruto really likes them."

"He… He does?" Yui glanced at her chest uneasily.

"He definitely likes playing with my breasts so he would love playing with yours!" Lala declared.

"Ane-ue!" Nana gasped. "I can't believe you let that perverted beast touch you like that!"

"You do know they've had sex right?" Momo pointed out.

"I… I refuse to believe Ane-ue would let that beast touch her in such a way!"

"He does and I love it when he does!" Lala declared without a hint of shame.

"H-how can you say something so shameless so proudly!?" Yui went crimson.

"Because I love Naruto and anything that is proof of our love I am proud to admit!"

"Have you tried anal?" Momo asked.

"W-what?!" Yui couldn't believe the devilukian's apparent lack of shame.

"Not yet," Lala admitted.

"Hah another first taken by Kushina!" Kushina proudly declared.

"Wait what?" Lala's voice went dark. "Say Kushina-chan? Where are you? I want to have a chat with you." She said in a sing song voice.

"Well if that voice didn't trigger every survival alarm bell I have I don't know what will." Kushina snorted. "I'm not going anywhere near you until you calm down."

"I am calm," Lala's voice still sounded weird.

"Really," Kushina sounded unconvinced.

"But I have this pictures of a naked Naruto…" Lala trailed off.

"Naked pictures?" Kushina sounded tempted despite her words. "Why would I want those when I have the real thing?"

"He is in some interesting poses."

"I know she is trying to lure me into a trap but damn it if I'm not tempted." Kushina remarked.

"Can we focus on finding our Naruto?" Nana exclaimed.

"Our?" Momo asked.

"Er… I mean… Damn it Momo!"

"You all heard that right?" Momo asked.

"Yep!" Lala cheerfully agreed, her slightly menacing tone completely vanished.

"I've recorded it," Risa added.

"You… I…" Nana stammered. "Why would I like that perverted beast?!"

"Well he is really good in bed," Risa suggested.

"Really good," Kushina agreed.

"Really, really good," Lala added her own thoughts. "Plus he is really handsome!"

"There is more than that!" Yui declared hotly. "He is a kind person and is always looking out for other people. He… He makes you feel safe and loved and when you are with him you just know everything is going to work out alright."

"That was beautiful…" A tearful Lala sobbed happily.

"Eh?" Yui was taken aback by Lala's over-reaction.

"Pregnancy," Momo remarked bluntly in response to the question no-one had yet asked.

"Oh…" Yui fidgeted. "Wait! I'm picking up some movement!" She cried out in alarm. "It's… It's heading right at me!"

"Activate your weapons!" Lala declared. "We are on our way!"

"R-right…" Yui held out a hand. "Weapons systems engage!" There was a bright blue glow in front of her that slowly faded, revealing a futuristic looking rifle with a barrel the size of Yui herself. When she grabbed the handle, several small blue crystals surrounded the rifle, supporting the large weapon. "It's moving towards me quickly!" She panicked.

"Hang on!"

"It's here!" Yui screamed as her radar went crazy. She shut her eyes and fired the rifle furiously, sending long spears of blue energy screaming down the corridor and burning holes through the walls.

"Hold fire!" Nana barked.

"Eh?" Yui stopped firing and peeked through her fingers to see an unimpressed Nana holding a shivering ball of fluff. "W-what?"

"It was this…" Nana held up the strange creature, that looked like some sort of cross between a cat and a rabbit. "Ohki's are common on ships like this," Nana calmed the jittery creature by stroking its fur. "They are attracted to power sources and this little one could sense your power suit and went to investigate."

[Big boobs is really scary!] The small creature communicated to Nana.

"I know," Nana glared at Yui's chest before returning her attention to the shaking animal.

"You can understand it?" Yui blinked.

"Yes," Nana nodded. "It's kind of my special ability."

"That's really cool," Yui smiled at her, "I love cats and would love to be able to talk to them."

"R-really?" Nana blinked. "I didn't know you like animals."

"Well…" Yui blushed, "Cats are cute. Now that I can see it… that little fellow's quite cute as well."

"Yeah," Nana smiled as Yui stroked the creature's head.

[Big boobs is nice to me now?] The creature seemed confused but was happy all the same.

"Sorry I almost hit you," Yui bowed her head.

[Big boobs hit everything but me. Big Boobs would have be beaten by strange amber girl.]

"Wait… Strange amber girl?" Nana held the creature to her face. "What do you mean?"

[Was in room with big glowing orb that make me feel fuzzy inside when I hear voices. Angry voices. Peeked out of the grate and saw two people. Young girls with flat chest like you.]

Nana twitched but said nothing.

[Mentioned looking for other bio-weapons.] The cat creature tilted its head. [Released strange little robots that ate everyone on ship.]

"Can you describe the two girls?"

[Hmm… Both small. Long fur from heads. One had red and glowed blue the other had head-fur that was black. She was one with the amber eyes. Amber eyes seemed to be in charge. She changed shape. Other ship dwellers never did that. They lost parts but that was it.] The cabbit seemed relatively uninterested.

"Apparently two girls about my size killed everyone," Nana blinked. "One had red hair and glowed blue and the other had black hair and amber eyes. Ring any bells?"

"I don't know of any criminals who look like that," Lala sounded thoughtful.

"Er… Guys?" Momo sounded over the comms. "We have a problem!"

"What?" Yui blinked as her radar went crazy. "What is going on?!"

[Very small hungry robots woken up. Maybe Big Boobs shooting woke them up?]

"Nano bots are on board and they are programmed to destroy any evidence of people being on board!" Nana cried out. "We have to get out of here!"

"R-right!" Yui and Nana started racing down the corridor. "Do… Do you hear that?"

There was a chittering noise that was steadily getting nearer.

"Oh no!" Nana cried out. "A dead end!"

"No!" Yui skidded to a halt and turned to see a rapidly approaching wall of glistening death heading towards her. "This was a stupid idea!"

"I can't die here…" Nana blinked. "I… I refuse! My name is Nana Astar Deviluke and mine is the seal of Astar!" She erupted in a blast of red energy which finally faded to reveal her transformed state, complete with a kimono and two small devil horns barely big enough to poke out of her hair. **"Such a drag… That I should have to deal with this nuisance. Namakemono no hōyō (Sloth's Embrace)" **Astar-Nana pulled her obi from the Kimono and lazilytossed it towards the wall of death.

The obi started to expand until it blocked the hallway and shielded Astar-Nana and Yui from the ferocious Nano-machines.

"Are we safe?"

"**Do not doubt your betters." **Astar-Nana sneered. "**You may worship me as your saviour if you please." **

"Er…" Yui pointed to the cloth wall that was slowly but surely being destroyed by the miniscule monsters.

"**Huh…" **Astar-Nana started to sweat. "**It appears… I greatly underestimated their numbers… I can't maintain the energy draining effect of the cloth…" **With a sudden popping noise, Nana stumbled forward, back in her usual attire. "Oh… Maybe I should have practiced fighting more… Then I wouldn't die this easy." Nana fell to her knees. "I never got to tell Naruto how I really feel!"

"No… I won't give up!" Yui declared. "Naruto would keep fighting until the end! Weapons systems engage! Firing mode: Burst!" A large shotgun style weapon appeared in Yui's arms and she fired shot after shot at the advancing wall. _'I can't die like this! I have so much left to do! I haven't even done *that* with Naruto! The worst thing is… I'll never get to see his face again.' _Yui yelled in frustration as the swarm enveloped her and Nana before quickly going elsewhere.

"Eh?" Nana and Yui blinked.

"Did it…" Nana looked down. "M…My clothes?!" She cried out in alarm as she tried to cover herself.

"T-those perverted robots!" Yui agreed as she too tried to shield herself.

[Robots only target non-living things that are not electrical.] The Ohki added. [To clear up the evidence but leave the ship intact.]

"Say that sooner you damn fluff ball!" Nana declared tears in eyes.

[I thought it was obvious as I am still alive.] The cat-rabbit defended itself.

The two naked girls made their way back to the Kyuubi where everyone else was waiting for them.

"Did we miss something?" Momo raised an eyebrow as the two naked girls shuffled on board carrying a cat-rabbit creature. "Oh is that an Ohki? Haven't seen one of those in a while."

"Don't want to talk about it…" Nana mumbled.

"I never got to tell Naruto how I really feel!" A recording of Nana's voice declared.

"EH?" Nana went beet read and turned to see Momo grinning evilly.

"See the Kyuubi was able to get into the nav-computer of that frigate and recover the co-ordinates of the last place it visited. Oh and this interesting little video," Momo smirked as she replayed Nana's anguished cry. "I wonder what Naruto would think about this? I'll transfer it to my D-dial for future use."

"Nee-chan!" Nana charged at Momo and started grappling with her for the D-dial.

"So," Yui turned away from the twins, "Did we find Naruto's location?"

"Looks like it," Lala nodded eagerly.

"Hey…" Yui looked around. "Where's Kushina-san?"

A large locker started shaking as if something inside it was trying to escape. If you listened you could just hear a muffled shouting over the sound of the ship's engines.

"I'm sure she's around here somewhere." Lala's smile never faltered.

"Being Naruto's first in everything is really important to you isn't it?" Yui sighed.

"Of course," Lala smiled. "If I had never met him…. I would…." Lala looked sad. "I don't know what I would have done."

"Lala…" Yui hugged the downcast alien.

Yami walked into the room to see the naked Yui hugging Lala. "Ecchi."

"Huh?" Yui remembered her naked state. "It's not like that! I have no interest in Lala like that! I only think about Naruto like that!" Yui froze as she realised what she had said. "I mean… Not like that! I mean… he is my boyfriend so there would be n-nothing wrong about thinking about him sometimes but I wasn't but even if I was it wouldn't have been wrong as I am his girlfriend!" Yui rambled on.

"…Ecchi confirmed." Yami remarked before turning around, causing Yui to flinch as if she had been struck by an arrow.

"I… I am not…" Yui protested weakly.

"There, there," Risa patted her head. "It's okay. You are one of us; harem sister Yui. We will accept you regardless of your perversions."

"You're the last person who should be lecturing anyone on perversions!"

* * *

"You are insane," Mikado repeated.

"Okay… which part of my plan is insane?" Naruto crossed his arms and glanced at Mikado before returning his attention to the screen in front of him. It showed a small space vessel marked with a blue ring that was one of thirty vessels on the screen, the largest vessel being over fifty times larger than the circled vessel.

"We are in this ship here. It is a class five research vessel. It has… well had one giant simulation hall until you and Obutsu decided to destroy it. Six sub-light engines that means the ship needs to be tethered to a larger ship in order to make long range jumps and also has no weapons and only the most basic defensive systems."

"Yes." Naruto nodded, "You explained all this to me before."

"And you want to use this ship to attack that one," She pointed at the largest ship, "A Class Zero Dreadnaught with state of the art weapons and defensive systems including tractor beams and disruptor cannons that would disable us without any damage to the ship. You want to attack Manda's personal flagship in a crippled research vessel."

"That sounds about right yes." Naruto nodded.

"I repeat myself, you are insane." Mikado shook her head.

"Meh," Naruto waved off her concerns. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Well…" Mikado frowned. "We could just use the teleporter."

"…This ship has a teleporter?" Naruto coughed awkwardly.

"Yes but it is guarded by Manda's elite and…" Mikado was cut off by Naruto cracking his knuckles. "You're going to fight them aren't you?"

"Yep." Naruto grinned. "Which way to the goons?"

"… Follow me." Mikado walked away from the lab. _'Why am I doing this? I could just use some sort of sleeping gas to knock Naruto out then put him in the escape pod. I could just send him away to protect him…. So why aren't I? Why am I showing him to the teleporter? Is it because I don't want to be left here…. I don't want to spend the rest of my life working as a Doctor of Death but rather as a doctor of Life… Or maybe… Just maybe… I believe in him… 'She_ glanced at the blonde youth who was cheerfully whistling. _'He makes me feel safe. Even though I know one person cannot defeat Manda's entire organisation I feel that Naruto can protect me. He accepts me… He didn't reject me and….'_

She remembered Naruto talking her hand and looking her in the eyes. _'I will save you. That is a promise.' _

"Say Naruto…" Mikado cleared her throat. "Do you remember what you promised me when we first met? Well when I first met you back when I had just arrived on Earth?"

"Er…" Naruto frowned. "Oh right, I said I'd be your bodyguard right?" He looked around the corridors they were walking through, glancing into several other labs where people were hard at work. Naruto decided not to ask what they were doing. He figured he wouldn't like the answer and he didn't have time to get distracted right now. Saving Mikado was all that mattered right now.

"Did… Did you mean that?"

"Of course," Naruto nodded. "I'll never let you come to harm so long as there is life in my body."

"…Saying such foolish things," She mumbled. "You'll get an old woman's heart racing."

"You're not old," Naruto chided her.

"Do you know how old I am compared to you?"

"Don't know, don't care." Naruto replied dismissively. "Mikado is Mikado. That is all I need to know. I will fight and protect you."

"But you'll get hurt…"

"Then you'll just have to patch me back up," Naruto replied. "How about it? I protect you and you patch me back together for the rest of our lives?"

"That sounded a bit like a proposal," Mikado joked. "Next you're going to be asking me to move in with you."

"I've already said you are."

"You…" Mikado froze up. "You weren't joking?"

"I told you," Naruto walked passed her. "You are one of my precious people. You have been constantly looking out for me and the others and we all appreciate it." He smiled at her over his shoulder. "I'm sure Lala would probably crash a ship into your house to make sure you moved in with us."

"But…" Mikado was at a loss for words.

"Besides Kushina needs someone to talk to about adult issues." Naruto smiled.

"Oh? Inviting me into your harem?"

"I don't have a harem," Naruto replied automatically.

"Hmm…." Mikado smiled. "I think… I think I might accept your offer."

"Good," Naruto grinned.

"So… Do we have sex now or later?"

"Gargh!" Naruto spluttered his face aflame.

"Still got it." Mikado laughed.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto scowled, annoyed that Mikado had gotten a reaction out of him. _'Well two can play at that game.' _"Hey Mikado?"

"Yes?" Mikado was cut off by Naruto kissing her. It wasn't a deep kiss nor was it a long one. It was just a simple peck on her lip. "N-Naruto?" She put a hand to her lips. "You… You kissed me?"

"See I can make you flustered too," Naruto mumbled.

"Oh?" Mikado raised an eyebrow. "You do know that you have just declared war right? When we get back home I am pulling out all the stops."

"I can't wait." Naruto smirked.

"Heh," Mikado chuckled. _'I am laughing? But he hasn't even faced Manda yet… But part of me knows he will win. He'll take me home and wait… Am I already calling his house home? Naruto Uzumaki… You are a very dangerous person.' _She licked her lips, _'And I think I may have to fully appraise the danger you present.' _"The teleporter is in here," The two walked up to a large door. "Inside is one of Manda's elite soldiers. He has strange abilities so…"

"I'll be careful," Naruto smiled at her.

"You'd better be," Mikado bit her lip. "If you fail then Manda will probably torture me and destroy the Earth as my punishment."

"Well I'll have to make sure not to fail then," Naruto entered the room and found himself in a room clouded by fog. "Well this is odd." He squinted through the thick fog. "I can't see a thing." His danger senses screamed for him to duck and no sooner had he than a large white bolt of some strange material passed through where he had been standing. _'Maybe I'm being hunted by the noise I'm making…' _Naruto thought and slowly crept through the room. The fog was so thick he could barely see three meters in any direction and had already lost sight of the main entrance. _'I can't sense anything. This fog must be messing with my senses.' _Naruto closed his eyes and tried to get a feel for the area. _'Nothing… I hate this.' _Naruto opened his eyes as he stood in something sticky. _'A web?' _He tugged his foot free and suddenly was sent hurtling backwards with a white arrow piercing his shoulder and sending him hurtling backwards.

"Damn!" Naruto yelled and then felt another three arrows hit him in each of his limbs, pinning him to the wall.

"Kukukuku…." A strange clicking noise sounded as the fog started to thin, revealing the room to be large empty room full of spider webs. "Another little fly gets trapped in my web. To think I was expecting a boss level difficulty and ended up with a minion level instead. I doubt I'll even earn XP from beating you."

"The hell?" Naruto scowled as a slim finger dropped from the roof in front of him. The creature looked human except for the six arms and the eight eyes on his forehead. "What the hell are you?"

"I am Kidomaru, retainer of the great Orochi clan." Kidomaru smiled. "Rejoice little fly that you will meet your end against my illustrious self."

"How about no?" Naruto struggled to move.

"Those arrows are solidified energy. They are indestructible so long as they remain crystallised. Continue to struggle though, I love it when my prey believes they have a chance. It makes it all the more delightful when they finally realise it is hopeless. I am far too high a level for you to even hurt."

"That so?" Naruto grimaced. "Shoten!" Naruto roared, compressing his crimson aura causing the energy arrows to also compress and fall out of the much larger wounds they had made. "What? My Shoten ability can compress other people's energy as well as my own? That could be useful." Naruto smirked.

"W-what?" Kidomaru leapt a good twenty feet and perched himself on a web. "How?! Are you using cheat codes? "

"Get down here!" Naruto yelled. "Akuma Danmaku!" He launched a barrage of small energy blasts at the webs that detonated but failed to destroy them. "What are those things made of?!"

"I already told you!" Kidomaru laughed. "I am able to solidify my energy! So long as I am making contact with the webs I just keep feeding them my own energy!"

"Well if I can't get you down…" Naruto crouched, "Juden Akuma!" With an eruption of red light, Naruto rocketed into the air, towards the arachnid alien. "I'll have to come to you!"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Kidomaru laughed as Naruto delivered a powerful punch but failed to deal any damage. "My Web armour is impregnable!" He grabbed Naruto with his arms.

"Damn it," Naruto struggle but with the webs surrounding the spider-aliens arms Naruto found himself unable to overpower him.

Kidomaru only responses was start spitting out a strange white web that struck Naruto and started to solidify, trapping him in a cocoon.

"What the hell?!" Naruto struggled to move as he fell to the floor.

"Do you know how I eat my prey?" Kidomaru laughed. "First I inject you with a special poison that dissolves your insides and then I slurp everything up."

"…Fascinating," Naruto groaned as he tried to struggle out of the cocoon.

"I told you." Kidomaru laughed. "So long as I am in contact with my webs they cannot be destroyed!"

"Really…" Naruto struggled some more.

'_**Hey Naruto? Remember how your Shoten ability caused his arrows to shrink?' **_Asmodea reminded him.

'_Yeah, what of it? I can't exactly shrink the cocoon without crushing myself.' _

'_**I'd be able to patch you up again (probably) so it wouldn't really matter (at least not to me).'**_

"So…" Naruto sighed. "This is going to hurt. Shoten X2!" Naruto's crimson aura shrunk more, forming a dense layer around his body. He felt the strain as his body struggled to cope with the sudden influx of energy. The cocoon as well started to shrink and tighten around Naruto, cutting off his air and slowly crushing him. "KAI!" With a feral roar, Naruto unleashed the compressed energy, causing both his aura and the cocoon to sudden explode outwards.

"W-what?!" Kidomaru howled as he was flung backwards. "How did you… MY WEBS ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE!" HE created several arrows. "So be it! I will make a pin cushion of you!"

"Like hell you will!" Naruto declared. "Shoten! Juden Akuma!" He rocketed towards the six armed assailant who creature a bow from his energy webs, launching the arrow like a bolt from a ballista, where it struck Naruto's hardened aura courtesy of the Juden Akuma technique, cracking the armour but failing to hinder Naruto's charge. "WHO ARE YOU?"

"I am Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto roared as he punched Kidomaru into the ground, creating a crater. "And when your boss took one of my precious people, he declared war on me." Naruto growled.

"Take this!" Kidomaru spat another web cocoon at Naruto who simply side stepped it, grabbing the web after it had hardened and tugging on it, pulling the spidery minion towards him.

"No you take this!" Naruto slammed his head into the spider creatures causing him to cry out in pain as a green ichor started to seep out of his face.

"No…I won't… I WON'T LOSE TO YOU!" The furious Kidomaru charged at Naruto, covering himself in his hardened webs and carrying a web blade in each off his six arms.

"You already have!" Naruto pointed out his palm. "Akuma…" He formed a small red sphere in his palm.

"I WILL NOT FAIL MANDA-SAMA!"

"Once again," Naruto spoke calmly as the spider creature leapt at him, six web blades in each hand. "You already have! AKUMA YARI X5" The orb erupted in a blinding flash of red energy that hurt Naruto's eyes, even with them shut. When the red glare finally subsided, Naruto hesitantly opened his eyes and found that he was alone in the room.

"Where the hell are you?" Naruto looked around.

"Naruto?" Mikado stepped inside. "Are you alright?"

"Hahaha!" a thread of web wrapped around Mikado's leg and hoisted her into the air.

"MIKADO!" Naruto turned when he heard her scream.

"I'll admit…" Kidomaru was perched on a web on the ceiling, his armour distorted as if it had melted and Naruto was somewhat pleased to note that two of his six arms were hanging limply and another two were missing completely. "I wasn't expecting you to be so hard to kill."

"Here's what's going to happen," Naruto spoke calmly. "You are going to let go of her and leave her and I might not go after you to kill you or you don't and I kill you."

"Feh!" Kidomaru snorted as he held up a web blade to Mikado's throat. "An empty threat! You can't get close to me without giving me time to slit this bitch's throat!"

"You will not call her that." Naruto growled.

"Heh, you think you knows this wench? Do you know how many people have suffered because of her? I'll bet she fed you some shitty story how she was forced into to it and so on but the fact is she loved it here."

"That's not true!" Mikado protested.

"I wouldn't move too much if I were you," Kidomaru grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, the web blade pressing against her exposed throat. "I might slip in fact you know what? My entire planet was destroyed thanks to the weapons you made so I figure I should just slit your throat anyway!" He started to draw the blade only for her to vanish from view and a furious Naruto appeared in his grasp.

"Akuma Danmaku!" Naruto roared unleashing a blitz of small blasts directly at Kidomaru who howled in pain and released the blonde hero, who stopped his fall by grabbing the arachnid alien and dragging him down from his perch. "Nobody hurts my precious people. You hear me?! AKUMA JUDEN!" With a violent lurch, Naruto rocketed towards the ground, holding onto the would-be assassin and hitting the floor with a small explosion.

"Eh?" Mikado blinked and looked around as she found herself stood on the floor. "What… But… What?!" She shook her head as she tried to work out what had happened. First thing she was about to get her throat cut, next she was stood watching Naruto try and bury Kidomaru into the floor of the space ship.

"W-what?" Kidomaru coughed up blood.

"Kawarimi." Naruto stood up from the twitching Kidomaru. "Let's get out of here," Naruto turned to Mikado who nodded and ran after him towards the teleporter.

"I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE!" Kidomaru staggered to his feet. "I will kill you and that stupid whore doctor too!" He charged at Naruto who simply gathered a sphere of volatile energy. "NOW DIE!"

Naruto quickly span around, dodging the desperate lunge and slamming the rapidly rotating orb into his assailant's chest, where it proceeded to grind away at the energy armour he was wearing. "You can say what you like about me; I've been called every name under the sun and it doesn't bother me but if you insult or threaten one of my precious people…" The orb swelled in size. "That I will not stand for."

"I will make the rest of your life a living hell!" Kidomaru spat as the Rasengan started to eat into his flesh. "I will make you watch as I torture that cow!"

"No." Naruto shook his head. "You won't. Akuma Rasengan Hakai." He whispered and the red sphere erupted into a bright lance of energy, tearing through Kidomaru and leaving nothing but ashes.

"Naruto…" Mikado caught up with him. "Are you okay?"

"Hm…" Naruto mumbled.

"You did what you had to do," Mikado squeezed his shoulder. "Never forget that."

"…Thanks," Naruto smiled as they stepped onto the teleporter. "Let's go meet with Manda then get the hell home. God only knows what craziness is going on whilst I'm away."

* * *

"Toh!" There was the sound of wood splintering and a cry of pain.

"Winner: Rin Kujou!"

A loud cheer sounded in the Kendo arena as the two combatants bowed to each other before making their way off of the arena floor.

"Impressive," Saki clapped as her bodyguard walked over, casting aside the bulky helmet and eagerly accepting the bottle of water from Aya. Hanabi approached, pulling a towel from somewhere on her maid's uniform and presenting it to Rin who took it with a nod and a smile.

"Thank you Saki-sama, Aya-chan," Rin wiped the sweat from her head. "My opponent was truly skilled today."

"You've gotten a lot better recently," Saki smiled at her friend. "But you still don't seem to be enjoying Kendo quiet as much as you used to."

"Well…" Rin frowned softly. "I suppose on the run up to that Nationals match I was excited at the prospect of fighting Uzumaki-kun and finally seeing who the better fighter was. To this day part of me still wishes to face him in combat."

"Oh?" Saki's eye lit up, "So you simply wish to see how you stand against your beloved delinquent."

"Beloved delinquent?" Rin fiddled nervously. "I do not have any feelings of that sort for Uzumaki-kun."

"Uh huh." Saki shook her head. "If you didn't love him then why did it hurt you so much when you thought he had abandoned you?"

"I…" Rin bit her lip. "I do not know. But it isn't love!"

"It so is," Saki laughed. "Love makes you feel strange and light headed."

"Like when you use a high velocity sniper round and hit a branch on a tree that causes a bee hive to fall onto Naruto and then get to see him run around screaming murder." Hanabi added with a perverse blush on her face. "I sometimes play that video to help me get to sleep."

"… Well love takes many forms," Saki chuckled.

"And I love protecting the Tenjouin family name from scandal." Hanabi smiled pleasantly.

"But the fact is you clearly have feelings for this Naruto." Saki smiled. "And I can't say I blame you."

"Pardon?" Rin paused.

"Well… He is quite attractive plus despite the rumours he seems like a genuinely nice person." She rested her head in her palms.

"Well that might be the case," Rin coughed awkwardly. "But I haven't spoken to him in a good while. I have moved on from whatever emotional bond I used to share with Naruto."

"In that case," Saki stood up, "I think I'll start dating him."

"You can't!" Rin objected. "I mean… That wouldn't be wise Saki-sama."

"Oh?"

"I mean… For someone of your reputation to date someone like him… It would shame the Tenjouin name!"

"Indeed!" Hanabi nodded. "He could be your sex toy, your slave or your whipping boy but to have him as your actual boyfriend?!" Hanabi shivered. "The horror of it all."

"Please," Saki chuckled, "If the Tenjouin name can survive all the scandals my father generates I doubt me dating Naruto is going to break it."

"B-but he already has a girlfriend!" Rin protested.

"Who? The Kotegawa girl?" Saki smiled, "She has a nice figure but I can't compare to mine. Plus Naruto and I have already had a heart to heart."

"W-what?" Rin and Aya blinked.

"Yes… I was in the bath when he visited me and we… we got a lot off of our chests you could say."

"Eh?!" Rin took a deep breath. "Even so I must object to such a relationship!"

"Yeah," Hanabi nodded. "He is a scruffy delinquent who will probably amount to nothing!"

"Well…" Rin hesitated, "I wouldn't say he is that bad."

"He probably likes little girls the lolicon!" Hanabi continued. "He surrounds himself with several!"

"I'm sure Naruto has no interest in them like that." Rin tried to interrupt.

"Plus I've heard his has sex with his own mother!"

"I'm sure that is just slander!" Rin replied hotly.

"And he has a harem that carry out he debauched commands!"

"That is not true!" Rin snapped.

"To say you have no emotional investment in Naruto." Saki interrupted. "You seem to be getting awfully flustered in his defence."

"I…" Rin's eyes widened. "He is a good friend, nothing more." She bowed her head to Saki, "I shall retire to the changing rooms to get showered."

"Oh dear me," Saki sighed. "I wonder if she even realises that she has feelings for him or if she genuinely believes she doesn't. Thank you for your assistance Hanabi-chan."

"Pardon?" Hanabi blinked.

"Tricking her into defending Naruto by making up all sorts of lies about him." Saki chuckled. "A little heavy handed but it did the trick."

"But I was telling the truth," Hanabi blinked.

"She's gone now," Saki patted Hanabi on the shoulder. "Let us go and wait for Rin-chan to calm down.

"But… I wasn't lying… Those are all facts," Hanabi's eyes narrowed and she pulled out her phone. "Hello? It's me. Send pictures twelve to fifteen to all contacts on the list." She hung up. "That will teach Naruto to make Saki-sama think he is anything other than a complete pervert." She nodded sagely.

Meanwhile Rin was stood in the shower, letting the hot water run over her.

"Why did I get so angry with Hanabi?" Rin lathered the soap on her body, "Was it… Was it really because I have feelings for Naruto?" Rin bit her lip. "But he already has a girlfriend… Plus there is the whole business with his ex hanging around him all the time and they certainly don't act like they broke up. Why do I care?"

'_Well if you want my input…' _ A clear, calming feminine voice sounded in the depths of Rin's mind

"No." Rin shook her head. "You never have anything of relevance to say."

'_If you love someone you must stand by them and never sully your relationship by doing anything sexual! Love is true and pure and not to be corrupted by dark and hideous desires!' _

"So you are basically telling me to act around Naruto like I do Saki-sama? Well if I love him that is."

'_Your relationship with Saki is the definition of pure love! Two girls, sisters practically spending all their time together… If only you would kiss and cuddle whilst naked and exploring each other's bodies your love would be truly pure.'_

"Okay two things wrong with that. That sounds more like a lesbian relationship and I don't feel that way about Saki-sama. Two isn't what you described lesbian sex? I thought you said sex ruined the purity of your relationship."

'_Silly Rin. If you are sisters it isn't sex!' _

"I'm pretty sure that is incestuous sex which is probably worse." Rin zoned out the voice in her head. It never had anything useful to add to her situations and Rin knew that acknowledging it would only make people worry about her. Stepping out of the shower she wrapped herself in a towel and proceeded to dry herself. _'I wonder… What does Naruto feel about me?' _

'_Try asking him but don't come crying to me when he turns out to only want you for your body.' _

"Thanks for the advice Gabriella. You were useless as always." Rin shook her head and started to get dressed. _'I wonder if anyone else has strange voices in their head that they have to deal with?'_

* * *

'_**Go on… Take Mikado now! You might not survive this and I will never forgive you if you die without riding the Ryouko express.' **_

'_Her boobs are massive.' _Raphael added her own two cents. _'__She kind of reminds me of the school nurse in HSOTD. You should squeeze them! I bet they're like giant marshmallows!' _

'_I am not having sex with Mikado… At least not right now.' _Naruto sighed.

"This is it," Mikado stopped in front of a pair of elegant looking doors. "Behind these doors Manda will be entertaining a lot of his clients. Now what I suggest is we sneak in and find a way of getting his detonator away from him so he can't kill me. Then we flee and go back to Earth."

"I've got another plan," Naruto smiled at her, "Follow my lead."

"Eh?"

"Open sesame!" Naruto roared as he kicked open the doors before marching into what looked like a party. "Oh hey a party! Do you have a buffet here because I am starved?"

"How common!" An alien which reminded Naruto of an angler fish due to the strange glowing appendage sticking out of the centre of the creatures head.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto waved it off and walked through the centre of the party.

"Naruto!" Mikoto ran after him. "You can't just charge in here and fight him!"

"Hmm…" Naruto looked around, "It looks like it's working so far!"

"My, My!" A voice that sent shivers down Mikado's voice declared. "It appears I have a few uninvited guests. My dear doctor, I trust you are here to show me my newest acquisition."

"M-Manda." Mikado gulped. "I… You see…"

"I must admit," Manda walked around Naruto, eyeing him from every angle. "He looks a little roughed up? I'm guessing that you tested him out on Kidomaru?"

"Y-yes," Mikado prayed Naruto stayed quiet. It appeared Manda assumed that the parasite had successfully made Naruto into a docile slave.

"I see," Manda chuckled. "And how is my little spider boy?"

"D-dead." Mikado gulped.

"Truly?" Manda paused, "Hm, an inconvenience to be sure. There were plenty of other targets you could have set him on that would have been more beneficial to me but still." Manda trailed a finger along Naruto's chin. "I suppose this one is more attractive and probably more loyal that Kidomaru ever was. I'll be sure to test the limits of his loyalty tonight."

Naruto for his part was remaining silent. _'He thinks I am his slave huh? Well I'll just wait until he lowers his guard and then explain why he'd better not go after Mikado again.' _

"Er… Yes," Mikado tried to recover her composure but something about Manda always had her on her guard.

"In fact…" Manda clapped his hands. "Let's have a little test now shall we?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you get away with leaving did you?" Manda laughed. "You cost me a lot when that Darkness weapon was lost to me. But I don't want you dead… No I want you to suffer a little! Boy… Rape her."

"W-what?" Mikado stepped backwards.

"Well? I gave an order!" Manda glared at Naruto whose red aura was starting to materialise.

And then the world exploded.

* * *

Mea entered her room silently and sat down on the small dog's basket that was her bed. Manda believed as a weapon she required no comforts and as such she was given only the bare essentials. She had a small toilet and a sink to wash herself in but that was about it.

Glancing around cautiously, she reached into the dog basket and pulled out a small book. The spine of the book made it clear that it had been read many times before and the several hasty repairs to the damaged spine suggested this book was well loved. In fact it was the sole possession of Mea's as Manda had her carers destroy anything that was not vital for her operation. The only reason the book had survived is because Mea had gotten very good at hiding it.

She cautiously opened the book, the yellowed pages and faded images reflected in her eyes.

"That is an old book."

Mea quickly leapt into a defensive stance.

"At ease," A small girl with tanned skin walked towards her with amber eyes showing nothing but concern.

"Who are you?"

"My name was lost a long time ago…but you can call me Nemesis."

"Nemesis?"

"It is the name of the weapons program that made me what I am today."

"You… You are a weapon too?"

"Yes…" Nemesis smiled at Mea. "Although I am free from the chains of servitude."

"Free?"

"Yes," Nemesis sat down beside Mea, smoothing out the plain looking dress she was wearing. "We were created to be used but do we not feel? Do we not deserve a chance for happiness ourselves?"

"I…" Mea frowned. "A weapon needs no emotions or feelings. Only purpose."

"Do you really believe that?" Nemesis shook her head. "My beloved and I believe we may be weapons but we are people too. We kill as it is our purpose but we live as it is our right. We are the ultimate assassins and we are proud of that fact but we will not be mere servants. We chart our own paths through the cosmos."

"Your beloved?"

"Yes…" Nemesis shut her eyes. "We were both sent to kill each other. Weapons with no purpose other than to serve our masters' dark agenda. I was defeated but my Beloved refused to kill me. My love told me we shared the same eyes..."

"Then what?"

"We both knew so long as our masters lived we would be forced to life a boring, pointless life." Nemesis smiled at Mea. "So we removed them."

"You killed your master?"

"And now we are free!" Nemesis stood up. "Only living for ourselves. Sure we contract our skills out in order to make the money to live but we are free to pick and choose our jobs. It is our dream to unite all of the bio-weapons together and make our own family where we all know the pain of our creation and all understand each other. Where we kill the targets we want to kill and have fun the rest of the time."

"I see," Mea smiled softly. "That sounds fun."

"It truly is," Nemesis remarked. "But the only thing stopping you from achieving that freedom is Manda."

"You want me to kill him?"

"No… You want you to kill him." Nemesis smiled. "Then you will be free."

"Your beloved… Is he nice?"

"Yes, she is." Nemesis sighed.

"Are there many of us?"

"I know of at least one more…" Nemesis nodded. "But she too has been enslaved to another's will. But once she has joined our family, with her true power behind us we will be unstoppable."

"I…" Mea paused and looked at the battered book in her hands. "I understand. The main character in this book had to fight for his happiness… So must I!"

"Right!" Nemesis nodded encouragingly and the two bio-weapons left the room, Mea clutching tightly a book baring the title 'The Legend of the Gutsy Ninja'.

* * *

"Lala!" Momo beat on the reinforced door furiously. "Let us in now!"

"No!" Lala declared. "You want Yui to fly the Naru-Lala Love Frigate!"

"For crying out loud that isn't what it's called," Momo rubbed her forehead. "It is the Harem Lord's Pimpmobile!"

"Oh dear," Risa and Yui were sat watching Momo try and break into the control room.

"Is it really such a bad idea to let Lala fly the ship?" Yui asked.

"Well…" Risa shivered. "She couldn't fly the Kyuubi and the Naruto Sex Wagon is a lot bigger than the Kyuubi."

"We are not calling the frigate that!" Yui declared.

"Well what do you want to call it?" Risa asked. "Seeing as the entire crew have died and all their remains have been devoured that makes the frigate ours. Admittedly you periodically get your clothes eaten by Nano-bots but I think that is more of a selling point than a flaw."

"We could call it… Hope?" Yui suggested.

"Boring," Risa stuck her tongue out.

"How about Excalibur?" Kushina suggested.

"That is a good name," Yui agreed.

"Yeah because it's what Naruto has in his trousers."

"W-what?!" Yui went beet red.

"Hehehe," Kushina drooled. "He sure lives exploring tight places with his trusty sword in hand."

"I can think of a tight place that is in desperate need of a blonde hero and his sword." Momo smiled.

"How shameless!" Yui went bright red.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it," Momo winked at her.

"W-what?!" Yui stammered.

"Listen, from what I've seen Naruto is a very caring lover," Momo reassured Yui as she used a plasma torch to try and cut through the door. "It might hurt at first but I'm sure you'll enjoy it and before you know it you'll be begging him for a ride every day."

"That's what I'm scared of." Yui mumbled.

"EH?"

"I pride myself on my morals." Yui fiddled nervously. "I mean… I am already dating a man who has several lovers… What if… What if I become a shameless girl?"

"Yui-chan," Kushina hugged the girl. "You'll never be shameless."

"R-really?"

"Despite our best efforts," Risa joked.

"I… I never really had many friends," Yui admitted. "It… It is kind of nice having so many people to support me."

"Don't worry." Momo smiled warmly. "I'd be more than willing to help you maintain your balance if Naruto tries out some more exotic sex positions on you."

"Momo!" Yui blushed. "T-to say such things without hesitation."

"What?" Momo laughed. "I'm a berserker. We know what we want and we take it. What I want is for everyone to be happy: Naruto, Onee-sama, Nee-chan, Risa, Kushina and you. Seeing all you happy is what I want and I will do anything to fulfil it. Besides when Naruto is sufficiently well trained I intend for him to completely blow my mind."

"You know…" Yui smiled softly, "We almost had a bonding moment."

"Hey if you want to bond have a threesome with Naruto," Risa rolled her eyes. "We still have to save him you know?"

"The ship is currently warping to where it was when Naruto was on board. Even Onee-sama can't mess that up so all we have to do is get inside and let Yui-chan pilot this ship to wherever Naruto is." Momo shrugged.

"But I only just know how to fly the Kyuubi…" Yui blinked.

"Don't worry most ships have similar controls and most of the movement is controlled by computers so you'll be fine… Probably." Momo threw aside the burnt out plasma torch. "What is this door made of? No-Key.A Isomer 33 patent 10?"

"Warning… Warning… Ship Drive Miscalculation."

"…I guess Onee-sama can cause accidents even when the ship is in auto pilot." Momo sighed.

"Re-entering Real Space… Obstruction detected!"

"Hold on tight!" Momo yelled.

* * *

Space travel is usually long and tedious, with a journey to a neighbouring planet taking up to a year to complete so it was with great relief that a Devilukian Scientist accidentally invented the Unreal Space Drive. In a nut shell what the Unreal drive does is creates a small pocket on non-reality around the ship where the normal laws of Physics don't apply. This Subspace or Unreal space allows ships to travel faster than light and come to a complete stop without any ill effects and was heralded as the greatest invention in Devilukian history… although the scientist in question had just been trying to build a really fast oven and viewed it as a failure. The Devilukians may have been free to explore all corners of the galaxy but they would never know the joys of a microwave oven until they smuggled some off of Earth.

Usually the ship would arrive at its destination and suddenly reappear in reality after running all of the checks to ensure there was no obstructions at the sight of appearance. Unfortunately Lala happened to be the pilot and this system had failed so the Harem Lord's Pimpmobile materialised right in front of Manda's dreadnaught and proceeded to crash into it.

* * *

"W-what?" Naruto staggered to his feet. One moment he had been about to attack Manda the next everything was exploding. He vaguely remembered pushing Mikado out of the way of a red hot metal frame but then could only remember pain and blacking out. He started trying to clear the ringing from his ears but as he tried to clear the left ear with his little finger he noticed something odd. "Oh…" Naruto glanced at his left hand. "That's unfortunate. I expect I am in a lot of pain right now. I probably would need those fingers."

'_**Yeah but don't worry your berserker's trance should keep you safe. It is also responsible for your relatively calm state right now." ' **_

'_My what?'_

'_**Berserker's trance. Basically your brain is ignoring all pain and pleasure senses so you won't feel the extent of your injuries until the trance ends.' **_

"Naruto!" Mikado ran up to him. "I've got the fingers from your hand. If we are quick I think I can re-attach it."

"You've got a bruise on your head." Naruto used his other hand to gently stroke her injury. "Are you alright?"

"You are missing parts of a hand and you ask me if I am okay?" Mikado blinked.

"Well are you?"

"… You're an idiot," Mikado smiled softly.

"Where's Manda?" Naruto looked around. "You think that ship wasted him?"

"I think your hand is a greater priority." Mikado glanced at Naruto's wound.

"You… You bitch!" Manda snarled as he pushed several dead bodies off of him and staggered to his feet before slowly advancing on Naruto and Mikado, "I was willing to let you live after you betrayed me once but this… This is too far!"

"You think we are responsible for that?" Naruto gestured before realising he was trying to point with a missing finger. "The ship that is?"

"Even if you aren't," Manda glared at Mikado, "You planned to pretend that this boy was a slave and have him kill me when I lowered my guard! Well I have had enough of your treachery!" He pulled a remote from his belt and pressed the button. "Maybe detonating that bomb on your udders will make future scientists more willing to co-operate."

"No!" Naruto snatched the remote. "How do I stop it?!"

"It's okay… This is what I deserve." Mikado laughed sadly. "I've just one thing to say… Naruto… You a great person and I really care for you so don't let this get you down."

"Fuck that!" Naruto spat. "Turn it off now!" He roared at Manda.

"Five, four," Manda started counting down laughing hysterically.

"Shit!" Naruto closed his eyes. "This is going to hurt both of us!"

"Two, one…"

"Kawarimi!" Naruto yelled. What happened next seemed to occur in slow motion.

"Eh?" Mikado blinked as the remote Naruto was holding fell off of her breasts just in time for her to look at Naruto and see the bomb latched onto his hand already missing a few fingers. His entire body shrouded in his red aura.

Manda had started to run away, pushing his way through the dead and dying party guests.

Then the bomb detonated.

'_Huh…" _Naruto thought as he was thrown through the air. _'I expected that to hurt. Berserker Trance?' _

'_**Yeah. You're going to feel that in the morning.' **_

'_I can't feel my left arm.' _

'_**There's a reason for that.'**_

"Naruto!" Mikado checked his vitals. "You've lost a lot of blood!"

"I'll be fine," Naruto struggled to his feet. "I'll just…" He noticed the lack of an arm. "Well I never used that arm much anyway. Don't worry! I can heal that!"

"Are you serious?!"

"Sure!" Naruto staggered and summoned two clones, using what little Arcangus energy he could scrap together as well as the precious little Damus energy he had left after shielding himself from the bomb.

"You called us Master," Tenshi bowed his head.

"Wow, you got messed up," Akuma mocked. "You lost a… Oh crap! We've lost an arm!"

"That is inconvenient." Tenshi noticed he too was missing a limb.

"Time to use or fusion guys!" Naruto giggled. "Fenikkusu no Fukkatsu."

"…You're going to regret this." Akuma shook his head as the two clones dispersed themselves, causing the mixture of Damus and Arcangus energy to enter Naruto.

"GARGH!" Naruto roared in pain as the purple aura started to surge around him. There was the usual intense pain in every cell in his body including in the missing arm as it slowly and painfully regenerated. Naruto bore with the pain until he could cope no more and he passed out.

"Well…" Mikado caught him before he fell. "…You definitely managed to regenerate your arm." She sighed. "But don't ever make me worry like that." She placed a soft kiss on Naruto's forehead. "If something happened to you I don't know what I'd do…"

"We are here to save…" Lala froze on exiting the ship. "N-Naruto?!"

"What…" Momo followed her sister out. "Oh no…"

"We need to get him onto the ship now! Does it still fly?"

"Er… Yes…" Lala blinked as Mikado carried Naruto aboard the frigate. "Who… Who did that to Naruto?"

"It was Manda the crime boss," Mikado called as she carried Naruto onto the ship.

"I see…" Lala nodded slowly. "I feel like exploring this ship."

"Indeed," Momo narrowed her eyes. "I feel a similar desire."

"Then let's go for a stroll." Lala walked amongst the wounded, Momo following her closely. "And pay our respects to this Manda."

"As princesses it is our duty," Momo agreed.

"Indeed," Lala nodded. "I am Lala Satalin Deviluke and mine is the Seal of Satalin."

"And I am Momo Velia Deviluke and mine is the seal of Velia."

The two princesses transformed in an explosion of red energy.

"**Those who damage my property must be taught respect." **Satalin-Lala growled.

"**I'll bet he makes such glorious screams as he dies ever so slowly." **Velia-Momo chuckled darkly and set off after the fleeing snake.

"MEA!" Manda roared as he limped through the corridor to his escape pod.

"Master." Mea stepped from the shadows.

"Where were you when that ship struck?! You are supposed to protect me! You are worthless! At least validate your existence by stalling the two princesses after me."

"No." Mea smiled cheerfully.

"W-what?!" He went to strike her but she caught his hand. "You dare? When I took you in you were abandoned by the Bio-weapons project and would have been destroyed by Gid! Your life is mine to own."

"No…" Mea shook her head. "My life is my own now. Master Nemesis has shown me the light."

"Nemesis?" Manda scowled.

"I'm sorry," Mea smiled cheerfully. "But you don't have a place in my happy ending."

"You wouldn't…" Manda never got to finish as Mea transformed her arm into a blade and decapitated the snake.

"Well done sister," Nemesis appeared from behind her. "You have broken your chains."

"I feel… free." Mea smiled.

"Now come," Nemesis held out her hand, "My beloved is eager to meet you but first I have some business to attend to."

"Hai," Mea smiled cheerfully and the two assassins left as if they were never there.

"**I dislike my pray being stolen," **Satalin-Lala growled. **"But it would seem that nothing can be done. My property requires my attention." **

"**I guess I'll have to find other ways to entertain myself." **She licked her lips. **"I'm sure Naruto-chan can think of something to entertain me." **The two princesses released the Damus seals and made their way back to the ship.

* * *

"So this is Naruto Uzumaki?" Nemesis walked across the med bay of the Harem Lord's Pimpmobile towards the unconscious blonde. "My, oh my." She clambered onto his bed and sat straddling his chest. "You are actually kind of cute. With your power my family would definitely be secure… It is a shame I have to kill you." A strand of hair turned into a blade. "It's nothing personal… Well not for me anyway but you have caused my beloved so much harm." She tutted. "And I really can't be having that." She was about to attack when she found a blade against her own throat.

"He is my target," Yami warned.

"Is that… The Golden Darkness," Nemesis smiled. "Truly fortune favours me today. Another one of my sisters found."

"Sister?"

"We are the same," Nemesis pushed the blade from her throat and swivelled around on Naruto's chest. "We were both weapons made to kill… Mistreated by our masters."

"I was never mistreated." Yami stated.

"OH? The wild goose chases to find your missing family don't count?" Nemesis smiled as Yami flinched. "Inside you there is great power… You could use it to free yourself from your chains."

"My chains?"

"You follow Lapasco's orders and are chained to his will."

"I do not follow his orders anymore."

"What?" Nemesis brightened. "So you have already broken your chains? Then there is nothing stopping you from joining us. I just have to kill this boy then…"

"He is my target," Yami repeated. "I decide when he dies."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Nemesis clambered off of Naruto. "He is helpless."

"I decide when he dies," Yami repeated bluntly. "That day is not today."

"You pick your own targets but don't kill them?" Nemesis looked confused. "You are a strange assassin."

"I…" Yami frowned. "I am not an assassin anymore."

"W-what?" Nemesis blinked. _'That is problematic… Something has turned her from the way that she should be.' _

"You are a threat," Yami intoned as her hair turned into several blades.

"Tch," Nemesis narrowed her eyes. "You will join my family in time. Only we can understand you and help you. Soon you will realise that when you're new friends show their true colours and you realise just how alone you truly are."

Yami decided against pursuing the fleeing assassin and instead look at Naruto's happily sleeping face.

"Am I alone?" She wondered aloud before retreating to the shadows. _'Maybe I should ask Mikan…' _

* * *

"Well… This is interesting." Naruto cleared his throat. "Now care to explain what is going on?" He had awoken to find himself in a strange room littered with various hi tech looking devices.

"Welcome back to the land of the living. You are in my new lab that Lala built for me so I could live at your house. I only wish that she'd given me more time to get my things out of it before accidentally crashing the Kyuubi into it." Mikado smiled as she walked up to him, wearing a closed lab coat and carrying a clipboard.

"It was an accident!" Naruto turned over to see Lala wearing a very tight and short nurse's outfit pouting slightly.

"I'm sure it was." Mikado's smile never slipped, "Now Naruto… I don't know what you did to regenerate your arm but it had severe repercussions. Could you pass me the chart Nurse Lala?"

"Hai!" Lala beamed and walked over to a desk. "Where are they?"

"On the bottom shelf."

"Okay!" Lala bent over giving Naruto a good luck at her underwear.

'_She's wearing her sexy black pair?' _Naruto thought to himself.

"Ecchi."

"Eh?!" Naruto turned to see as disapproving Yami wearing a black nurse's outfit.

"Oh my! Is the patient being naughty?" Mikado laughed.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Naruto asked Yami. "I didn't take you as one to play dress up."

"Play dress up?" Yami frowned. "This is the correct attire for being a nurse correct?"

"Well yes but the dress isn't usually so short." Naruto admitted.

"I see…" Yami turned a strand of hair into a blade. "It appears Momo-san lied to me."

"Well Yami-chan looks cute in it anyway," Naruto laughed.

"Cute?" Yami scowled. "I am a weapon. Weapons are not cute."

"Tch," Naruto ruffled her hair. "You're not a weapon Yami. You're a member of my family."

"I see." Yami stared off into space. "What is family?"

"Family?" Naruto scratched his chin, "It is a group of people who look out for each other. We protect each other in our times of weakness and offer support when it is needed."

"And I am a part of yours?" Yami asked.

"Of course," Naruto nodded. "You are one of my precious people."

'_I can't let one of my precious people die that easily!' _A cheerful voice echoed in Yami's head. _'Family help each other out in their times of weakness.' _

"I… I see…" Yami stared at Naruto before leaving. "I have much to think about."

"Is she alright?" Naruto asked Mikado.

"Physically she's fine." Mikado smiled. "I think she blames herself for not being there when you were kidnapped."

"I see," Naruto started to get up until Lala pushed him back down.

"The patient has to wait until the doctor has cleared him for release before getting up!" Lala wagged a finger at him whilst she leant forward with a hand on her hips, making Naruto curse whatever material her dress was made of for not tearing despite how stretched it was right now.

"Right," Mikado stepped up to Naruto. "Now can you tell me if you feel this?" She softly massaged his freshly regrown arm.

"Yes."

"How about this?" She unbuttoned her lab coat to reveal she was wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and panties under the coat.

"W-what?" Naruto looked away with a faint blush as he felt her envelop his arm in her breasts. "Y-yes I do."

"Well that completes the basic sensation tests." Mikado took Naruto's hand. "Now for the advanced one. Do you feel this?" She pricked his finger tip with a needle.

"Ouch!" Naruto flinched.

"That seems fine… Now let's do a basic motor control exercise." Mikado glanced at Lala who nodded. "Here we go."

"What do you…?" Naruto froze as Mikado placed his hand underneath her bra and cupping her right breast. "M-Mikado-sensei!" He squeaked.

"Oh it isn't the first pair you've fondled!" Lala patted him on the back.

"Lala?!" Naruto went crimson.

"Aww…" Mikado chuckled. "Is lil' Naruto shy?"

"I really don't get what's going on here," Naruto grumbled.

"We are testing your ability to use your new hand." Mikado winked. "Now I want you to massage my breast."

"Eh?"

"Doctor's orders!" Lala beamed at him.

"I don't get why you are so keen on this," Naruto glanced at Lala as he began to gently massage Mikado's breast, much to the busty nurse's delight.

"Because," Lala leaned on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. "You want her. Don't be ashamed of your desires. It was those desires that blessed us with a child."

"Lala?"

"I don't want you to live a life where you are suppressing your feelings for people." Lala nibbled on his ear. "I want you to feel free to love everyone."

"Lala…" Naruto kissed her softly on the lips.

"W-well…" Mikado cleared her throat. "I think that this test is… ah… an overwhelming success. Now for the last set of tests."

"Oh?"

"I'll be needing a sperm sample whilst you are using your Damus aura."

"Er… why?"

"Look at this…" Mikoto gestured in the air and a holographic display appeared showing a severed arm. "This is the arm that you lost on Manda's ship. This is the DNA analysis I performed on it."

"Why?" Naruto blinked. "I'm pretty sure it will just tell you that it was my arm."

"Yes but I noticed something." Mikado smiled. "It's DNA doesn't match yours completely."

"Eh?"

"The DNA would match yours if you were unsealed."

"Come again?"

"Basically if you are using your Damus aura and you lose a limb, the energy allows the DNA in the severed limb to revert to your true half-blood form."

"Are we going to get to the bit where you need my sperm?"

"If it works for limbs it might work for sperm. If you have sex with the Damus aura maybe your sperm become devilukian as you ejaculate. It would explain how you got Lala pregnant whilst sealed! Your unsealed release could survive for months in Lala's womb, plenty of time for it to wait for the effects of your seal to wear off! So…" Mikado grinned. "Had sex using your aura?"

"W-well…."

_Naruto's Memory _

"Argh!" Naruto roared as he tore his way through a tank in the simulation room. "This power… It's amazing!"

"Oh?" Lala, wearing her lab coat with a cardigan and jeans walked into the simulation room as the tank disappeared and the simulation ended. "Is that the power you had to use to fight Papa when he held Yui-chan hostage?"

"Oh hi Lala…" Naruto blinked as he took in her figure and a burning desire filled him. "Say Lala…" Naruto walked over to her.

"Yes?" She glanced at him.

"Those clothes look like they are too tight for you."

"They do?" Lala blinked.

"Let me help you with that." Naruto growled in her ear as he tore the clothes from her.

"Kyaa!" Lala screamed ecstatically. "I'm going to be ravaged! Oh no!"

"Ah… Sorry…" Naruto shook himself. "I don't know what came over me…"

"Listen Naruto." Lala grabbed him by the collar. "You are going to finish what you started okay?"

"In that case." Naruto smiled. "These clothes are awfully uncomfortable…"

"I know a remedy for that," Lala smiled seductively.

_End Naruto's Memory _

"Well maybe once…" Naruto admitted.

_Lala's Memory_

"SHOTEN!" Naruto grinned as his aura condensed around him. "I feel great! A little bit of an ache in my muscles but besides that…" He started flexing as he got used to the new level of power.

"Oh training again?" Lala walked in wearing a lab coat and nothing else. "I'll just be over here… Doing something scientific."

"I have a scientific enquiry I need your help with," Naruto growled as he walked over to Lala encased in the red aura.

"Oh?" Lala glanced at him with a pen in her mouth.

"How is it possible for you to be so damn sexy," He growled lustfully as he tore her lab coat off of her."

"Oh no!" Lala gasped. "I'm going to be ravaged again!"

"Oh…" Naruto shook himself. "I'm sorry I don't know what came over me and…" He was silenced by Lala pouncing on him and straddling his waist.

"The only defence against a serial Ravager is to pre-emptively ravage him!" Lala declared as she tore Naruto's clothes off his body.

_End Lala's Memory_

"Well maybe more than once," Lala beamed.

_Momo's Memory_

"Akuma Rasengan… CRAP!" Naruto cursed as the attack destabilised and exploded into a large energy blast. "I can't quite keep the attack stable!"

"Oh? More Training with your Damus aura?" Lala walked into the simulation area naked.

"…Why are you naked?"

"Well I'm running short on lab coats…" Lala posed sexily.

"I have the side effects of the Damus aura under control. I am not going to tear your clothes off and ravish you."

"Oh…" Lala's shoulders slumped slightly as she put on a lab coat and got to work.

"Hey Lala?"

"Yes?"

"I lied." He grabbed her lab coat and tore it off.

"Kyaah! My last lab coat. I'll have to be naked in here now!"

"I can live with that."

"Kyaah!" Lala happily screamed as Naruto advanced on her.

_End Momo's Memory _

"Ah fun times!" Momo's voice sounded over an intercom.

"Momo?!" Naruto looked around.

"I'm just overseeing the medical procedure!"

"Right…" Naruto frowned slightly. "So you need a sperm sample from me whilst under the influence of my aura. So do I get giving a jar or something?"

"Don't worry about that." Mikoto tossed aside her lab coat revealing her curvy figure.

"Leave it to the experts!" Lala cast aside her nurse's gown to reveal her lingerie that had Naruto's blood pumping.

"Er… I can do it myself…" Naruto laughed awkwardly.

"Doctor's orders are you lie back and enjoy." The two girls advanced on him. "Think of it as a thank you for saving me."

"You don't have to thank me this way."

"I know," Mikado smiled. "But I really, really want to. Nurse… Let's begin the operation!"

"Hai!" Lala beamed.

* * *

"Is he going to be okay?" Yui asked as she stood outside Mikado's room.

"Oh god!" Mikado's cry of ecstasy was clearly heard by the girls all waiting.

"…I think that's a yes," Risa sighed fondly. "I remember the first time I had with Naruto."

"W-what?" Yui blinked, "You mean whilst we are here worrying he is in there…"

"With Lala and Mikado," Kushina nodded. "They asked me if I wanted in but I'm not a big fan of sharing Naruto during sex."

"Huh," Momo glanced at Kushina, "I would have thought that sort of kinkiness would be right up your street."

"I am not a pervert I am a Naruto-con." Kushina gave the peace sign.

"I wonder…" Yui blushed hearing Mikado's moans. "If my time with Naruto will be that good."

"Probably better," Momo smiled. "Though if you want something to help you prepare…" She handed her a small screen.

"What is…? OH MY GOD!" Yui went bright red. "T-this is…"

"Yup." Momo nodded.

"And they are…"

"Yup."

"W-w-why would you give this to me?!" Yui flailed her arms comically.

"Well," Momo rubbed her chin. "Because I figured if you got to see Naruto in action you might be less hesitant to admit you want him inside you too."

"M-Momo!" Yui fled with a blush on her face.

"Wow, real subtle there," Kushina crossed her arms. "Look we all know Yui-chan wants to go the next level but brute force isn't the option here."

"Oh really?" Momo grinned as she watched Yui leave the house. "Because I can't help but notice that she took the screen with her."

* * *

Extra Info!

**Attack Name:** Akuma Yari [Evolved]  
**Power Level:** 20 (Can be charged up to 5X at present)  
**Alignment: **Damus Only – Basic Energy Attack  
**Translation:** Devil Spear  
**Formerly Known As:** Crimson Cannon  
**Description  
**Naruto's mastery of this attack allows him to charge it up to much higher levels now as well as increasing its base damage. As more of his devilukian DNA is active, the attack has a more corrosive effect, making it extremely effective against armoured targets.

**Attack Name:** Berserker Trance  
**Power Level:** Increases base power by 15%  
**Alignment: **Devilukian Berserker  
**Translation:** N/A  
**Description  
**Due to their original purpose as Damus shock troops, Devilukian berserkers were created to be able to ignore even the most crippling injury to finish their mission. Even now this trait still exists in Delta class berserkers, who are said to be closest to the original devilukian created in the Damus-Arcangus Wars.

**Attack Name:** Fenikkusu no Fukkatsu.  
**Power Level:** 200  
**Alignment: ** Imperfect Combined Aura  
**Translation:** Phoenix Rebirth  
**Description:  
**By harnessing the potency of combined Arcangus and Damus energy, Naruto is able to completely regenerate every cell in his body allowing the regrowth of limbs. The energy cost and the fact it relies on the impure combined energy means Naruto cannot fight after using it (either he passes out or the impure energy interferes with his ability to use his two combat capable auras).

* * *

**LEMON PART OF THE STORY STARTS HERE - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED IN CAPITALS AND BOLD. THAT'S LIKE DEFCON 5 ALL UP IN THIS **

**Lemon: Doctor's Orders**

"Right…" Naruto frowned slightly. "So you need a sperm sample from me whilst under the influence of my aura. So do I get giving a jar or something?"

"Don't worry about that." Mikoto tossed aside her lab coat revealing her curvy figure.

"Leave it to the experts!" Lala cast aside her nurse's gown to reveal her lingerie that had Naruto's blood pumping.

"Er… I can do it myself…" Naruto laughed awkwardly.

"Doctor's orders are you lie back and enjoy." The two girls advanced on him. "Think of it as a thank you for saving me."

"You don't have to thank me this way."

"I know," Mikado smiled. "But I really, really want to. Nurse… Let's begin the operation!"

"Hai!" Lala beamed. "First we need to get you to use your aura."

"If I use it in these situations I might lose control," Naruto pointed out. "You of all people know how easy it is for me to give in to my base instincts using the Damus aura. _'Plus there is the whole I might get my soul eaten by Asmodea's corrupted version of me or something.' _

'_**Hey she is just as much your corruption as she is mine. Besides you'll be fine. If the corruption has only just formed it would take decades to fully mature.' **_

"I am fully prepared for that instance," Mikado smiled. "I have taken contraceptive tablets and I don't think this one really needs to worry about that. Besides," Mikado smiled seductively. "I kind of want you to lose control."

'_In that case…' _Naruto felt a heat sweep through his body as he activated his aura. He could smell Lala's excitement as well as a sweat musky smell coming from Mikado. "You asked for it." He started to get up until Lala put a hand on him to stop him.

"Let us do the work this time," Lala smiled.

"I'm not going to let you do all the hard work," Naruto grinned and started to get off the bed until Lala stopped him with a kiss, her tongue easily breaking his half-hearted resistance. Naruto cupped her chin as the kiss deepened, Lala's muffled moans of pleasure serving to spur Naruto on.

"My, my," Mikado started to undo his belt. "It looks like we have some localised swelling that needs taking care of." She removed his trousers and started to massage Naruto's swelling member through his boxers.

"Gah," Naruto gasped from the sensations before Lala quickly reclaimed his mouth again, their tongues duelling for supremacy as Naruto's right hand started to unhook Lala's bra, causing her impressive assets to be revealed. "I never get tired of seeing you naked," Naruto growled into Lala's ear as he started to play with her breasts, his right hand gently massaging her breast and teasing her nipple, earning gasps from the devilukian princess.

"Naruto…" Lala moaned before capturing Naruto's lips in another deep kiss.

"This smell…" Mikado inhaled deeply around his erect cock as it struggled to break free from the boxes. "It… It is almost addictive…" She grabbed his boxers. "Let's take a look at the problem shall we?" She pulled the boxers off and froze and Naruto Junior stood to attention. "Oh… Oh my." Mikado blinked. "That looks painful," She took it in her hand and began slowly pumping. "It's so warm." She whispered as she started to massage his testicles with her other hand. "I can tell I am going to get quite a… satisfying sample." She licked her lips eagerly.

"Mikado… That feels so good."

"Oh I'm glad." The nurse started to tease his tip with her tongue. "So this is what precum tastes like? I can't wait for the main meal." With a coy wink she took the tip of Naruto's sword into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue as her hands continued their work.

"Where did you learn this?" Naruto groaned.

"If you've time to ask questions you've time to kiss me," Lala growled possessively as she reclaimed his lips, biting his bottom one slightly before continuing her assault on his tonsils.

Naruto merely moaned into Lala's mouth, his right hand trailing down her body to her soaked panties, slipping inside and teasing Lala's lower lips.

"Gah," Lala gasped as she felt Naruto teasing her. "Please…" She gasped, eyes lidded with lust. "No teasing."

"As you wish my empress," Naruto growled into her ear as his fingers penetrated her sacred spot with an audible slurping noise. "My, my… You really wanted this didn't you? You are absolutely soaked."

"So, so much," Lala groaned as Naruto probed her weak spots, "Gah… It's been… too long…" She panted as she started to move her hips. "I… aww…" Her inner walls clenched around Naruto's fingers as she climaxed and fell to her knees. "No… fair…" Lala panted. "You know all my weak spots. I wanted to make you feel good."

"I think I know a way you can help," Mikado winked as she removed her own bra.

"Oh!" Lala brightened up. "A dual effort?" The two girls pushed their breasts around Naruto's twitching penis and started to pleasure Naruto.

"W-what?" Naruto gasped as he felt the warmth and softness of the two girls' breasts envelop his sacred sword. "T-that… Argh…" Naruto found his words failing as the two girls increased their pace.

"Oh my," Mikado licked the tip of Naruto's cock, "I think someone is enjoying themselves."

"It's twitching so cutely," Lala agreed as she joined Mikado in gently teasing Naruto's overstimulated member.

"Girl's… I can't…" Naruto started thrusting his hips, "I can't last much longer…"

"Don't fight it… release it," Mikado urged him.

"We want it Naruto," Lala purred sexily. "We want you to paint us with your seed. To mark us as yours."

"Gargh…" Lala's words spoke straight to the devilukian hunger driving him and with a fierce grunt he climaxed, his penis twitching as it launched a spray of white seed with splashed onto the girl's breasts and faces.

"Oh no!" Mikado pouted. "It looks like this sample is contaminated." She wiped her face clean with her fingers then sucked them dry.

"Ehehehe…" Lala rubbed Naruto's sperm into her body. "It's like his scent is penetrating me. I smell of Naruto!" She hugged herself happily.

"But it looks like someone is still not satisfied." Mikado took as much of Naruto's impressive length into her mouth as she could before bobbing her head up and down.

"Lay back," Lala straddled Naruto's face and spread her lower lips with her fingers. "Please... I need to feel you inside of me."

"With pleasure," Naruto's tongue traced her moist opening before delving deep inside of her, earning mewls of pleasure as he attacked Lala's weak spots.

"Naruto!" Lala gasped in pleasure as she rocked her hips. "I love you! I love you, love you, love you, love you!"

"I love you too… You, Mikado and all the other girls. I love you and I need you!" He lightly teased her clit with his tongue and used his fingers to attack all of her most sensitive areas, triggering a shudder of pleasure through her entire body as his mind started to go foggy with the pleasure.

"Naruto! I need you too!" Lala gasped joyfully. "I'm going to crazy!"

"You need me?" Mikado sounded happy. "Well then I guess a good boy who is honest about his feelings deserves a reward." Naruto gasped Mikado started increasing her pace and taking him deeper into her mouth, the erotic noises of her sucking and licking his cock were a perverse melody to his ears. He grunted as he felt his release coming. "I can't hold back!"

"Naruto!" Lala climaxed, her love juices coating his face as he too came, Mikado greedily gulping down his release before releasing his cock and noisily licking her lips.

"Amazing…" Mikado slurred, her eyes half-lidded with lust. "I can feel you warmth in my stomach."

"Gah…" Lala rolled over lying beside him. "Can't… think..."

"Lala," Naruto kissed her softly. "It looks like you lost another sample." He looked at Mikado. "I'm starting to wonder if you are doing that on purpose." He smirked.

"Silly me…" Mikado grinned as Naruto grabbed her hands and pulled her on top of him. "Oh my… You really are an animal when Damus powered." Mikado leaned closer to him. "Mikado like. Now about you show me just what you can do with that dangerous weapon of yours." She purred into his ear as she started to grind against his still hard member, leaving it glistening with her love juices.

"I…" Naruto grabbed her waist to stop her from continuing. "If you continue I will not be able to stop myself."

"Naruto…" Mikado smiled softly at him. "I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Naruto positioned himself at her secret entrance before thrusting deep inside her, her inner walls parting to his length and gripping it so tightly Naruto almost orgasmed. They both stayed still to get used to the sensation, Mikado sat atop of Naruto's crotch as he laid back on the bed, a still orgasm-drunk Lala laid beside him staring off into space.

"Ah…" Mikado gasped as she felt him stretch her insides. "That… That is totally different to when…"

"To when?" Naruto started to massage her breasts whilst Mikado got used to having him inside her.

"Well… There was a lot of pent of frustration when I was locked in Manda's lab the first time."

"Eh?"

"And well…" Mikado looked awkward. "Luna and I we may have… experimented a little."

"Oh," Naruto smirked. "So you play for both sides?"

"No…" Mikado shook her head. "We both agreed it didn't feel right so that ended my brief foray into homosexuality."

"That's a relief." Naruto started to rotate his hips, grinding against Mikado's inner walls whilst gently massaging her breasts as she sat atop him. "With all the pretty girls around me I'd be worried that they might steal you away."

"Ah!" Mikado moaned as Naruto's gentle ministrations sent a shudder of pleasure through her body. "I… That is… impossible." Mikado gasped. "They all love you dearly."

"I know…" Naruto smiled. "And I want to make them feel as good as they make me feel."

"You're going the right way about it," Mikado smiled.

"Glad to hear it," Naruto lifted Mikado by the waist until only his tip was inside of her before slamming her back down, the slapping noise of their sex drowned out by Mikado's shocked cry of pleasure.

"Give… Give me some warning next time." Mikado gasped.

"Hmm… No." Naruto started to thrust his hips, forcing himself deeper inside her whilst Mikado rocked up and down, her breasts bouncing in time to their love making. "More…" He growled and lifted Mikado's legs so she laid down and he was kneeled in front of her. "I want more." He increased his pace, the red mist of the lust now clouding his every thought. All he wanted was to hear the obscene sounds of his cock ravaging her womanhood, Mikado's orgasmic moans and his own growls of pleasure.

Mikado felt her mind going blank at the sensory overload as Naruto continuously thrust into her deepest parts, somehow hitting every weak spot and causing pleasure the likes the Mikado had never even considered possible. Her face showed how far gone she was, her distant eyes and lolling tongue made it perfectly clear that there was only one thing that she was thinking about right now and it wasn't the analysis of Naruto's sperm sample.

"Going… cwazy…" Mikado slurred.

"Almost there!" Naruto growled.

"My womb… you're going to break it…" Mikado gasped. "I… I…"

"Mikado…"

"Naruto!" Mikado arched her back as they climaxed. "OH MY GOD!" She yelled as her entire body felt like every single nerve ending was screaming out in pleasure. She felt his seed filling her completely and could have sworn her stomach seemed to swell a little at all of the cum in side of her. "I… I…"

"Mikado…" Naruto bit her neck gently as he pulled out of her. "Is that enough of a sample for you?"

"It's… too… contaminated…" Mikado gasped.

"I guess we'll have to get another sample then."

"Er… Give me… A few… hours…"

"Don't worry!" Lala declared as she licked his member clean. "I am always here for you…" She slid Naruto inside of her and kissed him softly on the lips.

"You're… something else…" Mikado shook her head.

"Isn't he?!" Lala cried out in pleasure as Naruto started to bounce Lala up and down on his lap whilst sucking on her breasts.

It would take four hours but Mikado eventually got the sample she wanted, Lala was satisfied, Naruto was practically comatose and Momo had actually sprained her wrist severely but in her own words 'It was totally worth it.'


	24. Chapter 24: Party Hardy

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello Everybody! Drake Wilson is back from the dead! More or less.

Sorry about the delay on this chapter. Hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

Chapter 24: Party Hardy

Naruto stepped forward, scowling through the faint red mist that swirled around him. In front of him lay his enemies, broken by his might. Behind him, his allies kneeled in fear and awe of his power. He wore only tattered trousers, his muscular chest displayed to the world.

"What is this?" He murmured to himself.

"**This is how it should be.' **The red mist started to solidify until he found himself staring into the red slitted eyes of the corruption of his soul. "**You enemies reduced to cinders for daring to stand between you and what you want. Your allies' loyalty ensured by their fear of you." **

"This is not what I want," Naruto scowled at her.

"**Is it not Papa?" **She slowly walked towards him. "**Is this not everything you ever wanted? To be respected and to live a life where no-one dare even look at your precious people in the wrong way?" **

"Not… Not like this," Naruto gestured. "How is this any different to how Gid rules?"

"**Then look me in my eyes and tell me that you didn't enjoy killing that spider creature." **

"He… He threatened Mikado. If I was given a second chance I would still make the same call." Naruto shook his head, "But I did not enjoy it."

"**You cannot lie to me Papa," **The corruption trailed a finger down his chest. **"Part of you wanted him to suffer. You wanted him to do something that gave you an excuse to kill him." **

"That…" Naruto closed his eyes.

"**You wanted a reason to kill him so you could argue that it was the right thing to do, that there was no other way." **The Corruption laughed, "**How sad you are Papa. To deny who you really are and rely on flimsy excuses to justify your actions. Tell me Papa, what is your excuse for laying with all the women you do?" **

"I… This and that are two different things!" Naruto hotly growled.

"**Are they really?" **The Corruption shook her head. "**Have you not sired a child from your berserker's desire to mate continuously? You claim it to be a side effect of using your power but you know that's not the case. Those desires aren't born of your power but of your soul. You want to sleep with them all anyway! The power that you blame merely strips away your illusions… your fake convictions." **

"I know what you are," Naruto snarled. "You merely seek to cause me to fall so you can replace me!"

"**Papa… If I wanted to replace you would I not attack you?" **The Corruption shook her head sadly. "**I just hate seeing you suffer fighting your true nature. Be the force of nature you should be and abandon your foolish delusions of humanity. You are not one of them, stop acting like you are or you will end up getting yourself killed." **

"I'm done here," Naruto declared. "This is nothing more than a dream."

"**Very well… If Papa wishes to continue with his games," **The Corruption faded away into the red mist. **"I suggest he do something about the stranger playing with his seal." **

"W-what?" Naruto blinked.

* * *

"W-what?" Naruto's eyes shot open and he saw a familiar mint coloured hairstyle as Fu stared intently as his bare chest.

"Huh?" Fu looked up. "Hi Naru-chan XD"

"Fu?!" Naruto struggled to get up but the sleeping Lala and Kushina had him pinned.

"Fu was just paying a visit seeing as lil' Naru-chan got himself kidnapped. Tut, tut." She wagged a finger in his face. "Fu-chan was visiting Sephie and had to come running to save you! :P"

"Aren't you and the Charmians supposed to be looking after Earth anyway?" Naruto grumbled. "How did a frigate get into orbit?"

"Er…" Fu laughed weakly. "Fu was on a super-secret mission!"

"You've already told me you were visiting Lala's mum."

"Oh… er…" Fu laughed weakly. "Silly Fu!" She bopped herself on the head.

"And the Charmians?"

"Well… Turns out someone bribed them! :/" Fu scowled. "Fu thought they were loyal to Sephie-chan but even Charmians can be bought out now. Well it's not as if they got to spend the bribe money. Gid-kun had a few words with them."

"Ah…" Naruto shivered. "I'm guessing they are not alive now."

"Nope," Fu laughed. "Along with the entire Manda fleet!"

"Manda's fleet was wiped out?"

"Yup!" Fu nodded energetically. "I came with an entire fleet and was all like POW and they were all like 'Oh no! We cannot beat such a sexy, young and awesome fighter' and I was like 'You are already dead' then they all exploded like BOOM! Oh and Shu-chan helped."

"Shu-chan?"

"Shukaku-chan." Fu coughed. "She is the First Holy Knight! That is to say the one who holds the seat of the First Knight. Kurama-lama was the first to receive the title holy knight."

"So she's the strongest?"

"No!" Fu laughed. "She is strong but not that strong! Kurama-lama-ding-dong is the strongest Devilukian and holds the highest rank of the Nine Knights… at least she did before the whole civil war mess. But strength wise Shu-chan is around 175 on the Human Equivalent Scale. You at the moment at full power are between 95 and 145. Your level fluctuates depending on your aura and proximity to Earth. At full power I'd say you could maybe even beat Shu-chan with the home side advantage." Fu tilted her head.

"Huh," Naruto smiled.

"But she wants you dead and is very good at drawing her prey out of their comfort zones."

"…What?"

"Well you see…" Fu laughed. "Shukaka-laka-baka is a follower of the Suna religion of 'Behemoth' who believe that every so often their god Behemoth is born into the universe as a being of overwhelming power who punished those who do not follow the its teachings. There are many different incarnations though and each one has completely different teachings. Basically when they find someone really, really strong they declare them to be the Xth coming of Behemoth."

"I see…" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "And my mother just happens to be the strongest thing around."

"Bingo," Fu nodded. "She is the 23rd coming of Behemoth and since Gid says you are her child, Shu basically thinks you are a heresy that needs remedying so… Have fun with that!"

"Can't you deal with her?"

"Fu could," She nodded. "But Fu has already booked the next two weeks off on holiday!"

"Your commitment to your job is truly inspiring," Naruto deadpanned.

"Fu-chan knows!" Fu beamed. "But don't worry! Fu has a plan to help you deal with her!"

"And that is?"

"This!" Fu slammed her finger tips into his stomach. "Fu has opened up your seal a little bit! It should give you the strength you need to keep yourself alive until Fu's holiday ends."

"…Is that safe?"

"Fu-chan is 75% sure that it will be okay." She beamed. "Now Fu-chan has to go get her bikini ready! Here's some sleep inducing Nano-bots to help you sleep through the pain of the seal opening!" She pulled a small syringe out and jabbed it into Naruto, injecting him quickly. "There! Done."

"I hate you so much…" Naruto groaned as he felt his eye lids grow heavy. "So…. Very…." He fell to sleep.

* * *

"Urgh…" Naruto groaned as he regained consciousness. _ 'Well I don't feel any different.'_ He managed to pry his arms from Lala and Kushina and walked into the shower area, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The shower started and Naruto frowned. "I didn't reach for the controls… maybe Lala installed some sort of automatic sensor." Naruto shrugged as he allowed the warm water to cascade over him.

"I feel little stiff," He mumbled as he stretched out. "But besides that nothing." He sighed. "Knowing Fu she probably sealed more of my power away. Oh well." He shrugged as he reached for the soap cursing as it slipped through his fingers. "Damn it!" He tried to grab it but paused as a devilukian tail caught it for him. "Thanks," He took the soap. "So…" Naruto stared at the tail. "I'm fairly familiar with the girl's tails and this one appears to be more pointed and arrow like than theirs so…" He grabbed the tail and yanked it. "Who the hell are you?" Naruto span as he pulled on the tail. "W-what?!" He glanced at the mirror. "W-WHAT?!"

"What is it?" The girls burst into the shower room.

"W-what are you doing?" Nana quickly covered her eyes and looked away.

"Wait… Is that…" Lala's eyes widened.

"I… Er… I think I grew a tail," Naruto laughed weakly.

"A tail?" Kushina grinned. "I can think of a few uses for that."

"Interesting." Risa walked over to the naked Naruto and grabbed the new addition. "It feels… smooth and warm. Can you feel it?"

"Kind of," Naruto watched her play with his tail. "It's like a very light sensation."

"Male tails aren't very sensitive," Momo reassured him. "At least not by themselves."

"Huh?"

"Onee-sama, would you like to do the honours?"

"Right!" Lala beamed and hugged Naruto. "Brace yourself!"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked as her tail started to wrap around his own. "What are you talking about?"

"You'll see." She smiled mischievously until her tail was completely wrapped around his. "Now." She rested the spade shaped tip of her tail against his more pointed tip.

"Gargh…" Naruto felt as if all the bones in his body had turned to jelly as a wave of pleasure almost comparable to sex swept through his body.

"Ah!" Lala gasped as she slumped against him.

"T…That…" Naruto struggled to amass enough brain power to speak as the pleasure pulsed through his entire body.

"That's what it feels like when you play with our tails." Momo explained as Lala was barely able to retain consciousness. "Okay I think that's enough," Momo tried to pry their tails apart but Lala's held on tight. "Come on Onee-sama…."

"Naruto~" Lala slurred. "I love you!"

"I love you too," Naruto managed to untangle himself from her. "That… I… wow…"

"Right?" Momo laughed. "Male tails by themselves do nothing but when in contact with a female tail it allows the male to feel what the female feels."

"…Can I get one of those?" Risa asked as she looked at Lala's satisfied expression.

"I could look into it," Lala declared as she cuddled up to Naruto's arm. "Although genetics aren't really my thing."

"I know a few people," Mikado announced.

"Mikado-sensei? When did you get here?" Naruto blinked. "Oh right… I remember…"

"I was going to say." Mikado pouted. "If you forgot that night then I would be greatly insulted." She walked up to him. "And I would have to make sure you didn't forget the next time."

"Oh?" Naruto blinked. "And how would you do that?"

"Well…" Mikado turned to Lala, "Would you be up for another tag team?"

"Always!" Lala declared. "If it involves having sex with Naruto I am always ready!"

"Here, here!" Risa added her two cents.

"Tell you what. I'll have him satisfy me then you girls can do whatever you want." Kushina waved lazily. "I love Naruto but not a big fan of the whole multiple people at once thing. Seems like it requires a lot of effort."

"Perverts!" Nana declared. "I can't believe you all so perverted! Corrupting Ane-ue as well you filthy beast!" She glared at Naruto.

"Nana!" Lala scolded her younger sister. "I am not corrupted. I have been planning how I was going to have sex with Naruto since I first learnt about it! If anything I corrupted him!"

"She has a point," Kushina added. "I spent quite a bit of time trying to seduce Naruto and until Lala appeared had no success."

"As expected of Onee-sama," Momo nodded. "She has a force of will so great even Naruto cannot withstand her influence."

"Not that I don't like seeing you all but could you leave me to shower in peace?" Naruto asked.

"Are you sure you don't want us to help you shower?" Kushina purred.

"Let's be honest," Naruto sighed. "If you try and help me… I'll end up dirtier than when I got in the shower in the first place."

"That wasn't a no." Kushina started undressing.

"Ooh!" Lala beamed. "I'll help too!" She declared as she cast aside her clothes.

"Well I do need a shower…" Mikado declared and started to remove her lab coat.

"Listen girls," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "I really need to get to school on time. I promised Yui-chan I would make more of an effort to improve my school studies."

"Alright," Kushina sighed. "I can wait… until you finish P.E. and are all alone in the shower room… Hehehe…" She started panting. "Oh yeah… I can see some naughty teacher student fun in my future."

"Hm…" Mikado looked at Naruto critically, "I would advise you nip into the nurse's office at some point."

"For you to run tests to see if everything is okay?"

"Oh yes." Mikado smiled seductively. "I can think of quite a few tests for your long appendage… Oh and your tail as well."

"M-Mikado!" Naruto stammered as she laughed.

"Come on girls," Mikado chuckled. "Let's leave him to his shower."

Naruto merely watched as they left. "Seriously," He smiled softly.

"By the way," Mikado poked her head in. "I was joking about having sex with you in the nurse's office."

"I guessed."

"I haven't removed all of the principal's hidden cameras yet."

"…You know I really wish you were joking but knowing that perverted bastard I wouldn't be surprised." Naruto sighed.

* * *

"Good morning!" Yui beamed as Naruto and Lala walked towards her. "You are on time!"

"On time?" Naruto glanced at his watch. "I am a half hour early!"

"A student should always arrive early to school," Yui smiled at him. "I am glad you are taking your studies seriously."

"Wait… I don't remember agreeing to that," Naruto blinked. "I just agreed to improve my attendance!" He laughed as Yui scowled at him.

"I know you are busy with… all the business due to Lala," Yui frowned. "But you should at least maintain your grades. I feel that you could easily be near the top of your class if you focused on your academic pursuits."

"Kind of hard to do that when I have alien crime lords trying to kidnap my precious people but I promise I'll try under one condition."

"Oh?"

"That you'll come over to my house and help me with the homework."

"Eh?" Yui blushed. "You… you want me to spend more time at your house with you?"

"Of course!" Lala nodded. "Naruto loves you so you should move in with us!"

"T-that…" Yui fidgeted with her uniform. "For two people who aren't wed to be living together… It's too shameless…"

"Wasn't that maid outfit shameless?"

"Momo?" Naruto turned to see the younger devilukian smiling. "You're wearing the school uniform again?"

"Well it does make it easier for me to sneak in." Momo smiled. "Plus I haven't finished scoping out this place for when Nana and I join."

"Oh," Yui smiled. "Are you planning to come here? I guess that would make me your sempai right?"

"We'll get back to that later," Naruto interrupted. "What's this about a maid's outfit?"

"N-nothing!" Yui went red and shot a look at Momo.

"Yeah it was nothing." Momo grinned. "Well practically nothing with how little it covered but…"

"Momo! T-this isn't the place…" Yui mumbled as she looked at Naruto.

"Huh," Naruto rubbed underneath his nose. "When did that happen?"

"Whilst you were off playing the damsel." Momo smirked at him.

"Hah, hah," Naruto deadpanned. "Well… I wish I'd seen that."

"Eh?"

"To see Yui-chan in such an outfit…" Naruto smiled at her. "I'd bet you looked amazing in it."

"R-really?" Yui stared at the floor intently. "W-well if you wanted… I could…"

"Hm?" Naruto tilted his head.

"N-never mind!" Yui shook her head furiously. "It's nothing!"

"Really?" Momo tilted her head. "Because to me it sounded like you were going to…"

"Do nothing!" Yui put a hand over Momo's mouth.

"Really?" Naruto shook his head but pressed no further.

"Besides!" Yui calmed herself, "There are more important things to talk about."

"Such as?"

"Well…" Yui floundered before seeing a group of students walking in and talking about their work, "Homework!"

"Homework?" Naruto sighed. "I've been busy and haven't done it."

"Then you should!" Yui drew herself up to her full height. "Come on, there is still time before class starts."

"I don't know…" Naruto scowled.

"Hello Uzumaki-san, Lala-san, Kotegawa-san, Deviluke-san," Haruna walked up and greeted them all.

"Er Hi," Naruto smiled at her.

'_Who?" Haruna looked horrified as a black claw was thrust through her heart. "What… Who…"_

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna frowned.

"I… I need to go do my homework," He smiled apologetically before taking off towards the library.

"N-Naruto?" Yui frowned as he glanced between his retreating back and Haruna's concerned face. "I'll go help him."

"Actually…" Haruna smiled. "I finished the work. Maybe I should help him."

"Oh you finished it?" Lala grabbed hold of Haruna. "Could you help me?"

"Help Lala-san?" Haruna was quickly dragged to one side by the bubbly girl.

"I think Onee-sama wants you to talk to him," Momo sighed. "I'll help her keep Haruna away."

"R-right." Yui nodded and ran after Naruto. "W-wait!"

"Huh?" Naruto slowed and let her catch up to him. "Hey Yui."

"Is something the matter?"

"It's…" Naruto closed his eyes. "Something happened on the ship that made me question who I really feel about Haruna."

"How do you mean?" Yui frowned.

"I…" Naruto paused. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"If am your girlfriend then I want to be able to help you with your problems," Yui squeezed his arm gently, "Even if the problems involve other girls."

"…I had a parasite in my brain," Naruto looked at her. "The parasite is supposed to put its host in a dream world that is so perfect that the host never wants to leave it."

"I see…" Yui smiled sadly. "And Sarenji-san was in it."

"Yeah." Naruto nodded.

"Was I?" Yui asked.

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "Everyone was in some form or another."

"Were we dating?"

"…No…" Naruto admitted.

"So…" Yui forced her voice to remain level. "In your ideal world… You were not dating me."

"It's not like that," Naruto gave a frustrated sigh. "I love you Yui. There isn't a single bone in my body that would prefer for me not to be dating you." He looked her deep in the eyes, "That's the truth."

"N-Naruto," Yui blushed as the two sat down in the library and got their homework out of their school bags.

"It's just… I saw Haruna die in that dream world… And for a split second I felt as if my heart had been ripped out. I thought that I had moved on but I haven't… Not really. I'm just painting over the damage and that's not fair to you girls." Naruto wrapped an arm around Yui and gave her a quick hug. "You girls deserve my undivided affection."

"So?" Yui looked embarrassed. "Couldn't you get her to… you know?" Yui blushed. "Join the family?"

"Just say harem damn it."

"I don't have a harem" Naruto blinked. "Mikado-sensei?"

"That really is a reflex reaction now isn't it?" Mikado laughed as she sat down on the other side of the desk to Naruto. "I just came here to check out a few books but I have to admit I am surprised to find you here."

"I read books," Naruto replied sulkily.

"Manga don't count."

"I've read stuff other than manga!"

"Instruction manuals, text books and magazines don't count either."

"Er…" Naruto frowned. "Okay you've got me," he shrugged.

"So who are you recruiting Harem Lord?"

"Harem Lord?" Yui scowled. "That is such a shameless title!"

"Hey," Mikado chuckled, "It's what the Suna people refer to him as. Some of the Inu warriors do as well."

"Eh?" Yui glanced at Naruto, "Why do these Inu and Suna people know you?"

"Oh that's a story from a while back," Naruto smiled. "Life was much simpler then."

"Oh that reminds me," Mikado pulled a tablet out of her pocket and pushed it towards Naruto. "The results from the sperm sample I took yesterday."

"What does it mean?" Naruto tilted his head.

"It means my theory was right," Mikado smirked. "When you are using the Damus aura your seal is practically useless when it comes to preventing pregnancy."

"I see," Naruto scowled. "So that means no sex with my aura active."

"S-shameless!"

"Sorry Yui," Mikado winked. "You are missing out on one hell of a ride."

"Couldn't I just wear a condom?" Naruto suggested as Yui focused on her books to distract herself from the conversation.

"You could try but I can't guarantee it would stop your sperm. There used to be a joke that a berserker's sperm was so powerful it could break through steel. Whilst obviously not true it does have some elements of truth in it, that your sperm will basically be quite difficult to stop, especially using human contraceptives. I suppose Yui could take contraceptive pills as her eggs can't be fertilised then it doesn't matter how strong your sperm is."

"W-w-wait!" Yui stammered. "Why are you talking about me?"

"Oh?" Mikado raised an eyebrow. "I thought you two were eventually going to have sex. Was I wrong?"

"W-well…" Yui trailed off.

"Oh well," Mikado smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry for putting you on the spot." She slipped off her shoes and started to trail up Naruto's leg with her foot. "I guess I just misread your relationship."

"W-what do you mean?" Naruto tried to ignore her foot as it started to travel to his groin.

"Well you two are dating right? And you both seem to love each other. I would have thought sex is the logical next step."

"Is that so?" Naruto suddenly found the table very interesting as she started to slowly massage his groin beneath the table as Yui tried to help him with his homework.

"Well I guess I can understand it," Mikado smiled, "After all I guess Naruto is not exactly short of willing partners and Yui is quite opposed to 'shameless' acts."

"I don't… That is to say I am not entirely against the idea," Yui mumbled.

"Oh really?" Mikado laughed as she watched Naruto start to twitch as her ministrations had their desired effect.

"I mean… I want to of course but I don't want to force Yui-chan," Naruto admitted awkwardly. "I mean I get it if she doesn't so I'm not going to break up with her over it but I guess when ever she's ready I am."

"N-Naruto," Yui stared at the desk her cheeks aflame. "I… That is… I was thinking… Maybe you might want to…"

"Want to?" Naruto blinked.

"Well…" Yui opened her mouth and the bell for class rang. "Er… Never mind." She sighed.

"So close!" Mikado laughed as she walked away.

"We should hurry, it would be a shame if you were late after putting in the effort to arrive early." Yui smiled at Naruto before heading off to her classroom.

"Yeah, I'll be right there," Naruto smiled. _'Damn it Mikado! Your stupid games having given me an erection! Okay think unsexy thoughts... Pillows, Post boxes… naked Jiraiya OH MY GOD IT BURNS!' _Naruto shivered. _'Well… That killed my erection at least. Now all I need is some brain bleach.' _

* * *

"Ultimate Master Manly Sage!"

"…Yes Kenichi?" Naruto turned to face the energetic youth as the rest of the class started to file out for dinner. "Can I help you?"

"Haven't you heard?"

"About what?" Naruto cleared his ear with his little finger.

"About Saki-sama!"

"She's not in trouble is she?" Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"No… although it does the old heart good to see you eager to leap to the defence of a nubile young woman. As expected of the Harem Master!"

"I don't have time for your nonsense today Kenichi," Naruto sighed.

"Of course!" Kenichi saluted him, "No doubt the manly sage eagerly wishes to head to the laps of his harem!"

"What are you… actually never mind, what was it that you wanted to tell me."

"Saki-sama is throwing a party!"

"Oh?" Naruto perked up. "That sounds interesting."

"She is having a competition to see which classes get to attend!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes she said she was making the announcement in the cafeteria. We must go Manly Sage!"

"Sure, sure," Naruto smirked. "Let's see what Saki has up her sleeve." The blonde hero followed his self-proclaimed apprentice to the cafeteria where a large crowd had gathered. On a table at the far end of the cafeteria, Saki stood proudly flanked as always by her two closest friends, Aya and Rin. Her eyes met with Naruto's for an instant before she continued looking around the room.

"Ohohohoho!" Saki laughed shrilly. "It is good to see so many have come to pay homage to their queen!"

"Glad to see that Saki has her ego under control," Naruto rolled his eyes. He frowned as his phone vibrated. "Oh come on." Naruto glanced at the screen.

[You shall respect Saki-sama.] – Psycho Maid.

"Great," Naruto groaned.

"What's a matter?"

"Momo?" Naruto blinked. "What are you still doing here?"

"I haven't finished my recon," Momo took Naruto's phone. "Receiving death threats?"

"Not exactly," Naruto sighed.

"Hmm…" Momo played around with his phone. "Man Earth phones don't have any good games on them," She sighed and handed him the phone back.

"Sorry?" Naruto pocketed the phone.

"Naruto!" Lala happily walked up to him, Haruna and Risa close behind her. "Oh hi Momo!"

"Onee-sama," Momo bowed her head slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Risa asked.

"Just looking around," Momo smiled. "Nana and I are thinking about attending."

"So you figured you'd find all the good places to have sex before you got here?"

"R-Risa-chan," Haruna blushed. "You shouldn't talk so openly about such a personal thing."

"Oh my I would not dream of something so vulgar." Momo smiled peacefully.

"Eh?" Risa blinked. "What's with the goody two shoes act?!"

"I have no idea what you mean." Momo smiled calmly.

"Hey Momioka! Stop trying to make our beloved Momo-sama look bad!" A group of guys wearing shirts that said 'Momo is Love' advanced on the group.

"Oh my," Momo smiled. "I appreciate your kindness but assure you it isn't needed."

"We would die for Momo-sama!" They proclaimed loudly.

"You've got quite the fan club," Naruto growled softly.

"Oh hoh?" Momo leaned forwards so only he could hear her. "Is Naruto getting jealous?"

"Not at all," Naruto remarked. "I just can't help notice how they are staring at you." Naruto's grin went feral. "I don't appreciate my precious people being ogled like a piece of meat."

"Now, now," Momo leaned back. "We should all be nice to each other."

"That's our Momo-sama!"

"She's an angel."

"She's an ARGH!" There was a bright flash as a flashbang grenade exploded in the room. When the vision finally returned to Naruto's eyes the three youths were a twitching pile of pain and misery and Hanabi was stood next to them wearing her usual maid's outfit and disinterested expression.

"Saki-sama is speaking," Hanabi brushed the dust from her maid's uniform. "Your human pigs should be weeping tears of joy at being able to witness milady's beauty."

"Er… Thank you Hanabi-chan," Saki clapped her hands no that all attention was back on her. "As you have no doubt heard I am throwing a special costume party at my mansion tonight. Now places at the party are limited so I have thought of a fun game." Saki suddenly started fanning herself. "Now this party will have many guests at it including the new Idol sensation Run-chan as well as the amazing Kyouko from TV's Magical Girl Kyouko!"

"To meet Kyouko-chan?! That would be a dream come true!" An excited male called out.

"The idol Run?! I have all of her albums!" Another called out.

"She's only released one single," Naruto remarked. _'I should know she mailed me a copy and asked for my opinion on it.' _

"Well… Still the point stands." The voice weakly argued.

"But there are only enough free tickets for two classes to go!" Saki sighed dramatically. "Which is why I have decided to let you win the right for your class to go to my party!"

"Oh?" Naruto tilted his head. "This sounds like it could be fun."

"You have to win!" Lala begged him. "I have to meet Kyouko-chan!"

"…You have met her," Naruto sighed. "She and I know each other. Remember? Oh well," Naruto cracked his knuckles. "I guess I can try. I doubt I am going to be lucky enough for the contest to be a fight."

"All you have to do to win your class a spot in my party is…" Saki paused dramatically. "Wear a medallion!"

"Wait… seriously?" Naruto blinked.

"But there are only two and both are carried by my faithful friends. Rin and Aya." Saki gestured to the two girls who revealed a silver medallion emblazoned with the crest of the Tenjouin, "And all you have to do is get it off of them."

"That sounds almost too easy," Naruto crossed his arms.

"Once you have the medallions you must find me and present it to me in order to win your prize!" Saki proclaimed. "But there are some rules that must be followed!"

"Oh?" Naruto glanced at Momo who was smiling knowingly. "What are you looking so smug about?"

"Oh its nothing," Momo laughed.

"The first rule is that the person holding the amulet cannot be harmed! You either have to steal it from one of them or convince them to part with the amulet. My maid Hanabi-chan will be ensuring that people stick to that rule. You also cannot attack other people to remove them from the competition. Doing so will have Hanabi-chan remove you from the competition."

"Fair enough," Naruto glanced at Momo who seemed to be trying to not laugh.

"The second rule is that each class may only have a single representative!"

"We vote Naruto!" Naruto's class cheered in unison.

"Don't I have a say?" Naruto sighed.

"And the third and final rule is…" Saki smiled, "Have fun! Now I need everyone who was elected to head to the sports hall!"

"Don't we have classes to attend?" Naruto remarked.

"Those who are elected have my blessing to take part in the competition rather than study!" The Principal announced proudly.

"To think this used to be a good school before that guy got in charge." Naruto shook his head.

"That may be true but look at the girl's uniforms and tell me it wasn't worth it," Kenichi clenched his fists with tears in his eyes.

"Well… I wasn't planning to go to Toudai anyway," Naruto smirked. "At least I can win everyone a neat party."

"We have faith in you Uzumaki-sama!" The males of his class chorused.

"Now they decide they like me," Naruto sighed. "Now they can actually benefit from me."

"It doesn't matter what they think," Haruna spoke softly. "All that matters is what your friends and family think and I think you are a brave, strong and kind person." She smiled at Naruto.

"Well thanks," Naruto glanced at her and _all of a sudden he was watching her get killed again…The look of betrayal as she faded away into nothingness. The look that said 'You could have saved me but chose not to. This is your fault.' _ "I guess," He looked away from her.

"Uzumaki-kun?" Haruna frowned softly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"It's just… you seem to be acting a little weird."

"He said he's fine." Yui walked up to the group. "Please don't push it."

"Oh… alright." Haruna glanced at Naruto. "If there's anything I can do."

"It's nothing," Naruto quickly flashed her a smile. "Shouldn't you be in class Yui-chan?"

"I… well….Shouldn't you? Dinner is almost over."

"I got nominated for that contest."

"Oh me too," Yui slumped.

"We'll cheer you on!" Lala declared.

"You should go back to class!" Yui demanded hotly.

"I don't need no education!" Risa laughed. "I'm Naruto's sex slave! The things I need to learn can't be taught in school! At least not at this one."

"R-r-risa!" Haruna squeaked.

"I'm going to be an empress and have already completed up to a Master's Degree level of education. I am awaiting the results what is the equivalent of a PhD!" Lala beamed.

"Wow…" Yui blinked. "Really?"

"Really," Momo confirmed. "By the way I'm at University Level and so is Nana."

"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "And here I am sitting mid-table in a high school."

"Yeah but you are going to be the emperor of the galaxy so you don't have to be smart!"

"Okay I would have thought that I would need to be smart." Naruto frowned.

"Don't worry," Lala beamed. "I will take care of all the important issues. All you have to do is be intimidating and father plenty of children."

"And you've proven that you are pretty good at that." Momo added innocently.

"He is an impressive figure is he not?" Kenichi nodded.

"Moving on," Naruto shot Momo a warning look, "I'd best be going to see what the 'Queen' has planned."

"R-right." Yui nodded and fell into step beside Naruto as they walked towards the sports hall.

"Oh wait!" Momo grinned and ran up to him. "Here take this!" She handed a small sports bottle to him. "It's full of nutrients and vitamins to help maintain your optimum performance! Have fun." Momo ran off smiling madly.

"Uh huh." Naruto deadpanned as he looked at the drink. "Somehow I get the sneaking suspicion that this drink is going to cause trouble." He shook his head.

"Then if you are so worried you just have to get rid of it," Yui pointed out as she looked at the suspiciously normal drinks container.

"But what if it genuinely is a sports drink," Naruto frowned. "I don't want to hurt Momo's feelings."

"I guess you could wait until later on and drink it when you are alone?" Yui suggested. "That way any effects would be contained. Plus I don't think Momo-san would make anything harmful to you." She smiled at him. "She has her heart in the right place… It's just her head that is stuck in a shameless place." She scowled slightly.

"Heh," Naruto gave Yui a quick hug, resulting In a sudden squeak from the blushing girl. "You're right." The two walked into the sports hall where a small group of students were all stood. There was a large arena in the middle of the room and Saki was stood on a small podium overlooking the arena. She was wearing a white toga with a gold leaf headdress whilst lounging on a white couch that Naruto had to admit made her look like some sort of Greek goddess.

Rin stood beside her, dressed in what looked like a roman soldier style armour with the moulded chest plate showing off her impressive assets. Her hand rested on a bokuto sheathed above her leather skirt whilst Aya wore a flowing white dress, making her look like a retainer of Saki's.

"Got to give her credit," Naruto chuckled. "Saki knows how to put on a show. They all look really good up there."

"Y-yeah," Yui mumbled.

"I'm sure they don't compare to you in the maid dress Momo told me about."

"W-what?" Yui went crimson "

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "I'm sad I missed the chance to see you wearing something so sexy. I'm sure you were truly divine."

"M-Maybe I might wear it again… But not for any shameless reasons!" Yui pointed at him.

"Hai, hai," Naruto laughed, drawing the attention of the others in the room.

"So it looks like Uzumaki-san is taking part." A male voice muttered.

"Yeah, so we are agreed. We all work together against him?"

"It's the only way we are going to stand a chance of winning this."

"Naruto…" Yui glanced at Naruto.

"Sounds like they are planning to gang up on me." Naruto smirked. "Well good luck to them." He cracked his knuckles, "They'll need it."

"Welcome!" Saki started to fan herself as she got off of her recliner. "I see that every class has submitted their champions. Now as I said there are two class tickets that can be earned by claiming one of two medallions. One is held by Rin-chan the other by Aya-chan. All you have to do is get the medallions from them. Simple isn't it?"

"So… How do we do that?" A voice called from the crowd. "And what's with the arena?"

"Well…" Saki smiled behind her fan. "There is a lot more than two classes competing so…" She snapped her fan shut and pointed it at the arena. "I feel we should thin out the numbers before Aya and Rin get involved."

"Oh?" The guys all rounded on Naruto, trying to look menacing.

"Each of you shall be given an outfit to wear. This outfit has special properties that will become obvious straight away." Saki smiled. "So all of you can go get changed then meet up back here for the preliminaries!"

A few moments later and the room was full of students dressed as gladiators.

"Well," Naruto smirked as he stretched out. His outfit was basically a leather shoulder piece and a leather skirt over his orange boxers. "I guess it won't weigh me down."

"I feel underdressed…" Yui mumbled as she joined Naruto. She was dressed in an outfit similar to Saki, only with a leather breast plate and leather bracers and grieves beneath the dress.

"W-wow," Naruto blushed. "You really do look amazing."

"That… I… You look good too." Yui mumbled as she looked at the floor, her face burning bright.

"Oh you enjoy seeing me practically naked?" Naruto smiled at her.

"That.,,," Yui stuttered madly.

"I think we should target Kotegawa… That will force Naruto to play defensive." A male voice whispered slightly too loudly to get away unheard.

"Well volunteered!" Saki pointed at the shocked looking boy. "If you would care to step into the arena…"

"Me?" The youth clambered into the arena. He was wearing full leather armour and looked around uncertainly.

"Right," Saki clicked her fingers.

"Understood," Rin and Aya pulled out two hoses and opened them up, knocking the boy out of the arena. When the deluge finally subsided the boy was clad only in his boxers.

"As you can see," Saki smiled evilly. "When you get wet your clothes go see through! If all your outfit goes see through you are eliminated. If you are knocked out of the arena and land on the floor, you are eliminated."

"So that's what Momo was grinning at," Naruto groaned. "She made a swimsuit out of the same material once and convinced Nana it only went see-through went she was aroused. The poor girl was traumatised when it went see through when Kenichi spilt his drink on her."

"What about me?!" The unlucky youth asked.

"Looks like you've been eliminated." Saki replied hiding her devious smirk behind a fan. "So everyone else… Enter the arena! Oh but be careful… Rin-chan and Aya-chan may have made the arena a little slippery."

"Seems like a fun distraction," Naruto clambered onto the arena, pausing to help Yui.

"I don't like the sound of this…" Yui hid behind Naruto. "Not to mention I'm the only girl taking part…"

"Yeah," Naruto noticed the less than healthy looks that Yui was receiving. "Don't worry about it." Naruto cracked his neck. "I won't let a single attack hit you."

"N-Naruto…" Yui smiled softly.

"Hehehe…" The newly formed Anti-Naruto Alliance smirked. "Even you can only do so much against all of us!"

"Oh my," Saki laughed shrilly. "What made you think you were fighting each other?"

"Eh?"

"Rin-chan, Aya-chan," Saki turned to the two girls who were stood next to a large pile of water balloons. "Have fun."

"Hai," Rin bowed her head and picked up a few water balloons.

"W-what?" The guys looked at each other.

"What?" Saki tilted her head innocently. "I only said that I was going to thin your numbers before the main event."

"Fire!" Aya yelled happily as she tossed a barrage of water balloons around the arena.

"You're out," Rin stated as she calmly struck one of the boys clean in the chest.

"W-wow…" Yui hid behind Naruto. "It's a massacre!"

"Yeah," Naruto idly caught a water balloon Rin threw at him and tossed it at one of the boys who was trying to sneak between him and Yui. "Shame I really couldn't care less about these guys." He smirked as another group of them fell down, clad only in their underwear until only four remained. Naruto, Yui and two males.

"Ahahaha!" One of the males grinned. "As expected that I would survive such an onslaught. My skills are amazing!"

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai," A small group of the now almost naked boys saluted him, "Passing off his cowardice and hiding behind other people as a skill!"

"Oh I remember you," Saki frowned. "You're in my year aren't you?"

"Of course you remember me," Motemitsu smiled, "As the star pitcher for our school there isn't a girl who wouldn't want to date me."

"I wouldn't." Saki replied simply.

"Me too," Aya added.

"I have no interest in dating one such as yourself," Rin coldly remarked.

"I am perfectly happy in my current relationship," Yui added somewhat apologetically.

"Gargh!" Motemitsu flinched.

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai, struck out again."

"Keep yapping and see where that gets you," The other male grinned.

"Wait a minute… Kiba?"

"Harem Lord," The Inuzuka bowed his head.

"Harem Lord?" Saki, Rin and Aya exchanged glances.

"…What the hell are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kiba smirked. "I am here to ensure that you keep your end of the bargain!"

"And the fact this school has a ridiculously high number of hot girls didn't help in that decision." Naruto deadpanned.

"…That might have played a small part," Kiba admitted. "But that's not the point!" He pointed at Naruto. "In this battle I cannot lose!"

"But I thought only students were allowed to compete," Naruto crossed his arms.

"He's allowed!" The principal declared.

"What?!" Naruto span around. "Where did you come from and he's not a cute girl so how did he convince you to let him join?"

"He gave me printed pictures of his sister in lingerie!" The principal blushed perversely.

"Really?" Naruto glanced at the Inuzuka.

"She loves to have people see her posing sexily," Kiba admitted. "That reminds me," He threw a small envelope towards Naruto. "She said there was some special pictures for you as an incentive to become emperor and help unite my planet."

"Incentive?" Naruto glanced at the envelope before remembering Yui was there. "I have no need for these." He passed them to Yui. "I am planning to do all that regardless."

"Your loss," Kiba shrugged. "My sister is smoking hot. I think there may even be some of my mum in there."

"There is something seriously wrong with you Kiba." Naruto deadpanned.

"Says the guy with a harem of which one member is his adopted mother." Kiba retorted.

"Not that this isn't interesting," Saki interrupted, "But my game isn't quite finished yet. Since there are only four members left the rules have changed. Aya-chan and Rin-chan will join the game. To win claim their medallions without hurting them."

"Hey sexy," Kiba put an arm around Aya, "How 'bout you gimme that medallion and I might just give you a little something if you know what I mean?"

"Classy," Naruto sighed.

"I will have to say no," Aya bowed her head apologetically.

"Oh! I get it," Kiba nodded. "You're a lesbian!"

"W-what?"

"'Cause you have no interest in me," Kiba elaborated before being struck several times in the spine by needles and falling over.

"I shall educate the foul hound in the matters of etiquette." Hanabi strolled onto the arena holding a blow pipe and collected the twitching Kiba, dragging him off stage by a single leg and smiling darkly as he hit his head as she pulled him off of the arena.

"Should we do something?" Yui asked.

"He probably deserves whatever it is she is planning to do to him," Naruto shrugged. "Plus he's fairly resilient."

"Ah sweetest Rin!" Motemitsu pulled a rose from nowhere, "Accept this token of my affection and do me the honour of presenting the medallion to me, so that I might accompany you to the dance as your boyfriend."

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai! He completely forget the fact she had already rejected him literally minutes ago!"

"…I wonder who hard I can hit him without killing him," Naruto mumbled. "Maybe if I used Raph's aura I could heal and hurt him at the same time…"

"Naruto?" Yui caught Naruto's murderous expression.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "Oh sorry," He laughed. "It just pisses me off when people try and play with others feelings you know. Trying to seduce Rin-chan just for a chance to go to one of Saki's parties."

"He is worse filth than you," Hanabi admitted.

"Psycho maid?" Naruto blinked at her sudden re-appearance. "Are you some sort of ninja or something?"

"A maid and a ninja are in many ways the same thing," Hanabi remarked.

'_Not really.' _Naruto and Yui sweat dropped together.

"I have no interest in dating you," Rin replied calmly.

"W-what?" Motemitsu staggered backwards as if he'd been struck. "That… That cannot be! I see how it is… Uzumaki must have bewitched you!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked. "What do I have to do with anything?!"

"Fear not beautiful maiden I will… arghh!" He cried out in alarm as Naruto kicked him out of the arena. "I thought the rules said no harm to the competitors?!"

"Objection overruled!" Saki smiled.

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai, completely outclassed from the offset."

"S-shut up!" Motemitsu pointed at his followers. "This isn't the last you have seen of me Uzumaki!"

"Er… Okay?" Naruto waved as he left. "Strange guy that."

"Now…" Rin drew her bokuto with a soft smile. "It is time for you to earn my medallion."

"Huh?" Naruto held up a silver necklace, "You mean this?"

"But… when?!" Rin glanced at her neck.

"Well…" Naruto grinned weakly. "I kind of have the ability to swap items and used a pen lip that I had tucked behind my ear to swap places with your medallion. I did the same with Aya-san." He tossed the second medallion to Yui.

"What interesting abilities you have!" Saki clapped. "I must say I am hoping to see more of your special tricks at the party!"

"I aim to please," Naruto bowed slightly.

"Humph," Rin crossed her arms. "I am slightly disappointed. I was hoping to duel you."

"Oh? If you want we can still duel." He grinned as he bit his thumb and ran it across his arm, causing a bokuto to be created out of thin air. "Impressive huh? I have a… well let's call her a friend," _'I don't know what Fu really is to me. Probably an antagonist.' _"And she created a seal that deconstructs anything you hold up to it and can reconstruct it at any time. All the nano bots in the seal need is the energy that can be found in blood. Cool huh?"

"I had heard the rumours that Lala-san was an alien with advanced technology." Saki remarked. "It appears they were true."

"Rumours?" Naruto blinked. "I thought Lala had told everyone that she was an alien and that was all accepted. I mean haven't you noticed all the weird crap like that space ship that attacked here?"

"We were attacked?" Saki looked shocked.

"Huh," Naruto blinked. "I'd have thought that everybody would have noticed that. Oh well," Naruto shrugged. "I was of the opinion that everyone already knew about Lala's alien status. It always surprised me how little of a fuss people made about it."

"I guess for most people it is easier to just go about as if nothing is different," Yui pointed out.

"I guess," Naruto shrugged. "But that's enough of that." He grinned as he pointed his bokuto at Rin. "What kind of rules are we playing?"

"Playing?" Rin raised an eyebrow and took up a stance. "This is no game. A duel is a test of ones abilities."

"I forgot how stiff you were at times," Naruto chuckled. "If you aren't having fun they you aren't doing it right." He mirrored Rin's stance.

"Very well," Rin smiled. "Let us have fun then." Rin charged Naruto with speeds far beyond that of a human.

"Holy hell!" Naruto blocked the blow. "You've gotten really fast!"

"You are not the only one with strange abilities." Rin's blade became a blur of strikes.

"Huh," Naruto managed to deflect them all. _'Man… Rin-chan is really pumped up for this!' _

'_You cannot lose this!' _Raphael's voice demanded. _'__I will not allow my vessel to lose to that bitch!'_

'_Eh?" _Naruto had no time to focus on his conversation as he continually parried all of Rin's attacks. "Man you aren't holding back."

"But you are." Rin leapt backwards. "You… You have gotten strong. But even still I want to know where I stand."

"Rin-chan!" Saki blinked. "You can't use that power!"

"That power?" Naruto blinked.

"Rin-chan was born with a special power but there are people who will force her to marry someone if they ever found out that she had this power. They would take her away from Saki-sama." Aya explained.

"Wait a second… Do you have a strange voice in your head?" Naruto glanced at Rin. "Probably sounds like it should have a harp accompanying it?"

"…You know of the Angel's Blood?" Rin blinked.

"If that's what you call an Arcangus crest," Naruto smirked. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and mine is the Crest of Raphael!" He was surrounded by an impressive suit of ghostly blue plate mail with eight proud angel wings behind him. _'Raph? What gives? I feel far better than I usually do using this form.'_

'_In order to make sure you don't lose to her I've given you access to more of my power.' _

'_What's so bad about losing to Rin-chan?" _

'_It is not the human…. But the Arcangus I sense within her' ._Raphael actually sounded angry. _'__That Michaela-stealing skank!' _

'…_What?' _

"I don't know why," Rin smiled. "But the voice inside wants me to fight you with all I've got!"

"Rin!" Saki looked worried.

"It's okay," Naruto assured Saki. "If someone tries to force her to marry someone else I'll just beat them up."

"And probably marry her yourself," Yui remarked bluntly

"Okay that was just once," Naruto rubbed her forehead.

"You… You are married?" Rin felt strange when she heard this.

'_I told you.' _Gabriella's soft voice chided her. _'__He only wants you for your body. He has already been claimed in soul by another.' _

"I kind of got tricked into it," Naruto admitted. "Not to say I don't love Risa but I didn't plan to marry anyone this early on. Not that it has changed much, besides Lala's odd Yandere moments when Risa mentions it."

"That dog boy called you Harem Lord," Rin spoke softly. "Why?"

"Well… I kind of ran into him a bit ago when he was trying to win the right to marry Lala. Long story short I beat him and he found out that quite a few people were interested in me and declared me a Harem Lord apparently."

"So you do have a harem."

"No I/he doesn't!" Yui and Naruto exclaimed at the same time.

"He most certainly does," Hanabi snorted. "There is his guardian figure, three alien princesses (maybe four depending), two human girls (One of which he is dating, the other he is married to) and also an alien doctor. There are a few others that are maybes as well."

"Really?" Rin blinked. _'So… You are right Gabriella. He really is a perverted beast.' _

'_Told you so.' _

"My life is complicated," Naruto admitted. "I keep trying to protect everyone and I want to make them happy… Seems that makes people fall in love with you and if loving them all back is wrong then fine. I'm wrong to do what I do. But so long as those precious people are happy and smiling…" He shot Rin a look full of determination. "I don't care what other people think of me." He paused. "That doesn't mean I don't care what you think of me… I mean we are… were close friends not so long ago."

"Yes…" Rin lowered her head. "And I… I ceased my friendship with you over misinformation."

"Eh?"

"I never knew…" Rin bit her lip, "I never knew that Saki-sama got kidnapped and that you… You were badly injured saving her so I wouldn't have to give up on my dream of being the world No1 at Kendo."

"Well…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "It wasn't your fault."

"We were close friends," Rin continued, "Yet I instantly believed the lies of that Hyuuga boy."

"I cannot apologise enough," Hanabi bowed her head. "For the misery that one of my own has caused you."

"It isn't your fault." Rin smiled at the maid/ninja/mercenary.

"And neither is it yours," Naruto remarked. "I could have found you and explained myself to you at any point."

"No… You would have never done anything that would have made me feel like I failed my duty." Rin smiled softly. "You always were willing to take the blame when our spars got out of hand and I damaged something. You were always taking blame that you didn't deserve."

'_Idiot girl! He is trying to mislead you!' _Gabriella sighed. _'__Do not forget what he is! A perverted beast who feasts upon the innocence of pure young maidens such as yourself and Saki-sama who should spend all your time naked and cuddling each other!' _

"Naruto…" Rin looked him in the eyes. "I always believed you can read someone by exchanging blows. Please… Do not hold back."

"If that's what you want," The Arcangus powered Naruto nodded.

"Thank you and in return… I won't hold back either." Rin took a deep breath. "My name is Rin Kujou… and mine is the Crest of Gabriella." There was a sudden burst of blue flame that enveloped Rin, slowing fading away revealing her covered in a flowing blue kimono that revealed ample cleavage. "Come Naruto… Let me hear your soul!"

"Rin!" Naruto charged towards her, coating his bokuto in the blue energy and slashing at Rin.

"Naruto!" Rin launched her own attack, the two colliding in mid-air and causing a white explosion that overpowered all of their senses.

* * *

"Eh?" Naruto blinked as he found himself staring at a naked Rin who was looking equally shocked at him.

"S-sorry!" They both span around and realised they were in a vast white expanse. "What… Where are we?" Naruto mused.

"**Don't mind me. Really… you two just go with the flow." **A familiar voice (to Naruto at least) answered him. **"Just pretend I'm not here and eat her out. Seriously you'll both enjoy it." **

"W-w-w-what?" Rin exclaimed. "Who are you?!"

"Asmodea?" Naruto blinked. "Why are we in my mindscape?"

"**Because the two little Arcangus wanted to have a face to face." **Asmodea shrugged. "**By the way if you think of clothes you'll wear them.' **

"Ah!" Naruto grinned as he found himself wearing his usual school uniform and Rin was wearing a shrine maiden's outfit.

"W-why am I wearing this?" Rin asked.

"**Good choice. She looks sexy as hell in that." **Asmodea gave a thumbs up.

"N-Naruto?"

"Sorry," He bowed apologetically. "I guess this place just responds to my subconscious." He walked towards the sounds of fighting, Asmodea and Rin close behind.

_"She loved me more and you know it!"_

_"Onee-sama loved me. That's why she lay with me every night!"_

_"Some symbol of purity you are! You merely prayed on Michaela-sama's good nature to get her to sleep with you! She loved me!"_

_"She pitied you!"_

"Huh," Naruto crossed his arms as the loli Raphael grappled with another loli Arcangus with long flowing blond hair (that Raph was using to try and strange her with) and wearing a beautiful white dress. "I'm guess that's Gabriella. I would have thought that being Arcangus meant they would both get along."

"**Yup," **Asmodea smirked. **"The so called Arcangus of Purity. I say so called because she was involved in an incestuous relationship with her older sister, the Arcangus of Humility and First amongst equals, Michaela. Fun fact, Raph also has a massive crush on her. Go figure." **

"Aren't you going to help?" Naruto asked.

"**Why would I? Sure Raph and I get along to a certain extent but she is still an Arcangus… That being said I am the Damus of Corruption and Gabriella is the Arcangus of Purity so I guess that's a good enough reason for me to help Raph… but she seems to have everything under control." **Asmodea snorted as Raphael head butted Gabriella in the face.

"So…" Rin glanced at Asmodea as Naruto trudged over to the two angels fighting. "Are you like a demon?"

"**Damus yes. Basically Naruto is a half alien and has a Damus from his alien side and an Arcangus from his human side. You are pure human and only have an Arcangus." **

"Do all humans have them?"

"**Any human can have one but there are only seven around at a time, unlike Damus where there are no limit to the number of Damus seals." **

"Why?"

"**When the seals were first formed, the Damus put huge chunks of their souls into the seals. These soul fragments were able to absorb the host energies and use that to create more fragments, although admittedly watering down the amount of the Damus soul in each seal. Arcangus only put the smallest fragment of their souls into the 'Crests' to ensure their purity but this also means they can never make any more. There are only seven fragments of Arcangus souls in this reality and they can't split whereas there is the potential for all compatible races to have Damus ones but they are… less pure." **

"What does that mean?"

"**Raph is pretty much the same as she was when she was a whole Arcangus rather than the fragment she is today. Admittedly her interactions with all her hosts will have changed her but she is still ultimately the same. I am the collection of all the lust and warped fantasies of previous hosts with only the slightest trace of the true Asmodea's personality. If you were to meet another bearer of the seal of Asmodea, the Damus fragment in that seal could be completely different to me and if you ran into my original form… Well I was completely different to what I am now." **

"Oh…" Rin blinked. "That's… interesting."

"**Not really. What is interesting is the images I'm putting in your head." **

"W-what?" Rin went bright red.

"**Oh and by the way. Those are all real." **

"Why would you show me that?" Rin couldn't help but feel slightly intrigued by the images of Naruto she had received.

"**You seemed unsure about your feelings so I figured whilst your minds were linked I'd help you make up your mind. Don't listen to Gabriella. She was so warped by Michaela that she wouldn't know a good person if he slapped her on the ass and made her have a time out." **

"What?" Rin blinked.

"You spanked me!"

"Well you wouldn't stop fighting. Now sit down and think about what you've done." Naruto remarked.

"Haha!" Raph stuck her tongue out at the pouting Gabriella.

"And no anime for a week!" He pointed at Raphael.

"But… But…" Raphael whimpered.

"Now then," Naruto cleared his throat. "Are you both finished?"

"Yes…" The two Loli angels bowed their heads.

"**SNEAK ATTACK!" **

"ARGH!" Gabriella cried out in pain as Asmodea dive kicked her in the stomach.

"Seriously?" Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"**What? We are still at war you know." **Asmodea pointed out whilst she tried to strangle Gabriella with her own hair.

* * *

The blast cleared, revealing a panting Rin and a smiling Naruto.

"Huh…" Rin smiled. "That was… Huh..." She collapsed into Naruto's arms as their bokuto exploded into shards, unable to cope with the energy that had been forced through them.

"What the…" Naruto glanced at his bokuto. Whilst the wood had been destroyed, its absence revealed a strange bone like sword hilt. When he channelled his energy into it, it seemed to drink it up and formed a solid blade of bright blue light. "What the hell?"

'_Ah that's a Tenshi Blade! That's fortunate. It will allow you to store energy to power my aura!'_

"Why the hell did Bunta give me this hidden in a bokuto? Did he know it was in there?" Naruto narrowed his eyes. "If he did how did he get hold of an ancient Arcangus artefact? And why didn't you mention anything until know? That would have been useful when fighting Orochi!"

'_In my defence… Have you ever actually wielded that weapon since I was completed?'_

'_I guess not.' _Naruto admitted as he deactivated the thin blue blade.

"Well…" Saki chuckled. "It appears you tired Rin out."

"Eh?" Naruto realised he was holding the unconscious Rin.

"Allow me," Hanabi took Rin from him, carrying her in a bridal style.

"I suppose that means we have our winners," Saki smiled. "By the way… the party is a fancy dress one. Tell your class mates!" Saki waved as she left, Aya and Hanabi close behind.

"Naruto?" Yui frowned.

"Yeah?"

"How long are you planning to stand there?" Yui frowned. "If we hurry we can get changed and make it to the last class of the day."

"…Never change Yui," Naruto laughed fondly as the pair took off, leaving behind a small red sports drink container completely forgotten.

"Time to clean up after my mistress." Hanabi wandered into the room. "What is this?" She picked up the sports drink. "To Naruto from Momo? It appears that littering is one of that piece of human trash's other failings as a human."

"What are you doing?" Rin asked as she entered the room.

"Rin-dono," Hanabi bowed her head. "You should be resting."

"I am fine, I just got a little excited is all," Rin coughed weakly. "I am a little thirsty though. Is that water?"

"Allow me to test it." Hanabi took a small sip. "It appears fine. Some sort of fruit juice."

"Ah great." Rin took a sip. "This tastes really nice."

"I wet the bed until I was seven." Hanabi stated before looking horrified and covering her mouth.

"I had a dream involving Naruto last night that I really enjoyed. Especially the erotic parts." Rin looked equally horrified and covered her mouth.

"I hate the fact that Saki-sama seems to hold Naruto is high regards and doesn't realise how much I love her." Hanabi went ashen.

"What is going on?" Rin wailed. "The dream involved Naruto over powering me in a fight and dominating me." She tried to force her mouth shut.

"It must be the drink!" Hanabi declared. "I would be willing to have a threesome with Naruto if it gave me a chance of having sex with Saki-sama."

"This drink is dangerous!" Rin froze in horror. "It must have worn off…"

"Fortunately we both only had a small sip." Hanabi glanced at Rin. "This never happened."

"Agreed." Rin shivered.

"I should dispose of this…" Hanabi paused. _'If this forces people to confess their deepest secrets then maybe if I trick Naruto into drinking it… He'll reveal his true intentions to Saki-sama and she will see him for who he is.' _She grinned evilly.

* * *

A small group of costumed students made their way towards the Tenjouin manor chatting excitedly. The moon was in the sky and the stars were clearly visible.

"I don't believe I am going to meet Kyouko-chan!" Lala beamed. She was dressed as a succubus, wearing a tight black bikini and small black horns with her tail freely flapping behind her.

"Once again, you do remember you've met her before and that I am her friend right?" Naruto sighed. He too was wearing a demon costume. His consisted of similar horns to Lala but only wore combat pants that were torn, showing off his calves. His newly acquired tail was on display, almost looking as if it was wagging.

"All hail the manly sage!" Kenichi declared as he hopped around the aforementioned dressed up as a monkey. "It is thanks to him that we get to enjoy this party!"

"I'm glad you won Uzumaki-san." Haruna smiled. She was wearing a black cat mast and was wearing cute cate ears and a black skinsuit with a tail that actually moved (courtesy of Lala's genius). She was kind of hurt that Naruto seemed unwilling to look at her but assumed that as he was with Lala and Yui it wouldn't be proper to stare at her.

"W-well," Naruto grinned embarrassed. "I couldn't let everyone down. "Plus I get to see the girls all dressed up. You all look great by the way."

"T-that doesn't make me feel happy," Nana declared, a blush on her cheeks. She was wearing a maid's outfit with cat ears that reacted to her mood as well as a tail cover in the style of a cats.

"Truly," Kenichi nodded sagely, "Truly to see the girls in such sexy costumes… I am blessed to be your apprentice oh master!" Kenichi kneeled before Naruto. "Right Rito?"

"Er… Yeah," Rito mumbled. He couldn't help but keep staring at Haruna's outfit. It hugged her figure perfectly and left little to the imagination, yet somehow still gave the cute and innocent feeling that she always seemed to radiate. "The girls do look nice."

"That they do," Naruto smiled softly as he looked at the other girls. Risa was wearing a nurse's uniform that was equipped with a ridiculously short skirt, Momo was also dressed as a maid although her skirt was actually longer than Nana's. As if catching his confused expression she leaned towards him.

"The dress is quite easy to rip off," She whispered. "If you get the urge."

"Er… R-right." Naruto gulped to control his surging emotions. Ever since Fu messed with his seal he was finding it harder than usual to control himself around the girls.

"Are you sure Tenjouin-san won't mind us tagging along?" Mikan asked as she followed the group with Yami. Mikan was dressed up as a magical girl (which had both Naruto and Lala admitting she was super cute and hugging her much to her delight) whereas Yami was wrapped in bandages that only showed her eyes which looked thoroughly bored as usual.

"Just let her try and stop us!" Kushina declared proudly as she adjusted her black leather corset. She too had chosen to go as a demon, adding stockings and a corset to Lala's original costume. The resultant effect was that Naruto found himself unable to look at her for too long lest his recently upgraded devilukian urges decide to have his way with her in public. Fortunately Yui was there to keep him under control.

Speaking of Yui she was wearing a form fitting police outfit, the only outfit Momo had been able to convince her to be seen in public in. Whilst it didn't show off as much as Momo would have liked (she was of the opinion that if Naruto could see her in all her sexy glory he would rip her clothes out and introduce her to the world of pleasure that had resulted in Risa limping in a pleasure induced dream state for at least twelve hours.)

"Saki-chan said we were welcome to join," Mikado smiled. She was wearing her lab coat and had used static electricity to make her hair wild and crazy before dying it a bluey grey colour. She was also carrying a strange remote of some sort with a glowing green bulb on it.

"Wow…" Mikan blinked as they approached the mansion. "Tenjouin-san is really rich."

"Well if you want to know how much money the Tenjouin have," Risa smiled at Mikan, "They are the fifth largest business in the world. The Namikaze Estates are the ninth largest and the Momioka fall somewhere around the 34th position."

"W-wow." Mikan blinked.

"So that means that Naruto is loaded as well?" Rito tilted his head.

"Not really," Naruto shook his head. "Most of the Namikaze money is locked up in the company until I reach 21. Even Jiraiya can only access the emergency funds."

"Which is fortunate otherwise he would have bankrupted the company building Onsen and pervy swimming pools." Kushina snorted "Although admittedly his lingerie range is a best seller so he isn't a complete drain on Finances."

"Unlike us," Naruto remarked. "Seeing as neither of us work but we get our food and housing paid for by Jiraiya."

"Using your money though," Kushina countered. "Still I doubt there will be much time for you to get a job. Wait a second I'm a teacher! I should be getting paid!"

"You've only just realised you've been working for free?!" Yui blinked.

"Well… I got to see Naruto hot and sweaty…" Kushina started to pant, "Oh yes… And in the shower… Hehehehe…" She started to drool.

"W-w-what?" Mikan asked. "What happened in the shower?"

"I'm sure it is not for young ears to hear." Yui shot Kushina a warning glare.

"All I did was peek on him!" Kushina defended herself.

"So I wasn't just hearing things." Naruto sighed. "I could have sworn I could sense someone watching me shower. I always assumed it was an assassin waiting for me to drop my guard so he could attack me."

"But you must be fairly well off in order to not miss the payments." Rito pointed out.

"Jiraiya sorts out all of our expenses and gives us a bit of spending money every month," Kushina shrugged. "I guess we do have the assets of the Namikaze and Momioka at our disposal but I never had much of a head for business."

"It's kind of a shame that we have all these assets and I haven't the slightest how to effectively use them." Naruto admitted. "I just assume that the board of directors knows what it is doing."

"But Saki-chan is good with business right?" Lala asked.

"I'd think so," Naruto chuckled. "She pretty much runs the Tenjouin's Japanese assets whilst her father works on international deals."

"So just marry her!" Lala declared. "Then she can run all of your businesses!"

"The Namikaze, Tenjouin and Momioka estates all united?" Risa shivered. "That would be one hell of an economic powerhouse."

"I can't just marry someone to get them to do my job for me," Naruto sighed.

"R-right!" Mikan cut in. "Marriage should be for love!"

"Like ours," Risa leaned towards Naruto until a growl from Lala caused her to back away.

"It. Doesn't. Count." Lala stated bluntly.

"As far as Earth is concerned it does," Risa stuck her tongue out.

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "Hurry up and marry me Naruto! Then you can marry everyone else including Saki! But save your proper marriage to Risa for last." She grinned evilly.

"Careful Risa, I think you are heading for a Bad End." Momo warned her with a small smirk.

"Wait… Naruto can marry multiple people?" Mikan blinked.

"Well he is planning to be the emperor of the Galaxy," Lala proudly announced. "It is expected of the Emperor to have many wives!"

"Really?!" Kenichi clenched his fists. "Manly Sage… No…. You have surpassed the mortal level of manliness. You are truly… A Manly God!"

"He certainly has god-like stamina," Risa sighed.

"I know!" Lala clapped her hands. "I was expecting him to be lacking there because he is human but looks like his alien heritage is shining through!"

Whilst Rito, Mikan and Haruna went bright red at the insinuation, Kenichi was unsurprised at his master's sexual conquests and more interested in another item brought to their attention.

"Alien heritage?" Kenichi blinked.

"My mother was devilukian apparently." Naruto shrugged.

"Ah I see." Kenichi nodded. "As expected. A being of such concentrated manliness couldn't have originated from Earth!"

"I never knew that," Haruna sounded a little hurt.

"I didn't until recently," Naruto shrugged.

"Ah," Haruna seemed somewhat appeased by this. _'But usually I would be the first to hear everything involving you. I didn't even know you were a Namikaze until now… What happened to us? We used to be so close but now… Now you are leaving me behind.' _She stared at the ground sadly.

"Welcome!" Saki smiled as they entered the mansion. She was wearing a Victorian style military jacket with an elasticated belt to make sure that it hugged her impressive figure tightly. She smiled revealing Vampiric fangs before ushering them into the main ballroom area where Yui and Naruto had their date. There were decorations all around and several large tables full of food. "Welcome to my home!"

"Thanks for having us," Naruto smiled at her.

"You are looking most impressive," Saki smiled as she took in his appearance. "You can sure tidy up nicely."

"Well you haven't seen me at my best yet," Naruto smiled. "Although you have a gift for _catching _me at my worst."

"Now, now," Saki idly dismissed the subtle reference to her kidnapping of him, "I am sure we can move forward as friends." She extended her hand.

"Sure," Naruto smiled as he shook her hand. "A man can never have too many pretty female friends."

"To speak of another woman's beauty in the presence of your girlfriend?" Saki raised an eyebrow.

"Not to mention his wife." Risa sighed.

"And his real first wife, not including his fake earth wife." Lala shot Risa a glare.

"What an interesting life you live!" Saki laughed shrilly. "I hope you enjoy tonight's festivities!"

"I'm sure we will." Naruto smiled as his group went inside.

"Naruto-san," Rin bowed as she welcomed Naruto inside.

"Rin-chan?" Naruto blinked. "You're wearing a shrine maiden's outfit?"

"W-well," Rin looked embarrassed. "Saki-sama advised me to make a few modifications to the original design."

"So I can see," Naruto smiled. The outfit left most of her arms and legs uncovered as well as revealing considerably more cleavage than the outfit in Naruto's imagination had. "You look really good."

"T-thanks," Rin bowed her head. "I figured this was the least I could do after… Well..."

"It's alright." Naruto beamed. "Just the fact we are talking again is fine though."

"I… That is good." Rin suddenly looked off into the distance. "It appears Motemitsu-san is trying to seduce Saki-sama to gain entrance to the event. I shall go have a few words with him." She gripped a bokuto tightly. "I hope you all enjoy tonight's proceedings."

"We will!" Kenichi declared before wandering off to look at all the costumes, occasionally muttering a prayer of thanks to Naruto-sama.

"Hey let's dance!" Lala declared and went to drag Naruto to the dance floor until a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Well look who it is!"

"Kyo-chan!" Naruto brightened as his childhood friend approached them. "I haven't seen you in a while!"

"Oh," Kyouko laughed, "I've been busy filming. I hope you haven't been getting into too much trouble."

"Just the usual amount," Naruto laughed weakly.

"You do know you can call me whenever you need any help." Kyouko took his hands.

"I know but you are busy with your show."

"Hey, we are the twin terrors right!" Kyouko smiled. "Partners in crime! Give me a call and I'll drop everything and stand by you."

"Thanks Kyo-chan," Naruto beamed.

"Kyaa!" Lala cheered. "Kyouko-chan!"

"Hi Lala." Kyouko gave a cry of alarm as Lala dragged her off and chattered excitedly about the Magical Girl Kyouko show with her.

"For someone with a university level intellect she sure seems to like childish shows." Yui remarked.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Naruto chuckled. "Would you rather her be all serious and boring?"

"No…" Yui smiled. "Lala is Lala."

"Right," Naruto took her hand, "Care to dance?"

"I… I'm not the best…" Yui mumbled.

"I recall differently." Naruto lead her to the dance floor, "Just try not to run away this time." Naruto smirked impishly.

"I-Idiot." Yui blushed as the two stared dancing.

"So…" Kushina and Mikado took a table and ordered drinks. "You think he's going to stamp Yui's card tonight?"

"Naruto?" Mikado smiled. "Unlikely. He is waiting for Yui to make the first move."

"Bah that girl will never confess that she wants to do something 'shameless' or 'immoral'."

"Sex doesn't have to be like that though," Mikado pointed out.

"But… Isn't that half the fun?" Kushina grinned as her cocktail was delivered. "All the real kinky stuff is frowned upon in polite conversation but it gives sex that extra little umph."

"I know what you mean," Mikado took her cocktail from the waitress and watched Naruto and Yui dancing. "Although I also find the pure outlook to be interesting. Yui and Naruto don't feel the need to rely on sex to express their affection."

"I can show Naruto how I feel for him in things other than sex," Kushina defended herself.

"Oh?" Mikado smiled mischievously, "Like how?"

"I…" Kushina faltered. "Er…"

"Lala and Momo help him expand and maintain his love life, I help him out when he gets hurt, Risa and Yui are of his age and help him understand girls and deal with the pressures of school. Even Mikan-chan cooks his food for him. So besides sex… what do you have to offer him?"

"I can fight beside him," Kushina clenched her fists. "I used to be pretty strong before I lost my Arcangus aura."

"You lost it?"

"I had a child and she received it."

"What happened to her?"

"She was kidnapped." Kushina scowled. "Lala has her scouts looking for any clues but… It's been a good twelve years. Even if they did find her… Would she even want to meet me? The mother who has been absent her whole life."

"I'm sure she is fine and is eagerly awaiting your reunion." Mikado smiled. "But as for your missing power… I'm sure I can work something out."

"For real?" Kushina grinned. "That's be great! I can picture it now… Our enemies scattered before us… He turns to me, his armour destroyed and the heat of passion in his eyes… Hehehehe…" Kushina wiped the drool from her mouth.

"His battle weary body needing a tender touch…" Mikado had a faraway look in her eyes. "And maybe a not so gentle touch." She smiled.

The two woman sighed blissfully as they fantasied over the man who had claimed their hearts.

* * *

"What do you think Kushina and Mikado are talking about?" Risa asked as she drank her fruit punch, sat on a table with Mikan, Rito, Haruna, Momo and Nana. Yami hovered behind Mikan, looking like she wanted to return to the shadows she usually inhabited but staying since Mikan had asked her to and Yami had no intention of upsetting Mikan. Whilst Yami didn't use terms like 'friendship' she had to admit she found the younger Yuuki sibling to be pleasant company.

"Probably something about breasts," Nana scowled. "Those damn udder monsters."

"Don't go hating others for being better than you," Momo was sure to thrust out her larger chest as she spoke.

"You're the worst!" Nana grumbled. "If we are twins why did you get all the breast size? Did you steal it from me?! Give them back!"

"Breast size isn't everything right?" Mikan interjected.

"That's right." Yami nodded. "Breasts are an unwelcome hindrance when climbing through a tight air vent."

"Well there is that," Mikan laughed, "But some people actually prefer smaller chests."

"Oh?" Nana paused. "Do you think Naruto is like that? Not that I care of course."

"God damn," Momo exclaimed glancing at her D-Dial. "The Tsundere readings are off the charts!"

"I'm not a Tsundere!" Nana's cat tail went rigid and her ears stuck off of her head as she started hissing at Momo.

"Course not," Risa smiled.

"Everyone's picking on me," Nana sulked, her ears and tail flopping dejectedly.

"Aren't you kind of jealous that Naruto is spending today with Kotegawa-san?" Haruna asked.

"Not really," Risa shrugged. "I live with Naruto so get to spend more time with him than Yui does. It's only fair that she gets some time alone with him."

"Besides he's still to tap that ass." Momo grinned.

"Momo-san?" Rito cleared his throat. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you act so differently around everyone else?"

"Oh that," Momo's face suddenly went peaceful. "I am always polite and courteous."

"Hah!" Nana scoffed. "She only puts that act on for people she wants to manipulate. The fact you see her true evil form is probably a form of respect. At least for the girls."

"Right," Momo nodded. "The reason I don't pretend around you Rito-san is because bluntly, I don't really register your presence most of the time."

"Argh!" Rito flinched. "Did you have to be so harsh?"

"I thought she was being lenient," Mikan smirked at her big brother's despair. "She didn't actually list your faults although I suppose the night is only so long."

"Not you too Mikan." Rito sighed.

"I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could think of some good qualities for you." Mikan patted him on the arm.

"Don't do me any favours," Rito chuckled softly as he ruffled her hair, much to Mikan's annoyance.

"Yuuki-kun has plenty of good qualities." Haruna tried to defend him. "He… He is really good at caring for plants."

"Well… there is that I suppose," Momo acknowledged. "Anything else?"

"Well… Yuuki-kun is a good person." Haruna mumbled whilst Rito went bright red at the praise.

"Huh," Momo leaned forward. "Sounds almost like you have a soft spot for Yuuki-chan here?"

"Ah!" Haruna went bright red. "Er… Not really… I mean… I… I need the bathroom…" She quickly retreated her face aflame whilst Rito slumped in his chair.

"Man could he be any more obvious," Nana remarked. "Look at him, moping because the girl he likes didn't agree that she likes him."

"Really? Of all the people to say something it's you?" Rito snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nana growled.

"It's so obvious that you like Naruto but all you do is put on a whole 'I don't like him but I really do and I'm hoping that he notices because I am too proud to admit my feelings first' persona." Rito crossed his arms. "The worst thing is that Naruto would definitely accept your feelings but you still put on this act! Me on the other hand… You heard her… She doesn't like me like that."

"Or maybe, just maybe, she is a Tsundere," Nana suggested.

"Nope that's your thing," Momo replied automatically.

"Or more realistically she is just too embarrassed to admit her feelings for you because she doesn't want to ruin your friendship with Naruto," Mikan suggested.

"Eh?"

"Well think about it," Momo nodded. "We all know Naruto confessed to Haruna and was turned down. Maybe she is worried that if she makes the first move it will ruin her friendship with Naruto?"

"There is that…" Rito looked like a man who had just seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

"There's only one way to find out!" Momo laughed. "Go and ask her!"

"R-right!" Rito stood up. "I'll go do that!" He ran off into the crowd.

"So we all know he's not going to do it," Momo glanced around the table.

"Not a chance in hell," Risa shook her head.

"Probably not," Mikan agreed. "My big brother is kind of useless like that."

"Oh well…" Momo paused. "Drinks please." She called to a passing maid.

"Of course," Hanabi lowered a tray with drinks and put them in front of everyone. "Would I be right in assuming that Naruto Uzumaki will be at this table?"

"Yup," Momo nodded.

"This here is a special drink for him from Saki-sama." Hanabi put the cup on the table. "She said it is of the upmost importance that Naruto drinks it and no one else."

"Got it." Momo watched her walked away. "Well we all know that drink is poisoned."

"R-really?" Mikan looked terrified.

"Yeah that maid has it in for Naruto," Momo grinned evilly. "But not to worry. I have _plans _for her."

The girls all huddled together as Momo looked truly terrifying.

"Oh yes." Momo smirked as she watched Hanabi waiting some tables. "Such wonderful plans."

* * *

Naruto and Yui danced to slow music, their bodies held close together.

"This reminds me of our first date," Naruto whispered into her ear.

"Y-yeah?" Yui tried not to stutter but the sensation of Naruto's hot breath on her neck made her shiver all over. She found herself struggling to focus on the dance and instead found herself revelling in his presence, the warmth as if his soul was reaching out to her, telling her she was safe and surrounding her in a protective cocoon of his energy. She wondered if any of the girls ever felt this close to him, even when they were having sex. Right now she felt as if their very souls were intertwined. Who needed to have such a crude connection as a physical one when your spirits are joined?

"I wonder what would have happened if Lala hadn't gotten me to go on that date," Naruto mused. "She seems to know me better than I know myself at times. She knew that I loved you but I had closed myself off after Haruna… you know."

"Yeah, I know." Yui placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I'm kind of glad though."

"Oh?"

"If Haruna hadn't have turned you down… I might not have gotten to feel this happiness." Yui smiled as they danced.

"True," Naruto chuckled. "Maybe it was for the best eh?"

"Right." Yui smiled as the two danced. Naruto keeping his hands on his waist as they twirled through the night. Her smile suddenly froze as she felt something slowly creeping up her inner thigh. "N-Naruto!"

"Yes?" Naruto whispered softly in her ear.

"Ah…" She gasped as she felt the creepy sensation reach her underwear and start to tease her. "N-Naruto…"

"What is it?"

"Your… Ah…"

"Yui?"

"Tail.." She bit her lip as a sudden pleasure surged through her body. One she had never felt before. Her legs went to jelly and Naruto caught her.

"Yui?!" Naruto picked her up bridal style and raced out to the mansion's garden. "Do you need some fresh air?!"

"Tail!"

"Eh?" Naruto glanced at his tail. "W-what!" He pulled it away, noting how it was slightly damp and shiny in the moon light. "Yui… Did I…"

"Yes…" Yui looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry… I'm so shameless…"

"You are not." Naruto looked her in the eyes. "No matter what you will never be shameless…Not to me." He glared at his tail. "I didn't realise that this thing had a mind of its own. I'm sorry if I ruined the date."

"No. It… It wasn't entirely unpleasant," Yui mumbled with a slight blush. "It… With you it…" She looked at the floor. "I wouldn't be against… continuing…"

"Yui…" Naruto's hands trailed down her waist. "Are you sure?"

"If… If you want to…"

"I've always wanted to show you how much I love you," Naruto whispered and leaned forward to kiss her.

"H…Help me…" A rasping voice croaked from some bushes in the mansion grounds

"Shouldn't you investigate that," Yui asked.

"…Damn it." Naruto pulled away from her. "Someone had better be dying." They made their way to the bush were another couple were laid. They looked like a boy and girl from his class but their skin looked as if all the moisture had been sucked out of it.

"They look severely dehydrated. Can you go get Mikado?"

"On it!" Yui ran off.

"What happened?"

"Naked… Woman…" The boy fainted.

"Well this is suspicious," Naruto growled.

"So you are the heresy."

"What?" Naruto stood up and found himself staring at a naked woman. Her skin looked to be cracked and sand-like and she had a long ponytail of blood red hair. The only thing covering her body was a set of tribal looking blue tattoos. Her face had the tattoos across her eyes and on her arms and legs in strange tribal markings. A strange seal was drawn on her chest with the tattoo going over her nipples. A much smaller seal was on her perfectly smooth crotch area. "Er… Do you want to put some clothes on? It is kind of a cold night."

"I have no need for such things," The naked tattooed woman declared. "I am Shukaku of the Sands. First Knight of Gid's Holy Army."

"That sounds impressive, I could actually hear you capitalise the first letter of each word there."

"Do you mock me heresy?"

"I have a name."

"And no doubt it is befitting a heresy such as yourself."

"Whatever Nude."

"Pardon?"

"If you are just going to call me Heresy then I'm calling you Nude."

"It matters little." Shukaku put her hand on a tree and it withered away into dust. "My touch can strip a person of all their water. What defence can you possibly have against that?"

"Well first," Naruto smirked. "I just have to make sure you don't touch me and second…"

"Second?"

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki… And Mine is the crest of Raphael!" Naruto smirked as the blast of blue energy forced Shukaku back slightly. "Impressive no?" Naruto stretched the six Arcangus wings and adjusted the ghostly chain mail.

"I am unafraid of your power." Shukaku calmly replied as she slammed a foot on the ground turning all of the greenery around them into a desert in a matter of moments. "For when can steal the very essence of life what does one have to fear from mere energy?"

"How about this?" Naruto grinned as he activated his Shoten technique before kicking off towards Shukaku, appearing suddenly in front of her with a fierce kick to her face that knocked her flying off into the undergrowth. "Huh… I wasn't expected that to be quiet that effective."

"Tch," Shukaku emerged from the rapidly drying plants, rubbing a spot on her face where the skin had cracked. "Mere physical attacks won't stop your end, Heresy." She rubbed her skin and the damage started to repair itself. "If you cannot get past my shell you can never damage my core. My Sand Shell ability renders me impervious to damage."

"We'll see." Naruto grinned.

* * *

"Oh hello," Mikado smiled as Yui walked up to the united Harem Lord's League (Patent Pending). "Naruto forget protection?"

"W-what?" Yui went crimson.

"Oh my…" Momo sniffed. "Is that… Did you?" She looked stunned. "Oh… my… Damus!"

"It's not what you think!" Yui protested.

"What is it?" Lala asked.

"She smells of…" Momo as silenced by a blushing Yui's hands.

"Naruto?" Lala asked and got a 'No' head shake.

"Sex?" Risa asked and got a 'Kind of' head shake. "No way…"

"It's not like that!" Yui protested. "Naruto's tail has a mind of its own!"

"Oh yeah!" Lala laughed. "I was wondering if that would happen."

"Eh?"

"Usually when devilukians go through puberty their tails can start to act like a horny teenager and 'touch up' people the tail's owner is attracted to. I guess since Naruto's dealing with a sudden rush of Devilukian hormones it would be like going through puberty again." Lala explained.

"Oh…" Yui faltered. "Oh wait there were some students who look like they've been drained of water! We need to go help them!"

"Right." Mikado stood up.

"Let's all go! If something is out there targeting students we need to be prepared!" Lala declared. "Besides it would be wise to find Naruto in order to make sure he is okay!"

"Agreed!" The girl's all set off following Yui into the garden.

Several moments later Rito and Haruna walked back up to the table.

"I wonder where everyone went. Oh they left drinks for us." Haruna blinked.

"Yeah," Rito laughed. "Naruto probably got himself into trouble again."

"He always does," Haruna smiled. "Oh this drink looks new." Haruna picked up a full cup and took a sip. "Hmm It's quite fruity."

"So… I was wondering… About what you said…"

"I secretly have a bit of a crush on you." Haruna said calmly before freezing up.

"W…WHAT?" Rito felt as if his fondest dreams had come true.

It was a shame that the next confession she made would shatter that brief happiness.

* * *

"That's annoying." Naruto remarked as he watched the damage he had caused in a furious barrage of punches and kicks fade away to nothing. "It's like you are impervious to damage."

"And my Sand Cocoon renders you impervious to life," Shukaku grinned madly as she reached out towards him and the sand started to surround him.

"Oh no!" Naruto gasped. "What ever will I do? Oh wait… I control wind." Naruto smirked as he flapped the Arcangus wings, causing a severe gust to scatter the cocoon. "Well that was so inconvenient." He launched himself into the air forming a sphere of fast air around him. "And that should stop any sneak attacks from the sand below me."

"We appear to be at a stalemate." Shukaku reluctantly admitted.

"Oh?"

"I cannot attack you but you cannot damage me. Your condensed aura protects you against my moisture drain ability but my hardened armour can regenerate faster than you can destroy it with your wind attacks."

"Yeah about that." Naruto smirked. "Is that really all that the First Knight can do? If so…" Naruto pulled a feather from a wing and squeezed it, forming a shining blue longsword that whistled as if a gentle breeze was present. "This isn't going to go well for you, Setsudan Excalibur!" Naruto slashed at the confused First Knight who staggered backwards, a deep slash in her shell that quickly repaired itself. "Heh… So long as you are in contact with the floor your shell can repair itself?"

"You are surprisingly observant." Shukaku smirked. "But you should have maintained your attack now I know you have a higher damage output than I originally suspected I will have no choice but to reinforce my defence! Tanuki Yosai (A/N: Tanuki Fortress)" The sand started to swirl and rap itself around Shukaku until she was encased inside an eight foot tall sand Tanuki.

"Well that happened," Naruto shrugged as he flew into the air and launched a salvo of rapid wind blades at the sand creature, barely even chipping the armour. "Huh… Guess I should take things up to another level then. I couldn't handle this power before but maybe now I've been upgraded… SHOTEN X2!" Naruto felt a burning pain as his body struggled with the super dense energy. "I… I can deal with this!"

'_What… his power has vastly increased? How can a mortal surpass his own limits unless… No that is not possible. Kurama-hime is the reincarnation of Behemoth…' _"Die Pretender!" Shukaku roared as she fired several spears at Naruto. "Tanuki Yari!"

"Too slow!"

"W-what?" Shukaku blinked as the spears passed through Naruto only for him to fade away, "An afterimage?"

"Kaze Yari!" Naruto grabbed a feather and thrust his palm towards Shukaku, converting the feather into a powerful lance of wind that scored a deep wound on the Tanuki but once again it simply regenerated.

"So long as I am on the floor I am invincible!" Shukaku laughed. "My sand glues me to the floor!"

"Well… Let's see which is better huh?" He plucked a feather in each hand and combined them into a single orb of light. "Round and round she goes…"

"Tanuki Yari!" Shukaku continued throwing the stone spears at Naruto who easily dodged them.

"Let's see if this works!" Naruto grinned wildly as he started to fly rapidly around Shukaku.

"If you are trying to make me dizzy your plan is failing!"

"Try this on for size!" Naruto became a glowing blue blur as he used his power over wind to whip up a localised hurricane.

"W-what?!" Shukaku Tanuki grabbed onto the floor but ultimately was unable to resist the pull of the hurricane and was ripped off of the floor and tossed up into the air.

"Let's see how you like this!" Naruto launched himself at Shukaku, blade in hand and slashed across her before flipping in mid-air and charging again, bouncing around like a ricocheting bullet, ripping chunks out of her armour which each pass. "Hariken Rendan! (Hurricane Combo)"

"D-Damn it! I am the First Knight! My shell shall not falter!"

"Tengoku Hasai Ken!" Naruto grabbed his sword and brought it down in a two handed grip, slicing the Tanuki clean in half and leaving a panting and naked Shukaku glaring at him. The slash even cut the hurricane in half which died out. Naruto soared towards Shukaku, grabbing her and holding her above the ground to stop her armour regenerating.

"My… armour… will… never… break…" Shukaku panted.

"Then I guess I have to take a page out of the eagle's book. If you want to get to the sweet tortoise meat inside…You have to drop it from a height!"

"W-what?"

Naruto rocketed up into the air a good fifty feet before suddenly flipping and rocketing towards the earth, Shukaku held firmly in his grip.

"N-No!" Shukaku struggled but as with the dropped tortoise, knew there was nothing she could do but prepare for the impact.

"Meteor Impact!" Naruto roared as they slammed into the ground, causing a small blast of rubble to roll out from the impact. Naruto kicked away from Shukaku and skidded to a halt several feet away from the still knight. "How… How'd you like that?" Naruto let out a sigh of relief as he released his Shoten. "Man that feels much better."

"Gah!" Shukaku suddenly coughed up blood as she regained consciousness. "What…"

"You lost." Naruto sat down beside her.

"Yet I still live…" She forced herself to her feet.

"Really? You want to go again?"

"No…" Shukaku groaned. "I understand now."

"Right," Naruto nodded. "I'm not a heresy right? So you don't have to try and kill me."

"Perish the thought," Shukaku looked horrified. "I understand now my lord." She kneeled before him. "I was mistaken. Kurama-sama was only the herald of Behemoth-sama. You, my lord, have potential to far surpass even her. You are the true 23rd coming of Behemoth-sama."

"EH?!" Naruto blinked.

"Oh hoh!" Fu's familiar voice drew Naruto's attention as she wandered up to the kneeling Shukaku. "I see you and Shu-chan have made up!"

"What?" Naruto blinked. "I thought you were going on holiday?!"

"I had to make sure she didn't kill you!" Fu crossed her arms. "How irresponsible do you think I am?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Er… Probably not XD." Fu beamed at Shukaku. "So… We good to go home now?"

"I am satisfied." Shukaku bowed to Naruto before standing up.

"Before you go," Naruto interrupted her. "That ability to drain moisture out of things… Can anyone else do it?"

"Yes. My entire family can." Shukaku nodded.

"Right… See because Suna is suffering a drought and…"

"Suna is always suffering a drought Behemoth-sama."

"I know but isn't it supposed to rain once every hundred years or something?"

"The Great Cleansing," Shukaku nodded. "The last one never happened that is true. Do you wish for me to investigate?"

"If you don't mind." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I promised Gaia that I would help her solve the issue."

"Then by your leave I shall investigate," Shukaku bowed her head. "Come Choumei… My God has spoken."

"But Suna…" Fu pouted. "It's all sand and no sea… oh well. I'm still wearing the bikini I bought!" She declared. "But first…" Fu grinned as several seals started glow all around them. "Best repair the damage right?"

"Agreed." Shukaku nodded.

"But you should get off and meet up with your friends." Fu looked at Naruto. "And finish what you started with the Yui girl!"

"But she cannot bare your children. That would be heresy." Shukaku warned him.

"R-right…" Naruto laughed weakly as he raced off. _'I hope she doesn't find out about Lala then… Still… That was the power of the First Knight? Kind of makes me want to fight the second one as well. I'd bet that would be a real workout! Still there's still some time left to enjoy this party! And maybe continue what I started with Yui-chan' _He grinned a million mega-watt smile and made his way back to the table only to be floored by the first thing he heard out of Haruna's mouth as he entered the ballroom.

"Turning down Uzumaki-kun's confession was the biggest mistake I have ever made."

* * *

_Additional Info_

_Power Levels _

Naruto (50% Unsealed)

Base Power: 15  
Damus Power: 60  
Arcangus Power: 25 (Away from Earth) 60 (In Solar System) 75 (On Earth)  
Shoten Max Duration: 10 Hours  
Shoten X2 Max Duration: 10 Minutes  
Combined Aura: 100  
Combined Aura Max Duration: 3 Seconds

Maximum Effective Level: 300 (10 Minutes [Shoten X2], Arcangus Aura, Earth) (Theoretically 360 with Jigoku no Ikari active)  
Maximum Economic Level: 150 (10 Hours [Shoten], Arcangus Aura, Earth) (Theoretically 180 with Jigoku no Ikari active)

Shukaku of the Sand – First Holy Knight

Base Power: 100  
Fortress Mode: 170


	25. Chapter 25: This is Letting Go

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Another chapter! This one finished off the party that happened in the last chapter. Next chapter will probably be the start of Rin's storyline (Which is also Saki's to a lesser extent). Then it will be Nana's chapter.

This chapter was originally the end of the NarutoXHarunaXRito love triangle but has had the ending tweaked to allow for a future story line that was added.

Thanks to my Beta Shinnagami as usual and feel free to leave a review.

Disclaimer: See previouis chapters

* * *

Chapter 25: This is Letting Go.

'_The wind died, the whole ceased to move. _  
_Now so quiet, her beating heart became a boom.  
We locked eyes, for just a moment or two  
She asked why, I said I don't know why, I just know._'

This is Letting Go – Rise Against

* * *

"Damn it!" Naruto (aged 13) groaned as he struggled to climb the tree. Of all the trees in the neighbourhood it would have to be the tallest one. Peering down Naruto felt his pulse quicken, he must have been at least twenty foot in the air but he couldn't stop now: He had a mission. Someone was depending on him!

He glanced to his left and saw his target, a pink kite with a cute dog pattern that was stuck in the branches near the top of the tree. Grunting with the effort, Naruto managed to clamber onto the thickest branch near the thin one that was currently holding the kite hostage and slowly edge his way along it, pausing as the branch started to groan under his weight.

"Almost… Got... It…" He slowly leaned away from the branch he was on, reaching out desperately for the kite that was stuck in its branches. "Got it!" His fingers wrapped around the kite but a sudden gust of wind blew it from his grasp. "No!" Naruto leapt off of the branch and grabbed the kite before falling to back to earth, hitting almost every branch on the way down which whilst painful, did save him from a worse fate as he finally hit the floor in a pile of broken branches and leaves and an unlucky girl who happened to be beneath the tree (although Naruto would have sworn that there was noone there when he last checked).

"Ouch…" Naruto rubbed his rear as he stood up, brushing away the worst of the dirt. "Are you okay miss?"

"I'm fine XD." The mint haired girl laughed. "I'd best be going! Good luck with that kite!" She ran away far quicker than Naruto thought humanly possible, especially considering Naruto had just fallen out of a tree onto her. He made a mental note to make ammends with the girl should he ever see her again.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked before spotting the kite and picking it up, grinning widely and laughing. "Hehehe!" He grinned as he turned his attention to the prize, to see if it had survived the fall in as good of a shape as Naruto had. "Oh no! It's torn!" He scowled as he raced home, the kite protectively clutched beneath his arm.

Passers-by watched him go with smiles on their faces. There wasn't anyone in the local area who didn't know about Naruto and his crush.

"Young love is so sweet," A pair of old woman chuckled to themselves as they watched Naruto sprint home.

"Mum I'm home!" Naruto yelled as she ran into their house. He paused before his father's shrine and bowed, "Hey Dad. I'm home."

"Naruto!" Kushina stepped out of the kitchen. "You are a mess! What happened to you? Did those kids pick another fight with you?" A dark aura surrounded Kushina and she pulled a bloody machete and a baseball bat covered in bloody nails out of nowhere. "Is Shina going to have to cut a bitch?!"

"No I'm fine mum," Naruto smiled. "I was getting Haruna-chan's kite out of a tree."

"…Oh…" Kushina calmed down slightly as she hid the weapons again. "Seriously? Why do you have to go and get yourself hurt for that girl? In a few more years…" She pulled a camcorder tape from her cleavage. "Hehehehe…" She went bright red. "I can't wait."

"Are you okay?" Naruto blinked.

"Soon…" Kushina smiled at him in a way that made his internal alarms scream at him.

"Er… Right…" He walked up to his bedroom and shook his head. "Mum's getting weirder as time goes by. Still I wonder what is on that video. She seems to keep it on her so it must be something really important." He rummaged from the drawers of his desk until he found a small sewing kit and set to work repairing the Kite. "I'll bet Haruna-chan will be super happy when I give her the kite back! She was so upset when it got stuck in that tree." He happily sewed away, wincing as he occasionally stabbed himself with the needle but after much cursing and the application of a fair few plasters the kite was almost as good as new. "I did it!" He grinned as she ran downstairs.

"You're leaving so soon?" Kushina sighed. "I was hoping we get to spend some time together… You hardly ever spent time at home and I am so lonely…" Kushina lounged on the couch.

"Sorry mum, maybe we can watch a film together when I come back? Maybe that tape that you keep on you at all times."

"W-what?" Kushina laughed weakly. "I don't know… "

"If it is important to mum it's important to me," Naruto declared.

"Hehehehehehehe…." Kushina laughed perversely as she passed out with a nose bleed.

"Er… Mum?" Naruto sighed. "I'll be back shortly." He locked the door behind him and set off towards Haruna's house, arriving at the door and anxiously trying to clean himself up before knocking on the door.

"I'd recognise that knock anywhere," The door opened and Haruna's big sister smirked at him. "What can I do for you Naruto-kun?"

"Hello Akiho-san," Naruto bowed his head. "I am here to see Haruna-san if possible."

"Aren't you just the cutest," Akiho ruffled his hair. "Haruna~ your little boyfriend is here to see you!"

"Nee-san!" Haruna's embarrassed voice cried out from the living room, shortly followed by the blushing Haruna. "I am sorry about her Uzumaki-kun."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto's wide grin hid his blush.

"What's a matter?" Haruna asked.

"Ah!" Naruto handed the kite to Sarenji. "I managed to get you your kite back!"

"Really!" Haruna beamed at him. "Thank you so much Uzumaki-kun."

"Oh it was nothing," Naruto laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Your hands…" Haruna blinked. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Oh these?" He chuckled. "It's just a little cut that I got from something else."

"Oh really?" Akiho shook her head. "I notice that the kite has been repaired. I'm guessing you did it?"

"Er... Well I couldn't give it back broken could I?"

"You didn't have to do that for me." Haruna smiled.

"You're kidding right?" Naruto drew himself to his full height. "A hero doesn't half-ass his missions!"

"Yes," Haruna giggled. "You are my hero."

"If you ever need saving, just give me a yell and I'll be there in a flash!" Naruto declared.

"I wish I had a boyfriend as loyal as Naruto-kun here," Akiho sighed. "You are really lucky you know that?"

"Nee-chan!" Haruna blushed furiously.

"Why don't you stay?" Akiho turned to Naruto. "We were just having dinner."

"Oh I couldn't intrude," Naruto smiled.

"We have far too much food anyway," Akiho steered Naruto inside. "And Haruna doesn't mind do you?"

"Of course not!" Haruna smiled at him.

"W-well," Naruto laughed. "If you insist."

"We insist." Akiho shook her head. "Besides, I'm hoping I'll see you around here more."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Haruna-chan doesn't have many friends but I'm glad she's found you." Akiho laughed as Naruto sat at the table where a hearty amount of food was set.

"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "That smells delicious!"

"Haruna-chan really did a good job right?"

"You made this?" Naruto looked at Haruna, "Wow that's amazing! I'll bet it tastes great!"

"W-well," Haruna blushed.

"Well don't just sit there! Tuck in!" Akiho laughed as she split her chopsticks.

"Right!" Naruto beamed as he started to eat. "W-wow. You are an excellent cook!"

"T-thanks."

'_Getting to eat Haruna-chan's homemade food! I could die of happiness!' _As far as he knew, he could not have been happier.

* * *

Naruto leaned against the wall, staring into space blankly. Haruna's shock confession still ringing in his ears. A few months ago hearing that would have made him the happiest guy around. Now though it only caused an old would to resurface. He waited to hear Rito's response but after a few minutes of uneasy silence he decided it was wrong to eavesdrop and walked towards the table, acting as if he hadn't just heard Haruna's revelation.

Haruna had her hands over her mouth with a look of horror in her eyes and Rito was staring into space with dull, lifeless eyes.

"Hey what's a matter with you two?"

"N-Naruto?" Haruna gasped.

"Naruto?" Naruto blinked. "You never call me that? Are you alright?"

"I… I need the bathroom," Rito mumbled as he suddenly got up and ran from the table.

"I er…" She glanced after Rito. "I need… I…" She shook her head.

"What is it?" Naruto sat down.

"Don't!" Haruna looked on the verge of tears. "Don't talk to me! I might say something we'll both regret!"

"Why?"

"I… I can't stop myself from revealing my deepest secrets," Haruna whispered.

"You seem fine."

"Please… I should go home," Haruna stood up.

"Haruna," Naruto grabbed her arm. "You don't have to face this alone you know? I am always here for you. Remember?" He grinned. "I promised."

"But you aren't are you? Ever since Lala showed up you haven't spent any time with me. We used to be inseparable but now… I wish Lala had never shown up!" She covered her mouth a look of horror on her face.

"Haruna…" Naruto blinked. "I never…"

"I have to go!" Haruna set off running, tears in her eyes.

"…Damn." Naruto put his head in his hands. "Have I... Have I messed up somewhere?"

"Well you look thoroughly miserable."

"…Psycho maid," Naruto looked up at the smug looking maid. "You really get a kick out of my misery huh?"

"You are the one who decided to have a harem," Hanabi stated calmly. "You are the one who has to deal with the consequences of that choice."

"…I guess you are right." Naruto leaned on the table. "But I don't have a harem."

"Would you care for a drink?" Hanabi offered him a small cup.

"Is it poisoned?"

"You will not die from drinking it."

"Sure then," Naruto took the cup and took a mouthful. "Huh, this is kind of fruity. What is it?"

"Your downfall!" Hanabi laughed. "What are your thoughts on Saki-sama?!"

"Saki? She's kind of cute but I don't really know her that well why?" Naruto frowned.

"Er… What?" Hanabi took his drink and drank a bit. "I want Saki-sama to spank me then use me for her own sexual gratification." She covered her mouth and glared at Naruto.

"Er… That's…" Naruto blushed and looked away. "I'm not sure what you want me to do about that."

"The truth potion!" Hanabi hissed. "Why didn't it work on you?! It worked on the Sarenji girl."

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes widened. "So that's why she said that. She was under the effects of a truth potion?" He frowned. "Then… Haruna genuinely hates Lala?!"

"Her exact words were that she wished Lala had never shown up," Hanabi countered. "She probably meant that she wishes nothing had come between her and you not that she doesn't like Lala… Damn it the potion is forcing me to say what I think even if that comforts you!"

"Why do you hate me so much?" Naruto smirked.

"Because I am scared that Saki-sama will abandon me because she likes you." Hanabi death glared Naruto.

"You… You really care for Saki huh?"

"She is my world and that is Saki-sama to you!" Hanabi growled.

"Right, right," Naruto waved off her concerns. "Still this drink is dangerous. Is there anymore?"

"It's in the kitchen in a sports bottle that Momo prepared for you." Hanabi blinked. "Damn it all to hell!"

"Momo?" Naruto sighed. "I should have figured she'd have something to do with this. Where is the kitchen?"

"If you leave through the door to the right and carry on down the corridor you can't miss it." Hanabi blinked. "WHY WON'T THIS THING WEAR OFF?!"

"Well I'd best dispose of the drink then," Naruto sighed. "It's caused enough trouble for one day. Thanks. You are kind of cute when you are helpful rather than a hindrance."

"I have had several fantasies involving you and me working together to bring Saki-sama to climax."

"…I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that for both of our sakes."

Hanabi just glared at him as he quickly made his way towards the kitchen.

As he entered, Naruto found himself stunned at the sheer size of the room. It was almost the size of the ballroom itself, full of chefs racing around preparing meals.

"H-who are h-you?" A plump chef with a curly moustache bobbed towards him, somehow managed to pronounce certain words as if they started with an h.

"Er… Naruto," Naruto blinked. "I'm looking for a small red bottle of sports drink?"

"H-Why h-would I have something like that in my kitchens?"

"I was told by Hanabi that…"

"Oh I see…" The chef narrowed his eyes. "Yugito!"

"Yes chef?" A woman with long blonde hair tied up in a long ponytail that travelled down to her waist walked up to them wearing a maid's outfit. She had two blue cat ears poking through her hair and a blue tail lazily swung behind her.

"I recognise you!" Naruto blinked. "You are that assassin that attacked Saki at her beach house!"

"That's Saki-sama to you," The entire kitchen paused to yell at him before resuming its work.

"Wow… Saki sure inspires loyalty in her staff," Naruto chuckled.

"Of course she does," Yugito nodded. "I used to think that my old master Orochimaru was a kind man for granting me this power. But I know see he was only using me. Saki-sama is truly kind… She forgave my attack on her life and gave me a job and a life."

"Really?" Naruto smiled. "Well… I'm glad that you have turned your life around. Wait did you say Orochimaru?!"

"You know of him?"

"I've heard about him," Naruto narrowed his eyes. _'Mikado warned me that Manda had a brother called Orochimaru and that Kimimaro guy also said he served an Orochimaru. Could they all be the same person?' _

"He is a genius when it comes to genetic modifications." Yugito frowned. "He takes in children who have been abandoned and experiments on them but that is a very expensive process and he was planning to ransom and experiment on Saki-sama…" Yugito bowed her head. "It fills me with disgust to know what fate I almost brought upon milady."

"That bastard," Naruto scowled. "I think I need to have a few words with him." Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"The others are all fiercely loyal to him." Yugito continued. "As they see it he gave them all a family and a chance to make a difference. If you plan to fight him be aware you will have to fight them all."

"Not that this isn't interesting but h-when are you planning to leave my kitchen?!" The chef yelled.

"Oh right," Naruto laughed weakly. "So that energy drink?"

"Saki-sama was thirsty and that was the only drink I had to hand." Yugito replied simply. "She was in a hurry because she was about to give a speech to the students gathered in the ballroom."

"…You have got to be kidding me!" Naruto raced out of the kitchen and back towards the ballroom. "Damn it…" He noticed Saki walking up to the stage with the sports bottle. "I hope she hasn't taken a drink of that."

"Naruto!" A small green haired girl hugged him from behind. "It's been so long!"

"Tch," The male students groaned. "He even knows Run-chan?! That bastard!"

"Oh hi…" Naruto smiled uneasily. "How are you Ren?"

"It's Run!" Ran pouted. "Ren isn't here right now."

"Right…" Naruto smiled. "Look I'd love to talk but I need to stop Saki from drinking that energy drink. It's a powerful truth potion."

"Muu…" Run pouted. "You know I had to take a break from my busy schedule just for the chance to see you again? It's almost as if you trying to avoid me."

"Well…" Naruto focused on Saki. "Could you pass me a cup?"

"Of course!" Run passed him a cup.

"Kawarimi," Naruto whispered as the cup in his hand and the red sports bottle swapped places.

"Oh my?" Saki blinked as she noticed. "Well that was odd."

"Mission successful!" Naruto smirked as he checked the sports bottle. "…It's empty!"

"Hello everybody!" Saki beamed as everyone in the ballroom turned to look at her.

"Oh no no no!" Naruto grit his teeth.

"I hope you are all enjoying the party!" She smiled beautifully. "And can we have a loud round of applause for our special guests, Magical Girl Kyouko and Run-chan!"

The crowd cheered.

"Oh that's my cue!" Run laughed. "I am supposed to be performing my new song! You'll listen to it won't you?" She looked at Naruto.

"Er… Sure." Naruto nodded and watched Run race to the stage. _'Well Saki seems fine. Maybe the effect wore off before she did the speech. Best check on her to make sure.' _He paused before slyly creating a clone.

"Sup boss man?" Akuma blinked as he formed.

"I need you to take my place and watch this show of Run's whilst I check on Saki."

"You got it!" Akuma saluted and turned his attention to the show as Naruto snuck through the crowd and through the door that Saki had left via. He followed the corridor until he came to a room that was slightly ajar.

"Saki?" Naruto coughed and knocked on the door.

"Uzumaki-kun?" Saki opened the door dressed in only a loosely fitting dressing gown and carrying a small collapsible fan with the Tenjouin crest on it.

"Ah sorry," Naruto span around.

"You can look you know?" Saki chuckled as she fanned herself. "Is something the matter?"

"That drink… Did you…"

"Oh that was you," Saki smiled. "I wondered why my drink magically changed. Don't worry about it, Hanabi-chan warned me about the effects of that drink."

"Oh thank the gods." Naruto let out a sigh. "I was worried you'd reveal your darkest secrets to the world."

"You were worried for me?" Saki seemed taken aback. "You do remember that I kidnapped you and my maid is responsible for more than a little of trouble you have been in."

"Trust me," Naruto sighed, "Compared to the trouble I get myself into your maid is a welcome distraction."

"I see," Saki smiled gently. "You really do have a big heart don't you?" She walked into her room, "Please enter. I was just having a video call."

"Er… Sure." Naruto stepped inside the room.

"Hello!" A familiar face was on the screen of Saki's laptop.

"Hey I remember you from the ball that time. You are Saki's dad right?"

"That's right!" The man on screen laughed heartily. "So is this the one?"

"This is the one I told you about, yes." Saki nodded.

"Hey Saki," Naruto leaned closer to her so that her father couldn't hear him or read his lips, "Is this going to be one of those scenarios where I have to pretend to be your boyfriend in order to stop you getting married?"

"If I said yes would you play along?"

"Of course," Naruto nodded. "No one deserves to get forced into a marriage."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Oh nothing major papa." Saki smiled. "Naruto-san was offering to pretend to be my boyfriend if you were trying to force me into an arranged marriage."

"Ahahaha!" Her father laughed boisterously. "As if I could force you to do anything."

"Oh…" Naruto laughed weakly.

"No Saki-chan was just telling me about you and Rin-chan have a similar power! It's a small world isn't it?"

"It seems that way." Naruto agreed.

"Ahahaha! Still… What do you think of my daughter?"

"Papa." Saki sighed.

"Well I think that she is a beautiful woman and although I still have some reservations as she has kidnapped me before I think she is a good person and would one day like to add her to my…" Naruto bit his lip.

"Add her to your what?"

"Circle of friends," Naruto forced out. _'What the hell?! I almost said harem! But I don't even have a harem! That potion must be slower acting on me because I am half-devilukean! Also it must be messing with my head because I most certainly do not have a harem. Asmodea, Raph… Can you do anything about it?"_

'_**Nope. And even if I could this has the potential for hilarity so I wouldn't anyway.' **_

'_I could possibly remove the effects of the toxin but Asma—chan has got me tied up.'_

'_**Before you get the wrong idea it isn't sexual… yet.' **_

'_Useful as always.' _Naruto mentally sighed and tuned out Asmodea's evil giggling.

"I see," Her father nodded sagely. "Could you see yourself marrying her?"

"Papa!"

"Definitely." Naruto responded before he could stop himself.

"N-Naruto?!" Saki's eyes seemed to widen. "Did you by any chance drink some of that energy drink?"

"Hanabi got me to drink some." Naruto replied.

"I see," Saki smiled at her father. "I am afraid that Naruto has been poisoned by a powerful truth serum so it wouldn't be fair to question him right now."

"Really?!" There was an evil glint in her father's eyes. "Have you ever masturbated to the image of my daughter?!"

"I respect her too much to use her image in that way. Also I haven't masturbated in several months." Naruto clamped his hands over his mouth.

"N-Naruto…" Saki smiled. "I… Thank you."

"Hm," Her father nodded approvingly. "Several months without relieving yourself. That's somewhat impressive from what I heard about you."

"I don't need to relieve myself I have others who… can provide me with alternate means of release such as physical exercise." Naruto scowled. _'Seems I can twist what I say so long as I don't outright lie." _

"Ah I see. A good jog to clear the mind."

"Now Papa I really must be going," Saki ended the call. "Say Naruto…"

"Yes?"

"Did you really mean that?" Saki looked at him. "That you could see yourself marrying me?"

"Well…" Naruto struggled against the truth serum. "I… There was talk in my family of you being invited to join it as I have no idea how to run a business despite having access to the Momioka and Namikaze resources so I have thought about it but turned the idea down."

"Oh?" Saki raised an eyebrow. "Well that's to be expected I suppose." Her smile seemed a little more brittle to Naruto. "Just an idle curiosity on my part." Saki turned away with a sigh. "I should let you get back to your evening. It was… nice to talk to you in private. I need some time to get changed for my next act and I'd bet you don't want to see me naked." She winked playfully at him.

"I would love to see a woman as beautiful as you naked." Naruto covered his mouth and looked apologetic.

"But you don't want to marry me?" Saki shook her head. "How improper." She chuckled softly to herself.

"I never said I didn't want to. I just felt it wasn't fair to you to try and convince you to love me for the sake of business. Should we fall in love I would want it to be a natural thing. I don't believe that you know me well enough to have any genuine feelings for me."

"…Really?" Saki smiled softly. "Mr Hero?"

"That sounds familiar."

"Allow me to refresh your memory… A dark warehouse, armed Yakuza and one little boy playing hero."

"Ah!" Naruto blinked. "That was your kidnapping right?"

"I never did repay you did I?" Saki stated.

"I don't need payment for saving someone."

"Well I can't force you to accept it," Saki held out her hand, "But I would love for us to get to spend more time together and get to know each other a little better."

"Eh?" Naruto shook her hand. "Why?"

"Controlling the Namikaze and Momioka businesses as well as my own? It sounds too good to be true." Saki smiled. "Plus Rin-chan really likes you so she will enjoy spending more time with you. Last but certainly not least…" Saki smiled at him in a way strangely reminiscent of Lala. "I think I could grow to care about you a great deal. So I'll hang around with you. If it leads to marriage and children then… well we'll see won't we." Saki winked seductively. "But tell Lala… I don't intend to give up the top spot without a fight."

"Saki?" Naruto blinked. "You do realise that I already have several lovers?"

"The fact that you are able to keep several lovers is a promising sign. Either you are truly loving or ridiculously good in bed." Saki laughed pleasantly. "Now if you excuse me… my public awaits!"

"R-right." Naruto shook his head. "I guess I'll see you around."

"I certainly hope so!"

* * *

"I wonder where Naruto is." Lala frowned as they sat back at the table.

"Maybe he was moved by my concert and had to go backstage for an illicit rendezvous?!" Run gasped. "I shouldn't keep him waiting!"

"Keep who waiting?" Naruto asked as he approached the table.

"Ah~ Naruto! Did you enjoy my song?"

"It was good yeah," Naruto nodded, grateful that Akuma had dispelled and given him all of the memories from the performance. "You looked cute in that dress."

"Hehehe!" Run gave the victory sign to Lala who merely stuck her tongue out childishly.

"Did you find what was responsible for those students?" Mikado asked.

"Yeah it was the First Holy Knight," Naruto admitted.

"The first holy knight? Are you sure."

"He is! XD"

"…Fu." Naruto looked up as Fu and an extremely displeased looking Shukaku who was wearing a cloak to conceal her body, walked up to them. "Shukaku."

"My eternal master," Shukaku bowed her head. "I apologise for the disgraceful state I am in."

"Eternal master?" Nana and Momo shared a glance.

"Er… You look fine to me." Naruto blinked.

"But my markings of devotion are obscured by this… this... heresy!" Shukaku scowled as she moved to discard the cloak but was stopped by Fu.

"Wait a minute," Momo cut in, "Since when have you been friendly with the First Knight?!"

"He is the Eternal master of all, Lord Behemoth." Shukaku kneeled down next to the table. "The one true god and rightful ruler of all."

"Well he certainly has me calling his name in prayer." Risa remarked.

"R-Risa!" Yui went crimson.

"Well this was fun but Fu-chan has to escort Shukaku-chan to her home! See you around ;)"

"Okay..." Naruto nodded.

Shukaku glared at the gathered girls.

"Shu-chan~" Fu tugged on her arm.

"… Unworthy," She remarked bluntly causing the assembled girls to flinch.

"W-what?" Lala blinked.

"Oh she's just in a bad mood XD," Fu tugged more forcefully on Shukaku's arm and the two holy knights left.

"Well she's a bitch," Risa remarked bluntly.

"The First Knight of Gid's Holy Order." Mikado shook her head. "Truly a scary person. They say she made an entire planet red with the blood of its inhabitants."

"Lost Paradiso." Lala nodded, "One of the last battles of the Civil war."

"Civil war?" Yui blinked.

"Where my papa and Naruto's mama fought each other." Lala shrugged. "Papa won but couldn't bring himself to kill Kurama since he said she was holding back and nothing made sense."

"Hm…" Naruto closed his eyes recalling the tape on board his mother's spaceship, _'If I remember right mum turned traitor to make all those who were planning to hurt Gid and Sephie reveal themselves and ally with her. I wonder how many people died just so mum could be sure Gid would be safe.'_

"The Ninth knight versus the Emperor of the Galaxy," Mikado shivered. "Those were dark days. The galaxy had just come out of a long civil war only to plunge into another."

"Space is scary," Yui frowned.

"Don't worry," Naruto hugged her to his side "I'll protect you, I'll protect all of you," He turned to the other girls.

"Kyaah!" Run-chan squealed. "I love you too!"

"Oh…" Naruto blinked as Run attached herself to his free side. _'I'd forgotten that Ren/Run was there. Oh well.' _He patted her on the head.

"I didn't know you knew Naru," Kyouko tried to pry the idol from Naruto.

"You two know each other?" Naruto blinked.

"That's right!" Run made the peace sign, "Kyouko-chan and I have worked on a few projects together! I would have never guessed that your Naru-kun was my NarNar!"

"NarNar," Naruto twitched.

"Isn't it just the cutest nickname?" Run squealed. "And you can call me RuRu and our first child will be called Toriko so then he can be ToTo!"

"…What?"

"So our nicknames together make Naruto twice!" Run hugged his arm. "Isn't it sweet?"

"It's certainly something," Naruto laughed awkwardly.

"So…" Kyouko earned herself a metaphorical medal from Naruto when she finally managed to pry Run from his arm. "When did you two meet?"

"Oh I remember it as if it was yesterday!" Run sighed happily. "He saved me and a little puppy from a scary ghost! Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. Hold me NarNar!" She dived at Naruto only to get intercepted by Lala.

"Muu…" Lala stood between the two. "Leave Naruto alone!"

"Make me!" Run narrowed her eyes.

"A ghost…Oh right…When Ren and I were looking around the old school building." Naruto nodded, "But it wasn't a ghost…" Naruto went slightly pale. "Because ghosts aren't real. No way. It's impossible…" He broke out in a cold sweat. "It was a trick of the light!"

"Of course there are!" Lala clapped her hands. "There are plenty of recorded instances of ghosts being sighted throughout the galaxy."

"W-w-w-what?" Naruto gulped. "B-But not here on Earth r-right?"

"Have we just discovered Naruto's weakness?" Mikado smiled.

"Don't worry!" Lala declared. "I'll protect you from the ghosts!"

"I'm n-not scared of any ghosts!" Naruto's pride forced him to stand up.

"Well that is good news!" Saki's voice called out.

"Saki?!" Naruto span around to see the aforementioned, flanked by Rin, Aya and Hanabi.

"That's Saki-sama to you," Hanabi retorted.

"There, there," Saki smiled at Hanabi who blushed slightly and looked away, "There is no need for titles amongst friends right Naruto?"

"Right," Naruto nodded, grateful for the change in topic. "Suffixes make me feel old."

"Is that so…" Rin looked thoughtful. "Naruto…"

"Yes?"

"Naruto…"

"Are you okay Rin-chan?"

"I am fine," Rin looked away. _'S-saying his name in such a familiar fashion… It feels… right.' _

"Anyway," Saki hid her smile behind a small collapsible fan, "I am glad you are not scared of ghosts."

"…Why?" Naruto was already dreading asking.

"Well papa had received a request to investigate a ghost sighting at our school in the abandoned school building." Saki smiled. "Usually Rin-chan, Hanabi and I would go alone, giving her powerful spiritual abilities and Hanabi-chan's… enthusiasm for my defence. This time however the rumours have me worried. I was just telling Papa how your powers were similar and he agreed that it would be wise for you to accompany here."

"…S-s-sure," Naruto went pale and started sweating. "I c-c-can't let y-you f-f-face d-d-dangerous g-g-g-ghosts…"

"…Are you alright?" Saki raised an eyebrow.

"Just fine," Naruto shivered. "I'm just a little sad that I will miss the end of the party."

"Don't worry about that." Saki smiled. "We will have a personal party to celebrate a successful mission! I'll leave the arrangements to you Aya-chan."

"Of course Saki-sama," Aya adjusted her glasses. "I'll get right on it!" She made a beeline towards the kitchens.

"See, you don't have to worry about missing the party!" Saki snapped her fan shut.

"T-that's a relief," Naruto managed to force a smile.

"The time is 9:00 pm," Rin stepped forwards. "Apparently the ghost activity starts in 30 minutes. If we leave now we should arrive at the school with ten minutes to get prepared."

"Ooh a ghost hunt!" Lala's eyes sparkled. "I have loads of gadgets that will be of use!"

"G-ghost hunting?!" Run went paler than Naruto, "Ahaha… I have a meeting with my producer in the morning… Let me know how it goes!"

"Sounds interesting," Mikado smiled. "Maybe I should tag along."

"Nope!" Kushina put her hands in a cross shape. "I'm not going."

"Really?" Mikado glanced at Kushina.

"Do you know how awkward it would be if I ran into Minato's ghost?!" Kushina shivered. "Hey where's our daughter? Er… I don't know. Are you looking after my son? Oh yes… I definitely am…Kushina why are you giggling perversely?" She shook her head. "Why didn't you do that think with your tongue to me? I don't know. Maybe because I have actually had sex with Naruto whereas I think the closest we ever got was a drunk make out session but then you burst into tears because you were 'cheating on Kurama' and then I realised you weren't Naruto and was violently sick. Yes that's right I was lying about it being morning sickness." Kushina paused. "And whilst we are at it Minato don't think I…"

"Okay we get it!" Naruto sighed.

"What tongue thing?" Lala blinked.

"There's this thing where I…"

"There's a time and place." Naruto cut her off.

"What is she talking about?" Nana frowned.

"She means…" Momo whispered something into Nana's ear.

"W-w-w-w-w-what?!" Nana went bright red, steam shooting out of her ears. "T-t-t-t-that…" She passed out.

"Looks like I'm out," Momo smirked. "Someone has to look after Nana."

"I'll go back with Momo-san," Mikan smiled. "Ghosts aren't really my idea of a fun time, plus I think Rito has gone home and I want to check on him."

"Well…" Yui frowned. "Someone has to make sure that you don't get up to something shameless in the school!"

"Yui isn't scared of ghosts?" Naruto blinked.

"Ghosts aren't real," She said dismissively.

"R-right!" Naruto beamed at her. "And Yui-chan is smart so she knows what she is talking about!"

"Hey!" Lala pouted. "I'm smart too!"

"Yeah but you're galactic smart, Yui-chan is Earth-smart and since we are on Earth and this is an earthly matter Yui-chan's opinion counts for more!" Naruto grasped at straws.

"Muu…" Lala crossed her arms. "Naruto is a big bully."

"Eh?"

"No force on Earth can split up the terrible twosome!" Kyouko gave Naruto a thumbs up. "I got your back partner. I'll burn away any ghosts!" She conjured a small ball of flame on her finger.

"Kyo-chan!" Naruto beamed at her.

"Meh," Risa shrugged. "I've no interest in this. Plus I'm kind of sleepy after eating all of that food." She rubbed her stomach. "Excellent food by the way." She nodded to Saki.

"I shall pass your compliments onto my catering staff," Saki smiled.

"So the team consists of myself, Saki-sama, Hanabi-san, Naruto…" Rin paused slightly savouring the sound of his name without any suffixes, "Kotegawa-san, Lala-san, Kyouko-chan and Mikado-san?"

"Go team ghostbusters!" Lala declared.

"I'll have your father drop off some uniforms at the school for us to get changed into." Saki glanced at Rin who nodded.

"Uniforms?" Naruto blinked.

"Oh I think you'll like them!" Saki beamed.

* * *

"Yup," Naruto nodded. "You were right. I do like them." The girls were all dressed up in shrine maiden's outfits, although the skirts were quiet short. The only exceptions were Mikado who was wearing her usual lab coat and Hanabi who was dressed up in military fatigues with an assault rifle slung over her shoulder and a SMG held firmly in her hands.

"Hehe," Lala twirled around. "I like these! Can we keep them?"

"Of course," Saki smiled. "Consider it payment for helping."

"Yatta!" Lala cheered.

"Why is the skirt so short?!" Yui blushed as she tried to stretch the skirt down.

"Is there a problem Kotegawa-san?" Rin asked.

"It's so… shameless! You can see my underwear if I twirl around!"

"The reduced length of the skirt prevents the fabric getting caught whilst still allowing enough movement to prevent being a hindrance." Rin shrugged. "I never really thought about the underwear issue as I usually only carry out these mission with Saki-sama and Hanabi-san. Sometimes Aya would accompany us as well although that is a rarity."

"They were designed by an expert in the powers that Rin-chan has. He even gave us a reduced price saying it was an honour to supply the next holder of Purity," Saki smiled. "The reason I wanted everyone to wear them is because I thought Naruto would like to see you all wearing them."

"…Guilty," Naruto admitted. _'And why do I have a bad feeling I know which Arcangus expert was responsible for the costume… I don't know whether to thank you or hit you Jiraiya…' _

"W-well…" Yui fidgeted. "I guess… If it's Naruto…" She blushed slightly, "I'm not wearing it because I want to though!"

"Just admit you like it when Naruto looks at you like that," Lala crossed her arms.

"I?! Well… I… Don't dislike it."

"Close enough," Lala sighed.

"Well what girl doesn't like to look good for the guy she likes?" Kyouko grinned as she posed. "What do you think Naru?"

"You look great," Naruto admitted.

"Hehe!" She fist pumped. "Man I am all fired up to hunt some ghosts!"

"Ahahaha…" Naruto laughed weakly, "You haven't changed at all have you?"

"I'd like to think I have," She pushed her cleavage together with her arms. "Don't you think I look more mature?"

"I guess," Naruto admitted. "But you always did love hunting ghosts back when we were kids."

"True… But then again you would always be there, determined to face your fears!" Kyouko nodded. "Ah fun times."

"Oh Naruto and Kyouko-chan used to go ghost hunting together?" Lala tilted her head.

"Of course!" Kyouko smirked. "We were the terrible twosome! There wasn't a mystery that we didn't investigate like the legend of the haunted bathroom stall!"

"Where you stood yelling the name of the ghost for half an hour to make sure that she wasn't going to show up," Naruto grumbled. "It was midnight and the police showed up and thought I was trying to attack you or something. Some people see the blonde hair and instantly assume I'm a delinquent."

"Or the mystery of the haunted ice cream van!"

"Which was just a cat that had gotten itself trapped inside an abandoned ice cream van." Naruto added. "Which I found out after I got stuck in the van. Then you jumped in after me and we had to keep yelling until Kushina finally hunted us down. Apparently the ice cream van was interfering with the signal from the tracking chip in my clothing."

"Tracking chip?" Saki blinked.

"Long story short, Kushina was paranoid I would leave her one day and as such she decided to put a tracker in all my clothing so she could find me."

"Yes we were inseparable!" Kyouko sighed fondly. "That's why we made a promise to be partners forever!" She blushed slightly.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I remember that. To be the Terrible Twosome forever right?"

"R-right," Kyouko beamed at him.

"…He doesn't realise what she means does he?" Mikado shook her head.

"Apparently not," Yui agreed.

"… Well at least he is cute and skilled with a sword even if he is not all there in the mental department." Rin admitted begrudgingly.

"He's a brainless pervert," Hanabi stated bluntly.

"But he comes from an incredibly wealthy family so that technically makes him eccentric," Saki chuckled.

"He has a good heart!" Lala defended her fiancé.

"We'll agree to disagree on that," Hanabi retorted bluntly.

"Now, now," Saki chastised Hanabi softly, "Naruto hasn't done anything to deserve your scorn Hanabi-chan."

"…My apologies milady."

"Ah!" Kyouko took a deep breath. "Can you smell that?"

"The smell of an abandoned building? Smells like urine and moth balls to be honest." Naruto covered his nose.

"Fool!" Kyouko sighed and shook her head. "That is the smell of adventure!"

"…I've been on adventures in space and I can tell you they didn't smell this bad. Although Manda's ship did have a strange chemical smell to it."

"Come on!" Kyouko started to drag Naruto away.

"Hold one moment," Saki cleared her throat. "As we have two people with the power to fight ghosts I suggest we split into two teams. Each team will need one… Arcangus user?" She looked at Naruto who nodded. "Right, One Arcangus user and one scientist. So Naruto and Rin-chan will be on separate teams as will Mikado and Lala, as our resident scientists."

"If it suits you I will go with you," Mikado smiled at Saki.

"That means we are together!" Lala cheered as she hugged Naruto.

"What about the others?" Naruto asked.

"Well… I shall accompany Rin-chan," Saki smiled. "As will Hanabi-chan."

"So that means Kyouko and I should go with Naruto?" Yui clarified.

"Indeed," Saki tapped her ear. "Is everyone wearing their earpieces and microphones?"

"Check," Naruto adjusted the microphone on the collar of his open jacket.

"Right… I'm getting a reading on everyone's positions…" Mikado glanced at a tablet in her hands. "How about you Lala?"

"Yeah!" Lala beamed. "This is like a hi-tech spying film!"

"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself," Naruto smiled. _'Because I know for a fact I'm not going to.' _

"Well then…" Saki pointed at the building. "Let's do this!"

"Roger!" Lala saluted Saki and raced off into the building.

"Come on Naru! Let's find that ghost!" Kyouko grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the school.

"H-Hey! Wait for me!" Yui raced after the first group.

"May I ask you a question?" Mikado glanced at her group.

"Of course," Saki smiled behind her fan.

"Why did you invite Naruto?"

"To be honest?" Saki smiled. "I don't know. Rin-chan should have little difficulty dealing with this issue but… I guess I just feel better knowing Naruto is around as well. Part of me has a bad feeling about this one and I am more worried than usual."

"I would never let any harm befall you." Hanabi promised. "Naruto is not needed for you safety."

"It isn't my safety I am concerned about," Saki turned to her two servants/ friends. "It's yours."

"Saki-sama?" Rin and Hanabi bowed their heads.

"You would both throw yourself on a grenade to protect me and never hesitate, your own safety never crossing your minds once." Saki paused.

"And so would Naruto," Mikado pointed out. "If he sees anyone in need he will do whatever it takes to protect them."

"But… But Naruto has this aura of invulnerability. When you look at him and the attacks he has shrugged off you wonder if he actually can be killed. Despite all his power he still seems a… relatively good person." Saki stared off into the distance. "I feel… I feel like I can trust in his strength not only to protect everyone but to do it and survive himself."

"Relatively good?" Mikado tilted her head.

"There is the harem business." Saki frowned softly. "I… I don't know what to make of that."

"Do you want to know something interesting?" Mikado smiled.

"What would that be?"

"Naruto has only really picked one member of the harem," Mikado smiled. "And that was Kotegawa-chan and even then he only did that with severe urging from Lala-chan."

"I don't understand."

"Naruto isn't the one who wanted the harem," She sighed happily, "All he wants to do is protect those he holds dear. Yet that kind of single minded devotion has attracted him quite the following. Don't go thinking that his harem is forced to do his bidding. We all do what we please. He himself doesn't like to see us as a harem, he sees us as his family. Maybe he has a thing for incest." She joked, "But personally I think it's a declaration of how much we mean to him and the lengths he will go to protect us."

"We?!" Saki's eyes widened. "Mikado-sensei… Are you saying you are in his harem?"

"Something like that," Mikado laughed gently. "What can I say? When the idiot declares war on one of the galaxy's worst alien crime lords in order to protect you… It's kind of a romantic gesture you can't ignore."

"I see," Saki chuckled. "I'll admit… being saved by him does make the heart flutter a little."

"Saki-sama," Hanabi cut in. "I believe we should focus on the mission."

"Right," Rin nodded. "I can't let Naruto beat me in finding the ghost."

"Oh?"

"Er…" Rin blushed slightly. "When we sparred as children we always used to compete. I guess the idea of Naruto beating me still makes me want to win." She coughed embarrassed. "That was unprofessional of me. I shouldn't care who defeats the ghost so long as it is defeated."

"So it's a competition huh?" Saki smirked. "Hello Team B?"

"Team B?" Kyouko answered over the comms. "We are like Team Awesome over here!"

"How do you feel about a wager?"

"Wager?" Naruto's voice sounded interested. "What about?"

"First to defeat the ghost," Saki smiled. "Should you win…? You get a free request from me. Anything you want of me you can ask and I will deliver but your entire team only gets one request."

"Anything?!" Hanabi blinked in horror.

"…Seriously?" Naruto asked.

"Seriously." Saki nodded.

"And if you win?" Naruto asked.

"I get to ask any favour of you." Saki smirked.

"Of me?" Naruto sounded confused. "Er… Sure I guess."

"We can't lose!" Lala declared.

"The quicker we get out of here the better." Yui's voice sounded worried. "I have a bad feeling."

"Argh!" Naruto yelled out.

"Naruto?!" Rin froze.

"Hahahahahaha!" Kyouko's laugh echoed through the comms. "Don't worry he's fine. Just a little jumpy."

* * *

"We can't lose!" Lala punched the air dramatically as they walked towards the basement of the school, currently walking through a hallway on the ground floor where abandoned classrooms full of dusty books lined the way.

"The quicker we get out of here the better." Yui shivered slightly as she walked past a classroom where the blackboard has the message GET OUT! Scrawled on it in what she hoped was some sort of red paint.

Naruto opened his mouth to comment when he felt an icy sensation travel down his spine. "Argh?!" He span around, a ball of Arcangus energy formed in his palm, desperately scanning the hallway for the source, only to blink as another drop of icy water hit him on the shoulder. "Oh…" He mumbled quietly.

"Naruto?!" Rin's voice was crackling over the comms.

Kyouko was shaking trying to contain her laughter until she couldn't anymore. "Hahahahahaha! Don't worry he's fine. Just a little jumpy."

"Try to be quieter," Saki's voice sounded amused over the static. "We don't want you to scare the ghost away."

"S-sorry," Naruto frowned. _'I could have sworn it felt like some tapped me on the back though. Maybe I am a little jumpy…" _He continued walking down the corridor, oblivious to the ghostly girl who slowly floated back up through the floorboard.

'_Oh no! I instinctively hid!' _Oshizu cursed to herself. _'And waiting so long for the chance to meet the blonde haired hero who saved me from that dog! Come on… I can't give up!' _The ghost girl slapped her face and continued to stalk team B.

"Still as jumpy as ever huh?" Kyouko chuckled. "Come to think of it didn't you once get yourself stuck in a ghost house?"

"Yeah," Naruto frowned. "Risa tricked me and Haruna into going into one."

"I remember that Haruna," Kyouko frowned softly. "She's the girl you ran off to play with on a fair few of my visits right?"

"I invited you to join us," Naruto reminded her. "But you always said you didn't want to play with her."

"I was only interested in playing with you," Kyouko admitted. '_Plus with how you talked about her I was always scared if I saw you two together that you'd be acting like a couple and I don't think I could have taken that.' _

"Shame, you'd have liked her," Naruto continued.

"From what your mother said you were joined at the hip."

"Mother?"

"Kushina-san I mean."

"Oh right," Naruto nodded. "Yeah we used to be. I guess we've just drifted apart."

"Really?" Kyouko chuckled. "She not a fan of the harem lifestyle?"

"I don't have a harem." Naruto replied automatically.

"He doesn't have a harem!" Yui responded at the same time.

"Oh that was so cute!" Kyouko laughed.

"W-what?" Yui blushed.

"You two must be close to be so in sync. I'm guessing she is a member?"

"Yui-chan is my girlfriend yes," Naruto nodded.

"I see…" Kyouko glanced at Yui. "Have you… you know?"

"W-what?!" Yui blushed bright red. "No! Of course not!"

"Of course not?"

"B-because N-Naruto and I…. We aren't married."

"Muu!" Lala exclaimed loudly. "But when Naruto becomes the ruler of all the galaxy then you'll marry him so why does it matter that you aren't married now?"

"W-well…" Yui faltered under Lala's intense stare.

"Leave her alone," Naruto hugged Yui causing her to let out a cute squeak of surprise. "Not everyone is as confidant about matters like that as you and Momo."

"Muuu…" Lala pouted. "Naruto's taking Yui's side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side," Naruto chuckled as he hugged Lala with his free arm, whose face instantly lit up with a mega-watt smile as she returned the hug.

"Geez," Kyouko grumbled. "Don't you look like a serious playboy? A pretty girl under each arm."

"Ahaha," Naruto released the hug and rubbed the back of his head.

"Naruto!" Lala crossed her arms and pointed at Kyouko. "You can't not hug her!"

"Eh?"

"She'll think you hate her!" Lala pointed out.

"Kyo-chan knows I don't hate her, right?" Naruto glanced at his friend.

"That's right," Kyouko laughed. "You don't have to hug me."

"…That means I do doesn't it." Naruto deadpanned.

"Definitely." Lala nodded.

"Most certainly," Yui chuckled.

"I would advise it." Saki's voice sounded over the radio.

"…Saki?"

"That's Saki-sama to you."

"Hello Psycho Maid," Naruto rolled his eyes. "How much of this conversation have you heard?"

"I don't think Lala switched off her microphone." Mikado sounded amused. "You'd better have a hug for me when we are done here."

"Oops," Lala stuck her tongue out and tapped herself on the head.

"…Sure why not." Naruto shook his head at Lala's antics. "Hugs for everyone."

"Oh my? Well if you are offering," Saki chuckled.

"A hug?" Rin seemed to think for a moment. "I would accept that offer."

"Why would I want to hug you? Wait… If you are hugging me that means I can slip a poisoned knife into your back… Very well. I shall allow you to hug me once… It will be a… intimate hug with some penetration however."

"Like hell I'm going to hug you after you said that!" Naruto remarked. "And don't make stabbing me sound sexual! I'm not some sort of horn dog who would abandon reason at the thought of sex!"

"Could have fooled me," Hanabi stated bluntly.

"Maybe that was her plan," Rin pointed out. "To make it seem like hugging her would be a bad idea so that you wouldn't do it."

"… Damn it." Naruto grumbled. "I hadn't thought of that. Fine I will hug you so hard you'll… you'll wish I didn't hug you so hard!"

"That was lame," Hanabi retorted.

"So is your face!"

There was an uncomfortable silence on the comms.

"Really?"

"Shut up," Naruto grumbled.

"Ah I think I figured out how to turn the microphone off!" Lala beamed.

"Great," Naruto sighed. "A little too late though…. What was that?" Naruto suddenly raced into a classroom.

"Seeing things again?" Kyouko and Lala peered over his shoulder.

"I could have sworn…" Naruto shook his head. "I thought I saw a girl's face… only it was strangely translucent."

"Like a ghost's?!" Lala and Kyouko eagerly scanned the room.

"Ghosts aren't real," Yui sighed. "It's just your imagination."

"Yeah… you're probably right." Naruto shook his head. "I guess I'm a little on edge."

"To the basement then!" Lala declared. "If there are any ghosts they are sure to be there."

"That's right," Kyouko nodded. "If someone died here it was probably locked up in the basement!"

"W-what?" Naruto gulped. "You think that there is some sort of angry spirit in the basement?!"

"Probably a really dangerous one." Kyouko's eyes sparkled. "Let's go!"

"Roger!" Lala saluted and followed Kyouko.

'_Oh no!" _Oshizu's eyes widened. _'I can't let them go down there. It's dangerous' _She thought to herself as she floated just above the doorway. _**'**__B-but… I couldn't even speak to him when he saw me! _

"…Isn't something being dangerous a good reason to not go somewhere?" Naruto turned to Yui.

"Since when has that stopped you?" Yui remarked.

"Right," Naruto grinned weakly at Yui, "I suppose I should keep up with the group." He shook his head and ran after the girls.

"Um..." Yui heard a soft voice from beside her.

"Hello?" Yui turned to see who was there and froze.

"Um… Hi?" Oshizu waved at Yui.

"G-g-g-g-…"

"I need to tell you something important." Oshizu began.

"GHOST!" Yui screamed hysterically as she raced after the others. "NARUTO!"

"Yui?" Naruto and the others quickly re-joined Yui. "Are you alright?"

"G-g-ghost!" Yui pointed at the empty corridor.

"Are you sure?" Kyouko scowled.

"Wait a minute!" Lala declared. "My Ghost-Finder-Kun is responding!" She pulled her d-dial from her cleavage.

"Ghost-finder-kun?"

"It's a super hi tech sensor that I have monitoring the school." Lala explained. "I built it whilst I was waiting for Yui-chan to get changed since she was so reluctant to dress up for the mission!"

"…You really are a genius aren't you?" Naruto smirked before what Lala was saying fully registered. "What a minute… You mean there actually is a ghost here?"

"I think so," Lala pouted as she stared at the display on her d-dial. "I'm picking up a faint presence nearby but a really, really powerful one in the basement!"

"Really?" Naruto looked around. "S-so are we going to focus on the weaker presence?!"

'_Please do that.' _Oshizu prayed.

"What kind of ghost hunter are you?!" Kyouko challenged Naruto.

"A very poor one." Naruto nodded.

"Gah! Where's your heroic spirit? Are you going to let Rin-chan face such a powerful threat alone?"

"Damn it," Naruto groaned. "Today was supposed to be a simple party. Why does everything have to escalate? First I have to fight the First Holy Knight then I overhear Haruna confess she wishes she accepted my confession and now I have to…"

"Wait a second!" Lala interrupted Naruto. "What was that about Haruna?"

"Oh that," Naruto scowled softly. "It's not important."

"It… It sounded important." Yui cut in.

"She said something under the influence of a truth potion of Momo's concoction."

"That Momo!" Lala crossed her arms. "I'm going to have to have a work with her! But isn't that good? If Haruna wants to be with Naruto then we can just invite her to the harem!"

"I don't have a harem." Naruto responded automatically. "It's not that simple. Haruna and I… As much as I know that I love her… I also remember how her rejection hurt. Plus there's Rito's feelings to take into account."

"Muu…" Lala stomped her foot down. "Why do you have to let him win?"

"Let him win?" Naruto echoed Lala. "Matters of love aren't a game."

"You know what I mean." Lala sighed. "You are so… pig headed!" She stamped her foot again causing the whole building to shake.

"Eh?"

"You have decided that Rito would be better for Haruna-chan but what if that isn't true? What if Rito being with Haruna would hurt both of them! Wouldn't it be better to save them both from the pain of a failed relationship?!" Lala's shoulders sagged. "I just hate seeing you get all bent out of shape because of Haruna and Rito."

"Thanks," Naruto kissed Lala on her forehead. "But you don't have to worry about me. Just trust and love me okay? I'll make my way through this with you and the others supporting me."

"Idiot," Lala pouted. "That's like 90% of what I do!"

"Only 90%" Naruto sighed dramatically, "I thought our love was more important to you than just 90% effort."

"Well that would 90% loving and supporting. 9.9999% thinking about sex with you the rest is all just tinkering with my inventions."

"You spend almost 10% of your time thinking about sex with Naru?" Kyouko blinked.

"It used to 50% until we actually had sex," Lala happily chirped, "Then it went to 25% and I guess since I'm pregnant it is less important to me now."

"Oh I see… Wait did you say you are pregnant?!" Kyouko blinked.

"That's right!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm. "We are going to be a family!"

"And you are okay with this?" Kyouko glanced at Yui.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Lala looked confused. "One day she too will carry Naruto's child."

"W-what?" Yui blushed crimson.

"You don't want to?" Lala looked at her shocked.

"W=well it isn't that I don't want to…" Yui mumbled.

"See," Lala looked triumphantly at Kyouko. "Everyone will carry Naruto's child at some point!" She beamed at the dumbfounded Kyouko.

"I… I…" She looked at Naruto who had the grace to look embarrassed.

"My love life is very complicated." Naruto admitted apologetically.

"It's not." Lala laughed. "We love you so we all date you! The only complicated thing with you is this whole Haruna/Rito business but I suppose you are keeping that separate from your harem affairs."

"He doesn't/I don't have a harem," Naruto and Yui exclaimed.

"When you put it like that…" Naruto begrudgingly admitted. "It is awfully simple."

"See?" Lala beamed.

"Really?" Kyouko looked thoughtful. "So you are saying there are no real issues?"

"Well…" Lala tilted her head. "It is like having a lot of sisters! We all care about each other but we might have minor disagreements but at the end of the day we make up."

"You have disagreements?" Naruto blinked. "I've never really seen any of you argue."

"Oh they are usually trivial things," Lala laughed.

"Like Lala wanted to fly a spaceship," Yui remarked offhandedly.

"No one ever lets me fly!" She pouted.

"Maybe because every time you do you end up crashing."

"Not every time…"

"You crashed the Kyuubi into Rito's and Mikado's houses not to mention you crashed the… H.L.P.M. into a criminal masterminds ship and hurt Naruto!"

"I got better," Naruto weakly interrupted. "And what the hell is the HLPM?"

"The Harem Lord's Pimp Mobile…" Lala pouted. "I wanted to call it NaruLala Love Nest 3000 but Momo managed to convince me otherwise. It's your huge frigate!"

"I have a frigate now?" Naruto blinked. "And remind me never to let Momo name anything ever again. She's almost as bad as you are. Maybe it's a devilukian thing?"

"Hai! Bunta-san is fixing it up since it took a little damage." Lala nodded.

"When you rammed it into another ship," Yui reminded. "Which only goes to prove the fact you cannot fly."

"I'll never learn if you won't let me," Lala pouted childishly.

"Naruto!" Rin's voice sounded over the comms. "Where are you?!"

"What's a matter?"

"We found the ghost in the basement… It is far more powerful that we believed! We need your… SAKI-SAMA!"

"I'm on my way!" Naruto charged towards the basement, all fears about ghosts forgotten. His precious people needed him.

* * *

"N-no!" Saki struggled as the glowing red tentacles hosted her up into the air, "S-stop that!"

"Saki-sama!" Rin narrowed her eyes and leapt a good ten feet into the air before slicing through the glowing tentacles as if they were nothing, grabbing Saki and landing uncomfortably on the floor. "Damn it…"

"Rin?" Saki noticed how she was holding her ankle, "You're hurt!"

"I messed up the landing," Rin hobbled to her feet. "I should be fine in a few moments… I've never seen a ghost like this though…"

The basement was a large storage area that had been cleaned out long ago, leaving only the smell of decay a very faint light that illuminated their target. A strange looking writhing mass of tentacles that glowed with an ominous red light.

"COME GET SOME!" Hanabi roared as she peppered the creature with custom ammunition that had been blessed by an elder priestess on the top of Mount Fuji (not for ceremonial purposes or anything: that was just where Hanabi's mother lived). "Tch," Hanabi tossed aside the empty cartridge and quickly reloaded with a frightening degree of expertise before continuing launching a barrage of blessed bullets at the writhing mass which twitched and groaned under the assault but showed no signs of damage. "What the hell is this thing?! Saki-sama you must pull back!"

"I won't leave you behind," Saki scowled.

"This isn't a ghost," Mikado remarked as she furiously tapped on the screen of her tablet. "My reading suggest this… this poor thing was once a human."

"W-what?" Saki's eye widened.

"It… It shows signs of severe genetic modification." Mikado's eyes narrowed. "Without any regard for the subject's life at all…"

"What kind of monster would do such a thing?" Rin narrowed her eyes angrily. "Fear not, I shall release you from your suffering. My name is Rin Kujou and mine is the crest of Gabriella!" Rin felt her strength increase as the ghostly priestess robes covered her body with six wings proudly displayed from her back.

"**Aaaah!" **The monster groaned in pain and launched a countless barrage of tentacles at them.

"I am the blade that protects Saki-sama!" Rin crouched, her sword drawn. "Mugen Buredo! (Infinite Blades)." She arms vanished as she moved beyond the speeds of human perception, her sword shredding the tentacles that were sent towards her.

"Look out!" Mikado cried out as the tentacles attacked from the side. "Sorry but only Naruto gets to touch me like that!" She scowled as she injected a powerful paralytic into the tentacle that was trying to cop a feel. "I'm not that kind of girl."

"Saki-sama watch out!" Hanabi pushed Saki to the side as a small group of tentacles that had flanked them dived towards Saki. "H-hey!" Hanabi struggled against the tentacles that bound her arms and legs and lifted her into the air. "S-s-stop that!" She squirmed as the tentacles started to grope her breasts. "No… I refuse to have my body sullied like this!"

"Rin!" Saki cried out in alarm as another group of tentacles hoisted her into the air, "Hey! How dare you molest a lady of my standing?" She struggled against the creature as its tentacles wrapped around her tightly. "No!" She cried out as she struggled to free herself.

"SAKI-SAMA!" Rin was distracted for a second but that was all it took for the tentacles to wrap around her arms, preventing her attack. "D-damn it!" She too was lifted off of the ground, the tentacles starting to caress her body.

"Kaze Yari!" A spear of near invisible energy shredded the tentacles holding Saki and Rin and Naruto quickly caught them as they fell, his Arcangus form allowing him to fly quickly and easily lower them to the ground.

"N-Naruto…" Saki blushed as she cuddled up to his chest.

"Thank you," Rin bowed her head. "I was caught off guard. It will not happen again." Rin drew her sword and glared at the monster.

"Hinotama (Fireball!)" Kyouko threw a huge fireball at the central mass who writhed in pain and withdrew its tentacles to protect itself, causing Hanabi to be dropped unceremoniously on the ground.

"To try and do such things to me in the presence of Saki-sama!" Hanabi rolled to her feet, tossing aside the SMG and switching to the assault rifle on her back. "Let's see how you like this!" She launched a short burst of rounds which detonated on contact with the creature, forcing it back. "Not so tough now are you?" She roared, peppering the creature with explosive rounds.

"What the hell is that?" Naruto blinked.

"You can't get close to it!" Oshizu materialised in front of Naruto's face.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked stupidly. "G-g-g-g…"

"It sucks up the spirits of those it traps." Oshizu warned him. "If it gets a hold of you it will rip your soul straight out of your body!"

"G-g-g-g-g…"

"A real ghost?" Kyouko blinked.

"That's so cool!" Lala cheered.

The creature groaned in pain. _**"So MaNY preTTy gIRls… I… WaNNa FeEl ThEM... So… HungRY! Male… No InteREst… Feed…" **_

"Naruto?!" The girls glanced at Naruto who was still paralysed with fear at the ghost.

"**FEED**!" The creature launched a tentacle that ended in a strange suction cup straight at the frozen Naruto.

"N-No!" Oshizu stood between Naruto and the monster, getting swallowed by the tentacle." I… I am glad I got to speak to you this once. I think… we would have made great friends." Oshizu smiled bravely before the creature finished absorbing her.

"W-w-what just happened?!" Yui blinked as the tentacle retracted.

"It… It ate that ghost girl."

"What?" Naruto blinked. "She… The ghost… saved my life? Hey you tentacle bastard… Spit her out!"

"**So taSTY!" **

"You bastard!" Naruto launched a barrage of powerful wind attacks at the creature. "SPIT HER OUT!"

"Naruto… our attacks aren't doing enough damage to kill it in time to save the girl," Saki frowned sadly. "I know this is hard to take but we have no choice but to fall back and think up another plan!"

"This creature has had its genetics corrupted," Mikado shook her head. "It appears highly shielded against aura attacks as it is partially composed of energy like a ghost. Also the analysis of the physical parts of the creature appear to be able to regenerate from physical attacks too quickly for us to kill it. That ghost sacrificed herself so we could escape. Don't let her sacrifice be in vain."

The world froze and went grey but Naruto could still sense everything that was happening. He heard a clicking noise, like someone wearing high heels walking behind him. The noise continued until he saw a female version of himself. The female him had blackened hands that looked more like claws and the same applied to her feet. A simple black vest with barbed wire around it were the only items of clothing that she was wearing. She turned to Naruto with bright red, slitted eyes and smiled before turning her attention to the monster.

"**There's nothing we can do? Right?" **In the frozen grey scale world, the corruption walked up to the creature. "**You are injuring it but you can't kill it without killing the little girl who sacrificed herself to save you." **She turned to face Naruto. "**It hurts doesn't it papa? You know that you can't save her and it is twisting you up inside. It is hurting you papa. I told you… The longer you play at being something you are not the more it will hurt you until there is nothing left but pain.' **

"I will not give up." Naruto declared.

"**Papa… Why do you have to be such a fool? Do you not realise the pain will only get worse?" **

"Maybe so… But if I didn't try and protect them then really… what's the point? Lala, Momo, Nana, Yui, Kushina, Mikado, Kyouko, Rin, Saki… Hell even Hanabi and the ghost girl. They are what gives my life meaning. Otherwise I would just be a delinquent getting into pointless fights because of my hair colour. They give me the encouragement and recognition I need to carry on trying to prove that I am not just some thug, to carry on being a hero."

"**Papa… looks so cool when he gets all fired up…" **Corruption put her black clawed hands on her face to cover her blush, "**Fine… I will save the girl for Papa." **

"How?"

"**Foolish Papa. You can tap into your Arcangus aura fully but your Damus one is still sealed to you. You cannot call up Asmodea's powers for you don't hold this…" **Corruption held out a claw and a strange red symbol appeared above it. "**This is the Key of Corruption." **

"Then you will give it to me?"

"**If I gave you it you wouldn't know how to use it to save the girl. I do. Even if you did know how to use it, you would need about 30 minutes to full absorb the key. My estimate is in 10 minutes there will be no ghost girl left to save." **

"You just want me to hand over control of my body!"

"**Only temporarily," **Corruption smiled. "**Only so I can save the ghost for Papa." **

"…Why would you do that?"

"**Simple… I want Papa to see what he could truly do if he just accepted me." **Corruption smiled. **"To see the power that is rightfully his as soon as he realises the futility of this charade he insists on playing." **

"You save the ghost girl and that's it." Naruto scowled. "I get my body back straight away."

"**Of course Papa." **

"… Don't make me regret this." Naruto sighed as Corruption walked up to him, swaying her hips.

"**I won't Papa." **Corruption put her clawed hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply.

"Because…" Naruto blinked with red slitted eyes as colour returned to the word. "I wouldn't want to upset Papa."

"Naruto?" Lala shivered. "You… You are not Naruto."

"Observant," Naruto tilted his head. "I am… Call me Asuka. I always liked the sound of that name."

"Asuka?" Rin scowled. "Have you possessed Naruto?!"

"My name is Asuka Asmodea Deviluke, daughter of Naruto-Papa," Asuka ignored the glares from the girls. "And mine is the seal of Asmodea."

There was a sudden explosion of an energy that felt so impure and wrong that the girls started to feel sick just from being in its presence. When the energy cleared Naruto was gone. In its pace a demon stood, glowing red eyes glanced at them scornfully as she floated above the ground with two black leather wings. A devilukian tail hung lazily behind her and two ram horns spiralled from her head. She was wearing the same black shirt as Naruto had been wearing in his demon cosplay with the open shirt resting on her nipples but revealing the rest of her body with barbed wire holding the outfit in place. A pair of bikini bottoms were the only thing worn below her waist beside a pair of barbed wire anklets on both feet. She was twirling an old fashioned smoking pipe between her fingers as she looked around the room before settling on glaring at the monster as if it was dirt beneath her boots.

"**This power is amazing isn't it Papa?" **Asmodea-Asuka purred as she slipped her hand beneath the shirt and teased her nipples. "**Ah! The pleasures of the flesh… This is Papa's hand…" **She smiled as the hand trailed down towards her crotch. "**Ah but I promised Papa to save the girl… Such a shame…" **Asmodea-Asuka glared at the tentacle monster. "**Tell me something… What is your wish? Is it to be inside a cute lil' girl like me~?" **Asmodea-Asuka winked.

"**inSIdE cUte… GiRL… WaNT… ThaT!"** Its tentacles all started aiming at her.

"**So that's your wish is it?" **She laughed shrilly. **"I see. Well I will grant you your wish."** She gestured with a hand and a series of glowing red crests appeared around the creature. "**You know Papa has only just started to tap into his powers. He doesn't understand just what he can do with them. For example Papa's Shoten ability involves him compressing his own aura, his own energy to make it possible to use more of it at once. But it doesn't have to be his own energy." **Asmodea grinned as the red seals started to arc red lightning at the tentacle mass. "**He could use it on any energy source, say a star or someone else's attack… or maybe a monster that is partially made of energy." **

"**paIN…" **The monster groaned as it was compressed until it fit into Asmodea-Asuka's palm.

"**Time to grant your wish~" **She tossed the compressed monster into her mouth and chewed experimentally before spitting him back out. "**Sorry~ I spit not swallow… At least when it isn't Papa who is involved." **She sighed wistfully as the monster returned to its original size although its skin seemed to be pulsing and the red glow seemed far more sinister, with the occasional surge of red energy crackling across its skin. "**Do you feel it? My corruption ability is quite powerful. That regenerative factor that you had is now attacking your own body and your energy side is how corrupted… It answers only to me." **Asmodea-Asuka smiled. "**Which means…" **She clicked her fingers and the creatures exploded. **"I can do that and seperate your corrupted energy from the pure, untouched energy of ghosty girl like so." **

"W-what?" Oshizu looked around as she reformed. "I… what?!"

"**You're scared aren't you~?" **Asmodea-Asuka turned to the girls.** "You fear Papa's true power." **

"No," Rin shook her head. "That power is frightening… But I know Naruto will never use it for evil."

"Naru's a hero," Kyouko smirked. "So we don't have to worry about that."

"So give him back now!" Lala ordered. "Or… Or I'll use Satalin and kick your ass!"

'_**Wait… You mean I finally get to fight! Hell yes! I've waited nearly two decades for you to finally call on my power in fight that's worth my presence!' **_Satalin sounded like a kid for whom Christmas had come early.

"**You say that now," **There was a surge of the unholy energy and Naruto reappeared with red slitted eyes. "But we shall see. Should you ever hurt my Papa, I will end you." The red eyes slowly faded and were replaced with blue.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"He's back!" Lala cheered.

'_**Are we sure? Go on let's just fuck him up a little bit for making you worry.' **_Satalin begged.

"Ah… T-t hank you." Oshizu bowed her head.

"I'm sorry," Naruto looked at her. "I was so surprised..."

"Scared," Kyouko interrupted.

"… Surprised," Naruto repeated firmly, "To see a ghost that I just froze up. I'm sorry."

"B-but you saved me again," Oshizu smiled.

"Again?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes you saved me from that dog and now this," She blushed. "I… I don't get many visitors but I am glad I finally worked up the courage to talk to you!"

"I'm glad too." Naruto smiled. "My name's Naruto Uzumaki… or Namikaze I guess but just call me Naruto, yours?"

"Shizu Murasame," The ghost girl beamed. "But you can call me Oshizu."

"How long has that thing been here?" Naruto scowled at the twitching remains of the monster.

"About three weeks," Oshizu played with her hair. "All my other friends left here because it scared them away but I am anchored to this place so I can't leave… I've spent 400 years inhabiting this area… The area where my shrine was." Oshizu sighed sadly.

"400 years?" Lala gasped. "That must have been boring."

"Shrine?" Naruto took in the girl's appearance for the first time. "Oh you do look like a shrine maiden."

"H-hai!" Oshizu smiled. "When I saw all those shrine maiden's entering the school I was surprised but happy. I wanted to talk to them although I can't help but feel that standards have changed."

"Pardon?" Rin raised an eyebrow.

"I mean those skirts," Oshizu blushed. "They are awfully short and the top is awfully low cut."

"I didn't wear this because I wanted to!" Yui tried to pull the dress down again. "I only did it because Naruto liked it."

"Er…" Naruto laughed weakly. "They aren't real shrine maidens but are simply dressed up as them."

"Oh I see," Oshizu tilted her head. "Is that common now?"

"Well… Not really," Naruto admitted. "But I think that any girl can look good in a shrine maiden's outfit!"

"Is anyone taking notes I feel like we might be about to learn about another one of Naruto's fetishes." Mikado whispered causing Saki and Kyouko to laugh whilst Rin and Lala took a mental note.

"R-r-really?" Oshizu blushed. "Even me?!"

"Of course," Naruto nodded.

"Oh my," Oshizu looked away embarrassed.

"Why don't you leave this place?" Lala asked.

"I told you I am anchored here." Oshizu sighed sadly. "So long as the stone I am bound to is here I can't leave."

"Hmm…" Mikado looked thoughtful, "If you show me this stone… I think I might have an idea."

"Truly?"

"Truly," Mikado smiled at the excited ghost. "Show me where it is on and Lala?"

"Hai?"

"Could you have one of your inventions collect the remains of that creature. I want to run some tests on it."

"Will do!" Lala saluted cheerfully.

"Great," Mikado turned to Oshizu. "So that stone?"

"This way!" Oshizu happily floated down the corridor.

"So…" Rin cleared her throat. "Who won that?"

"I guess it was Naruto." Saki sighed. "I guess that means you get one request from me."

"I didn't actually win though…" Naruto mumbled. _'That was the Corruption.' _

'_**She's called herself Asuka, just so you know.' **_Asmodea's voice informed him. _**'Have to admit I have never seen corruption behave like her before. Once again I'm looking at you Raphael." **_

'_Mmph?!' _

'_Is she alright?' _

'_**I've just got her gagged and bound… It got a little sexual. Just some light petting.' **_

'_And I'm going to ignore that and repress that.' _Naruto shook his head.

"Well it was still technically a member of your team who won so I am classing that as your victory." Saki continued. "So…" She smiled seductively at Naruto. "What's your request?"

"It had better not be indecent," Hanabi turned the assault rifle on Naruto.

"I can't think of anything I want right now," Naruto laughed weakly. "How about I get back to you on that?"

"Sure," Saki clapped her hands together. "On another note I do believe there was talk of a party although at this time I fear that the mansion staff will be cleaning up and I don't want to give them more work…"

"Well we could always have the party at my place," Naruto shrugged. "That way everyone else can get involved."

"Right!" Lala punched the air. "Let's do that!"

"I wouldn't want to intrude," Saki started before Naruto cut her off with a chuckle.

"You are more than welcome to visit my house whenever you want," Naruto smiled. "We are friends right?"

"At the moment yes," Saki smiled. "Although after having a talk with Mikado-sensei… I do not think we will remain that way for long."

"Really?" Naruto frowned. "Is there something about me you don't like?"

"I feel… We will be much closer in the not too distant future and I feel that calling you a friend would be a cruel play down of our relationship." Saki whispered as she walked passed Naruto, who followed her with a smile.

"Is that so?" He chuckled. "Well… I guess we'll see what the future holds."

* * *

"I'm stuffed," Naruto patted his stomach happily.

Everyone (except Rito who had gone straight to bed) was sat in a party area that Lala had designed and created when they arrived. It was like a giant ballroom filled with beanie bag chairs and televisions and consoles. Currently Kushina was losing to Rin on a fighting game and Hanabi was completely dominating online multiplayer on a FPS. She was currently 125 Kills for 1 death after 3 games and that one death had only happened because Naruto had spilt a drink over Saki and she had asked Naruto to brush her dry.

Nana and Mikan were playing a dancing game with limited success whilst Yami watched them curiously, yet resisted any and all attempts to get her to join in. Kyouko, Aya and Run were having the time of their lives on the karaoke machine (which surprised Naruto as Run was an idol so he assumed she would get fed up of singing at some point) whilst the others were gathered in the centre of the room on the beanie bag chairs, just chatting and having fun.

"Let's play a drinking game!" Momo declared.

"I don't know…" Naruto frowned. "Aren't you a little too young to be drinking alcohol?"

"It wouldn't be proper," Yui agreed.

"I don't mean alcoholic drinks," Momo smirked. "We can have fun without them!"

"Oh?" Lala tilted her head. "What drinks did you have in mind then?"

"That's the fun part," Momo clicked her fingers and a small waiter drone (another one of the things Lala had built shortly after arriving) hovered over to them and produced a tray with several different shot glasses on it, causing the table to hover in between the group. "Each of these drinks has a different effect."

"Such as?" Naruto asked, still remembering the truth potion.

"Well," Momo laughed. "There is at least one shot of that truth potion here."

"That reminds me!" Lala crossed her arms. "Why did you make a batch of that?!"

"Oh well," Momo smiled weakly. "I figured that if Naruto was more honest it might help expand the harem."

"He doesn't/ I don't have a harem," Naruto and Yui responded.

"Amazing," Saki fanned herself. "You really do say that as a reflex and in sync as well." She chuckled as Yui and Naruto looked a little embarrassed.

"I admit it never crossed my mind the sort of damage that could occur should the potion fall into the wrong hands. I have learnt my lesson there." Momo looked genuinely sorry so Naruto decided to let her off.

"I guess you had my interests at heart but still… at least give me heads up before you doing something like this again."

"You aren't going to tell me not to do something like that again?"

"Even if I did you wouldn't stop." Naruto chuckled.

"If you really wanted me to stop I would." Momo's voice was so sincere Naruto couldn't resist giving her a quick hug.

"So the game?" Mikado asked.

"Oh right," Momo cleared her throat, "As I was saying there is at least one truth potion… although there maybe two. I can't remember how many I made. The rest are all relatively harmless for example they will change your hair colour or something for a few minutes. In short it is all harmless fun."

"Those truth potions have the potential to cause harm though," Naruto pointed out.

"Don't worry these are far more watered down than the original." Momo assured him. "That first batch was not meant for human consumption so its effects were instantaneous and powerful. This new batch will just make it slightly harder to lie to someone."

"Oh," Yui looked relieved. "That is much better."

"Why?" Momo smirked. "Does Yui-chan have something to hide? Is she worried a dose of truth serum might have her revealing all the naughty things she wants Naruto to do to her?"

"W-what?" Yui went crimson. "T-that is not at all why I don't want to take the serum! S-stop it with your shameless accusations!"

"So it's kind of like Russian roulette?" Naruto stared at the identical shots.

"Oh that gives me an idea!" Lala declared. "We put a spinner in the middle and whatever the spinner stops on is what you have to drink!"

"Or you could take a forfeit instead if you are scared of what might possibly happen," Momo volunteered.

"Right!" Lala nodded.

"Sounds fun," Naruto nodded.

"Count me in," Saki smiled.

"Me too!" Kyouko declared. "I'm not afraid of a little truth serum!"

"NarNar can just ask me whatever he wants to know!" Run beamed at him. "My three sizes are…"

"Not important right now." Kyouko cut her off. "So how does this work?"

"Right." Momo smirked. "It will be the game of Kings. For those of you who don't know what it is you all draw identical sticks from a cup," Momo presented a completely opaque cup with several sticks out of the top. One has a crown on and the others have numbers on. Whoever gets the crown gets to give an order to the others but only using numbers so they don't know who they are ordering!"

"Oh I've always wanted to play this," Saki agreed. "However I never had a large enough group to play it with before."

"Well you don't have to worry now!" Lala proudly declared. "We are always here to play with you."

"I… That's good to know thank you," Saki smiled.

"So the king can order anything?" Hanabi smirked.

"Yes but if one of the numbers decides not to carry out the order given then they take a shot instead!" Lala clapped her hands.

"Or a different forfeit if they don't want to drink the shot." Mikado added.

"And if they don't want to do the forfeit… Well we will think up something else." Momo smirked.

"Right!" Lala looked pumped. "So who's in?"

"Everyone looks like," Mikado chuckled as everyone, even Yami, joined the group.

"So then…" Momo smirked. "Let's draw straws!"

"Right!" Everyone reached into the cup and quickly drew a stick.

"So…" Lala looked around, "Who's the king?"

"That'd be me," Mikado smirked. "Now let me see… 12 should kiss 4!"

"Well I'm 4," Saki smiled.

"W-w-what…" Hanabi stared at the stick in her hand. "I'm… I'm 12…" _'I… I get to kiss Saki-sama?! This is a dream come true!' _

"Oh?" Saki smiled. "Well I've no complaints…"

"S-s-Saki-sama…" Hanabi stepped towards her before giving her a quick peck on the cheek before passing out with steam coming from her head. "I…I…with Saki-sama…"

"You know… she is surprisingly innocent," Risa chuckled. "Next round!"

"Okay… everyone put your straws back!" Momo collected the straws before mixing them up and putting them back in the middle of the group.

"And Go!" Lala declared as everyone dived in.

"I'm king this time!" Kyouko grinned. "Well let's say… 5 has to sit in 11's lap!"

"Er… I'm 5," Mikan blushed.

"And I'm 11," Naruto smiled. "You don't have to force yourself to…"

"It's okay," Mikan sat on Naruto's lap. "Er… How long do I have to stay here?"

"Until the end of the next round," Momo smiled.

"Okay…" Mikan was bright red. _'I can feel Naruto's breath on the back of my neck… It's making me feel all tingly.' _

"Damn it," Run started to bite her thumb, glaring at Mikan in jealousy.

"Next round!" Lala beamed.

"We'll have to start asking more risky stuff otherwise no one is going to take a forfeit," Momo smirked.

"And draw!" Lala beamed. "Oh! I'm the king this time! Let me see… I got it! Number 5 has to reveal a dark secret!"

"I'm six," Mikan sighed happily as she returned to her previous seat.

"N-No way!" Yui cried out. "I won't!"

"Oh?" Momo smirked. "Guess that means either a drink or a forfeit and your forfeit would be… To remove an item of clothing!"

"W-w-what?" Yui shivered. "F-fine… I'll have a drink then." _'I am basically wearing a shrine maiden's outfit and my underwear. That doesn't leave me much room for undressing.' _

"Let's spin it up!" Momo laughed and watched the spinner. "Here you go… one shot!"

"Bottom's up!" Lala gave her a thumbs up as Yui drank it. "It tastes fruity."

"They all do," Momo assured her. "It's the flavouring I use."

"I don't feel any different… Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"S-so," Naruto coughed, trying his best not to laugh. "That's what Yui chan would look like bald."

"W-w-w-what?!" Yui reached up to her now shiny head.

"Don't worry!" Momo laughed. "It will wear off in a few minutes and your original hair will reappear."

"Next round!" Lala declared.

"Hey I'm the king," Momo smirked.

"Oh gods." Naruto blinked.

"We… We're doomed aren't we?" Yui whimpered.

"I say… twelve has to make out with six, with tongues and everything!"

"…I'm six." Naruto held up his hand.

"Who's twelve?!" Run started to death glare everyone.

"…Me." Hanabi and Naruto stared at each other.

"Drinks!" They called in unison.

"Muu…" Lala pouted as Naruto and Hanabi were given shots.

"Well here goes nothing," Naruto took his shot. "Heh… I feel all tingly."

"I am not afraid of a mere drink," Hanabi took her shot. "I don't feel strange at all."

"Man… should I be annoyed that Naruto has bigger boobs than me," Nana mumbled.

"Eh?"

"Oh! Fem-Naruto looks cute!" Lala clapped.

"Fem… oh right…" Naruto noticed his breasts and lack of Excalibur.

"This isn't permanent right?" Risa glanced at Momo, "Don't get me wrong I can see my having quite a bit of fun with Naru-chan but I have grown quite fond of his legendary sword."

"Eh?" Mikan blushed crimson.

"It will only last a few more seconds." Momo assured her.

"I feel absolutely fine, all the joy in the world is mine." Hanabi stated. "What is this? Is someone taking the piss?"

"Oh that's cute!" Saki laughed genteelly. "Is this drink forcing her to rhyme?"

"Looks like it," Naruto chuckled.

"I will stab you with a knife before you lay with your wife."

"Too late for that," Risa smirked.

"Doesn't count!" Lala pouted

"Next round then?" Momo smirked and the group were so engrossed in the game they failed to notice Rito sneak outside, unsble to sleep etween his racing thoughts and the sounds of happiness from the party.

* * *

Naruto stepped out of the house for some fresh air. "Must be going on midnight," He remarked idly. They had been playing Kings for a least an hour and he had been groped, kissed and almost pinned down and ravished by the girls. Fortunately it was Run who got the 'ravish' command from the king and Lala was less than keen on Run getting what she wanted. Naruto sensed some sort of rivalry there but chose not to look into it too much. Lala would tell him if she thought it important.

Rito noticed Naruto leave the house from his spot down the street, where he had been pacing trying to think of a solution for his relationship with Haruna and after much sould searching had come up with an answer. He would tell Naruto that Haruna liked him and tell him that he should date her. After all how could he compare to Naruto? As Rito prepared to walk over to Naruto, he noticed another familiar figure and quickly hid behinds some bins.

"N-Naruto-san?"

"Haruna?" Naruto turned to see Haruna stood staring at him. "Are you… Are you alright? It's awfully late to be walking around at this time. "

"Heh," She smiled sadly. "We… We never really called each other by our given names. I wonder why?"

"Probably because it would be awkward being so familiar after you turned my confession down."

"Ah," Haruna smiled softly. "So… It would be my fault."

"Not at all," Naruto chuckled. "If you didn't want to date me then that's fine."

"Can I ask you to walk with me?" Haruna looked at the full moon. "I… I want to want around and at this time of night…"

"Don't worry," Naruto nodded. "The girls are having a party in there so they won't miss me for a bit."

"Is Yuuki-kun in there?"

"He went straight to bed," Naruto shrugged. "Don't know why."

"Ah…" Haruna smiled softly as the two walked around absent-mindedly. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if I had said yes?"

"Honestly?" Naruto chuckled. "Up until Lala showed up that was pretty much all I thought about."

"I see." Haruna smiled sadly. "But now?"

"Now it's complicated," Naruto shook his head. "I mean… can you honestly imagine yourself as part of that madhouse?"

"I… I don't know." Haruna admitted. "I mean… You always seem to be having so much fun."

"When I'm not off picking fights with intergalactic assassins and crime lords." Naruto sighed.

"Well," Haruna tilted her head. "Besides then."

The two walked along in silence, unaware of thier tail. Not a word was spoken until Haruna chuckled softly.

"Naruto…" Haruna paused. "We ended up at the school."

"Force of habit huh?" Naruto laughed. "When we walk together we always seem to be headed here."

"Yeah…" Haruna entered the school grounds and Naruto followed her. "It seems like we used to be inseparable but ever since we started this year… we've started to grow apart."

"You know I am always just a phone call away," Naruto pulled out his phone for emphasis.

"I remember when my number was one of the very few numbers on that phone." Haruna smiled.

"Yeah…" Naruto looked at his contacts. "I sure have a few more people on this thing now."

"I'm happy for you," Haruna paused before the cherry blossom tree where Naruto had confessed to her, although at this time of year there was no blossoms in the branches. "But still… I need to ask you something."

"Haruna?"

"Naruto… I like you," She looked him in the eyes. "Would you go out with me?"

Rito froze at those words. _'Even though she had already told me... To hear her actually confess to Naruto.'_ He closed his eyes, tears forming in his eyes and threatening to spill. So consumed with his own emotions, he didn't hear Naruto's response.

Naruto froze up as he saw her looking at him. Not so long ago he would have said yes without a moment's hesitation. As she stood before him, bathed in the moonlight she looked positively angelic. Part of him wanted to say yes, to take her in his arms and never let go but he knew deep down that isn't what would be right. She wasn't confessing to him out of love… She was confessing to him out of fear that she was going to lose him. Her earlier outburst about Lala showed that much.

"No." Naruto said the words he would have never imagined himself saying. "I don't think we'd make a good couple." _'That's a blatant lie.' _"I… I think we should just be friends."

"Right," Haruna smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. "You're right." She sniffled sadly. "I… I guess this is what you felt like when I…"

"Don't worry about it," Naruto smiled reassuringly. "In the morning you'll feel much better. I did." _'Another lie…' _"I… have outgrown those feelings I had for you so you don't need to worry about it." _'Thank the gods I didn't take that truth potion…' _

"It doesn't feel like it will go that quickly," Haruna whispered.

"Besides… we both know that someone else needs your love more than me." Naruto put a hand on her shoulders. "Go get him. You don't have to worry about my feelings."

"Thank you." Haruna wiped her tears away. "Naruto."

"No… thank you Haruna," Naruto grinned. "I think we both needed this eh?"

"Yes," Haruna smiled and hugged Naruto just as Rito started to pay attention again.

"Eh?"

"You will always be dear to me." Haruna whispered.

"Don't worry," Naruto returned the hug. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise that. No matter what I will always be here if you need me."

"I know." She whispered as she gripped his jacket tightly. "Thank you so much…"

The two of them just stayed like that, Haruna's tears soaking Naruto's shirt.

"I needed that," Haruna finally broke the hug, her eyes red from the tears shed. "I… I should go home."

"I'll walk you back," Naruto smiled.

"Thank you," Haruna smiled softly before kissing him softly on the lips.

On witnessing this... something inside Rito snapped. He silently left the scene, a dark rage slowly bubbling inside of him.

"Eh?!" Naruto blinked taken by surprise by Haruna's actions. "Why?"

"I had to... Sorry," She bowed apologteically. "And.. I'm sorry about what I said about Lala."

"Don't worry about," Naruto chuckled. "I know you didn't mean anything bad about Lala by that."

"R-right," Haruna unlocked her door and went inside. "Goodnight Naruto."

"Night Haruna," He smiled as she shut the door.

"Ah man," Naruto walked away from her house.

"You really are an idiot."

"Momo?" Naruto paused to see the devilukian princess emerge from the shadows.

"Didn't she confess to you?" Momo tilted her head. "I don't get why you said no."

"I told her what she needed to hear." Naruto bit his lip.

"Come on," Momo smiled softly as she hugged him. "Let's get you back to the house. King's isn't as much fun without a chance of making out with you."

"Momo," Naruto grinned at her. "Thanks… I'm glad I met you. I love you."

"… I know," Momo smiled. "You are a very loving person. Well I hope you know what you are doing."

"I do." Naruto nodded. "This is what's best for everyone."

"So you say," Momo shook her head as they headed home.

"It's for the best," Naruto mumbled, ignoring the stabbing pain in his heart as he remembered her tear stained face in the moonlight. If he knew that Haruna was still curled up at the door sobbing her eyes out then he might have believed differently. If he knew that Rito had witnessed the confession and the kiss but couldn't hear Naruto's response, he would have believed differently.

By the time he knew all this… events would have spiralled beyond his control and the cost would be high.

But he didn't know any of this so he went back to his precious people and played Kings, unaware of the events he had set in motion by trying to do what he thought was right.

But you know what they say: The path to Hell is paved with good intentions

* * *

Extra Info!

Asmodea's Corruption

The ability for which Asmodea was widely known was her ability to corrupt beings. Her greatest achievement was the fall Of Abados, a powerful Angus General (Who was favoured to take the position of The First Amonst Equals among the Arcangus). Michaela arranged a situation where her main rival for top spot would be isolated and gave Asmodea enough information to allow the Damus to design a deal that Abbados would never turn down. The end result was the Angus was twisted in flesh and mind, becoming the bloodthrirsty Damus general that would claim many Damus and Angus lives before she was finally destroyed with the rest of the Damus by the Great Destroyer; Kaguya.

This ability can corrupt the flesh (causing cancerous growths and general deformation of a body. Theoretically these corruptions could be improvements although Asmdoea never used this ability to buffer her allies, only to weaken her enemies) or infect thier energy (causing it to behave erratically or even in some cases to allow Asmodea complete control over there energy she has corrupted.)

Naruto's Compression Ability

Naruto's ability to compress energy is unique to him. This essetially means his shoten techniques as well as Akuma no Hageshi Goon and his Rasengan variants can only be used by him as they make use of this unique ability. The origins of this power is not understood and despite her searches, Lala has found no mention of such an ability in the records she has access to. For now she believes it is just a freak mutation and that thier children will carry the ability as well. 


	26. Chapter 26: Dresses and Messes

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: This was originally supposed to be an Xmas Chapter but that didn't quite work out. Then it was supposed to be a New Years chapter but once again it was late, My bad.

This is a longer than usual chapter with a kind of lemon at the end, As usual I have marked it clearly where the lemon starts so if you have no interest in it, you don't have to read below the lines.

Hope you all had a good Xmas and New Years eve and lets hope for a good 2016!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or To Love Ru,

* * *

**Chapter 26: Dresses and Messes**

Naruto blinked sleepily as he moved to rub the sleep out of his eyes. There was a foul taste in his mouth, the aftertaste of one of the many potions he had drunk last night he suspected. He tried to move but as the feeling returned to the rest of his body, he realised someone was laid on top of him. Judging by the impressive breasts he could feel pressing against his chest, it was probably Lala. He struggled to recall how the night had ended: He had turned Haruna's confession down (Which still sounded so foreign to him he was starting to wonder whether it was just an effect of one of the potions he had drunk) and had been dragged home by Momo who started another round of kings. He blearily looked around and could make out several female figures all sleeping on soft coaches all around him.

"Morning." He grumbled as his eyes finally adjusted to the light, revealing a sight he had not been expecting. While he had never seen her in this sort of a state, her hair a mess and her mouth slightly ajar with a thin trail of drool, there was no mistaking that Yui was asleep on top of him. She was wearing the short skirt and shrine maiden outfit that she had been wearing last night, just as he was still wearing the open jacket that showed off his bare chest where Yui was currently nuzzling. "Yui?"

Yui mumbled something incomprehensible and snuggled into Naruto's chest.

"Well this is something," Naruto chuckled before Yui grumbled and adjusted her position, the rising of his chest causing her to become uncomfortable. "Yui-chan? Wake up Yui-chan."

"Huh?" Yui stirred and rubbed the sleep from her eyes before turning to face Naruto. "Naruto?"

"Good morning," Naruto smiled. "How are you today?"

"Oh…" Yui smiled softly. "It's that dream again."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked as Yui kissed him passionately, her hands cupping his face and holding him in place as her tongue probed his lips, as if asking permission to enter which Naruto was happy to provide, their two tongues clashing in a passionate duel, her hands stroking Naruto's hair as his hands travelled down her body, gently stroking her sides as the kiss continued until Yui broke it with a trail of saliva still joining the two.

"This dream is more vivid than I remember," Yui mumbled sleepily as she leaned in and kissed Naruto again, her hands stroking his abs as he slipped his hands beneath her skirt, gently massage her rear over the top of her panties as he felt his desire building.

"Ah," Yui gasped as she broke the kiss again. "You… You've never done that before." She looked at Naruto.

"That's because this isn't a dream," Naruto assured her.

"Of course it is," Yui leaned forwards. "As if I would have done something as shameless as sleep over at a boy's house."

"Your boyfriend's house," Naruto corrected softly as he stroked her face.

"Yes…" Yui smiled lovingly. "_My _boyfriend's house…" She leaned forward to kiss Naruto again but banged her head on the table they were laid next to. "Ouch… Wait a minute." Yui's eyes suddenly shot open wide. "I… I felt that." She slowly turned to Naruto with a bright red blush on her face. "T-t-that means…"

"I did tell you that you were awake," Naruto pointed out.

"S-sorry!" Yui quickly jumped off of him blushing.

"There's no need to apologise," Naruto smiled at her. "I liked waking up with you in my arms."

"I-idiot!" Yui looked around furiously. "What time is it?"

"Er…" Naruto squinted at the clock. "I think it is 8:45. Man we really overslept…"

"W-what?!" Yui blinked. "We are late for school?!" She leapt to her feet, disturbing the other sleeping girls.

"Who's that?" Momo grumbled as she threw a pillow in Yui's direction, striking her square in the chest. "Trying to sleep here."

"We have overslept!" Yui picked up a glass and a spoon and started to bang them together.

"Why?" Risa mumbled as she pulled herself off of the table that she was laid on. "Is this table so sticky?" She managed to peel herself away.

"Probably because we spilt some potions on it," Nana blinked stupidly. "What's the big emergency?"

"We are late for school!" Yui repeated herself.

"Oh," Nana blinked. "Don't care."

"Same here," Risa yawned. "Can I get some breakfast?"

"I'll get right on it," A cutely yawning Mikan stretched out and stood up.

"I'll help," Mikado struggled to her feet before falling back down. "Or maybe not."

"But what about school?!" Yui helped Mikado to her feet. "You should have been there hours ago!"

"Yui-chan," Mikado smiled softly at the panicking girl. "There is no school today."

"Eh?"

"The Principal is under investigation by the police so the school has been closed for a week. I got the phone call earlier on and decided to let everyone carry on sleeping."

"It was a long time coming," Naruto remarked. "Do you know the school used to be one of the best in the area until he took over?"

"Yes. I was there, remember? Besides it was actually the principal before him that ruined everything. He has gotten the school back to a respectable level although admittedly nowhere near its past glory." Mikado smirked as she stretched out. "Oops," She stuck her tongue out as a button pinged off of her lab coat under the strain of her stretches. "Guess my boobs are a little too big for this outfit."

"Hate you," Nana mumbled as she put her hands on her somewhat lacking chest.

"Don't worry." Momo smiled. "I'm sure you'll have your growth spurt eventually…" She turned to Kushina who was sat next to them. "She's a lost cause unfortunately."

"I heard that!" Nana pointed at Momo angrily. "Don't think you are so mature just because you've got breasts! They are just lumps of fat!"

"Don't hate the player, hate the game," Momo remarked airily.

"Hmph!" Nana turned her back to Momo. "When your boobs are all saggy then we shall see who is the superior twin!"

"How about we find out now?" Momo grabbed Nana's tail causing her to gasp and fall to her knees. "So who is the superior twin?"

"M-Me…" Nana gasped erotically.

"Is that so?" Momo licked her tail causing her to gasp. "Sure you don't want to change that answer?" She lightly breathed on the area that she had just liked causing Nana to spasm as if an electric shock had travelled through her entire body.

"N-N-Never!" Nana flailed out and grabbed Momo's tail, the other twin gasping is surprise. "You admit I am the better twin!" She started to tickle Momo's tail, resulting the in the more endowed twin gasping and falling to her knees.

"As… As if I would succumb to your technique…" Momo panted. "I… I will not lose!" She started to use her breasts as well as her tongue to stimulate Nana's tail, which in turn earned an orgasmic moan followed by one from Momo when Nana started to suckle on the tip of her bustier sister's tail. This continued for a few moments until finally one admitted defeat.

"No!" Nana gasped out. "I give! You are the superior twin!"

"That's what I thought," Momo panted as she let go of Nana's tail and stood up proudly. "I win."

"Honestly?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and crossed his legs awkwardly. _'Because I can't help feel that I was the winner here.' _

'_**I'm still trying to remember who it was who decided the Devil kin should have sensitive tails. I mean it serves no purpose in combat and to be honest is kind of a weakness.' **_Asmodea remarked.

'_I always assumed it was your decision.' _Raphael admitted.

'_**I can see why you'd think that but it wasn't me. Might have been Belial. She was all about sensitivity.' **_

"So… So… Indecent!" Yui pointed at Momo.

"Eh?" Momo blinked as Yui advanced on her.

"Have you no sense of common decency?!" Yui put her hands on her hips. "To act so… erotically in front of other people! And with your own sister!"

"It's just sibling fighting," Lala laughed and patted Yui on the shoulder. "It is common on Deviluke."

"But we are not on Deviluke," Yui rounded on Lala, "We are on Earth and as such you all should behave as Earth customs dictate." She paused. "Why are you naked?!"

"Oh?" Lala titled her head. "I always sleep naked."

"B-but you are in front of Naruto!" Yui tried to cover her up.

"So?" Lala laughed. "He has already seen me naked. Plus I sleep in the same bed as him all the time!"

"That doesn't mean I don't react to your body still though," Naruto mumbled unheard by the others as he crossed his legs again to try and hide his excitement.

"W-well…" Yui trailed off. "Still on Earth we don't just flounce around naked and KEEP THOSE CLOTHES ON!" She snapped at Risa and Kushina.

"Hey! Why does Lala get to be the only one to show off her body to Naruto?!" Kushina crossed her arms.

"I… I can't deal with this." Yui slumped. "Not this early. I need a bath."

"Well we do have several hot springs installed," Momo sat on Naruto's lap and put her arm around his neck for balance. "Why not take a relaxing soak?"

"We have hot springs?" Risa blinked. "I didn't know that."

"Well we had to redecorate them after Kushina turned into the Legendary Super Pervert." Momo coughed awkwardly. "She kind of wrecked them."

"Because someone tried to drug Naruto and make him an even more perverted beast," Nana glared at Momo. "We had to make sure that every last trace of the desire mushrooms was removed!"

"What?" Risa and Yui glanced at Momo who laughed awkwardly.

"Well Naruto and Onee-sama were taking forever to deepen their relationship," Momo ducked under a cushion thrown by Yui which struck an unimpressed Naruto in the face.

"You don't just go drugging people!" Yui pointed at her. "Just to get him to have s-s- to make love!" Yui's blush was covering her entire face at this point.

"But they both wanted it," Momo protested as another cushion was thrown at her. "Honestly I think I did everyone a favour!"

"How?" Kushina tilted her head. "You failed in every way. I was the one who got the full dose of the mushrooms and all I did was wreck the bathing area and eventually pass out seeing the mighty Excalibur."

"Excalibur?" Yui frowned.

"It's his penis," Kushina elaborated.

"W-w-what?!" Yui went bright red as Momo winked and patted Naruto's crotch earning a sigh from Naruto.

"Excalibur?" Mikado raised an eyebrow and looked at Naruto who fidgeted uncomfortably. "Don't you have an attack called Excalibur."

"Well yes," Naruto coughed, "But you see I wasn't the one who called Naruto Junior Excalibur."

"Wait a second," Risa interrupted him. "You have an attack using your dick?!"

"I can see it now," Kushina grinned. "He takes it out and slaps his opponent into submission before bending them over and rewarding them for their submission…" She started to giggle perversely. "Say… do you want to try out your attack on me?"

"My Excalibur attack involves using pure Arcangus energy to form a blade of light." Naruto remarked exasperatedly. "It does not in any way involve me getting my tackle out and well… hitting someone with it! I could have sworn that we had already had this discussion!"

"We might have done," Kushina admitted. "But some of us weren't here for that discussion."

"Still," Risa remarked. "It would certainly be a surprising attack."

"I wouldn't see it coming," Momo agreed. "Although that would possibly because I would be bent over when it did _come._" She smirked.

"You are all perverts," Nana grumbled.

"Says the girl who was sucking on her sister's tail not so long ago." Momo remarked dryly.

"T-That doesn't count!" Nana defended herself.

"So… Hot spring?" Lala asked.

"W-well…" Yui frowned. "I do feel like I need a relaxing soak."

"Yay!" Lala hugged Yui. "Let's bathe together!"

"That sounds agreeable to me," Rin remarked.

"Ah!" Momo jumped. "Oh… I forgot you were here."

"I have only recently woken up," Rin rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Last night was most enjoyable," Saki added her thoughts as Aya helped her to her feet. "I must admit I enjoyed myself far more than I was expecting to."

"We should do this again," Naruto agreed.

"I would be honoured to visit again," Saki brushed off her outfit. "But I am afraid I should be getting back home."

"What about breakfast?" Mikan asked.

"Well… I suppose it would be rude to turn down a generous offer such as that." Saki smiled at the younger Yuuki.

"I will assist in the preparation of Saki-sama's food." A groggy Hanabi struggled to her feet beside Mikan.

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "Breakfast first! I can't turn down Mikan-chan's cooking."

"Mikan is quiet the talented chef," Naruto ruffled her hair playfully earning an unimpressed glare from the shorter Yuuki.

"You should add her to the harem," Momo suggested.

"Eh?!" Mikan went bright red and went to cover her face.

"Don't embarrass the girl Momo," Naruto shook his head. "Mikan-chan is far too young to be thinking about romance and stuff like that." He walked off shaking his head. "You girls enjoy yourselves." He glanced at his phone which was vibrating. "Apparently Kenichi is in some sort of trouble so I'll have a quick shower then go and see what the issue is."

"I didn't hear a no!" Momo called after the retreating Naruto.

"Don't worry," Yami nodded to Mikan and formed a blade out of her hair. "I will protect you against his ecchi behaviour."

"T-thanks," Mikan laughed weakly before glancing at Naruto's retreating back. "But I don't think you will have to worry. After all," She sighed sadly. "Naruto has no interest in a girl as young as me." She slowly walked off to finish the breakfast.

"Hmm…" Lala tapped her lips thoughtfully watching Mikan.

"You have a plan don't you?" Momo sat down beside her big sister.

"Maybe," Lala beamed before racing off. "I have some work to do!"

"Onee-sama," Momo smiled softly. "I wonder just what you are planning. Oh well." She shrugged. "I'm sure whatever you are planning will be entertaining at least."

* * *

"Aah," Momo stretched out as she settled into the hot spring. Thanks to Lala's genius it now looked and felt like an outdoor spring despite it being nine in the morning. Above them the starry night sky twinkled romantically. "It's been a while since we've all bathed together."

"We had a hot spring at the school trip didn't we?" Yui frowned softly as she adjusted her towel.

"Well we didn't get to join in," Momo gestured to Nana and herself, "At least not in an official capacity."

"Although you joined in the paint ball game," Kushina reminded them as she laid back, feeling the warm water ease away the stiffness in her neck from the odd position she had been in when she fell to sleep.

"T-that shameless principal's idea!" Yui scowled. "With the dissolving clothes…"

"Who won that game?" Nana was sat on the edge of the bath, relaxing her feet and clutching a towel to her chest.

"I think it was Lala," Kushina glanced at the devilukian who nodded eagerly.

"Hai!" She beamed. "And I gave the prize to Naruto and Yui-chan for their first date."

"The ball," Yui smiled softly.

"Where Naruto confessed to you," Momo nodded. "I wish he would confess to me."

"He kind of did," Lala titled her head. "Back when he was fighting that Puppeteer Prince, Kankuro I think was his name."

"Yeah," Nana smiled softly. "He yelled at papa for saying we were imperfect and Naruto said he would protect us from our suitors and kick Papa's ass for calling us flawed."

"That sounds like Naruto-san," Rin nodded as she entered the hot spring clad in a towel and followed by Saki, Aya and Hanabi.

"Naruto does seem the kind of person to get into trouble for the sake of other people." Saki chuckled.

"Only for his own selfish desires though I'd wager," Hanabi grumbled. As much as she hated Naruto and by extension those who loved him, even she couldn't fault the younger Yuuki's culinary skill and was currently in a bad mood that Saki had been so pleased with the younger girl's breakfast.

"And then we both kissed him," Momo reminded her.

"Really?" Risa blinked. "You mean she wasn't always this Tsundere?"

"I was caught up in the moment!" A furiously blushing Nana tried to focus on some of the rocks in the hot springs rather than at the bemused stares of the other girls. "And I'm not a Tsundere!"

"Sure, sure," Risa cleaned out an ear. "You're not a Tsundere and Naruto doesn't have a harem."

"He doesn't!" Yui protested.

"We believe you," Momo patted Yui on the head before laughing at her expression. "Just relax will you? We are all friends here. Ain't no need for towels!" Momo declared as she ripped the towel covering Yui's chest straight off of her body. "Damn girl!" Momo whistled appreciatively.

"S-s-stop that!" Yui tried to cover herself.

"Seriously how have you not had sex with Naruto with a figure like that," Momo continued.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Well," Lala put her hands on her own breasts. "He likes to play with mine so I would imagine he would love to play with yours too!"

"He does have a bit of a thing for breasts," Kushina nodded.

"Is that so?" Saki and Rin looked at their own chests and supressed a slight smile.

"R-really?" Nana frowned as she looked angrily at her own chest, or lack thereof.

"Not that you need breasts to have sex with him," Momo added. "I mean we all know that Naruto has a big heart."

"That's not the only big thing he has," Kushina and Risa remarked at the exact same time before looking at each other and high fiving.

"I must admit," Saki remarked with a smile. "I didn't expect you all to be getting along so well. After all you are all interested in the same guy."

"Well we could fight over him," Risa smirked. "But what's the point? Naruto wouldn't be happy if he knew someone else was miserable because he had to choose one of us."

"Plus I always wanted a big family!" Lala declared. "So this way it is like I have lots of sisters!"

"We are a big family," Yui nodded softly smiling, having recovered her towel.

"I see," Saki tapped her lips thoughtfully.

"Why? Thinking of joining?" Momo asked as she sidled over to Saki. "I'll admit you probably won't have any difficulty convincing Naruto."

"Oh?" Saki smiled softly. "Why is that?"

"Well you are fairly attractive and Naruto seems to have a good opinion of you." Momo cleared out his ear. "Not sure why considering you did kidnap him once. Ah-ah-ah!" She wagged a finger at Hanabi. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Hanabi scowled as she held a phone in her hand, before pressing the send button with a vindictive smirk.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Momo grinned evilly.

"Am I missing something?" Lala blinked.

"It's not important," Momo clapped her hands together, "And as far Rin… Well you and Naruto have quite the history. I mean you were best friends then a friend tricked you into hating Naruto despite the fact he nearly died to save someone that you were supposed to be protecting and instead decided to compete in a tournament. He even gave up his chance at competing so that you could qualify for the nationals… How did you repay him for that?" Momo asked innocently.

"Well…" The guilty looking Rin slowly sunk into the bath.

"Leave her alone," Saki chided Momo. "We all make mistakes."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Momo nodded. "After all Rin was tricked into hating Naruto. You knew perfectly well what you were doing when you kidnapped him."

"I… Well…" Saki frowned softly.

"Why did you do it by the way?"

"I…" Saki looked away embarrassed.

"What?"

"I was…" Saki murmured something.

"I didn't' quite catch that."

"I was jealous of Lala's popularity at school alright?!" Saki crossed her arms and huffed.

"Aw you didn't have to be jealous!" Lala declared as hugged Saki.

"It's just…" Saki fidgeted in Lala's hug, "I had always been the Queen of Sainan High… No one had every challenged my position before."

"Silly Saki," Lala released her smiling. "I never wanted to take your title from you."

"I… I get that now," Saki chuckled. "All you care about is being with Naruto right?"

"Taking all of Naruto's first is all I care about." Lala nodded.

"Unfortunately she missed out on first bride," Risa smirked.

"And first anal sex experience," Kushina added looking equally smug.

"Doesn't count!" Lala declared as she pouted in the corner. "What happens in a time travel adventure stays in a time travel adventure."

"Oh it counted alright," Kushina sighed happily, although this was missed by the others.

"So if Naruto went back in time and ended up getting Mama pregnant and ended up being your father, it wouldn't count because it was a time travel incident?"

"Right," Lala nodded.

"So you'd still want to have sex with him? Knowing he would be your father?" Momo raised an eyebrow.

"Naruto is Naruto," Lala declared stubbornly. "Besides he isn't my father and we are going to be emperor and empress. Even if he went back in time and had sex with mama!"

"In that case," Momo grinned as she pulled out her phone. "Naruto~"

"Yes?" Naruto's voice sounded over speaker phone.

"Lala says if you go back in time and have sex with someone it isn't cheating!"

"…What?" Naruto sounded confused. "I… What?!"

"Just so you know." Momo remarked. "So should you find yourself in a situation in the past where you have the opportunity to have sex with mama then…"

"No!" Lala snatched the phone. "You can't have sex with just anybody! I have to approve them into the harem first so no sleeping with Mama!"

"I wasn't planning on it," Naruto sounded completely lost.

"Good," Lala blew a kiss at the phone. "Love you!"

"Love you too," Naruto chuckled. "And everyone else there." There was a click as he hung up.

"Momo!" Lala pouted at her sister.

"What?" Momo titled her head. "I was merely passing on a message to Naruto."

"Not just anyone can join our group!" Lala crossed her arms. "They have to be our kind of people! Like Saki and Rin-chan!"

"Pardon?" Rin blinked.

"People who like Naruto and are good people," Lala clarified.

"Oh?" Saki smiled. "Well _if _I do join this little group, I will not be willing to just sit back and let you take first place."

"She's not the one you need to beat," Risa interrupted. "After all I am the first bride."

"It doesn't count!" Lala pouted. "Only the galactic wedding counts!"

"Then I shall have to be his first bride at that," Saki remarked with a coy smile.

"I've beaten everyone once," Risa smirked. "I can easily do it again."

"Muu…" Lala was vibrating with rage.

"Lala?" Saki and Risa glanced at her and froze. Her eyes were pure white and they could barely hear anything besides the beating of their own hearts and what sounded like ominous Latin chanting backed up by a full orchestra.

"J-just joking," Risa beamed.

"R-right," Saki smiled.

"Oh!" The suffocating presence vanished instantly and Lala brightened up.

"Remind me," Saki blinked as Lala happily settled in the bath. "Not to upset her."

"I don't know," Risa grinned. "I am 90% sure that she wouldn't actually hurt us and it is so much fun to point out that I am married to Naruto."

"You have a death wish." Saki shivered as she watched Lala happily splash in the bath.

"Saki-sama," A clearly irate Hanabi clutched her towel to her chest. "I do believe we have wasted enough time here. Milady has to find a dress for the charity ball tomorrow."

"Oh yes," Saki sighed as she got out of the bath, "Well I wish I could have had a more relaxing soak but unfortunately business calls."

"Oh?" Lala was currently floating on her back. "You are going dress shopping?"

"That is correct," Saki bowed. "I must buy a new dress for an event that a family friend is hosting."

"Let's go together!" Lala declared. "We can look at wedding dresses!"

"That… That would be pleasant," Saki smiled.

"Sounds like today is going to be a girl's day huh?" Mikado murmured from a corner in the bath. She was laid naked with cucumbers over her eyes.

"Let the young girls have their fun," Kushina stretched out on a lounger next to Mikado. "Do me a favour and turn the sun on."

"Will do," Lala clapped her hands and suddenly the starry sky and hot spring were replaced with a glorious sunny day and a cool swimming pool.

"How did I cope without Devilukian technology?" Kushina sighed happily as she started to sunbathe.

"Mmm?" Mikado reached under her lounger and pulled out a large sun hat that she put over her face, before drifting back off to sleep.

* * *

"This had better be important," Naruto grumbled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"It is manly sage!" Kenichi nodded furiously as Naruto walked down the street after him.

Naruto chose not to remark. The streets were surprisingly bustling, although Naruto wondered if that was due to the reduced presence of the Panther's gang. Lately they had all vanished without a trace.

"I wonder if I should be concerned about that," Naruto muttered to himself as he followed Kenichi into a child's playground. "Kenichi… If you are going to tell me that I need to be more inclusive in my (non-existent) Harem and pick up some lolis I will have to kill you."

"I would never do such a thing Master!" Kenichi looked affronted. "You have the perfect Loli ratio as it is!"

"I… I don't have any Loli members in my family."

"Well there is the quiet blonde one and then Rito's younger sister and there is the youngest Devilukian sister," Kenichi listed them off.

"Yami and I… We don't have that kind of a relationship…." Naruto laughed weakly. _'All she really does is spend 50% of her time stalking me and the other 50% of her time with Mikan.' _"Mikan is just a friend anyway. She's Rito's sister for crying out loud and Nana isn't a loli. She is just… underdeveloped for her age."

"As the master says," Kenichi winked at him. "Say no more."

"Right…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "So why are we here?"

"Well that is simple!" Kenichi looked around suspiciously before leading him towards a large bin and knocking on it three times.

"Be they big or tiny, bouncy or still; Breasts are the best their beauty can kill." Kenichi whispered at the bin.

"Ah Kenichi-kun." The top of the bin lifted to reveal the perverted principal. "And you brought Naruto-dono! Maybe my luck is finally changing."

"…Before I go back home, give me a good reason for why I am here." Naruto groaned.

"I have been framed!" The principal declared. "The charges against me are completely fake!"

"And the charges are?"

"That I spy on my pupils in the changings rooms." The Principal declared.

"Well I'm sure jail will suit you," Naruto span around to leave until the principal fell out of the bin and grabbed his leg.

"Naruto-dono! I need your help!"

"Why should I help you? You do spy on the girls in the changing room!"

"I assure you that I would never do such a thing! I spy on them after they leave the changing rooms fully dressed!"

"You tried to perv on the girls when we had the school trip." Naruto pointed out.

"That was in a hot spring?!" The principal sobbed. "What hot blooded man could resist?!"

"Plenty could!" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Why should I help you avoid punishment for something you have actually done!"

"The police say I have been filming the girls and posting the footage online but I never film the girls I spy on! I only enjoy being there… the smells and sights…"

"Focus, you old pervert," Naruto kicked the Principal. "Wait… You said the footage had been uploaded online?!"

"That's why I called you," Kenichi passed his phone to Naruto, revealing a video where a naked Lala was happily chatting to other girls in his class as they were getting changed. "Someone has framed Principal-sama and is posting videos that reveal sights that only you should get to see!"

"The quality of the camera is pretty poor," Naruto mused. "I only know it is Lala because I spend so much time with her. Plus, you can't really see any details. As strange as it might sound, I actually believe that you aren't responsible."

"Naruto-dono!"

"If you were responsible I'd imagine the picture quality would be better," Naruto stroked his chin. "Whoever took this video didn't take it in order to look at it. You can barely make out anything. Still when I find who is responsible…" He cracked his knuckles. "I will have to have a few words."

"Then you will prove my innocence?" The Principal bowed before Naruto with his head touching the pavement. "I thank thee Naruto-dono!"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Now who could possible gain anything from getting the principal fired?"

"Everyone?" Kenichi tilted his head. "After all this school used to be one of the best in the area until he became principal."

"Actually," The principal cleared his throat. "It was the Principal before me who ruined the school. I have been slowly restoring it to its former glory."

"There is still the entire female population of the school," Kenichi pointed out. "We have no shortage of suspects… Maybe if we could find the original camera…"

"This wasn't taken with a camera," Naruto frowned. "You see that mark at the bottom there?"

"Oh the strange dolphin watermark?" Kenichi peered at the video.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "There was a brand of phone that wasn't very popular because it put that watermark on all of its pictures and films. Let me see your phone Principal."

"Here you go Naruto-dono!"

"…" Naruto started at the offered phone.

"It's that brand isn't it?" Kenichi blinked.

"Yup," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Well that sucks." Naruto took the phone and frowned. "Wait a minute. How long is the video?"

"Oh about ten minutes," Kenichi paused as Naruto stared at him. "I didn't watch it all the way through! I waited until Lala, Risa, Saki, Yui and Rin were not in the picture. I would never dream of spying on your harem members!"

"Since when did Saki and Rin become members of my family?" Naruto rubbed his forehead. "But that's not the issue here! This phone," He waved the principal's phone around, "Only has enough memory for a five-minute video and has no capacity for extra memory. That means this phone can't have been the one that took that video. In fact, I think the actual video software on this phone has a limit to two minutes. Even if the person were to take several videos and patch them together on a computer, there would be an obvious jump as the film stopped and had to be restarted again. The last phone made by this company would be the only one capable of filming those videos."

"Unless someone deliberately modified the video on a computer to make you come to that assumption." The principal pointed out.

"Well yeah," Naruto grumbled, annoyed that his moment of brilliance had been ruined so quickly.

"How do you know so much about phones?" Kenichi blinked.

"Oh I tinker around with things," Naruto replied dismissively. "At least I used to until Lala showed up."

"Ah I see," Kenichi nodded. "You have more entertaining things than tinkering to do now."

"Moving swiftly onwards," Naruto coughed weakly. "That means this isn't the phone we are looking for but whoever tried to frame the principal knew he used this kind of phone and thought up this plan to frame him…"

"Ah hah!" Kenichi nodded. "So do we try and take the phones of all the girls in our school?"

"We don't know where they all live and it's a bit hard to ask a girl for her phone out of the blue." Naruto frowned. "Can you think of anyone who would want to do this to you who you have upset recently?"

"Not at all Naruto-dono. I am loved by all."

"… If we can't find the culprit you should go for an insanity plea," Naruto chuckled. "But let's head to the scene of the crime."

"Oh! Are you playing detective?!"

"Kyo-chan?" Naruto blinked as the magical girl actress walked up to them. She was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "I wondered where you had gone."

"Ah sorry," Kyouko laughed, "I had to go and film a scene from my new movie. Fortunately, the scene I was in was filmed nearby and I have just gotten back. But still," She put her arm around Naruto. "Is it time for the Terrible Twosome to crack open this case?"

"Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a little extra help." Naruto admitted.

"I shall continue to hide Principal-sama," Kenichi gave Naruto the thumbs up gesture. "Good look Master Manly Sage of Awesomeness!"

"Save me Naruto-dono. You are my only hope." The principal declared before hiding in the bin again.

"Never a dull moment huh?" Kyouko laughed. "So where are we headed?"

"To Sainan High," Naruto smirked.

"Terrible Twosome away!" Kyouko declared.

* * *

"Are you alright?" A soft voice came from her door but Haruna was not in the mood to acknowledge it. "I've left your dinner outside just… help yourself to it okay?"

Haruna merely hugged her knees tighter as she hid under her duvet. Naruto had said the pain would go but right now Haruna was starting to doubt it ever would. Was this her punishment for having feelings for both Rito and Naruto? Why was it that she was forced through this agony when Naruto was able to get everyone he loved (minus her) to work together and be one big family. Was it that he had already suffered when she had turned him down? Was it selfish of her to want Rito and Naruto to be like that for her? Her mind was full of questions that only lead to more questions, never answers.

She glanced at the tear stained photo album and pulled it onto her lap, idly flicking through the pictures. There were so many that had Naruto on them that Haruna started to suspect that a large part of her life was her time spent with Naruto.

A picture caught her eye. It was the time Naruto had gotten sick when he had dived into the lake to save her favourite hat which had been blown off of her head. He had spent a week in bed and the doctors said that it was lucky he wasn't more badly hurt, diving into a river at the coldest and windiest day that they had seen in their local area for a while.

Whilst she had apologised to Naruto, he had merely laughed it off, saying the doctors were making a big fuss about nothing. He told her to keep smiling and visiting him and he would be up and about before she knew it. Even when he was at his sickest, he never once blamed her, his eyes never held anything other than that spark of life that she had come to associate with Naruto as much as his cheeky grin.

Risa had not been so forgiving. She had slapped Haruna and accused her of causing Naruto to get hurt. At first she was shocked that Risa had hit her. The two were good friends and Haruna had always thought that nothing would come between them. It was then that Haruna started to realise something. Risa had feelings for Naruto.

Ever since that day she couldn't help but see the little clues, Risa would always suggest a game then look at Naruto for his approval. She would always choose Naruto first when they were playing team games with other children. If she was uncertain as to whether she wanted to play with Haruna, the mere possibility that Naruto might be joining them would convince her to come out and play.

Haruna would always try and invite both of her friends though, not wanting Risa to think she was trying to separate them out of jealousy. She wanted her friends to stay with her no matter what but knew that both her and Risa had a soft spot for their blonde haired friend. She could think of no way that their friendship could survive if someone confessed. It would be a few months after the cold incident where she would bump into a friendly, if somewhat clumsy, orange haired youth in the Gardening club.

Rito Yuuki was not like most boys she knew. He was kind and shy. He didn't feel the need to be macho or strong and always seemed like he was happy with who he was. When she looked back she realised the two had been running into each other for some time but she never really noticed until that day. Rito was similar enough to Naruto that Haruna found it strangely easy to get along with him, yet different enough that she didn't feel like she was just creating a 'stand in' for Naruto.

Whilst she would get a small crush on Rito, she knew that she had feelings for Naruto. At first she felt guilty. She suspected that Naruto had feelings for her and that he could tell she had feelings for him and felt like her feelings for Rito were betraying her friendship with Naruto but then she felt relieved. Surely this was the perfect solution. Risa loved Naruto and She liked Rito. If Naruto ended up with Risa, she could date Rito and everything would work out fine. Unfortunately, before her plans could be fully realised, Naruto did something she wasn't expecting. He confessed.

He had been spending more and more time alone with her and running up to their sixteenth birthdays, she felt their friendship was closer than it should have been. Her sister always said they were an unofficial couple because of how close they were yet neither had actually asked the other out. In hindsight it was obvious that Naruto would at some point confess. He wasn't Rito after all and was confident enough in his interactions with Haruna to believe he had a good chance of getting his confession accepted.

Out of panic, she had turned him down. She hadn't wanted her friendship with Risa to be broken but at the same time she didn't want to lose Naruto so she selfishly asked him to act as if he had never confessed. She had asked him to ignore the pain he must have been feeling, the pain that now racked her chest and haunted her every moment.

Ever since then Naruto always seemed a little closed off to her. He wouldn't let her know what was bugging him (although now Haruna had a suspicion she knew just what it was) and spent far less time with her, to the point where he very rarely visited her house where he spent more time than her big sister before the confession. It wasn't just her that he was closed off to. It was as if he had shut off his heart and carried on wearing a fake smile and pretending that everything was alright.

At the same time Haruna noticed Risa growing distant from herself, getting more and more competitive in order to get Naruto's attention, steadily growing more blatant and forward with her actions. Groping other girls to try and provoke a sexual reaction from the boy who she loved, yet never really seemed to realise the depth of her feelings.

"But… Risa ended up with Naruto in the end," Haruna whispered. "But it didn't stop me losing Naruto." She felt the sting of tears and flicked through the photo album before glancing at her phone. "I… I could call him. Maybe just talking to him would make me feel better…" She flipped open her phone and scrolled through the contacts until she found Naruto and went to press dial but couldn't bring herself to. "Maybe I should call Yuuki-kun but… I don't want him to think he is my rebound."

'_Isn't he though?' _A dark voice whispered in the back of her head.

"I'm a horrible person," Haruna curled up into a ball, cradling her precious memories and wishing that there was a way to make everything better. A way to keep Naruto and Rito.

* * *

"Wow!" Lala stepped out of the limousine and looked around. "It's huge! I didn't know Earth had stores this big!" The mall they had been taken to had required an hour helicopter ride to one of the Tenjouin's island resorts but it was definitely worth it as far as Lala was concerned. She turned back to see everyone peering out of the windows of the Limo. Some of the girls hadn't come for various reasons: Mikan had decided to stay home because Rito was in a bad mood and she wanted to cheer him up and Kushina just wanted to spend the day sunbathing whereas Mikado said she had a few tests she needed to finish as well as putting the finishing touches on her project involving Oshizu.

"Well," Saki smiled, "The Tenjouin is one of the world's largest companies. This shopping mall sells everything you could possibly need. Some people come on holiday to these islands just to have access to the mall." Saki watched as everyone got out of the cars. They had changed out of the shrine maiden's clothes and into more common every day outfits, wearing jeans and skirts with t-shirts and jackets, with the exception of Hanabi who was back in her maid attire and Rin who was wearing a butler's suit with her sword on her waist.

"Saki-sama," An elderly butler walked up to them with a smile. "Rin-chan."

"Father," Rin bowed her head softly. "It is good to see you."

"Does this mean my father is here?" Saki blinked.

"Your father arrived a few hours ago." Kai, Rin's father and the head butler of the Tenjouin, looked awkward for a moment. "There is… a delicate meeting taking place and…"

"Father is trying to court someone isn't he?" Saki sighed sadly.

"No one will replace your mother in your father's heart." Kai kneeled down and put a hand on Saki's shoulder. "Never doubt that. But your father is still a young man and gets lonely."

"I know," Saki shook her head. "I… We are here for a happy shopping trip so… So tell father I won't be able to meet this new woman."

"Of course Saki-sama," Kai bowed his head softly and the girls started towards the mall.

"Are you okay?" Lala tilted her head.

"I am fine," Saki smiled at her. "I… My mother died when I was very young and… I never really got to know her that well. She was very ill after complications in my birth and caught a deadly virus that ate away at her body until she…" She paused. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sour the mood."

"Not at all," Lala hugged her slightly. "We look out for each other in Naruto's harem."

"Family!" Yui interrupted.

"If you need to talk we are here to listen." Momo smiled at her.

"I'll keep that in mind should I chose to join your little family."

"Trust me the perks are great," Risa smirked.

"R-Risa!" Yui rounded on the girl.

"What?" Risa tilted her head innocently. "I meant that Naruto is a kind and caring person and that we all look out for each other. Between Lala's genius inventions, Mikan's amazing cooking and…" She paused. "Wow I've just realised that me and Kushina really don't contribute much to the harem. Mikado is a doctor, Lala a genius, Nana and Momo have their animal and plant talents that they use and Yui is like the voice of reason. All I am good for is having sex with Naruto."

"You support him in your own way!" Lala smiled at her reassuringly as they walked along the pathway to the mall that went through a swimming park.

"You're right," Risa nodded. "Being his first wife and all."

There was a loud splash as a pouting Lala pushed her off the pathway into the swimming pool.

"Totally worth it," A soaking Risa clambered out of the pool.

"I am starting to wonder if you have a death wish," Saki chuckled behind her small collapsing fan. "Now I must go and look at dresses with Rin, Aya and Hanabi-chan. Kai, could you escort my friends to the wedding dress store?"

"As you wish Saki-sama."

"Aww…" Lala pouted cutely, "Aren't you coming with us?"

"Unfortunately no." Saki smiled. "One my dress is picked I have various other tasks that must be achieved. However, I will endeavour to visit your home after the charity ball. Until then I will be fully booked."

"That's a shame," Momo sighed.

"As an apology, should you see a dress you like feel free to have it reserved and I shall make sure that it is paid for and delivered to you."

"R-really?" Yui blushed. "I don't… That is to say…"

"Please," Saki smiled at Yui, "Consider it a gift. If it makes you feel better, I don't have to pay for anything here so it isn't costing me anything."

"Well if you insist," Risa wrung the water out of her shirt. "Then who are we to argue?"

"I will be seeing you all later," Saki paused thoughtfully. "In fact I will see if I can get you tickets to the charity ball as well."

"Really?" Lala beamed.

"Consider them my apology for… forcefully relocating Naruto." Saki had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Water under the bridge," Momo laughed. "Naruto doesn't seem to care so neither will we. So long as you don't do it again."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Saki smiled before walking away happily, flanked by Aya and Rin. Hanabi narrowed her eyes and stared at the girls before following her mistress.

"That Hanabi has issues," Nana remarked bluntly.

"I'm sure she has her reasons," Lala remarked happily as she led the girls into the store. "Wow!" She gasped. "I've never seen so many dresses!"

"It would take forever to get in and out of one." Yui remarked. "That's a shame."

"Hehehe," Lala beamed. "Not for us!"

"Eh?" Risa tilted her head as Lala presented a small hair clip. "What is it?"

"It's Peke!" Lala announced as the small robot transformed into its usual form.

"Oh hey there," Momo nodded at the robot. "I wondered where you had gotten to."

"I have always been with Lala-sama," Peke announced. "However seeing as Naruto-san has a tendency to rip clothes off of Lala-sama it was decided that she should wear real clothes rather than have me mimic them."

"What?" Yui went pale. "N-Naruto has been ripping the clothes off of Lala?!"

"She isn't the only one," Risa smirked. "Whilst sex with Naruto is amazing… It does tend to damage your wardrobe."

"I… I see…" Yui mumbled awkwardly. "But how does this help us?"

"Like this!" Lala happily tossed aside her clothes and pointed at a dress. "I want to wear that one!"

"As you wish Lala-sama," Peke flew towards Lala before transforming and covering her in a beautiful dress. It was a strapless dress and had a rose between her breasts and on her hip, where the dress split revealing her legs. Her legs were covered by stockings and a translucent veil fell behind her head.

"W-wow…" Yui blinked in disbelief. "You really do look like a princess."

"Thanks!" Lala beamed as she spun around and checked her appearance in the mirror. "I saw this one and I knew that it would be the one!" She grinned.

"R-really?" Risa glanced. "You are just going with the first dress?"

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "Don't you like it?"

"It's great and it really suits you but just picking the first dress you find seems, I don't know," She glanced at Yui.

"Such a decision should not be made lightly," Yui pointed out.

"I'm picking this one," Lala declared as Peke reformed and she got dressed. "But see we don't have to worry about getting into the dress and damaging it. We can just use Peke!"

"I was created to serve," Peke remarked cheerfully.

"Hey Peke," Momo grinned. "Turn into this one would you?" She smirked as she passed a catalogue to the robot who quickly transformed.

"How shameless!" Yui blushed and turned away quickly.

"You don't like it," Momo smirked as she twirled around. She was wearing a blue corset with a matching veil, decorated with blue roses. Similar coloured stockings travelled to her thighs, held up by a small blue ribbon connected to the corset but rather than a dress to cover her legs, a string thong was on display. "I think Naruto would really like it." She posed with a smirk.

"Rejected!" Lala declared.

"Onee-sama?" Momo sighed. "Fine then, try this one Peke." She gestured at a dress that one of the mannequins in the store was wearing. As with Lala's this had a rose between her breasts although her dress was white and had straps that lay across her shoulders. It had delicate gloves that stopped just above her elbows and a large billowing dress, decorated periodically with the small white roses although the veil remained the same as before. A large white bow finished off the dress, resting just above the billowing skirt.

"Much better!" Lala nodded. _'I can't have anyone getting more of Naruto's attention on our wedding! I am his first bride and should be the one everyone is looking at!' _

"Don't worry," Momo grinned, "I'm wearing the other dress underneath for the honeymoon."

"I should have seen that one coming," Yui sighed heavily.

"So who wants to try on a dress?" Lala beamed as she held Peke in her arms.

"W-well," Yui looked around, "I mean… It would be a waste not to at least see what I look like in a wedding dress but… that doesn't mean I'm ready for marriage! That's a big step and one that should be thought about long and hard. I mean a rushed marriage will never end well."

"…You know I'm used to Lala having issues with my marriage but I never figured Yui would," Risa remarked.

"Ah!" Yui looked at Risa, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

"It's alright," Risa laughed. "Under usual circumstances you would be right but let's be honest. What about our current situation is normal?"

"That… That is a good point," Yui mumbled thoughtfully.

"So let's try on this dress," Risa pointed to one of the dresses.

"Nope," Lala stuck her tongue out. "You've already got a wedding dress."

"What?!" Risa stepped back. "But that one was picked for me! I didn't have any say in it!"

"Well if you want to wear a different dress then you'll have to admit that it is not your wedding dress as you were not married!"

"Seriously?!" Risa tilted her head at the smug looking Lala. "You are serious aren't you?"

"Ane-ue is really annoyed about not being Naruto's first bride huh?" Nana sighed as she watched Risa try and convince Lala to let her pick a dress.

"Of course she is," Momo shook her head. "She had been planning her marriage to Naruto since she was like six maybe seven years old. Back when she was surrounded by all sorts of scumbags all fighting to be her 'suitor' she never stopped smiling because she knew that one day she would meet Naruto and everything would work out. She has put hell of a lot of effort into finding Naruto and getting him to fall in love with her. Is it really such a surprise that she is upset by something that negatively affects her plans?"

"I didn't know that Onee-sama knew Naruto from that long ago!"

"She visited Earth with Mama and Choumei-san." Momo shrugged. "I guess they met up at some point then."

"He must have made a real impression on her," Nana frowned softly. "I don't remember much from back then but I do remember Ane-ue used to look sad most of the time."

"Until she visited Earth," Momo nodded. "I only recently found that out myself. Onee-sama told me when we were discussing wedding plans."

"Oh?" Nana tilted her head. "Has Ane-ue decided on a date?"

"Preferably before the birth," Momo glanced at Lala who was currently hugging Yui as she looked at her reflection wearing a beautiful white dress. "Not that it really matters. Naruto will become Emperor so he can legitimise the kids regardless."

"Right," Nana nodded. "But it never hurts to take precautions right?"

"Right," Momo nodded. If for some reason Naruto didn't become emperor, his children would not be acknowledged under devilukian law if the two weren't married before the children were born. Whilst that would mean they couldn't inherit the throne, it also meant that they would be denied the education and protection that they required. The life of a Royal bastard was not a pleasant one. Momo knew she had half brothers and sisters out there who would kill her at the drop of a hat if it would grant them full royal status. It was how Gid became a fully recognised Royal after all.

Heck she was surprised none of them had tried to enter the Suitor games as there was no such crime as Incest in the Devilukian empire although it wasn't exactly welcomed. The old Tyrant Emperor, her grandfather, had declared 'I don't give a fuck what two consenting adults do in their own time. If they give birth to some sort of genetic monstrosity that is their burden to bare." Amusingly enough, this is the official writing in the code of Devilukian law.

"What are you two talking about?" Lala wandered over to them.

"Nothing important," Momo beamed at her big sister. "Say Onee-sama?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Eh?" Lala tilted her head.

"I was just thinking if you hadn't asked me to come advise you on what to wear in order to make Naruto fall in love with you… I would have never have met Naruto." She smiled softly to herself. "I would still be stuck listening to some dusty old man lecturing me on my responsibilities and forcing me to learn all about the history of the universe." Momo yawned. "Man I'm getting sleepy just thinking about it."

"Heh," Lala gave her two sisters a small hug. "Don't mention it. If you really want to pay me back help me pick out the dresses for my daughter!"

"Daughter?" Nana put a hand on Lala's stomach. Whilst it was largely unnoticeable when she was dressed, you could feel the slight bump in her belly. "You know the gender?"

"Nope," Lala shook her head. "But I can tell it is going to be a girl!"

"So…" Momo grinned. "When are you planning to bind yourself to Naruto?"

"I'm waiting for the right moment!" Lala happily flipped through a catalogue before glancing up at Yui. "Wow that looks amazing!"

"Er… Thanks," Yui blushed crimson. Her hair was pinned up with several pins in a traditional Japanese style, yet her dress was a long white dress. It hugged her body perfectly and was sexy yet at the same time pure and innocent. "I feel like a princess."

"Well technically you are one," Momo pointed out. "Or at least will be a similar thing when Naruto becomes emperor."

"I. I will," Yui's eyes started to sparkle as she imagined her life as a member of royalty.

"And we lost her," Momo waved in her front of her face before sitting back down. "What do you mean right moment?"

"When we bind to each other…" Lala looked at her tail, "It is more than just sex. It is… It is our very souls forging an unbreakable link."

"I see…" Momo sighed heavily. "Well I don't wish to hurry you but… well could you hurry up?"

"Eh?" Lala tilted her head.

"Well…" Momo fidgeted. "I've… I've actually been finding it really hard a lately not to just pin Naruto down and have sex until I lose all feeling in my body." She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Ever since he had that seal opened his scent…" Momo blushed slightly. "It's hard to explain to a Lord class Devilukian but… we berserkers are much more primal. His very scent is like an impossible strong aphrodisiac to me. It wasn't so bad when he was sealed completely but now… My seal is struggling to control my berserker instincts."

"I didn't realise," Lala blinked.

"Every time he touches me…" Momo shivers. "Just thinking about it is getting me all worked up. When I finally make love to him… there is no way I would be able to stop myself binding with him. Even with the suppressants Mama sent me I…"

"Suppressants?" Lala blinked.

"After you got pregnant Mama sent me some pills to help me control my… berserker desires should my seal prove not enough. She said one of his brides being pregnant would be a challenge for Naruto to deal with. Two would probably drive him up the wall. If not for those tablets, I would have quite probably raped Naruto after the seal was opened. His effect on me is that strong that the seal I currently have is incapable of completely supressing my lust for him."

"I never knew," Lala hugged her little sister. "But you can't rape Naruto."

"I know," Momo smiled weakly. "He would hate me… as would you and the others I'd imagine but nowhere near the level I would hate myself."

"No you misunderstand," Lala shook her head. "It is impossible for you to rape Naruto. Rape implies the lack of consent and I can guarantee if you took off your clothes and jumped him, he would be more than ready to return your affections."

"…You are probably right there," Momo grinned. "Hell even if Nana were naked he would probably sleep with her."

"What do you mean probably?!" Nana glared at her more developed twin, "He would because he loves me! N-not that I want that perverted beast to do those sort of things to me!"

"Right?" Momo chuckled. "I'm sure that's true. I mean there's probably a perfectly non-perverted explanation for how I caught you…"

"No!" Nana dived at Momo to shut her up.

"I'm glad to see you two so lively." Lala laughed.

"Remember Onee-sama," Momo struggled out of Nana's grasp. "Please hurry. I don't want to steal the first time binding with Naruto but I am running very low on those tablets and I don't know if I will be able to get more in time. I will hopefully be able to last the month but Mama says it may be some time before the next batch is ready. They have to be custom made for my DNA."

"I'll do what I can," Lala promised Momo.

"Thanks." Momo nodded.

"Is that true?" Nana asked as Lala returned to the girls who were surrounding Peke who was on the floor groaning. "About the tablets? "

"Of course not," Momo chuckled.

"The things you do to try and make Lala speed up her relationship," Nana scowled at her twin before wandering over to Lala.

"The lie wasn't that I was taking suppressants, just how many I have left." Momo sighed as she laid back on the coach she was sitting on. "I ran out this morning."

* * *

"Hmm," Naruto walked around outskie the girl's changing rooms. "Hmm."

"What exactly are we looking for?" Kyouko asked.

"Clues?" Naruto suggested weakly.

"Such as?"

"Well," Naruto flipped open his phone and loaded the video. "According the camera angle… the video was taken from the ceiling near that window," Naruto looked up at a window at the very top of the changing rooms.

"That's like 10 feet in the air," Kyouko crossed her arms. "For the old pervert to have taped that he must have used some ladders to climb up there."

"Which surely he would have been seen doing," Naruto rubbed his chin. "The angle of this picture makes it look like the camera was attached to the roof maybe? But if that's the case…"

"How did they start the videotaping? A mobile phone only has so much space and if they tried to video the entire day they would likely have ran out of space long before the girls showed up if they set it up at night."

"Unless they had a sort of remote control," Naruto mumbled.

"Or they were in the air vents."

"What?" Naruto followed Kyouko's gaze, "You're right! If someone managed to get inside there they could watch the girls and start taping and it would give a similar sort of angle. To be sure we would have to go inside the air vents and see what the view is like from them."

"Right!" Kyouko nodded. "Where would you enter the vents though?"

"If I remember there is a pair of ladders that leads to the top of the building," Naruto rubbed his chin. "There is a service entrance on the roof of the building that would allow access to the vents."

"How do you know that?" Kyouko tilted her head. "Have you been peeking at girls changing?!"

"What? No!" Naruto crossed his arms. "For your information, some students said they were hearing noises from the vents and suspected rats were getting into the vents so I helped set up traps around the access point to see if the rats were getting in that way."

"Didn't the principle hire a professional to deal with it?" Kyouko frowned.

"Well if he called a professional then the problem would become public and he was worried they would close the school." Naruto frowned. "And somehow I got roped into doing it. Turns out it was a group of boys who found out about the access point and were using it to spy on girls."

"I hope they were punished." Kyouko crossed her arms.

"The Principal handed them over to the female Kendo club who usually change in those rooms," Naruto winced at the memory. "They were rather… keen to instruct the boys the error of their ways."

"Ah," Kyouko nodded. "They got what they deserved then."

"The access panel was padlocked after that incident though," Naruto remarked. "So if the film was taken from the vents and the lock is still there then that means only someone with access to that key could have done it."

"Where is the key stored?"

"The principal's office," Naruto sighed.

"So… Still think he is innocent?"

"Only one way to find out," Naruto quickly ran off to the principal's office before returning to Kyouko, key in hand.

"That's a long ladder," Kyouko sighed.

"Don't worry, I know a shortcut," Naruto picked Kyouko up bridle style earning a surprised 'eep' from the girl. "Juden Akuma!" He launched into the air with such force that the floor beneath him exploded. "And land!" Naruto dropped onto the room with a grin.

"A little more warning next time?" Kyouko gasped as Naruto put her down. "I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest."

"Sorry," Naruto laughed and made his way over to a small hut on top of the building, unlocking it with the key he was carrying. "Well the lock is in one piece so if this is where the video was taken from then it doesn't look good for the principal. Well?" He glanced at Kyouko as he opened the vents access panel. "Do you want to do the honours?"

"Why would I?" Kyouko frowned. "That is a dark, dirty, confined space. You go in."

"But it is the girl's changing rooms!"

"The school is closed right? What are the odds of you seeing a girl in there?"

"This is me we are talking about," Naruto grumbled as he stared into the vent. "I just know some girls are going to walk in and start undressing."

"Well if they do then I'll know you weren't there to peak on them."

"That won't really be much of a consolation if a rumour spreads around school that I broke into the vent system to spy on naked girls."

"Fine… but you'll stay here right?" Kyouko asked.

"Of course," Naruto reached up on a shelf and grabbed a torch, shining it into the vent and blinked as he saw a large rat lift its head and look at him before scampering off into the vents.

"Nope, nope, nope!" Kyouko backed away, a fireball in her hands. "Not happening! Nope!"

"Fine I'll go," Naruto sighed and clambered into the vent. "Just… let me know if someone is coming."

"How?" Kyouko asked.

"I don't know? Text me or something." Naruto tapped his phone pocket. "You have my number right?"

"Yeah, Momo gave me it," Kyouko nodded.

"Well just drop me a text alright."

"You got it partner!" Kyouko gave him the thumbs up as he crawled through the vent that snaked its way throughout the building.

"What the…" Naruto scowled as he found a small stash of pervy mags in the vent above the girl's toilets. "Well that's one place to hide your stash," he murmured as he flicked through the magazines. "Man these are really old and by the looks of them for a woman rather than a man… What's this?" Naruto found an old class picture in which one of the boys had what looked like a love heart drawn around him. His face had been scratched off the picture though but judging from his build he must have been one of the sporty, popular kids. Looking at the back he could make out S.H Hearts T.S but it had a line through it and underneath that was written 'I hope you die you bastard!" He pocketed the photo and made a mental note to check the picture against records just to see how old it was.

Looking around with his torch, Naruto noticed that there was a trail through the vent that looked somewhat recent. _'So someone did come through here recently. But it can't have been the principal… no amount of effort on his part would get his bulk into this vent. The mystery thickens.' _Naruto grinned and crawled forward, cursing as he cut himself on a stray nail sticking through the vent. "Huh? Is that…" He picked up a scrap of clothing that was stuck on the nail. "A clue! Damn I am nailing this detective business!"

* * *

Whilst Naruto was crawling through the vents like a certain diagruntled cop at Christmas, Kyouko was sat searching the roof for more clues.

"Hah," Kyouko smiled. "This is kind of fun. I missed having adventures with Naruto. I guess I don't have much time for it between my film schedule and the TV show… Maybe I should just give it in? But I couldn't disappoint my fans." Kyouko sat down next the Air vents access panel. "I mean… I do like being with Naruto but he does have quite the busy love life. Shame I couldn't convince him to take part in that movie with me. That would've been fun." She sighed as she thought about the male lead she had been chosen to act alongside. He was an up and coming actor and (like many of the actors in the shows she took part in) was an alien, from her father's home planet no less. His fire powers were quite formidable and the director said they looked good together. Still she knew that if they did do the kiss scene she would be thinking of Naruto during it. She sighed happily

"Huh?" She voices approaching and quickly snuck out to see what was going. "Isn't that… Mikan?" Kyouko narrowed her eyes. "I don't recognise the girls with her though. I guess they are her classmates; they all look around the same age. What are they doing here?" She snuck closer and pulled out what looked like a phone but when she pressed a button a holographic display appeared. By idly pressing strange runes, the device showed a zoomed in picture of the girls and allowed Kyouko to hear what they were saying even though she was on the top of a building.

"I don't know," Mikan sounded unconvinced about something. "Are you sure?"

"Positive!" The girl on her left who had long brown hair and mischievous eyes that looked almost yellow to Kyouko nodded eagerly. "The school will be shut for a week and my stupid Onii-sama left his school pass so we can get into the swimming pool!"

"Is this legal?"

"Of course," The girl grinned. "Have I Ayumi Saruyama ever lead you astray before?"

"Plenty of times," Mikan deadpanned.

"N-now…" The third girl stammered. She had short blonde hair and the most brilliant blue eyes that Kyouko had seen on anyone that wasn't Naruto. "I am sure Ayumi-chan is not g-going to get us into trouble."

"Right!" Ayumi pointed to the changing rooms. "We can even use a proper high school changing room… Like real teenagers! Put her there Mio!"

"H-hai!" The blonde girl went to high give Ayumi but missed and slapped her on the nose. "Uwaa~" She moaned. "I m-messed up again…"

"Nebermind," Ayumi massaged her nose. "So is Yuuki-chan in or is she not mature enough to handle a high school encounter? Does she need to go back home with her big brother?"

"I am plenty mature enough," Mikan remarked calmly. _'That's right… I have always been told I am very mature for my years. Maybe… Maybe Naruto notices that.'_

"That's the spirit!" Ayumi declared proudly as she led the two other girls into the changing rooms.

"Huh," Kyouko remarked. "The doors weren't locked? I guess I could have just walked into the changing rooms for Naruto. Oh well." She got her phone out. "No signal? What a pain." She made her way to the vent and leaned into it to yell Naruto but froze when she heard a squeak close to her ear and felt something jump into her hair. She was frozen for a while until the creature jumped off in front of her and landed in her line of sight.

Whilst it was a fairly small rat, to Kyouko it was the mother of all Dire-rats. It was an epic-level monster that had prestiged after beating down a dragon using only its tail. This was a Demon level threat.

She was frozen staring at this monster for a good few minutes until it leaned forward as if to bite her.

"NOPE!" Kyouko pulled her head out of the vent and conjured the largest fireball she had ever made and hurled it into the vent. "Nope, nope, nope!" She ran out of the small hut and started running her hands through her hair rapidly to try and scrape away any lingering rat presence until she heard a scream from the changing rooms. "Oh right… Naruto was in the vents…" She paused awkwardly. "I'd better go and make sure everything is alright.

* * *

"Man the dust in this place is tickling my nose," Naruto grumbled as he crawled to the end of the vent. The things he had found in his short journey were interesting to say the least. It seemed all sorts of things were stashed in the vents, including a strange collection of bottles full of what smelt like alcohol, which were directly above the girls changing rooms.

Shaking his head as he crawled past the bottles, he found the small vent grill that allowed the flow of air through the changing rooms. After a brief inspection he found that a small section of the vent cover had been cut out and judging by the degradation of the metal, it had been done recently. While not large enough for someone to fit through it was large enough for someone to balance their phone on top of and have an unrestricted image of the room on their camera. Using the camera on his phone, Naruto compared the images to those on the video. "This is definitely where the video was filmed… But all the clues point towards the Principal being involved somehow, although I doubt he could fit into this vent I'd best let Kyouko know." Naruto started to reverse down the vent, peering awkwardly over his shoulder.

"So this is a high school locker room!" An unfamiliar voice declared and Naruto froze, worried his movement would draw attention to him. "It's better than I was expecting!" Glancing down he saw Mikan and two of her friends entering the room. Frowning softly, he started to slowly move away.

"How so?" A voice Naruto recognised as Mikan's asked. "They look like pretty much what I was expecting to see Ayumi-chan."

"It's not what's here but what will be here! Can you imagine us in a few years here? We'll be getting dressed and complaining how our boobs are too big for out swimming outfits…" Ayumi sighed happily. "Can you imagine it?"

"Er... M-my brother s-says there is more t-to a woman's beauty that b-b-breasts," Another voice stuttered.

"Well I'm sorry to say your brother is a lolicon Mio. I'd keep track of all your panties! He probably sniffs them when you are out of the house!" Ayumi declared.

"A guy can like small chests without being a pervert though," Mikan mumbled.

"Only if they are on track for a life of perversion that ends with them being arrested for kidnapping cute little girls!"

"O-Onii-sama wouldn't…" Mio blushed crimson but went silent when she heard a thud in the vents. "D-did you h-h-hear t-t-that?"

"Hmm," Ayumi's eyes sparkled. "Maybe it's the ghost of the student who died here? What do you want? Are you going to try and possess us?"

Naruto rubbed his elbow that he had banged on the vent but remained silent.

"It was probably just the ventilation kicking in." Mikan, the voice of reason, suggested.

"R-r-right." Mio stuttered. "Because g-g-ghosts aren't r-r-real."

"Right," Mikan nodded.

"Meh," Ayumi sighed. "And you claim to have boyfriend. How'd you get one with so little romance in your soul?"

'_Wait… Mikan has a boyfriend?!' _Naruto's head shot up and hit the top of the vent, causing him to bite him lip to avoid crying out in pain. _'I didn't know that!' _

"R-r-really?" Mio sounded shocked. "I d-d-didn't know that. Who is-s-s he?"

"Oh you won't know him," Mikan replied defensively.

"Right," Ayumi chuckled. "Because he is from out of town or something right? Suspicious!" Ayumi sang.

"W-what do you mean?" Mikan frowned.

"Well it's obvious you don't actually have a boyfriend you were just saying that to stop the other boys asking you out. There's no need to lie to us. I know you don't have a boyfriend: all the boys we know are yucky." Ayumi pointed out. "Man I wish I knew why all the boys liked you… Maybe then I could bathe in the admiration of my harem!"

"Oh gods not this again," Mikan sighed.

"Hey! A girl can have a harem if she wants one!" Ayumi declared. "I'll need one boyfriend to take me shopping, another one to buy me food, one to take me on holiday, one who is into extreme sports so I can watch him play them…" Ayumi paused. "Last time I checked I needed at least 30 boyfriends!"

"Get realistic," Mikan remarked dryly. "Why not look for just one boyfriend who actually has a few of the traits you are looking for."

"You're telling me to get realistic miss fake boyfriend?"

"I do so have a boyfriend!" Mikan retorted.

"Oh yeah, well describe him to me."

"Well… He is older than me."

"So he is a lolicon as well?"

"I… No of course not! He is a very nice person and is waiting until I am of age before officially dating me."

"…It's not your brother is it?" Ayumi asked.

"C-c-can you d-d-date your brother?" Mio sounded genuinely interested.

"Of course not," Ayumi snorted. "Who'd want to? I mean my brother is always out trying to pick up chicks or quoting some manly sage or something. Today he said he had an urgent mission to attend to so he is probably with his little group of perverted friends, gawking at naughty magazines." She shivered. "I can't imagine viewing him as anything other than a primitive monkey. How such a vulgar boy could be related to a delicate flower such as myself…"

"Delicate?" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "This is the girl who one hit K.O'ed one of the bigger boys in class when he tried to get you to pass his love letter to me."

"I thought he was going to confess to me!" Ayumi threw her hands up in the air. "I had every right to be disappointed and react accordingly! Still back to your boyfriend."

"W-well," Mikan scowled. She had hoped that she could divert Ayumi's questioning as he friend has a very short attention span. Unfortunately, it appeared the self-proclaimed 'Delicate Flower' wasn't going to let up so easily. "He… He has beautiful eyes."

"What colour?"

"Well… They are blue," Mikan remarked.

"How'd you meet?" Ayumi asked.

"W-well I met him through my big brother."

'_She met her boyfriend through Rito? Then that probably means he is in my year. Someone in my year is dating Mikan?! The bastard is probably taking advantage of her good nature!' _Naruto narrowed his eyes angrily.

"And?"

"And what?" Mikan frowned at her friends.

"How did he ask you out?"

"Er…" Mikan looked a little panicked. "Well… He… I… I don't see why it is any of your business."

"Oh?" Ayumi chuckled as she got undressed. "I just want to check that my 'bestest' buddy isn't being messed around with." She glanced at Mio, "Your both my best friends don't worry."

"T-that's a r-r-relief," Mio smiled.

"He wouldn't do that," Mikan smiled sadly. "He… He is really kind and loving. I know no matter what he will protect me and… And I really love him."

"Man… That sounded pretty heartfelt," Ayumi sighed. "I guess you really do have a boyfriend after all."

"R-right," Mikan nodded.

"It was s-s-so beautiful!" Mio wiped a tear from her eyes.

"Geez get a grip Mio-chan," Ayumi sighed. "What are you doing?" She glanced at Mikan.

"I thought you stole your brother's pass so we could use the indoor swimming pool?" Mikan held a school swimsuit in her hands. "I was getting changed."

"Nope!" Ayumi grinned as she started rooting through her bag. "Ta-dah!"

"Is that…" Mikan blushed.

"That's right," Ayumi nodded eagerly. "This is a bikini! If we are swimming in high school, it only makes sense we dress for the part. It was hard finding ones that would fit us but…" Ayumi trailed off as she glanced at the naked Mio. "Mio-chan… What the hell?"

"Eh?"

"What are those!" Ayumi pointed at her chest where some small but quite clearly developing breast were on display. "W-why have you got boobs before me?! I drink tons of milk and massage them every day so why are yours growing first? It's not fair!" Ayumi scowled as she threw the bikini at Mio.

"Uwa~" Mio cried out as she tripped over whilst trying to run forward and catch the bikini. "T-t-that hurts~" She got up rubbing her breasts.

"No! No breast rubbing for you!" Ayumi declared. "Yours a big enough already! Stop that I say!"

'_I really, really shouldn't be listening to this.' _Naruto rubbed his forehead as he waited for the girls to finish getting changed and leave. _'But to think Mikan-chan has a boyfriend… I'd best check that this boyfriend of hers is a good person. But first I need to get out of this vent. It's getting a bit hot in here.' _Naruto peered over his shoulder and realised there was a strange light. _'Odd… It seems like… Oh crap!' _Naruto's eyes widened as he saw the fireball headed his way.

What happened next seemed to take an hour as far as Naruto was concerned.

First the fireball hit the strange collection of alcohol and caused an explosion, ripping the vent apart and deafening Naruto and what remained of the vents fell, resulting in Naruto tumbling out as it plummeted to the ground.

The girls, terrified by the explosion were even more alarmed by the sudden arrival of this strange male. He was so coated in dirt and grime that Mikan didn't recognise him. Whilst the girls were focused on Naruto, he was focused on the red hot vent support that had just fallen loose and was on course to impale Mikan. Stunned from the explosion he didn't have time to call upon his aura so he just dived and pushed her. Then he felt the pain of a sharpened, twisted, red-hot piece of metal piercing his stomach.

Then the girls screamed. It was all over in a matter of seconds but to Naruto it was the longest five seconds of his life.

"Naruto?!" Mikan recognised the wounded Naruto. "Oh no… This… I'll get an ambulance."

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked Mikan.

"Eh?"

"I said are you alright?"

"Y-yes…" Mikan nodded. "But your stomach…"

"And you two?" Naruto glanced at the two other girls.

"W-w-we're f-f-f-fine…" Mio stammered out.

"Good," Naruto grimaced as he grabbed the bar. "This… This is going to hurt. A lot." He pulled the beam from his stomach.

"Naruto!"

"GARGH!" Naruto bit the steel bar to stop himself biting through his tongue as he summoned a Tenshi and Akuma clone then got them to dispel together. The combined Damus and Arcangus energy from their dispersal formed into a corrosive purple aura that kicked his regeneration into overdrive, admittedly at the cost of great pain. After the purple aura died away he spat out the steel bar, revealing he had nearly bitten through the bar. "That… That never gets easier. Stupid selective Berserker trance," He groaned as he rubbed his healed stomach. "I thought it was supposed to numb me from pain when I am badly injured!"

'_**It does when you think you are too badly injured to fight. You were not in a combat situation so your brain didn't feel the need to trigger the trance.' **_Asmodea remarked matter-of-factly.

"You… You are alright?" Mikan checked the area where he had been impaled.

"Yeah," Naruto laughed weakly. "That ability of mine can regenerate limbs. Hurts like hell but still…"

"You saved me," Mikan sobbed as she hugged him.

"There, there," Naruto smiled. "Are you girls sure you are okay?"

"Amazing…" Ayumi walked up to him. "Those brilliant blue eyes… Those golden locks… Being able to regenerate from life threatening injuries that you got from selflessly throwing yourself between an innocent maiden and certain death… Are you… Are you a hero?!"

"Er… I try to be," Naruto laughed.

"That is so cool!" Ayumi gasped. If there was one advantage of her short term attention span, it was that she didn't stay horrified or shocked for long.

"Thanks?" Naruto laughed weakly.

"Are you… Are you single?" She asked hopefully.

"Eh?" Naruto went bright red. "I… That is to say no."

"No?" Ayumi's shoulders slumped. "But… Such an Adonis… would have made the excellent starting point for my harem!"

"…Eh?" Naruto blinked. "I think you might be in shock or something."

"Nope that's normal for her," Mikan rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"I'm not going to ask why you are here but," Naruto paused. "Maybe you guys should head home."

"Y-yeah," Mikan nodded.

"Do you girls want me to walk you home?"

"N-No," Mikan smiled. "We'll… We'll just get changed then go home."

"Right," Naruto nodded. "Oh and I don't know if it's appropriate to say this but… I think you look cute in that bikini."

"R-really?" Mikan blushed as Naruto left the changing rooms, brushing the soot from his clothes.

"Oh hoh ho!" Ayumi's eyes sparkled.

"W-what?" Mikan blinked.

"I see how it is. Blue eyes… will protect you no matter what…"

"I… I don't know what you are talking about," Mikan quickly got changed.

"Hey Mikan."

"Yes?"

"Good luck!" Ayumi gave her a thumbs up.

"Eh?"

"In winning Naruto-san's heart!"

"I-idiot," Mikan muttered as she headed to the door. "But thanks."

"But d-d-doesn't M-Mikan-chan have a b-boyfriend?" Mio frowned.

"You really are too cute Mio-chan!" Ayumi laughed at her friends confused expression.

While Mikan was making her way home, Naruto walked up to a sheepish looking Kyouko and started to lead the way out of the school grounds.

"Smooth there Lolicon," Kyouko remarked as he left the building. "Hitting on Rito's sister?"

"I wasn't hitting on her," Naruto narrowed his eyes. "And what was the big idea throwing a fireball down the vent?"

"I… I saw a rat and panicked." She bowed her head. "I'm sorry."

"Well…" Naruto sighed. "Whatever. At least we know two things."

"And they are?"

"The Principal couldn't have fit into that air vent. Hell I could barely squeeze through some parts of it."

"And the second thing?"

"That the video was definitely taken from that air vent. Someone had cut a hole in the ventilation that allowed you to rest your phone and film the room with the exact same angle as the video online." Naruto scowled. "So whoever took it needed access to the principal's key."

"Could the principal have paid someone to film the video?"

"One way to find out," Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Let's ask him."

* * *

Mikado supped her tea and let out a content smile. Currently she was sat on a coach in what was currently the main living room of the house. After yet another remodelling by Lala, the room had plenty of coaches in and a large television on one wall.

Whilst she loved the others, she still enjoyed the odd moment to lie back and relax. She glanced at the tablet in her lap and picked it up, flicking through the files for the inhabitants of the house.

Naruto's charts were never the same. Every time she scanned him, something had changed. She was originally worried but after much analysis realised it was some sort of mutation taking place. He wasn't dying, it was just that his entire genetic code was being re-written constantly. Of course the most worrying change was that his seal was set to 50% and he had started showing more obvious signs that he was a berserker class devilukian. He had grown a tail and he was emitting pheromones like crazy. Fortunately, the vast majority of the girls were immune to his pheromones and of the three that weren't, Lala was pregnant so for the time being she would be unresponsive to them and Nana seemed to be completely unaffected by them. Momo was the only victim but Momo confided in her that she was taking special supplements ever since Lala got pregnant to help bolster her resistance to such things. Mikado hoped they were working for the girl.

Looking at how much Naruto had changed in the relatively short time since she started these test, she almost felt a little better that after she first met Naruto when he joined the school, she didn't immediately recognise him. The Naruto she had first met was just a boy who hated being viewed as a delinquent and wanted to be seen as the hero. Now… Well Mikado certainly viewed him as a hero. She chuckled as she recalled the preserved hand she had in her lab, the hand Naruto had lost saving her. It was a constant reminded that she was valued and after so long by herself it was nice to feel important.

Swiping idly along she came to Lala. The Crown Princess of the Devilukian empire was physically speaking, the perfect specimen of health. Unlike humans who have a set gestation period, Devilukians could control their pregnancy. At the moment Lala had just started Stage two of Four. Stage one was wear there were no ill effects and if you didn't know, you wouldn't be able to tell she was pregnant. Stage two was when the first signs would start to show. She would start developing a baby bump and suffering from mild sickness periodically. That gave Mikado time to build the bomb shelter she would need when Lala reached stage 3.

Then there were the twins. Momo was physically in brilliant shape. There were slight hormonal imbalances as the seal sought to limit her Berserker nature but everything else was looking good. Admittedly Mikado was considering putting a request in to Fu to strengthen the seal as it did appear to be waning slightly ever since the whole Kabuto incident.

Nana was a medical mystery. Her body seemed to have just stopped aging and Mikado could find no clues as to why. She was capable of having children, although with her smaller frame giving birth would be incredibly painful. Beyond her mysterious immunity to aging, Nana was just your average Higher Tier or Lord Class Devilukian.

The rest of the girls were all fine. Yui was a completely healthy teenage girl. No issues that worried Mikado there. Risa was also perfectly healthy with no areas of concern. Kushina was a more interesting case. She had alien DNA mixed in with human DNA and after much effort, Mikado had determined that is was Charmian in nature. Her body had traces of a strange energy, similar to the Arcangus aura of Naruto but completely unfocused. It was a little side project she had going to try and help Kushina focus that power. So far results were not very encouraging but Mikado had faith and Kushina wanted to be able to do more than just spread her legs for Naruto.

Mikado was shaken from her idle musing when the door was opened and the girls who had been shopping entered.

"Well you all look exhausted." Mikado raised an eyebrow as the girls started to gather in the room.

"I had so much fun!" Lala declared.

"How come everyone else is carrying shopping?" Mikado asked, "Yet you aren't?"

"Because I'm carrying hers and mine," Risa groaned as she stumbled into the main room. "It was the only way she'd let me get a dress of my own."

"Oh?" Mikado blinked. "How did you afford these dresses?"

"Saki-chan bought them for us!" Lala beamed.

"I see," Mikado sighed. "Starting to wish I had gone with you now."

"Is Naruto not back?" Lala looked around.

"Not yet," Mikado smiled.

"Then I'm headed to the lab!" Lala beamed. "I have some projects that I need to work on!"

"Oh?" Mikado looked interested. "Anything I can help with?"

"Actually… There is one thing." Lala tilted her head. "Do you know where I can get medical records?"

"How long ago do you need them from?" Mikado asked.

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "About seventeen years' worth?"

"I am curious why you want that." Mikado chuckled.

"It's for a present!" Lala beamed. "Oh I'll need your help with that as well."

"Well I haven't gotten much else to do."

"Where is Kushina-chan?" Lala asked.

"Laid face down on the kitchen floor. She fell asleep on the sun bed so has sun burn. I rubbed some cream into her back but she hasn't moved since then, stating that the cold floor feels so nice."

"It's almost as good as Naruto bending me over and…" Kushina yelled from the kitchen.

"I don't want to hear this!" Yui covered her ears and started humming.

"Yui-chan is so innocent right Momo-chan?" Lala glanced at her sister.

'_Naruto's scent… It's making me dizzy…' _

"Momo?"

"Eh?" Momo snapped out of her trance. "Er… Yes, sure." She coughed awkwardly. "I'm… I'm going to get a shower." She made her way into the shower in Naruto's room. _'Damn it… Why is it so bad today?' _She felt the cold water run down her body but it failed to soothe the burning in her loins. _'Damn…' _She gasped as she touched herself. _'Maybe I should have told Mama to send me more of the suppressants… Oh well…' _Momo allowed her mind to fill with images of Naruto as she saw to clear her lust in the shower. _'Soon… Soon I will be bound to Naruto and these… these overwhelming urges will be controlled.' _She smiled softly at the thought of her and Naruto bound together. _'Hehe… What fun we will have." _

* * *

"Well I'm not the best detective but I suspect something is going on here," Naruto narrowed his eyes as he saw a massive police presence at the park where he had last seen the principal.

"Let's investigate!" Kyouko advanced on the police. "Hey what's happening?"

"Oh I know you!" One of the officers, a male looking roughly 30 years old smiled at them. "You are magical girl Kyouko right?"

"Oh are you a fan?" Kyouko blinked.

"My daughter loves your show. Could… Could I get an autograph?"

"Of course," Kyouko pulled a pen from her pocket, "Who do you want it signed to?"

"Er… Kei," The officer coughed as he offered her a notepad.

"Right!" Kyouko wrote a quick message and signed it. "There you go."

"Thanks," The officer smiled. "Though you might want to stay clear of here. Apparently a pervert is hiding in this area."

"Really?" Naruto blinked as he saw the officers leading the principal towards a squad car. "One moment!" Naruto raced towards him.

"Naruto-dono?" The principal glanced at him.

"Wait a minute!" Naruto cried out. "He's innocent! Well at least innocent of this crime."

"Really?" A short police woman glared at him. She was completely flat and Naruto had the strange feeling he had seen her before. "Hmm… You look familiar to me. Have I arrested you before?" She took in his bloody shirt and filthy appearance. "Are you alright?"

"Oh this?" Naruto laughed weakly. "I er…"

"He was helping me film a scene," Kyouko interrupted.

"Oh…" The police woman recognised Kyouko. "You're that magical girl right?"

"That's right!" Kyouko posed.

"Well," The woman shook her head. "It's not important. You said that he was innocent?"

"Yes."

"Can you prove it?"

"Yes," Naruto nodded. "I have visited the air vent where the video was taken from and there is no way that he could have fit inside it."

"…Why were you climbing in an air vent overlooking the girl's changing rooms…" The police woman narrowed her eyes.

"To search for clues to prove that he was innocent."

"Why? Everyone knows that he is a bit of a pervert. He finally went too far and gave us the excuse we needed to arrest him."

"Trust me, I would usually have no objections to this but I can't let him be arrested for a crime he didn't commit. That's not how justice works."

"True," The policewoman looked impressed. "But I'm afraid that isn't quite enough to get him off. It is possible that he used a drone to fly in the vents or something along those lines."

"I… I found this in the vents," Naruto searched through his pockets and produced the strip of cloth.

"That's not much…" The Policewoman frowned, "Although it does have blood on so we can run a DNA test but there is no guarantee it came from the person responsible."

"That… Well…" Naruto frowned.

"Well, well, well," A chiding voice sounded from behind Naruto and he turned to see a tall woman with long hair so blonde it was almost white and an impressive bust walking towards them. She was wearing sun glasses and wearing a white shirt with a black tie as well as black trousers.

"School councillor Hardings," The police woman nodded. "This scene is a crime scene so if you wouldn't mind leaving…"

"So you have finally been caught," Hardings smirked as she looked at the principal. "Of course this means we will need a new principal and I will of course put my name into the hat."

"You can't," The principal shook his head. "Sainan High is a mixed school were students enjoy their youths! You would ruin all that!"

"I would make it into a true school for ladies," Hardings removed her glasses to reveal two piercing green eyes.

"You would make it into a prison," The Principal sounded uncharacteristically serious. "And what of the boys?"

"What of them? No doubt under your influence they have become little more than a band of perverts. They will be little use for anything intellectual."

"Okay… I'm going to have to cut in here," Naruto scowled at Hardings.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Hardings scoffed. "Sainan High's number one trouble student."

"I don't start the fights, they find me," Naruto defended himself.

"And the rumours of your harem?"

"I don't have a harem." Naruto crossed his arms.

"A harem?" The police officer scowled. "How shameless!"

"That's who you are!" A light bulb went off in Naruto's head. "You're Sasami Kotegawa! Yui-chan's mother!"

"You shouldn't speak about my daughter so informally!" Sasami remarked. "Such familiarity could lead to rumours!"

"Not that this isn't interesting," Harding put her glasses back on. "But shouldn't you be arresting this man."

"Sorry," Naruto glanced at the Principal. "I tried but… I guess I'm not a good detective."

"This is not your fault Uzumaki-kun," The principle smiled. "Sarah-chan here always had it out for me."

"That is Principal Hardings to you." She smirked and crossed her arms, flinching when she caught a spot on her arm.

"Hey…" Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You look like you'd fit into that air vent."

"What?" Harding blinked. "Why would I go climbing in an air vent?"

"So you could frame the principal!"

"If you are just throwing around baseless accusations I'd advise you to shut your mouth. My phone doesn't have that watermark on it. This pervert on the other hand has the right brand of phone!"

"…How'd you know about that?" Naruto asked.

"I saw the video! It was brought to my attention by a parent and I felt it was my duty to inform the police."

"So you knew that the dolphin watermark was a feature of his phone. Tell me… Did you know that it can only film 2-minute video?"

"So what?"

"The video online was ten minutes. Whoever took that video knew that the principal's phone had the dolphin watermark but not the limitations of his video recording capabilities."

"Are you suggesting I attempted to frame him? Where is your evidence?"

"That depends… Take your shirt off."

"W-what?!" Hardings blinked in shock.

"How shameless!"

"If I'm right," Naruto pointed at Harding's arm, "Then you'll have a wound on that arm!"

"So what if I do?" Harding scowled. "That's no proof that I did it!"

"But if your DNA matches the DNA from this," He held up the strip of cloth. "Then you are clearly the one who took that video!"

"Hah," Hardings snorted. "What makes you say that?"

"You hurt your arm on the nail in the vents, same as me." Naruto grinned. "When you were in the vents taking that video to frame the principal!"

"I… That…" She turned to Sasami. "You aren't listening to this are you?"

"It is the duty of a police officer to treat all accusations seriously." Sasami crossed her arms.

"I…No… I…" Harding staggered backwards. "I… I WAS SO CLOSE! I WOULD HAVE FINALLY HAD MY PERFECT GIRL'S PARADISE! Imagine it!" She grabbed Naruto. "So many young, nubile girls…" A trickle of blood ran down her nose. "Away from you… you… perverted brutes!" She shook Naruto.

"Sarah Harding you are under arrest." Sasami released the principal and put Harding in handcuffs. "You," She glared at the principal, "Are under house arrest and you," She glared at Naruto before smiling. "You do realise you were incredibly lucky. Real detective work takes a lot more than pure luck. If she hadn't had confessed, we wouldn't have had enough to go on."

"I figured," Naruto nodded. "But being lucky is kind of what I do." He watched the police drive off.

"Naruto-dono!" The Principal cried tears of joy. "The whole school shall know of your actions this day!"

"No…" Naruto paled. "They won't." _'Like hell I want everyone knowing I'm the reason that the pervert is still our principal…'_

"Ah, as Naruto-dono wishes." The Principal nodded sagely as he was escorted away.

"Well that was fun," Kyouko laughed. "We actually solved a crime!"

"Not really," Naruto admitted. "I was just trying to stall for time until I thought of a way of proving she was guilty. Nice of her to give herself up before I had thought of something though."

Kyouko gave a snort of laughter but stopped when her phone rang, "Hello? Is that so? Man…" She hung up the phone. "That's my manager. I'm needed on set. Apparently the male lead was in an accident and I have to attend a meeting to decide the fate of this film. I'll nip around yours later okay?"

"Ah right, I'll see you later then."

"You know it!" Kyouko high-fived him before heading off.

"Guess I'll head back home," Naruto looked around and the police. "I desperately need a shower," He groaned as he looked at the filthy state of his clothes.

* * *

Rito glared at the picture in front of him. It showed what he thought was his friend. What he thought would help him win Haruna's love. But then he was betrayed. He felt a deep burning rage the likes of which he had never know.

"But I will have my vengeance… In this life or the next." Rito growled as he lifted the metal bat and started to swing like a madman. "I WILL HAVE MY VENGENCE!"

"Hey big brother are you getting a bath or…" Mikan paused as she opened the door. "Er… I'll… Just leave you to it…" She shut the door and hurried away.

"Now… You have turned my sister against me as well," Rito gripped the metal pole so tightly that he drew blood. "I will see you burn in hell for your crimes against me! Damn you IKEA exercise cycle! Why can't I build you?!"

* * *

"I'm home," Naruto entered the house to see most of the girls sleeping. "Heh, had a hard day then?"

"It was a little tiring," Yui nodded. "Lala-san is in the laboratory if you wish to see her."

"I'll leave her to whatever she is planning," Naruto stretched out. "But first I need to get a shower. I'm filthy."

"Why?"

"I was crawling through an air vent today." Naruto remarked.

"…Why?"

"For justice," Naruto remarked evasively and Yui decided not to press. "I met your mother today."

"Oh… You… Did you tell her we are dating?"

"No, I figured she didn't know when she got annoyed that I called you Yui-chan. I have to admit I'm kind of surprised that you haven't told her. You… you're not embarrassed of me are you?"

"No of course not. It's not that I don't love you!" Yui quickly got up and walked to him. "I've told my father and big brother but we all agreed that my mother… was probably not quite ready to learn I had a boyfriend. She is liable to carry out a police investigation into you."

"Ah…" Naruto laughed weakly. "In that case whenever you decide to tell her is fine. I'm going to get that shower now."

"Right," Yui paused before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Yui?"

"I love you," She mumbled, face crimson.

"I love you too," He kissed her back and hugged her. The two stayed there for several moments until Yui started shaking. "Yui-chan?"

"T-tail…" She gasped erotically as his tail started to rub her over the top of her panties.

"Not again!" Naruto stepped backwards and found that once again his tail had decided to tease Yui. She was unable to look him in the eye. "I… I can't control the damn thing."

"That's because you are a perverted beast!" Nana declared. "It's a miracle that you haven't started ravishing the whole town!"

"I'm not that bad," Naruto shook his head. "Er.. Yui… I…"

"It's okay…" Yui blushed. "It… It isn't entirely unpleasant."

"I'm going to get a shower. I need one anyway and maybe it will cool down my libido."

"W-wait!" Yui put a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" Naruto looked at her.

"It… I… It's nothing…" Yui's shoulder's slumped. _'I can't say it… That I wanted him to… well… continue…' _She blushed and stared at the floor. "I was just going to ask for you to escort me home after your shower. If you don't mind."

"You could stay here," Nana offered. "Damus alone know that I need help making sure this perverted beast stays on the straight and narrow!"

"I… It would be better for me to go home. I thank you for the offer but it wouldn't be right for me to live with Naruto until we are married."

"If you are sure," He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "You know we would all love to have you stay here. I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind."

"That's… Thank you." She kissed Naruto softly. "But… I… I don't think I'm ready." _'If I stay I would end up doing… things with you and I… I am scared I will become a shameless woman if that happens…' _She watched Naruto head to his room with a sigh.

He stepped into his room and cast aside his clothes. Glancing at the bloodstained shirt. "I suppose I should be grateful that the police didn't arrest me for looking like I was a murderer." Whistling happily, he made his way towards the shower but paused as he heard some soft moaning.

"What the hell?" Naruto slowly opened the door and blinked as he saw Momo's outline writhing in the shower through the misty glass.

"N-Naruto…" She moaned softly.

"Momo?"

"Naruto?!" Momo froze. "Er... This… Oh who am I kidding? This is exactly what it looks like." She had a heavy blush and an unfocused gaze. One of Naruto's dirty shirts was clenched in one hand and held to her nose whilst she held a pair of his underwear to her crotch.

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "Er… I guess I'll leave you to it…" Naruto started to leave only for to be stopped when Momo put an arm out in front of him with such force that she cracked the wall.

"Oh no," Momo tossed his clothes to one side. "You don't get to leave."

"Momo?" He noticed her eyes were slightly red and catlike. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" Momo pushed Naruto against the wall and forcefully kissed him. "You have no idea of the torture you have been putting me through since you got yourself unsealed do you?!"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since you got unsealed you've been leaving your pheromones everywhere…" Momo growled softly into his ear, pressing her naked and wet body against his body. "It's been driving me quite mad. Having you so close yet not being able to touch you…"

"Really?" Naruto blinked. "I didn't know."

"I have been taking medication that suppressed my urges but that ran out. I… I deliberately let it run out because… Because I figured…" Momo started to grind against Naruto. "This way… I might be able… to finally get what I want…" She started to kiss him on the neck.

"You know you didn't have to go that far right?" Naruto smiled. "I only said that i wanted you to tell me why you wanted to have sex with me because I wanted to be a 100% sure about your feelings for me, that they weren't just controlled by lust."

"… You said you didn't want to have sex with me until I answered your question." Momo nibbled on his ear. "And didn't mean it?"

"I never said I didn't want to," Naruto wrapped his arms around Momo and held her tightly against him.

"No!" Momo pushed him away shaking her head.

"Momo?"

"I can't…" Momo bit her lip. "If we go any further I'll… I want be able to stop myself binding to you."

"I don't understand?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were willing to have sex with me _before _you got that tail!" She fidgeted awkwardly. "I can't… I can't bind with you before Lala. I can't do that to her!"

"You really love your sister huh?" Naruto smiled.

"I do… I saw her before she ever met you. She was always so sad." Momo whispered. "Despite our best efforts Nana and I could never clear the dead look in her eyes. Then one day… she changed. She became full of life. She became the big sister Nana and I had always wanted." She chewed her bottom lip. "She changed because of you. You became her focus, her one hope of a life of love and happiness. She _obsessed _about you. She had everything worked out. Hell I even suspect that she had plans for me and my twin to fall in love with you. She wanted a perfect life for her and you."

"I knew she loved me but I didn't realise how much," Naruto blinked.

"When Risa married you… That was the first hiccup. I was terrified that Onee-sama would go back to that blank eyed, soulless automaton she used to be or do something she might regret to protect her interests but Lala was able to rationalise it away. It wasn't a real wedding so it didn't interfere with her plans. But me stealing her chance to be the first to bind with you…" Momo shook her head. "There would be no rationalising that away."

"So you'll suffer for your sister's sake?"

"I owe her that much," Momo remarked simply. "So please… I'll just deal with my urges."

"So all we have to do is make sure that our tails don't touch right?" Naruto pointed out.

"Well yes but that would be impossible during sex."

"What if we didn't go all the way?" Naruto asked. "What if I just helped you relieve yourself." He closed the gap and nibbled on her ear.

"I…" Momo gasped as Naruto's hands travelled down her body. "I'd like that… Just promise me… Promise me the instant you bind with Onee-sama you find me and bind with me."

"I promise," Naruto kissed Momo deeply, feeling her relax in his arms as if she was melting into his arms.

* * *

**Warning Things get adult below here! You have been warned!**

**Seriously. If you don't want to read a lemon etc. then stop reading. Here's nothing much happens. Naruto helps Momo relieve some stress and Yui happens to see it. **

**Still here? Okay then. Here we go! **

* * *

"Naruto…" Momo gasped as he guided her back into the shower, the water running down their bodies. "I…"

"Shh…" Naruto put a finger on her lips before trailing it down her body to her breasts. "You don't need to say anything. Just relax."

"Okay…" Momo gasped as he gently teased her nipple whilst his free hand slowly worked its way down Momo's back, sending shivers throughout her body as he slowly, almost teasingly made his was to her maiden's head. "Ah~" She moaned erotically as Naruto nibbled softly on her neck and held her close to him.

"Your voice," Naruto whispered huskily, "It is so erotic."

"Now you know how I feel every time I hear you speak," Momo mumbled before shuddering as he stroked her tail. "Gah!" Her knees buckled as the wave of bliss struck her. She panted heavily as her legs started to buckle.

"For someone who always seems so erotically charged, it is incredibly easy to make you climax isn't it?"

"S-shut up," Momo gasped. "I am a virgin you know."

"I know," Naruto ran a finger along her tail whilst he started to suckle on her breasts.

"Ah!" Momo groaned. "That… My tail…"

"You really do have an amazing figure," Naruto kissed her deeply, her tongue submitting to his quickly as he explored her mouth, rewarded with a series of erotic moans for his efforts. Whilst his left hand continued to toy with her tail, his right made its way down to her womanhood, idly tracing her lower lips. "Is it the shower or are you really that wet?"

"Both," Momo panted. "This… I…" She stroked Naruto's cheek. "This is so much better than my own fingers… and you haven't even penetrated me yet…"

"Oh? Is Momo a naughty girl who plays with herself?"

"I've been very naughty," Momo shivered as Naruto parted her lower lips with his fingers.

"Have you now?" Naruto tutted. "Well I can't be having that can I? What should I do to such a naughty, naughty girl?" He grasped her tail firmly and started to stroke it.

"Punish me?" Momo's back arched as another wave of pleasure tore through her body, leaving her floating on ecstasy.

"Maybe I might," Naruto growled as he finally slipped two fingers into Momo whilst his thumb idly flicked her clitoris, resulting in a strange, feral groan from Momo.

"Your scent… It will be all over my body…" Momo growled as she looked at Naruto with red, slitted eyes. "I… I'll go crazy…"

"Then I'll just have to help you deal with your… needs." He punctuated needs by starting to explore Momo's secret place with his two fingers. Her excitement was already coating his fingers and he felt almost like he was drunk. Everything was hazy and her scent was filling his nose. He felt the urge to stop with the foreplay and simply bend her over and fill her with his seed. The urge was growing but he kept it in check as the two kissed deeply and Naruto increased his pace with both hands, stroking her tail and slipping in her lower lips with increasing speed.

The obscene wet noises coming from Momo along with her gasps and moans were like music to his ears. As he kissed her, he felt the vibrations from her muffled cries of ecstasy and they spurred him on to deepen his exploration with his fingers, resulting in even more erotic noises.

All of a sudden her inner walls clamped on his fingers and her entire body jolted. Her eyes rolled up and her tongue lolled out as a mind shattering orgasm hit her.

"Nya~" Momo let out an ecstatic squeal as Naruto pulled out his fingers and tasted the fruits of his labour.

"Sweeter than I was expecting," Naruto glanced at the heavily panting Momo.

"Naruto~" Momo slurred. "I love you~"

"I love you too."

"Never leave me… Promise?"

"Promise," Naruto kissed her softly on the forehead as she relaxed in his arms. "For someone so obsessed with sex I'm kind of surprised you were so easy to satisfy."

"I… I am a virgin remember…" Momo panted. "If… If that felt that good…" She grabbed Naruto's erect member. "I can't wait for the main course…"

"Heh," Naruto smiled as she started to stoke his member but frowned when she stopped. "Momo?"

"I could help you out," Momo smiled seductively. "But I won't. Not until you tell me why you want me to."

"Are you… Are you holding a grudge?"

"Maybe," Momo smiled and hugged him from behind, her tail wrapping itself around his shaft and slowly stimulating him. "Does this feel good?"

"Yes… I… I'm close… This feels too good!"

"I've spent plenty of time analysing your sexual exploits and making a mental map of all your weak spots." Momo smiled as licked him on the back of his neck before biting him gently. She knew it was her berserker side influencing her but she didn't care. She wanted Naruto to bear marks that told everyone that they had a physical relationship.

"Gargh," Naruto shivered. "I… Momo…" His tail started to tease her lower lips.

"'Ruto~" Momo gasped and increased the pace of her tail's ministrations, smirking as she saw the precum on the tip of Naruto's legendary weapon. "Mm…" She made a throaty noise of approval. "You scent is filling my head…"

"Momo," Naruto broke free from her grasp and laid her down on the bed.

"W-what are you looking at?" Momo covered her lower region as Naruto bent down.

"I want to see all your beauty," He whispered lustfully as he gently pried her hands from her maiden's garden and teased her entrance with his tongue.

"Don't!" Momo squeaked. "It's… I didn't finish showering. It's dirty… and not the good kind."

"Is this…" Naruto growled. "How it feels to be you? Your scent… I can't think straight." Naruto continued his assault on her core and was rewarded by squeals of pleasure from Momo.

"So long I've waited to feel like this!" Momo body arced as she climaxed again. "Nya~"

"You sound so erotic…" Naruto stood up before the panting Momo, his weapon at full mast. "Look what you are doing to me…"

"Let me take care of that…" Momo rolled over and sat before him, eagerly licking her lips and using her breasts to rub his twitching length and taking his tip into her mouth, looking up at Naruto with seductive eyes.

"Momo…" He grunted as she used her tongue to clean the precum from his dick before slowly pulled her head back and forwards, her teeth gently scraping across his skin. "Stop teasing…" He grabbed the back of her head and started to thrust his hips, earning a delighted groan from Momo. "Ah sorry… I…" Naruto pulled out aware of his aggressive behaviour.

"Don't you dare stop," Momo growled. "You are a berserker, make my body realise you are its master!"

"If that's what you want." Naruto grabbed her head and thrust himself in her mouth as she used her to pleasure herself.

'_That's right… Make me yours… Dominate me completely~' _Momo thought to herself as Naruto picked up his pace. The obscene sucking noises played their obscene melody and Naruto repositioned themselves so that he was laid down with her on top in a 69 position. _'Great Damus… He's hitting the back of my throat~' _She started to finger herself, a move that was caught by Naruto who pulled her hand away and attacked her with her tongue, whilst his other hand teased her tail.

"Mmm!" Momo's mouth was too full of Naruto to form proper words and she doubted she had the mental power available to form words anyway as the assault of pleasure from her tail and Naruto's attack on her clitoris and inner walls drove her to the limit of her self-control. _'I'm… I'm coming~!' _Momo's eyes rolled up as she finished with an explosive orgasm and Naruto released his seed in her mouth, her desperately gulping down as much as she could, its strange taste was divine to her and she would not waste a single drop.

After a few minutes twitching together the two separated.

"Naa~" Momo slurred.

"I… Wow…" Naruto blinked. It was as if a red mist had been cleared from his mind. "I… Er…"

"Damus be praised…" Momo unsteadily got to her feet and towards the shower.

"Did that… help?"

"You bet it did," Momo wiped the sperm that she hadn't managed to swallow from her face and licked her fingers clean. "Now I know if the urges get too much~"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "I'll help you out."

"Good," She kissed him on the cheek. "Now I _really _need a shower." She sniffed. "Hmm… That's a smell I could get used to. Our scents all intertwined." She took another deep breath. "Heh… Funny that your scent was driving me crazy but right now… It makes me feel more… In control."

"I could do with a shower too," Naruto nibbled on her ear.

"Oh?" Momo smirked. "Someone is a little eager no?"

"So about that shower…"

"Here," Momo clicked her fingers and a small robot appeared from a compartment on the wall and hit him with a powerful jet of water.

"Eh?!"

"I told you," Momo smirked. "Until you are bound to Onee-sama that's the limit of your physical interactions with me."

"…Right…" Naruto scowled as the robot blasted him with hot air.

"Trust me… I want to go all the way with you as much as you want to."

"You're doing this because I said I wouldn't have sex with you until you figured out why I wanted to." Naruto deadpanned.

"Maybe~" Momo stuck her tongue out before getting in the shower and locking the door.

"…I'd best clean up the room." Naruto mumbled as he started to tidy the room, oblivious to the door closing slightly.

Yui turned around and leaned against the door. She's seen everything. It was so shameless!

She paused and looked at the door before walking away.

But didn't Momo say that she felt more in control of herself? If that was the case was her own fears that she would become a lewd woman misplaced? After all, hadn't she just watched… _that_. She blushed at the memory. She didn't feel any lewder. Momo seemed perfectly happy and Naruto wasn't some perverted beast, although he did seem a bit aggressive at times, Momo seemed to enjoy that. Maybe making love to Naruto wouldn't be shameless.

"Maybe it will stop me touching myself on a night…" Yui whispered to herself as she got ready to go home. She had a feeling tonight was going to be particularly bad.


	27. Chapter 27 Serpents and Snakes

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: A little late this time but I couldn't get the ending right. I hope you guys and gals enjoy it.

Also there are two Lemons at the end of the chapter in separate Omake segments. While the events in them are canon for this story, you won't miss much by skipping them.

As some of you may have noticed, A few days ago Through His Eyes was removed from my account. I am currently trying to find out what happened to it.

Disclaimer: Obvious disclaimer is obvious

* * *

Chapter 27: Snakes and Serpents

Rito was a firm believer that a day should only have one five o'clock. It should be in the evening as a sign that the day is starting to wind to an end. The other five o'clock was something you heard of but never actually witnessed, like a Big Foot sighting. It was a strange foreign idea that had no place in Rito's world, at least until he had asked Naruto if he could join him on his morning jog.

"Everything aches," Rito panted as he glanced at his watch which told him that it was 5:45. "Why did I agree to this?" He groaned as he forced his weary body forward, wishing he had the energy to glare at Naruto's back as the mildly amused blonde jogged briskly with no sign of slowing. They had been running around the neighbourhood for half an hour now as Naruto held to the belief that an early morning jog was a good way to start the day. Rito was pretty sure that Naruto was a closet masochist, after all he put himself through this and was regularly fighting super powered aliens and taking a few hits.

"You okay back there?" Naruto seemed to notice Rito's condition and stopped.

"O…kay…" Rito panted as he bent over wheezing.

"Sorry," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "I completely forgot that you aren't used to this sort of routine."

"No… worries…" Rito desperately sucked in as much air as he could. Whilst his body was hurting in ways he didn't even know was possible, he had to admit that the town had a peaceful calm about it at this early hour as the sun started to rise.

"So…" Naruto leaned against a wall and watched Rito, "Is there any reason you asked to join me?"

"Fitness…" Rito panted.

"Well… I guess I can see that you do need help there," Naruto chuckled, "But what made you suddenly start worrying about your fitness?"

"…" Rito couldn't look Naruto in the eyes. _'How can I say that I am trying to win Haruna from you… Especially seeing as she confessed to you and there is no way that you turned her down.' _

"Well whatever the reason," Naruto cleaned out an ear awkwardly. "I'm sure it is a good one. To be fair to you, you have kept up with me and I wasn't exactly taking it easy."

"Thanks," Rito managed to stand up straight, ignoring the burning of his abused muscles. "Can I ask… you something?" He forced out between gulps of air.

"Sure."

"Why this early?" Rito calmed his breathing as he no longer felt like he was going to be sick.

"Well I like a brisk morning jog and this early you don't have to worry too much about running into someone so I figured it would minimalise the chances of you somehow getting in an ecchi accident."

"Ah… Thanks," Rito smiled briefly before looking fire up as he clenched his fists. "I'm ready to go on!"

"Seriously?" Naruto took in Rito's pale appearance. "The only thing you look read to do is pass out."

"I'm fine!" Rito took off jogging down the road, much to his own body's dismay.

"Well…" Naruto watched him go. "I wonder what's gotten into him?"

'_Fight through the pain…' _Rito thought to himself as he ran. _'I can be strong… I can become the kind of person Haruna likes!' _His vision started to go blurry. _'Push through the pain barrier!' _Rito thought. _'I wonder… Do those phrases actually help people exercise because they are doing nothing for me.'_

So lost in his thoughts he failed to see the girl running on the pavement until it was too late. He tried to stop suddenly but his tired legs simply gave in causing him to stumble forward with a cry of surprise. He instinctively reached out to grab something to stop his fall. Unfortunately for him, the something he grabbed was the other jogger, more accurately her trousers and panties and rather than stop his fall, they joined him on his drop to the ground. The last thing he heard before passing out from over exertion was a high pitched scream and a ringing noise in his ears as the screamer kicked out at him.

"Oh crap," Akiho Sarenji looked at the unconscious form of Rito and quickly pulled her panties and trousers back up. "Isn't that Haruna-chan's friend?"

"Hey there!" Naruto jogged up to her with a grin. "How are you today Sarenji-san?"

"I told you to call me Akiho," She elbowed him playfully. "Say… Have you talked to Haruna recently?"

"Er… I guess," Naruto frowned. "Why?"

"She's been a little down lately," Akiho crossed her arms angrily. "When I find out who is responsible…" She started miming strangling someone. "I'll make sure they pay."

"Er…" Naruto tried to ignore the pang of guilt that shot through him, "I am sure she'll be fine."

"You sure you can't come over and talk to her?" Akiho finished her mime and turned to Naruto. "She always cheers up after a quick talk from you."

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Naruto laughed weakly. "I… I think I may be the reason she is upset."

"What?!" Akiho blinked. "But… You and Haruna were like two peas in a pod! What could you have done that upset her that much?!"

"I kind of… turned her down." Naruto hadn't even realised that Akiho had moved until he heard the sound of her slapping him.

"Seriously," Akiho glared at him whilst shaking the hand she had slapped him with. "Didn't you confess to her?!"

"Well yes but…"

"Is this because you are dating Yuu's sister?" Akiho rubbed her forehead.

"Well that is one of the reasons," Naruto fidgeted.

"Geez," Akiho let out a big sigh. "Never would have thought you would be the one that hurt her so bad…"

"Argh…" Naruto flinched from the remark.

"There's only one thing you can do," Akiho put her hand on Naruto's shoulders. "You have to break up with Kotegawa-chan and date Haruna."

"…Wouldn't that just lead to Yui-chan getting hurt?"

"Why would I care about that?" Akiho crossed her arms. "I'm just looking out for my sis you know?"

"I see…" Naruto sighed. "Sorry but I can't just drop Yui-chan like that."

"Really?" Akiho smiled seductively. "Not even if it was a two for one trade?"

"Pardon?"

"You are kind of cute," Akiho winked at him. "Tell you what… If you date Haruna… maybe you and me can have some fun on the side. How's that? Two girlfriends for the price of one."

"Didn't you just say that you were looking out for Haruna? I don't think getting her boyfriend to cheat on her with you is looking out for her. Come to think of it, aren't you seeing Yuu's brother?"

"Well…" Akiho looked conflicted. "I wouldn't say we are dating… Just that we hang around a lot because it's fun you know? And besides I wasn't actually going to do anything with you," Akiho scoffed. "What girl in the world would share her boyfriend?"

"… Yeah who'd do that?" Naruto started to look slightly flushed but Akiho didn't seem to notice.

"Well…" Akiho glanced at the out cold Rito. "I guess I should do something about him." She had a sudden stroke of inspiration. "Well… If you won't comfort Haruna maybe er…"

"Yuuki-kun."

"Yuuki-kun might," She shot Naruto a sly look, "Unless you have a problem with that."

"Not at all," Naruto smiled back. _'In fact… That is probably for the best.' _

"Oh yeah?" Akiho lifted Rito up. "Well if you are sure…" She walked away slowly, giving Naruto plenty of time to watch her leave and stop her if he wanted, which he didn't. "Feh," Akiho scowled. _'Well as soon as he sees Haruna and Yuuki-san getting all friendly he will quickly realise how much he loves my little sister.' _She smirked triumphantly. "I am a genius!"

* * *

Lala yawned cutely as she woke up and rolled over to hug Naruto, only to find the centre of the bed unoccupied. "Naruto?" She got up and wiped the sleep out of her eyes before frowning slightly.

"Good morning!" A familiar voice called out and entered the room, waking the other girls.

"M-momma?" Lala blinked as Sephie carried a tray over to them.

"Here you go," Sephie set the tray on Lala's lap. "Now be sure to eat up! You are eating for two now."

"Why are you here?" Momo grumbled as she woke up. "Not that I don't want to see you mind."

"Well I have to check in on my future grandchild!" Sephie patted Lala's slight baby bump with a soft smile. "How is everything?"

"She is fine, High Priestess." Mikado walked into the room with a cup of strong coffee. She had bags under her eyes and looked like she had gotten a couple of hours sleep max. "She is still in the early stages of pregnancy."

"Do you have a fallout shelter prepared?" Sephie asked.

"Of course," Mikado smirked, "This isn't the first devilukian pregnancy I've had to deal with."

"Why do you need a fallout shelter?" Risa asked uncertainly as she pushed herself up on her elbows to stare enviously at the large breakfast on Lala's lap.

"Oh as a holder of Satalin, Lala will probably go thermonuclear during stage three of the pregnancy." Sephie said as if it was nothing whilst Lala looked between her breakfast and Risa's hungry expression.

"Wait what?!" Risa did a double take as Lala handed her a burnt slice of toast. "…Thanks."

"If you want a better slice all you have to do is admit your wedding doesn't count." Lala beamed.

"Ha! Jokes on you, I like burnt toast." Risa lied. "So about this fallout shelter thing?"

"Stage three pregnancy makes Devilukians with Damus seals a little… erratic." Mikado chuckled. "Basically they start activating their powers subconsciously and Satalin has kind of a fetish for lava and destruction so I prepared a chamber to seal Lala in when she suffers from one of her Damus Seal mishaps."

"Wait," Kushina tilted her head. "Are you saying that you are going to lock Lala up for this phase?"

"It will last a couple of days at most," Mikado smiled. "And she won't be constantly suffering from these attacks. It is basically like a form of Devilukian morning sickness. I have prepared for everything I can assure you. I doubt she would spend more than fifteen minutes per session in the fallout chamber."

"Well…" Sephie seemed to size Mikado up before shrugging. "If Lala-chan is happy with you…"

"I am Mama. Mikado-chan is a really good doctor!"

"Well I'll trust your judgement," Sephie paused. "How are my little twins doing?"

"Meh," Momo stretched. "Got a nice little harem going for Naruto so I can't complain. Plus, I'm pretty sure we are going to be going to a ball tonight so that should be fun. Oh and The Night of Exuberance is coming up so… That'll be fun. It will be my first time celebrating it with a lover."

"Night of Exuberance?" Kushina raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like a fun holiday."

"It is part of my religion," Momo shrugged.

"Wait, wait, wait… you are religious?" Risa crossed her arms.

"Yup," Momo nodded. "All berserkers tend to be, at least Delta class ones."

"So who do you worship?"

"The Omega." Momo stated bluntly.

"The… Didn't you say Naruto was going to become the Omega or something?" Risa scowled.

"That's not possible," Lala interrupted. "The 'Omega' is just giving godly qualities to the Prime, the first true Devilukian."

"Oh not this again," Nana grumbled and pulled a pillow over her head. "Ane-ue and Momo never can get along when it comes to religion."

"Then how can you explain the miracles," Momo stated firmly. "The curing of the berserkers? The establishing of what would one day be known as the Devilukian empire?"

"He used strategy to form the empire and as for the berserkers… Maybe he had a chemical compound that calmed them?" Lala crossed her arms. "The only 'Gods' were the Damus and the Arcangus and they are both just ghosts compared to what they once were!"

"Believe what you will," Momo crossed her arms. "I believe Naruto will be the second coming of the True Omega."

"He'll be coming more than two times when I'm through with him, if you know what I mean." Kushina elbowed a smirking Risa, effectively eliminating the tense atmosphere between the two sisters.

"You know," Risa shook her head. "I never took you for the religious type."

"What do you mean?" Momo blinked.

"Well, you kind of do what you want."

"And?" Momo smiled. "The Omega left only three commandments. Basically we are to live life to the full, to not let ourselves get bogged down with religious dogma and to honour the memory of the Omega."

"How do you do that?"

"By acknowledging the Day of Feasting, The Evening of Recollection and the Night of Exuberance. Those are the three main holidays of the Omega Principia Vitae- That's basically our bible." Momo explained. "At the beginning of the year, we feast and drink to celebrate anther year in control of our own destinies. The middle of the year we spend a whole evening in quiet contemplation, remembering our victories but also our losses then near the end of the year we spend a night experiencing the pleasures of the flesh. Usually this would just be either a really extravagant meal or a maybe a massage or a night with a really potent incense. Of course those in relationships tend to just have quite a lot of kinky sex." She finished bluntly.

"And this is your religion?" Kushina blinked. "Where do I sign up?"

"It's not really a religion by Earth standards as we are not expected to pray to the Omega, although some do. I'd say by Earth terms it is more of a way of life." Momo explained. "Although I suppose we do pray to Him when we have times of strife. We have a massive temple on Deviluke dedicated to Him. I'll show you when we go there."

"Sounds fun," Risa nodded.

"Prepare to be disappointed," Nana grumbled.

"So…" Sephie smiled at the other girls. "I don't believe we have been introduced."

"I'm Kushina, that one's Risa. The nurse over there is Mikado." Kushina waved dismissively. "So what's with the veil? Some sort of religious reason? I heard Mikado call you the High Priestess."

"Ah," Sephie nodded. "I am the High Priestess of the Charmian faith, we worship and follow the teachings of the Arcangus."

"Oh those chibi angels right?" Kushina blinked.

"You… You hold one?!" Sephie took Kushina's hand as if she were going to propose to her.

"I used to," Kushina blinked as Sephie sighed in disappointment. "Naruto has one and so do quite a few people around here." She paused. "Huh, kind of odd that considering there are only seven Arcangus holders that so many are located here."

"That… Isn't as odd as you might thing," Sephie coughed. "There is a powerful Artefact buried beneath this town that attracts the spirits of the Arcangus."

"Oh…" Kushina blinked. "So the veil?"

"Ah, that is because I am too beautiful."

"Come again?"

"If I do not cover my face, men everywhere are bewitched by my appearance. It is truly a curse." She sighed softly. "Only three men have ever gazed upon my face and not been bewitched: My husband Gid, my father and… well it doesn't matter about the third one." She laughed softly.

"No one is that pretty," Kushina scoffed and peeled the veil to one side, stared for a moment then put it back.

"Kushina?" Risa blinked.

"I'm not saying that I would cheat on Naruto, but I could definitely see myself in a threesome with your mom." Kushina remarked to Nana.

"Is everyone around here such a perverted beast?!" Nana exclaimed.

"My that sounds like fun," Sephie remarked.

"EH?!" The three sisters cried out in alarm.

"Joking," Sephie giggled at her daughter's reactions. "Now then… tell me everything you three have been up to!"

* * *

Naruto finished his jog in the park, enjoying the quiet. No doubt once he got back to the house chaos would resume, not that he didn't enjoy the chaos but a little peace and quiet was never to be passed up. He reached into his pocket as he felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out.

"Hello?" Naruto sat down on a bench.

"Ah, I am glad this is the correct number."

"Saki?"

"The one and only," Saki sounded quite cheerful. "You recently took the name Namikaze am I right?"

"Er yeah," Naruto nodded. "Why?"

"Because I have a few spare tickets to my charity ball tonight. Unfortunately, I can only give you four tickets. Both you and Momioka-san are members of influential families so can receive tickets and a 'Plus one' invitation."

"I see…" Naruto paused. "Thank you. I'll have to think of some way to thank you."

"I'm sure I will think of something." Saki sounded amused. "I shall have Rin-chan dropped them off at your house and I eagerly await your presence."

"Er… What's the charity ball for?"

"Oh it is a local charity for helping homeless children off of the streets and into productive lines of work." Saki remarked. "The ball is being hosted by a close friend of the Tenjouin, a Mr Hebi. It will be a suit and tie affair. I do remember you wearing a rather dashing suit to the Winter ball. Maybe this time we will be able to share a dance."

"That sounds like fun," Naruto nodded. "I'll see you there."

"Great, goodbye."

"See you later," Naruto ended the call. "Huh, I wonder who I'll be taking to that ball."

"Lala of course." All of a sudden an oppressive presence surrounded Naruto. It forced him to his knees and seemed to be suffocating him, he felt worthless… Just an insignificant speck of… No… Lala and the others loved him. He wasn't nobody! He was Naruto Uzumaki! He felt his anger rising and clenched his fists tight enough to draw blood.

"Shoten," He growled as he red aura burst into life before shrinking around him, allowing him to breathe freely although he was still moving as if he was underwater. "Shoten X2!" His aura further shrunk but now he could move unhindered. "Who the hell dares?"

"Wait a minute…" The aura vanished suddenly and Naruto found himself staring at a confused Gid who had just appeared in front of him. "You… You can completely overpower my Aura of Authority? Huh." Gid chuckled. "I knew there was a reason why I didn't just destroy this whole planet."

"Gid?" Naruto blinked. "What are you doing here? Don't you have an empire to run or something?"

"I just came to check on my daughters," Gid remarked. "And you know, beat the mother loving crap out of you for daring… do those sorts of things with my precious little Lala!"

"Do those sort of things?" Naruto blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You know damn well what I mean!" Gid was blushing furiously.

"I… Are you talking about sex?"

"I'm talking about getting her pregnant without having sex somehow as my precious little Lala would never do such a thing! She is a cute, little angel!"

"Er…" Naruto blinked. "Actually Lala is quite sexually active, at least she was until she got pregnant and…"

"Lies!" Gid hurled a blast of crimson energy at Naruto, who easily dodged the clumsy attack. "My precious little Lala is an innocent little girl! You… You took advantage of her!"

"I'm sure nobody like that small bit of greenery anyway," Naruto mumbled as Gid's attack reduced a small group of trees into ashes.

"She used to be so innocent you know," Gid pulled a small device out of his pocket and pressed a button. A small video of a young Lala completely dismantling a warship and reassembling it started to play.

"_What are you doing Lala-chan?" _A soft voice asked and it took Naruto some time to realise that it was in fact Gid's.

"_I wanna know how it works!" _She beamed happily._ "I wanna build my own so I can visit him~" _

"_Who is he?" _

"_The man I am going to marry!" _The video cut off as Gid pressed a button.

"This means a lot to her you know," Gid spoke tiredly. "Ever since the suitor games started she was so down and despondent then one day she turned into such a happy and energetic girl… The girl she should have always been. I know I am not the best father… If I had more support in the council, I could have discontinued the Suitor games but to do so would risk civil war. I've tried to weed out the worst of the scum, I even allowed her best friend to be her suitor, despite the fact they were both girls, as she was strong and kind to Lala… She is still called the strongest suitor after all."

"So the strongest Suitor is a girl?"

"That a problem? You got issues with fighting a girl?"

"If it is for Lala's hand in marriage, not really." Naruto admitted. "Plus you say she is strong so… I'm kind of getting excited."

"Hah!" Gid snorted. "That'll be your mother's genes alright. She was never one to shy from a fight. Even when we fought the last of the Old Gods…"

"Old gods? You mean the Damus?"

"Yeah," Gid shivered. "That's a fight that very nearly killed all of the holy knights and myself. Your mother went toe to toe with a God because she wanted to test her strength and I suppose save the Galaxy since the Damus of Misery wanted everyone, everywhere to suffer for eternity. Fortunately, the Damus of Misery is one of the weakest and she didn't think us lesser 'Devilkin' were a threat so Choumei-san was able to seal away most of her powers and we did the rest."

"You killed a Damus?"

"Somethings cannot be killed, only contained." Gid shook his head. "But I wouldn't worry about her. She was sealed away in a place where no one can get to her."

"Is it bad that a tiny part of me is disappointed?" Naruto scowled.

"Like I said," Gid shook his head smirking, "You are getting more and more like your mother. It is your Berserker instincts. So long as you don't let them control you, you'll be fine."

"Noted," Naruto paused. "So are you here to see Lala, Momo and Nana then?"

"Yeah," Gid sighed. "Pregnancy is one hell of a trial but I'm sure Lala will make it through alright. You though…" He looked thoughtful, "Eh we'll see." He turned to walk away before pausing and calling over his shoulder, "Oh and one last thing. If you break my daughters' hearts… I will beat you to the verge of death then make you watch as I destroy your entire planet and everything you love. Then I might kill you or maybe I'll leave you to suffer in a cell for the rest of your days. Depends how I feel at the time."

"Good look with that," Naruto remarked. "'Cause if I ever hurt the girls… I kick my own ass into oblivion."

Gid gave a snort of laughter before teleporting away.

"For someone who called his daughters flawed he is suddenly very protective." Naruto mused.

"UZUMAKI! Why are you destroying random scenery?!"

"Yui-chan?" Naruto span around. "Oh and Kotegawa-san. It wasn't me honestly!"

"Likely story! There is nobody else here…" Yui paused with a soft smile. "Wow… this is really nostalgic isn't it?"

"Yeah you used to always been on my case for something." He glanced at the smouldering greenery. "But it was Lala's dad."

"I see," Yui nodded. "He's the guy who destroyed that swimming pool right? I will give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Thanks?" Naruto laughed weakly. "So what are you two doing out this early? It's only just going quarter past six."

"Ah." She suddenly blushed. "Well… Since school is still cancelled I figured I would… pay a visit to your house…" She mumbled.

"I think she wanted to sneak into your bed whilst you were still asleep." Yuu remarked. "So she woke me up to escort her."

"Nii-Sama!" Yui glared at her big brother.

"What?" Yuu grinned. "It's perfectly natural. I know I would love to slip into Akiho-chan's bed."

"Stop making it seem so perverted!" Yui pointed angrily at Yuu. "Such shameless topics should not be spoken of in public."

"Right, right," Yuu laughed. "Well I'll leave her in your capable hands then Naruto-san!" Yuu saluted. "I have to wait at home!"

"Why?" Yui blinked.

"I might have missed a call from Akiho-chan. She's been super busy of late and hasn't been able to get time of work to see me."

"Oh… Is that so?" Naruto debated telling him that Akiho didn't seem as invested in the relationship as Yuu was but decided against it. It wasn't his place to stick his nose in and if they had a good thing going he had no right to ruin that.

"Remember to use protection~" Yuu called out.

"Nii-sama!" Yui threw a stone that missed him as he laughed and jogged away.

"So…" Naruto tilted his head. "Do you want to go back to mine or just sit back and enjoy this beautiful morning?"

"I'm not in a rush," Yui mumbled as the two sat down on a bench.

"So… What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Huh?" Yui blinked. "Am I that transparent?"

"I'd like to think it's simply that I know you quite well," He put an arm around her and gave her a quick hug. "Is something bothering you?"

"It's nothing major," Yui smiled weakly. "It's just… I was wondering… If you have any plans tonight?"

"Tonight?" Naruto looked thoughtful. "Well there is the Charity ball…"

"Oh?" Yui tilted her head. "Saki mentioned that when we went on a shopping trip with her."

"Only problem is I can only take four people, including myself and Risa-chan."

"Oh," Yui looked thoughtful, "Who were you going to take?"

"I don't know." Naruto admitted. "I was thinking I would ask who would want to go with me. I mean it would be kind of easy for me if only two people want to go. Do you want to go with me?"

"W-well," Yui started to blush. "I… I mean I don't mind if I don't go… In fact… if you wouldn't mind…"

"Yes?"

"Maybe… you'd want to spend the night at my house…" Yui was practically glowing with embarrassment.

"Eh?"

"I mean if you don't want to…"

"No that's not it," Naruto grinned at her. "I'd love to but wouldn't your parents object?"

"Nii-sama won't be home and my parents are busy with work. My mother is out of town for a Police conference. Our crime stats are really low around here so they always have my mother travelling to other areas to hold talks. My father is always out of town as well; he always goes everywhere with mother because she is worried my father will get up to something shameless when she is gone."

"Must be pretty lonely then." Naruto smiled at her. "I mean with your brother going on dates all the time you must spend a lot of time alone."

"I never really noticed but I guess you are right." Yui blinked.

"No wonder you are quite mature for your age." Naruto smiled weakly. "If you spend so much time alone I guess you have to grow up faster mentally. Would also explain why you seem to be a little awkward socially…"

"Hey!" Yui hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"You know I love you," He smiled as he drew her into a hug.

"I-idiot! What if someone sees us?" Yui asked but put no effort into trying to break from his hug.

"Let them see," Naruto lifted her chin up. "I'm not embarrassed."

"Idiot," Yui whispered softly as Naruto leaned forward and kissed her for a few seconds before they broke away. "So… that's a yes to tonight?"

"Of course," Naruto smiled as Yui leant her head against his shoulder and the two sat in a peaceful silence for a good few minutes.

"Hey there!" Kichi ran over to them. "Good morning Aniki, Aniki's girl." He bowed politely.

"Eh?" Yui scowled. "It is improper to refer to me as 'Aniki's girl!' I have an existence of my own you know!"

"Ah sorry, sorry," Kichi bowed deeply. "Er… What do you want to be called?"

"It is proper to call me Kotegawa-san."

"Okay then Kowegata-chan."

"That's Kotegawa! And it's -san to you!" Yui fumed as Naruto snickered.

"So what are you doing around here Kichi? Old man got you doing an early morning workout? Or is it a business thing?" Naruto cuddled Yui, unaware of his tail starting to creep its way down the back of Yui's back, causing her to shiver which Naruto mistook for her being cold and only held her tighter.

"Business," Kichi tapped his nose knowingly. After defeating (?) Manda he had asked Bunta about the mystical bokuto that Bunta had given him. Bunta had introduced Naruto to the whole smuggling operation he had as well as explaining the terms of his tab and what they could do for him, saying all they wanted in return was a bit of leniency when he became Emperor, which Naruto was willing to concede so long as they didn't do anything too illegal.

"I see," Naruto nodded. "Who's the client?" Unaware of his tail's slow descent beneath Yui's dress, who was trying her best not to cry out. She tried to indicate to Naruto with her eyes but Naruto was completely missing the message.

"I don't know," Kichi scowled. "Nobody tells me anything."

"Well so long as it isn't anything dangerous." Naruto smiled, "Or shameless right?" He glanced at Yui who nodded her head. Before she could vocally respond she was forced to bite her lip as the tail finally slipped beneath her panties, teasing her lower lips. She wanted to say something to bring her state to Naruto's condition but daren't open her mouth in case she moaned erotically in front of Kichi.

"Nah just some exotic materials, nothing harmful or anything." Kichi bowed. "See you Kowegata-chan."

Yui just nodded briskly and buried her head into Naruto's chest waiting for Kichi to leave, which he did.

"You alright?" Naruto asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Tail," She squeaked.

"Oh crap!" He pulled his tail furiously, the sudden jerk against Yui's maiden flower caused the build-up in her to suddenly surge out and she moaned erotically before going teary eyed. "Sorry!" Naruto bowed his head. "I don't know why my tail only wants to play around with you. I usually keep it under control but…"

"You can't help yourself around me?" Yui tried not to be too happy about that. "How shameless."

"I guess you could say that." Naruto smiled and hugged her again.

"It wasn't unpleasant," Yui mumbled. "But if it does it in public again… I'll cut it off!"

"…Noted." Naruto blinked.

"I can't have your tail making me make such shameless noises." Yui blushed.

"Really?" Naruto leaned in to kiss Yui. "I think they are cute…"

"I-idiot…" Yui mumbled before kissing him softly on the lips. "You can save the sweet talk for tonight."

"Right," Naruto nodded as he got off of the bench. "Can you walk?"

"My legs feel kind of wobbly," Yui admitted.

"Here we go," He lifted her bridal style, ignoring her eep of surprise. "Let's go home, my princess." He gave her a quick kiss.

'_I could get used to this…' _Yui snugged into Naruto's chest as he carried her. "Just… get us back to your house before too many people see us."

"Your wish is my command," Naruto regathered his aura.

"Er… What are you…."

"Away we go!" Naruto suddenly started to fly through the air.

"W-w-w-what?!" Yui clung to Naruto.

"Don't worry! I've been practicing this for a while." Naruto assured her.

"Oh…" She calmed slightly.

"I mean I spent an hour or so yesterday inventing this ability so…"

Yui tightened her grip.

"It went with no problems…. Except landing. Landing is hard. To be fair I could have just used my Arcangus aura since that has wings but… I think there is something infinitely cooler about just rocketing towards your opponent to punch them in the face, or floating whilst surrounding in a furious red aura. Sounds pretty cool eh?" Naruto narrowly missed a bird as he soared through the sky.

"If I die… I will haunt you for the rest of your days." Yui warned.

"Having you by my side all the time doesn't seem like a bad thing to me."

"I-idiot!" Yui huffed. "Just… focus on flying okay?"

"Will do." Naruto smirked. _'Let's just hope the Stealth device Lala built actually works. I'd hate for someone to see me flying through the air. That would probably raise some questions… Then again everyone just seems to accept Lala is an alien and doesn't seem to notice nor care when an alien spacecraft attacks. I must live in the weirdest place in the world if these things go unnoticed. Heck I doubt me flying would even get a second glance!' _

* * *

"Do your business dog!" Kenichi sighed as he walked the family's pet dog, an aging old dachshund called Hotto. "Seriously why the hell am I even up this early? School is closed!"

"Quit your whining nii-chan," Ayumi glared at her big brother. "I was having a wonderful dream until you woke me up!"

"Well you know what they say," Kenichi nodded sagely, "Misery loves company!"

"Tch… I was on the best date ever." She sighed happily. "My blonde Adonis was taking me shopping and letting me buy whatever I wanted. Then we went to this really expensive restaurant and we shared a sundae! Then he took me back to his castle and told me he was prince of the sparkly vampires and proposed to me~" Ayumi squealed. "Then you woke me just as he was about to turn me into his vampire princess." She glared her brother.

"I don't know who your blonde Adonis is but I can assure you there are better men than him around, like the Manly sage." Kenichi nodded.

"Is your manly sage a Vampire Prince who is absolutely loaded and really romantic?!"

"Er… No but his is a man upon men whom exudes romance from his every pore! I think he is kind of rich although he doesn't live like it, plus he isn't a sparkly twilight vampire," Kenichi looked disgusted. "He would kill those sparkly vampires just be glaring at them! They would like… spontaneously combust!"

"Feh," Ayumi scoffed. "Foolish big brother I…" She fell silent as she saw her blonde Adonis fly overhead.

"'Suka?"

"He is a vampire…" Ayumi blinked. "He can fly?!"

"Did you slip back into your dream?"

"But he was carrying a girl in his arms… he must be… a super hero vampire prince!"

"My sister has finally gone insane." Kenichi sighed.

"That must be it. He was carrying a girl from a fire or something!"

"If we could harness your delusions as an energy source we could power the entire country for years." Kenichi remarked as Ayumi started to daydream about being in a burning building and Naruto saving her.

"Or maybe… He turned Mikan-chan into an adult?" Ayumi gasped. "Then that means… I would be a super sexy Vampire Princess! Oh take me next my Blonde Adonis~"

* * *

Rito groaned as he regained consciousness. The last thing he could remember was he was jogging with Naruto. It should have occurred to Rito that Naruto, a person who often found himself fighting monstrous creatures with ridiculous powers, would probably have a pretty intense training regimen. What was just a brisk warm up for Naruto was far more taxing for Rito, who got most of his exercise playing football or soccer if you prefer.

He tried to open to his eyes but found his entire body refused to respond to his wishes. His was suffering from aches in every part of his body. After what seemed like an eternity he managed to clamber out of bed. He was in a room he didn't recognise. There were pictures of Haruna and her sister on the bedside cabinet but that was about it. It looked like the owner of this room probably spent very little time here.

"Is Yuuki-kun awake yet?" Haruna's unmistakable voice sounded from outside the room.

"Still out cold," A voice that was vaguely familiar to Rito called out. "Man… Maybe I went a bit too far…"

"How hard did you hit him Onee-sama?"

"Hey! I thought I was being attacked!" Akiho sounded vaguely upset.

"Yuuki-kun isn't like that! He is a kind and gentle person!"

'_Haruna-chan is defending me!' _Rito was starting to think that all the pain was worth it, just to hear his beloved Haruna praising him.

"Well sorry for assuming the worst when someone pulls down my panties! Heck Naruto almost saw my unmentionables."

"N-Naruto-kun?" Haruna's voice was tinged with hurt.

"I had an interesting conversation with him you know?"

"I see… We should leave Yuuki-kun to rest." Haruna tried to change to subject but her sister was not one to be easily distracted.

"He mentioned that you confessed to him."

"I… I don't want to talk about it."

"So he really did turn you down?" Akiho sounded shocked. "I… Wow. I mean he told me that but I didn't really believe it."

'_Naruto turned her down? But why?' _Rito was so surprised that he took a step back, standing on a pair of panties which he slipped on, resulting in him landing flat on his back and the panties landing on his knee. He picked them up to toss to one side as Akiho and Haruna ran into the room.

"Are you okay Yu…" Haruna froze.

"Wait a minute. Those are mine!" Akiho snatched them from a madly stuttering Rito.

"It was an accident!" Rito protested.

"Oh? I'd be more willing to believe you if this wasn't the second time you've had your grubby mitts on my underwear!" Akiho cracked her knuckles whilst glowing with feminine fury.

"Onee-sama!" Haruna calmed her sister, "If you hit him again you will probably kill him!"

"Tch," Akiho stood back. "How long have you been away eh? Eavesdropping on a private conversation?"

"Ah no!" Rito tried to get to his feet quickly to get away from the angry sister but ended up tripping over himself and falling into Akiho's dirty laundry basket.

"WHAT THE HELL?! GET OUTTA THERE YOU LITTLE PERVERT!"

"Onee-sama! Put down the baseball bat!"

'_Somebody save me!' _Rito thought to himself.

* * *

"Hi everyone," Naruto walked into the house with a soft smile, Yui at his side, her hair a little messy from the flight but otherwise unharmed. He paused as he saw Gid and Sephie say at a table. "Oh hello there. It's Sephie right?"

"That's right." Sephie was sat at the main table with her daughters all happily chatting to her. "Or you can call me mother in law."

"I'll keep that in mind," Naruto smiled. "Does that make you my father in law?" He glanced at Gid who shot him a warning glare but said nothing.

"Oh, it's the half-brick girl," Gid remarked on seeing Yui.

"Half-brick girl?" Naruto blinked.

"She threatened me with a half-brick," Gid remarked bluntly.

"W-well…" Yui looked guilty. "You were hurting Naruto-kun!"

"Is that so?" Sephie turned to Gid who suddenly started sweating.

"Er what is that Zastin?" He tried to pick up his communication device that was on the table but instead picked up a slice of toast off of the table and held it to his ear. "The Omnicronians are rebelling? Well I'd best go see to that. Bye!" He teleported away.

"I apologise for my husband's behaviour," Sephie sighed. "He is a big child at times."

"Well… He's not the only one," Yui glanced at Naruto.

"What? I am the very height of maturity," Naruto declared.

"It's getting worse," Momo sighed.

"It really is, isn't it?" Lala sighed softly.

"I know you said it was a problem but I never realised it was this bad," Sephie added.

"Eh?" Naruto glanced at Yui who looked equally confused.

"Your denial," The three devilukians and their mother said in unison.

"Come again?"

"Willingly," Risa stuck her tongue out.

"Ignoring the bitch in heat over there," Nana wrinkled her nose. "Your belief that you are mature is quite frankly insanity."

"Add to that your complete unwillingness to recognise that you have a harem," Momo started.

"I don't have a harem," Naruto replied automatically with Yui echoing his sentiments.

"Point proven!" Lala beamed.

"Guess they aren't going to Saki's ball then," Naruto remarked matter-of-factly.

"What? Ball?" Lala tilted her head with a cute look of confusion.

"Saki has sent us four tickets for some Charity ball or another," Naruto shrugged dismissively. "Risa and myself have to go so that leaves two tickets up for grabs. I was wondering who wanted to go?"

"I have other plans unfortunately," Mikado chuckled as she entered the room. "I'm still working on the finishing touches for Oshizu-chan's new body. There have been some… minor issues…"

_Flashback_

"There," Mikado looked around the ghost girl's artificial form. "That seems to be working fine." Oshizu was currently wearing a nurse's outfit and moving around the room, stretching and generally getting used to her new body.

"R-really?" Oshizu carefully lifted up a small vial. "Ah! I can touch things! I can also feel things! This body is quite amazing Mikado-sensei!"

Mikado watched with a small smile as the energetic ghost happily skipped around the room until there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

"Yo sexy nurse lady," Kiba strolled in with a basket in his hands. "Could you check on Akamaru for me?"

"Akamaru?" The School nurse looked confused.

"He's my partner. He's not been himself since we got here and I think it was something that a little girl fed him."

"Ah I have heard all about the partners of the Inu people." Mikado put on some surgical gloves, "Say Oshizu-chan. Would you do me a favour and put Akamaru-kun on the bench whilst I get some of my examination tools."

"Okay Sensei!" Oshizu saluted energetically. "Let me have a look at… at…" She suddenly froze on peering into the basket to see a small dog. "KYAH!" She screamed and everything in to the room was blasted away, the head of the fake body exploding from the sheer psychic force exuded, leaving a twitching headless doll and the ghostly Oshizu floating above it.

"Oh no… We killed a nurse?" Kiba glanced at his partner. "Let's get out of here!" He high tailed it out of the room.

"Okay then so…" Mikado blinked as she saw the headless fake body and a stuttering Oshizu who appeared to be in a sort of terrified trance. The room looked like a bomb had hit it. "What on Earth happened here?"

_End Flashback _

"Fortunately Oshizu-chan finally recovered to explain what the issue was." Mikado remarked. "I need to install a sort of psychic dampener but so far have had little success integrating it into the doll."

"Oooh!" Lala looked interesting. "Can I help?"

"Wouldn't you rather go with Naruto to the ball?"

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "I would but… I also really want to help Oshizu-chan…"

"Help Mikado," Naruto smiled. "I'm sure we will attend plenty of balls when I am emperor and you are my empress."

"Hai!" Lala felt a surge of happiness that filled her entire core.

"Lala? Are you alright?" Naruto frowned softly. "Are you crying?"

"Huh?" Lala wiped away the tears. "Ah sorry. I'm just so happy!"

"Pardon?"

"I mean… you called me your empress!" Lala hugged herself.

"What's that make me?" Risa asked.

"Not his empress!" Lala stuck her tongue out childishly.

"Well as much as I would love to go," Momo smiled softly. "I think you should take Yui and Kushina."

"Not that I'm arguing but why?" Kushina blinked.

"You haven't had much time with him lately and Yui doesn't live here," Momo shrugged. "Plus if it is an important human ball then just take humans. Plus I'll be taking Naruto for the Night of Exuberence so I can let this opportunity pass me by."

"Any objections?" Kushina glanced at Nana who scoffed.

"Why would I want to go to a human ball? Given your species tendency towards perversion it will probably be some sort of S&amp;M club!"

"Humanity isn't that bad!" Yui defended her species. "I mean… some of them maybe but when you went to Saki-san's fancy dress party nothing untoward happened."

"I walked through the gardens!" Nana went bright red. "And there were people kissing and… doing other things," She finished with a squeak.

"Other things?!" Yui went bright red. "In p-public?!"

"Right!" Nana nodded furiously.

"How shameless!" Yui frowned. "Such things should be kept confined to private!"

"Right!" Nana continued nodding, happy to have a kindred soul in the matter.

"That sounds Ecchi," Yami intoned. "I will stay here. Mikan has requested that I join her for her slumber party with her friends.

"Ah!" Yui jumped as Yami emerged from the shadows. "You scared me. How long have you been there?"

"I always accompany Uzumaki-san on his morning jogs. I have heard that morning wood is an ailment that affects men and makes them do Ecchi things." Yami stated.

"Er… Okay?" Yui blinked before returning her attention to Naruto.

"So I'm taking Yui, Risa and Kushina to the ball then?" Naruto let out a sigh of relief.

"What's a matter?" Mikado raised an eyebrow, "That was quite the heavy sigh."

"I wasn't looking forward to having to choose." Naruto admitted.

"It would take more than something like that to stop me loving you," Lala reassured him.

"Yeah it would be the person you chose instead of her that would have to watch out," Momo chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lala pouted.

"Nothing, nothing," Momo hugged her big sister. "Just messing around Onee-sama."

"Oh there is just one slight issue," Lala interrupted. "I've been looking into rumours of the Orochimaru ever since the Manda incident. The remainders of the Manda fleet were captured by Papa and they managed to get some intel on Orochimaru's location. He is on Earth."

"Manda incident?" Sephie blinked.

"I lost my hand," Naruto replied chirpily.

"Er…" Sephie glanced at his two perfectly healthy hands.

"I got better," Naruto shrugged.

"Promise me you'll be careful okay?" Lala looked worried. "We don't know if he knows about you and what his plans are."

"I promise."

"Oh and one more thing," Lala shyly smiled at him, "When you get back home I have something I want to do with you~"

"W-what?" Nana gasped.

"Oh my! How bold!" Sephie clapped her hands together happily.

"Ah sorry!" Naruto bowed apologetically. "I already promised Yui-chan I would stay at hers tonight."

"WHAT?!" The entire group cried out in alarm.

"Seriously?" Momo looked between the two as if expecting one of them to cry out 'surprise'.

"I… Well…" Yui was bright red with embarrassment. "I… It is…"

"I get it, I get it," Momo nodded.

"Your first time will be a little scary and you want it in a familiar environment." Lala nodded. "That's fine! We should all have a big sleepover!"

"Actually… I was… Kind of hoping…" Yui mumbled.

"Pardon?"

"Yui was hoping it would be just the two of us." Naruto squeezed Yui's shoulder for support.

"…Oh…" Lala blinked. "Well… That's… That's fine." She smiled.

"You really don't mind?" Yui bit her lip.

"Of course not Yui-chan!" Lala beamed. "After all it is one step closer to you moving in here!"

"I couldn't… A man and a woman under the same roof and not married…"

"Didn't you used to say the same thing about sex?" Momo pointed out.

"Er… Well…"

"Relationships evolve over time," Momo smiled. "Do what you feel comfortable with."

"You…" Yui smiled. "Thank you Momo-san."

"Just Momo," She winked. "After all we are all going to be sisters soon."

"Soon?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Because you are going to kick Papa's butt and marry us all!" Lala started shadow boxing.

"That's the plan," Naruto nodded.

"Or at least marry those who he isn't married to." Risa added.

"Mama! Do you remember where that secret black hole Papa uses to dispose of Government secrets is? One where I could hide the evidence of… something that may be evidence in say a little crime like maybe, possibly a murder weapon and corpse?"

"Well that wasn't sinister at all," Risa shivered.

"Of course," Sephie smiled, "It is…"

"Don't tell her damn it!" Risa wailed.

* * *

Rito groaned as Haruna handed him another ice pack that he rested on his swollen jaw. "T-Thanks." He tried to smile but only winced in pain and started to fidget nervously. Haruna had chased her big sister away after she had pulled out a Butcher's knife on him and had apologised for her sister's behaviour. The two were currently sat in the main living room staring at the TV, too nervous to actually speak to each other.

"N-No worries," Haruna glanced at him before quickly looking away. "S-so… How much did you hear?"

"I… I heard that Naruto turned you down." Rito mumbled.

"Ah…" She trailed off.

"Ah sorry! I didn't mean to…" He trailed off as Haruna sadly stared at the TV. "I… I kind of hate him even more now."

"Pardon?"

"Naruto… There has always been this little part of me that was jealous. He always seems to have such good relationships with girls whereas I…"

"Naruto-san doesn't have such a good relationship with others." Haruna idly fidgeted. "Before he met me he had no friends… Everyone was always so scared of his hair."

"I know how that feels," Rito nodded, "I mean being scared of him. He is quite the intimidating character at times."

"But he is really nice." Haruna frowned. "It… It always used to make me so angry when I saw him getting into trouble. He would always laugh it off but deep down… I know he was hurting but he would never show it to the world. What kind of upbringing makes someone so terrified of showing weakness?" She smiled softly, "The only time he ever shows his weaknesses is when it comes to the supernatural… We are kind of alike when it comes to that."

"I see," Rito mumbled.

"Ah I'm sorry," Haruna bowed her head. "I… I probably should be talking about something that Yuuki-kun likes. I am being a poor host."

"N-Not at all," Rito laughed. "I mean… If it makes Sarenji-chan feel better, then that's good." He forced a smile.

"I'm sorry," She repeated. "I guess… I'm not mature enough to be able to deal with love right now."

"Oh?" Rito sounded disappointed but quickly covered it up, "I think that Naruto was an idiot to turn you down." He looked at his lap. "I know if it had been me you had asked…" He mumbled under his breath.

"That is one of Yuuki-kun's good points." Haruna smiled. "You are a kind person… I'm sorry for what I said when I was under the effects of that potion."

"Oh I'd forgotten about it so don't worry," Rito lied.

"It… I mean…" Haruna trailed off, unable to say anything more. _'Come on Haruna! Explain your feelings to him!' _She glanced and made eye contact with Rito before they both chickened out and stared at the screen. _'What's the worst that could happen?' _

Haruna's Imagination

"Oh so now that Naruto turned you down, you want to ask me out? Like I'm you rebound or something? Well it might surprise you but I like you as a friend but seeing how you see me… I don't think we are even that anymore! Good bye forever!"

End Imagination

'_Rito-kun is sensitive and would probably take that badly… And I can't exactly blame him…' _She slumped slightly.

'_Should I say something?' _Rito bit his lip nervously. _'I mean if she is hurting over Naruto… Maybe I should tell her my feelings…'_

Rito's Imagination

"Seriously?" Haruna glared at him. "After I have gone through boy trouble you try and ask me out?! You're the worst! I never want to see you again!"

End Imagination.

'_Argh! I couldn't live if she told me that! But she did say that she had a crush on me…' _

Rito's Imagination

"Even after I've already told you my feelings… You say that you forgot me doing it? Do you care so little for me?! I never want to see you again!"

End Imagination

'_ARGH!' _Rito mentally cried in frustration. _'No matter what I do I will be screwed! Damn it all to hell!'_

Unbeknownst to the two love troubled teens, Maron had woken up from a brief nap and could sense the tension in the room. The small dog glanced at the two nervous teens and nodded to itself.

'_Mistress Haruna seems down! I'd best give her a full body lick to cheer her up!' _The dog pounced happily on Haruna taking her by surprise.

"Maron?!" Haruna cried out in alarm as the dog carried out its devastating licking attack, leaving Haruna squealing and writhing.

"S-Sarenji?!" Rito went red as the dog buried its head beneath her skirt. _'What a lucky dog! I mean er… I should do something!' _He ran over to her and tugged at Maron.

'_What? The strange boy is trying to stop me from cheering up mistress! I do say I shall not stand for this outrage!' _Maron narrowed his eyes and grabbed Haruna's panties to try and hold on to Haruna as Rito tugged.

"Yuuki-kun!" Haruna squeaked. "D-don't…"

"Got you!" Rito gave a last tug of effort and fell over backwards, Maron in his lap with a pair of panties is the dogs mouth. "O-Oh," Rito went bright red as he failed to avert his eyes from Haruna's exposed lower regions.

"N-No!" She slapped Rito and ran into her room.

"I… I upset Haruna…" Rito could barely feel the stinging in his cheek over the depression that was filling his soul.

"What the hell?" Akiho walked into the room to find Rito holding Maron in an arm lock and a pair of panties on Rito's lap.

"Er…" Rito started panicking.

"You've got to the count of three," Akiho smiled darkly.

"What do you mean?"

"One." She reached for a baseball bat.

Rito was out of the door before she even got to two.

"Good riddance," Akiho smirked. "Oh wait… I was supposed to be using that little perv to get Naruto jealous! Damn it!" She face-palmed as her phone started to ring. "Hello? Oh hi Yuu. Oh right… Sorry something's come up and I can't meet up with you tonight. A perv has tried assaulting my little sister. No, no she's fine. There's no need for you to come over. I think she just needs some time with her big sister. That's fine. I thought you were staying out of town tonight. Oh they cancelled? That sucks. I've got to go, I'll talk to you later," Akiho hung up. "What to do…" She mumbled to herself. "What to do…"

* * *

"Damn, this place is impressive!" Kushina whistled in appreciation as she walked into the ballroom with Naruto. She was wearing an expensive looking Opera dress from her secret stash of outfits that included a dominatrix outfit and what looked like a fox costume (To which Kushina had merely said 'Just in case you were into that furry stuff').

"Try and show some class eh?" Naruto smirked at her as he adjusted his tie. He was wearing a black suit with a bright orange tie.

"Hey! I'm classy as hell," Kushina pouted as the two walked through the hallway of the manner. "Hehehe…"

"What is it?"

"Just thinking, this is kind of like a date isn't it?" Kushina smiled at Naruto.

"I guess," Naruto chuckled. "But a date that is probably going to end in a fight. I've got a bad feeling." He pleased expression was at odds with his words.

"Try not to sound so pleased," Kushina chuckled.

"Eh?" Naruto looked embarrassed. "Sorry. I don't know what is with me lately."

"Momo explained that as your seal opens more and more, you'll become more primal. At least unless you become the Omega or whatever it is she seems to think you will become."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "I promised my mother I'd become one and save her from herself."

"Oh? When was this?"

"I believe you were unconscious having just had your unborn baby stolen from you." He frowned softly.

"Ah…" Kushina frowned. "I see…"

"Chin up," Naruto smiled. "Lala has some of the best scouts in the galaxy looking for clues for her. I'm sure we will find Mito-chan in no time."

"But haven't those scouts been searching for a while? And the galaxy is such a big place."

"I have faith," Naruto smiled.

"Heh," Kushina smiled slightly as the two walked up to a man stood at a podium.

"Invitations please." He droned in a nasally voice.

"Here you go," Naruto handed the tickets over.

"You must be the charity cases then?" He droned before reading the names. "Ah! Namikaze-sama… I apologise I didn't know…"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto smirked at the man's discomfort.

"Allow me to introduce you," The man lead them to the main ballroom. "Introducing: The Heir of the Namikaze Legacy; Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze and his guest… Kushina Uzumaki."

The room full of dignitaries suddenly paused as Naruto stepped into the room and he realised this was probably his first official event as the Namikaze heir. He could see calculating mothers staring at him and calculating a way to get a hold of his fortune by marry off their daughters to him.

"Well by jove eh what!" A loud cheerful voice boomed out and a large gentlemen wearing a bright red military uniform walked over to him. He had a full white beard with the most impressive moustache Naruto had seen. In short he was the very picture of an old British officer. "Minato's little sprog in the flesh!" He laughed heartily and shook Naruto's hand. "By jove what a grip my boy. What a grip! Ah where are my manners my boy? Sir Edmond Chartleson Senior at your service!"

"Naruto," Naruto shook the portly man's hand.

"I must say…" Edmond twisted his moustache. "I have to say it is dashing to see you. Tell me my boy… Have you any updates on that wonderful literature that your company has rights for?"

"Eh?" Naruto paused, "Oh you mean Jiraiya's…"

"Yes, yes." The laughing man took a pipe from his jacket and started smoking it. "I must say I enjoy a little bit of a fine literature every now and again. I heard that there may even be a moving pictures adaptation say what?"

"I believe so," Naruto nodded.

"Fantastic old boy!" Edmond paused. "Ah but I see quite a few young fillies want to get to know the new colt in the paddock say what? It was a pleasure." He bowed slightly. "Tell Jiraiya 'Jolly Ed says hi,' will you, boy?"

"Of course." Naruto nodded as the eccentric man wandered off to a group of ladies with a hearty laugh.

"Well…" Kushina blinked. "He was a character."

"Indeed," Naruto laughed weakly as he and Kushina made their way over to Saki and her followers. She seemed to be in deep discussion with an elderly gentleman with Rin hovering next to her. Aya was at the buffet talking to someone her own age who appeared to be interested in her, judging by his love-struck gaze, although Aya seemed more focused on the spread available on the buffet.

"Ah Naruto!" Saki's eyes brightened. "I'm sorry," She turned to the person she was talking to, "I am sure my father would be most interested in your proposal, if you would excuse me," She quickly broke away from the elderly gentlemen she was talking to. "I am pleased you could make it. You do look quite dashing in a suit."

"Why thank you," Naruto smiled. "And you look amazing."

"You flatterer," Saki covered her slight blush with a small collapsible fan. She was wearing a dark green dress with a high thigh cut, showing off her impressive legs. Her ample cleavage was exaggerated yet still seemed to look classy and her hair was held up by several pins in a traditional Japanese style. "I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

"Only the beautiful ones," Naruto smiled. "Speaking of which," He glanced at Rin who had a faint blush on her face. "It's kind of nice to see you in something like that."

"I am thankful for your kind words," Rin coughed awkwardly. Her dress was an elegant off the shoulder black dress. "This outfit has been designed to offer the maximum protection and mobility to allow me to defend Saki-sama whilst ensuring that I do not stand out."

"Well its failing there," Naruto chuckled. "You and Saki stand out like a sore thumb with how beautiful you are right now."

"My, my," Kushina crossed her arms. "Trying to make me jealous?"

"Haha," Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Before I forget…" He leaned close to Saki to whisper in her ear. "I have a bad feeling that someone is going to try something. Maybe the same person who sent Yugito."

"You worry too much," Saki laughed. "But if it makes you happy I shall stand beside Rin the entire event. Between you and Rin-chan… I should be pretty safe no?"

"Right." Naruto nodded.

"Ah! Lady Tenjouin! Such a delight as always!"

"Huh?" Naruto turned to face a young, pale skinned individual. The man in question had vaguely amber eyes that were slightly slitted and was looking at Saki in a way that made the hairs on the back of Naruto's neck start to rise.

"I am glad you were able to make," He took her hand a kissed it.

"Ah Hebi-san," Saki smiled. "I would never miss one of your events."

"I don't believe we have met…" Hebi turned to Naruto who forced a pleasant smile onto his face.

"Naruto Namikaze," Naruto offered a hand and Hebi shook it.

"A pleasure," Hebi bowed. "I heard that Tenjouin-chan had plans to invite you and have to admit I am most curious to hear all about you. You seem to have suddenly sprung out of nowhere."

"Ah, I was living under a different name until I was old enough to assume responsibility for the family assets," Naruto explained.

"Ah that would explain it," Hebi clapped his hands. "So has Tenjouin-san explained my charity to you at all?"

"I have heard a brief overview…" Naruto started.

"Ah let me explain then," Hebi put an arm around Naruto and walked away with him, leaving a bemused Kushina, Saki and Rin to watch him get dragged away. "As a local, you have no doubt seen the number of delinquents in this area?"

"Yes," Naruto briefly thought of the Panthers. "There was that gang that used to hang around here. The Panthers I think they were called."

"Ah yes, such sorry cases," Hebi sighed sadly. "Youths who have been abandoned by society and feel the only way they can be acknowledged is by causing a fuss. It is such a sad set of affairs." Hebi wiped a tear from his eyes. "Which is why a good chunk of my Charity's work is to help get them off the streets and into jobs. I have been having quite a lot of success lately as you may have noticed."

"I had noticed they had vanished all of a sudden." Naruto admitted. "But with it being so sudden I was sure they were planning something."

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings." Hebi stated calmly. "Once I have targeted a problem I deal with it." He clicked his fingers. "Like that. But even my enthusiasm is not enough to run such a charity by itself and that is where the donors come in. Tenjouin-chan and her father were kind enough to lend me this venue and provide entertainment to bring awareness to my charity and for that I am infinitely grateful."

"Well it certainly seems like a good idea." Naruto nodded.

"I am glad you agree!" The two of them went outside and Naruto frowned as Hebi waxed lyrical about his charity. Whilst his words weren't coming across as lies, Naruto had the strangest feelings that he was hiding something. There was something about the man that felt wrong to Naruto. "Ah I do apologise," Hebi glanced at his watch. "We have been talking for so long… Your beautiful female company are probably missing you as we speak."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled weakly. "I should get back to them."

"Of course, of course." Hebi nodded eagerly. "I look forward to any donations you may choose to give. Not that I am trying to force you to donate." He laughed cheerfully. "Although I do have several projects that are a little expensive and struggling for funds… For example, I have a small orphanage project… here," He pulled out a picture of a young blonde haired girl. "Here's one of the young girls who got adopted from my orphanage. She was such a cheerful little girl and I really hope she is living a good life right now."

"Right," Naruto laughed weakly as Hebi continued to talk his ear off. _'Maybe I'm imagining things. He does seem keen on improving the situation for children. Still I can't quite shake this feeling something is going to happen and this guy is going to play a part in it.' _

* * *

"Introducing, Lady Risa Momioka and her guest, Yui Kotegawa."

"Thank you," Yui bowed politely as she entered the ballroom. "Are we late?" She noticed how busy the ballroom was. She subconsciously tugged the bosom of her dress to cover more of her cleavage. The tight fitting white dress was slightly too shameless for her tastes, despite all members of the family saying it was perfectly classy. Lala's mom even offered to cut the leg so she could have 'a little sex appeal to seal the deal.'

"We are fashionably late," Risa remarked as she calmly strolled towards the buffet table. She was wearing a dark blue dress that had a thigh cut so high it was basically only covering one of her legs. "This isn't my first event so stick close to me. The old perverts are all undressing you with their eyes so just tune them out. They are relatively harmless despite their hungry eyes. The ones you want to watch out for are the young, rich males. They'll probably see you as a target to be conquered."

"W-what?"

"Don't worry," Risa smiled. "I don't see many youths except that white haired one over there."

"Yeah," Yui frowned. "Say Risa?"

"Yes?"

"Do you get a bad feeling when you look at that youth?"

"Hm?" Risa paused in her exploration of the buffet table to look at him. "Now that you mention it he does seemed to have a focused look, kind of like he is scanning for hostiles or something. Maybe he is someone's bodyguard."

"Hm…." Yui idly played with a bracelet that Lala had given her. In an emergency it would teleport her home (Well Naruto's house and stark naked but Lala had left that bit out) but she still felt uncomfortable.

"Relax," Risa handed her a drink. "Naruto is here and he can deal with pretty much anything."

"R-right," Yui nodded as she sipped the drink.

"Hey look its Saki and Kushina," Risa made a beeline to the group, Yui sticking close.

"Ah welcome," Saki smiled. "I am afraid Naruto has just been kidnapped by the Charity founder. You just missed him."

"With any luck we won't see him again," A maid grumbled as she walked by with a tray of starters.

"Now, now Hanabi-chan," Saki took a small bite to eat from the tray. "Try and lighten up. This is a party after all."

"As a maid of the Tenjouin it is my duty to perform to the best of my skills." Saki remarked calmly.

"Hey there," A drained looking Naruto walked in.

"Ah, I see you were a victim to Hebi-san's enthusiasm." Saki hid her smile behind a fan.

"He is definitely passionate about things." Naruto reached out to take a snack from the tray Hanabi was carrying but the sullen maid deftly avoided his grasp. "Er… Can I have a snack?"

"This is not a 'snack'." Hanabi rolled her eyes. "They are called an 'Hors d'oeuvre'."

"Now, now Hanabi-chan," Saki smiled innocently. "It isn't his fault he is uncultured."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "Wait what?"

Saki giggled behind her fan.

"Oh ha ha," Naruto grumbled. "For your information, I can play a pretty convincing upper class butler."

"He does," Yui nodded.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Kushina blinked and stared at Naruto. "You've been playing butler and mistress with Yui-chan?! Damn it, I really wanted to do that role play."

"Really?" Saki smiled.

"It isn't like that," Naruto chuckled. "You see Yui and I worked in a maid café."

"Oh right," Kushina calmed down. "I see… That'd be my mother's place right?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Oh this I have to see," Saki smiled.

"Well maybe one day I'll be your butler for the day," Naruto offered.

"That would be fun," Saki clapped her hands together.

"It would be a pleasure to work alongside you," Rin bowed her head softly.

"Would I have seniority?" Hanabi asked.

"But of course."

"Hehehehehe…." Hanabi darkly chuckled.

"Should that worry me?" Naruto glanced at Saki who merely smiled and waved a hand dismissively.

"Her bark is worse than her bite." Saki assured him.

Suddenly there was the sound of buzzing and swarms of bees burst through the windows, showering those inside with glass and causing them to scream in fear and start to flee out of the room.

"Oh my!" Hebi ran up to the group, "I would advise we all leave as…" Before he could finish Naruto had pushed him to the floor and a large bone spear passed through what would have been Hebi's heart until he was knocked out of the way.

"We meet again," A bored voice intoned.

"Kimimaro…" Naruto narrowed his eyes at the pale haired youth walking towards them. Beside him stood a woman with brown hair and wearing an expensive looking Kimono with bees coming from the sleeves. "I see you brought a friend this time?"

"Oh is this the pipsqueak you met on Manda's ship?" The girl smirked.

"Don't let his appearance deceive you Suzumebachi. He is somewhat competent. He was able to keep up with me at level one." Kimimaro remarked.

"Well," Suzumebachi smirked as the room emptied of all but Naruto's group and Hebi. "It looks like we don't have to worry about civilian casualties anymore."

"Yui, Risa, Kushina," Naruto stood in front of them. "Fall back and get Hebi-san out of here."

"R-right," Risa nodded and activated the bracelet to summon the crystalline battle suit.

"You still have that?" Yui blinked.

"You mean you gave yours back?!" Risa looked shocked. "Why?"

"Enough of that ladies," Kushina grinned as a frail blue aura surrounded her. "I might not be at full Arcangus power but even in this state I can lend some support."

"Saki-sama," Rin drew her sword from underneath her dress, "I would advise that you follow Uzumaki-san away."

"Understood," Saki bit her lip. "Be careful you three."

"I would not disgrace the Tenjouin name by losing to such ruffians." Hanabi assured.

The four girls lead the worried Hebi away from the empty ballroom, where Hanabi, Naruto and Rin prepared to fight.

"Oh do the humans think they can stop us?" Suzumebachi laughed.

"Humans?" Hanabi reached under her maid's outfit and pulled out two desert eagles. "What are you if not human?"

"Honey, we have long since surpassed the weakling species of humanity." She started to gesture with her hands and the bees followed her every move. "Now my little babies… End these nuisances!"

"Tch," Hanabi scowled as he unleashed a barrage of bullets that punched holes in the mass of advancing bees but failed to slow their advance.

"Let me get that for you," Naruto closed his eyes. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and mine is the Crest of Raphael!" There was an explosion of blue energy that sent the swarms hurtling backwards and back to a bemused looking Suzumebachi.

"Oh hoh, that is an interesting little trick there honey." She took in his ghostly armoured form with six angelic wings lazily fluttering behind him.

"My name is Rin Kujou and mine is the crest of Gabriella." Rin let out a breath of air as a ghostly blue kimono surrounded her, six regal wings wrapping around her body. "And I will defend lady Saki."

"Before we kick your asses," Naruto stretched out. "Why are you after Saki? And why did you try to kill Hebi?"

"Hebi is stealing away recruits that could join Orochimaru-sama's forces." Kimimaro replied bluntly. "That is unacceptable."

"Plus money doesn't grow on trees honey," Suzumebachi held out a hand and a single bee landed on her palm. "And turning weak humans into powerful beings such as us isn't cheap."

"I see," Naruto smirked. "Well then… let's dance then."

"An apt choice of words," Kimimaro remarked as he summoned a sword of bone from his arm.

"I'll take the swordsman," Rin smiled slightly.

"You always did like to test your sword skills," Naruto sighed. "Fine I guess that means Hanabi and I get the bug lady."

"I am the Queen Bee!" Suzumebachi angrily retorted.

"I shall ensure Lady Saki's survival," Hanabi turned to leave. "I have no desire to fight alongside you."

"Er… Okay?" Naruto blinked as Hanabi walked away.

"Stop ignoring me!" Suzumebachi growled.

"Kaze Yari!" Naruto plucked a feather from his wings and crushed it in his palm, before pointing his palm at the Queen Bee, launching the spear of wind at her, only for it to pass through her. "An afterimage?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Die!" Suzumebachi appeared behind Naruto who leaned out of the way of her attack.

"W-what? How did you keep up with me?"

"You are incredible slow." Naruto remarked lazily.

"How… How dare you?!" Suzumebachi sent a swarm of bees at Naruto who simply scattered them with a flap of his wings.

"Seriously? Is this the limit of your power," Naruto frowned, "Why not just surrender?"

"Don't look down on me!" Suzumebachi summoned her bees to form a protective sphere around her.

"Kaze Yari!" Naruto launched spear after spear into the bee shield, only managing to punch a hole for a fraction of a second before more bees strengthened the gap. "Dai Kaze Yari!" Naruto plucked two feathers this time, launching a much greater blast of wind that carved a trench towards the shield of bees and managed to completely scatter the bees and send Suzumebachi hurting backwards through the ball room.

"It looks like it's two on one now," Rin remarked as she met blades with Kimimaro, who katana drawing sparks as it grinded against his bone sword.

"I wouldn't count Suzumebachi out just yet, after all we are both fighting at level one." Kimimaro broke the sword deadlock by kicking Rin in the stomach who rolled backwards and swiftly parried his graceful attacks.

"Well I say," Edmond peered from behind a table he was hiding behind. "That boy there… He is using his bones to fight! Like some sort of sword… or a saber… A bone saber…" He stroked his mustache. "Or for short… A boner!" He nodded. "Yes… He really knows how to use his boner!"

* * *

"What the hell?" Risa scowled as she punched through a strange robot, her crystalline power bikini as she had taken to calling it, was starting to fade out as it ran out of power. No sooner had they left the main ball room than these strange robotic minions started to swarm them.

"Sha!" Kushina roared as her energy coated fist struck a robot with a small explosion causing it to spin down the corridor, crashing into some more of the robots and detonating furiously. "How wants some?!" She held her arms in front of her face as a robot launched a blast of energy that sent her skidding backwards. "That all you got?" Kushina taunted.

"Please stop agitating the robots," Yui remarked as she and Saki hid behind a bench.

"I'm out!" Risa cried as her suit deactivated. "Damn it!" She dived behind the same bench as Yui and Saki.

"They are after me," Saki bit her lip, "If I give myself up…"

"No!" Kushina shook her head, "I got this!" She channeled what little aura she had left after losing her Arcangus and released it in a beam of energy. "Kami no Hikari! (A/N: Divine Beam)" The entire hallway was flooded by blue light as the bright beam surged down the corridor, almost blinding the girls who were forced to close their eyes. "Ha… Ha…" Kushina panted as the beam finally died down. "Still got it."

The corridor was a mess, sparking chunks of robots littered it, along with the fragments of expensive pottery and the sad remains of what were probably masterpieces, painted by some artist who was probably dead but Kushina couldn't care less about art. Sure it was nice to look at but if it was between a painting and her family's life she wouldn't hesitate to beat someone to death with the Mona Lisa.

"Amazing." Hebi stepped from behind a statue. "Such power… You truly are an impressive specimen I see why Namikaze-san kept you around."

"Minato and I were in an arranged marriage," Kushina remarked.

"Minato?"

"Oh right… Naruto's using his dad's name. Forgot about that." Kushina laughed weakly. "Well I can say it isn't for my power that he keeps me around."

"But what a power it is."

"Eh?" The panting Kushina turned. "It's Hebi-san right? You can stop looking at me like that. Only Naruto can have that hunger in his eyes when he is talking to me."

"Ah, my apologies." Hebi's eyes suddenly returned to their usual compassionate yet slightly unnerving appearance. "It appears that I owe you my life."

"Meh," Kushina rubbed the back of her head. "That was nothing."

"Er… Could you do it again then?" Yui asked.

"Why do you… oh…" Kushina's shoulders slumped as another squad of robots started to clunk towards them. Unlike the previous ones, these had much thicker armour. "Well… I kind of put everything I had into that last attack so… Plan B?" Before Saki could offer to surrender again there was a gun shot and the lead of the armoured robots stumbled as its head was blasted clean off, but this didn't stop its advance.

"For the record Saki-sama," Hanabi walked up to them, a still smoking sniper rifle in her hands. "I blame the Uzu… I mean Namikaze for this." She pulled a lever back ejecting the spent round cartridge before aiming again and firing, the rifle round penetrating the center of the robot's chassis this time, causing it to fall limp.

"Whoever wants you Saki, has a lot of power." Risa remarked.

"That's Saki-sama to you," Hanabi retorted before firing another round that took out two of the robots. "Collateral," She smirked to herself. "The minimum skill required of a Tenjouin maid."

"Seriously? Do you require your maid's to have marksman skills?" Risa glanced at Saki.

"Hanabi-chan always does go above and beyond," Saki smiled weakly as her maid tossed the rifle aside, having exhausted its ammunition. She reached into her stockings and pulled out two Uzis and unleashed a barrage of bullets on the slowly advancing robots.

"Where does she get all these weapons?" Kushina asked.

"Honestly? I've always been a little scared to ask," Saki admitted.

"Tch," Hanabi tossed aside the guns as the last of robots fell in two sparking piles. "Are you unharmed Saki-sama?"

"I am fine." Saki sighed. "I am grateful that I have such a skilled and loyal staff."

"I would gladly lay down my life for you Saki-sama." Hanabi bowed softly. _'Oh lay on top of you to keep you warm… Or maybe some other things that could happen…' _

The group walked up to the large doors leading to the exit of the manor only for the doors to suddenly shake as if it had been struck with great force.

"Please not be a giant robot," Yui whimpered.

The door splintered open and a familiar figure charged through, a female covered in soft blue fur and a cat ears and tail as well as the same maid uniform as Hanabi. No sooner had the creature burst through the door that the fur had vanished and a blonde maid was kneeling before them and a small army of butlers and maids formed behind her and a worried looking Aya shortly behind them.

"Yugito," Hanabi nodded at the kneeling maid.

"We arrived as quickly as we could." Yugito stated.

"Saki," Kushina glanced at the blonde heiress. "Is it just me or does your entire staff fail to understand the difference between a maid and a mercenary."

"…Hanabi trained them." Saki laughed weakly.

"Well," Hebi smiled. "It appears that the danger has passed. I must thank you for your assistance."

"Not at all," Saki bowed her head. "I can only apologise that the venues protection wasn't enough to prevent such an occurrence."

"Not at all," Hebi flashed a quick glance at Kushina who was bemoaning the damage to her dress. "After all I saw something very interesting…"

* * *

"Damn you are annoying!" Naruto rolled away as a barrage of stings struck the floor where he had been but an instant before. Shortly after he had knocked her through a wall, she had returned looking like some sort of bee/human hybrid that was far faster and stronger. She had hit Naruto out of the building and away from Rin, who he was worried about but was sure that she would be fine. She was a better swordsman than him and she had the power of an Arcangus on her side.

"I'm sorry honey~ I just really want to penetrate you~" Suzumebachi cackled as she hovered in the air, two bug like antennae twitched with laughs. Six transparent wings hummed behind her and her skin was covered in a yellow and black chitin armour across her bust and legs. A large bee stinger protruded from her rear, although she occasionally pointed it at Naruto to launch the sharp stinger towards him, which seemed to instantly regrow. "My level two form is probably a little too much for you to handle no?"

"Where's a giant can of bug spray when you need one?" Naruto launched several Kaze Yari at her, scowling as the chitin armour seemed to protect Suzumebachi. "Fine I guess I'll get serious. Shoten X2!" The ghostly chain mail solidified around him.

**'**_**Hey. So me and Raph have been… busy. What's happening? Are you fighting a bee monster girl? I'm pretty sure I saw this scene in an eroge I was playing."** _Asmodea voice sounded from within Naruto.

'_I… Wait a minute, how can you play eroge in my head?!' _

'_Ah… I showed Asma-chan how to view things in your mind since she showed me a few things…' _

** '_Hehehe…' _ **

**'**_Not going to ask.' _Naruto blinked.

"You know we don't have to fight honey~" Suzumebachi stroked her chin with her black chitin covered fingers. "You are quite an interesting case and Orochimaru-sama loves interesting cases~"

"Sorry but I don't see that happening." Naruto chuckled.

"A shame~" She buzzed whilst linking her fingers. "We could have had such fun." She seemed to flicker out of existence and appear behind Naruto, charging towards him intending to impale him but he looked over his shoulder directly at her, causing her to suddenly retreat. "W-what?"

"Aren't you going to attack?" Naruto asked.

"H-how can you keep up with me?!" Suzumebachi hissed. "You are a human!"

"The jury is out on that one," Naruto admitted as he turned around to face the queen bee. "How about you just give up and save me some trouble?"

"I cannot betray Orochimaru-sama. Even if it costs me my life." Suzumebachi remarked.

"What if I told you there is an alternative?" Naruto offered. "Yugito found out that life with Saki is far better to live with Orochimaru and I know Saki would love to have you on her side."

"Hah~" Suzumebachi shook her head. "That would be fun right~ But unfortunately Yugi-chan ruined it for all of us honey~"

"How do you mean?" She adjusted her hair to show her neck where a black collar appeared to be physically implanted into her neck. "What…"

"This collar is wired into my very nervous system~ With a single word Orochimaru-sama can cause my heart to stop or my brain to be overloaded with pain~" Despite her cheerful voice, her eyes were full of sadness. "Since Yugi-chan left Orochimaru wanted to make sure that no-one else could."

"I see," Naruto bit his lip. "But I know alien geniuses… they could…"

"Sorry~" Suzumebachi stuck her tongue out. "But I knew the cost when I agreed to this transformation honey~"

"I see," Naruto nodded. "Can't you just leave?"

"Orochimaru said come back with Saki or come back dead~"

"And this guy has your loyalty?" Naruto growled.

"My father… He was an abusive man. Orochimaru-sama save me from him." Suzumebachi remarked. "All Orochimaru-sama wants is my loyalty."

"I see this is going to get us nowhere," Naruto sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry honey?" Suzumebachi blinked as the Naruto she was staring at vanished only to appear at her side and punch her hard, causing her to cry out and crash through the gardens of the Mansion, the chitin plate on her cheek badly cracked where Naruto had struck her.

"I won't…" She barely had time to register the blow before Naruto appeared behind her and stopped her crashing through the undergrowth by kicking her hard at the floor, leaving her stuck in the floor unconscious.

"I can't just leave this alone," Naruto sighed as he watched the chitin armour fade away, leaving the slightly bruised girl in a badly torn kimono. He took his jacket off and covered her in it before calling Mikado. "Hey Mikado-sensei I have a favour to ask."

"You want me to try and remove the collar on that girl right? Don't worry I set off as soon as you heard her sob story."

"I… Momo's got her drones on me doesn't she?"

"Yes."

"Fair enough," Naruto sighed. "How are the other girls doing?"

"They are safe but Rin is still fighting."

"Right," Naruto nodded. "I'll go and help her."

"Right." Naruto hung up and glanced at the unconscious girl. "Stay strong Queen Bee, Mikado will save you and if Orochimaru comes after you…" He cracked his knuckles "I'll mess him up!"

* * *

"I must admit," Kimimaro took a step back, panting lightly. "You are truly a graceful fighter."

"You too," Rin took a moment to adjust her hair out of her eyes before raising her guard again.

"I can only imagine the perfection you would be if Orochimaru-sama was able to work on you."

"Work on me?"

"My lord seeks to improve humanity by taking us to the next stage of our evolution. With your already divine form and skills, you would become true perfection."

"And how would he do that?" Rin asked cautiously as the two circled each other, waiting for an opening.

"By adding alien DNA to your own," Kimimaro's bone saber idly drawing circles in the air, daring Rin to try and attack. "Human DNA is surprisingly adaptable to alien genetics. The survival rate is 60% for such a procedure but one as perfect as you would have no issues surviving. Maybe some sort of swan alien would match your grace."

"Are you trying to get me to lower my guard with your empty flattery?" Rin narrowed her eyes.

"These are not empty compliments." Kimimaro stated. "You form and skill are truly a sight to behold. You waste such talents protecting an heiress."

"I am not protecting an heiress," Rin replied testily. "I am protecting one of my most valued friends."

"To see someone perfect so deluded by this imperfect world…" Kimimaro tightened his grip on the bone blade. "Truly makes me regret what I must do. But my orders are absolute. Any hindrances to Orochimaru-sama's plans must be eliminated."

"Then it appears that the time for talking is over." Rin and Kimimaro attacked at the same time, their blades meeting in a shower of sparks but Rin was expecting the attack and allowed herself to be pushed backwards, flipping backwards and kicking Kimimaro in the jaw and flipping him back. Whilst he was still airborne, Rin quickly slashed him with her sword, striking him with three lightning fast blows and one heavy strike that was aimed at the swordsman's neck.

"Not so fast!" Kimimaro roared as bones started to protrude around his body like full body plate mail, causing Rin's katana to bounce off the collar and then be shattered by an armour covered fist.

"W-what?" Rin leapt back as Kimimaro's bone sword started to disconnect into several segments joined by a thin flexible bone, allowing the blade to act as a whip.

"This is where our fight ends." Kimimaro whipped the blade around in a whirlwind of death, ripping up the floor and narrowly missing a desperately evading Rin until she slipped and the blade found its target, scoring a deep cut on her leg and a small cry of pain from the black haired swordswoman.

"Damn it," Rin channeled her aura to her leg to speed up recovery but the wound was a deep one.

"I told you earlier," Kimimaro remarked. "That I was only fighting at level one. This is Level two. This is the sort of power that you could have."

"I don't need you stolen power," Rin scowled. "When my power isn't enough… I know my friends and allies will lend me theirs!"

"Why can you not see the true path forward?" Kimimaro remarked. "Humanity as it is, is doomed to die out. We must adapt and surpass our original forms. As it stands you are wounded and unarmed against a superior target. Your only options are to die or surrender."

"There is a third option," Rin smiled.

"And that is?"

"Have faith in my friends!" Rin yelled out as a strange sword hilt soared through the air and into her hands before igniting a bright blue blade that looked vaguely like a katana blade. "Thank you Naruto-san."

"No worries," Naruto leaned against the wall. "If you need my help…"

"Thank you but no," Rin narrowed her eyes as she held the Arcangus blade in an aggressive stance, "He has attacked Saki-sama… the person I am sworn to protect. Some things I must do myself."

"As you wish," Naruto narrowed his eyes and bit his lip. Whilst he didn't want Rin to get hurt he also knew she was very proud. It would be best not to step in unless he absolutely had to.

"If you must continue this pointless resistance and deny the true perfection that you could be, then it will be a mercy to kill you." Kimimaro lashed out with his blade whip forcing Rin to quickly deflect the attacks.

"I can't die here." Rin charged through the whip's assault, the blade a constant trail of blue energy as she deflected the attacks and closed the distance.

"An imperfect being such as yourself would never stand a chance to defeat me. Just allow me to take you to my master so you can fulfil your potential rather than wasting it!"

"Wasting my potential?!" Rin grabbed the bone whip and ignored the biting pain as the whip dug into her hand.

"You allow yourself to be dragged down to their level." Kimimaro glared at Naruto who was clenching his fists at the sight of Rin bleeding. "Maybe if I were to kill the blondes you would see sense!"

"… I can forgive many things." Rin pulled on the whip causing Kimimaro to stagger forwards. "BUT THREATENING SAKI-SAMA WILL NEVER BE TOLERATED!" She hit Kimimaro hard in the chest with a powerful slash, causing his armour to crack and the sword to flicker out of existence as she fell to her knees. "It appears… That I have much training to do when it comes to Gabriella's powers." She looked up only to freeze as a wounded Kimimaro stepped from the smoke of her attack.

"So much potential," Kimimaro stepped forward as chunks of his armour fell away. "Such a shame that it must be snuffed out here." He lashed out at Rin but Naruto grabbed the blade.

"Maybe you should cut your losses and get the hell out of here." Naruto growled as he crushed the bone weapon in his grasp, standing between Rin and Kimimaro, aware of the former's current weakened state. "Or do you want me to put you six feet under?"

"Such a primitive being," Kimimaro scoffed. "You have gotten stronger since the last time we fought but I am still superior."

"Funny I seem to remember me handing your ass to you."

Kimimaro put a finger up to his ear. "…I understand. It appears you have gotten lucky. Next time I will kill you." He turned his gaze to Rin, "And I pray you reconsider." He disappeared in a flash of light.

"What a jack ass," Naruto tossed the ruined bone aside before he ran over to a tired looking Rin. "You alright?"

He started to rip his shirt to bandage her hand.

"Ah," Rin smiled softly. "I am sorry. I imagine that you would have been able to resolve things faster but when it comes to matters involving Saki-sama's safety."

"I understand." Naruto smiled. "You want me to get in the Kyuubi and see if I can find a ship that beamed him up?"

"No…" Rin looked at where her assailant had been stood. "Saki-sama's safety comes first. We should check in with her first."

"You sure?" Naruto raised his eyebrow. "He might come back."

"He probably will." Rin looked at Naruto's caring eyes. "But if you chase after him he may lead you into a trap. There is no telling how many of those modified humans this Orochimaru has."

"Point taken," Naruto frowned uneasily. "I still don't feel great about you and Saki being in your mansion tonight. I think you should stay at my place, at least until this whole Orochimaru thing blows over. Lala has built so many defences into it that it could hold of an entire army if needed."

"I will have to see if Saki-sama agrees." Rin glanced at Naruto and laid her head against his shoulder. "Thank you."

"Eh?" "For letting me fight him. I know you do not like seeing people hurt. Although I had enough in me to dodge that attack."

"I don't take chances with the lives of my precious people." Naruto smiled. "I hope you can forgive me."

"We shall see." Rin smiled.

"For what it's worth," Naruto coughed awkwardly. "All that talk about perfection and that? I don't think you need to change. You are the perfect Rin right now."

"Thanks." Rin smiled happily as she saw a worried Saki run up and fuss over her. Aya hovered behind her and out of the corner of her eye she saw a worried Yui doing the same with Naruto. The two shared a look and a slight grin.

"Well I say," Edmond coughed awkwardly as he crept from behind a table and pulled out a phone. "I say Jiraiya old sport? Are you there? Well it looks like you were right old chap. That Rin girl definitely has it as does your boy. I'll do what I can with the council. Maybe after they hear about now your boy crushed the other lad's boner they'll… What? Yes he did! He gripped his boner and crushed it before tossing it aside. That's right the swordsman fled after he had his boner crushed. What do you mean by that?" Edmond hung up with a confused expression. "Oh well. The Council are going to have a field day with this eh what?"

* * *

Omake: Yui's First Time (**INNOCENT LEMON)**

Naruto looked around the hallway as Yui ushered him into her house. They had walked Saki, Rin and Aya back to his house, before he took Yui back to her house. The others were apparently having some sort of party with two of Mikan's friends. A clumsy girl called Mio who seemed to be the female version of Rito with the amount of time she spent tripping into other people, usually with somewhat ecchi results. Yami was actively trying to keep the clumsy girl away from Mikan. There was also a girl called Ayumi who had merely bared he neck at him and told him she was ready to be converted. Judging from Mikan's sigh, this was not that unusual from Ayumi and after finding out she was Kenichi's younger sister, Naruto decided strange delusions must run in the family. At least the sister hadn't started a semi-religion about him.

"So…" Naruto looked around awkwardly. "This is your house?"

"Y-yes," Yui mumbled as they entered the house.

"And your brother and parents are out of town?"

"They should be," Yui nodded as she and Naruto took their shoes off and walked into the main living room.

"Man it was a crazy day eh?" Naruto laughed weakly as the two sat down on opposite chairs in the living room. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes I'm fine," Yui nodded. "I'm the one that should be concerned."

"Meh, that bee girl wasn't a threat to me," Naruto assured her.

"I know… But I still worry." Yui looked at Naruto then quickly looked away. She suddenly became very aware that it was just her and him in the house and no-one would be coming. She felt very self-conscious, especially considering the fact that Naruto was here to share her bed with her. She went bright red at the thought and couldn't look at Naruto.

"Are you alright?"

"Eep!" She jumped back when Naruto put his hand on her forehead. "Ah… Sorry."

"If you don't want to be alone with me I could leave or maybe call Lala and…"

"No!" Yui cried out. "I mean… I don't want you to leave and it isn't that I don't want to… you know." She blushed. "It's just… well…"

"I get it," Naruto nodded.

"Do… Do you want something to drink?" Yui offered.

"I'm fine." Naruto smiled and the two fell into an awkward silence. "So… What are your family up to?"

"Oh er… My mother and father are supposed to be getting a plane to go to a police conference and my brother was meeting up with some old friends a few towns over. He was planning to spend the week there."

"Oh. What time are your parent's due back?"

"Some time later tomorrow."

"So you'll be alone all tomorrow?" Naruto frowned. "You know we will always welcome you at my house."

"I know." Yui fidgeted slightly. "But I…"

"Yes?" "I don't want you to get fed up of seeing me." She admitted only to scowl as Naruto burst out in tears of laughter.

"Sorry," Naruto coughed. "It's just… You do realise that Lala spends 90% of her waking time around me? And you think I would get fed up of you if I saw you a couple extra hours a day?"

"But…" Yui mumbled. "Lala is so happy and interesting whilst I'm…"

"Everyone is different and interesting in their own way." Naruto reassured her. "You shouldn't feel inferior to Lala."

"But she is… well the 'first'."

"First?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know this but, all of us in the family, we kind of have our little hierarchy." Yui looked embarrassed admitting this. "Kind of a way of stopping any potential fights before they start you know? From the beginning Lala makes it clear just where we stand."

"Which is?"

"Below her."

"You are all equals," Naruto assured her. "Regardless of what Lala thinks."

"You try telling her that." Yui chuckled. "Besides it works. She has the last say on anything involving the family. It's to stop us dragging you into all of our fights. Lala doesn't want you to feel like you have to take sides. So like I said she is the first. The Empress, whatever you want to call her."

"Well… You were the first girl _I _added to the family if it counts for anything." Naruto offered.

"R-really?" Yui looked at him. "I know Risa says I was but I figured she was just poking fun at Lala."

"Lala decided I was going to date her," Naruto counted off on his fingers, "Same for Kushina and Momo. Risa… well that was unexpected. Same with Mikado, still not sure how that happened." He laughed weakly. "I probably sound really shameless now don't I?"

"At least you notice it," Yui smiled as she stood up. "I… Well… It is getting late isn't it?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Well…"

"Do you want me to join you?" Naruto asked.

"I…" Yui found herself unable to talk and merely nodded, leading Naruto up to her room. She could barely hear anything over the frantic beating of her own heart, which is unfortunate because if she could, she might have heard her phone vibrating on the table with a text from her brother. However, the Romantic Comedy Gods had realised they had been slacking at their jobs lately so in reality… there was no way they would pass up a chance like this. Yui paused outside her room.

"W-wait here!" She quickly nipped inside and turned the light on, making sure her room was clean before realising something. Her room was incredibly girly. It had a pale pink wallpaper with stuffed toy cats on her bed. _'Naruto is used to girls who are really mature and sexual!' _Yui bit her lip. _'What if he thinks I am really childish when he sees me room?' _She quickly hid all of her teddies in her wardrobe and made sure all of her dirty laundry was in a wash basket before opening the door and letting Naruto in. "W-welcome," She smiled uneasily as she let the first male she wasn't related to into her room.

"It's so neat and tidy, as I'd expect of you." Naruto chuckled.

"T-Thanks," Yui mumbled as she walked over to her bed. _'I… I don't know what to do now?! Do I get in bed and ask him to join me or maybe there is some sort of etiquette to the whole thing? I haven't even showered!' _"Er… Do you want to wait here whilst I get a shower?" Yui asked.

"Sure," Naruto smiled as Yui bobbed her head and quickly left the room. He took the moment to take a casual sniff of himself. "Heh, considering I had a fight I am quite dry. Lala's deodorant is really affective, not that I should be surprised by the I suppose." He walked around the room, trying not to think of the fact that Yui was next door in a shower. He could hear the water running and could imagine the water trailing down her body. _'Wait a minute… Was Yui letting me know that she was getting a shower because she wanted me to join her in there? But she did ask if I wanted to wait here… Maybe that was a hint! I should have said that I needed a shower too! Gah! I need to remember that Yui isn't as confident as Lala, Momo, Kushina, Risa, Mikado… Wow… I know a lot of very forward girls. Never really noticed that until now.' _

**'**_**Well given your inability to realise you have a harem, failing to see something slightly less obvious isn't that shocking**.'_ '

_Thanks for the Pep talk.' _

**'**_**You should totally join her in the shower.'** _

'_You think so?'_

**'_Wait… Are you actually listening to me? I… I always knew this day would come! Okay what you do first is get her in the sixty nine position to warm things up then break her in with the standard missionary position. Follow that up with a Rowing Boat just to get some face to face loving. After she's all warmed up, maybe try 'The Bridge' although you might not be flexible enough for that. Maybe the 'Prone Tiger' or 'The Deckchair'.'_**

'_I don't even know what most of those are.'_

** '_Read a Karma Sutra why don't you? Hell with all your lovers sex is going to get pretty boring if you don't get a little freaky. I'm not talking about the real messed up stuff either! You've got plenty of time to get bored of the slightly kinky before we think about that.'_**

'_I personally prefer the waterfall. But I agree that you should totally join her in the shower.' _

"Right," Naruto got up to head out of the room, only to realise that the door was opening and a towel clad Yui was entering the room.

"Er… Hi…" Yui was unable to make eye contact. "W-would you… like a shower too?"

"Er… sure." Naruto laughed. "I am a bit sweaty."

"R-right!" Yui nodded as she sat on the desk in her towel. _'Maybe I should get dressed… or maybe I should offer to wash his back! Yes that sounds like a plan. Okay… there is nothing shameless about this Kotegawa! You are merely providing your boyfriend with a back rub. It's all perfectly natural!' _ She walked up to the bathroom and cautiously pushed open the door. She could see Naruto's outline in the shower. _'Here goes nothing.' _"S-say Naruto?"

"Yes?" Naruto called out.

"D-d-do you w-want your b-back washing?" Yui stammered.

"I… I would like that." Naruto nodded.

"R-right." Yui took a deep breath and opened the shower door to see Naruto's back. "I… I can do this." She picked up a bottle of shower gel and put it on her hands, lathering her hands up and gently rubbing Naruto's back. "Is… Is that good?"

"Y-yeah." Naruto nodded. Emboldened by her success, she allowed her towel to fall away and pushed her breasts into Naruto's back.

"Y-Yui?!" Naruto was taken aback by her forwardness.

"I… I'm just washing your back," Yui mumbled. "Nothing shameless!"

"Right," Naruto closed his eyes as he felt her breasts rubbing into his back. He could feel her nipples clearly which in turn triggered Naruto Junior to rise from his slumber.

"Am I… Am I doing this right?" Yui asked.

"You are doing amazing." Naruto assured her.

"T-thanks," Yui took a deep breath and pushed her breasts against his back as she reached around him, rubbing his stomach and slowly reaching down.

"Yui?"

"I… Is this okay?" She whispered into his ear.

"I am fine with almost anything," Naruto assured her.

"R-right." Yui closed her eyes as she reached down and grabbed his shaft, gently running her hands up and down as her other hand massaged his testicles. "Is this nice?"

"Yui…" Naruto gasped her name.

"Muttering my name in such a shameless voice," Yui mumbled, her cheeks aflame.

"I can't help it," Naruto smiled as she eeped. "I'm guessing my tail has realised you are here."

"Naruto," She gasped as his extra appendage started to tease her lower lips and idly flick her clitoris. Part of her was telling her that this was shameless but a new part of her was saying it was natural, that her relationship with Naruto was just evolving beyond purely spiritual. She pulled away and span Naruto around, before taking his member between her breasts.

"Yui…"

"I have to finish cleaning you, it is my duty as your girlfriend to make sure you are looked after," Yui took her breasts and enveloped his member, using her hands to squeeze her breasts against his twitching length as she ran her breasts up and down the shaft. She saw a twitch and a strange transparent liquid started to ooze from Excalibur. She licked it cautiously, finding the flavour strange but not entirely unpleasant.

"Yui…" Naruto repeated in a gasp as his tail started to wrap gently around her neck, urging her to take him into her mouth. She allowed his member to pop free of her breasts and the hot shower to wash away the suds from her cleaning before taking his tip into her mouth and gently running her tongue around it. "How are you this good?"

"Books," She admitted as she paused in her ministrations. "I… I know you have a bit of experience so I didn't want to disappoint you." Before Naruto could respond she started her work in earnest, slowly taking more and more of Naruto's impressive length into her mouth until she felt uncomfortable, then pulling back before repeating, gradually increasing in her speed. She could feel his tail around her head, pushing and pulling her gently to give her a rhythm to aspire to, as if his body was telling her the ideal way to please him without him saying a word. Naruto watched as the water ran down her face, taking in her expression as she sucked on his twitching desire. For such a pure person to have such an erotic expression was turning Naruto on more than he could have thought possible. He was starting to feel his berserker sex drive kick and a burning in his testes told him he was nearing his limit.

"Yui… I'm coming…"

"It's okay." She ran her hands up and down his length

"Y-Yui!" Naruto gasped as his tail pulled her back onto Naruto junior, just as he hit his limit and sent his release into her mouth with Yui swallowed quickly until she was released by his tail.

"That tasted foul," Yui remarked as she coughed,

"Sorry."

"But… It was Naruto's so… I could get used to it." Yui stood up and hugged Naruto, who returned the gesture with his erect member rubbing against her secret garden. "We… We are going to go all the way aren't we?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Naruto assured her.

"Let's go back to my room," Yui suggested as they stepped out of the shower and made their way to her room. As they stepped into the room Yui turned to face him. "I… I have only one request."

"Of course." Naruto smiled as Yui opened a draw and pulled out a condom. "I… I know you can sort of switch off your fertility," Yui muttered, "And I know you aren't carrying any STDs but…"

"It's okay," Naruto assured her. "I'm not offended."

"T-thanks for being understanding," Yui smiled weakly. "Do… Do you want me to put it on?"

"Sure, I would like that."

"R-right…" She pointed to the bed. "Please lay down." Naruto followed her request as she sat on his chest, carefully removing the condom from its packaging.

'_I never took you as a selfish lover…'_

**'_I know, disappointing isn't it? Despite receiving oral sex from his lover he never gave it back…'_ **

Naruto rolled his eyes and grabbed Yui's legs, pulling her over towards his head.

"No!" Yui squeaked. "D-don't look!"

"It's beautiful," Naruto assured her as he ran his fingers around her pink flower. "I wonder what it tastes like."

"N-No!" Yui squeaked as Naruto's tongue probed her glistening entrance. "It's dirty…"

"You've just showered," Naruto whispered as he felt the sweet smell of her arousal fill his nose. "And nothing about you could ever be dirty."

"Naruto!" She gasped as he continued her assault on her nether lips, his tongue exploring her most secret place as she squirmed with pleasure, whilst trying to put the condom on. Putting it in her mouth she returned Naruto's oral treat, rolling the condom down as she ministered to his desires. The two became a writhing collection of limbs and obscene slurping noises mixed with erotic gasps and moans as Naruto tongue probed deeper and Yui took more and more of Naruto into her mouth until she felt her gag reflex about to kick in and quickly sat up on Naruto's face, grinding against his face and gasping in pleasure whilst stroking his rock solid cock. With a gasp she shuddered as if an electric shock had travelled through her fingers, leaving her seeing stars for a few moments. '_That… Was so much better than when I used my fingers…' _Yui thought to herself before managing to move her legs and squatting over Naruto's sheathed sword, the purple condom looking unnatural yet strangely reassuring to Yui. She rested her maidenhood against the tip of his penis, getting used to the feeling before slowly lowering herself onto him, biting her lip as she felt her inner walls parting and her hymen giving way to his lust. She continued until he was fully within her and sat still, her hands intertwined with Naruto's.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

"I… I'm a little sore," Yui winced as she tried to move. "S-Sorry. I don't think I can move…"

"That's fine," Naruto assured you and released her hands, massaging her hips. "You are doing fine." "T-thanks," She smiled as Naruto raised his hands to her breasts and began to tease them.

"Ah~"

"I always thought you had such a sexy body," Naruto teased her nipples, marvelling at the cute noises he was extracting from Yui. "Even when you were scolding me I found you sexy… Though that might be because I am some sort of sexual deviant I suppose," Naruto mumbled as he felt every little movement Yui made thanks to the vice lip grip her vagina had on his manhood.

"I'm… I'm going to try moving…" Yui gasped as she raised her hips, feeling her recently stretched walls start to contract before slowly lowering herself, getting used to the strange sensations that were travelling her body. The pain was barely noticeable at this point and she was growing in confidence so she sped up, bouncing up and down on Naruto's cock. Naruto watched as the moral guardian of the school rode him, her breasts bouncing and their bodies making an erotic song as they clashed, her excitement mixing with her lost innocence making obscene art amongst the purple background of the sheath forming a barrier between him and Yui, although admittedly a very thin one.

"Yui!" Naruto growled as his tailed wrapped firmly around her waist and lifted her before slamming her down onto Naruto with an immoral slapping noise and a strangled gasp of pain and pleasure from Yui as her breasts continued to rise and fall with her own bouncing movements, assisted as she was by his tail.

"Damn…" Naruto grabbed her hips and thrusted in time with her bounces, each time earning a depraved gasp from Yui.

"So… deep…" She gasped. "I sound so shameless…" She whined as Naruto suddenly reversed their positions, laid atop of Yui with her legs resting on his shoulders. "No… you can see everything…" She moaned sweetly as Naruto pulled out before slamming back in inside, Yui leaning back and groaning as each thrust sent a new wave of pleasure through her body.

"I want to see everything," Naruto growled as he picked up his pace.

"N-No!" Yui gasped.

"Don't fight it…" Naruto whispered. "Let yourself come."

"But… I'll become a shameless girl…" Yui gasped.

"No… You are my girlfriend Yui… It is not shameless to enjoy my physical affections."

"I… I can't hold it back!" Yui's inner walls grasped Naruto, "I'M COMING!"

"Me too!" Naruto grabbed her tightly as he climaxed with her. The surge of his release was too much for the condom, which burst causing a surprised gasp from Yui as she felt the heat of his release spreading through her womb.

"It… It broke…" Yui mumbled.

"S-sorry." Naruto blinked awkwardly.

Yui hugged him. "It's… It's okay. I'm not mad."

"Are you okay?"

"Still feel a little strange." Yui snuggled into his chest. "But… I'm glad. Do you…"

"Do I?"

"Do you want to have another go?" She sat atop him with an adorable blush.

"Well…"

"We're home Yui-chan," The door to her room opened and there was an awkward silence.

"M-mom?!" Yui grabbed the covers and covered her and Naruto.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-what?!" Sasami Kotegawa gasped and blinked. "S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sex?!"

"Who is it honey?" Yui's father walked in after his wife. "Oh… Er… Hi Yui-chan. I take it you didn't get the text Yuu-kun sent?" Yui hid under the duvet, tears of embarrassment in her eyes.

"What's going on?" Yuu walked in, "Hey sis and… Naruto?"

"Hi," Naruto waved weakly.

"I hope you kids used protection." Yuu laughed as he and his father escorted her shell shocked mother out of the room.

"You… You'd better marry her!" Sasami managed.

"I fully intend to," Naruto assured her.

"G-good!"

"This is not how I pictured this moment," Yui mumbled into Naruto's chest.

"I can ask Lala how the time machine is going if you'd like." Naruto hugged Yui's naked body against his own. "Or I could teleport us aboard the Kyuubi… where we could continue undisturbed."

Yui gave the slightest of nods. "I don't want this to be what I remember tonight for."

Naruto smiled. "It won't. I promise you that Yui-chan." He kissed her softly.

* * *

**Omake: Rin' Desires (DREAM LEMON -DOMINANT NARUTO, SUBMISSIVE RIN. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)**

"My lord!" Two samurai ran into the main throne room and kneeled down before the throne in which Naruto was sat in looking thoughtful, dressed in a kimono with a sword laid across his lap."My liege!"

"Speak Saruyama-san." Naruto looked down at the two kneeling men.

"A great evil rises in the west. The Emperor has requested that you lend your armies to the coalition."

"I see," Naruto stood up and dismissed the two soldiers and walked through the hallways of his castle in deep thought until he walked into a room where a young baby boy was gurgling happily, resting in the arms of a Kimono clad Saki. "My love."

"My husband," Saki smiled. "Your son is strong and healthy."

"That is good," Naruto stroked the child's head softly. "It is as we feared. The demon armies are rising once more."

"And you must go to fight them," Saki whispered softly.

"Indeed, it is my duty as the Daimyo of the Uzumaki Plains. Ours is a prosperous nation and the last bastion against the Dark Lands." Naruto stood up tall. "I will be taking my greatest Samurai and confronting this new threat. Be safe my love." He kissed Saki softly and left the room.

"Handmaiden." Saki turned to one of the two girls stood behind her.

"Milady?" Rin bowed her head and stepped forward.

"I have seen you practicing in the yard. Your skill with the blade is great." Saki glanced at Rin. "You fight with a purpose. May I ask what it is?"

"Milady?" Rin bowed her head. "I train so that I may one day be able to protect our lord."

"I suspected as much," Saki smiled softly. "You long for the touch of my husband."

"I…" Rin bowed her head. "It is my deepest shame."

"With your skills you can protect him." Saki stood up, her child in her arms. "I have a mission for you."

"Milady." "Disguise yourself as a man and follow my husband. Protect him."

"With my life." Rin bowed her head.

"And your reward…" Saki stared out of a window. "You may warm his bed at night."

"B-but Saki-dono!" Rin fell to her knees. "To lay with my lord… I… I am not worthy of the honour. He barely even notices me."

"Silly child," Saki chuckled. "It is he who first saw you training and watches you religiously because he is unaware that I know he is watching. He desires you and whilst I am his bride, a mighty warlord such as my beloved should have concubines. Now go…"

Rin didn't need telling twice. She cut her hair and bound her chest, disguising herself as a samurai. She marched amongst her brothers at arms, earning not even a second glance from her beloved Lord as he rode amongst them on his horse. Three days they marched until Naruto's force of 600 trained Samurai and 1000 Peasant soldiers arrived at the fortress at the Edge of the Light, the last citadel of civilisation before the Dark Lands, usually manned by a force of four hundred of the finest the Uzumaki had to offer.

"It has been many an age since I was here," Naruto remarked as he dismounted, his bodyguards quickly checking his armour and weapons.

"I remember the last battle here my lord."

"Is that so Zastin?" Naruto turned to the oldest soldier amongst his battle guard.

"I was but a rookie when the last Dark army arose."

"Then we shall have an expert to aide us," Naruto nodded and entered the keep.

"Alright then!" Zastin turned to the samurai, Rin amongst them. "We spend time in shifts. Here are your assignments!" He walked amongst the samurai issuing positions and a small squad of peasants to lead. "You are… Ranma?" Zastin paused in front of Rin. "You have been assigned protection of his lordship. This is a great honour. Prove yourself worthy of it."

"Of course," Rin bowed and spoke as deep as she could to hide her gender.

"Very well." Zastin continued marching amongst the others yelling orders as Rin made her way to the Lord's quarters, kneeling before the paper door and coughing awkwardly.

"Ah, my bodyguard has arrived? Enter." Naruto's voice called out.

"My lord." Rin entered the room and felt the breath leave her body. Naruto was laid in a wooden tub full of warm water, his naked body on display. His eyes were closed and he seemed completely relaxed.

"Your voice sounds vaguely familiar to me," Naruto lazily opened one eye. "Yet I have no recollection of a Ranma in my services."

"I am new my lord."

"Hm…" Naruto beckoned her towards the bath. "You seem ill at ease."

"It is an honour to be guarding your body my lord." Rin swallowed deeply as she saw his firm abs and the many scars of battle across his arms.

"Is that so?" Naruto chuckled as he got out of the bath. "Dry me off."

"My lord?"

"That was not a request."

"Ah…" Rin gulped as she walked over to a small pile of towels, picking them up and careful drying Naruto's body. She could feel him through the towel and found herself wanting more.

"I can assure you that my chest is quite dry now," Naruto chuckled. "I must admit… You seem a little too interested in my body"

"Ah… That is…"

"Fear not," Naruto raised a hand. "I bear no grudges against those of your sexuality. The Uzumaki are a clan of freedom after all. So long as you wield a sword well then you may fight amongst our warriors."

"Even if I were a woman?"

"War is not a place for a woman." Naruto remarked as Rin dried of his arms. "Regardless of their skill with blade… defeat for a man is death, for a woman it could be a fate worse than death."

"But what if the woman knew this and believed the possibility of rape did not outweigh the guarantee of being in her lord's presence?"

"What woman would think such a thing?" Naruto asked. "Even my beloved would not chance being defiled by another man in order to protect me."

"Then maybe… Maybe this woman might harbour a stronger love for you?"

"Are we still speaking in the realm of possibilities here?" Naruto asked uncertainly.

"I…" Rin removed her helmet. "Do you recognise me my lord?"

"You are one of Saki's handmaidens… The sword mistress." Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You should not be here!"

"I promised milady I would defend you…"

"And should you fall or worse be captured?!" Naruto grabbed her by the arms. "I will have you sent back immediately."

"I can fight for you my lord." Rin bowed before him, head touching the floor. "I have watched you in combat, in peace and in debate. You are a shining light that fills my breast with hope and courage. If you were to fall… I would not be able to live."

"Do not speak such words," Naruto lifted her chin up. "Your life is separate to mine."

"You may believe that my lord." Rin shook her head. "But both Saki-dono and I… we live for your sake. If there were any cost to be paid to ensure your health I would pay it without hesitation. If you have no need of me then at least allow me the honour of Seppuku my liege."

"No!" Naruto dragged her to her feet. "I will not have your blood spilt here. No honeyed words will convince me."

"Then maybe some action will," Rin drew her katana. "Allow me to show you that I can fight!"

"You fool!" Naruto grabbed his sword from the stand and the two met blades met is a fierce clash of steel. "I have no doubts in your skill! It is I who will suffer!"

"My lord?"

"If you were to fight amongst the men… I would not be able to focus on the battle plan. I would worry after you."

"I am but a single samurai."

"You… You are far more than that," Naruto sheathed his sword and roughly kissed Rin who moaned as she felt his hands working around her armour. Her hands ran down his chest, revelling in the sensation of his naked flesh, the heat that seemed to radiate from him filled her and she felt an unfamiliar burning in her loins.

"My lord…" She gasped.

"I… I watched you practice every night…" He whispered as he roughly removed her armour, revealing her bound breasts. "The moonlight shining on your beautiful pale skin." The bindings were torn apart and Naruto massaged her impressive bust and kissed her fiercely. "I wanted it." He growled possessively.

"My lord… all I have is yours." Rin stepped back and removed all her armour until she stood naked before her Daimyo. "Use me as you please."

"I intend to," Naruto growled as he started to suckle on her breasts whilst his finger slipped inside her tight inner walls.

"My lord," Rin gasped.

"You are still a maiden?" Naruto laid kissed down her chest until he reached her maiden's head.

"Only you ever stoked the flame of desire within my loins."

"I see," Naruto nuzzled against her clitoris before attacking her with his tongue, teasing her lower lips before slipping into her folds, savouring the sweet taste of her excitement. Unable to stop herself, Rin raked her fingers through Naruto's scalp, letting out erotic gasps as Naruto's assault on her womanhood. When he finally pulled away, a thin trail of her juices forming a link between her lord's lusty leer.

"My lord…" Rin gasped.

"Funny," Naruto circled her and embraced her from behind, nibbling her ear whilst one hand continued to massage her breast and the other slipped two fingers deep within her, gently stretching her inner walls. "Your body is so different from Saki's yet you respond so similarly."

"If my body pleases my lord," Rin was interrupted by her own body shuddering as Naruto found a sweat spot in her inner walls.

"It does," Naruto nipped her gently on her neck, his erection rubbing between her thighs.

"Then use me as you will," Rin kissed his on the lift, not once caring about the strange taste of her own excitement as their tongues duelled.

"Under one condition," Naruto growled. "You are to stand beside me at all times."

"As my lord, your orders are absolute."

"Then I order you to bend over that desk," Naruto watched as Rin walked over to the desk without question and leaned over it, showing her eager womanhood which Naruto rubbed the tip of his penis against, allowing Rin to get accustomed to the feeling before grabbing her and roughly thrusting deep within her. Rin bit her lip to stop herself crying out in pain. It felt as if she was going to be torn in half as her inner walls were forced apart by Naruto's dick. She could feel him pushing against her womb.

"Amazing…" Naruto grunted. "It has been a long time since I've made a woman of a virgin." He massaged her rear as he watched the blood from her ruined hymen. "It hurts no?"

"I can bear it."

"You needn't suffer in silence," Naruto leaned forward, causing a grimace from Rin as he moved within her. "Saki had a few… choice words for me during and after our first time." He continued to play with her breasts and grunted as he slowly started to move.

"Ah," Rin gasped in a mixture of pleasure and pain as Naruto's member started to plough in and out, hitting against her womb and remoulding her body into his own personal toy. Each thrust made her mind go a little hazier and the pain far less noticeable over the rapidly increasing pleasure. "Harder…"

"Oh?" Naruto grinned. "You want it rough? Well this is a welcome difference. Saki was always much more of a cuddler. How do you like this?" He pulled her hair causing her to arch back with a cry of pleasure and pain. "Do you like being dominated like this? Is this why you came to war? To be dominated by enemy soldiers?"

"No! Only by you my lord!" Rin cried out ecstatically as Naruto grew rougher, each thrust felt as it was going to penetrate her womb. "My body… I'm going crazy…"

"Rin…" Naruto released her hair and she fell onto the table, her tongue lolling out and her eyes rolling under the intense pleasure now surging through every core of her body. He gripped her ass and starting thrusting like a man possessed, only acting to satisfy his burning urge to fill Rin with his seed. "I'm coming!"

"Me too!" Rin's eyes rolled up as he entire body vibrated with her climax, her entire mind wiped off every thought except the sheer pleasure and satisfaction of being taken by her lord. Her walls clamped down on his member and desperately milked him of his seed, which Naruto was only too happy to provide, unleashing his climax directly into Rin's womb, filling her up. "So… much…" Rin gasped as she felt an intense heat spread throughout her body. Her last thought before blacking out was one of satisfaction, of a lifelong desire finally achieved. She was vaguely aware of Naruto picking her up and walking over to his bed and mumbling sweet nothing as they fell to sleep. She woke up to see everyone running around madly and quickly donned her armour.

"Where is my lord?" She grabbed a passer-by.

"You mean you haven't heard?" The samurai, a Yuuki if Rin remember right, looked worried.

"Heard what? Where are most of the men?"

"The demons attacked in the night." Rito bowed his head. "Our Lordship was quick to rouse, gathering as many as he could to face off against the demon horde. They were outnumbered and charged into the middle of the horde and managed to repel them but…"

"But what?"

"But those damn Devil Hunters swooped in and stole the glory of killing the demon lord!" An irritated and bandaged Naruto entered the room. "Damn that Gid!"

"My lord," Rin let out a sigh of relief. "The battle is over?"

"It wasn't even a full demon uprising since we nipped it in the bud pretty early." Naruto sulked.

"Maybe… when we return to the castle… Lady Saki and I can find a way to improve your mood?"

"…That might work," Naruto grinned. "In fact I was hoping you would suggest something like that."

"I swear I take my eyes off you for one moment," Saki entered the room.

"Milady!"

"Please, call me sister." Saki hugged her left arm as Naruto took her right one.

"Let's have a little fun now." Naruto growled possessively.

* * *

"…Wow…" Momo blinked as she looked at the screen."That is…" She glanced at Mikado and Kushina who were blinking, looking as stunned as her.

"Well we know the sweat dream tablets work," Mikado laughed weakly.

"And the dream viewer," Kushina added.

"But damn," Momo chuckled. "Maybe after a dream like that Rin-chan will want to stay here with us full time. How about the others?"

"Well," Mikado flicked through a set of screens. "Lala seems to be having a happy dream about family life with Naruto, Nana is… well enjoying some alone time with Naruto it would seem."

"Sex?"

"They are at a zoo." Mikado replied evasively.

"What about the other test subjects?"

"Hanabi… She has a strange love-hate thing with Naruto and an idolisation of Saki that is leading to an interesting dream where Naruto is a demon and Saki is an angel. Aya's dream is pretty boring and Risa's is surprisingly cute. She's on a date with Naruto. Mikan's dream is her being older than Naruto? Not sure what is going on there. Some light flirting but mostly innocent. Rito… Rito is dreaming that he is actually a super saiyan and is secretly stronger than Naruto. Our newest guest is having a dreamless sleep."

"I'm surprised they all agreed to this test," Kushina added.

"I may have forgotten to mention that we would be watching the dreams." Momo admitted.

"I've brought the drinks!" Oshizu walked into the small room with a tray of drinks.

"Thanks," Mikado took a drink. "How's the new body holding out?"

"It is pretty durable!" Oshizu smiled. "Durable enough to take this?" Mikado showed a screen to Oshizu that caused her head to explode, literally. "Oh I thought I'd fixed that." She glanced at the screen. "Oh… that wasn't supposed to show Rin-chan's dream. Oh well." Mikado smiled mischievously as the ghostly girl hovered above her destroyed body with a distant expression.


	28. Chapter 28: A Mile in her Shoes

`To Love Ruto

A/N: Sorry for the long delay in uploading this. I've been having a bit of difficulty lately trying to write (both finding time and actually writing once I have the time). For which I have had an idea.

* * *

-Competition Time-

I have decided to write a one-shot that is something different to what I usually write, to try and get myself back into the flow of things. What will this one shot be? Well that is up to you guys and gals to decide.

Just send me a PM with an idea and I will pick several and start a poll on my profile to decide which one I shall write.

Requirements: Can be about anything. Just no Yaoi. Doesn't need to be a Naruto story. If I haven't seen the anime I'll read a quick wikipedia summary to see if I'd like it and if it wins the poll I will actually watch it.

Once a plot line has been chosen I will (eventually) upload it and credit the person who suggested it as well as sending a copy to the winner (if requested) so they can upload it on their own account if they would prefer and they are free to either continue the one shot as their own story or whatever they want.

To enter either send me a PM or a message on Google+ (Just search for Drake Wilson). Don't submit a review to enter this 'competition', I can't guarantee that it will be considered.

Hopefully this will help shake me out of my current slump.

Also people who are wondering about through his eyes, I'm still none-the-wiser why it was taken down. At some point I will reupload it after making a few changes but given my current issues with writing TLR, I wouldn't hold my breath on that being any time soon.

-End of Non TLR Related Stuff-

* * *

Anyway enough about that. This chapter nears the end of the Orochimaru Arc and also introduces some Naruto characters for the next Arc. If you don't recognise them, they are from an anime only Arc that I haven't actually seen so they will be OOC. Someone suggested the idea to me but I can't find the PM (or review) that mentioned it so I apologise that I can't remember your name.

For those of you who are fed up with the Haruna stuff, after this arc it won't really be mentioned again and this arc only has a few more chapters in it so hang in there. The next arc has considerably less angst in it.

Advance warning: This chapter ends with a cliffhanger. You have been warned.

Thanks for reading and as always, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ruto.

* * *

**Chapter 28: A Mile in her shoes**

The door to the Uzumaki household creaked loudly, betraying Naruto's attempt to sneak inside without waking anyone up. It was four in the morning and he was just returning from another secret rendezvous with Yui. Whilst Yui was willing to admit to the others that her relationship with Naruto had become more intimate, she still preferred to keep their meetings a secret. Not that these secret meetings were going unnoticed but Yui appreciated the effort. Whilst he would never admit it, Naruto too enjoyed the 'danger' of the secret rendezvous whilst feeling satisfied in the knowledge he wasn't cheating on anyone. It was kind of the best of both worlds: a line of reasoning that Asmodea had been very proud of.

"Naruto!" Lala beamed at him as he entered the living room that was lit by candlelight.

"Lala?" Naruto smiled softly. "You're up late."

"Technically early," Lala corrected. "There is something I want to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Naruto looked around at the candles, "Are those for romantic purposes or are you about to tell me you've somehow broken the power to the house."

"Romantic of course!" Lala pouted, "Don't you have faith in my technical skills?"

"Of course I do," Naruto hugged her softly. "You are a genius after all."

"Right!" Lala leaned into the hug with a happy sigh.

"So…" Naruto released Lala, "What did you want to talk about?"

"You may notice I am getting a little larger…" Lala put her hand on her stomach. "And it might make me unattractive…"

"Nothing could make you less attractive to me...Er I mean you will always be beautiful in my eyes, not that you couldn't look less beautiful… I'm trying to say I love you." Naruto sighed.

"Someone's suffering from lack of sleep," Lala blushed slightly. "But even so… I want for us to bind before physical affection becomes complicated."

"Complicated?" Naruto chuckled.

"You might not want to make love to me because you might be worried about the twins."

"Why are your breasts tender?"

"Huh? Oh no!" Lala laughed, "I meant the twins!" She rubbed her belly.

"T-Twins?!" Naruto blinked.

"Oh? Didn't I tell you?" Lala blinked. "Mikado-chan checked me over and said that there were definitely two children." She looked worriedly at Naruto, "That… That won't be a problem will it?"

"No," Naruto reassured Lala, "It's just… Wow…" He chuckled weakly. "I wasn't sure if I would be able to raise one child right but two?"

"You'll be fine. You can always ask Papa for help!"

"Then do the complete opposite of what he says? Like hell I'm having my children married of to whoever wins a competition!"

"The suitor games only apply to the heir. Technically Momo and Nana are not part of the games but some people are still willing to fight you to try and claim them." Lala pointed out.

"Well… Wait a minute if the heir was male would there still be suitor games?"

"Of course." Lala nodded. "Only the women would be fighting over him rather than men fighting over me."

"Huh," Naruto frowned, "But what about the whole harem thing?"

"What about It? The heir is supposed to have a harem and the winner of the games is simply the husband. But don't worry!" Lala hugged him. "I only have eyes for you so I waived my right to have a harem!"

"I see," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "And there is no way to end that tradition?"

"Papa could but he would face a revolt. It is traditional."

"And millions of dead people can't be wrong, right?" Naruto sighed heavily.

"Don't worry! Megal-chan and Lodon-chan will have the best father looking out for them!"

"Megalodon…" Naruto groaned, "You haven't given up on naming our kids that have you?"

"Hehehe…" Lala beamed at him. "I think it sounds so cool!" She had stars in her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto shook his head.

"But we are getting off track!" Lala pointed at Naruto. "Bind with me!"

"I see…" Naruto smiled softly. "So tonight then?"

"Nope!" Lala beamed. "Here and now!"

"But the others might be waking up soon."

"They are all having really pleasant dreams thanks to my latest invention!" Lala looked proud of herself.

"Oh?" Naruto chuckled. "Well I'll need some time to recover from my… Enthusiastic walk in the park. I'll need a few hours to recharge and…"

Lala pulled a chord on her dress causing it to fall to her feet, revealing her naked form in the flickering candlelight.

"...And I'm good to go." Naruto chuckled.

* * *

When the sunlight filtered in through the curtains a groggy Naruto staggered to his feet and made his way to the shower, still feeling a little dazed from the Binding. For a brief instant he was one in more than just the physical way with Lala. It was if the two of them were the same entity just looking from different perspectives, which was kind of weird when they climaxed as Naruto felt both. It was kind of unnerving when your brain was receiving messages from a body part you did not in fact possess.

Naruto groggily reached for his toothbrush and began to wash his mouth, slightly concerned about the strange taste on his tongue that he had woken up with.

"That good huh?" Momo walked into the bathroom and started to brush her teeth, surprising Naruto by not offering to shower with him. He gave her a confused look but Momo didn't notice before she sauntered into the bedroom. "Looks like someone is tired. Yui must have really exhausted him last night."

Naruto shook his head and set the shower going, sighing happily as the warm water soothed his aches and pains.

"Naruto if you don't wake up I'm going to have to have my evil ways with you~"

"I'm awake," Naruto grumbled as he started to lather his breasts and… Naruto froze and looked down. "W-what?!"

"Is something wrong Onee-sama?" Nana walked into the bathroom.

"Eh?!" Naruto stared at a mirror to see a shocked Lala staring back at him.

"Onee-sama?" Nana ran up to him. "Are you okay?"

"Lala!" Naruto raced towards the bed where a tried looking Naruto yawned cutely.

"Morning!" Lala cheerfully announced from Naruto's body before staring at Naruto (who was in her body) and letting out a cheerful victory cry.

"Er…" Kushina blinked as Naruto's body dived at Lala and glomped her. "Is binding really that good?"

"Hehehehe," Lala snuggled into her own breasts. "So this is what It feels like! I see why you like playing with them so much!"

"Naruto?" Nana looked horrified.

"Yes?" Naruto (in Lala's body) turned to face Nana.

"Wait a second!" Momo blinked. "You've swapped bodies?!"

"I know!" Lala grinned.

"Is this common?" Naruto asked whilst trying to pry Lala (in his body) away from his (well technically her) breasts which were sending not unpleasant signals to his brain.

"Nope!" Lala happily straightened up. "It is very rare! It basically means we trust each other completely and offered no resistance to the binding process."

"I see," Naruto frowned. "Can we go back? Not that I don't like seeing your naked body but it is kind of weird seeing myself like this." He indicated his body which Lala was inhabiting, complete with a Lala-like cheerful grin and trusting eyes.

"Unfortunately it will take a few hours before…"

"Your lying," Naruto blinked. "Wait… How do I know that?"

"Seriously Onee-sama?" Momo sighed. "Did you forget that the two of you were linked."

"Linked?" Naruto frowned, the expression looking weird on Lala's face.

"When you bound to each other you kind of setup at network, using your tails as receivers." Momo explained. "You can pick up on each other's feelings and to some extent read each other's thoughts, although admittedly in a very limited fashion."

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "But why did you lie Lala-chan?"

"Sorry," Lala pouted cutely (or at least tried to but Naruto's body didn't really pull the look off), "I thought it would be a good experience to have a few hours in each other's shoes, so to speak. Plus, it would help you bond with your daughters!"

"My daughters?"

"Well probably daughters," Mikado remarked as she entered the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a croissant in the other. "Devilukians tend to have a 70% chance of giving birth to daughters and a 25% chance of giving birth to twins. I suppose the idea was if you had multiple women you only need one man to get them all pregnant and the Devilukian species was designed as a rapid growth army, if the records of the Arcangus and Damus are to be believed."

"Oh hey Mikado-sensei," Naruto glanced at her, "Going somewhere?"

"I've got a bit of medical emergency on my hands." Mikado smiled softly. "You guys may have time off of school until the whole 'Shower Room Video' incident is finally dealt with but I am still quite busy."

"Oh is there anything I can do?" Naruto offered.

"I'll wait until you're back in your own body." Mikado winked.

"I meant with your work."

"Oh no I'm fine." Mikado smiled. "Oshizu is helping me out and I think I have finally sorted out her artificial body. You should pay her a visit sometime."

"I'll try and make time." Naruto nodded.

"Well try not to get anyone else pregnant whilst I'm gone," Mikado joked as she left the room, happily sipping her coffee. "And no pretending to be Naruto to convince others to join the harem either."

"Muu…" Lala pouted.

"Seriously, please stop that." Nana grimaced. "It looks so wrong when it is Naruto's body making that face."

"Yeah," Naruto scowled as picked up a towel to cover Lala's body.

"That expression on Ane-ue is just as wrong!" Nana rubbed her temples. "Just change back please."

"So I suppose you want to change back?" Lala sighed softly.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded but was interrupted by a flash of light.

"Zastin?" Kushina blinked as the guard appeared.

"There is no time to explain!" Zastin grabbed Naruto (In Lala's body), "Come Hime-sama!"

"But I'm not…" Naruto started before the two were whisked away in a flash of light.

"Strange, that guy gets lost when getting milk but has access to a teleporter. Couldn't he just use that instead?" Kushina remarked.

"Zastin gets badly motion sick from using a teleporter so he only uses them in an emergency," Nana glanced at Lala as if waiting for an explanation.

"Well that happened," Momo remarked. "Care to explain Onee-sama?"

"Hmm…" Lala looked thoughtful. "I guess it could have something to do with the Suitor Games. There was supposed to be an official meeting today but it was hosted by one of father's friends who is single and tends to flip at the slightest mention of love etc."

"And she's hosting a meeting about all the people who want to marry you? Man talk about a bloodbath in the making." Momo shivered.

"Official meeting?" Kushina asked.

"Hai," Lala nodded happily. "Every so often I have to attend official events. Fortunately, Zastin and Mama have been able to explain my absence at all of the events since I moved in with Naruto. I guess they want proof I am still alive."

"Instead they got Naruto in your body? So…" Momo glanced at a calendar on the wall. "How long did the peace last for this time? A good eighteen years or so right? That's got to be a record for the Empire."

"Naruto isn't going to start a war!" Lala pouted. "He isn't that socially inept!"

"How about when some creepy alien tries to hit on you (well technically him but you get the idea)."

"...I think it is a new record," Lala admitted.

* * *

"But I…" Naruto tried for the hundredth time to convince Zastin that he was in fact Naruto in Lala's body. Every time he tried to say something Zastin cut him off. He had spent the last fifteen minutes being squeezed into a tight corset that made Lala's already impressive cleavage appear larger without actually crushing her stomach, so the twins would at least be unharmed. They had then put her in a billowing dress, to hide the baby bump (which to be fair was barely noticeable) one of the maids had explained. Naruto had tried to say they could just use Peke (who was feeling rather neglected at late since Lala wore normal clothes in the event of Naruto deciding that she looked better naked after a training session) but the maids just tutted and continued their work.

Naruto was then led by Zastin down a corridor lined with devilukian guards, all carrying ornamental looking halberds and strange bracelets on their wrists. Naruto wondered why they bothered with halberds when Lala assured him they all could fire energy blasts from their hands.

"I know you dislike spending time away from Naruto-dono but really, this is important," Zastin remarked. "You know how much of a pain the Lady is."

"The Lady?" Naruto frowned.

"Oh I get it," Zastin sighed tiredly. "You are pretending that you have bound with Naruto and swapped bodies with him to try and get out of the meeting."

"I'm not pretending," Naruto sighed heavily.

"A most convincing performance," Zastin smiled at him, "For a second it was almost as if Naruto-dono was with us but we both know that is a myth. As much as you may want it to be true, a love so pure that the two freely swap bodies just doesn't exist outside those books Nana-hime reads. Even the more… risqué ones..." Zastin muttered under his breath.

"What books that Nana reads?"

"Er… Forget I said anything." Zastin coughed awkwardly.

"How about if I tell you something that only Naruto would know?" Naruto offered.

"You gave yourself up when you referred to him as Naruto rather than I." Zastin looked pleased that he had outwitted Lala.

"Zastin you are an idiot." Naruto shook his head. "So who is this Lady then?"

"Very well I will play along Lala-sama," Zastin remarked. "Lady Terumi is one of the five great families of Deviluke. She is the one who offers the most financial backing to your father. She is a beautiful woman but has an… intense personality that deters anyone from seeking her favour and is worried that she will never find a husband, so make sure not to talk about Naruto in front of her. You always go all happy and dreamy which will probably piss her off, if you will excuse my language."

"Er sure?" Naruto blinked. _'Man… I hope I don't accidentally start a war.'_

'_**Go on… Murder a few people. They were asking for it (probably).' **_Rather than the silky smooth voice of Asmodea, Naruto was answered by a voice that brought fire and destruction to mind. _**'They dare to interrupt your time with something as trivial as this?! Slaughter them all for daring to dictate what a princess should do!"**_

'_You are not Asmodea.'_

'_**And you are not the sickly sweet princess. I am Satalin! Wrath incarnate! Do not mistake me for that whore!'**_

'_Well aren't you all sunshine and rainbows."_

"_**Wait a minute… You are the Seed. The one the princess likes… This is good. There is no way you can go through this entire event without starting a fight! Go forth and vent my fury!'**_

"We are here Lala-sama, remember to constantly tell Terumi-sama how pretty she is. She likes that." Zastin paused as they approached a door that looked as if it was chiselled from ebony in the style of a beautiful siren, beckoning them towards it. "Here we go." Zastin mumbled as he pushed open the doors. "Introducing the Heir of the Devilukian empire, Daughter of the High Priestess of the Charmian People and future master of all she surveys… Lala Satalin Deviluke the Third!"

'_The third?' _Naruto thought aloud as he stepped into the room.

'_**Lala the First was a bloodthirsty empress who reigned for about twenty five minutes before she was assassinated and isn't usually classed as an an empress. Lala the Second killed herself rather than go through the Suitor games. Kind of funny that there was a Damus Princess, the last of her kind, called Lalana Satale. She got executed by the Arcangus after they lost their heir, Naraku Arashi. The even funnier thing is how much you look like Naraku and she looks like Lalana. Your names are even kind of similar. Freaky huh?'**_

'_You are surprisingly helpful.'_

'_**I did you a favour now you do one for me and punch someone in the face.'**_

'_Maybe later.' _Naruto stepped into the room, feeling awkward wearing a dress and heels and even more so when the babble of chatter fell silent and everyone turned to look at him and kneel before him. He had wondered how he was finding it so easy to move in the heels but Satalin made an offhand remark about it being in Lala's muscle memory, so Naruto just let it go. Knowing how to walk in ridiculously high heels was the least concerning thing about this whole situation to Naruto right now.

"Lady Lala, it is an honour!" A woman walked towards her, through the bowing masses. She had beautiful red hair that covered one of her eyes and a very curvy figure. She kneeled at his feet kissing his (Well Lala's) hand. "I am glad you could attend my little event. You have been so hard to get a hold of lately."

"Lady Terumi," Naruto smiled weakly, "I am glad to see that the rumours of your beauty fail to fully describe you."

"Why thank you and you may call me Mei, Lala-sama." Mei stood up and the other guests took suit, all talking again whilst keeping an eye on the conversation between Naruto and Mei. "I must admit it is nice seeing such a lovely array of handsome men, shame they are all here for you though."

"I am sure that anyone of them would be honoured to be the recipient of your advances," Naruto tried his best to sound diplomatic.

"Oh you are just so cute," Mei sighed happily and escorted Naruto through the crowds to the table where a buffet was set up. "So I hear that the games are looking to go on for some time. It must be nice to have so many young and handsome men fighting over you. It must take a load off of your mind when it comes to your love life."

"I would imagine you are too young to be worrying about that," Naruto tried diplomacy. "I know that I wouldn't feel safe if you were near my fiancé."

"Oh?" Mei's eye light up, "You think this secret lover of yours would stray?"

"If he witnessed your attractiveness."

"Oh my!" Mei fanned herself. "I would very much like to meet this man who is not worried of a strong woman."

"You are standing next to a man who is not worried about being next to a strong woman. Unlike my sister you will probably find someone. My sister on the other hand, she will never get married." One of the guards flanking her made a comment under his breath that unfortunately all she heard was 'She will never get married.'

"Aoi," Mei smiled at him. "Shut up before I kill you."

"Y-yes Ma'am." The guard went rigid and pale.

"I am sure you are much too busy to pay a visit to such a simple planet." Naruto laughed weakly.

"Terumi-sama has to maintain an active social life in order to fulfil her duty." Aoi informed Naruto. "She is struggling with the demands of her of late."

"My duty… Are you implying that getting married is my duty and that I am failing?!" Mei growled.

"Eh?!" The poor Aoi looked flustered. "I meant as one of the biggest financial backers of Gid's Empire you are required to visit many…"

"Shut up before I kill you."

"Y-yes Ma'am." Aoi repeated himself.

"Still," Mei picked a glass of wine from a passing waiter's tray and (after eying the waiter's shapely rear for a few more moments than Naruto felt comfortable witnessing) started swirling the glass of wine. "It would a failing on my part not to get acquainted with the possible future ruler of Deviluke. You should have a word with your old friend. I do hear the 'strongest suitor' is most anxious to check that you are not held against your will."

"Ah," Naruto smiled weakly. "Well… I'll be sure to send her a message at some point. I am a little busy at the present time."

"Oh?" Mei smiled, "And what _is_ the princess and Heir of the Devilukian Empire doing these days that is so important? Lounging around being worshipped by her fiancé?"

"Of course not," Naruto defended Lala. "I have… Er… Very important research underway."

"Indeed?"

"Yes."

"May I ask as to what the research entails?"

"W-well the most recent breakthrough was some… Good Night tablets."

"Sleeping tablets?"

"Not just sleeping tablets. They allow you to dream of whatever your heart desires," Naruto tried to recall everything Lala had told him about her invention. "I think they could be really useful to people, especially people like you who must be rushed off of their feet at all times."

"Are you implying that I would need such a thing to ever know what a relationship is like?"

"Eh?!" Naruto stepped back in shock. "I would never say such an obvious lie. I meant it must be hard to find time to sleep with all the work my… Papa probably makes you do."

Mei stared at Lala's face, her usual cheerful manner was missing (due to Naruto not being that naturally cheerful) but in this case it only solidified the impression that Lala was indeed honest.

"I apologise, with certain people making subtle digs at my age and single status I tend to see insults where there are none." Mei bowed her head. "Forgive me princess."

"Oh there's nothing to forgive!" Naruto did his best Lala impression which seemed to do the trick.

"I am glad," Mei glanced across the room. "I should let you mingle."

"Thank you," Naruto smiled as Mei, flanked by her two guards walked away.

"Lala-sama," Zastin walked up to him carrying a small tray of drinks.

"Are you waiting tables now?"

"Yes," Zastin coughed, "It is my duty to ensure no harm befalls you and as such I have decided to mingle with the catering staff!"

"Aren't you a famous master swordsman? Shouldn't quite a few people recognise you?"

"I hadn't thought of that…".

"What am I supposed to do here?" Naruto sighed.

"Just be seen," Zastin smiled.

"Thanks," Naruto sighed as Zastin walked away. "I just hope Lala is treating my body well."

'_**Can she really put it through more damage than you yourself do?**_' Satalin remarked dryly.

* * *

"I'm a helicopter!" Lala declared as she waved her hips nakedly, the limp Naruto junior following her movements.

"I am finding this way more amusing than I should be," Momo smirked.

"I don't get why there is all this hair though," Lala scowled at Naruto's crotch. "Doesn't he shave here like we do? It is driving me mad!"

"If I were to hazard a guess I would imagine that his member gets in the way and I've heard that men are really protective of that area. Apparently blows there really hurt. Not quite as much as childbirth but still pretty painful."

"So this would be good training for childbirth!" Lala realised.

"Don't damage the goods." Momo warned her. "Remember it isn't your body."

"Oh please," Lala pouted. "Naruto's is probably sneaking into a toilet so he can play with my body! He can't get enough of it." She proudly declared.

"Sometimes she really makes me want to hit her," Kushina remarked dryly.

"Hm…" Momo nodded in agreement. "It's a shame that I won't get to borrow Naruto's body."

"Why not?" Risa asked.

"Well," Momo frowned. "When I bind with Naruto, I would need Lala and Naruto to both fully accept me into the network without any reservations. Naruto might but Lala loves Naruto too much to allow anyone the same amount of access as herself."

"Hello?" A knock on the door followed Mikan's voice. "Is everything okay?" She opened the door. "Breakfast was a good half hour ago and…" She froze seeing the naked Naruto in front of her.

"Hi Mikan-chan!" Lala waved. "Look I'm a helicopter!"

Mikan passed out with an unceremonious thud.

"Oops," Lala stuck her tongue out.

"You'd better get dressed." Momo sniggered as Nana and Yami helped the unconscious Mikan out of the room, Yami pausing to glare at Naruto's body.

"I would be careful princess, It appears the ecchi nature of Naruto-san's body is infecting you."

"Oh," Lala pouted as Momo threw some clothes at her.

"Get dressed. Yui will be here shortly and the last thing we need is for her to see you flashing everybody."

"Muu…"

"And please stop pouting in Naruto's body. It looks wrong."

"Okay…"

* * *

Rito sighed heavily as he walked down the street with a suspiciously cheerful Kenichi. He never realised how much of his life revolved around school as now that it was closed, he found himself with far too much free time. Free time he had tried to put to use by working out but after a disastrous meeting with Haruna and her sister, Rito had decided that it would be best to back off for now, at least until Haruna's big sister stopped pulling out a Taser whenever she saw Rito.

"Hm," Kenichi glanced at the down Rito, "What is with you? Aren't you brimming with the energy of youth? We might not have another week off school! The reports say that the principal is almost cleared of all charges! There truly is justice!"

"I'm not sure that the principal not getting punished is justice…" Rito dead panned but Kenichi was having none of it.

"He was falsely accused!"

"Of a crime he might have very well committed." Rito chuckled, "Let's be honest he isn't a saint."

"Well whatever," Kenichi grinned. "With the weather being so nice I thought I would do you a favour!" Kenichi grandly gestured to a large indoor swimming pool. "All the girls will probably be in there!"

"How do you know that?"

"I may have possible overheard some girls talking about it," Kenichi waved dismissively. "Including Haruna."

"H-Haruna-chan?" Rito blushed briefly.

"And her hot older sister!"

"...Oh." Rito faltered. "I... Uh… Have other plans sorry."

"What could be more important than this?"

"Special training with Naruto?"

"Oh! Say no more." Kenichi nodded sagely. "Good luck, fellow apprentice!" He slapped Rito on the back before racing into the swimming pool.

"To be so carefree…" Rito sighed heavily before slowing plodding along the pavement, kicking a pebble across the floor. "Maybe… If I use Kenichi as a shield I might get close enough to Haruna-chan to be able to talk to her!"

"Talk to me about what?"

"W-what?!" Rito span around to see a curious Haruna, with her elder sister nowhere in sight.

"I'm glad I ran into you," Haruna bit her lip. "There was something I had been hoping to ask you."

"Y-yeah?" Rito gulped.

"Oh it's too embarrassing." Haruna covered her face.

"Sarenji-chan?"

"Please call me Haruna Yuuki-kun."

"H-Hai Haruna-chan!" Rito beamed at his crush.

"Oh my," Haruna blushed crimson. "It sounds so strange hearing you call my name like that."

"Hahaha," Rito rubbed the back of the head. "It… It is a little wierd isn't it."

"Yes… But not a bad wierd." Haruna looked around. "I have something to ask you… In private."

"P-private?!" Rito felt the roof of his mouth go dry, "I… Er… Sure."

"Great!" Haruna tugged Rito with a suspicious level of strength, although Rito was too busy trying to quell his rapidly beating heart to notice as Haruna lead him down the street just as Haruna's big sister left the swimming pool with a happy sigh, tailed by her real younger sister.

"Geez I was hoping for some relaxing time to myself," Akiho sighed as she walked out of the swimming pool, Taser in hand. "I can't believe that Yuu-kun would track me down on my day off!"

"Onee-sama… You have had all week off," Haruna trailed after her sister.

"And to make matters worse that damn monkey boy showed up," AKiho sighed. "Hey…" She squinted at a familar red haired youth in the distance. "Is that the little pervert?" She raised the Taser as if trying to warn the distant figure. "Who is he with?"

"I can't tell," Haruna bit her lip. "It looks like a girl…"

"Kind of looks a bit like you," Akiho snorted. "Well so long as he isn't harassing you," Akiho lead the way home.

"Yuuki-kun isn't like that!"

"All men are like that," Akiho remarked off-handedly. "Yuuki-kun, the monkey boy… Even Yuu is a sexual deviant."

"Onee-sama!" Haruna blushed.

"Oh hush, your a big girl." Akiho smiled. "The important thing is not to give them too much you know? Keeps them interested. They are only after sex so don't just give it to them. Make them pay through the teeth!"

"Onee-sama is starting to sound more like an expensive courtesan."

"Hey! I don't sell my body… Well… At least not to anyone. I have to like them before i even think of letting them try and buy my favour." Akiho patted her hand on a designer handbag. "This bag probably cost Yuu two months savings yet he still bought me it on the off chance I might sleep with him."

"And did you?"

"Of course not!" Akiho looked embarrassed. "You know… Love is kind of important."

"I'm glad." Haruna smiled.

"Geez, you with that innocent sheep look. That's the kind of look that has wolves like that Yuuki boy sniffing around you. Never forget mum's warning; All men are wolves!"

"Even Uzumaki-kun?"

"Even him," Akiho nodded. "But… At least he has some good points as well." She titled her head. "Like a cute puppy wolf that you want to tease~"

"Yuuki-kun has good qualities too," Haruna defended the boy.

"I'm sure he does," Akiho patted Haruna on the shoulder in the most patronising manner.

"Onee-sama!"

"Ahaha!" Akiho laughed at her little sister's indignation and whistled a happy tune.

Haruna paused, glancing at the side street that Rito had just run down before shaking her head and following her big sister, trying to ignore a voice in the back of her head that was telling her to follow Rito.

Meanwhile Rito was struggling to calm himself down. The Haruna holding his hand seemed to be leading him towards the seedier district, where all the love hotels could be found. He was 100% sure that Haruna wasn't taking him there but then again she was acting a little strangely. Could this be the night? He was jerked from his thoughts when Haruna suddenly came to a halt in the middle of an alleyway.

"I can't hold back much longer," She gasped huskily before kissing Rito passionately, the red haired youth freezing in shock as Haruna's tongue forced it's way into his mouth and she ripped apart his shirt and started running her hands across his bare chest.

"Mmph?!" Rito pushed Haruna away panting, every part of him was screaming at him for doing this but deep down he knew that Haruna was not the kind of girl to do this. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you want me?" Haruna sucked her finger.

"I… Er…"

"Because it looks like you do~" She rubbed her crotch, where his body's natural reaction to a beautiful girl kissing and fondling him made itself known.

"S-Sairenji!" Rito gasped at the sensation. "This… This isn't like you…"

"I need you inside me." Haruna started to undo Rito's belt, causing the red haired boy to pass out from a severe nose bleed. The last thing he saw was a female in a lab coat with strange piercing yellow eyes stepped into his vision and sighing.

"You were supposed to seduce the other human…" The woman fiercely hit Haruna to the floor and wiped the blood from her knuckles on her coat. "Oh well. This one might prove useful to me." The woman smiled a reptilian smile. "Sweet dreams human. We are going to have so much fun when you wake up."

* * *

'_**Give into your hate… You must destroy them all!'**_

Naruto managed to avoid rolling his eyes as he walked along the dance floors, smiling innocently at people who gave him polite bows and smiles. Several young aliens wandered up and asked to dance, but Naruto kindly rebuffed them whilst memorising their faces for when he was back in his own body.

'_Strange as it sounds I much prefer you telling me to kill everyone instead of As-chan telling me to have sex with everyone."_

'_**Well you can do that too, just make sure to kill them. Before or after, doesn't bother me."**_

'_Are your entire people messed up in the head?'_

'_**Pretty much. We Damus have gazed into the Realm of Dreams and seen perfection. This poor excuse for a reality is but a cruel mockery of what lives we could lead. So we kind of do whatever the hell we want just to spite reality back.'**_

'_...What?'_

'_**Do you not know of our origins?' **_Satalin scoffed. _**'I should punch Asmodea in her ovaries.'**_

'_Have you told Lala all about your people's origins?"_

'_**Why would I do that? She would want to know that. Maybe if she killed a few people every now and again I might consider telling her stuff like that. Unfortunately, almost all of my hosts are pacifists. Just as almost all of Asmodea-chan's are prudes.'**_

'_I am not a prude.' _Naruto deftly side stepped a strange octopus looking alien who tried to lift her dress with a tentacle before 'accidentally' tripping a waiter who crashed into the aforementioned tentacle monster.

'_**The very fact you are in a female body and did not want that tentacle monster to have his way with you makes you a prude by Damus standards.'**_

'_Your standards are pretty messed up. By Earth standards I am kind of a player I guess? I do technically have several girlfriends."_

'_**Oh yes. Your harem.'**_

'_I don't have a harem.'_

'_**Sure you don't. Whore.'**_

"_I am glad you got your ass handed to you by some great destroyer.'_

'_**Meh. At least we took down those Arcangus fairies with us!'**_

'_Didn't you both get wiped out by the same great destroyer?' _Naruto struggled to recall Asmodea and Raphael's lecture on the great destroyer.

'_**Well yeah but since we made her that makes it our kill.'**_

'_Wouldn't it also make it the Arcangus' kill as they helped build this great destroyer?'_

'_**...Damn didn't think of that.'**_

'_I get the feeling you don't think about much other than punching things.'_

'_**I also thinking about stabbing, cutting and exploding things. But I digress. That group of Devilkin over there have been staring at you for some time.'**_

'_I noticed.' _Naruto glanced at a small group of Devilukians stood off to one side of the ball. A tall elderly devilukian with scraggly brown hair and a red headband that kept the worst of his hair from his eyes which were scanning the hall, spending far too much time on Lala. He was wearing loose fitting robes as opposed to the expensive outfits that the rest of the ball was wearing, which seemed to mask his body shape which when considering the painful scar across his face made Naruto suspect the old man had concealed weapons.

Stood directly in front of the old man was a much younger male devilukian wearing an ill-fitting suit. This youth was a lot less subtle in his monitoring of Lala and seemed to be whispering something whilst stroking a heavily bandaged arm. He had dull blue hair and seemed just as out of place as the old man behind him, although he kept glancing to the three other devilukians stood with them, who appeared to be body guards.

_**'You should totally punch them in the face.' **_

Making up his mind, Naruto decided to walk over to the group, figuring that whilst he was in Lala's body, he might as well use it to his advantage. If Lala had a reputation for being a happy and innocent girl, they would probably be more forthcoming with any answers he might want of them.

"Lady Lala," The old man bowed his head.

"Greetings to you," Naruto smiled innocently. "I couldn't help but notice that you don't seem to be having fun. This is a party!"

"Forgive me My princess," The old man glanced at the young boy as if trying to give him a hint. "Sora, is there anything you would like to ask the princess?"

"Huh?" The young boy blinked. "Oh right… Er... "He gulped nervously. "I… **I request that you join me in my private chambers.'**

"I... "Naruto felt a bit dizzy.

"**Please… I insist…'**

'_**Seriously? This guy is trying to use Seduction on you?! I don't know what's funnier. The fact that he thinks that the princess wouldn't have been trained against such a common Asmodea Ability or the fact that he thought he could have gotten away with using it.'**_

'I'm sorry," Naruto shook the cobwebs from his mind.

'_**Don't be sorry be mad! Punch him in the face! Please I'm begging you!'**_

"How the mighty have fallen!" Terumi cried out with mirth as she stepped up beside Naruto. "Seriously Kazuma-teme. Getting your son to try and influence a Devilukian Noble class with such a weak Asmodea Seduction? The house of the One King has truly fallen."

"Fuen, Fuka, Fudo. We are leaving." The named Kazuma growled as the three bodyguards surrounded Sora and lead him and his father away.

"I do apologise Lala-sama," Mei smiled. "I had hoped they would behave themselves but it appears that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Such a shame, the house of Furido used to be one of the great nobles until your father exiled them."

"Why did Papa exile them?" Naruto managed to suppress his urge to be sick after referring to Gid as 'Papa' in a serious manner.

"Oh they were against the whole Charmian alliance," Mei waved dismissively. "They believe that Devilukians can stand alone, ruling as the elite. If they have their way your mother would be executed and you little more than a sex toy, being a half breed yourself, no offence intended." She smirked at Lala, "Still they lack the power to make a move on you and your super-secret fiancé. I hope you can forgive me for inviting them."

"No harm," Naruto glanced at the retreating guests.

"Lala-sama," Zastin stepped up as Mei wandered off to harass some worried looking, handsome youths who were only there to deliver some cakes. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Naruto smiled.

"Then why are you clenching your fists tight enough to draw blood."

"Oh no reason." Naruto's bloodthirsty grin looked ten times more intimidating on the usually cheerful Lala's face. "Just remembering some names and faces."

"M-maybe we should go back home." Zastin laughed weakly.

"Yes." Naruto nodded. "On the way back… Tell me everything you know about a man called Kazuma of the house Furido."

"Not much to say about the man. A talented admiral and accomplished soldier from a once great family," Zastin shrugged. "They used to be the main naval power until the Charmian fleet joined the empire. Then they became surplus to requirements and too bogged down in the old ways. They have a small fleet and few people of note. The current Heir is a competitor in the suitor games, Sora Asmodea Furido."

"Asmodea?"

"Yes, much like Naruto-dono he has a fragment of Asmodea within him, although from what Naruto-dono says his Asmodea is a fragment of corruption whereas Sora's is a fragment of Seduction."

"I see," Naruto frowned as he followed Zastin out of the ballroom.

"They say he is quite accomplished with his Damus form, although of course Lala-sama wouldn't have to worry about that."

"Hm?"

"Well… You and your sisters have all been trained to resist such techniques." Zastin laughed. "All mind control is ineffective against you… well besides the err… Berserker related things with Momo-sama."

"I see," Naruto felt slightly relieved. "But what of the others?"

"Oh in the harem?"

"In the family, I don't have a harem." Naruto replied.

"Impressive Lala-sama! You truly are devoted to this game." Zastin smiled. "Do not worry! I am sure that you will finish your designs on protection for the others."

"I see." Naruto nodded. "That's good." _'Of course Lala would have something planned. She is a genius after all.'_

"May I offer some advice Lala-sama. I know you only see the good in Naruto-dono but you have to acknowledge his failings if you wish to convince anyone with your act." Zastin coughed.

"Act?"

"You are acting far too intelligent to be Naruto-dono."

"..."

"After all Naruto-dono is a punch first ask questions lat-ARGG!" Zastin cried out in pain as he hurtled down the corridor, courtesy of a full powered devilukian punch.

There was the sound of someone inhaling on a cigarette before exhaling with a satisfied sigh. _**'Was it as good for you as it was for me?'**_

Naruto smirked as he walked towards the ship. Part of him felt a little guilty about hitting Zastin knowing he would never fight back but a larger part just felt satisfied at seeing him hurtling down a corridor in shock.

'_**You should swap bodies with the princess more often.' **_A happy Satalin remarked. **'**_**We make a good team. I tell you to punch things and (eventually) you punch something. You said yourself that I am better than Asmodea of the ever open legs.' **_

'_Speak of Asmodea, I wonder how Lala is getting along with her."_

* * *

The Uzumaki household was a hive of activity as Yui entered, hoping that she didn't look as tired as she felt. Naruto had kept her awake until the early hours of the morning and her big brother decided to wake her up to tell her he was going to go to the swimming pool as he heard that Akiho was going and had wanted her to come as well as an excuse for being there. She had tried to point out that stalking your girlfriend was not a good way to win her over but Yuu was adamant that he had everything planned out.

Shaking her head at the thought of her brother, she almost walked into Nana as the devilukian raced past her, her giant boar fully laden with various hi-tech looking gizmos. She looked around curiously to see everyone was busy.

"What's going on?" Yui ask concerned.

"Oh hi Yui-chan," Momo smiled as she walked by with a heavy looking box with various sci-fi looking wires and tubes hanging out of it. "Just making sure that Onee-sama has the right tools available to build a planetary shield for when the war breaks out."

"...What?" Yui blinked as Momo ran off, Nana hurrying past with another box of tools. "Where is Naruto?"

"Hn!"

'_Wow! That was so like Naruto! You're amazing Lala!' _Raphael clapped happily in the confines of Lala's head. The two had instantly become friends as they were both big on the idea of sharing Naruto's love and love in general. Asmodea would not be surprised if the bubbly alien tried to get Raphael in the harem before the princess was returned to her own body.

'_**Sorry are we talking about the same Naruto here?' **_Asmodea remarked. Unlike her angelic counterpart, Asmodea was not having much fun with Lala. The girl didn't seem to understand the idea of having sex with anyone other than Naruto, even when she was in control of his body. She was more of a prude than Naruto and seemed practically incorruptible by the means available to Asmodea, which was a horrifying concept for the Damus of Lust and Corruption.

"Naruto?" Yui turned to see Naruto, at least someone who looked like him. He was wearing his school uniform in a stereotypical delinquent fashion, wearing his jacket like a cape and a cap across his head. What looked like a cigarette but on closer inspection was a lollipop stick was stuck out of his mouth at an odd angle and he was staring intently in the distance, a strange breeze making the coat flutter behind him. "...Did Lala do something to you?"

"Why would you say that?" Lala (in Naruto's body) pouted.

"Lala-san?!"

"Oh Onee-sama and Naruto have swapped bodies." Momo added as she raced by to pick up another box of supplies, "And Zastin took Naruto to a meeting with plenty of influential nobles so we figured he would start a war."

"Naruto wouldn't do something as irresponsible as starting a war!" Yui defended him.

'_**She… She is talking about the same Naruto as you right?' **_Asmodea muttered.

'_She can't be.' _Raphael voiced her opinion.

"Right!" Lala nodded happily before realising she was still in Naruto's body and scowling at a wall in what she thought was a conflicted, heroic way but just made it look like Naruto was constipated.

"But why are you dressed like that?" Yui asked Lala.

"What do you mean?" Lala blinked.

"Well… Naruto doesn't usually dress like that at all," Yui pointed out. "I mean he might not tuck his shirt in sometimes and his tie be more tidily tied up but… He doesn't look like he is about to fight Dio?!"

"W-what?" Lala looked shocked.

"I mean okay he has bright blonde hair that makes him look like a delinquent but besides that he just looks a little rough around the edges." Yui mumbled, "Plus he doesn't act like that at all! He is quite warm hearted not indifferent."

"Muu…" Lala sulked at having her Naruto impression insulted. "I'll bet you are just jealous that I get to use Naruto's body!" She stuck her tongue out.

"No, your impression of Naruto is really that far off." Momo corrected.

"Fine then." Lala crossed her arms. "How about a wager?"

"Wager?"

"I'll bet that I can convince at least five of Naruto's friends that I am Naruto! When I win, I get to go to the Paradise planet with Naruto for a whole week. No interruptions."

"Paradise planet?" Kushina walked into the room, wearing a vest top and short pants that were stained with sweat.

"What have you been doing?" Nana looked at her.

"Training," Kushina flexed her muscles. "Mikado's been helping me re-awaken my old powers. I reckon I'm getting pretty good." Kushina smirked smugly, "But enough about me, what is this paradise planet?"

"It's basically an entire world that is a high class beach resort." Momo remarked. "It's really expensive though and given the high demand they don't even give out free stays to us princesses. So how do you expect to pay for it?"

"Simple," Lala smirked. "All of your allowances for the next six months will pay for it!"

"...What?" Nana blinked. "No deal! I need that to buy… things…" Nana trailed off.

"Wait… What do we get if you fail?" Momo crossed her arms. "Given how much you want from us you have to offer something of equal value."

"My position as the first bride."

"What?!" Momo was visibly taken aback.

"You mean… you are willing to bet your position as the head of the harem." Kushina stroked her chin thoughtfully.

"The family," Yui corrected.

"That's right." Lala nodded. "I am that sure that I will win and prove that my impression of Naruto is spot on!"

"Onee-sama, I am only saying this because I know how much you love Naruto. If you go ahead with this bet you will lose your position as the Queen of the harem and I'll be honest," Momo crossed her arms. "When I become the new queen I can't guarantee I will be as generous as you are when it comes to letting other people spend time with my Naruto."

"Wait, wait, wait," Kushina shook her head. "What makes you so sure that you would become the new head of the harem?"

"Family!" Yui protested.

"Well, I am the next in line," Momo remarked.

"Really? Because I would think it would be me." Kushina tilted her head. "Seeing as I have known Naruto the longest and chronologically speaking I am the first person to have had sex with him."

"What happens whilst time traveling in the past, stays in the past." Momo smirked.

"I am his wife," Risa reminded the other girls. "Wouldn't it make sense for me to be the head of the harem?"

"So we are agreed then?" Lala beamed. "If i lose the wager anyone but Risa has a chance to be the Queen so to speak."

"Why am I disqualified?!"

"That's fine by me." Momo winked. "I can't wait to make full use of the position of Harem Queen. Naruto and I are going to have so… much… fun!" She licked her lips seductively.

"Come to think of it, have you actually had sex with Naruto yet?" Lala tilted her head.

"Not yet but soon." Momo smirked. "And what better way to celebrate becoming his first bride?"

"That won't happen because I am not going to lose this bet!" Lala remarked happily.

"Well," Momo crossed her arms. "I suppose if you are so sure. Whilst you are going out and failing to win this bet, I'll think of a way to decide the new queen of the harem is."

"Family!" Yui correctly hotly. "And if there is to be a new 'queen' shouldn't Naruto chose her?"

"Of course you'd suggest that." Nana scoffed. "Being the only person Naruto went out of his way to add to the harem."

"Family! And that's not true… Although if I were in charge there would certainly be a large increase in the morality of the family." Yui frowned.

"Such a discussion is pointless because I am not going to lose!" Lala declared as she left the house.

"I will ensure no harm befalls the princess," Yami intoned bluntly as she stepped from the shadows and followed Lala.

"So…" Momo smirked. "Who has a good plan to decide the next leader? Spoiler warning: My idea involves chocolate sauce and a little book known as the Omega Principia Vitae."

"Wait isn't that your religion's bible?" Yui linked.

"Indeed," Momo pulled her D-Dial out as summoned a book, opening it to a set of pictures and showing it to Yui who went bright red. "I have some useful tips to make the most of our freedom."

"S-s-shameless!" Yui squawked as she stepped back.

"Admittedly position thirteen looks really uncomfortable." Momo frowned. "Not sure how much I will enjoy that."

Yui merely went bright red and tried not to imagine her and Naruto in that position. She failed miserably.

* * *

Lala happily walked through the streets, before realising that Naruto never did that and scowling whilst standing (in what she thought was) a majestic pose.

"Ah Manly Sage!"

Lala turned to face Kenichi, given her best unimpressed grunt.

"You are looking particularly manly today." Kenichi nodded eagerly.

"Ah Adonis-kun!" Kenichi's little sister Ayumi beamed at her hero. "How are you!"

'_**Ah if it isn't Naruto's Loli Love interest.' **_

'_What?' _Lala blinked. _'I was trying to make Mikan fill that role… Or maybe Nana but she gets upset when you refer to her as a Loli. Maybe Yami then… But Yami spens all her time hiding in the shadows. Maybe she needs a big sister figure to help her out of the darkness!' _

'_**Yes you wouldn't believe how far he has gone with her.' **_Asmodea saw a chance to screw with Naruto and took it.

'_R-really?!' _

'_**He calls her his Loli-pop.' **_

'_When did he…' _ Raphael was suddenly cut off and there was the sound of scuffling then a muffled yell, as if someone had been gagged.

'_**All the time.' **_Asmodea remarked.

'_I see.' _Lala nodded sagely at Ayumi. "Greetings Loli-pop."

"...Eh?" Ayumi and Kenichi glanced at each other.

"Oh I get it!" Kenichi nodded eagerly. "It's like a cute nickname right? Because she is a small girl. Such quick thinking is one of your lesser known powers!"

'_**Wait what? Seriously?! This guy will ignore anything that strikes him as off when it comes to Naruto." **_

"Ah! Adonis-kun has given me a cute nickname! And we are going to get married and…"

'_**I see it runs in the family…' **_

"'Yumi-chan… Have you seen the members of his harem? You wouldn't even get a second chance. You'll be like some sort of wall paper character who is hardly ever mentioned!'

'_**Anyone remember Peke? Or how about Run/Ren. Remember when Yami actually did something that advanced the plot…' **_

"Is that so Onii-sama?" Ayumi twitched angrily.

"May I offer you some advice?" Kenichi started.

"Shoryuken!" Ayumi roared as she punched her big brother into the air and he landed on the floor. "Ah… I mean… I'm a delicate little flower," She laughed weakly.

"Hn," Lala gave Ayumi a thumbs up and set off on her way, the ecstatic Ayumi declaring her adonis loved the true her. _'So that's two people who I was able to fool!" _

'_**Okay princess but let's be honest, those two seem to have a more warped view of Naruto than you do. I doubt you will find anyone else who is that deluded when it comes to Naruto.' **_

'_Muu…' _Lala mentally pouted as she walked the streets. _'I need to find someone who knows Naruto really well... Wait a second! Haruna!__ If I can convince Haruna-chan then I am clearly awesome at doing Naruto impressions!' _Lala nodded sagely

'_**This… This could be fun,' **_Asmodea grinned.

'_MMPH?!' _

'_**Quiet you… Or I'll use the other whip. The one you don't like." **_

* * *

Rito blinked as he regained consciousness. There was a bright light shining in his face and he was vaguely aware of soft moans of pleasure. He tried to move but found his arms and legs were tied to the table.

"I see our guest is awake." The female voice he had heard before passing out sneered before there was the sound of someone clicking thier fingers and the bright light dimmed, allowing RIto to see two shapes that eventually swam into focus. One was the strange woman with her long black hair, pale skin and piercing yellow eyes and the other was Haruna, completely naked and grinding herself against the leg of the woman.

"H-Haruna-chan?!"

"It's amazing what a small splash of Lust Mushrooms can achieve," The woman gestured at Haruna's flushed face and unfocused eyes. A small trail of drool dripped from her mouth as her tongue lolled out. "One more dose and… well this becomes permanent."

"N-No!" Rito gasped.

"Of course," The woman leered at Rito. "I could cure her… But if you want to save her… You have to do something for me."

"What do you want?" Rito grit his teeth, trying to fight back tears at how helpless he felt right now. No doubt Naruto would be able to break free from the table, kick the ass of the psycho and take Haruna back to Lala and Mikado-sensei who would cure her, whilst all he could do was struggle feebly against his bindings. Even so part of him didn't want Naruto to show up, so that he could be the hero for once, even though it meant Haruna was in danger.

"You see… I have very select interests," The woman lounged in a chair lifting Haruna's chin. "My first goal is to learn every secret of this universe. The truth behind the destruction of the Damus and Arcangus… The secrets of Soul Splicing. The problem is there are so many mysteries there is no way I can learn them all in just one lifetime. So in order to do this I have to become immortal."

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Rito yelled angrily.

"You humans have so little patience." The woman sighed. "You were the one who asked me what I wanted."

"I meant with Haruna."

"Oh I have absolutely no interest in her." The woman gestured lazily. "She is merely the means to an end. Or at least someone's end. Our mutual acquaintance Naruto Uzumaki."

"What did he do to you?"

"He killed my brother." The woman smirked, "Not that I particularly care about that but for the sake of appearances I have to kill him. Plus he stands between me and the perfect body."

"Eh?"

"The second oldest Devilukian princess."

"Momo?"

"Bah!" The woman sneered. "Not that woman with her repulsive form. Nana Astar Deviluke, blessed with an unaging form that I shall be taken from her."

"Why would I help you have to hearing that?"

"Do you not love this girl?"

"Please… Rito-kun…" Haruna panted erotically. "It burns… I can't take this much longer…"

"Haruna-chan…" Rito felt horrible seeing Haruna in such a bad state.

"So I ask you human?" The woman smirked. "What is more important to you? The life of this girl or the lives of the man who stands between you and your beloved and some girl who you don't even know?"

"I…" Rito closed his eyes, hating himself.

"I see…" The woman nodded. "You have made your decision." She pulled a syringe out of her coat. "Inside this is a potent poison that even a full blooded devilukian wouldn't be able to withstand. For what it is worth the poison is instantaneous so he won't suffer. Remember…" She knocked out Haruna and threw the drugged girl over her shoulder. "If you don't deliver your end of the deal, I'll make sure Haruna-chan here lives to regret it. I will be watching so If you try and betray me… the next time you will see Haruna… well it will probably be on one of those extreme adult sites. Ciao." She stepped into the shadows and vanished without a trace, the bindings holding Rito to the table released themselves leaving him looking at the syringe.

"I… I'm sorry Naruto." Rito bit his lip. "I'm not strong enough to fight. But I will do what I must to protect Haruna-chan." He picked up the syringe. "Sorry Naruto." He repeated as he left the warehouse, fighting back his own disgust with his weakness.

* * *

"Urgh," Naruto groaned as he walked into his house. Lala's body had all sorts of aches and Naruto was desperate to get back into his own body. He arrived to see the girls (or at least most of them) sat around a table having a heated debate. Momo looked mildly annoyed whereas Yui looked shocked. Nana was scowling and Kushina looked frustrated. Sat off to one side, Mikado was lounging in a chair, nursing a cup of hot chocolate whilst Oshizu massaged her neck and shoulders. The familiar smell of a good meal suggested that Mikan was in the kitchen. He could hear Risa's voice as she talked to the younger Yuuki sibling.

There was no sign of Lala in his body or Yami, although Yami was usually hidden in the shadows so that wasn't much of a surprise. He also noticed a lack of Rito but wasn't that concerned as the elder Yuuki sibling kept himself to himself as of late.

"I say the next person to get pregnant wins!" Momo declared.

"How shameless!" Yui slammed her palms on the table. "If we are to decide a winner it should be in a sensible and proper way!"

"Hey girls," Naruto groaned as he walked over to the coach and collapsed.

"So are we at war then?" Momo glanced at Naruto.

"Nope." He sighed happily. "I was diplomatic as hell."

"Er…"

"You know what I mean." Naruto rubbed his eyelids. "Where's Lala?"

"Out trying to convince people she is you," Momo smirked. "Don't worry, Yami is with her to keep her out of trouble."

"That's fortunate," Naruto groaned as he stretched out. "Seriously today has been exhausting. Plus I think I found a new enemy."

"You make enemies like a master craftsman," Mikado chuckled. "Couldn't you wait until you have dealt with Orochimaru before starting a fight with someone else."

"I didn't deliberately do it," Naruto frowned. "But the way they acted…"

"I am sure that Naruto-san did what he thought was best," Oshizu smiled at Naruto.

"Oh Oshizu right?" Naruto nodded at the girl.

"H-hai!" Oshizu bowed her head. "I never got to thank you for saving me."

"Don't worry about," Naruto laughed weakly.

"So you are in Lala-san's body? This era truly is a wondrous place." Oshizu looked impressed.

"Even for this era, swapping bodies isn't that common."

"Is that so?" Oshizu blinked.

"Yeah," Naruto shook his head at the naivety of the ghost girl. "This is an alien thing. So what is such a severe issue that it has you all arguing?"

"Oh we are trying to decide who will be the next 'Head' of the harem."

"Family," Naruto and Yui corrected on reflex.

"Whatever," Momo smirked.

"Wait… Why are you choosing a new head?!"

"Oh Onee-sama bet that she knew you so well that she could convince… how many was it?" Momo glanced at the others.

"Five i think," Nana shrugged, trying to sound disinterested.

"Five people that she was you. She was so sure she bet her place as the Queen of the harem," She paused to allow the reflex denials by Yui and Naruto before continuing, "And since her impression of you was terrible we are betting that she will lose."

"...Seriously," Naruto groaned.

"I mean i think it should just pass to me," Momo remarked. "I am the next in line."

"Just because you are older than Nana…" Kushina started.

"I'm not," Momo smiled. "I am the second in command of the Harem or family, whatever you want to call it."

"Wait…" Risa held up her hands in a 'Stop' gesture. "You're the older of the two of you?!" She looked at Nana.

"Why are you so surprised?" Nana looked offended.

"Well…" Risa coughed weakly. "You know…"

"There is more to maturity than breasts!" Nana snapped. "So what if I don't have those ugly mounds of fat."

"You say something?" Momo grinned as she pushed her breasts forwards using her arms.

"You stole mine!" Nana snapped. "Give them back!"

The two sisters started to grapple and roll across the floor.

"I swear," Naruto walked over to them. "Lala leaves the house and you all start trying to kill each other. At least when Lala is here its only Risa who is in danger."

"Right," Risa nodded. "Wait what?!"

"Stop fighting." Naruto grabbed the two tails to stop the sisters, Momo's response was as expected: she gasped and released her elder sister before panting erotically.

"More~" She purred.

Nana on the other hand, she practically screamed as her entire body shook, leaving her blank eyed and drooling slightly, her tongue lolling out of her mouth .

"Nyoo.." She slurred. "Shtop it…"

"Er…" Naruto released their tails. "Is she alright?"

"We all have our gifts," Momo mumbled, disappointed that Naruto didn't continue to play with her tail although as an afterthought decided that it was probably a good idea considering Naruto was in her eldest sister's body. "Nana is ridiculously sensitive and no one knows why. Possibly a side effect of her restricted growth."

"Right," Naruto glanced at the twitching Nana, "Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine," Mikado assured him. "She just needs to recover."

"Lucky," Momo grumbled at her sister enviously. "She can achieve a level of sexual satisfaction that precious few can attain."

"Huh," Naruto rubbed the back of Lala's head. "I guess that's good?"

"Just be careful," Mikado winked. "When you finally bind with her, you too will feel the high level of pleasure. Last thing we all want is for you to become some sort of mind broken sex addict."

"Mind broken?!" Naruto glanced at Nana who was started to recover.

"Don't worry, we devilukians are highly resilient to such things." Momo winked. "So mess us up as much… as… you… want." She finished whispering into Naruto's (well technically Lala's) ear.

"I don't know how you can still flirt with Naruto when he is in Lala's body," Kushina shook her head.

"Meh," Momo shrugged. "It might be Onee-sama's body but… well it's hard to explain. As a Berserker I can sense other berserkers. Onee-sama should be a noble class but when I look at her, all my senses (except my eyes) tell me that it is Naruto in front of me."

"So let me get this straight," Risa frowned. "All of your devilukians can basically form a sort of telepathic link to Naruto, you have some sort of Berserker sense that allows you to sense Naruto and she is ridiculously receptive to pleasure?"

"Sounds about right," Momo nodded .

"I really need to get Lala to change my species," Risa joked.

"She probably could do that." Kushina pointed out. "Although if it was you asked she would probably demand you invalidate your marriage first."

"But in return you would get longer life span, much greater strength and the ability to connect to Naruto on the most intimate level." Momo pointed out.

"But I'd have to give up being married to Naruto…" Risa frowned. "I don't know if I could do that."

"Well you wouldn't be giving up your right to marry him, just the right to be married to him before Onee-sama." Momo remarked.

"It's all moot though." Nana staggered to her feet. "Onee-sama hasn't managed to make any progress on that sort of work. Without experimentation she can't make any progress and she refused to cross that line and risk hurting people."

"Well there are enough mad scientists around without Lala joining their ranks," Naruto shook his head. "At least Lala is sane. She hasn't built any doomsday weapons."

"At least not lately," Momo smirked.

"And let's hope that never changes." Risa sighed.

* * *

'_Do you think Naruto would care if I wiped out most of the town?' _Lala struggled to restrain her rage as she walked through the town. Whilst she knew that Naruto's reputation amongst the majority of the town was less than stellar, she didn't realise that people were outright hostile to him. Maybe it was her looking at the world through rose coloured glasses but she had always assumed that everyone viewed him as the hero that she saw.

Young children would run away when they saw her coming, old woman would mutter whilst shooting her dark looks and girls who were open and friendly to her when she was in her own body, refused to acknowledge her presence.

'_**I imagine that would upset Naruto.' **_Asmodea remarked dryly. _'__**For some inane reason he feels that it is his duty to prove them wrong or something. This is why he rarely leaves the house during reasonable hours unless he is going somewhere with you girls or has something that he has to do. I guess he is just used to it.' **_

'_But it isn't fair!' _Lala watched as a group of boys who would always try and hit on her at school, shot her a glance at muttered something before laughing loudly.

'_Maybe not but that's the way it is. One day Naruto will prove them all wrong!' _Raphael declared proudly.

'_Right!' _Lala nodded happily.

"_**Hey, look on the bright side. At least you were able to convince the required amount of people that you are indeed Naruto. That's gotta count for something right?' **_Asmodea remarked but before Lala could respond a familiar voice called out Naruto's name.

"Hello?" Lala span around to see a grinning Akiho and an awkward looking Haruna behind her.

"It's rare to see you out and about without your entourage," Akiho patted her on her shoulder. "What is it blondie? You and the Kotegawa girl broken up yet?"

"Er… No…" Lala was confused by the elder Kotegawa words.

"Onee-sama," Haruna shot her big sister an angry look. "Please don't mind her Uzumaki-kun."

"Okay," Lala shrugged. "So how are you today?"

"Oh I'm good," Haruna smiled slightly. "I mean… Er... " She fidgeted awkwardly.

"Is something the matter?" Lala blinked.

"Oh, I… well…" Haruna bit her lip and looked away. "It's… I have to get going."

"Hey!" Lala crossed her arms. "If there is something wrong you can tell me! We are best buddies right?"

"Best…" Haruna tailed off. "Are _you _okay Uzumaki-san?"

"Eh?"

"You are acting a little wierd."

"Oh… I er… Hahahaha," Lala laughed weakly.

"Geez this is painful to watch," Akiho rubbed the back of her head.

"Ah," Haruna looked at the floor. "I guess… It is still a little awkward considering you did kind of reject my confession."

"Oh right that," Lala nodded. "Well I did what I had to do."

"Pardon?" Haruna looked confused.

'_**Er… Listen I love screwing with Naruto's love life as much as the next ancient god-like being sealed into an unwilling container but I would advise being careful here. Conversations between Naruto and Haruna are fraught with possible landmines so try to avoid doing too much damage.' **_Asmodea advised Lala.

"Well… You aren't the kind of person who could be in a harem so…"

"Wait what?" Akiho interrupted Lala.

"Oh sorry, I meant the family," Lala corrected herself.

"I don't care what you call it!" Akiho looked at Lala angrily. "What is this about a harem?"

"Er… Well…" Lala floundered, not having expected that Naruto didn't tell Akiho about the harem. "You see this alien princess kind of wants to marry me and the custom of thier species is to have harems. Oh and I am going to be the galactic emperor."

"...What?" Akiho glanced at Haruna, who didn't look half as shocked as her elder sister was expecting, "You know about this?!"

"Well," Haruna bit her lip. "I… I know about parts such as Lala-san, the princess."

"Lala? You mean that pink haired bimbo?" Akiho asked.

"...She's actually really nice," Lala managed to keep her voice surprisingly level.

"Lala-san is a good person," Haruna smiled sadly.

"Plus this competition is super deadly with assassins trying to kill me," Lala crossed her arms in what she hoped was a Naruto-like way, "I couldn't put Haruna-chan in that sort of danger again."

'_Er… Lala please stop speaking.' _

"Again?!"

"Oh there was this shape shifting alien ages ago. I mean Rito tried to help but he kind of passed out when he saw Haruna-chan in a kind of erotic position."

"..." Akiho's face had gone eerily blank. "I see."

"So yeah," Lala laughed awkwardly. "It would be best if Haruna-chan didn't get involved with this!"

"Is that why?" Haruna whispered.

"Eh?"

"Is that why you rejected my confession? To protect me?"

"Er… Sure?" Lala figured that was infact Naruto's reasoning.

"I… I see…" Haruna smiled. "That… That makes me feel better."

"No worries!" She beamed at Haruna.

"Well," Akiho glanced at Haruna, "I guess we'd best be going home eh?"

"R-right." Haruna nodded.

"I totally nailed that conversation," Lala announced as she watched Haruna and Akiho left. The two voices in her head decided against commenting as she made her way back home, where a tired looking Lala was waiting for her.

"Honey I'm home."

"I don't think I've ever said that," Naruto remarked dryly.

"Hehe," Lala rubbed the back of her head. "How did the meeting go?"

"Well enough," Naruto remarked. "I made a new enemy."

"Well as long as you had fun. I managed to convince loads of people that I was Naruto!"

"This is correct," Yami stepped from the shadows. "I counted no fewer than thirty individuals that referred to her as Naruto and failed to notice that the princess was in fact in control of the body."

"Seriously?" Naruto blinked. _'How the hell do people see me?!' _

"Why do you feel so shocked?" Lala pouted.

"Stop pouting in Naruto's body!" Nana looked away.

"Let's… Let's just get back in our own bodies… How do we do it?" Naruto approached Lala.

"Simple!" Lala smiled as she hugged Naruto who returned the hug. "Just focus on your own body."

Naruto closed his eyes and suddenly felt as if he was spinning around violently before suddenly jerking to a halt and falling over. When he opened his eyes he saw a bemused looking Lala stood over him.

"I'm back in my own body?!" Naruto let out a sigh of relief.

"Muu…" Lala frowned. "My body doesn't feel like you touched it at all!"

"...What?"

"Why didn't you molest my body when you had the chance?"

"...I'm going to bed." Naruto grumbled as he got up.

"Maybe he doesn't find you as desirable as you thought?" Momo teased her big sister her merely pouted as the door to the house opened and a pale looking Rito stepped inside.

"Ah Rito!" Mikan peered out of the kitchen. "I wondered where you had gone."

"Oh I've been out," Rito smiled weakly, terrified that the girls could sense his guilt.

"Out?" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "Usually I would suspect that meant you were seeing a girl but this is you we are talking about."

"That's funny, hahahaha." Rito fake laugh was almost painful. "I'm… I'm kind of tired so I will go to bed."

"You as well? Naruto-san has retired early today as well." Mikan looked worried. "I hope you are not coming down with something."

"Naruto is sleeping?" Rito steeled his resolve. "I… I will see you tomorrow." He gulped and walked towards the bedrooms.

"Hmm…" Mikan frowned before returning to the kitchen.

Rito crept towards Naruto's bedroom and opened the door to see him sprawled on his bed, eyes shut and chest slowly rising and falling.

"Naruto?" He whispered, getting no response from the blonde. "I'm sorry." He pulled the syringe from his jacket and walked over to Naruto before holding the syringe over Naruto's heart. "I… I am not a knight who can go charging in to save the princess. This… This is the only way I can help her." He closed his eyes before letting out a breath.

"I'm sorry… for everything." He whispered before plunging the syringe down.


	29. Chapter 29: The Master of Genetics

To Love Ruto

A/N: Hey everybody! Another chapter here. This one focuses on Rito a little. Now there is a going to be a poll on my profile after this chapter and to avoid spoilers, the poll will be explained at the end of the chapter. I already have a good idea what I am going to do but I am curious what other people think. That being said the poll is purely to see what you guys and gals think. Unless there is some sort of monumental surge of votes for a different outcome, I will use the one I was going to use (which will be on the poll but I just won't say which one)

**IMPORTANT POLL NOTICE: **To try and avoid having two seperate polls, I have given two votes on the Rito poll. Please select one (A) option and one (B) option to let me know your preference for Rito's fate and his love life. As I have said I alrealy have it planned baring a massive public opinion for an alternative result.

This Arc should only have one or two more chapters after this and then the whole NarutoXHarunaXRito thing will be pretty much resolved or at least not really mentioned.

About the One shot Competition, I was amazed by the sheer number of requests I have received and will probably start a Poll at the end of the next chapter to see which one you want to see written. I have increased the number of stories on the poll to 10, and you will probably have 3 votes. If your story isn't on the poll then it doesn't mean I didn't like the idea, It just means the other ideas are from shows I have seen so would require less research on my part. I have five of the entries on my profile and will upload the poll after the next chapter of TLR is uploaded.

Anyway that's enough from me, Let's get this show on the road!

Disclaimer: Still don't own either of the shows.

* * *

Chapter 29: The Master of Genetic Engineering

There was an unnerving silence in Naruto's room. Rito simply stood there, eye still closed.

"I'm sorry," Rito chuckled mirthlessly. "I… I kind of envied you, you know? You were always so strong compared to me and seem to have so little difficulty when it comes to love. And it made it easier for me to just blame you. Even when I tried to work out, all I was thinking about was trying to overcome you. But… But that was me being childish right? I thought that I could surpass you just by putting in a little effort."

Naruto's chest rose slowly as he slept peacefully.

"I mean just look at those scars," Rito shook his head as he gestured to the faint scars that littered his arms that were left after his many battles. "You have worked hard for what you have and work even harder to keep it, yet all I did was blame you whilst forcing a smile. But that changes…" He clenched his fist. "This time I won't just sit back. How could I look Haruna in the eyes if the only way I could save her would be to kill one of her oldest friends. No…" Rito looked fired up as he turned his back on Naruto. "I will find a better way." He picked up a baseball bat that he remembered Lala inventing. "I will save Haruna-chan." He left the room, leaving the syringe stuck in the pillow next to Naruto's head.

"Are you going somewhere?" Mikan asked as Rito walked towards the front door, throwing his jacket on.

"Just a little evening jog." Rito smiled faintly at Mikan her pursed her lips.

"Have you gotten yourself into trouble?" Mikan walked towards him, "You know you could ask Naruto and the others to help."

"I'm not in any trouble," Rito assured his younger sister.

"Really? Because between the late nights sneaking back and the fact you have been working out lately, I can't help but worry." Mikan glanced at the others who were happily eating. "They might not notice but I am your little sister. You've been acting weird for a while but I just figured you were awkward staying here whilst Lala fixed our old house but then you never moved back when our house was completed."

"Wait… Our house was completed?" Rito blinked.

"You didn't know?" Mikan tilted her head. "I would have thought Lala would have told you that. Mum and Dad have been living there."

"I see… Then why are you still here?"

"Because you are?" Mikan paused, "Plus they seem to rely heavily on me so I figured…"

"Mikan, you don't have to stay here just because they seem to rely on you." Rito ruffled his younger sister's hair much to her annoyance. "You aren't their slave; you are just a little girl. Even Lala couldn't object to you going home."

"It's not that I don't want to go back there but… I kind of like it here too. The others are so kind to me and… and it is like having a big family. Back home there was just you and I and very rarely mum or dad would pop in to say hi but here is always so lively…"

"You can stay if you want," Rito assured her, "I am sure Naruto wouldn't object."

"You aren't staying?"

"Well…" Rito laughed weakly, "I guess I don't really fit in here. Don't get me wrong it's not like I don't like them. It's just that we aren't really friends, merely acquaintances."

"That's not true," Mikan started to argue until Rito silenced her with a shake of her head.

"I'll bet most of them won't even realise I'm gone. Naruto might but… I think it would be better for both of us if I didn't live here. He has enough on his plate with the girls and potential galactic assassins after him. Last thing he needs is to try and help me out."

"Help you out with what?" Mikan asked.

"Well," Rito looked away embarrassed. "It's not important."

"Haruna then?" Mikan smiled knowingly.

"Gah," Rito flinched at his little sister's accuracy.

"Well," Mikan hugged Rito. "I'll stay here tonight and talk to the others about moving back home with you."

"Why?"

"I can't go leaving you by yourself," Mikan smiled at Rito, "You wouldn't last the week."

"Geez, don't go easy on me," Rito chuckled.

"Remember," Mikan paused as she headed back to the kitchen, "If you are in trouble, don't suffer alone. I am here for you and so are the others. "

"…Thanks Mikan." Rito nodded before quickly leaving, grabbing the baseball bat and stepping out into the cold.

The sun was just starting to set and Rito considered waiting until morning before scolding himself mentally. Every second counted and there was no telling what the freakish woman was doing to Haruna in the meantime.

As the street lights started to come on, he got the sneaking suspicion he was being followed so took a side street and waiting for his stalker to catch up to him. After waiting for ten minutes he decided he had wasted enough time and it was probably his nerves playing tricks on him.

Pulling his jacket collar up to try and stave off the cold, Rito sped up, his fist clenching tightly around the baseball bat.

'_What… What am I doing?!' _Rito thought to himself frantically as his feet followed the route he had walked earlier that day when he had left the strange warehouse. _'This is crazy! I mean sure I have a baseball bat but I am going against some sort of strange alien psycho!' _

He remembered the alien's warning about telling Naruto, _'No… Maybe he won't think I am a threat and whilst his guard is lowered…' _Rito shivered at the fought of actually trying to kill someone. He wasn't a natural fighter but he'd be damned if he let any more harm befall Haruna. He had to save her!

As he approached the fence surrounding the warehouse, he ducked into a bush and tried to assess the situation, wishing that he had grabbed a pair of binoculars or even a digital camera with a decent zoom to try and scope out the area. Satisfied that there were no CCTV cameras, he crept over to the wire fence, letting out a sigh of relief when he found a small section that was damaged enough for him to crawl under. No sooner had he done that than he noticed a few guards patrolling the compound, guards that had not been there earlier.

'_Damn it,' _Rito bit his lip as he tried to stay out of the sight of the guards, keeping low and finally stopping behind a dumpster to catch his breath. He had counted at least ten guards, all travelling in pairs. As far as Rito could tell in the fading light, they were all human.

"Over here!" The nearest pair of guards approached the dumpster. They both appeared relatively tall for a human, although with the padded coats they were wearing it was impossible to tell what they looked like beneath and they wore full face balaclavas to hide their identities. They wandered over to the dumpster and stopped.

"What is it?" The second guard asked uncertainly.

"Hang on a second," One of the guards started to search his pockets.

'_You idiot Rito! They probably have Hi-Tech alien scanners or something!' _Rito gripped the bat tightly and prepared to swing it.

"Ah found them," The guard sounded pleased. There was the sound of a match being lit and the guard took a drag on a cigarette before breathing out a perfect smoke ring. Rito almost let out a sigh of relief but instead kept a tight grip on the bat and prayed that the two guards couldn't hear his heart, which felt as if it were trying to punch its way out of his rib cage. Peering around the corner, Rito saw the guard had lifted his balaclava slightly to show an un-shaven but definitely human chin.

"Show off," The second guard remarked. "Besides looking at the flame ruined our night vision jack ass."

"Night vision? The sun is only just setting," The first guard snorted. "Besides who would be mad enough to sneak in here?"

"The boss paid us to make sure no-one got in here." The second retorted sullenly. "Sorry for being a professional."

"Yeah, yeah," The first leaned against the dumpster. "At least we get to see a few pretty girls right?"

"I don't know how you can find those freaks attractive," The second remarked. "God only knows what the boss does to them, but some of their powers…"

"Oh come on, you were drooling over that blonde that got the cat upgrade."

"Haven't seen her for a while, come to think of it the strange bee lady hasn't been seen for a while. Both were sent on high priority missions involving the Tenjouin heiress."

"How do you know about the missions?"

"I have contacts."

"More like that receptionist you screwed has loose lips in more ways than one."

"Tch, your just jealous." The second guard kicked his boots on the side of the dumpster. "You got another?"

"What? Of these," The shadows implied that the guard waved his cigarette. "This is my last one."

"Of course it is," The second snorted. "Every time I ask for one it is always your last one."

"Not my fault you have terrible timing." The first guard remarked glibly.

"It's not my fault you are a cheapskate."

Before the two could argue there was the hiss of a radio and a voice Rito immediately recognised as the strange woman's.

"Anything to report?" The mad scientist asked.

"No Ma'am," The first guard quickly dropped his cigarette and extinguished it. "All clear out here."

"I see," The voice seemed unimpressed. "If you see anything, report it to me immediately."

"Yes Ma'am." The radio fell silent.

"Freaks me the hell out," The second guard muttered as the two started to walk away from the dumpster.

"I hear she used to be a dude."

"Seriously? Never would've guessed it." The two guards walked away.

Rito waited until their footsteps were some distance away before calming himself and peering from behind the dumpster. There was a large abandoned car park between him and the warehouse where he had been taken.

Fortunately, the guard patrols were all a fair distance from him and in the fading light he was slightly harder to see, although he found himself wishing he had less conspicuous hair. His plans to sneak across were interrupted when all of a sudden all of the guards ran off in the same direction, pulling out hand guns and slightly larger weapons that Rito assumed were SMGs. (Rito was no expert in guns but then again it didn't matter what the gun was to him. If he was hit by it, it was game over).

Thanking his lucky stars, Rito quickly raced across the car park. Whilst it was only around forty metres (if that), it seemed to take him forever to run the distance and he had to take a moment to recover his breath as he reached the door he had left by. It was left open but the warehouse inside was fully lit, showing the woman pacing around irritably with Haruna strapped to a chair. There were large crates stacked throughout the warehouse, offering plenty of hiding places from the warehouse inhabitants.

'_Here goes nothing.' _Rito slipped into the warehouse, bat at the ready and crouched behind some crates as he tried to sneak closer to Haruna, so that he could free her. _'And then what?' _He paused. _'If they all have guns outside then I have to get Haruna-chan out of here without them realising I was ever here. That means… I have to do something about the mad scientist.' _His palms felt sweaty but he shook off the brief feeling of nausea and crept ever closer until her could hear the scientist talking clearly.

"Do we have a report yet?" She seemed to be talking into a radio. "…A wild dog?" She groaned. "All patrols go back to your usual routes!" She tossed the radio onto a desk with a computer on it. "Imbeciles the lot of them. Is it possible to have servants who actually do their jobs correctly?!"

"I apologise mistress," Haruna bowed her head.

'_Mistress? Has she tortured Haruna and broken her?' _Rito bit his lip to fight off the building rage within him.

"So you should. The mission you were created for was simple," The woman scowled at the bound Haruna. "All you had to do was get close enough to the blonde one to administer the poison and then… I would be rid a potential nuisance."

"I apologise mistress."

"Still… At least this way it won't be immediately traced back to me." The woman scowled. "Then again I hear that bitch Ryouko is living with him. No doubt she will put two and two together and realise the poison is mine." She sighed heavily. "Still… I think I will have to revise the G.E.L.F synthesis. Clearly the competency or obedience sectors of your brain could be improved. Out of curiosity… Why did you approach the red haired boy?"

"… I don't know

'_What is going on here?'_Rito paused in his actions. _'What is a G.E.L.F?' _

"To think that I even used some of my own DNA in your creation." The woman scoffed. "And not even of this fake body, of my actual body."

"I apologise Mistress."

"For all the good it would have done me I might as well have used my toenail clippings as your genetic seed!" The woman paused in her rant and sniffed the air. "Oh? It appears we have a guest."

'_Crap, crap, crap.' _Rito took a deep breath.

"You summoned me, milord." A voice Rito hadn't heard before declared.

"Ah Kimimaro-kun," The woman sounded pleased. "I am glad you are back. Is the deed done?"

"Negative. Whilst I wasn't able to enter the household, I was able to do a brief life scan of the building. Uzumaki Naruto is still alive. Judging by the syringe location, I feel safe to assume that the human Yuuki Rito has failed in his attempt on Uzumaki Naruto's life."

"My you almost sound upset at that."

"…Uzumaki Naruto corrupts what he touches."

"Is this about the girl you wish to procure for my experiments?" The woman rubbed her forehead tiredly.

"I believe she is capable of perfection."

"If you capture her then I will experiment on her, if she is as interesting as you say."

"Understood." Kimimaro turned to leave.

"Oh and Kimimaro-kun?"

"Yes Orochimaru-sama?"

"Have my next body ready in the main base. Do not push yourself though. Your body is still recovering from your upgrade."

"As you wish Orochimaru-sama."

Rito waited until the footsteps of the new arrival had left, not sure how many more close-calls his heart could take.

"Oh well, it appears that the plan has gone awry." Orochimaru turned on the bound Haruna. "I suppose since you were a complete failure I should just kill you now."

"STOP!"

"Eh?" Orochimaru turned to face Rito who was stood pointing the baseball bat at her.

Rito blinked stupidly. "I mean… Crap!" He cursed at instinctively yelling out to try and protect Haruna.

"It appears my guards are not worth the money I am paying," Orochimaru sighed.

"I'm here for Haruna!" Rito figured there was no going back now.

"You are… How much of that conversation did you hear?"

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

"Oh you simple, simple creature." Orochimaru laughed mockingly. "You just don't understand anything do you? This isn't the Sarenji girl." She grabbed the bound Haruna and yanked her by the hair, pulling her out of the chair. "This is a GELF…A Genetically Engineered Life Form."

No sooner had Orochimaru finished than 'Haruna' had turned into a strange green slime and leaked from her bindings before reforming as a semi-translucent green slime girl.

"I…" Rito scowled at Orochimaru. "That doesn't matter!"

"…What?" Orochimaru frowned.

"Even so…" Rito shook his head. "I… I can't let you kill her!"

"She is my creation to do with as I want," Orochimaru scoffed before clicking her fingers. "As are these and as you too soon shall be."

The warehouse roof suddenly exploded and two identical girls landed between Rito and Orochimaru. They had blonde hair that fell to their waist and were wearing what looked like a blue and white plastic armour. Transparent blue wings hovered behind them, causing them to float a good foot off of the floor.

"I'll admit; Sol III has offered quite a lot in terms of research materials. Not only are humans incredibly adaptable and compatible with a large variety of alien DNA, they also have so many ancient relics of the Arcangus here. These two are made from human DNA and Arcangus artefacts to create a truly intriguing GELF. Not quite as powerful as the humans who genuinely can wield such power but they should be more than a match for you. When they have captured you, I shall work my magic on you. That Haruna girl likes dogs right? What would you say to having Ceberus DNA implanted in you?" Orochimaru smirked.

"Target identified," The two girls spoke in sync.

"S-stay back!" Rito lifted the bat. "I'm warning you!"

"Engaging."

"C-crap!" Rito leapt behind the crates as the two girls unleashed a barrage of blue energy blasts that created a series of small explosions where they hit. He raced around the crates as they exploded around him until he ran towards one and panicking swung the bat, unintentionally activating the rocket boost swing causing Rito to spin around wildly like a spinning top. One of the two Angel GELFs charged Rito only to get struck squarely in the chest by the rocket powered baseball bat with the equivalent force of a fully laden 18 wheeler truck. The girl soared through the walls of the compound with an almighty crash, skidding to a halt in a crumbled heap with a strange green liquid seeping through her futuristic looking armour and her mouth.

"Threat Level updating…" The second GELF retreated and raised its arms with two glowing spheres forming in each palm.

"I'm going to be sick…" Rito released the baseball bat and fell to his knees, glancing up to see the bat scream towards the emotionless assailant who tried to evade but the erratic path of the missile was too much for the GELF to predict and she took the blow hard, her armour crumpling and her body falling to the ground in a crumbled heap.

"Well…" Orochimaru blinked. "That… That is really disappointing. Oh well… There are plenty more where they came from and now you are without a weapon."

"Oh yeah!" Rito stood glaring at Orochimaru. "W-well… Take this!" Summoning strength that he didn't even know he had, Rito punched Orochimaru in the face causing her to stagger back confused. Using the moment of confusion, he reached out for the slime girl. "Come with me!" Rito grabbed the her and took off racing out of the hole in the warehouse he had made using the Angelic GELF.

"Why are you saving me? If the mistress deems my life is at an end, then that is how it should be."

"Life hell it is!" Rito didn't stop running. "I… Do you want to die?"

"Want?" The slime looked confused. "I was created to serve my mistress. I have no wants."

"That's not right!" Rito raced towards the gap in the fence, vaguely aware of guards shouting at him.

"…" The slime girl just followed in silence, expanding her body to capture the bullets that would have hit the orange haired boy. Fortunately, her slime was dense enough to capture the bullets and she herself was impervious to bullet damage.

There was a sudden cry of pain and Rito glanced over his shoulder to see a familiar blonde assassin behind him.

"Yami?!"

"Mikan sent me to keep an eye on you." Yami intoned bluntly.

"Ah…" The three continued to flee until they had left the warehouse far behind.

"Who is this?" Yami asked.

"This is… er… do you have a name?" Rito smiled weakly.

"Name?"

"Well… I'm Rito, Yuuki Rito."

"Golden Darkness," Yami intoned.

"But we all call her Yami."

"Do not address me so familiarly." A golden lock turned into a blade that pressed against Rito's throat.

"My designation is GELF #145-a."

"That's a bit impersonal…Is it okay if I call you… Jelo?"

"Jelo?" The slime girl tilted her head. "An… An actual name?"

"Don't you like it?" Rito panicked. "I mean…

"Jelo…" She repeated. "I… I feel warm here." She put a hand over where her heart would be. "Is… Is this a breakdown of my genetic code?"

"No… That is happiness." Rito smiled at her.

"How peculiar… The warmth appears to be spreading to my face." Jelo frowned. "Jelo… Jelo… Every time I say it I feel a strange surge of warmth throughout my body."

"Must be a poison." Yami remarked bluntly. "Mikan is waiting."

"I don't think it's poison," Rito smiled at Jelo. "Let's get you to a safe place."

"I, Jelo, can take on any form you wish of me." Jelo remarked, enjoying the strange sensation every time she said her new name "Would you prefer if I took the form of the Haruna you have feelings for?"

"I…" Rito paused before shaking his head. "There no need to change who you are."

"Pardon… I do not understand," Jelo frowned slightly. "Would that form not be more appealing to you?"

"Y0u don't have to be appealing to me," Rito chuckled. "Just be yourself. Er not that you aren't appealing to me," He faltered, "I mean... Er... Sorry I'm not very good at talking to girls or figthing..." His shoulders slumped.

"Yuuki Rito has a kind soul. You are not a warrior but you are a hero none-the-less."

"Ah," Rito blushed at the praise. "Well thanks." He laughed weakly as they continued running towards the only safe place Rito could think of, Naruto's house.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Momo rubbed her temples. "You not only considered killing Naruto but now have brought a GELF, which are illegal by the way, into our house despite her admitting that she is a slave to someone who wanted you to kill Naruto and also apparently has access to an entire army of GELF!"

Rito lowered his head. Most of the gang was stood glaring at him besides Naruto who was still asleep and Lala, who had to be escorted out of the room by her two sisters to stop her trying to kill Rito.

"When you put it like that it does sound bad," Rito weakly laughed.

"No." Momo shook her head. "She can't stay here. You can't stay here."

"I…" Rito bowed his head. "I understand that I betrayed your trust."

"But he was doing…" Mikan tried to defend her brother.

"My main interests are keeping Naruto and the rest of the harem alive, healthy and happy. Naruto allowed Rito into this house and he rewarded him with betrayal."

"I understand." Rito smiled weakly. "I'll leave. But please she is innocent in all this!"

"She is a GELF."

"As am I," Yami pointed out. "Do you wish for me to leave as well?"

"Well no," Momo floundered. "But... She is a weapon created by someone who has every reason to be Naruto's enemy. She cannot be trusted and this thing is..."

"Jelo."

"Pardon?"

"I have the name of Jelo." Jelo bowed her head. "Yuuki Rito assigned me this name. It caused an elevation of temperature which is either happiness or poison."

"...Well she is a weapon and…" Momo tried to contiune until the green slime girl interrupted her again.

"My original purpose if that of an infiltration unit." Her green slime started to reform until Momo found herself staring at an exact duplicate of herself. "All I can do is this." She even sounded like Momo.

"See? She isn't a threat to any of you so please protect her from Orochimaru in my absence." Rito actually got on his knees and bowed with his head to the floor.

"Please get up," Momo bit her lip. "This is just embarrasing."

"Did I miss somthing?" Naruto walked into the room, holding the syringe that Rito had nearly stabbed him with. "Who's this? You clone yourself Momo?"

"I am Jelo," She returned to her usual green slime form and crouched behind the bowing Rito, keeping the boy between her and Naruto.

"And she is just about to leave." Momo coughed.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"Please... Can you keep her safe? I can't defend her in my house and…" Rito never lifted his head from the floor.

"Wait," Naruto picked his teeth with the syringe, causing Momo and Nana to have minor heart attacks. "Why would you have to protect her from your house? Are you leaving here?"

"I… It would be best for him to leave," Momo coughed. "He did try and kill you."

"Rito's not a killer." Naruto smiled at the slime girl who returned to her normal form and hid behind Rito. "Er…"

"You smell like a warrior…" Jelo remarked. "I, Jelo, hate smell of warriors. Many of Orochimaru's servants smell similar."

"Oh," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Anyway," He cleared his throat. "He wouldn't kill me because it isn't in him to kill me. He's a good person." Naruto offered a hand to Rito and helped him stand up. "Besides you don't want me dead do you?"

"Er… No." Rito shook his head, surprised by how uninterested Naruto was in the whole assassination attempt.

"So he can stay."

"But…" Momo rubbed her forehead. "He poses a threat to..."

"He can stay," Naruto repeated more firmly. "Trust me Momo, I know what I am doing." He put a hand on Momo's shoulder, but she merely brushed off with an annoyed sigh.

"Well you can try explaining that to Onee-sama." Momo threw her hands in the air, exasperated by Naruto's apparent lack of self-preservation, and headed to the bedroom.

"I can tell she is pretty furious," Naruto nodded.

"Through your telepathic bond?" Kushina asked.

"That… and the fact that she punched a hole in the wall before climbing into bed next to me and radiating so much rage she actually set the bed on fire."

"… That's angry," Risa whistled before glancing at Rito. "I actually think you are higher up on her List of People she wants to kill than me now. Thanks."

"You're welcome?" Rito laughed awkwardly as the girls broke up the meeting and left the room. "Really I am sorry." He bowed his head to Naruto.

"Meh," Naruto shrugged it off. "You didn't actually do anything so don't worry about it. You know that you could have asked me to help you out."

"I…" Rito trailed off. "I was told that if I told you Haruna would get killed."

"He threatened Haruna-chan." Naruto scowled.

"Well it was actually Jelo pretending to be Haruna." Rito clarified.

"That doesn't really make it any better though."

"Of course not!" Rito looked fired up.

"Huh," Naruto chuckled. "I'll never get you."

"Pardon?"

"You are brave enough to charge into a enemy base to rescue someone... but you can't ask a girl out?"

"The two are completely different," Rito chuckled. "It wasn't bravery just me acting without thinking."

"Which is what I always do. Maybe next time you see Haruna you shouldn't try think so much and just go with the flow? Oh well." Naruto sighed heavily. "Just… If you need anything you know you can talk to any of us here, although I would keep clear of Lala until I've calmed her down."

"Thanks," Rito bowed his head slightly. "I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble."

"Never apologise for saving a life," Naruto turned to Jelo, "Now let's get Mikado to have a look at Jelo here," Naruto blinked as the slime girl shrunk herself so she could hide from him. "Maybe it would be best if you took her there. Show this to Mikado too." He handed the syringe back to Rito.

"You trust me with this?"

"You had the opportunity and a reason to kill me and didn't do it. I think I can trust you with it now." Naruto yawned. "Now if you'll excuse me… I have to try and convince the girls that I know what I am doing." He wandered off. _'And I thought swapping bodies with Lala was going to be the most stressful part of my day.' _

* * *

"Well…" Mikado glanced at the green slime girl who was floating in a cylinder. "You really are something huh?"

Jelo said something but couldn't be heard through the glass.

"So… Is she healthy?" Rito asked weakly, not sure where to start.

"For what she is; yes." Mikado opened the cylinder and the green slime girl oozed out before reforming into the form of girl around Rito's age.

"What does that mean?" Rito frowned.

"Listen, she is an engineered life form, she was designed to serve a purpose."

"To seduce Naruto Uzumaki and lure him into the mistress' trap." Jelo nodded. "I am programmed to take the appearance of the person closest to my target's heart. Unfortunately looking at Uzumaki Naruto gives me a headache and I am unable to successfully imitate the person closest to his heart so I was classed as a failure and cast away. Then I ran into Yuuki Rito and Orochimaru-sama had an idea to use Yuuki Rito as his assassin."

"Right," Mikado sat down. "She's… She's kind of like disposable razor."

"What?" Rito blinked.

"Sorry that was a bad way of putting it," Mikado frowned. "But the reasoning still stands. Unlike the more expensive re-usable types, Jelo here was not designed for long term use."

"Isn't there anything you could do?"

"Unfortunately there is very little I can do," Mikado shook her head slowly.

"She is like me, is she not?" Yami stepped from the shadows. "Yet my functional lifetime is considerably larger than two weeks."

"In a way," Mikado frowned. "However your abilities are powered by the 'Judgement Core' or the Darkness: An ancient artefact that dates back to the era of the Damus and the Arcangus. If we had access to another one, then maybe I could do something about Jelo but as she is… It just isn't possible."

"Oh…" Rito's shoulders slumped.

"Why is Yuuki Rito exhibiting signs of sorrow? I, Jelo, do not understand."

"I…I just don't think it's fair," Rito glanced at Jelo, "You spent your whole life as that crazy woman's servant. You never got to experience the fun things about life and… well."

"Crazy woman?" Mikado blinked, "Orochimaru is in a woman's body now?"

"What?" Rito blinked. "She can swap bodies?"

"It's more complicated than that," Mikado frowned, "But to explain it would require a knowledge of biology that unfortunately humanity has yet to achieve. For the sake of ease just think of it as a brain and soul transplant."

"Mistress recently acquired the body of a female human for the purpose of integrating with society." Jelo blinked. "She requires a new body every month although the time until the complete degradation of the host body is getting shorter. The cells are aging far more rapidly than they should."

"Kind of the opposite issue to Nana," Mikado remarked. "Her aging appears to have halted for some reason."

"Wait Nana is immortal?!" Rito blinked.

"I never said that," Mikado chastised him softly, "What I mean is she won't grow old, at least not physically. Lala and myself have been looking into it to see if it actually has any other effects. If she isn't actually aging, then the possible medical benefits from understanding why it has happened to her…" Mikado smiled.

"What are you going to do with the knowledge? Help cure her?" Rito asked.

"That's what I think we should do," Mikado nodded. "But Lala wants us to 'infect' the others should it be possible to. That way everyone will live for the same time."

"But… If you solved it you could use it with Jelo right?"

"I have made very little progress over the past few months. I severely doubt that I can solve the mystery in four days."

"But you can't just give up," Rito protested.

"I'm not going to," Mikado assured him. "So why don't you do Jelo a favour?"

"What like?"

"Show her the world," Mikado turned to her computer and stared at the results. "If all she knows is Orochimaru's labs, maybe you could take her to the cinema or go for a walk around town."

"Like a date?" Rito blushed. Slime girl or not, Jelo did have an attractive figure.

"A date?" Jelo frowned slightly. "I recall these being implanted into my head by Orochimaru-sama during my creation."

"A date is where two people who care about each other spend time together." Mikado smiled.

"Does Rito Yuuki care about me, Jelo?"

"Er… I mean…" Rito rubbed the back of his head embarrassed.

"He did save you after all," Mikado chuckled.

"Then let us go on a date!" Jelo announced happily.

"Ah… well…" Rito flushed at the slime girl's declaration.

"In the morning," Mikado pointed to the clock. "You've had a long enough night as it is."

"Right." Rito headed to his room.

"Oh and Rito? Make sure to feed Jelo. They can digest almost anything but seem to favour a certain kind of naturally produced liquids from men."

"W-w-w-what?!" Rito stepped back. "Like in those monster girl books?!"

"So they were your books." Mikan's amused voice sounded from behind Rito causing him to spin around.

"Er… Kenichi leant them to me!" Rito squeaked. In fact, the books had just appeared in his room one day but Rito knew Mikan wouldn't accept this.

The truth of the matter was that Risa and Momo kept buying said books and leaving them in Naruto's room to try and give him some ideas for some more kinky fun. Kushina also added a few but they were all cosplay and roleplay magazines (the monster girls one was one of Kushina's). Yui would find the books when she visited and order the cleaning robots to get rid of them because she refused to touch such shameless literature. Unfortunately for Rito, the cleaning bots decided to hide the books under his bed. Lala wasn't sure why as it wasn't in their programming but as Rito wasn't complaining, decided not to do anything about it.

"Don't go teaching Jelo anything weird." Mikado joked as the embarrassed Rito fled with Jelo clinging to him. "Just feed her literally anything. She can dissolve it and draw nutrients from it."

"Well at least he seems happier," Mikan smiled softly.

"Going to stop worrying about him now?"

"He's my big brother." Mikan shook her head. "I'll never stop worrying about him. Especially given the choice of literature I found under his bed," Mikan blushed.

"You do know that the rooms are self-cleaning right? There is no need to do it anymore. Unless you were hoping to find something like that. Are you disappointed there were no little sister books?"

"W-w-what?!" Mikan staggered backwards.

"Ah sorry, It's Naruto-kun you like isn't it?"

"T-that's not true," Mikan cleared her throat. "As for why I clean Rito's room...Well… I always have. We look out for each other," Mikan smiled softly. "We might tease each other but we are brother and sister, it's only natural." She coughed awkwardly. "Unlike the relationship you are suggesting."

"If you say so," Mikado shrugged. "I was an only child. The closest I every had to a sister was Tearju."

"So…" Mikan fidgeted as Mikado started reading a report. "Have you looked into that thing I mentioned?"

"I'll never get why they young are so eager to mature." Mikado shook her head with a wistful smile. "Here," She reached into her desk and produced a small silver flask that she handed to Mikan. "This contains a liquid that will help with your request."

Mikan eagerly took a sip before scowling. "This is milk."

"Yup," Mikado winked. "A glass after a hot bath will help those breasts of yours grow just fine. Failing that you can get someone you like to massage them~ Do you want me to ask Naruto-kun? Or would you prefer me to ask Rito?"

"He is my brother!" Mikan glared at the busty nurse before leaving her lab, although it amused Mikado to see her take the milk and keep drinking it but was interrupted by an alarm sounding.

"So it looks like analysis is completed," Mikado headed over to a computer that had a flashing holographic display. "Huh… This is interesting." Mikado stroked her chin. "Naruto needs to see this."

* * *

"Hey Lala," Naruto walked into the bedroom where the sulking princess was sat staring at a holographic sphere.

"Humph," Lala crossed her arms and looked away from him.

"I see you are still angry with me," Naruto sighed. "Guess I'll sleep on the couch."

"No!" Lala grabbed his arm. "You will stay here and let me be angry with you!"

"Okay?" Naruto chuckled weakly and sat down next to Lala as she stared intently at the sphere. "What are you watching?"

"Alternative realities." Lala said simply.

"…What?"

"Whenever I get sad or lonely when you are off on your adventures I always invent some stuff; this is something that I threw together whilst you were unconscious after I rescued you."

"By crashing a frigate into Manda's ship and nearly killing me?"

"Muuu…" Lala pouted, before remembering she was supposed to be mad with Naruto and scowling again. "But this allows me to look into various dimensions to distract myself."

"And this one?" Naruto glanced at the screen.

"Why don't you watch it with me?" Lala asked. "Maybe it might show you a reality where you don't listen to me and then you will see how horrible it is!" Lala declared proudly.

"I'm not apologising for not kicking Rito and Jelo out." Naruto remarked dryly and sat watching the screen. "So how do you use it?"

"Like this," Lala lazily flicked her hand across the screen until it focused on a strange scene.

A red haired woman was dressed in a skin tight black skin suit that covered her entire body, leaving little to the leaning against a wall in a large marble hallway. Her red hair fell to her shoulders and she was sat tapping a foot impatiently.

"Onee-sama!" A cheerful Lala ran down the hall way wearing a ballroom dress.

"Princess." The girl pushed herself off the wall.

"Say Onee-sama," Lala smiled. "I'm all sweaty after dancing so much!" Lala wiped her forehead for emphasis.

"…If Hime-sama had fun then that is fine by me. It would be wise for you to bathe. Your suitors would probably dislike seeing you hot and bothered."

"Like I I would have had more fun if Naru-neesama would join me," Lala pouted.

"…It would be improper." The now named Naru remarked bluntly.

"But Onee-sama…" Lala pouted.

"I am your bodyguard. Nothing more." Naru bowed her head.

"…Onee-sama," Lala bit her lip. "I hate this

"Hime-sama?" Naru blinked as the princess buried her face into Naru's ample bosom.

"I hate pretending to be just your sister." Lala looked up tears in her eyes.

"Lala-chan," Naru softly ruffled her head, before lifting her chin and kissing her softly.

"Ooh!" Lala (The real one) clapped as she watched the image. "I love this channel!"

"Is that a female me?" Naruto blinked. "Who looks more like my mother whereas I look more like my dad?"

"Pretty much, although your dad isn't a human in that reality," Lala beamed. "Papa is. You are my half-sister and we have this whole forbidden romance thing going on! Oh and your mother never actually left so she is still a respected Devilukian Commander. Of course this means there are those who want to kill the me of that dimension so that you become the legitimate heir, as they would prefer a full devilukian rather than a half-breed as the future empress."

"Oh," Naruto blinked.

"It is such a sad story too," Lala hugged her legs to her chest. "I know that the Naruto and Lala of that dimension love each other as we love each other but they can't be together because of the Law and the whole political scene. It is so sad."

"Okay," Naruto blinked.

"Then there is a reality where I was so depressed about being in the suitor games so I made myself the perfect suitor using the DNA of the strongest Devilukian champions and programming the creation to be the perfect partner. But when he (he was you by the way) woke up, he panicked and tried to rebel against his programming and fought his way out of my lab. Being composed from the greatest fighters he easily escaped but was shot down in orbit over Earth and crashed landed in front of Yui Kotegawa when she was returning home from school. You had severe amnesia but were convinced you were a demon whose job it was to grant wishes since that was what Yui thought you were when she saw your tail. I don't like the fact that Yui-chan seems to be your love interest in that dimension and I am more of an antagonist because I try and take you away from her…"

"Oh…" Naruto blinked. "I suppose eventually I will stop getting surprised by the things you can do but today is not that day. You really are a genius aren't you?"

"Hehe…" Lala beamed. "No wait! I'm mad at you! Stupid Naruto."

"I'm sorry," Naruto wrapped an arm around Lala and hugged her to himself. "But I can't just kick them out, especially if Orochimaru decides she wants Jelo back."

"I know…" Lala leaned into the hug, "It just… annoys me that you seem to have little to no instinct when it comes to self-preservation. It never occured to you that Rito was allowed to bring Jelo here so she could assassinate you."

"I'll be fine…" Naruto assured her and lifted her and put her on his lap. "I appreciate you worrying about me but I can't just kick them out."

"Why?" Lala gave a knowing look at Naruto. "Hoping this Jelo will distract Rito-kun from Haruna?"

"Did you say something?" Naruto stroked Lala's tail causing her body to shudder.

"Eep?" Lala squeaked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his chin on her shoulder, his breath tickling her.

"Rito isn't our enemy," Naruto rubbed Lala's arms. "And I have no ulterior motives here. If Rito wants Jelo to be the safe then so do I."

"Okay," Lala mumbled as she leant back into the embrace. "But you still need punishing."

"What for? Having faith in my friends?"

"You ignored what everyone else wanted." Lala stretched out her legs. "If you are to be the leader of the harem you need to pay attention to what everyone thinks, it's the best way to ensure everyone is happy."

"I don't have a harem but point taken," Naruto sighed. "I suppose being diplomatic would be useful when I become emperor huh?"

"Oh silly Naruto," Lala chuckled. "The emperor doesn't need to use diplomacy. He just yells at people and threatens to kill them. It is the empress who uses diplomacy."

"…Gid has really set the bar low hasn't he?" Naruto chuckled.

"Papa is a far better emperor than the last one." Lala replied.

"He must have been a really terrible emperor."

"He worshipped a Damus of misery and tried to plunge the entire galaxy into war and misery, pitted his own flesh and blood against each other in mortal combat and then was so disgusted by the winner (I.e. Papa) that he kidnapped youths from other races and planets and had them fight each other to the death, at least that was his plan but Papa actually united them and rebelled against Grandpapa."

"Oh… I think I remember hearing something about that when I went back in time." Naruto remarked. "I think I fought one of his agents. On that note, how are things going with that time machine?"

"I basically need a star that is exactly the right size to go supernova." Lala remarked. "Then when it starts to fall into a black hole I have to use one of my other inventions that uses a damus artefact to freeze it in time just before it turns into a true black hole. It has an amazing amount of energy in it, well it has almost infinite mass anyway."

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

Lala pulled her D-Dial from her cleavage and pressed a few buttons, summoning the time machine. She expertly dismantled it and held up a black pearl. "This little pearl has theoretical infinite mass and in the right equipment it can be converted to theoretically infinite energy. Time travel requires a lot of energy and each one of these can only take so many uses before they break. I'd use the power source from the Damus artefact but no-one understands how they work so we have to rely on extremely rare 'Anomaly Peals' as they are called on the black market."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Naruto frowned. "Storing all the energy of a black hole in such a small pearl? Can't it break out?"

"Not at all," Lala laughed and threw the pearl in the air and caught it. "The energy of the black hole is used to power it so by the time they can brake they have barely any energy left. Fortunately, the mass is stored in another dimension otherwise it would be impossible to move."

"Is… Is that even possible?!" Naruto held the pearl in his hand. It was so dark that it seemed to draw light in and felt as if it was sapping the heat from his hand. "You really are a genius…"

"Well," Lala reassembled the time machine and stored it away. "If you keep flattering me… maybe I'll let you off lightly," She nuzzled into him.

"I think I know of a way to win you favour," Naruto nibbled on Lala's ear.

"Two nights in a row~" Lala giggled softly, "Won't the others get jealous?"

"I'm sure I'll think of some way to make it up to the others," Naruto kissed her softly.

"Hey Naruto," Mikado walked into the room. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"…What is it Mikado-sensei?" Naruto sighed.

"I've analysed the poison, good news the parts are incredibly rare and as such it was easy to track where they could have come from and we shouldn't have to worry about seeing any more of it. It is a very potent Anti-Devilukian poison that causes your immune system to basically target your own body. A very painful and slow death."

"That's a bit of a mood killer," Naruto sighed.

"Not if you try a little harder," Lala mumbled.

"The thing is, this poison has a very short life span." Mikado smiled. "It has to be administered within one day of it being brewed and the process for its production is very complicated and energy demanding. Whoever is making this poison would have to make it on Earth and would need a power source beyond a traditional Earth one, which would give a unique reading that we could find."

"So we find this power source, we find Orochimaru?"

"Hopefully."

"Well then, let's get right on it." Naruto grinned. "The sooner I kick this guys ass the sooner life can go back to what passes for normal around here."

"It will take a day or so to scan." Mikado started to leave the room. "So feel free to pay me a visit once you have finished with Lala."

"To discuss our plan of attack?"

"And that yes," Mikado winked as she left. "But I was thinking of that help you promised to me." She chuckled as she shut the door and went to her lab.

"I'd best get some training in," Naruto stood up. "If I am going to fight Orochimaru soon."

"It can wait until the morning." Lala purred.

"But I might have to fight tomorrow." Naruto countered.

"It can wait until the morning," Lala repeated as she allowed her bed clothes to fall to the floor, revealing her naked body.

"…It can wait until the morning," Naruto agreed.

* * *

The small café was a hive of activity with quite a few students all hanging around, having exhausted most of the other forms of entertainment whilst the school went through the evidence to fully prove the innocence of the principal. Usually the courts operated under the premise of innocent until proven guilty but given the principal's usual behaviour opted for a guilty unless it can be proven without a doubt he was innocent. Unfortunately, the principal wasn't doing himself any favours there, declaring his innocence and his love for young girls, often in the same breath.

It was in the busy café where Rito found himself sitting with a bemused expression as a girl that looked so familiar to the female form of his, only with black hair and sparkling green eyes. It turned out that Jelo could only take on the forms of people she had seen. She couldn't invent a disguise, only being able to base it on images that she had already seen. In this instance she was disguised as a female Riko with Yui's hair. The two had just watched a movie that Mikan had recommended, a beautiful love story that had Rito on the verge of tears. Jelo didn't seem as moved though and Rito was worried that he wasn't helping her enjoy her precious freedom. Hence the visit to the cafe, a place Naruto said Yui loved to visit and the food wasn't too expensive. It was the ideal place to have an informal chat.

"So… What do you want to eat?" Rito tilted his head.

"Owa~ What is that sweet smell~" Jelo looked around the small café eagerly. "I, Jelo, have never smelt something so amazing."

"Well there are cakes, ice cream and…"

"What would Yuuki Rito eat?" Jelo asked.

"Er me?" Rito laughed weakly. "Well I would probably get a small slice of chocolate cake I guess?"

"Then I, Jelo, will have that then!" She clapped her hands eagerly.

"Okay," Rito flagged down a waitress who bobbed her head cutely.

"How can I help the young couple?" She smiled.

"C-couple?" Rito gulped nervously before smiled weakly, "Er… Could I order two chocolate cakes please?"

"Right away," The maid tilted her head with her tongue stuck out slightly as she jotted down the order on a note pad. "And drinks?"

"I, Jelo, would like that one," She pointed at a large drink with two straws in it that another waitress was carrying to another table.

"Oh hoh," The waitress winked. "The Lovey Dovey Couple's Special! Right away!" The maid smiled knowingly before heading into the back of the café.

"So… What else happens on a date?"

"You don't know?" Rito blinked.

"Mistress never bothered to inform of anything other than the erogenous zones of a human and how to act in order to seduce them. also saw a few small clips of Sarenji Haruna in order to replicate her image and voice." Jelo remarked.

"Why do you talk like that?" Rito finally decided to ask.

"Like what?"

"You seem to like saying your name a lot."

"Oh… I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." Jelo's shoulders drooped.

"Ah it's not that I mind," Rito bit his lip.

"It's just… I have never owned anything before…" Jelo looked at the table, "I was just so happy to have a name… something that belonged to me. It makes me feel… happy (or poisoned if Yami is correct)."

"Well…" Rito clenched his fists. "You'd better get used to that feeling. I'm going to show you all the joys of life!"

"Oh my!" The waitress swooned. "How romantic!"

"Eh?" Rito blinked stupidly as the two cakes were put on the table.

"Oh never mind me you two," The waitress laughed before leaving them with their cake. "Your drink will be along shortly."

"It looks so nice!" Jelo picked up the plate with the cake on it, then simply pushed it into her stomach, her true gelatinous body showing around her stomach before slowly parting and swallowing up the plate and cake which dissolved into nothingness before her skin returned to the disguise.

"Ah…" Rito glanced around but no one seemed to have noticed.

"Hehehe…" She suddenly started giggling. "That was nice!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Can I have yours?" Her eyes seemed to grow.

"Er… Sure.

"Yahaa!" Jelo laughed as she picked up the plate and it joined the first in her stomach. "Hehehe…" She started giggling. "I, Jelo, usually just dissolves rats and rubbish. This food is strange and makes me all tingly!"

"You… You weren't supposed to eat the plates…" Rito laughed weakly as their drink arrived, a giant milkshake with two curly-straws poking out of the top of the glass forming the shape of a heart.

"Look, with these you suck on the straw like this," Rito started to sip at the drink and Jelo mimicked him. Rito suddenly became very aware of the fact their noses were touching and Jelo was staring at him with her bright, sparkling eyes. "S-see…" Rito quickly stopped drinking and leaned back as his date emptied the glass with a satisfied slurp.

"That was really nice!" Jelo beamed at him.

"Ah," Rito laughed weakly and rubbed the back of his head. "So… I was wondering if there is anything else you'd like to do? "

"Whatever Yuuki Rito decides I will do." Jelo remarked happily.

"R-right," Rito frowned as he struggled to think of something to do.

"Yuuki-kun?"

"Sarenji-san?" Rito glanced at a shocked looking Haruna, "What are you doing here?"

"My big sister asked me to pick up some cakes for her," Haruna fidgeted. "Erm… Who is this?"

"Jelo… I mean my name is Jelo," She beamed at Haruna.

"Jelo?" Haruna blinked.

"Yuuki Rito gave me this name. I like it!" Jelo replied with a hint of annoyance.

"Ah sorry." Haruna bowed her head. "I meant no disrespect but it is a strange name. Wait… Yuuki-kun named you?"

"And now he is taking me on a date because we care for each other." Jelo remarked.

"Oh my," Haruna bowed her head. "I didn't mean to intrude…" She bowed her head deeper. "I… er… Will see you at school." She ran out of the store.

"Ah…" Rito's shoulders slumped. _'Damn… Haruna-chan misunderstood the situation.' _

"Ah, Did Sarenji-chan leave so soon?" A maid walked up with a small bag full of cakes. "She forgot her order, say she seems to know you." She handed the bag to Rito. "Will you take these cakes to her? She already paid after all."

"Sure!" Rito leapt to his feet, far too eager and slipped forward falling on the maid and pushing her to the floor, groping her left breast.

"Er..." Rito went bright red as the maid went pale. "I'm so sorry!" He grabbed the cakes and fled, followed by the cheerful slime girl.

"Are we finished eating?" Jelo tilted her head.

"Yes!" Rito panted. "We have to take this to Haruna-chan." _'And I need to avoid that cafe for the rest of my life.' _

"The... The pervert!" The maid back in the cafe got to her feet. "Crap! I forgot to ask him to pay his bill! The cheapskate pervert!" She stamped angrily.

* * *

"Are we sure this is the right place?" Naruto asked as he looked around the desolate wasteland. Mikado had managed to find a peculiar energy reading out in the middle of nowhere and Naruto took the Kyuubi, his mother's old spacecraft, to investigate it.

[100% sure. You should be stood right on top of the power source and it matches with what little Jelo knew about Orochimaru's base of operations.] Mikado's voice assured him from the concealed ear piece he was wearing. She was currently sat in the Kyuubi along with Yui who was piloting. She was surprisingly good at it which only served to irritate Lala, who was banned from even being in the cockpit of a ship after the whole Manda ship incident. Mikan and Yami were stalking Rito's date whilst Momo and Nana watched the house. Kushina was training in the simulation room with Risa offering assistance.

"Really?" Naruto looked around with a sigh. "Where am I anyway?" There was nothing but sand as far as the eye could see.

[In the middle of the Sahara Desert. There is probably a secret entrance hidden around somewhere.]

"Got any clues for me?" Naruto looked

[I'm getting faint readings from the local area. Could be some sort of patrol, try and kick up a fuss and get them to come to you.] Mikado suggested.

"Okay," Naruto felt his aura flare up. "Akuma Danmaku!" He launched a blitz of small blasts of energy at the sand all around him and was rewarded with a mouthful of sand as the explosions threw it up into the air. "Well that achieved noth-" Naruto was cut off by a kick colliding with the side of his face and sent him sprawling into a sand dune.

"Hostile identified." A blanc female voice remarked.

"Well that's one way to say hello," Naruto pulled himself out of the dune and saw a small group of five blonde haired, angel-looking creatures. "Why do I have the feeling that this is going to end in a fight?"

"Hostile Identification in process…" They spoke as a unified chorus.

"Listen, I really don't want to fight you," Naruto stretched out. "Just point me in the direction of your base and then I will be on my way."

"Target identification completed. Target: Naruto Uzumaki. Known Aliases: Naruto Namikaze, Favoured Suitor, Harem Lord."

"If we could go and forget that last one," Naruto mumbled. "But you seem to know a lot about me and I don't have the slightest clue who you are." He looked at the five identical women. "So I'm guessing you are either clones or Gelfs," He crossed his arms. "Which means I am in the right place."

"Suggested course of action: Eliminate target."

"Of course," Naruto sighed as they pointed their arms at Naruto. "It was too much to ask that you would just show me to your base wasn't it?"

They launched a barrage of blue bolts of energy that struck Naruto and the sand around him, kicking up a small sand storm. They continued the barrage for a good few minutes before pausing and trying to see through the smoke and sand.

"Searching for Life signs… None detected." The five angels turned and began to leave.

"Hmm…" Naruto watched them from the dune he had teleported to, brushing off the slight burns from their attacks. "Let's see just where you guys came from."

Fortunately, his assailants appeared to have a one track mind and now that they had deemed him destroyed, focused purely on returning to whether it was they had come from. Naruto kept his distance but they never once stopped to look over their shoulder. Part of Naruto wondered if he was being led into a trap but they were his only lead.

They suddenly stopped before disappearing in a flash of light.

"Son of a bitch!" Naruto cursed as he ran towards their last location. "They teleported away or something? Damn it!" He kicked the sand which made a metallic noise. "Huh?"

He crouched down and realised there was some sort of platform, invisible to the naked eye.

"How does this thing work?" Naruto tried stepping on it with no luck. "Okay err… Teleport! No? Transport! For crying out loud take me to Orochimaru's base you stupid heap of-" There was a sudden sensation as if every atom in Naruto's body suddenly split apart and then were put back together again. "Crap?!" He stumbled forwards onto to a smooth white floor. The uncomfortable heat of the desert was replaced by a gentle, refreshing breeze. Besides glowing white orbs in the ceiling, there was nothing else that caught Naruto's eye.

[####-tuo! ###-nnection is ####- you okay?] The line to Mikado was full of static.

"I'm okay," Naruto assured her as he walked through the corridor. It reminded Naruto of the ship that he had found Mikado on, all clean, sterile corridors with a lot of lab equipment lying around. There was no sign of the angels that had lead him here or anyone else for that matter. "Well this doesn't feel like a trap." He scowled. "Well no sense in waiting around."

He wandered into one of the labs, trying to guess what the equipment was for.

[There… I have restored contact via the drone Momo has following you.]

"It followed me in here?!" Naruto glanced around, knowing all too well that he wouldn't be able to see his electronic stalker.

[Apparently so… Hmm that's some serious lab equipment. That looks like a centrifuge and I would say that… That's an auto-titrator. That looks like a mess spectrometer and…]

"Can you tell me what they would be used for?"

[Could be anything. I do know that the records on the table are all genetic sequences.]

Naruto glanced at a desk covered with a series of different documents. "Can you make any sense of it?"

[Judging from what we already know from Yugito and Suzembachi, I would assume that he was working on merging different alien DNA with human DNA to create the hybrids we have already seen.]

"Oh yeah? How is Suzembachi?"

"As well as anyone who was sent to Hanabi-chan's bootcamp can be."

"I'm sure it isn't that bad..."

* * *

"Every bone in my body hurts honey," Suzembachi groaned as she sat in the servant's canteen. Yugito was sat opposite of her and both of them were wearing maid's outfits.

"Oh what training did Hanabi-sama have you doing?" Yugito asked.

"She loaned me to some Special Forces agents to storm a terrorist compound." Suzembachi groaned. "And the wierdest thing was... all of the terrorists were blue eyed and blonde."

"Hanabi always seems to find the terrorists that look like Uzumaki-san. She seems to have... strong opinions on the Uzumaki boy who 'recruited' us."

"That certainly explains the training dummies... but doesn't she have a dakimakura of him?"

"I wouldn't try and understand the Hanabi-sama's feelings for Uzumaki-kun." Yugito paused as her phone rung. "Ah... No rest for the wicked."

"What happened?"

"Some one commented on one of Saki-dono's pictures that she looked slightly fat." Yugito brushed off her outfit. "Hanabi-sama has charged me to... educate the commenter on manners."

"Ah I just got assigned another training errand." Suzembachi groaned. "She wants me to go to Switzerland and get Saki-sama some chocolate."

"Really?" Yugito watched as Suzembachi stood up. "Have you finished you 10 K jog and 1000 sit ups for today?"

"I finished them around four in the morning. How fortunate today is a light exercise day. I only have to fly to Switzterland with my 50 kg training weights on." She sighed. "Oh well, still beats working for Orochimaru. I don't have to worry about Saki stealing my body."

"That's Saki-sama to you," The entire staff replied automatically.

"...My bad honeys," Suzembachi sweatdropped.

* * *

"I mean, what sort of training does a maid have to do?" Naruto shook his head as he walked through the corridors. "Cleaning and maybe cooking?"

[Given the loyalty her staff shows Saki, I would imagine some sort of brainwashing takes place.]

"...Did I do the right thing by letting Saki look after them?" Naruto wondered aloud.

He walked through a door into an area labelled 'Research Archives' and found several computers and whiteboards littered with strange equations and a few dossiers on various people but what caught his eye was a board labelled 'Defective Subjects' with various holographic pictures and notes.

"What the hell…" Naruto felt his stomach retch as he looked at the pictures. "Are you seeing this?" There were pictures of human children of all sorts of backgrounds. Next to them were notes such as 'Subject 32b: Died due to Cardiac complications' or 'Subject 11c(ii): Died due to immune system rejecting foreign DNA sample' and pictures of what must have been the children after modification, although that was a guess as there were few if any human features on the last pictures.

[Failed subjects,] Mikado sighed sadly. [As I expected. There was no way that he reached the level of DNA manipulation he has without experimenting on people. He's probably a firm believer in having to break a few eggs to make an omelette.]

"Break a few eggs?! These were children!" Naruto clenched his fists.

[Children are more adaptable than adults when it comes to genetic modification plus they don't fight back as much. They were probably orphans that he either officially adopted or just picked up off the streets. Some countries really don't care about what they do with them. Not that I am saying what he was doing is right. From a moral stand point it is abhorrent but it makes a sort of logical sense if you abandon your morals.]

"This is wrong," Naruto shook his head and stepped away. "This place needs destroying."

[Wait! Don't do anything rash!]

"Mikado-sensei?"

[Yes, what was done here was horrible but it has already happened. Destroying this place isn't going to change that. If I am right, the research here could help massively. There could be work that could help saves lives in there. Orochimaru might be insane but he is a genius. He made Jelo after all. Maybe some way to prolong her life could be found aboard this ship.

"Tch," Naruto scowled. "I don't like it but you are the smarter of us." He rubbed the back of his head and continued his journey. "Where am I?"

[Readings are unclear. I think you are on board Orochimaru's ship. He must have hidden under the desert in a extra dimensional space."

"Like the Bunta clan," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "They have their entire operation hidden underneath Tokyo." He paused as he came to the end of the corridor and the automatic door slid into the wall allowing him access to a huge room, well maybe calling it a room wouldn't be right. The walls went up so high Naruto could have sworn he saw clouds. As far as the eye could see the walls were lined with what looked like life pods. There was an eerie silence, broken only by the gentle hum of electronics and ventilation systems.

[It appears the data Jelo provided is correct. Those are life pods and I would wager each of them has a G.E.L.F in it. The rejected G.E.L.F who showed signs of free will...]

"Unlike those angel things that attacked me." Naruto walked down the middle of the room, pausing as he saw a hooded figure stood next to a console. "Is that some sort of hologram?"

"So… we meet again for the first time." An oily voice sneered from the hologram.

"Do I know you?" Naruto scowled.

"Not yet but I am sure in time we will get very familiar of each other." The hooded figure gestured to a chair next to the console. "Please take a seat."

"I think I'll stay standing if it's the same to you." Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Suit yourself. I am sure you have guessed that I am Orochimaru."

"I was told you were a woman, or at least in a woman's body."

"I have many bodies to suit the situation. So how do you like my work? I believe you have had the pleasure of meeting several of my lovely creations? Kimimaro-kun is quite keen to meet you again. He seems quite fond of the angelic swordswoman that protects the Tenjouin girl."

"You want to try and capture her again?" Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"Losing two of my best creations is enough for me," Orochimaru chuckled. "At least that human friend of yours only took a simple infiltration GELF that will expire in a few days anyway."

"You created Jelo right?"

"…You've named it? How precious!" Orochimaru clapped his hand together in a mocking fashion. "But yes the GELF that the human stole from me was created by me. I even used some of my original DNA in its creation. You could say it was like my child."

"And I can tell you are so cut up about losing her." Naruto scowled.

"Yes, yes." Orochimaru waved his hand dismissively. "Although I like to think that all my creations are my children. You could say this is like my womb."

"Let's not," Naruto shivered. "But you left your 'children' unguarded."

"Oh please," Orochimaru smirked. "My children have quiet an adequate protector. In fact one that has managed to defeat my most skilled agents."

"What?"

"You see much like… 'Jelo' was it? My children here all have free will. They are created from human DNA bound to Arcangus artefacts but are very much alive by your standards. They are completely innocent."

"What are you getting at?"

"You see... I was wracking my mind on how to deal with you." The hologram sighed dramatically. "Really the GELF was a last ditch effort to remove you quietly. Since that failed I had all but given up. I've had to make a few improvements to Kimimaro but he is out of commission until the changes are complete."

"Changes?"

"I am sure you will see in the not too distant future. Well, you will if you survive this."

"This?" Naruto staggered as the entire room lurched.

[Naruto! The ship has just warped into low orbit of Earth and is broadcasting the contents to the local Charmian fleet. They are on course to intercept.]

"You see, the Charmian's are quite keen on hoarding all of the Arcangus artefacts and I may have sealed them inside these prototype GELF. The Charmians will slaughter them for the artefacts." Orochimaru chuckled darkly. "And they are quite helpless yet living creatures much like Jelo."

"I thought the Charmains were a peaceful people."

"They usually are... except when the Arcangus come into it.

"You complete bastard," Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"So what will it be?" Orochimaru laughed. "Will you fight to protect the innocent creatures or will you side with the charmians and let them get slaughtered?"

"Why should I believe anything you say? Those angels that attacked me in the desert were completely emotionless robots. For all I know these could be exactly the same!"

"I would love to chat further but it appears your ts are arriving. If you do survive I look forward to our next encounter. Ciao." The hologram flickered into nothing.

"That bastard," Naruto glanced at what must have been thousands of life pods lining the walls. _'Suggestions?' _

'_**There is only one way to see if they truly are alive. You must have sex with all of them.' **_

'_Any sane suggestions?' _

'_Ask them if they cried at Maes Hughes' funeral. If not, then they are not sentient and are heartless monsters that should be destroyed.' _

'_I'll take that as a no shall I?' _Naruto rolled his eyes and wandered up to a life pod. Inside it was a girl of a similar age to him floating there in the foetal position, her amble busts pressed up against her legs. She had short hair with some sort of strange cybernetic device where her ears would have been that made Naruto think of dog ears. She also had what looked like two short angel wings on her back. A metal plaque on the pod merely said 'Ikaros'.

The one next to it had a smaller looking girl, who had much longer hair in twin tails. Her figure was more similar to Mikan and Nana and had no wings that Naruto could see and her strange cybernetic ears were pointing towards the back of her head. Her pod had 'Nymph' inscribed on it. Both of the girls were wearing white outfits with black stripes as well as a collar around their necks which were chained to the pods they were in.

"These all look different," Naruto mumbled as he looked at more of them.

[If I were to hazard a guess I would say that these are all failures that were marked to be destroyed. Why else would Orochimaru have left them here on the off chance you would fight to defend them?] Mikado suggested.

Before Naruto could answer the doors to the storage facility hissed open and a small group of five humanoids advanced, pointing what Naruto assumed to be some sort of energy rifle at him. They were all wearing white armour that reminded Naruto of the enemies that he had seen in a sci fi film once, except there weren't wearing helmets and had strange wreaths around their foreheads instead. They all were handsome looking and strolled towards him with an air of pompousness.

"Halt trespasser! This ship is carrying contraband materials in a no-fly zone. You will surrender to the Charmian fleet immediately!" The guard at the front ordered.

"Seriously?" Naruto crossed his arms. "The number of alien mishaps that have happened on Earth and you haven't been seen but the moment that you get a whiff of some Arcangus artefacts you swarm all over it."

"Sir, readings show he is human… or at least mostly human." One of the guards whispered to the leader.

"So you were abducted and experimented on?" The lead guard lowered his rifle, "You must be very confused of what is happening. Do not worry, we are not here to harm you."

"Sir, he mentioned Arcangus artefacts… A human shouldn't really know about them."

"That… That is true," The lead guard scowled at Naruto. "Stand to one side and let us to our job human."

"Which is?"

"The recovery of the artefacts on this ship."

"Suit yourself," Naruto stood to one side with arms crossed as the guards walked over to one of the pads and opened it.

"W-where am I?" The confused girl was dragged out. She had brown hair in two buns and her hazel eyes looked around, full of fear. As with the others, she appeared to be around Naruto's age, if not a little older. At least she looked that way but given she was genetically engineered there was no way of knowing how old she actually was.

"What are you going to do to her?" Naruto asked.

"This is not a true living being, don't let its appearance fool you," The lead guard retorted as they pinned down the girl.

"Sir the artefact is bound to this girl. We will have to destroy her to retrieve it."

"Do it." The guard growled.

"W-w-what?!" The girl started screaming. "Please don't kill me! Somebody save me!"

Naruto grit his teeth. _'Damn it, damn it, damn it! When I see Orochimaru I am going to kill him!' _

"Sir… Is this the right thing to be doing?"

"The High Priestess's orders are absolute. Arcangus artefacts are to be protected against misuse. This foul creature and her ilk are a misuse and must be destroyed before we lose the artefacts forever."

"Please! I didn't do anything! Why won't you stop?!" The GELF wailed pitifully.

"…Damn it." Naruto sighed. "Shoten X2"

"Shoten what?" The lead guard suddenly found himself hurtling down the corridor.

"Sir!" The four remaining guards tried to turn their weapons on Naruto, but only succeeded in hitting his after image.

"Akuma Danmaku!" Naruto launched a salvo of blasts at the guards, the explosions tossing them around like rag dolls.

"Stay down." Naruto warned the groaning guards.

"You… You saved me?" The girl looked up at Naruto with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Do you have a name?"

"I am GELF- 1010."

"Well 10-10," Naruto smiled at her. "Do you know how to wake the others up?"

"Yes…" 10-10 picked up an energy rifle in each arm and started firing wildly at the pods.

"What the hell?" Naruto exclaimed as sirens started and the pods all opened up. There were cries of panic from the newly awoken GELF as they cut themselves free and floated to the floor.

"Alright," Naruto coughed awkwardly. "Unfortunately there are a lot of people who want you guys dead. I know this is a lot to take in but there is hope. If you all flee and scatter I will try and buy you some time to escape okay?"

"Whilst I fully understand that it was this kind of behaviour that got my daughters to fall in love with you, I still wish you weren't so willing to sacrifice yourself."

"Huh?" Naruto turned to the entrance. "You… You're Sephie right? Lala's mother."

"Indeed I am," Sephie stepped forward, flanked by two more guards. She was wearing an elegant looking dressed that revealed enough cleavage to be sexy, yet kept enough covered to be classy. She wore her veil as usual and was carrying a strange staff in her left hand whilst wearing what looked like a gauntlet on her right hand.

"Wait you're the high priestess right?" Naruto gave a sigh of relief. "You can tell these guys to let the girls go free."

"I could do that," Sephie paused. "But… There is something you don't understand."

"Eh?"

"Arcangus artefacts are not an infinite resource," Sephie tilted her head. "Behind you there are 1,213 artefacts that will be destroyed if they are not extracted."

"But you would have to kill the girls to get them." Naruto pointed out. "And 1213? You counted them?"

"They are GELF. Even with the artefacts powering them they will only have a short life. Is it really worth sacrificing such a precious resource so that they can experience a measly 80 years of life? And yes I counted them, where do you think Lala gets her genius from?"

"Measly?! That's the life expectancy of a human!" Naruto blinked. "How long do you count as a full life?"

"Well if a Charmian dies before the age of 2000 it is usually considered too soon," Sephie remarked helpfully. "A devilukian considers dying at 1500 an achievement, not due to having a shorter life expectancy but due to the fact they are constantly fighting and dying in combat."

"…1500." Naruto bit his lip. _'Then that means Lala, Momo and Nana will be alive long after I…' _He felt uncomfortable with this line of thought and decided to drop it, focusing on the more pressing issue. "Even so, I can't just stand back and let you kill them!"

"Yeah!" 10-10 lifted the two rifles. "What gives you the right to decide whether we live or die?"

"I really am sorry," Sephie bowed her head. "But if Gid found these GELF he would destroy them anyway. I promise it will be painless."

"Screw that!" 10-10 snorted.

"Such a shame," Sephie sighed. "I do hope Lala will forgive me."

"Forgive you for what?" Naruto blinked.

Sephie's response was to lift the gauntleted hand. "Right Hand of Micheala… Engage."

"What do you…" Naruto was cut off by his entire body falling to the ground… "W-what…"

"This is a very powerful artefact," Sephie walked up to the struggling Naruto. "It allows me to use Michaela-sama's One above all ability. Simply put it allows me to increase your weight and force you to bow to me. Even Gid-kun cannot resist this ability so don't feel bad okay?" Sephie kneeled down in front of Naruto. "There is still so much in this world that you haven't seen. I hope you forgive me one day. I want us to have a good relationship okay?"

"Your… going the wrong way…" Naruto grunted as he tried to push himself up.

"Please don't struggle. You are only going to hurt yourself," Sephie turned the guards. "Please… Be careful. We don't want to cause them any undue pain." The two guards nodded and started to walk past Naruto to the cowering GELF (and one gun Happy 10-10 who was hoping she could bluff her way out of the situation as both her guns were empty).

"GARGH!" Naruto cried out has his arm snapped, the bone unable to cope with fighting against the One above all ability.

"Naruto-kun!" Sephie cried out in worry and cradled his head. "Please stop fighting! I hate to see you in pain like this."

"Hehehe…" Naruto looked up with a red ring around his eyes. "Just as planned. I hope you forgive me for this."

"Berserker trance?" Sephie blinked noticing the signs. _'I don't understand why he is so pleased? All that has done is suppress his pain response.' _

'_Asmodea, Raphael… How long will I have until the break heals?'_

'_**I am suppressing your regeneration so I'd figure when you use 'it' you'll have three seconds until the trance ends and you'll feel pain again.' **_

'_Three seconds? This ought to be close.' _Naruto grinned as he called up Asmodea and Raphael's power at the same time. "Shoten: Nise Kotei no Manto (A/N: Ascension: False Emperor's Cloak)

There was a sudden explosion of energy and Sephie was hurled backwards as Naruto launched himself at the two guards, coated in the corrosive purple aura. The first guard as imprinted in the wall before he had even had chance to realise that he was under attack. The second guard fired wildly at Naruto, but the blasts seemed to have no effect on him.

"Nise Kotei no Yari! (False Emperor's Spear)" Naruto launched as much of the unstable energy towards the last guard, who managed to avoid the attack but looked in horror as it continued through the ship, leaving a gaping whole all the way into space through what looked like 200 metres of energy resistant hull. Fortunately, the ships shield stopped any depressurisation from occurring.

"High Priestess!" The one conscious guard glanced at her.

"Take the others back to the ship," Sephie smiled. "I guess this is my loss."

"Pardon?"

"Seeing you fight like that…" Sephie sighed happily. "It reminds me of a happier time."

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

"Oh never mind my primum peribat conteret."

"What's that mean."

"In time you will understand," Sephie actually seemed a little sad and removed her veil. "Tell me… Is there no way we can't negotiate?"

"I can't let you kill them."

"Of course," Sephie chuckled. "You always were one of the three."

"Pardon?"

"The three men who didn't become hypnotised by my beauty."

"You mean you tried before?"

"Oh yes." Sephie smiled.

"Well that was boring," Orochimaru's hologram appeared again. "I was hoping that someone would die. Oh well."

"Orochimaru," Naruto turned to face the hologram.

"I see you protected the failures." Orochimaru snorted. "I knew I could count on your bleeding heart. But at least this wasn't a total failure. I got to see a very interesting power~"

"Tch," Naruto scowled.

"I wonder…" Orochimaru smirked as more alarms started to sound. "If I would be so lucky as to kill any of you with this?"

[Naruto! The reactor on that ship has just started going crazy! It is going to blow and with how close it is to Earth right now, it might take the planet with it!]

"I guess we will have to pilot this thing away from Earth then," Naruto remarked.

"High Priestess! The team we sent to the engines say they have just self destructed and the crew on the bridge says none of the emergency measures are responding."

"…Damn," Naruto sighed.

"Everyone back to the ships and withdraw." Sephie turned to her guards. "I shall use the Rosario staff to create a shield around the reactor." She gestured with the staff.

"But high priestess… You would have to be inside the shield for it to work!"

"I know," Sephie smiled. "It is the duty of High Priestess to protect Earth at any costs. Here is the last resting site of the Arcangus, our glorious creators. It has been an honour."

"Sephie-sama," The guards started crying. "Please let us…"

"Only I have the power to operate it." Sephie shook her head. "Now leave, quickly! Gid must be informed." Sephie looked away. "I would hate for him to blame Earth so he must know the truth."

"As you wish." The guards teleported away.

"You should head home to," Sephie smiled at Naruto. "My daughters will be most sad if they lost both of us today."

"Yeah well they aren't going to lose either of us." Naruto declared.

"Pardon?"

"Show me to the reactor," Naruto grinned. "I have a plan so crazy it might just work."

"But my plan would work and save the Earth." Sephie argued.

"Sorry," Naruto grinned. "I can't just stand back and let my precious people die you know?"

"P-precious person?!" Sephie actually looked like she was blushing.

"Well yeah?" Naruto grinned. "I may have a grudge against Gid but you are Lala's mother. I have to be on good terms with you. So long as you promise not to go around killing innocents? I'd expect that from Gid not you."

"Oh… Right," Sephie giggled slightly. "Teleport me and Naruto to the reactor please. Oh… Is that so? Then use Lala-chan's emergency ones. Thank you."

"What's the issue?"

"The reactor fluctuations are interfering with the teleporter systems so we are having to use the more powerful reserves."

"Wait when you said Lala's emergency ones did you mean…"

There was a flicker of light and Naruto blinked stupidly for a few seconds. They were both stood next to what looked like a giant crystal that was sparking like crazy, although both inhabitants of the room found themselves more interested in each other.

"Well I see where Lala gets her figure from… And pink is definitely your natural hair colour."

"Oh my," Sephie blushed and smiled at Naruto. "I can see why so many girls are fond of laying with you."

"Huh?" Naruto glanced down. "Oh right. We are both naked." He laughed weakly.

'_**Would this be a bad time to send you erotic images to make you erect?' **_

'_Don't you dare Asmodea!' _

'_**Too late!' **_

"Well… I am flattered," Sephie smiled.

"Damn it Asmodea," Naruto turned his back on Sephie so his erection wasn't on full display.

"So what is your plan?"

"Well I have a sort of energy compression ability," Naruto explained. "So I was planning to compress the explosion and hold it until I was taken somewhere far away from anyone. Then I was going to throw it as hard as I could and hope I could outrun the explosion."

"…Just so you know that is the only plan we have."

"Why? Oh right… Lala's teleporter means that you have left all your artefacts behind right?"

"That is correct."

"Well… Here goes nothing." Naruto held out his palms to the crystal. _'Just focus… Remember how this worked in training…' _

_Flashback_

_Satalin-Lala stood hovering over the city, her planet buster attack hovering above her arm. __**"It is time to end this! **__**Ikari ni michita sekai no hakai!' **_

"_Not this again!" Naruto scowled as he raised his hands to try and stop the attack, he felt the insane heat as the giant magma ball pushed against him. "Shoten X3!" He blinked as the orb seemed to shrink as well, strange energy arching around the sphere. "It's shrinking!" Naruto tried to force mare energy into the compression but watched as the sphere started to grow unstable. _

"_**Nise Shoten X2," **__Satalin-Lala cooed shortly before the sphere exploded, releasing molten magma that completely destroyed Tokyo (or what was left of it after the three Damus enhanced princesses and him fought. _

'_YOU DIED.' The system declared. 'Return to where you died to reclaim your lost souls.'_

"_I will clear the prologue of Devilukian Souls one day. I swear it!' Naruto vowed as the simulation ended. _

_End Flashback. _

"And I have still yet to do that." Naruto sighed.

"I have faith in you." Sephie hugged him from behind, causing Naruto to gulp as he felt her impressive breasts against his back.

'_Is it wrong to be this aroused by your pregnant lovers' mother?' _

'…_**I don't understand the question.' **_

'_It isn't. After all you should share your love with everybody!' _

'_**Like you and Gabriella should share Micheala?' **_

'_No! That stupid sis-con should go join a nunnery and leave Micheala to me and me alone!' _

'_I wonder… Can I exchange the angel and demons on my shoulder? These seem to be defective.' _

"Here we go!" Naruto let his energy gently seep into the crystal. "Sosa: Asshuku (An: Manipulation: Compress)"

The crystal sparked as white energy seemed to arc around it, causing it to shrink by 10%.

"Asshuku," Naruto repeated and the crystal shrunk again. A bead of sweat travelled down Naruto's brow as he struggled against the crystal. "Asshuku X10." The crystal that had once dominated the room now fit within Naruto's palm, although it was shaking violently as it struggled to hold the massive amount of energy.

"Well the ship is now completely powered down but the crystal is still about to explode." Sephie held Naruto tighter as he started to vibrate from the e energy trying to explode from the crystal. "That is a really unstable orb of energy."

"Which way is Earth?" Naruto asked.

"That way," Sephie pointed at the floor.

"So there is nothing directly above us?"

"Not for some good thousand light years or so."

"Good." Naruto struggled to life the vibrating orb above his head. "Let's hope this works! Sosa: Gekitai (A/N: Manipulation: Repulse!" Using his own energy, he triggered the explosion, directing all of the energy away from himself. The crystal exploded with a bright lance of white energy that screamed through the roof, ripping through the ceiling and briefly tearing through reality and forming a wormhole before vanishing from site. "That… That worked? I mean… Of course it worked." Naruto panted.

"Amazing…" Sephie kissed him on the cheek.

"Where do you think that energy went?"

"I'll have my experts run calculations." Sephie smiled. "After today… I think you can keep the GELF army."

"Eh?"

"I know you won't use them for evil." Sephie smiled at him.

"But what about the artefacts?"

"I guess we were too late," Sephie smiled. "When we arrived they had already been fully absorbed and the GELF were to tricky to capture."

"Thanks Sephie-chan."

"Not at all Naru-kun." She smiled at him and there was the sound of a teleported behind them.

"…What…the…hell?" Gid growled. "Is going on here?! I come to Earth to see my wife and daughter only to receive a message about _this!" _

"Er…" Naruto realised he and Sephie was naked, and Sephie was hugging him. "It isn't what it looks like!"

"What?" Gid blinked. "You didn't launch a powerful energy blast wildly into space? Oh... I was going to congratulate you on not being completely pathetic like most of your species. Never mind."

"Oh that might have been me." Naruto laughed weakly.

"Well maybe you might be worthy of marrying Lala. Maybe." Gid smirked and started to walk away before pausing.

"Well that was…"

"WHAT THE HELL!" Gid span around. "WHY ARE YOU TWO NAKED TOGETHER?!"

"Er.. you see..." Naruto laughed weakly. "Lala's teleporter tends to..."

"Oh right," Gid lost interest.

"I think the better question would be, why are you here?" Sephie tilted her head.

"Er... Well..." Gid looked nervous.

"You were going to visit an all girls school and pretend to be an innocent little boy in order to feel the girls again weren't you?" Sephies' face had the same calm appearance but Gid looked three seconds away from a heart attack.

"Again?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes, my husband is so unfaithful," She wiped away a mock tear. "I wish he was more like you Naru-kun~"

"H-hey!" Gid weakly protested. "I am not being unfaithful..."

Naruto blinked as a naked Sephie turned Gid into a quivering piece of jelly. _'Huh... Looks like Sephie wears the pants in that relationship.' _

**_'So are we going to ignore the fact you launched a powerful attack and it could land absolutely anywhere?' _**

_'I'm sure it will all work out__ fine'_ Naruto replied dismissively.

* * *

Some Time Later

Kiba sighed as his enemy's armies stood before him. Ever since he had fought with the human Naruto, he had come to realise that he needed more than strength to unite his people. It had served him well and now almost half of his home planet bowed their heads to him. Unfortunately, all those who opposed him had allied and marched on his territory. He had gathered his forces but it looked grim for the King in training.

As was customary, he and his advisors (his mother and sister) were gathered before the leader of the opposing army, a bitter old war hawk known as Danzo who was leading the coalition purely because his forces accounted for over half of the soldiers.

"I was hoping to unite our people without war." Kiba growled. "Yet blood thirsty assholes like you aren't happy unless others are suffering are you?"

"I, Danzo shall never bow to a young fool such as yourself," The old man snorted. "My armies far out match your own. War is our life blood; your peace is a dream of a weakling. Where are your allies? This Suitor of the Devilukian princess you say is on your side? Where is he?!"

Before Kiba could retort there was a violent explosion as a beam of pure white energy struck Danzo's armies completely annihilating them.

"…What the hell?!" Danzo squeaked.

"Yo brat," Tsume walked up to her son, "I have a call from that Naruto."

"Put it on speaker."

"Yo Kiba," A hologram of Naruto with a black eye was laughing weakly.

"What happened to you?"

"Apparently Gid wasn't pleased that when he found me and his wife naked together and was waiting for the perfect moment for his revenge..."

"Wait… The Harem Lord has added the High Priestess to his harem?!" Danzo blinked.

"Hot damn," Tsume whistled.

"It's not like that!" Naruto protested weakly. "Anyway I'm ringing about an energy blast that might be headed your way. I launched it ages ago but apparently a devilukian fleet nearby your planet saw it yesterday so it might be about to strike your planet in the next few days."

"Yeah…" Kiba glanced at the smouldering crater that was once four square miles of barren wasteland. "It just hit us. What was that?"

"That was my bad. The attack I launched kind of broke reality temporarily."

"Don't worry," Kiba grinned toothily. "Nothing important was hit."

"That's a relief." Naruto grinned. "So no hard feelings?"

"None at all." Kiba turned to Danzo as the hologram faded.

"…So he wiped out my army… from his own planet…" Danzo blinked. "Which isn't even in our system?"

"That's my bro," Kiba puffed himself up, "My ally and future emperor of the galaxy."

"…" Danzo nodded sagely. "All hail Kiba?" He offered weakly.

* * *

Extra Info and Recap!

Naruto Base Stats

Base Power: 15  
Damus Power: 60  
Arcangus Power: 25 (Away from Earth) 60 (In Solar System) 75 (On Earth)  
Shoten Max Duration: 10 Hours  
Shoten X2 Max Duration: 10 Minutes  
Shoten X3 Max Duration: 1 Second (Can be used in multiple bursts)

Combined Aura: 150  
Combined Aura Max Duration: If Berserker Trance is active then aura can be held indefinitely. Otherwise around 1 minute of excruciating pain.

**Reference Power Levels:**

Guns: 10  
Energy Rifles: 20  
Energy Halberds: 25  
Frigate Lasers: 30 - 80  
Cruiser Lasers: 100 - 400  
City Leveling Attacks: 300+  
Dreadnought Lasers: 500 - 3500  
Planet Buster Attacks: 1000+

**Attack Name**: Shoten X3  
**Power Level:** 300 (Capped at 5 X Base power Level)  
**Alignment:** Naruto only  
**Translation:** Ascension X3  
**Description  
**The limit of what can be achieved using compression on his own energy. The shear strain on his body makes this technique not worth the effort, although he uses it in short bursts whilst training to help overpower enemy attacks.

**Attack Name: **Nise Shoten  
**Power Level: **Users power level X 1.5  
**Alignment: **Naruto- Bonded Only  
**Translation: **False Ascension  
**Description:  
**Using their bond to Naruto, any girl that has bound to Naruto can use a limited form of his compression ability. Whilst not as effective as Naruto's true Shoten, it can offer a hand little burst of power to the user and as with the original, this version can be stacked. Lala can use this up to times three although never does to avoid damage to

**Attack Name**: Shoten: Nise Kotei no Manta  
**Power Level:** 300  
**Alignment:** Combined Arcangus-Damus Aura  
**Translation:** Ascension False Emperor's Cloak  
**Description  
**Naruto's imperfect combined aura combined with his Shoten ability. It is highly corrosive but also has an increased regeneration, so Naruto is effectively destroying and rebuilding every cell in his body whilst this aura is in effect, hence the massive amount of pain he suffers using it. The pain is so intense that it cannot be used unless berserker trance is active. It is named as a mark of respect towards Kurama's aura, which is called the Imperfect Emperor's cloak- A far more stable a less painful version of Naruto's combined aura.

**Attack Name**: Shoten: Nise Kotei no Yari  
**Power Level:** 100  
**Alignment:** Combined Arcangus-Damus Aura  
**Translation:** Ascension False Emperor's Spear  
**Description  
**Naruto's imperfect combined aura version of Akuma Yari. Very powerful and corrosive but also highly unstable and can explode violently when struck by an external energy attack.

**Attack Name**: Sosa: Asshuku  
**Power Level:** N/A- Can only compress non-sentient energy.  
**Alignment:** Naruto only  
**Translation:** Manipulation: Compress  
**Description  
**Naruto uses the same ability as his Shoten only uses it on an external power source. Compressed energy becomes more unstable as it tries to fight against the compression affect. After discovering the ability in training, he tried to use it in real life with Lala, Momo and Nana all firing energy blasts at him. Training was cancelled when Hanabi took this as a sign that everyone wanted Naruto dead and invaded the house with a Mecha. **  
**

**Attack Name**: Sosa: Gekitai  
**Power Level:** N/A- Can only repel non-sentient energy.  
**Alignment:** Naruto only  
**Translation:** Manipulation: Repulse  
**Description  
**One energy has been saturated by his own via compression, Naruto gains limited control over the behavior of that energy. This technique allows him to launch energy away from himself with a force directly proportional to the energy he is launching. For example: the energy he was controlling in this chapter was roughly the power of a star about to go supernova and when he launched it, it travelled so fast it broke through reality temporarily because even the Laws of Physics didn't want to mess around with that kind of attack. **  
**


	30. Chapter 30: The Road to Hell (Read AN)

To Love Ruto

A/N: Here we go! Another chapter. The next chapter should hopefully be the last of this arc, which has been a bit of a struggle for me. After this arc there will be a couple of light hearted chapters before the next arc starts and the story starts to head towards the final arc.

* * *

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE!**

Hi, I don't usually do this but given the nature of the situation felt that I should do this rather than posting an A/N as a new chapter by itself. If you have already read chapter 30, there is no need to re-read it as I haven't changed update just added this message so that everyone who follows this story can understand why the updates have stopped (For a short time anyway).

It has been drawn to my attention by quite a few people that the quality of my work has been dropping of late. I won't lie these last few chapters have been a bit of a struggle for me, hence the one shot competition to try and change things up. As such I have decided to put this story on a temporary hiatus. How long will this be? I don't know in all honesty. Considering my update speed was roughly once a month, I would imagine that a hiatus could last two to three months maybe more.

**I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS FIC. **I will be reading through it and trying to streamline the plot as there have been quite a few little bits that I will remove as I change my plans for the story. This might include some major plot points but hopefully will not.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: I delete some of the chapters and start re-writing them (VERY UNLIKELY).  
BEST CASE SCENARIO: After a few months my mind is buzzing with ideas and I tweak the chapters I have already written and continue writing.  
Most Likely Outcome: The break allows me to refresh my memory and the story continues as planned.

I appreciate all who take the time to read this story and stay in touch with me and feel that it is my duty as a (want-to-be) author to listen to your opinions and to act on them.

If my quality is slipping (which I feel is the case) I owe it to many people who read this to remedy the situation.

During the hiatus I will be focusing on other works (such as Naruto's Daily Monstrous Life - A NarutoXMonsterMusume harem story I'm writing with Djunk101 see my favourites for more information) maybe even re-writing chapters in this as well before I move on to the next chapter. To summarise:

**THERE WILL BE NO NEW CHAPTERS FOR THIS STORY FOR AT LEAST A FEW MONTHS.** At least not Canon ones. I may post a few mini-chapters but that's it.

I apologise to anyone who got excited when they recieved the notification for a new chapter but this was the only way I could think of getting the attention of everyone who reads this story.

I hope you can all understand.

Thanks for your time,

Drake Wilson

P.S. I hope the capitalisation doesn't come across as patronising. It is more of a tl:dr thing, so that at a passing glance you can see what the message is.

* * *

The Poll results are as follows:

**Rito's Species Poll (Options A) - Total Votes 484**  
**Top Four Results**

1st Becomes Half-Devilukian (Female) 115 Votes: 24%

2nd Stays Human but becomes Female 82 Votes: 17%

3rd Becomes Half-Canine (Female) 72 Votes 15%

4th Stays Human 71 Votes 15%

**Rito's Pairing Poll (Options B) - Total Votes 352**

1st Gives up on Haruna/ Ends up with Naruto 201 Votes 57%

2nd Gives up on Haruna/ Ends up with Jelo 101 Votes 29%

3rd Ends up with Haruna 50 Votes 14%

So both polls had clear leaders and they turned out pretty much how I expected they would. I'll say again what I said when I first posted the poll, I already had the conclusion of this arc planned so the poll won't really change much. It was more of a curiousity to see what people wanted. The poll may influence future arcs though.

As of now the One-shot poll should (hopefully) be up and running. If your story isn't on my profile then unfortunately I have decided not to use it this time. There was a massive surge of One-Piece crossover requests but I have decided against any one-piece stories, as I am planning to re-write Ninja Pirate (which some of my long term followers may remember. It was my first story but the co-author and I had a disagreement and the story was taken down as per her request) and as such decided not to chose a One-piece one-shot.

Their are seven options, most of which are Naruto X-overs as that seems to be what most people like me to write. As I said visit my poll for the full list and summary of the stories. If they are popular enough they may turn into a full blown story.

**Also if you are a fan of harem stories and Monster Musume/ Naruto X-Overs check out the DJunk101's new story (It is in my favourites for easy access). **

That's enough rambling I guess. Let's get on with the show!

* * *

**Chapter 30: The Road to Hell**

Sephie smiled softly as she adjusted her dress, checking her reflection in the mirror. She had chosen to wear a plain white dress that covered most of her skin and a white silken veil with gold stitching showing the crests of the seven Arcangus. Happy with her appearance, she left the changing room, walking along the corridor that was lined with Charmian guards, wearing bright white armour made from advanced polymers yet designed to look like ancient plate mail. As she passed the guards stiffened but said nothing, unsure as to how to feel.

On one hand she was the High Priestess and a beloved figure. On the other she was on trial for treason, for allowing over one thousand holy relics of the Arcangus to be lost forever.

As she approached a large set of double doors, sporting several blue Arcangus crests, she hesitated for a moment. On the other side of this door were the Charmian High Council who would judge her and determine her sentence. Biting her lip nervously, she tried to calm her beating heart. Gid would be on the other side as per the peace treaty between the two species but his was only a single vote. There would be another 49 votes that would be cast to determine her fate.

As calm as she figured she would ever be, Sephie pushed open the doors and stepped into the middle of the room, pausing in the middle of a glowing ring, which then proceeded to levitate until she was floating the middle of 50 chairs, each housing a Charmian noble (or Gid.)

"Sephie Michaela Deviluke," One of the seated nobles stood up, his long beard trailing below his waist. "Do you know why you have been summoned?"

"To answer charges of treason," Sephie replied.

"Which is stupid," Gid remarked dryly.

"Nevertheless, we have cause to believe that you, either willingly or unwillingly, played part in the loss of over 1000 artefacts of our glorious father race, the Arcangus." The speaker was drowned out by cries of outrage from the gathered nobles.

"Shut the hell up!" Gid barked. "Let's get this farce over with already."

"To begin with… Do you acknowledge that you were in a position to prevent the loss of these artefacts?"

"The GELF were not active when I arrived." Sephie nodded.

"So you could have extracted the artefacts?"

"There was some resistance and I was unable to prevent them being awakened." Sephie relied. "Then a more pressing matter was brought to my attention."

"Ah yes," The bearded noble scoffed, "The vessel threatened Holy Sol III, correct?"

"Correct."

"And yet here you stand? You claim that the blast was dealt with yet the only method of controlling an unstable reactor would be to trap it in the Rosaria, which I notice was returned unused."

"Another option was discovered."

"And would you care to enlighten us?"

"To do so would be in violation of the Holy Oaths I made when I became High Priestess."

"You want us to believe that a human did this?"

"Do you doubt the word of your High Priestess?" Gid snapped.

"I vote we strip her of her position and deny her children the right of inheritance." A female noble yelled.

"So that you could have that power no doubt." Gid remarked dryly.

"Enough!" The bearded noble declared. "The person that prevented you from extracting the artefacts, was he an enemy or did you allow him to stop you? Did you hold back in order to protect this being instead of fulfilling your duty?" The bearded noble clicked his fingers and a picture of Naruto and her fighting came up. "Is this half-breed an enemy of the Charmian people or did you fail your duty?!"

"Where'd you get this picture?" Gid narrowed his eyes.

"That is not the issue here!" The female declared. "Either this boy is a threat to everything we believe or the High Priestess has betrayed everything that we stand for!"

Sephie's eyes widened. _'If I call Naruto the enemy I stand a chance of retaining my position but to do so would doom any attempts Naruto made at becoming Emperor…'_

"Well?"

"My answer is…"

* * *

"So," Naruto glanced at Kichi, "How are they settling in?"

'They' were the Arcangus GELF. Fortunately, they required no food and water, being powered by the artefacts within them and Naruto had gotten Bunta to set up a living area in his smuggling operation, where they would be safe and sound. Bunta had agreed on the condition they worked for him to pay their rent. Currently Naruto and Kichi were watching a group of three wearing military helmets that were slightly too big. 10-10 was marching around with an unnerving number of weapons and a worrying amount of glee.

Nymph and Ikaros were stood at a checkpoint, staring at him.

"So… You enjoying it here?" Naruto asked.

"It's boring," Nymph protested.

"You don't have to stay here," Naruto assured her. "The whole world is your oyster."

"W-well it isn't that I want to leave or anything." Nymph mumbled. "It's not that I want to stay near you or anything either!" She stuck her tongue out.

"Why am I getting a Nana vibe off of this one?" Naruto shook his head and turned to Ikaros. "And you?"

"We are getting used to the job." Ikaros replied softly.

"We?" Naruto noticed the watermelon stood next to them on a stool. It had an angry face with five o'clock shadow scribbled on in a dark black. "Er… Right."

"Sergeant Major Watermelon-kun is our CO." Ikaros nodded.

"You are outranked by a water melon?"

"Don't ask," Kichi said as he escorted Naruto away. "They are settling in fine but that Ikaros… She seems to have some sort of thing about watermelons. Do you know she actually argued for it to receive wages?"

"Okay?" Naruto blinked.

"The weirdest thing is she actually succeeded." Kichi grumbled. "That watermelon is one of the best paid members of staff here!"

"Moving on," Naruto coughed. "Lala said you had something for me?"

"Oh right," Kichi handed Naruto a sheet of paper. "Since Mikado-sensei sent us the ingredients to that poison that the Yuuki boy was planning to use on you, we've been tracking anyone who could have been selling them. We have found a few suspects and are investigating but so far no new leads."

"Damn it," Naruto glanced at the paper. "Trying to find Orochimaru is like looking for a needle in a haystack!"

"We just have to wait for him to slip up," Kichi smiled. "Then everything will go back to normal."

"That's a thought, school will be starting again next week." Naruto smiled softly. "It would be nice to get back to some normality. God knows Yui-chan is going to be on my case to make sure I don't fall behind with my studies. Well I'd best be going. Let me know the instant you find anything okay?"

"Will do," Kichi saluted as Naruto entered the elevator that took him back to the surface. It never ceased to amaze him that thanks to the same technology Lala had used to make his house much larger on the inside than the outside, what was supposed to be a small pocket of space roughly two meters by five meters under the Gama dojo was capable of housing an entire smuggling operation.

Naruto yawned as he left the dojo, squinting at the early morning sun. It had been a few days since he had 'fought' Sephie and all was quiet on the home front. Orochimaru was laying low, his most recent attempt to kill Naruto a failure, although Naruto suspected he wasn't on Earth at all. Why else would he have risked potentially killing himself, even if he was fairly sure that Sephie would have sacrificed herself before letting the planet die. He was distracted from his thoughts by a ringing from his pocket.

"Yui?" Naruto blinked as he answered the call, "Hello?"

"Hello," Yui's voice sounded slightly tired. "I… I haven't woken you up have I?"

"Nope," Naruto smiled. "What's a matter?"

"I was wondering… If you would come to my house. It's the anniversary of my Grandmother's passing and… I'd like to formally introduce you to her. She played a big part in my life and… And I want to let her know that I'm happy and that you are a good person."

"Of course," Naruto nodded. "I'm on my way."

"Great!" Yui sounded pleased. "I… er… I love you."

"I love you too," Naruto chuckled as Yui hung up.

"Yui Kotegawa." A familiar voice intoned. "Another pure girl corrupted by your machinations."

"…Kimimaro," Naruto glared at the pale youth. "I guess that means Orochimaru is up to something!"

"My master has plans which do not involve you." Kimimaro declared. "I am merely here to pass on my master's message. It appears that you are surprisingly hard to kill and my lord has decided to suspend any and all attempts on your life."

"How kind of him," Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What makes you think I'm ready to give up trying to find him?"

"If you truly wish to meet my lord, come to this address tonight." Kimimaro tossed a card to Naruto. "My lord is quite eager to end this conflict quickly and quietly. You need not be enemies."

"I've seen the things that your master gets up to." Naruto growled.

"My master merely seeks a way of prolonging life, of maximizing the potential of the species he meets. While I would much rather see you die, my master believes there is great potential in you that is yet to be unlocked. As a peace offering, my lord would help you tap into that potential."

"Really?" Naruto scoffed, "Forgive me if I don't run into the arms of the person who has been the cause of my suffering as of late."

"It is your choice," Kimimaro smiled. "Should you choose to continue to interfere in my lord's affairs though… Risa Momioka, Mikado Ryoko, Kushina Uzumaki, Yui Kotegawa, Lala Satalin Deviluke, Nana Astar Deviluke and Momo Belia Deviluke." Kimimaro pulled a file from his jacket and threw it at Naruto. "All of your friends and let's not forget your twin daughters who are on the way. My Lord doesn't have to attack you to destroy you. You have the chance to be a part of mankind's glorious future or be the cause of your own misery. Think carefully before you meet my master tonight."

Naruto's face had gone eerily calm. "Did you just threaten some of my precious people?" He spoke calmly as he flicked through the files. It had all their personal details and allergies. Common places where they could be found… It was a complete dossier on all of the important people in his life.

"I am merely stating a fact," Kimimaro remarked coolly. "Your actions will have consequences."

"You bastard…" Naruto clenched his fists.

"Until tonight." Kimimaro teleported away.

"Oh you'll see me alright," Naruto glanced at the card. "One way or another. I'm ending this thing tonight."

* * *

"So what do we do?" Momo asked Lala. "Do you have a plan Onee-sama?"

The girls were having a secret meeting, all the while glancing over their shoulder at their guest.

"We have to be smart about this," Lala declared. "I mean, we don't want Mama to feel unloved," The assembled girls glanced at Sephie as she sat at a table sighing sadly. She wasn't wearing any expensive dresses or carrying any symbols of office. In fact, she was wearing a plain white dress whilst sadly sighing dramatically periodically.

"But if she stays here," Momo bit her lip, "She might steal Naruto away from us."

"But aren't we in a harem here?" Kushina paused. "Oh right, Yui and Naruto aren't here. I was expecting a denial."

"That's the thing," Lala looked worried. "In Papa's early days he did have a harem, then he married Mama and she was so beautiful that he disbanded his harem! If she stays… she might do the same to Naruto!"

"That's not going to happen," Risa tried to reassure Lala.

"I don't know," Kushina frowned. "I mean, I've seen her face and I was considering an exclusive relationship with her and I'm not even into women like that!"

"Then what was the thing with the dress and…"

"Well that was just some roleplay," Kushina scoffed. "Who hasn't had the 'Boy pretending to be a girl to get into a girl's school who gets found out by the naughty principal who feels unloved by her husband and sees a chance to get some sexual gratification'?"

"I think that's just you," Momo chuckled. "Not that it isn't kind of hot."

"It is not!" Nana declared.

"Wait…Are you saying I'm weird?" Kushina looked shocked. "I… I always thought I was pretty normal. I mean at least the whole Sexy Miko summoning a demon who has his way with her is normal right?"

"It's possibly more normal," Risa conceded.

"Then… The brother-sister incest roleplay?"

"Not sure if that is more or less weird than the demon thing," Risa frowned.

"Oh gods I'm a freak." Kushina blinked. "Ahah!"

"Why are you so happy?" Nana blinked. "Are your Earth morals so bent that being a weird fetishist is a good thing?"

"I just realized what I offer Naruto in our harem." She paused again before realizing Yui and Naruto weren't there. "Man force of habit or what? Anyway I allow him to channel his less conventional sexual urges! So even if Sephie did take over the harem, she couldn't replace the vital service I provide!"

"I heard my name? Is everything okay?" Sephie joined the huddle with a faint smile.

"We were just talking about some of the weird stuff that I like," Kushina said proudly.

"Oh my," Sephie clapped. "That sounds fun~"

"Er…" Kushina was slightly put off by her cheerful response.

"Have you tried… what do you earthlings call it… ah yes. Futa isn't it?"

"Eh?!"

"You haven't? I would have thought that you could have used one of Lala's inventions to turn Naruto into a Futa and have sex like that?"

"…" Kushina blinked. "I… I never thought of that."

"Don't worry as you and Naruto-kun grow more comfortable I am sure you will move onto kinkier things. Why the things Gid and I used to get up to~" She sighed happily.

"I lost?!" Kushina slumped, a cloud of depression hanging over her.

"I will never be able to look Papa in the face again." Nana was sickly pale.

"S-still," Lala beamed. "I am carrying Naruto-kun's children so that means I can't be replaced!"

"Replaced?" Sephie giggled, "Oh are you worried I would steal Naruto-kun? I am a married woman."

"That isn't that reassuring Mama. With the fetishes you probably have the idea of cheating on your husband probably appeals to you." Momo remarked dryly. "At least I know where Nana gets it from now."

"H-hey!" Nana glared at her sister.

"Well," Sephie looked thoughtful, "It could liven up our relationship~ Gid-kun is a bit of a voyeur."

"LEAVING THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW!" Nana put her fingers in her ears and left the group humming loudly.

"I think my lab results on Jelo have finished," Mikado laughed weakly, _'I can't believe the Charmian high priestess is coming out with things like this. She's supposed to be a Saint!'_

"No!" Lala crossed her arms. "Not happening! Even if it is Mama, I won't hold back to keep Naruto-kun!"

"I was joking Lala-chan."

"That didn't look like a joking face," Momo remarked.

"Oh wouldn't you want to join in?" Sephie smiled, "Obviously not with Gid-kun watching."

"A mother daughter team up…" Momo blinked. "There's no way he'd resist that sort of attack. I would definitely get pregnant with Naruto's child." She started drooling with a far off look in her eyes. "He would become a beast and completely _dominate me.' _A small trickle of blood started to flow from her nose.

"Stop turning my sister against me!" Lala pouted.

"Oh my, you are cute as every Lala-chan," Sephie hugged her daughter. "I am only teasing you. Where is Naruto-kun by the way?"

"He's busy," Lala replied. "So stay away from him!" She crossed her arms angrily.

"Oh you are so precious," Sephie released Lala.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you Mama," Momo tilted her head, "But how long are you going to be here?"

"Don't worry, I'll spend my time up in orbit. I am under house arrest."

"House arrest?"

"I was judged to have failed in my duties," Sephie looked slightly downcast.

"How so?" Lala clenched her fists. "If it is those stupid meanies on the Arcangus High Council I'll have a few words for them!"

"Meanies?" Risa teased.

"Do you want to go back to the top of her 'To Remove' list?" Momo asked.

"Er… I'll let Rito keep that honor," Risa laughed weakly.

"It's to do with those Angel GELF Naruto saved isn't it?" Momo sighed. _'Which means if Naruto finds out he will feel responsible and offer her a place here. His kindness used to be a good thing but in this case it could prove to be a nuisance.'_

"Well I wouldn't blame Naruto for causing me to lose my job. He only did what he felt was right. He does that a lot." She sighed happily.

"No." Lala dead panned.

"Eh?"

"No sighing dreamily whilst thinking of Naruto! Think of Papa instead!"

"…Do I have to?"

"Mama!"

"Joking," Sephie laughed at Lala's scowl.

"I'm not laughing…" Lala suddenly froze.

"Hey are you okay?" Risa blinked.

"Uh oh." Lala whispered before suddenly pulling her d-dial out.

"Lala?"

"Go Go Boom-Boom container kun!" Lala declared and what looked like a shower cubicle made of a strange semi-transparent material appeared around him. She tossed the D-Dial out from a small hatch before sealing it.

"Lala?" Kushina frowned.

"Everything will be okay!" Lala reassured them.

"Oh it's that time is it?" Momo chuckled.

"Oh! I'll go get my camera!" Sephie clapped.

"What time?" Kushina frowned but any further questions would put on hold when Lala detonated with a blinding explosion that shook the entire house, the container straining before finally starting to settle down.

"I got the alarm!" Mikado ran back into the room. "Everyone okay?"

"Lala exploded." Kushina blinked. "How the hell am I going to explain this to Naruto?"

"She really is a sex bomb," Momo elbowed Kushina. "Get it?"

"She's fine," Mikado chuckled as she pulled her tablet from her cleavage and started to tap it. "Impressive, she went off with the force of a Star collapsing."

"Eh?!"

"Oh right," Mikado caught Risa and Kushina's horrified expressions. "See usually pregnant devilukians with sealed Damus constantly discharge Damus energy. However, it is possible to store it up and release it in one burst, which is what Lala did. Unfortunately, once the dam is blown you can't shut it again, so to speak."

"You mean this is normal?"

"Well she is the holder of Satalin, Damus of Fire and Wrath and explosions etc." Mikado smiled. "We took all the risks into consideration. To be fair she could have held it off for another day but it might negatively affect the twins."

"So what happens if the other two get pregnant?!"

"Well Momo will just make everyone around her more sensitive thanks to Belia and Nana will make everyone feel slightly tired thanks to Astar so they don't need to hold back her powers." Mikado smiled. "Lala was the only danger and even then she would just keep setting her clothes and everything she touched on fire. Everything okay in there?" Mikado asked.

Inside the box, the outline of Lala gave a thumbs up.

"She'll need to be in there for 12 hours as the excess energy is drained away but unfortunately this means until Lala gives birth she can't share Naruto's bed, at least not without setting it on fire."

"Can't she just store her excess energy again?" Risa asked.

"It's like drinking alcohol then going to the toilet," Mikado explained. "Once that seal is broken you will keep needing the toilet."

"Lala-chan~" Sephie returned with a camera.

"Wait a minute," Momo glanced at Kushina, "That means we have to get Mama to go home without Onee-sama's help!"

"And with Lala this close to giving birth…" Kushina glanced at Momo, "Do you really think we can get rid of her?"

"… If we can't get rid of her," Momo smirked. "We can at least keep her away from Naruto."

"And how do you intend to do that?"

"I have my ways~" Momo smiled as she walked away swaying her hips.

"S-say," Kushina coughed awkwardly. "Do you think Lala has a device that could turn Naruto in a sort of Futa or something?"

Momo gave her a 'look'.

"W-what?! I'm just curious about what Lala can and can't do!" Kushina defended herself.

* * *

Jelo lay next to Rito, watching him as he snored softly in his sleep. As a short-lifespan GELF, she had no need nor desire to sleep. In the past few days she had been shown so many wondrous things by Rito.

She particularly liked the cinema. It showed her whole worlds that she might have otherwise never seen. They told her stories about love, war and sacrifice, things that she had been programmed to understand but only by witnessing them did she truly understand their significance.

"Yuuki Rito," Jelo mumbled as she watched him smile stupidly in his sleep. This human had decided for no reason that she could live with him and had decided that, once again for no reason that she could fathom.

"Haruna-chan…" Rito mumbled as he rolled over.

Jelo frowned at the unfamiliar sensation in her cells as he mentioned the other girl, the one she had been created to impersonate. In the precious few days she had, Rito had become an irreplaceable person but whilst three days for her was roughly a quarter of her life, for Rito it was considerably less. Add to the fact that he knew she would start to fall apart soon and Jelo knew she could never replace Haruna.

She was dragged out of her thoughts by a strange sensation in her head, like an itch in the center of her brain, a compulsion telling her to leave the house. She left the house unchallenged thanks to Lala's situation and saw a face she had hoped not to see again.

"Mistress," Jelo tried to look intimidating.

"My, my." Orochimaru chuckled. "Such a nice place Naruto-kun has isn't it? Are you enjoying your time with Yuuki-san?"

"If you are planning to hurt Yuuki Rito then…"

"Keep your idle threats to yourself," Orochimaru's smile vanished. "We both know with just a click of my fingers I could reduce you to your basic components. Now you see, you are my possession and I do not like it when people take what is mine. There are two possible ways we could go about this. A) You return to my lab in three hours. I get what is mine and have no need to pursue any actions against Yuuki-san. He gets to live the rest of his pathetically short life, so long as he doesn't do anything to interfere with my future plans. B) You stay with Yuuki-san and I have to come and get you. I will make sure that you get to see him die in agony long before your timer runs out. This is the address that you are to meet me at." Orochimaru smiled. "Come alone or else I will be forced to… take appropriate actions. Ta-ta," He smiled cruelly before stepping backwards into a wall and passing through it.

As Jelo returned to the bedroom, she gazed upon Rito who was just starting to wake up.

"Hey," Rito smiled weakly. "What time is it?"

"The time is 9:12 am," Jelo frowned softly. "I, Jelo, have something to tell you Yuuki Rito."

"Oh?" Rito sat up on his elbows. "What is it?"

"…These past few days have been fun." Jelo smiled softly at him. "But we both know that I, Jelo, do not have much longer left. I believe it would be a better idea for me to leave today."

"W-wait!" Rito pushed himself out of bed. "Mikado might have worked on a cure or be close! You don't have to leave."

Jelo smiled. "The memories that Yuuki Rito has given me have made these last few days the best of my life. Thank you Yuuki Rito."

"You don't have to leave," Rito was practically begging. "Even if you can't be saved… Wouldn't it be better to spend your final moments surrounded by people who care?"

"Yuuki Rito is too kind." Jelo smiled softly at him. "Can I, Jelo ask one last favour?"

"Name it!" Rito nodded.

"In the movies, they kiss right? Can Yuuki Rito kiss I, Jelo?"

"K-kiss," Rito went beet red. "I-I don't know about that…"

"I see," Jelo smiled sadly.

"T-that's not to say I won't." Rito quickly added seeing her dejected expression, "But I… I haven't really kissed anyone so I don't know if I will be any good…"

"Neither have I, Jelo. I cannot judge you on your kissing skills."

"W-well… If you are sure."

"I am."

"F-fine then." Rito leaned forwards, his lips pursed. '_So soft…' _He thought at their lips touched.

"I'm sorry," Jelo broke the kiss.

"W-what…" Rito felt very tired.

"As an infiltrator GELF I can secrete a weak toxin," Jelo smiled sadly. "This is goodbye Yuuki Rito. Thank you."

"W-wait…" Rito reached out to her but she left the room and the sweet embrace of darkness engulfed him.

* * *

Naruto stood silently as Yui adjusted the flowers on her grandmother's grave. He was deep in thought as hemulled over Orochimaru's offer. Whilst there was no way in hell he would accept the madman's offer, he was still planning to visit the mad scientist and hopefully put an end to his evil scheme, whatever that might be.

"You seem deep in thought," Yui glanced over her shoulder.

"Oh," Naruto blinked. "It's nothing important."

"…Were you thinking something shameless?" Yui went bright red and stood up angrily.

"No," Naruto held his hands up. "It's just… Alien stuff," He finished weakly.

"You are thinking of fighting again aren't you?" Yui sighed sadly.

"Yeah," Naruto saw no point in lying. "Orochimaru has basically invited me to his lair.

"And you are going?" Yui asked.

"I have to."

"It will be a trap; you do realize that right?"

"I do."

"There's nothing I can say to stop you?"

"Sorry," Naruto bowed his head. "He's too dangerous to just ignore."

"But when does it stop?" Yui asked.

"Eh?"

"The fighting I mean," She brushed her dress off. "Do you know how much I worry? I feel so useless when you are fighting. Lala, Momo and Nana can all contribute but me…" Yui bit her lip. "I just stand and watch."

"Yui-chan," Naruto wrapped an arm around her and she sunk into his embrace. "All I have to do is beat Gid. Once I've done that I can stop fighting."

"Promise?"

"I promise I will not seek out fights."

"But you will still fight."

"If I have to." Naruto sensed Yui's disappointment. "I know that wasn't what you wanted to hear but even after I beat Gid, there will be those who want to kill me to become Lala's suitor."

"…Couldn't you just let them win?"

"Yui?"

"I like Lala but I hate seeing you get hurt." Yui tightly gripped Naruto. "What if you wait until there is a good suitor and throw the fight?"

"She is pregnant with my child," Naruto shook his head. "And even if she wasn't Lala is important to me, as are you all."

"N-Naruto," Yui looked embarrassed. "Are you free tomorrow night?"

"I can make myself free if you want to have a little rendezvous."

"W-what? No!" Yui blushed crimson. "I wanted to have a dinner where you could meet my parents, properly."

"Unlike the first time they saw us as a couple?" Naruto smirked.

"S-shut up!" Yui stammered. "I couldn't look my mother in the face for days!"

"Plenty of people have had their parents walk in on them…"

"It was our first time," Yui mumbled. "I wanted it to be special."

"It was," Naruto assured her. "It was the night I got to become one with you," Her cupped her chin and kissed her softly.

"Naruto…" Yui smiled as she broke the hug. "So could you make a dinner meeting?"

"Sure," Naruto nodded.

"Great!" Yui's smile made Naruto feel light headed when all of a sudden he felt a tug on his soul. A desperate cry for help. "Naruto?"

"I think Lala's in trouble," Naruto clutched his chest. "I… I felt it."

"We'd best hurry!" Yui looked worried.

"Quickly," Naruto scooped Yui up in a bridal carry. "Let's go!"

"S-sure," Yui smiled softly, '_Being carried in his arms like this… It's kind of romantic.'_

"Away we go!" Naruto launched himself into the air, his aura surrounding her.

'_I WAS SO WRONG!' _Yui whimpered as she clung to Naruto, her hair wildly flying around as Naruto rocketed through the sky.

'_Hm…' _Naruto noticed Jelo walking into a sports gym. _'Strange place to take Jelo on a date Rito. Ah well I'm sure he has a plan.'_

"BIRD!" Yui screamed as Naruto swerved out of the way.

"Sorry!" Naruto called back.

Yui's only response was to tighten her grip.

* * *

It was a surprisingly serene scene that Naruto (and a very windswept Yui) fist came across as they entered the house. Lala was sat completely naked in her semi-transparent cell, her skin still glowing with the heat she was emitting but otherwise completely unaffected by her current situation.

Sat on chairs either side of her were Momo and Nana, as the three sisters watched television. The kitchen was a hive of activity suggesting several others inside, the sweet smell in the air suggested cookies and various other sweet treats were being made. Kushina was curled up in the fetal position, under a cloud of depression.

"Is everything alright?" Naruto asked.

"All fine here," Momo grinned at Yui's appearance, "But it looks like you and Yui-chan were at it _hard~"_

"Eh?" Yui blushed. "He swept me off my feet and made my soar through the sky!"

"That good?" Risa called from the kitchen.

"It… It wasn't like that! Cease your shameless thoughts!" Yui demanded.

"Hello Naruto-kun," Sephie smiled as she left the kitchen, carrying a tray of cookies. "I helped Mikan-chan do the cooking. I see her cuteness isn't the only reason she is in your harem."

"W-what?!" Mikan nearly dropped the cookies she was carrying.

"Oh hey Sephie. Not going to fight me this time are you? Anyway Mikan-chan is just a friend," Naruto said, missing the flicker of sadness across Mikan's face. "Besides I don't just let her live here because she is an amazing cook. She's a good person too."

"Oh you won't have to worry about me fighting you again." Sephie smiled. "Say why don't you try these cookies I made? I don't like to brag but I am a pretty good cook too." Sephie smiled. "Maybe I could give Mikan-chan a run for her money~"

"Really?" Naruto asked and tasted one of them, "Wow you really made these? These are amazing!"

"B-but…" Mikan joined Kushina in a depressed huddle in the corner of the room. "But my cooking is all I really offer to Naruto-kun… She has a nice figure and is mature enough for Naruto… What can I offer that can beat her?"

"I'm glad you like them." Sephie smiled.

"They're almost as nice as Mikan's."

"W-well," Mikan made an instant recovery. "I just put my heart into my cooking." She mumbled, happy at the praise from Naruto.

"What's wrong with Kushina?" Yui asked Risa as she left the kitchen with a slice of cake.

"Oh Sephie managed to out-kink her." Risa explained. "She is having a crisis of faith at the moment as her role as sexy, kinky MILF has been challenged."

"Such a shameless thing to get depressed about," Yui shook her head.

Meanwhile Naruto was investigating the strange container that Lala was in.

"Are you okay in there Lala?" He asked.

"I'm fine thank you!" Lala beamed. "In a matter of days Naruto is going to be a father! And I am going to be the best mother ever!"

"Second best surely," Sephie cut in.

"I'd say third best," Kushina grinned, recovering from her funk.

"Incest roleplay mothers don't count," Lala stuck her tongue out.

"R-really," Naruto sounded worried. "I mean, not that I aren't happy but with Orochimaru on the loose."

"It will be fine!" Lala reassured him.

"Well… If you are sure," Naruto sighed before glancing at the shrine to his father. "I don't know if I've got what it takes to be a dad though."

"Trust me," Kushina smiled. "Neither did your father yet you turned out alright. And unlike your father you have plenty of help in raising your girls."

"Yeah," Naruto kneeled at the shrine and lit some incense. "Watch over me old man." He clapped his hands softly.

"In fact I think you would be able to have several babies at once; such is the level of fatherhood you are currently at."

"I'm not getting anyone else pregnant until I've kicked Gid's ass." Naruto deadpanned.

"You here this Minato? Your son is being unreasonable!" Kushina sighed dramatically. "Yes I know about Mito and Lala has her best scouts on it. How dare you say that to me! Me?!"

"Okay 'Shina." Naruto pulled her away from his father's shrine.

"My! You always have such a lively household~" Sephie smiled. "I admit the palace got quite lonely when my little girls all moved in here."

"I guess your work as High Priestess means it's hard to visit as well," Naruto happily remarked.

"…It did yes."

"Did?" Naruto blinked.

"I… I lost my position yesterday." Sephie smiled.

"It… It wasn't because of 10-10 and the other GELF that I kind of saved from you was it?"

"Who the hell is 10-10?" Risa muttered to Lala.

"I don't know," Lala pouted. "Naruto knows all new additions to the harem have to be agreed by me."

"Of course not," Sephie smiled in response to Naruto's question.

"Ah good," Naruto laughed. "I'd feel incredibly guilty if that were the case. What are you girls watching?"

"Space Netflix." Nana said taking a cookie from Mikan, who then passed one to Lala only for it to burst into flames the instant Lala took it from the plate.

"… What?"

"It's like Netflix but in space." Nana explained. "It was this or space Hulu."

"…Do you seriously just stick 'Space' on the front of human products?" Naruto rubbed his forehead.

"Of course not!" Nana looked shocked as she picked up the remote and changed the channel "Oh look its Space BBC news."

"That… That doesn't even make any sense." Naruto groaned.

"The headlines just in," An alien with more eyes than tentacles (and it had hell of a lot of those) appeared on the screen. For some reason it had a strong female British accent. "The Investigation into the treason charges lodged against Sephie Deviluke, former High Priestess of the Arcangus Faith has revealed the evidence exclusively to our reporter. We go to the Charmian high council now. Xyleth'b are you there?"

"Reading you loud and clear Ytrerby'l." Another tentacle creature appeared, this one sounding male but still with the same accent. "I have been shown footage of the individual who it is believed was responsible for single handedly costing Deviluke-sama her position."

"…That's a picture of me." Naruto blinked as the screen showed Naruto and Sephie facing off. Fortunately, his purple aura obscured his face. "How did they get that picture?"

"It could be anyone," Sephie smiled. "It is totally not your fault that I lost my position."

"What an ugly creature," The female tentacles all quivered in what Naruto assumed was a shiver of horror.

"Indeed. Early reports suggest this strange half-breed creature answers to the name Naruto Uzumaki and is rumored to hold Asmodea's seal and it is totally and undeniably his fault that Sephie-sama lost her position."

"Well that makes sense then. He must have seduced her using Asmodea's seal. What a bastard this Naruto is."

"A complete and utter bastard and we managed to get in touch with a few character witnesses for this 'Naruto'."

The screen showed Kiba, only with his eyes pixelated. The censorship was somewhat ruined by the fact the show gave his full name, age, galactic phone number and home address.

"Oh the Harem Lord? Yeah I know about him. He's practically my brother! I support his claim to the throne! He's going to kick Gid's ass. Plus, he's nailing that Lala princess, maybe even the others as well. Seriously he's a lucky bastard. So… When are you going to start the camera? Wait you mean it was already recording me!" Kiba's voice suddenly cut off.

"The Harem Lord?" The female sounded disgusted.

"Indeed," The male reported shook some of his tentacles. "He has many titles from what I have heard. The Sunese people refer to him as 'The Bloody Commander' due to the fact he sent Shukaku, the First Holy Knight, to investigate the drought on Suna. Last reports suggest 124,500 were dead or dying. He is also heralded as the '23rd Coming of Bahumut' by those who follow that religion."

"I think we'll just go with Harem Lord."

"How about you use my name or one of the cooler titles!" Naruto complained.

"Latest polls are showing this Harem Lord is only just more popular that the Space Bubonic Plague."

"That still has him a clear 10 Points higher than Gid at his peak. Now to Xxcasga's with the sports."

"Let's try a different channel," Nana quickly pressed a button on the remote.

"Hello and welcome to Space FOX news!" A devilukian yelled at the screen. "Today's big news! Sephie is cheating on Gid-sama! We have an expert witness who can say without doubt that the Naraku and Sephie have been nailing each other. What do you think?" He turned to his co-host, a female devilukian.

"I blame Space Obama! Without him this Naraku Uzukage would never have gained power from his lax approach to intergalactic affairs! I say we send some of our heroic lads and ladies to this backwater planet and give Naruku a good old Devilukian ass-kicking. Politics with the Charmian's be damned!"

"Who the hell is Naraku or Naruku Uzukage?" Naruto frowned.

"I think they mean you," Momo frowned.

"W-what? They think I am having sex with Sephie?"

"Are you?" Yui glared at him. "I like to believe I am fairly tolerant of your… shameless lifestyle but to lay with a woman who is married to someone else!" She crossed her arms angrily.

"Calm down," Sephie laughed. "Naruto-kun and I are just friends. These are all rumors that started because I didn't kill him when we fought."

"Not that you could," Naruto remarked.

"Oh Naruto-kun," Sephie squeezed his cheek. "I can hold my own against Gid-kun~ If you weren't so important to me I would have cut you down without blinking."

"Oh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Maybe we should go another round to see just how strong you are?"

"That's not a question I need answering," Sephie tilted her head.

"Geez get a room why don't you," Momo rolled her eyes. "Wait, don't do that! He's ours damn it!" Momo hugged Naruto to her chest.

"I'm trying to watch the TV!" Nana turned the volume up.

"And that's all we have on that story!" The other reporter declared. "Now onto other news! The Princess Lala is pregnant? We go to our secret source on the subject!"

The screen changed to show Run-chan, only her mouth was censored. "Lala is definitely getting fat. Maybe she is pregnant? Getting pregnant out of marriage is so scandalous and she should be forced to join a Convent and I should be having Naruto's child!"

"I wonder who that is," Lala tilted her head.

"You are joking right?" Naruto turned to the woman carrying his children.

"I can't tell who it because of the censoring." She squinted at the screen.

"She… She is screwing with me right?" Naruto turned to Momo.

"What do you think of that news?" The male host turned to the female one.

"I think pregnancy outside of wedlock is amoral! It is what is tearing this Galaxy apart!"

"I see," The male nodded. "Weren't you pregnant outside of marriage?"

"That is not the point! This could be fixed with teaching more kids who to fire energy blasts at a young age!"

"An interesting point." The host looked at the screen. "But now we have some great news for the Emperor himself. Wanted Galactic criminal Mikado Ryouko has been captured and executed! Gid-sama says that unlike the first time this happened, this isn't a duplicate to give the Empire the impression that the upper class have a grip on the situation. This time it really was her and not an innocent bystander that was killed. If you see someone who looks exactly like her, it is not this devious criminal."

"…Eh?" Naruto glanced over his shoulder as a perfectly healthy Mikado walked in to take readings from Lala.

"Oh when it came out that Mikado-chan created some nasty weapons Gid executed someone who looked like her to stop people worrying." Sephie smiled. "Occasionally rumors start that she is still alive so Gid executes another criminal who looks like her to stop them."

"Does he know that she lives here?"

"Don't worry," Mikado smiled at him. "I do a few side projects for the Empire so they know I'm alive and here. Gid finds me more useful to the Empire alive than dead."

"But he is killing innocent people." Yui frowned.

"Not so innocent," Sephie smiled. "He basically genetically modifies criminals from the 'Galactic Threat Level' prisons and executes them as Mikado-chan."

"Oh," Yui frowned. "Still though…" She grumbled before returning his attention to the TV.

"We're going to commercial now but we will be back shortly with an exclusive report saying Devilukians are the most violent and untrustworthy species in the galaxy. See what we do to the writer of that report who thinks he is going to be winning a car. Also the votes are in for Miss Galaxy! Did all the Empire's bribes succeed in nominating Miss Deviluke as the winner again? All this and more after these commercial messages."

Nana changed the channel again. "I hate news channels. They are so boring."

"This galaxy is completely screwed isn't it?" Naruto chuckled.

"H-Hey," Rito staggered into the room, looking a little pale."

"Rito?" Mikan ran over to him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," He smiled weakly. "Have… Have you seen Jelo?"

"Oh yeah," Naruto blinked. "She was going into that new Sports Gym that opened a few streets away from the cemetery. I thought it was a bit odd you were taking her there."

"I… I didn't," Rito blinked. "She… She said something about not wanting me to suffer when she finally died and knocked me out before leaving."

"But doesn't she still have a few days before she passes on?" Naruto glanced at Mikado.

"She would probably begin to deteriorate tomorrow." Mikado glanced at Rito sadly. "I wasn't able to make many advances on my research though. I'm sorry about that."

"You tried," Rito smiled sadly. "But still… I don't think anyone should spend their last moments alone. She… She has become important to me."

"Go," Mikan smiled softly at her big brother. "If you don't then you will regret it for the rest of your life."

"You're right!" Rito looked fired up. "I'm going!"

"Do you want anyone to go with you?" Mikan asked, glancing at Naruto. "I mean; it could be a trap."

"A trap?" Rito frowned. "Jelo wouldn't do that to me! She is a good person."

"Here," Mikado handed Rito a small bracelet, "This is a vitals monitor. If there is a spike, then we will be able to find you and help you. I'm not saying you will need it but please, for your sister's sake, wear it."

"Okay," Rito mumbled as he put on the strange watch. "Hopefully Jelo is still there."

"I'll send a few drones around to see if I can find her."

"Wait!" Lala knocked on the cell. "If it is a trap then Orochimaru will be expecting to see you. You need a disguise!"

"A disguise?" Rito frowned.

"Yup!" Lala gave a thumbs up. "You need to go as Riko-chan!"

"I knew it was you!" Naruto looked at Rito.

"I don't understand," Yui frowned.

"Naruto took Rito on a date," Momo waved a hand dismissively. "This was part of Onee-sama's perfect Harem plan. Although given Rito's recent behavior he has lost his right to become a part of it."

"Perfect harem?" Yui frowned. "What kind of shameless plan was that?"

"Oh I understand!" Sephie nodded approvingly. "If Rito-chan became a part of the harem, that would mean that the first love would as well."

"First love?" Rito blinked.

"Haruna," Naruto groaned as he face palmed. "Did you seriously try and turn Rito into a girl and make him fall in love with me just to get Haruna to join the harem? I mean family!" He quickly corrected himself.

"Well I figured that would make Rito and Haruna happy." Lala said defensively. "It was the best solution for everyone!"

"In her own way, she was trying to what was best," Rito accepted.

"She tried to turn you into a girl." Naruto deadpanned.

"I never said it was the right thing," Rito defended himself. "But… She really cares about you. I'm kind of jealous."

"Well," Naruto smiled at Lala. "She is a very loving person." He put his palm against the cell and Lala put hers against the cell next to his. "It's why I love her so much."

"Hehehe," Lala giggled softly.

"Do you smell burning?" Momo blinked.

"Ouch!" Naruto pulled his hand away from the cell.

"Ah sorry!" Lala looked tearful.

"No worries," Naruto smiled weakly as he shook his hand.

"Anyway," Momo interrupted the two lovers, "If you go as Riko then maybe you could catch Orochimaru off guard if it is a trap."

"Which it won't be," Rito repeated

"Rito…" Mikan looked at her older brother sadly, "If not for you then for me… please."

"Fine," Rito sighed and went upstairs, returning in a few minutes as Riko. "Happy?" She frowned.

"And for added protection!" Lala pointed at her D-Dial. "Naruto~ Press 3,6 then 7 please."

"Err… Okay." Naruto picked up the phone, receiving a mild electric shock as he did causing him to drop it.

"Oops," Lala hit herself on the head. "I forgot to disable the security feature."

"Here," Nana handed Naruto a chopstick. "Use this to press the buttons."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled at her.

"I-idiot! I am only doing it because I don't want to smell burnt human! I'm not doing because I like you or anything."

"Oh Nana-chan," Sephie sighed sadly. "If only you were more honest with Naruto-kun, I would have more daughters on the way."

"W-w-w-what?!" Nana stammered out.

"Still Nana is kind of cute when she is flustered." Naruto chuckled.

"D-dummy," Nana mumbled under her breath, her face practically glowing from the intensity of her blush.

"Naruto~" Lala whined. "My D-dial."

"Oh right," Naruto used the chopstick to dial in the number.

"Introducing Peke-chan MK2!" Lala declared as a strange octopus machine appeared in the room. "…Oh wait? Did I say 367? I meant 376."

"ONEE-SAMA!" Momo cried out as the mechanical octopus grabbed her and lifted her into the air. "What is this?!"

"Ane-ue!" Nana cried out in alarm as she too was scooped up. "W-watch where you are putting those damn tentacles!" She lashed out at the octopus.

"THIS IS NOT WHY I BECAME A FEMALE!" Riko struggled in vain as the tentacles started to creep between her impressive bust and around her inner thighs. "S-stop that!" She gasped as the tentacles pulled away the shirt and trousers, leaving her perk breasts exposed and only a pair of blue boxers protecting what was left of her/his modesty.

"On this is Cleany-Cleany kun." Lala happily remarked as the tentacle suckers started to secrete a sweet smelling liquid that lathered as the tentacles moved over the captured girl's bodies. "Guaranteed to clean every nook and cranny!"

"Tch," Momo growled. "Only Naruto gets to touch my nooks and crannies! **I am Momo Belial Deviluke and mine is the seal of Belial!" **Momo burst from the device. **"Do robots feel pain? Let us find out~" **She raised her palm, forming a crystalline red spear. **"Scream for me~ Oni Supaiku!" **She hurled the crystalline spear at the robot, penetrating it with minimal difficulty and causing a minor explosion that caused a half-naked Nana to land in Naruto's arms with spirals in her eyes. Riko fell to her knees, her legs feeling weak from the suddenly stimulation.

"Muu…" Lala pouted. "You could have just pressed the off button."

"**Where is the fun in that?" **Belial-Momo asked before closing her eyes and returning to normal. "Only Naruto gets to do that sort of stuff to me." She declared sullenly.

"Oh so Lala-chan has made a device that turns him into a tentacle monster?" Sephie smiled happily. "That brings back some fun memories~"

"…Seriously what the hell?!" Nana looked at her mother horrified.

"My opinion of the High Priestess is rapidly changing," Mikado blinked. "Then again they say it is always the nice ones who are freaks in bed."

"Onee-sama, do you have something like that?" Momo asked curiously.

"Well…" Lala looked thoughtful. "I could look into it. But first!" She looked at Naruto.

"Oh right," Naruto dialed the next number

"You summoned me Lala-sama?" Peke appeared in the room.

"I wondered where you had gotten to." Naruto remarked.

"Lala-sama has been working on me to improve my resilience for combat situations." Peke proudly announced.

"So how do you work?" Naruto asked.

"The same as before, only now I am much more durable!" Peke declared proudly.

"W-well," Riko staggered to her feet. "If it offers me some protection I guess I can't complain."

"Go Peke-chan!" Lala declared proudly as the robot wrapped around Riko and changed into a beautiful long dress that had a thigh cut, showing off her legs as well as a low v-cut around the neck, showing off a lot of her cleavage.

"I can't wear this!" Riko wailed.

"Well how about this?" Peke's voice called from the belt as the outfit changed into Lala's old outfit.

"This makes me stand out even more!"

"Hm… This?" Peke changed into a sexy Miko outfit.

"You are doing this on purpose!"

"This?" Peke changed into the school uniform.

"This is better," Riko tugged at the skirt, "But this seems a little short."

"That's the standard school uniform," Yui sighed. "I petitioned to have the skirt lengthened for some time with little effect."

"The principal?" Naruto asked.

"Indeed," Yui sighed sadly.

"Really," Riko bit her lip. "Well… I'm going to the gym then. Hopefully Jelo is still there."

"I'll have my drones look around," Momo remarked.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Momo glared at him. "I still haven't forgiven you for almost killing Naruto. The drones are just so I know that you aren't planning something else."

"Momo!" Naruto scowled sternly.

"Someone has to look out for you," Momo replied off-handedly.

"No, she's right to not trust me." Riko smiled sadly. "I did betray your trust."

"Just so long as you realize that," Momo left the room.

"I feel sorry for Momo," Nana sighed. "Being a berserker, even sealed as she is, makes her very protective of people she loves and very… hostile to those she views as threats."

Riko watched Momo leave the room sadly. _'I only wish there was a way for me to make things up to them. But first I need to find Jelo!' _She nodded as she raced out of the room.

* * *

"Hello?" Riko called out as she entered the gym. There was a woman sat at the counter with a smile that was entirely too fake for Riko's liking. She was wearing enough fake tan that she could lay naked on a pile of oranges and probably not get spotted. Her eyebrows and been shaved off and penciled back on, giving her a permanent look of surprise.

"Hello and welcome to Anaconda Gym. Are you interested in pursuing a membership?"

"Actually," Riko cleared her throat, "I am looking for… my twin sister? She looks a lot like me?"

"Do you have a name for her?"

"Er… Jelo?"

"I am sorry we don't have anyone that answers to that name here."

"You didn't even check?" Riko blinked before glancing at the busy gym. "There is a lot of people in there, maybe I could go in and look."

"Non-members are not allowed access."

"But there is something really important I need to tell her."

"Non-members are not allowed access."

"F-fine," Riko sighed. "How do I join?"

"We are sorry but the Gym is not accepting any new members right now."

"Damn it!" Riko scowled. "I am not stopping here! I have to see Jelo!"

"Non-members are not allowed access."

"Try and stop me!" Riko raced into the gym, looking around madly. She was surrounded by muscular men who all stopped as she entered, before winking at her and increasing the workouts they were doing. "Have you seen someone who looks like me?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it." One of the gym members paused. "She went into the back room about half an hour ago." He pointed to a set of double doors near the back of the gym.

"Thank you," Riko bowed.

"Don't mention it sweet thing."

"R-right," Riko quickly headed towards doors, aware of the hungry eyes on her. _'I suddenly understand why Kotegawa-san wanted the skirt's lengthening. I feel very exposed right now. I wonder if Haruna-chan gets this sort of harassment…' _She clenched her fists. _'I hope not.'_

Opening the double doors, Riko found herself in an abandoned room. Empty boxes and damaged tables littered it. There were no signs of any other way in or out.

"Jelo?" Riko whispered as she crept around. "Are you here?"

Silence was her response.

"Damn it!" Riko cursed as she looked through the room for any clues. "Wait a minute…" She noticed a patch on the floor near a wall that looked as if something had been dragged across it. "A secret entrance!" She smirked as she started to push against the wall and it started to move around, revealing a metallic corridor that lead to an elevator. "This… This looks like some sort of secret lab. Is this really a trap?" Riko pulled out her phone but found she had no signal. "I'd best…" She turned around to see the eerily smiling receptionist.

"Non-members are not allowed access." The receptionist grabbed Riko's right arm tightly.

"W-what?" Riko struggled against her grip.

"Trespassers will be punished." The receptionist's eyes suddenly glowed red and she went to punch Riko who leaned out of the way, blinking in horror as the wall crumbled like paper under the force of her punch.

"W-what the hell?!" Riko squeaked in horror.

"I've got this Riko-san!" Peke announced as the left arm of Riko's uniform transformed into an armoured glove crackling with energy. "Punch her now!"

"R-right!" Riko struck her assailant cleanly in the jaw, before the glove released a sudden pulse of energy that caused the receptionist to stagger backwards, energy arching throughout her body, melting the fake skin to reveal the metallic skeleton with glowing red power lines wrapped around her body.

"It appears this is indeed a trap Riko-san. I would advise a quick retreat."

"Er…" Riko noticed as several of the gym members walked in with the same strange smile as the robot before her. "I think that isn't an option."

"Against my better judgement, I believe the elevator may be your best hope for escaping." Peke suggested.

"You want me to go deeper into the rabbit hole?" Riko paused as one of the gym members picket up a giant steel cabinet and crushed it into a small ball of steel. "On the other hand…" She ran towards the elevator and hammered the controls. "Please go now!"

The robots marched towards her at a steady gait, the doors shutting and the elevator starting to move before they reached her.

"C-crap!" Riko remembered the lack of a phone signal. "I wasn't able to let the others know!"

"Both your bracelet and I have trackers built into us." Peke explained. "As such it is highly probable that when your phone lost signal, so did the computer tracking me. Lala-sama will have notified Naruto-dono immediately and we should be rescued momentarily."

"Oh," Riko let out a sigh of relief. "So I guess that means I should focus on finding Jelo right?"

"I would recommend finding a safe spot to hide until reinforcements come." Peke remarked. "Whilst I am combat capable, it appears I can only do limited damage to those targets. I was upgraded with non-lethal armaments that do not seem to work against these mechanical opponents."

"Non-lethal," Riko blinked. "You melted their skin!"

"It does appear that some calibration is required." Peke remarked. "Lala-sama never got around to field testing my new capabilities."

The doors to the elevator slid open softly and Riko crept out. It looked like she was in a very large basement, very similar to the one where she/he had saved Jelo from in the first place. There were plenty of empty cargo containers lying around as well as various hi-tech machines. The room was mostly dark with only a few lights scattered around allowing Riko to see anything at all.

"I think we can definitely say this is Orochimaru's new lair." Riko mumbled as she crept through the cargo area.

"I know you are here Rito-kun~" Orochimaru's voice sounded through some speakers. "You really did a number on my receptionist. Tut, tut. You earthlings are so impolite! Still I suppose you are here to see… what was it you called her again? Jelo? So cute."

"You'd better not have done anything to her!" Riko yelled.

"Oh my, you sound a lot more feminine than I remember."

"Well you sound a lot more male!"

"My old body was unfortunately out of commission so I must make do with this new one. Now why don't you stop skulking around and come say hello." A large spotlight appeared on her. "Just follow the trail~" A series of red lights suddenly lit up on the floor.

"I would advise not following the trail." Peke warned.

"He knows where I am regardless," Riko jerked her head at the spotlight. "Besides if Jelo is in danger I can't just leave her!"

"At the risk of upsetting you, she has less than 24 hours of functionality left. If you hold any meaning to her, she would not want you endangering yourself for her sake."

"How do you know that?"

"We are the same," Peke remarked. "Admittedly my creator was a lot smarter than hers and as such was able to design a longer lasting model by incorporating cybernetics rather than genetic material, but we are both fundamentally alive. Should my vessel be damaged, I would not want Lala-sama to risk harm in order to save me."

"But I can't just leave her," Riko shook her head. "I'm sorry Peke."

"It is okay." Peke replied. "I believe that Lala-sama would make the same decision. That doesn't mean I like it though."

"Let's go then." Riko smiled softly. "Do you have a full combat mode?"

"It is untested but yes."

"Good," Riko cracked her knuckles and followed the trail until she reached what looked like some sort of strange platform. Jelo (in her usual green slime girl form) was suspended over a vat of a strange bubbling liquid. "Jelo!"

"Yuuki Rito?" Jelo looked confused. "I, Jelo, believed you were male."

"It's a long story," Riko laughed weakly. "Don't worry. I'm to save you!"

"No! Yuuki Rito must leave! Master will punish you if you stay!"

"It is too late for that my dear," Orochimaru stepped from the shadows. He had his hands in the pockets of his white lab coat that was stained by various different chemical stains. His freakishly pale skin and slitted nose made Riko feel uncomfortable, especially when his slitted eyes started to look her up and down.

"Let Jelo go!" Riko yelled.

"Are you sure you want that?" Orochimaru smiled. "Didn't you want to save her? What if I could?"

"…What's your price?"

"Yuuki Rito no!" Jelo cried out.

"Well since you are quite possibly the worst assassin I have ever tried to use," Orochimaru clicked his fingers and a seat materialized behind him. "I don't think I'll try and get you to kill Naruto-kun… At least not without make a few changes to you first."

"What do you mean?!" Riko scowled.

"I suppose the question here is: How much do you trust your friends?"

"I don't understand."

"See I could turn you into the ultimate killing machine. Maybe Lala would be able to cure you if Naruto held back and didn't kill you. But can you be sure that is what they would do? I mean Momo-chan seems quite angry with you and Lala isn't your best friend right now~"

"What has this got to do with anything?"

"You are quite slow aren't you?" Orochimaru sighed dramatically. "I will extend Jelo-chan's life. The price is that you surrender to me and I will play around with your DNA."

"And you promise that you will extend her life?"

"Yuuki Rito! Do not listen to him!"

"I promise," Orochimaru put his hand on his chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"I surrender." Riko bowed her head.

"Yuuki Rito…" Jelo smiled sadly. "I… I am glad I got to meet you. Goodbye."

"What do you…" Riko's eyes widened as Jelo oozed out of her constraints and fell into the strange liquid.

"Oh isn't that a shame?" Orochimaru sighed. "That is a strong acid specifically designed to dissolve… Jelo wasn't it?"

"N-No!" Riko charged the vat and punched it. "Peke!"

"Understood!" Peke transformed the arms into rocket boosted hammers and began hammering away at the vat, failing to damage the glass. "Structure is too dense for me to damage Rito-san."

"Damn it! Can you get me on the top?"

"Of course." Rito's outfit changed into a sort of rocket powered space suit, allowing Riko to flying into the vat and collected Jelo before firing out again.

"Warning. The material appears to be affecting my powers…" Peke warned. "Structural integrity is greatly reduced."

"Jelo…" Riko looked at the slime girl who was struggling to retain her form.

"I'm glad…" Jelo smiled. "I was able to see you one last time… Thank you… Yuuki… Rito…"

"I'm going to save you, I promised." Riko whispered. "I…"

"There are… different ways to save someone… You gave my life hope…" Jelo reached inside her body and handed a solid green gemstone to Riko. "You have already saved me… Please… Keep this close… and never forget… This wasn't your fault…"

"Jelo…"

"I… love you… Yuuki Ri…" Her body collapsed into a puddle, with only the emerald core in Riko's hand.

"Jelo…" Riko blinked. "No…" She hugged the emerald core to her heart. "Why?"

"Well." Orochimaru sighed. "She was a failure to the very end."

"You bastard…" Riko glared at Orochimaru as she put the core in her pocket. "This is all your fault!"

"Still maybe you could serve me better."

"I… I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Riko roared. "You play around with people as if they are just toys, as if they don't even matter!"

"Oh poor misguided human," Orochimaru mocked. "You, Jelo and even that blonde moron Naruto, you are all just pawns. You are all meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Compared to the players such as myself and the Emperor… you are worthless."

"Peke…" Riko growled through gritted teeth. "Do you have combat capabilities left?"

"… I am currently able to operate at 45% capability. Safety protocols are damaged. I cannot guarantee that any attacks will be non-lethal nor that you will be shielded against them properly."

"I don't care…" Riko's angry eyes never left Orochimaru.

"Oh did the truth hurt you?" Orochimaru smirked.

"DIE!" Rito charged Orochimaru, her arms coated in crackling energy.

"Well isn't this interesting," Orochimaru didn't make any move to block the punch.

"Gargh?!" Riko stumbled backwards as her left arm started bleeding heavily.

"That is quite an unstable weapon," Orochimaru chuckled. "True it allowed you to hurt me in my original body, but the damage you sustained is far more severe."

"S-shut up!" Riko yelled. "I… I have to make you pay!"

"Well I'm not going anywhere." Orochimaru smirked.

"Damn it!" Riko threw another punch and screamed as her right arm started to bleed.

"I must advise against continued aggression!" Peke warned.

"I can't give in… I always give in. I look for the easy way out… Not anymore…" Riko tried to raise her arms only to fall to the floor as a fierce blow hit her across the back of the head. Peke managed to absorb most of the damage but it was enough to daze Riko.

"Ah Kimimaro-kun~ I trust you sent the message to Naruto?"

"He will be at the location you have selected."

"Excellent," Orochimaru looked at Riko who was trying to stand up. "Ah, first things first…" He nodded to Kimimaro who pulled Peke away from the injured Riko, tossing the small robot away as the mostly naked Riko lay helpless. "We don't want that little robot spoiling the big surprise do we?"

"W-what?" Riko groaned.

"I have to admit, if you hadn't have followed Jelo-chan I would have had to risk Kimimaro tonight and captured my target myself. Fortunately, you arrived and will fight Naruto so Kimimaro-kun can fulfil my wishes. Do you know the really amusing thing? Naruto won't be able to fight you at full strength~ He will hold back and that will give me all the time I need to take my true target."

"True target?"

"All I want is a body that can last as long as my soul. To do that I need money."

"Tenjouin-san… You are going to kidnap her again!"

"Got it in one. I am impressed."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why?" Orochimaru smirked. "Because it won't make any difference. Nighty-night. You'll want to be rested for your fight~" Orochimaru knocked Riko out before glancing at Kimimaro. "Take her to my lab. If she likes being a woman so much… Well we will see what I can do~"

"As you wish." Kimimaro bowed. "Shall I prepare to capture your true target?"

"Your target is the Tenjouin. I will sort out my next vessel." Orochimaru smirked.

Everything was falling into place. Soon he would have a vessel that was free from the ravages of time and with considerable power to boot.

Not to mention the other benefits of being a princess of the Devilukian Empire.


	31. Chapter 31: The Darkness Meets the Rage

TLR

A/N: Wow this took a long time to write. Hopefully the quality of this chapter is better than my previous ones.

For those of you worried about my deleting this story like I did the others, I have no plans to delete this story so if it ever does go missing, it wasn't me who took it down.

This chapter as supposed to be the end of the Orochimaru Arc but the original idea was far too rushed so it has been expanded on. I am hoping that this arc will finally be over in the next chapter but I have no idea when that will be out. There is quite a lot going on in this chapter and it itdoes reference stuff from several chapters (and arcs) ago.

Unfortunately, this stories updates will be more spaced out. I have already plans to start the story again with a few changes but will at least finish this arc before I made a final decision on that. Even if I do take that course, this story will still receive occasional updates but they will be more like individual stories per chapter (like how this story started) involving the girls rather than a wider Arc.

Also the One Shot Polls are closed and the winning story has had it's first chapter written. Anyone wishing to continue it can speak to the person who suggested the idea. I won't be continuing the story for a long time if at all.

I did say in the one shot that I would have an omake ready as an apology but as my omake was more of a mini-chapter for an alternative start, much like the Devilukian edition omake. It will be included in the next chapter instead.

My focus for the immediate future will be DJunk101's co-fanfic, who kindly helped me with this chapter.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter and thanks for all the support. I wouldn't have made it this far without you all.

Also… Sorry about the cliffhanger.

* * *

**Chapter 31: The Darkness Meets the Rage.**

Zastin tried to contain his growing agitation as he sat in car parked outside the gym that Riko had recently entered. This was a task assigned to him by Lala-sama and Naruto-dono and as such, he would perform it to the best of his ability. He had ditched his armor for something less conspicuous. He was currently wearing a suit and sunglasses, the outfit of choice for spies in one of Lala's favorite manga. Unfortunately, the two assistants he had been assigned were not so diligent in their duties.

The seventh holy knight, Fu, was also 'helping' him, although her version of 'helping' was dressing in a skimpy school suit and loudly cat calling anyone that walked by. This wasn't helped by her tan skin and mint green hair, features not exactly common to Japan. In fact, the only thing that redeemed her somewhat in Zastin's point of view were the sunglasses that she was wearing.

His other assistant was the first holy knight, Shukaku. She was completely naked, her sandy skin only covered by a series of blue tattoos and blood, blending in with her crimson hair as it cascaded down her shoulders.

Any attempts to be inconspicuous were doomed from the start, as clearly evident by the people constantly stopping to stare at the car.

Unbeknownst to Zastin, Yami was also overlooking the scene as a favor to Mikan. Thanks to the attention that Zastin and his assistants were drawing, it had been fairly simply to infiltrate the gym, although Yami was somewhat concerned by the fact the gym appeared to be empty. There were several machines that were still warm, as if the people using them had just left a short time ago.

As she entered the warehouse at the back of the gym, she saw some scattered boxes and knocked over shelves that suggested to her a fight had taken place here. She noticed some debris further in and moved towards it.

'These are cheap combat models.' Yami frowned as she knelt down to investigate the broken machinery. Its fake skin had started to melt as if it had been struck by some sort of high temperature weapon. Scanning the room, she noticed the scratches on the floor near a secret entrance and transformed her hair into a crowbar to pry the door open. On the other side of the entrance there were several humanoid combat units stood in a group. As she stepped forward they turned as one to look at her.

"Unknown target… Eliminating."

Yami merely narrowed her eyes. Whilst cheap combat units such as this were relatively easy for her to destroy, the limited space in which to move hindered her somewhat. Fortunately, they didn't appear to be armed and as Yami leapt backwards, crouching low with her hair transformed into two blades either side of her body, the mob of robots lurched forwards like a zombie horde, willingly stepping into the more spacious room.

"I have been assigned the target Rito Yuuki," Yami intoned. "Nothing gets between me and my target." She waited until the horde had fully entered the room and started to surround her before leaping forwards with an almost feline grace. She slipped between the clumsy robots, dismantling them with rapid precise strikes from her transformed hair and barely ten seconds after the robots had left the secret corridor, they were scattered across the storage room, sparking as they failed.

With only the briefest glances to confirm the deactivated status of the robotic horde, Yami deftly stepped into the secret passageway, glancing at the metal walls with a slight air of concern. The material of the walls was a highly expensive extraterrestrial alloy, meaning the person who created this place likely had some impressive weapons at their disposal. Still, it was nothing that Yami wasn't used to.

"Mikan." Yami tapped a small bead that was attached to the neck of her dress.

"Yami-chan? Is there a problem?"

"…Nothing I can't handle." Yami frowned, unable to bring herself to voice her concerns and potentially upset Mikan. "It appears that there was a trap in place here, but I have everything under control."

"And Rito?" The worry in Mikan's voice was plain to hear.

"I have yet to establish a visual, but there were no signs of blood or a potential injury so it should be safe to assume that the individual responsible wanted to capture rather than kill Rito-san."

"That's… a relief?" Mikan sounded conflicted. "I… Keep yourself safe as well Yami-chan."

"Understood." Yami disconnected the call and headed towards the elevator, pressing a button to recall the elevator. Then, using her hair, she hung just above the door, waiting for it to open. She wanted to make sure she wasn't visible should anyone be inside the elevator ready to spring an ambush on her. A wise decision it would seem, as when the doors to the elevator opened a volley of high powered laser fire shot out, the metal walls and floor sparking as they were scorched by the barrage.

After a good few minutes of automatic laser fire, a heavy build combat robot rolled out. It had tank treads and was as tall as a normal human, but unlike the cheaper models she had dismantled, this one made no attempt to disguise itself as human. It had a thick azure plating rather than skin and two large laser rifles where arms should be. They had cables running into the power pack mounted on its back, the barrels still glowing red hot as it cooled down from the automatic barrage.

'Terumi Systems Model 12-ab. Codename Azure.' Yami frowned softly. 'Military Grade hardware. Common structural weaknesses on unaltered models include weak protection on the primary weapon power coils and insufficient electrical shielding on the main armor. In this corridor it will struggle to turn around so I should be safe if I drop down behind it.' She nodded to herself as she quietly dropped behind the robot and quickly cut the power lines to the main weapons before activating the elevator, watching dispassionately as the severed wires started to spark as they channelled their voltage through the robot causing it to splutter and cough before dying with a weak groan as the elevator doors shut.

Yami took the brief moment to scan the elevator for any camera equipment, finding to her relief the elevator lacked anything other than a control panel and a light system. 'Still, I shouldn't drop my guard. My target could still be in here.'

As the elevator doors opened, Yami had once again hidden against the ceiling, although there was no weapons fire to greet the opening of the doors and using a small mirror, Yami was able to peer through the doorway without exposing herself to weapons fire. It appeared that there was no greeting party for her, so she deftly landed back on her feet and left the elevator, raising her eyebrows as she took in the large warehouse. She noted there were several empty crates scattered around as well as piles of smaller crates, all bearing military grade stamps of various forces throughout the galaxy. There was no sign of organization, with the crates placed haphazardly throughout the room and on the large metal frames scattered throughout the underground facility. In short, it didn't seem like this was a long term base and Yami started to suspect she wouldn't find anything of value. Hoping the emblems on the crates could offer some clues as to Rito's location, she walked over to one of the small piles and examined them.

'The Beastkin Liberation Front, The One True King Movement, The Holy Brigade…' Yami frowned. 'These are all terrorist organizations. Could this Orochimaru be working for them all in exchange for materials?' She shrugged. 'It is not relevant to my current mission.' She mused as she tried to calculate the exact size of the warehouse and identify any potential sniper holes.

'This must use the same technology as my primary target's house.' Yami paused as she thought of Naruto. Whilst initially Naruto had wanted to go with her, Yami had pointed out she worked better alone and that Naruto should focus on the princess. Naruto had conceded and merely told her that he had faith in her and to come back safe. It was strange for someone to show concern for her wellbeing, especially someone who she was supposed to be trying to kill.

'Focus!' Yami thought to herself harshly as she continued searching the room until she came to a strange sort of storage tube. The front glass was damaged as if something had struck it with great force, but whatever it was had failed to break the viewing glass. There was a strong acidic smell about the container and a strange stain on the floor nearby. Bending down Yami took a small sample and stored it in a vial for the princess and Mikado to look at later. There was also a small splatter of dried blood nearby and scuff marks across the floor, as if something had been dragged away.

"Excuse me… You're one of Lala-sama's friends aren't you?"

Yami quickly span around, her hair formed into countless blades, her eyes scanning for the source of the voice until she noticed a badly damaged Peke crawling towards her. "… You are the clothing robot. You appear damaged." Her voice carried no hints of concern and was more a vocal confirmation that she had seen him.

"My systems are reporting a loss of 90% of non-vital functions and considerable damage to my memory units." Peke stopped crawling, looking like an awkward pile of sparking machinery. The robot's limbs all showing severe signs of damage and only one of his eye swirls were visible. "Unfortunately Rito Yuuki was taken further into the compound."

"Threat assessment?" Yami asked bluntly.

"Er… There was this scary guy called Orochimaru, but he has this pale servant called Kimimaro who is really strong and intimidating! Apparently he is going to try and kidnap Tenjouin-san."

"That doesn't concern me." Yami remarked bluntly as she picked up the damaged robot. "Do you have any abilities remaining?"

"I only retain one form unfortunately," Peke turned into a headband with cat ears. "All other data has been destroyed from my memory banks."

"…I see…" Yami uncertainly put the headband on, fighting a strange compulsion to paw at her face and say 'Nyaa.' "Which way did they take Rito Yuuki."

"Straight ahead!"

"Understood." Yami set off deeper into the warehouse, following the trail on the floor until it approached a small lab. "Target sighted." The blonde assassin narrowed her eyes. It appeared that Rito was still in his/her female form, suspended in another storage vessel in the middle of the set up. Various counters and displays were set up around the room with wires running into the large column of liquid that held the young girl/boy.

"This equipment is familiar." Yami intoned. "I… I remember it."

"Remember it?" Peke asked curiously.

"I was born in a similar arrangement." The assassin felt a strange sensation in her stomach. A vague memory of a happy smiling face and a feeling of fondness flashed across her mind before she suppressed it. "It appears whatever procedure was being planned has already been carried out."

"Is Rito-san okay?"

"…Mikado would be the only one who could answer that." Yami transformed her hair and went to slash open the vial, only to leap backwards as her instincts screamed at her she was under attack. As she skidded backwards, she saw several large white spears drive themselves into the concrete floor. "I am not alone."

"So you are the little kitten who destroyed all those robots." A pale youth stepped out from some boxes. He was wearing a loose fitting robe and stared at Yami as if she were something unpleasant he had on the bottom of his shoes.

"Are you an obstacle to my mission?" Yami's hair floated around her, forming several blades which aimed themselves at the vitals of the new arrival.

"You wish to take the human back to the Uzumaki residence?" Kimimaro shook his head. "That is not possible. My master gave explicit instructions that they must remain here until the genetic modification is complete."

"Then you are an obstacle," Yami crouched and launched herself at Kimimaro like a whirlwind of blades as the pale youth drew two blades from his shoulder blades and parried the flurry of attacks. The smaller Yami was a constant blur of motion, never settling down long enough to allow Kimimaro to fightback but unable to overpower the taller boy's guard.

"I had hoped that Uzumaki would have tried to rescue his friend. I would take great pleasure in killing him."

"Uzumaki Naruto is my target," Yami narrowed her eyes as she leapt back from Kimimaro to catch her breath. "I shall be the one to kill him."

"Yet here you are helping him? It appears the rumors about you are wrong Golden Darkness."

"You know of me?"

"When Orochimaru-sama heard you were in the system he was concerned you might be a hindrance to his plans but as you are… you're not even a challenge." His body started to protrude bone plates that covered all of his flesh. "My faith in Orochimaru is indestructible and my faith is manifest in my armor!"

"Nuisance," Yami resumed her attack, her hair forming into blades but between the armor and sword skills of her target, she struggled to land a solid blow, instead only causing minor scratches to the bone plates.

"All obstacles to Orochimaru must be destroyed!" Kimimaro declared as he slashed at Yami far faster than she was expecting with all the armor plates covering him. He managed to score a light wound against her stomach.

"You should retreat!" Peke warned.

"Mikan is counting on me." Yami scowled as the wound on her stomach closed. "Did you ever wonder… why they call me the Golden Darkness?"

"I assume because your hair is golden but you live in the darkness as an assassin."

"Incorrect." Yami closed her eyes. "Primary Limits Removed. Judgement core control: 10%"

"What are you…" Kimimaro suddenly leapt backwards as a surge of energy exploded from Yami. When it faded Yami appeared largely unchanged, although rather than her usual deadpan expression, she had a sinister smirk and was licking her lips.

"What is this?" Kimimaro couldn't explain it, but it was if the foe before him was a completely different entity to the one he had been facing previously. Her eyes were full of a sadistic malice and her stance was more sensual than before, her hands on her hips which she swayed as she walked around him.

"I usually don't like to talk, it tells my opponents too much," Yami smirked. "But it really doesn't matter in your case~ They call me the Golden Darkness because of my hair and the fact I have the Core of Judgement or the Core of Darkness inside of me. It is an ancient artifact only matched by the Core of Genesis or Core of Light. Even the Damus themselves never matched the power that the Core of Judgement is capable of! 10% is overkill for the likes of you."

"So you can increase your power a little?" Kimimaro smirked. "I'm not impressed."

"Oh, I wasn't trying to impress you," Yami laughed. "I don't care what a corpse thinks of me."

"Big words from…" Kimimaro was cut off by Yami suddenly appearing next to him and delivering a fierce roundhouse kick that shattered the armor. "W-what?" He staggered backwards and raised his swords to parry her transformed hair, only for her to cut through his defences like butter. "N-No… This isn't possible! I… I have to report this to Orochimaru-sama!" He turned to flee from Yami.

"Where are you going little boy?" Yami appeared in front of him and punched him hard in the stomach. "Oh that looked like it hurt~"

"D-damn it…" Kimimaro fell to his knees and clutched his stomach as his bone armor plating crumbled away into dust. "I am sorry… Orochimaru-sama." He pulled a button from his robe and pressed it. "

"What was that supposed to do?" Yami taunted.

"It has activated the kill switch on Rito Yuuki's tank."

"What do I care about that?" Yami froze suddenly as Mikan swam into her mind. "I… No I haven't finished having fun yet!" She started to fight with herself, Kimimaro taking the opportunity to flee. "I… I am here to save Yuuki Rito." Her usually deadpan expression returned. "Primary Limit Engaged. Judgement Core at 0.05% - Minimal Life Support Value." She suddenly staggered as if she had been struck.

"Yami-san?" Peke was worried. Whatever the energy source that Yami had used was, it had caused considerable stress to her body.

"I have to save Yuuki Rito." Yami mumbled as she stumbled towards the vessel where Riko was suspended, smashing open the vessel and catching the taller girl as she fell.

"Where… What… Jello!" Riko's eyes shot open. "I… Oh no… She…"

"Yuuki Rito is safe." Yami intoned bluntly. "Primary objective completed." She leaned against one of the control platforms and slipped to the floor.

"But Jello… she…" Riko wiped tears from her eyes. "I was powerless… I should have known better." She suddenly looked around panicking. "Is it still here?!" She ran around the lab, letting out a gasp of relief as she found the emerald core that Jello had given her. "I found it…"

"A G.E.L.F. control core?" Yami raised an eyebrow.

"A… A what?" Riko glanced at the small blonde.

"In short-term GELFs, it is more feasible to create a central control unit as opposed to fully functioning organs. Think of it as her brain and heart."

"I… I see…" Riko hugged the core to her chest. "She… she gave me her heart… I wasn't… I couldn't…" She started to sob gently.

"There is no time to stay." Yami warned the young girl.

"I… You're right." She wiped her face. "We have to get out of here." She glanced at Yami. "Er… Why are you wearing cat ears?"

"This is my only form after the damage I sustained." Peke's voice came from the ears.

"Ah… Sorry…" Riko frowned. "I guess… I'm not really much of a fighter. I got you hurt Peke-san."

"Do not fear. Lala-sama can repair me." Peke chirped happily. "And do not worry about your combat prowess. I am sure that Lala-sama can think of another way for you to fight."

"Actually… I don't think I should… Jello said that I'm not a fighter and that's why she liked me." Riko smiled softly at the emerald in her arms. "If I try and fight I'll only get in the way."

"That is correct," Yami responded bluntly.

"Ouch," Riko flinched.

"Besides," The blonde assassin paused, "I believe you would make Mikan sad if anything happened to you. If you make her sad… You will become my target." Two blades of blonde hair pointed at his neck. "Are we clear?"

"C-crystal clear." Riko gulped nervously. "It's kind of weird to get threatened by a girl with cat ears. I may have just lost a personal preference." She shivered.

"Yuuki-san… You appear to have canine ears as well." Peke helpfully added.

"I…" Riko put her hands on her head. "W-w-w-what the hell?!" She stroked two dog ears on her head. "WHAT THE HELL?!" She looked at her rear where a dog's tail was wagging.

"It appears that Rito-san has undergone some genetic modification," Peke commented as Riko tried to pull off her ears, yelping in pain as she tried.

"But… But…" Riko slumped.

"The Princess will be able to resolve this." Yami stated. "Her intelligence is far greater than Orochimaru's."

"You… You're right!" Riko nodded. "Did you see Orochimaru?!"

"I did not." Yami shook her head.

"We have to warn Saki-san!" Riko suddenly remembered, "Orochimaru is planning to kidnap her!"

"We must report in to Mikan first." Yami stated as they left the warehouse. "Do not drop your guard. Kimimaro may still be in the area."

Back on the surface, Zastin was rapidly losing the will to live, trying and failing to explain to his subordinates why they had to stay in the car.

"So do you understand now?" Zastin rubbed his forehead.

"I get that we have to watch the gym because someone is in there…" Fu lazily lounged in her chair. "But why are we here again? I thought I would get to see Naru-chan :/"

"I was informed that Behemoth-sama required my assistance." Shukaku slowly turned to glare at Zastin. "I was promised that I would be able to slay his enemies this day."

"N-Naruto-dono was responsible for this mission." Zastin fidgeted under the unfaltering glare of the first knight. "And if his enemies arrive then it will be up to you to kill them."

"I see," Shukaku settled down.

"So what are we actually doing here? :3" Fu leaned forward to stare out of the window over the top of her sun glasses.

"Yuuki Rito, Naruto's friend, is inside that building and it could be a trap." Zastin explained as slowly as possible to ensure the seventh knight actually understood this time. "However it could also be the scene of an emotional confrontation. As such Lala-sama decided to enlist my services."

"But why are we here~" Fu whined. "We were having fun on Suna… Shu-chan was killing people left and right and I was enjoying the weather. Don't you have minions of your own?"

"Purging Suna of the heretics causing the drought is a vital task Behemoth-sama entrusted me with." Shukaku intoned.

"Naruto-dono was torn between staying with Lala-sama who is in the last stages of her pregnancy and assisting Rito-san with his quest." Zastin coughed. "Momo-sama was adamant that Naruto stay with Lala-sama and so she made arrangements that he was comfortable with. In the event that Rito-san is in trouble we are to assist."

"Pregnancy?" Shukaku frowned. "Is a blasphemer claiming to carry the noble offspring of Behemoth-sama?!"

"Er… No!" Zastin quickly tried to protect Lala.

"Good. The 23rd coming of the Behemoth should not father children. That would be heresy and heresy must be punished." Shukaku settled back in her chair.

"If we're supposed to be protecting the guy shouldn't we be near him? Come on let's go inside and crack some skulls!" Fu rocked in her seat.

"W-well," Zastin fidgeted. "Lala-sama believes that this G.E.L.F that Rito-san is going to meet could solve a potential issue with the harmony of her family and it would be best not to interfere."

"Eh?" Fu blinked.

"She believes that should Rito-san develop feelings for the girl, this would open up a spot for Naruto-dono's first crush." Zastin looked sad, "Lala-sama truly wishes for Naruto-sama to be happy, even though she knows it would jeopardize her position of head of the family."

"Sounds more like she is trying to manipulate people," Fu chuckled, "She really is Gid-kun's daughter eh?"

"She is trying to ensure everyone is happy!" Zastin defended his charge angrily.

"This is irrelevant." Shukaku interrupted them. "How are we to know the status of the target? I have no intention of failing a mission assigned to me in Behemoth-sama's name."

"We have a monitor connected to an invention of Lala-sama's and should Rito-san get into trouble this machine shall inform us." He pointed to a small device on the dashboard.

"Oh that's what that was," Fu laughed. "It was beeping and annoying me so I turned it off :P"

"D-damn it!" Zastin quickly leapt from the car, less enthusiastically followed by Fu and Shukaku. He charged into the gym looking for a receptionist, only to find the gym empty. "This is bad…" He pulled a small phone device from his pocket, "The D-Dial Lala-sama provided me with cannot find the device she gave to Rito-san."

"So… we lost him? Oh well we tried." Fu turned to leave.

"Wait," Zastin put a hand on the smaller girl's shoulder. "I cannot face Lala-sama if I fail in my task."

"It appears we are not alone." Shukaku pointed to the back of the gym as the doors opened and an embarrassed Riko was being escorted by Yami.

"W-what the hell?" Riko cried out as sand suddenly enveloped her and lifted her into the air.

"Is this an enemy?" Shukaku asked hopefully.

"No Shu-chan! Bad!" Fu pulled a spray bottle from a glowing seal on her arm and sprayed the first knight with it. "No crushing Naru-kun's friends!"

* * *

Riko tried to cover herself as best she could as she floated inside another test chamber, this time in Mikado's lab. The strange goo surrounding her felt weird and occasionally she felt a strange jolt of energy through her body via one of the many bandages hiding small analytical devices that were plastered across her body.

Stood before her, Mikado was frowned as she looked at a series of numbers and readings that meant very little to Riko, but were apparently the cause of some concern for the alien doctor. Mikan was also in the lab, looking very worried.

"Is he okay?" Mikan asked as she tried to peer at the tablet in Mikado's hands.

"Hm?" Mikado smiled at the young girl. "Oh Rito… He is… Well it is hard to say. His entire genetic code has been rewired somewhat haphazardly."

"That doesn't sound good," Mikan looked worried.

"Oh there's nothing to worry about." Mikado reassured her, patting her on her head. "She's genetically stable for the most part. The only area of concern is the fact that Rito-san is supposed to be male. Lala-chan's invention may not be able to return him to his original gender thanks to the modifications to his DNA. Plus, there is no telling how the alien DNA that had been grafted onto his own would react as that DNA is female so a simple DNA recall, that is to say forcing his DNA to return to its original configuration, wouldn't work as he would then have the foreign female DNA interfering with his human male DNA. I have several simulations running through different tests so hopefully we will soon have a way to revert him back to male safely."

"I see," Mikan frowned.

"The main concern I have is why did Orochimaru do this?" Mikado tapped her chin and stared at Rito. "He has nothing to gain from this experiment. As far as I can tell besides the canine ears and tail this new form would not benefit Rito-san in any way." She shook her head. "Experimentation like this is expensive and very dangerous, Rito-san could have easily been turned into a mindless monster and attacked whoever tried to experiment on her. For Orochimaru to have put so much effort into the work… There has to be something we are missing."

"When can Rito come out?" Mikan asked hopefully.

"Until I can say without any doubt that he poses no threat to the others in this house." Mikado smiled sadly. "I know it must be tough for both of you but I'm afraid it is too dangerous to let Rito have free reign of the house. Orochimaru must have some sort of plan, so under no circumstances are you to let her… Sorry, him out."

"I understand." Riko smiled weakly as she floated in the vessel.

"I'll keep you company!" Mikan announced. "I mean… I made you some cookies but…" She slumped as she gestured to the containment unit.

"I'm sure they will taste great," Riko smiled. "I'm sure that between Mikado and Lala they'll be able to figure out how to undo whatever that guy did to me."

"I'm sorry about Jello," Mikan smiled at Riko, "But I know you did everything you could. She… She didn't have much time left, but I'm sure she treasured every moment she spent with you."

"…Thanks Mikan," Riko smiled weakly and the two siblings fell into an uneasy silence.

Outside the lab, an impatient Naruto was pacing around waiting for Mikado to leave. Since Riko was in their naked it was decided that only girls were allowed in the lab. He knew he should have gone with Rito, but at the same time he didn't want to abandon Lala, especially given her current state. Whilst she acted quite chirpy and friendly, he could sense her fear and anxiety through their bond.

He was being watched by Momo who was sat on a table with a worried expression. Ever since Riko had been brought back, Naruto was torn between blaming himself for not going with Rito, blaming Orochimaru for whatever his plan was and fretting about Lala's pregnancy.

"You are going to pace a hole in the carpet at this rate." Momo smiled at him. "Pacing isn't going to help anyone right now."

"Yeah I know," Naruto sighed heavily. "I just wish that I could find Orochimaru and end this threat straight away."

"Well," Momo stood up and hugged him. "The drones are looking and I have several programs running to try and identify any sign of where Orochimaru could be."

"There's always the meeting that was suggested," Naruto frowned.

"Do you really think Orochimaru would show up? It's clearly a trap." Momo scowled at him.

"I know," Naruto frowned. "But at least I would be doing something! Right now I'm doing nothing and that's the most annoying thing. I could at least be at Saki's house to help her prepare for Orochimaru's attack!"

"You remember the phone call right," Momo chuckled.

"Yeah…" Naruto frowned as he recalled his earlier attempt to warn Saki and the others about Orochimaru's plan to try and kidnap her. He had tried calling but Hanabi had answered and just hung up when she heard his voice. In the end he got Yui to call them, who was happy to help out.

Yui asked her to temporarily relocate Saki to Naruto's house where it would be easier to defend her. Hanabi was adamant that she and Rin would be able to defend Saki and pointed out that the entire staff of her mansion were practically a special forces outfit and more than capable of defending her. When Yui passed on Naruto's offer of assistance, Hanabi had made it clear that if she saw him he would be treated as a hostile and terminated with extreme prejudice, begrudgingly saying that she would call them should the situation become more dangerous. Whilst she hated relying on Naruto, she hated the thought of losing Saki even more.

"They have everything under control at the mansion." Momo smiled. "And we are perfectly safe here. The defence system is running and even if it should fail, between me, Nana and Yami we can defend this house easily. You should just focus on Onee-sama."

"What can I do for her though?" Naruto sighed. "I can't even touch her without being set on fire. How long will this stage last?!"

"Knowing Onee-sama probably a day at the most. The thought of not being able to share a bed with you will probably have her accelerate the pregnancy."

"Is that safe?"

"Perfectly," Momo fidgeted slightly. "I mean there was a study done a long time ago that suggested an accelerated pregnancy reduced the familial bonds between the child and its parents, but that was debunked not so long ago. Either way the twins will be perfectly healthy. The only risk is when she starts subconsciously drawing on her seal… It may affect you."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"The two of you are bonded and when a Devilukian with a Damus seal undergoes an accelerated pregnancy, they draw on the energy of that seal to assist the body in dealing with the rapid changes. Any excess Damus energy can bleed through the bond. Basically, you'll have spikes of rage as Satalin, Onee-sama's Damus spirit, is the Damus of Wrath, Rage, Lava and general destruction. They will be kind of random as well so have fun with that." Momo winked playfully.

"So I get a bit angry? That doesn't sound so bad."

"You should see what'll happen if I get pregnant." Momo wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck, "Belial is big on pleasure and pain… Maybe you'll orgasm randomly or maybe you will feel a sudden shooting pain~ Nana will just make you really sleepy seeing as hers is the Damus of Sloth."

"It seems to me that this bond seems to offer more negatives than positives." Naruto deadpanned.

"Well it is just like marriage," Momo laughed playfully as she released the blonde protagonist.

Before he could respond there was a soft hiss as the lab doors opened and a concerned Mikado walked out.

"How is he?" Naruto asked.

"You mean she?" Momo corrected.

"He's okay as far as I can tell, but undoing the changes will be hard. It looks like the new DNA is tightly intertwined with his human DNA. Separating them will be very difficult and dangerous, thanks to human DNA being so good at adapting to new genetic structures. This may have helped Rito survive, but it also means that his DNA and the alien DNA are merging all the while so the longer we wait the harder it will be to remove the foreign DNA. Unfortunately, the skill to perform the operation is beyond me."

"Let me guess, only Orochimaru could do that?"

"I'm not even sure he could. The initial binding is child's play compared to removing the genetic abnormalities."

"Damn it," Naruto hit the wall. "I should have gone with him."

"Rito will be fine," Mikado assured him.

"Is there any good news out of all of this?"

"Not much I'm afraid," Mikado patted Naruto on the shoulder. "The only good news I can think of is that thanks to Yami, we managed to reclaim Rito so you don't have to worry about him being used as a hostage. The thing that is worry me is… well I still can't work out why Orochimaru experimented on Rito. There has to be something I'm missing."

"Maybe he just likes messing around with humans?" Naruto suggested. "Or maybe he was planning to put some sort of mind control on him like he did with Yugito and Suzumebachi?"

"Possibly," Mikado nodded. "Still until I'm 100% sure I'll be keeping Rito-san isolated."

"You're the doctor," Naruto sighed tiredly. "I'm going to check on Lala." He left Momo and Mikado who shared a look.

"Hey Naruto!" Lala waved cheerfully as Naruto walked into the main living room. Lala was no longer in her containment vessel, but was wearing a bulky suit that covered her entire body. Nana and Yui were sat with her as they all watched TV. Whilst he couldn't see them, he could hear the tell-tale sniggering from the kitchen that suggested that Risa and Kushina were exchanging dirty stories.

"Is Yuuki-san alright?" Yui asked.

"He'll be fine. Mikado is just doing some more checks." Naruto glanced at a clock on the wall.

"You're thinking about going to that meeting, aren't you?" Lala sighed. "The obvious trap that Orochimaru has set up for you? Muu~ Papa is such a troublesome man isn't he?" Lala seemed to be speaking to her pregnant stomach that was definitely larger than it was an hour ago. "What is mama going to do girls?"

"Ah," Naruto blushed. "Man you see right through me."

"It isn't that difficult," Lala smiled cheekily.

"In fact it's painfully easy," Nana declared. "N-Not that I need to or anything!"

"Just go," Lala smiled. "Just make sure you come back safe and sound alright!"

"I promise," Naruto hugged Lala. "I'll be back before you know it."

"You'd better!" Lala crossed her arms.

"I'm counting on you to look after Lala," He smiled at Nana.

"W-what? Of course I'm going to help Ane-ue… But not because you told me to or anything!" Nana crossed her arms.

"What does the scouter say about her Tsundere Level?" Momo joked as she and Mikado walked into the room.

"NYA!" Nana hissed like a cat before diving at her younger sister.

"Oh my," Sephie smiled as she stepped out of the kitchen. "Play nice girls." She chuckled as the twins rolled around, grappling with each other on the floor.

"W-w-why are you trying to rip off my shirt?!" Nana cried out.

"So Naruto enjoys the show of course!" Momo smirked. "Come on show him a little flesh~ Keep him interested!"

"W-w-why would I want him to be interested!" Nana blushed crimson and grabbed her twin's tail with a triumphant yell. "It's over now!"

"A-ah!" Momo panted.

"Ha! Submit to your elder!" Nana smirked as Momo went limp as the sensations from her tail robbed her of her strength.

"N-Nana…" The subdued devilukian panted erotically.

"What is it? Want to admit that you've lost and that I'm the superior twin?"

"You… left an opening…"

"Eh?!" Nana cried out in alarm as Momo mustered the last of her strength to dive at elder twin's tail, grabbing it and breathing on it gently. "N-no!" She felt her knees buckle.

"Man all that moaning… Are you two into incest or something?" Kushina snorted. "I mean I like the roleplay, but the actual thing? Then again Naruto seems to be enjoying the show."

"W-what?" Naruto quickly tore his eyes away from the two sisters grappling on the floor. "I er… I have to be going."

"Don't leave~" Momo grinned. "Don't you want to see how cute Nana can look?"

"I…" Naruto and Nana looked each other in the eyes. "Er… I think Nana is cute anyway." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I-idiot!" Nana kicked out at Momo winding her and sending her sprawling away. "I-I'm not happy about that at all!" She started to storm out of the room, pausing only to look over her shoulder at Naruto. "I don't care if you think I'm c-cute!"

"Well that's good," Naruto chuckled. "Because I do."

"S-stop saying that!" Nana pointed at him angrily before heading to her room.

_'You should chase after her and kiss her!'_A familiar voice that sounded of harps and choirs rang out from the recesses of Naruto's mind.

'Raph?' Naruto blinked. 'I hadn't heard anything from you for a while.'

_'I've been watching Re: Zero! SuburuXFelix FTW!'_

_**'Personally I prefer SuburuXEmiliaXRemXCruschXRamX… What's the little thief girl called?'** _Came a voice that sounded like silk and contained the promises of pleasure and pain in equal measure.

'Hello As-chan. I don't know what you are talking about and honestly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.' Naruto rubbed his forehead as he attempted to tune out the two bickering ancients.

_'Rem is best waifu~"_Raphael declared before Naruto cut the link and shook his head with a wry smile before he walked over to the downed Momo, who was struggling to draw breath in her lungs after Nana's fierce kick.

"She… She is so tsundere it's killing me…" The winded Momo coughed out.

"Actually I think it's your teasing that's killing you," Naruto helped her stand. "And while I appreciate the show… You shouldn't fight with Nana so much."

"Hai, Hai," Momo smiled. "So… You liked that?" She put her hand on Naruto's crotch with a smirk. "Yep… Definitely feels like you like that."

"Shameless!" Yui cried out as she pulled Momo away from a sighing Naruto. "Don't you have any morals?"

"Well I'm sorry that I am eager to get me some Naruto-loving." Momo sighed dramatically. "We can't all arrange for secret rendezvous for him to make hot, sweaty, kinky love to us."

"I… We don't always have sex!" Yui defended herself.

_**'I know. Sometimes you just cuddle. What the hell?!'**_ Asmodea sounded genuinely disgusted.

_'Love is love, whether physical or spiritual.'_Raphael chimed in before Naruto closed the mental link again.

"Anyone else catch that 'always'?" Kushina grinned as she poked her head out of the kitchen with a cheesy grin.

"So what is it? 75% of the time?" Risa's head poked out just below Kushina's with a matching grin.

"I... It… It's not important!" Yui looked away with a strong blush. "Naruto-san and I are in a pure relationship!"

"Naruto-san? Man that's cold." Momo sighed. "I hope you don't call him that when you have sex."

"W-what I call him is none of your concern and I would appreciate if the matter was dropped! Such a shameful topic of conversation is… is wrong! Plus, what if Mikan-chan were to hear? She is a pure and innocent girl who is far too young to be… concerned about such matters."

"Mikan-chan is more mature than some in this house," Momo chuckled.

"She is super mature!" Lala nodded. "That's why she's in the harem!"

"I/He doesn't have a harem!" Yui and Naruto replied automatically.

"I wonder if they practice that on their secret rendezvous?" Kushina asked Risa.

"I can think of much more interesting things to be practicing," Risa smirked as she turned towards Naruto with a sultry smile. "So… Do you need some help working off the… stress from watching Nana and Momo's little show?"

"I'll help!" Lala smiled at him. "I'm really good at massages!"

"Can you massage him through that outfit?" Risa gestured to the bulky get up she was wearing. "Because I don't want to see you set Naruto on fire if you made direct contact with him. I mean I've heard of igniting a fire in a guy's loins but I don't think that was meant to be taken literally."

"Muuu…" Lala slumped. "I hate not being able to touch you."

"You will shortly," Naruto smiled at her. "There'll be plenty of time for massages later on. Okay?"

"Okay." Lala smiled softly. "We'll have to have aunty Yui and Nana keep an eye on the little ones though while we have our massage~"

"Wait a second," Risa frowned. "Why don't you ask Momo and I to look after your daughters?"

"I would imagine you would be too busy trying to make your own." Lala tilted her head cutely.

"I… Oh…" Risa felt her annoyance drain away with Lala's innocent and confused expression. "Right… Of course."

"The quicker Megal and Adon-chan have friends to play with the better!" Lala declared rubbing her stomach.

"Are we sold on those names?" Naruto asked. "There is no chance of changing your mind?"

"Nope." Lala crossed her arms and looked away childishly.

"Tell you what," Momo elbowed Naruto with a smirk. "How about when you get back from the obvious trap, you and I get to work on your next child? I'll even let you name them."

"But while you're sealed you can't get pregnant." Naruto pointed out.

"Doesn't mean we can't try," Momo grinned.

"W-wait!" Yui stepped in. "I… That is to say…" She fidgeted. "I believe that you should be married before you have any other children."

"How predictably pure," Risa sighed. "You wouldn't think she was such a freak in the bed sheets."

"W-w-what?!" Yui glared at Naruto, "What have you been saying?!"

"I've told them nothing," Naruto held up his hands with a soft smile.

"He doesn't need to thanks to my drones." Momo chuckled as she pressed a button, changing the channel on the TV to Yui's room several nights earlier where she and Naruto was kissing passionately. "My~ Looks like you were in heat or something." Momo teased.

"W-w-what?!" Yui went bright red as she picked up a chair and hurled it at the TV, destroying it in one. "You can't record Naruto and I… doing whatever we chose to do on our private meetings!"

"Don't worry," Momo assured her. "The drones power down when you actually start to get more intimate."

"S-still," Yui calmed herself. "It is improper to record people without their consent!"

"Okay, okay," Momo chuckled. "I'll delete the footage of you and promise not to record anything else in the future."

"Thank you," Yui nodded.

"So do you have footage of us all?" Kushina asked.

"You and Risa have whole hard drives devoted to the stuff you two get up to," Momo deadpanned.

"Great!" Kushina turned to Risa, "So I can show you that thing I was talking about."

"I am surrounded by filth and decadence," Yui shivered as she headed out of the room.

"Are you going home Yui-chan?" Naruto walked with her to the door.

"Ah, I was thinking about it." Yui paused. "I was wondering if you had changed your mind about meeting my parents?"

"Not at all." Naruto chuckled. "I'm sure they'll like me. Well your mother maybe not so much, seeing as she… well… you know." He laughed.

"Y-yes," Yui looked away. "That's why I have decided that we will have a test run of the meal."

"Oh?" Naruto blinked.

"S-so would you be free tomorrow? It is the last day off before school resumes."

"Oh, so the school is opening again?" Naruto paused.

"Somehow that principal managed to get reinstated." Yui looked annoyed.

"Sure," Naruto nodded. "I'd love to on one condition."

"Yes?" Yui blinked.

"Until this Orochimaru thing is over… Will you stay here? It's safest for you."

"F-fine." Yui nodded. "But I will need to get in touch with my parents."

"That's fine," Naruto smiled as he sat down to put his shoes on. "Well… Time to go to an obvious trap."

"I shall go with you." Yami stepped from the shadows. "That is not a request." She added in the same monotone.

"Yami?"

"It if is a trap devoted to killing you…" Yami stared blankly at Naruto. "I am the only one allowed to kill you."

"…Thanks?" He laughed weakly.

* * *

There was a slow creak as the side entrance to Saki's mansion opened and four cloaked figures crept inside, pausing only to marvel at the splendor of even the servant's quarters in the mansion.

"Well this was easy." The smallest one of the group chuckled as he pulled back his hood, revealing short purplish hair and an anhydrous face. Two crimson eyes looked around, "I'm sensing a lot of movement ahead.

"How many Ranmaru?" A gruff voice asked from a much taller figure.

"I can see around 30 heat signatures moving around, almost as if patrolling Raiga-sama."

"Is it possible that they knew we were coming?" A worried voice female voice mumbled. "Orochimaru-sama assured us they didn't know! Oh why am I here anyway… I'm not a fighter." She removed her hood and adjusted the glasses she was wearing. Looking side to side quickly, causing her long red hair to swing madly.

"You're a healer Karin, now be silent." The fourth member of the party lowered his hood, revealing the pale face of Orochimaru's favored servant, Kimimaro. "Our only objective is to secure Saki Tenjouin."

"R-right," Karin shivered at the cold look that Kimimaro was sending her. "I get it. Ran-chan can see where the enemies are so we can avoid them right?"

"Heh," Raiga grunted as he two pulled down his hood, revealing bright blue skin and almost white hair. "Why should we play it safe? Orochimaru-sama granted us these god-like abilities and I intend to use them to the full."

"If you risk the success of this mission I will kill you myself," Kimimaro threatened.

"Geez. Killjoy much?" Raiga snorted, "Come on Ran. Let's say hello to our hosts."

"Right!" Ranmaru happily followed the much taller man towards most of the heat signatures.

"Go with them," Kimimaro ordered.

"B-but…" Karin tried to protest.

"You will only get in my way." Kimimaro turned on his heels and quickly headed in another direction.

"S-sorry!" Karin squeaked as she ran after the other two.

"The signatures are all patrolling in this next area," Ranmaru whispered to Raiga. "Judging by the plans Orochimaru-sama provided us with… this must be the main entrance hall. There should be two staircases at either side of the room and a large fountain in the center. Several balconies overlook this area, so it we enter here it will be a slaughter."

"For them," Raiga boasted and kicked open the door. "Hello everybody! I'm here to kill you all!" He proudly walked into the center of the room, Ranmaru and Karin remaining in the corridor.

"Is that so?" Hanabi leaning against the fountain, dressed in her maid's outfit. "I suggest you look around."

"Huh?" Raiga glanced around, counting an additional 29 maids and butlers. "What? You think I'm scared of the staff?" He snorted.

"You should be." Hanabi clicked her fingers and as one, all the maids pulled assault rifles from under their skirts and the butlers produced handguns from their jackets. "Now if you surrender, I can promise you will leave here unharmed."

"Ha! It'll take more than few measly guns to stop me."

"I see," Hanabi smiled. "That is a relief. There was no way I could let anyone who dared threaten Saki-sama live and she would be so disappointed if I broke my word not to kill anyone who surrendered. Good bye."

"What?" Raiga blinked as Hanabi leapt backwards over the fountain, using it as cover as she pulled twin SMGs from under her dress.

"Fire!" Hanabi ordered and every single maid and butler opened fire with pinpoint accuracy. The controlled bursts of gunfire continued for a matter of seconds until Hanabi raised her arm to stop them.

"Hehehehe…" Raiga was stood, every single bullet frozen around him and an electricity like energy coursing through the bullets. "You can't hurt me like that."

"As expected," Hanabi sighed. "You too have been modified."

"Too?" Raiga snorted as Yugito and Suzumebachi, dressed in maid's outfits stepped into the room. "Don't put these weaklings in the same category as myself."

"I can't help but feel we're being looked down on," Yugito adjusted some fingerless gloves she was wearing.

"Me too honey." Suzumebachi's smile was sickeningly sweet as the soft humming of bees started to fill the room. "I think we need to teach sparky here a lesson."

"With pleasure," Yugito crouched, her body quickly changing until a thin blue fur covered her body. "I should warn you, this kitty has claws and knows how to use them!" She covered her arms in her own blue fire, charging into melee with the blue giant.

"I think you might find the limit of my powers shocking!" Raiga smirked as he coated himself in crackling armor of lighting and with a lazy gesture of his hand, sent the bullets orbiting him flying around the room, homing in on those who had fired the bullets and downing them all, except Hanabi who gracefully dived and rolled away from the bullets until they got lodged in the fountain.

"How punny." Yugito deadpanned as she traded blows with the lighting giant. Every punch she landed hurt her more than the giant but she refused to back down when Saki-sama's life was at stake.

'This will be difficult,' Suzumebachi narrowed her eyes as she completed her transformation, her body now covered in a thick black and yellow colored chitin with a pair of translucent wings fluttering so fast they were barely visible to the eye that allowed her to fly above the grinning giant. 'He appears to have incredible reflexes… Maybe his nerves somehow respond faster thanks to his electric powers? That armor makes melee incredibly unwise, although fortunately Yugi-chan's modifications allow her to take a lot of punishment.' She looked around, seeing the wounded but fortunately still alive maids and butlers that had been shot. 'No fatalities as of yet.' She glanced at Hanabi who gestured at Raiga and made the sign for 'Keep them busy' before silently slipping away from the fight.

"Argh!" Yugito cried out in pain as she was on the receiving end of a fierce punch. "What… My body… Am I slowing down?!""

"Started to notice have you," Raiga snorted. "My attacks have been messing with your nervous system."

"Damn," Yugito scowled as she conjured a fireball in her palm. "I guess I'll have to rely on ranged…" She was cut off as Raiga appeared behind her in a flash of lighting and kicked her hard in the stomach, sending her flying backwards and spitting out blood.

"Poor little pussy cat," Raiga mocked. "You should have stayed with the winning side." He paused as a swarm of bees tried to surround him, but with a simple discharge of electricity they fell to the floor twitching. "Really? Is that all you have to offer bee-lady?"

"Admittedly I do find myself at a disadvantage honey," Suzumebachi nodded. "But maybe you are starting to feel a little drowsy yes?"

"W-what?" Raiga stumbled. "W-when?" His vision started to blur as the smug Bee-lady hovered above him.

"That's the funny thing," Suzumebachi smiled. "While you were fighting Yugito I had one of my special bees sting you. Good night Honey~ It's all over for you."

"KARIN! Heal me now!" Raiga yelled.

"Er… Right away! Sorry!" The redhead ran out of the corridor and towards Raiga.

"Not so fast!" Yugito charged at Karin, only to be caught off guard by a bolt of lightning from Raiga that forced her to leap backwards as a chain made of light flew out of the red head's arm and wrapped around Raiga. All of a sudden Karin fell to sleep and Raiga smirked victoriously, looking perfectly healthy.

"What the hell?" Yugito walked over to the happily snoozing Karin.

"See Orochimaru-sama has done all sorts of work. Not only does he put alien DNA into us weak humans to make us that much greater, he uses alien technology such as the artifacts of a long dead species. Karin here was infused with Chains of Charity. They allow her to take on any damage that an ally has taken. She also has ridiculous regeneration."

"Why are you telling this to us?" Suzumebachi frowned.

"No matter what you do to me, she can heal it and you can't kill her. Go on and try." He boasted as Yugito snapped Karin's neck, only to watch in horror as her bones knitted themselves back and the girl continued snoring loudly.

"That was… Disturbing honey," Suzumebachi glanced at Yugito who shrugged.

"To think you gave up your chance at being gods for some rich bitch." Raiga laughed. "You have already lost!"

"Is that so." Hanabi stepped out of a corridor holding a strange looking sniper rifle. "Well then… Let's see if you can stop this."

"You foolish bitch!" Raiga snorted. "Didn't you see what I did to those bullets! I'm gonna send this one right back at you."

"You are welcome to try," Hanabi shouldered the rifle and pulled the trigger.

There was an almost comical look of disbelief on Raiga's face as the bullet passed through his electrical barrier and his head. He took a step back as if not willing to admit what had just happened before reality asserted itself and the giant fell with a crash as the marble floor shattered under the impact.

"Raiga!" Ranmaru ran over to the fallen warrior but was knocked out by a chop from Yugito.

"Regenerate that." Hanabi spat. "Your magnetism is useless against a glass bullet. Yugito, Suzumebachi, secure the others and assist the injured. I shall check in with Saki-sama."

"Hanabi-sama…" Yugito looked at the fallen enemy. "Why did you have a glass bullet?"

"My job is to assure Saki-sama's survival. After watching X-Men I decided that should a being that controls magnetism attack, I should be prepared to deal with them."

"But who would really believe that possible honey?" Suzumebachi blinked.

Hanabi merely smugly pointed to the now dead assailant.

"Point taken." Suzumebachi sighed. "I bet you even have precautions against Godzilla." She joked.

"I have several nuclear warheads should the situation call for their use." Hanabi stated.

"That… That was a joke right?" Yugito glanced at Hanabi who walked away without a further word. "Right?!"

* * *

Kimimaro paused as he heard the sound of gunfire, sighing with disdain. 'Some people do not understand the responsibility we received when Orochimaru chose us to rise above our human heritage. I understand my duty perfectly. To assist my lord in securing the future of humanity in a galaxy full of dangerous creatures.'

He continued walking through the corridors, pausing only to listen for the sounds of any patrols, although with any luck that idiot Raiga would attract enough attention to make his job fairly simple. He paused as he saw two heavily armed maids stood outside of a pair of double doors. Muttering a brief prayer for the souls of those about to die, he fired a bone bullet from each of his index fingers, killing the two maids and stealthily running to catch them before they fell to the ground, slowly lowering them and putting an ear to the door, only to quickly roll backwards as the door exploded into tiny fragments as Rin charged out, her blade a blur of movement.

"You!" Rin exclaimed before noticing the two dead maids. The shock was clear on her face before turning to rage as she gripped her her blade tighter. "You… You murdered them! You truly are nothing more than a soulless assassin."

"They were an obstacle in the mission given to me by Orochimaru-sama." Kimimaro intoned simply. "I took no pleasure in doing what had to be done for humanity's sake."

"Humanity's sake…." Rin grit her teeth and tightened the grip on her sword further, her knuckles turning white. "How is throwing away the very things that make you human saving it?"

"The Uzumaki's DNA is different as well. Has he not cast aside his humanity?"

"You misunderstand." Rin glared at him. "While he may not be human anymore, he never cast aside his humanity. It is not a matter of DNA, it is our moral codes, our very soul and being that defines our humanity."

"That is an ugly expression on your face," Kimimaro sighed. "I see now you are too attached to your imperfections to ever reach true perfection. A pity. Still, at least I can kill you before you fall that much further from your ideal form."

"My ideal form?" Rin took a deep breath. "You are no more than an assassin who seeks to harm Lady Saki. It is my sacred duty to ensure you fail. My name is Rin Kujou and mine is the crest of Gabriella!" There was a blast of blue light that temporarily blinded Kimimaro and when it cleared, Rin was surrounded by a ghostly blue kimono and with three pairs of angelic wings behind her.

"Such a pure form," Kimimaro sighed sadly as he formed his full body armor. "May the heavens forgive me for my sins." He pulled two katanas of bone from his shoulders and leapt at Rin. The two met in a fierce swirl of combat, sparks flying as Rin's new katana parried Kimimaro's bone swords.

"Tsubasa no Danmaku (A/N: Wing Barrage)," Rin leapt backwards, feathers falling from her wings before turning into small orbs of blue energy that pelted Kimimaro, forcing him backwards.

"My armor is made of my faith to Orochimaru. Such an attack could never hope to scratch it."

Rin merely narrowed her eyes and pulled out the sword Naruto had given to her, watching as it responded to her power, forming a bright blue Katana blade.

"I see… There is no more time for words." Kimimaro nodded. "Very well. Let me show you my devotion to Orochimaru-sama and how it trumps your misguided loyalty to Saki."

"That's Tenjouin-sama to you!" Rin launched herself down the corridor with such speed that paintings were dragged behind her. She hit Kimimaro's guard with the force of a truck, knocking him off of his feet and leaving him purely on the defensive as she rained down a furious barrage of attacks.

'An opening!' Kimimaro kicked her in the stomach, forcing her to leap back to regain her breath. There was a thin sheen of sweat on her brow as she raised her swords in a more defensive stance. "It is a shame to see you so loyal to such an unworthy master."

"Do not speak of things you know nothing about," Rin adjusted her stance.

"Orochimaru-sama saved me from certain death. When this cruel world had tried to end me, he helped me to my feet. He showed me the fragile nature of humanity and gave me the power to rise above their petty hatred and misguided kindness. Only through Orochimaru's cruel but fair leadership does this race have a future. Left to their own devices they will kill themselves. As you are demonstrating now." Kimimaro kneeled and put both hands on the floor. "Hone no Mori (A/N: Bone Forest)."

"What?" Rin quickly leapt backwards as bones started to sprout from the walls, threatening to impale her. She quickly slashed through the attacks, but they seemed to be endless.

"I can keep this up all day." Kimimaro remarked.

"As can I." Rin frowned as span through the air, her blades a blur of activity as the attacks failed to made contact with her. Right now it was a battle of endurance. All she had to do was keep dodging and defending until he presented an opening. Saki was counting on her and she would not fail.

* * *

"This is the place," Naruto approached the abandoned warehouse where he had been told to meet Orochimaru.

"Wide open spaces with plenty of places to hide," Yami intoned. "A perfect place for an ambush."

"Yeah," Naruto suddenly froze as a spike of intense rage channeled through him before going, leaving him feeling empty. "That… That was weird." 'Must be one of those energy spikes Momo mentioned. I hope Lala is alright…'

"Is Uzumaki Naruto's combat effectiveness compromised?" Yami asked.

"Are you concerned?" Naruto chuckled.

"Only I get to kill you," Yami reminded him. "If you are not at 100% then get out of my way."

"Don't worry," Naruto smiled.

_**'Just a little heads up.' **_**As****modea's voice sounded a little embarras****sed.**_** 'You might want to use Raph's powers rather than mine today.'**_

_'Why?'_

_**'Let's just say if you're using my powers and one of those spikes hit… It could get messy.'**_

_'What do you mean messy?'_

**_'Well, remember the corruption in your soul? Satalin could… empower it.'_**

_"Why?"_

**_'Satalin is the Damus of Destruction, Rage and generally being an asshole to everyone. More so than the rest of us, anyway.'_**

_'So she can help the corruption control me?'_

**_'Not so much, but she'll make you feel a strong rage and since your corruption feeds on your negative emotions…'_**

_'I see what you mean.'_ Naruto frowned._ 'Does Lala receive any feedback from me?'_

**_'No more than when than usual. I occasionally try to influence her when she opens your shared bond but I can only suggest things to Lala. I'm trying to manipulate her, but she's rather resilient to the idea of a massive orgy between all of the girls and yourself. Something about it not being very romantic.'_**

_'I don't know how I feel about you being able to talk to Lala.'_

**_'It isn't talking so much as planting ideas in people's heads using my corruption powers to increase her lust for you, just as Satalin will try and invoke your anger and trigger a berserker rage.'_**

_'That sounds very dangerous.'_

**_'Don't worry. So long as you aren't using my powers she can't really do much more than make you feel a bit pissed off.'_**

_'Can Raph talk to Lala?'_

_'Devilkin can't accept my energy so all I would do is give her a headache. Even being part Charmian won't help her out there. While most people can use Arcangus artifacts, only Humans are compatible with the power of an Arcangus Seal.' Raphael interjected. 'I can't even send her any energy anyway. The bonding is supposed to be between Devilkin, who are attuned to the power of the Damus, so isn't really made for the transfer of Arcangus energy.'_

_'I guess I really lucked out with my heritage, though it's working against me right now.'_

"Is Naruto Uzumaki not feeling well?" Yami's monotone interrupted his thoughts.

"Eh? What makes you say that?" Naruto blinked.

"You have been staring into space for the last few minutes," Yami continued to look around the area. "If you came here to die I will be willing to help you fulfil that wish."

"Hahaha," Naruto rubbed the back of his head, "Man you don't pull your punches do you Yami-chan? Still… You do have a point, I need to focus."

No sooner had he finished talking than the sound of a large engine roaring filled the air.

"What the…" Naruto dived to the side as Yami gracefully leapt over the large jeep that tried to run them over. "This is Orochimaru's plan? To run me over. Kind of disappointing if you ask me."

"Hah! That's where you belong! On the floor grovelling for mercy!" The doors to the jeep opened and a group of humans stepped out. They were wearing tracksuits with a panther emblazoned on it, the leader looked vaguely familiar to Naruto.

"Aren't you Gi-chan's chew toy?" Naruto's eyes lit up with recognition.

"After I kill you, I'm going to find that boar and turn it into barbeque!" The leader pointed at Naruto furiously, "And I'm Soma! Not some chew toy. No… That's not true… I gave up my old identity in the pursuit of power!" The hooded Soma gestured to his two minions. "We all did!"

"This doesn't sound promising," Naruto frowned.

"The Boss heard of our struggles against you and he gave us powers… Powers to beat you!"

"Listen I don't have time for you guys right now," Naruto frowned. "There's a powerful enemy who'll be here shortly, so how about you just leave?"

"You think after what we've been through… We're just going to give up? My honor demands your defeat!"

"Seriously?" Naruto groaned. "I have no time to deal with this! I have to find Orochimaru!" He turned to leave, infuriating Soma.

"Stop ignoring me damn it!" Soma cracked his knuckles. "We were given this power to kick your ass and redeem ourselves!" Soma growled in pain as his muscles started to expand under his jacket, ripping across the arms and legs as the fabric failed to cope with the increase in mass. "You're gonna get it now!" Soma's voice has gone deep and guttural as he stood before Naruto, a little over seven-foot-tall and covered in a thick brown fur. Two large tusks jutted out of the bottom of his mouth and stopped below his nose.

As soon as he transformed his two minions joined him, turning into equally large creatures. The one on his left turning into a rhino-like monster, a cruel curved horn jutting out of his nose whilst the second minion grew scales and claws, including a very dangerous looking claw on each foot.

"This appears similar to the modifications carried out on Yuuki Rito." Yami intoned as she got into a fighting stance. "It would be reasonable to assume that Orochimaru is behind this."

"Where the hell is your boss?!" Naruto growled at Soma.

"If you can defeat us maybe I'll tell you!" Soma cracked his knuckles. "We are the three sentinels of the Panthers!"

"A Rhino, a raptor and a… boar?" Naruto raised an eye looking at Soma. "Did you draw the short straw or something?"

"This is the form of my suffering!" Soma roared, apparently unhindered by his new tusks. "When I defeat you, finally the stain on my honor will be cleansed!"

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and mine is the crest of Raphael!" Naruto felt the soothing energy of his Arcangus spirit filling him as ghostly blue chainmail covered him with three pairs of wings fluttering lazily behind him. Faint whisker marks appeared on his face and his eyes seemed to glow with an electric blue haze.

"Target assessment complete. Expected Judgement Core power required… 0%." Yami intoned as she formed several blades from her hair and charged the two minions, leaving Soma and Naruto squaring off.

"For honor!" Soma charged forwards, his thunderous steps tearing up the concrete as he charged towards Naruto with all the momentum of a runaway train.

"Kaze Yari!" Naruto plucked several feathers from his wings and formed them into a single sphere before launching it at Soma as an invisible spear of wind, hoping to knock him backwards, but the charging creature simply barrelled through it, the attack barely even registering.

"Boar Slam!" Soma dived at Naruto who swapped places with the jeep, resulting in Soma tearing through it as if it were damp paper. "Face me you coward!"

"I really don't have time for this today." Naruto clenched his fists. "But if you know where I can find Orochimaru then I guess I have no choice but to kick your ass! Shoten X2." The pale blue aura condensed until it looked like Naruto was wearing blue crystalline plate mail. Plucking several feathers from his wings he launched a small barrage of wind spears, tearing up the pavement and forcing Soma back but achieving very little damage. "Now tell me where Orochimaru is!"

"I'm going to kill you for what I've been through!" Soma hurled half of the car at Naruto, who simply flew out of the way before charging at Soma and delivering a fierce punch that send Soma skidding backwards a few feet. Unwilling to give Soma chance to recover his guard, Naruto continued the offensive, infusing his fists with the holy energy that powered him and delivering punches that would have reduced a tank to a crumpled heap of metal. Whilst Soma could definitely take a lot of punishment, his attacks were too clumsy and unfocused to actually deal much damage or to stand a good chance of beating Naruto.

'I don't get it. If Orochimaru did send these guys to fight me, then why? They don't seem to be built to be good fighters, but can certainly take a lot of punishment… Crap! This was a stalling tactic! Does this mean he was just trying to keep me from helping Saki? That bastard!'' Naruto scowled and emitted a large amount of killing intent as another surge of anger coursed through his body causing his Arcangus aura to falter. There was a scream of pain from Raphael. 'Raph?!'

Before she could answer Soma had closed in on Naruto, who quickly crossed his arms over his face as the half-boar threw a punch that sent Naruto hurtling backwards, skidding across the floor until he came to a halt. His arms were bleeding and aching, but fortunately his devilukian heritage made him far more resilient to such attacks than a normal human.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Yami narrowed her eyes as she dodged a clumsy lunge from the raptor-like minion, using her hair to wrap around its neck and slowly choke the fight out of it. "You allowed yourself to lose focus." Yami leapt over a clumsy charge from the rhino like minion causing him to crash into his ally and the two to fall into a heap of limbs and cursing.

"I know," Naruto grimaced as he picked himself up. 'Damn… I haven't taken a hit without an aura on for a while. I forgot just how much stronger I am using an aura.'

_'I'm sorry! The intense rage ruined our connection.'_Raphael sounded on the verge of tears._ 'I wasn't expecting the surge of Damus energy so I couldn't protect myself against it. It'll take some time before you'll be able to channel my energy again.'_

_**'Damn it… You'll have to use my aura then. The rage shouldn't break it just… remember who you are alright?'**_

"I didn't know you cared."

_**'I don't particularly but I haven't finished corrupting you.'**_

_'Thanks... I'll try to keep control.'_ Naruto promised as he called on his Damus aura, the crimson energy flickering around him as much deeper whiskers appeared on his face. His eyes were tinted with a red hue and his canines were sharper, giving him a much more feral look. "Shoten X2!" He growled as his aura compressed around him. "Akuma Yari!" Naruto hurled a spear of crackling red energy that struck Soma straight on and sent him hurtling backwards. "Huh… That attack isn't supposed to be stronger than the Kaze Yami."

**_'Be careful. It might be Satalin's influence.'_ **Asmodea's voice made it clear she wasn't entirely sure.

"I… I won't give up!" Soma roared as he clambered back to his feet.

"Just tell me where your boss is!" Naruto frowned.

"The Boss… Why the hell should I tell you anything," Soma growled as he staggered to his feet, one of his tusks was snapped clean in half. "When this shitty world left us to die, he gathered us and gave us a purpose. He united us and told us that we could be more than this crappy world wanted us to be! We could be important! But you… you're just like everyone else on this planet! You constantly look down on us and try and beat us into the dirt so we feel like we don't belong. But this will be our world! The Boss has a vision for us! He has faith in us and I will never betray him!"

"Are you serious?" Naruto yelled back, "I don't know what is more infuriating, the fact that you're blaming the entire world for your misfortune or the fact that you believe Orochimaru is trying to help you!"

"I don't know who this Orochimaru is you keep rambling on about, but I can guarantee you the Boss is looking out for us all!" Soma pointed at Naruto angrily, "And now… I will finally defeat you and regain my honor!"

"What honor?" Naruto glared. "The honor that was the reason that you were ganging up on a young girl when I first met you?"

"Well… She disrespected the Panthers so…"

"The honor that had your gang come to my school with a gun and threaten my precious people?"

"That… I didn't know about that…"

"If you really have any honor at all, you'll tell me where I can find your boss."

"I… I can't do that." Soma shook his head. "Even if I wanted to, the Big Boss keeps his position secret at all times."

"So there really is no point to fighting you then?" Naruto cursed. "That means Saki's is my best bet." He felt a surge of anger but took a deep breath, hoping to calm himself down. He could feel a searing hatred building inside of him.

"Like hell I'm letting you get away!" Soma charged at him, the two exchanging blows as Naruto's Damus aura responded to his anger, greatly intensifying his strength.

"Stop wasting my time!" Naruto roared as he kicked Soma across the car park. "Just admit defeat and leave me alone!" He picked up the ruined jeep and hurled it at Soma as he started to stand back up.

"Uzumaki Naruto. You are acting irrationally," Yami warned him.

"I…" Naruto paused and tried to clear the rage from his mind but it was intoxicating. He could hear whispers in the back of his mind telling him to just let go. To revel in the destruction of his enemies. The longer he channelled the aura, the more enticing this whispers sounded to him. 'Would it really hurt to let myself run wild just for a few moments?'

**_'Naruto! Don't do it!'_ **Asmodea's voice had an edge of panic.**_ 'If you lose yourself, there's no telling what you will do. Remember who you are!'_**

"I won't lose to you!" Soma threw a punch intending to knock Naruto off balance, but the smaller male was easily able to dodge and counter with a fierce knee to the stomach, forcing Soma to bend over wheezing. The was followed up by a rising upper cut caused the half boar monster to flip before landing face down on the floor. "I… Won't… give up…" He struggled to his feet.

"Just give in…" Naruto growled as another spike of rage overwhelmed him. Suddenly his head was filled with a red mist and it was as if someone else was controlling his body. He watched disconnected as he started to stamp on the fallen Soma, each time hitting harder and harder until Soma was coughing up blood. Even so he continued.

_**'NARUTO!'**_

"Eh?" Naruto staggered back, the red mist clearing. "I… what…" He shook his head. "Crap did I do that?" He looked at the severely injured Soma. "Damn I…" He blinked.

_**'You need to stop using my aura immediately! You're too angry! If you go berserk while using my power… It will corrupt you beyond recognition!'**_

"That sounds really bad." Naruto dropped the aura.

"W-what…" Soma coughed up blood. "Why did you power down?"

"…You're beaten. There's no need to continue the fight," Naruto frowned.

"You think… You think you've won?" Soma glared at Naruto. "The boss won't lose to you."

"Just stay down." Naruto felt the dark rage stirring inside him again. "I'll deal with your boss soon enough." He glanced at the pile of limbs and groans that was the other two minions with a disinterested Yami sat cross-legged on top. "Come on let's get out of here," He nodded at Yami. "We need to go make sure Saki's alright."

"As expected, you failed completely." A cold female voice remarked causing Naruto to stop. Looking over his shoulder, Naruto saw a woman stood beside the beaten Soma, glaring at him. She had cold, black eyes and blue hair the framed her pale face. She wore a green dress and was twiddling a small crystal between her fingers. "You couldn't even keep him busy for five minutes."

"And you are?" Naruto frowned but was completely ignored by the woman.

"W-wait! I'm not finished!" Soma yelled as he pulled himself up into an uneasy stance. "I haven't failed just yet!"

"What are you going to do? Bleed on him?" She scoffed as she extended an arm and a large pink crystal extended from her palm. "No you foolish brat, your time is up."

"No... Not like this!" Soma clenched his fist. "I... I only wanted to avenge my losses... For me and my minions to be treated with respect rather than like the joke of the Panthers... We wanted to belong. Please Boss Guren! Give us another chance!"

"Tell it to someone who cares." She sneered as the pink crystal hovered above her palm. "You failed me and our benefactor. He was quite clear that we deal with this nuisance. Do you not understand? We were a small gang of nobodies until the big boss found us and I won't have you weaklings ruining a good thing. Now do me a favor and die before you ruin our good name any further. Sogeki hoseki (A/N: Sniper Gem)". The crystal floating above her palm suddenly pointed at Soma and fired straight through him, causing him to cough up blood and fall to the floor.

"What the hell?" Naruto felt a spike of rage that wasn't related to Satalin. "You... You attacked your own ally?"

"He was a fool," The woman scowled. "The Big Boss has no patience for fools. The only future for humanity is to be useful to those who would aid us. In order to save our species, the unworthy must be culled. I get no pleasure from this, but it is my duty."

"I get the feeling that your vision of humanity's future is one that I have no desire to be a part of." Naruto growled.

"If you cannot put the future of the species before your own petty desires then there is no place for you in our future. Maybe if your friends are at risk you will be more cooperative?" A brief smile flickered along her lips as she glanced at, "Maybe that little blonde you are with?"

"Yami?" Naruto glanced at the blonde who was watching this new arrival carefully. "She's perfectly capable of defending herself."

"How about sweet little Haruna-chan," Guren formed a crystalline Haruna in her palm. "So fragile... I wonder how much pain she can take before she..." Guren clenched her hand holding the model, which shattered, "Cracks."

"What did you say?" Naruto flinched.

"I'll bet our benefactor could do all sorts to a young girl like that. So sweet and innocent. A girl like that just wouldn't last if she were subjected to the genetic improvement procedure."

"…Shut your mouth," Naruto's fist were clenched so hard he was drawing blood.

"Hehehe…" Guren snorted. "Not to mention the Kotegawa girl? I'll admit I wouldn't mind playing around with her."

"…I would advise you to shut up. Now." Naruto bit his lip as he felt the rage within start to burn brightly, his crimson aura starting to manifest due to Naruto's intense hatred.

"The Big Boss knows about everyone you care about. Even your pregnant girlfriend." Guren formed a crystalline shield to block the crimson blast Naruto launched at her.

"This is your last warning." Naruto glared as his aura crackled erratically around him. He was vaguely aware of Asmodea's voice in the back of his head but it was drowned out by the overwhelming rage he could feel."

"Oh is the little boy getting upset?" Guren's shield transformed into a two small bundles, "I hear babies are especially useful in the genetic manipulation experiments," She laughed mockingly as she crushed their heads.

Suddenly the world went grey. Naruto couldn't move, but every part of him was screaming at him to make Guren pay for her threats.

**"My, my. Such a nasty being~"** There was a dark chuckle and Asuka, the manifestation of the corruption of his soul, walked into his view. Today she was wearing a long black dress that showed off her perfect thighs, although the image was somewhat ruined by her blackened and clawed feet. Likewise, her arms ended in corrupted mockeries of human hands, blackened and cruel with claws rather than nails. Her long hair snaked down her back to her waist and the only color in this greyscale world were her mischievous red eyes. **"Don't you just want to make her pay Papa?"**

"I…" Naruto tried to clear his thoughts, but the rage inside him wouldn't go away. "Why are you here?"

**"For Papa to be true to himself.**" Asuka stroked the chin of the frozen Guren, her face locked in a mocking sneer.** "To stop pretending to be something you're not."** She reached into her cleavage and pulled out a strange looking key. "**With this… You can make her pay."**

"Asmodea's key?" Naruto blinked.

**"Indeed. Papa's so smart,**" She sauntered over to him. "**And doesn't Papa want it? If you use Asmodea's corruption ability… You can really make her suffer."** She wrapped her arms around Naruto's shoulders. **"You can break her... Warp her mind beyond all recognition. Make... her... SUFFER!"** The last word was an angry hiss. **"Like she deserves to!"**

"I…" Naruto tried to convince himself that that was not the right thing to do. "I won't become a monster…"

**"Even if you become hated by the world. I'll always love you Papa. Besides…"** She smiled at him, her cruel, red, demonic eyes shining bright in the dull grey of the world,** "Once she sees the futility of resisting you… She'll tell you where to find her boss… Isn't that what you want Papa?"**

"I'm not that kind of person!" Naruto remarked.

**"Is that what you really think? Or is that what you're telling yourself?"** Asuka stood in front of him, twirling the ebony key between her fingers. **"Can't you see what Orochimaru will do to them? To Rito-san and Haruna-chan?"**

Suddenly the greyscale was replaced with Riko and Haruna laid on the floor, empty lifeless eyes staring at the sky and crystalline spears stuck in them as they held hands.

"N… No." Naruto bit his lip. "This isn't real!"

**"Dear Yui, Risa and Kushina are humans and we all know that Orochimaru would just love to experiment on them."**

Another scene, this time showing his human lovers writhing in agony as their bodies twisted into unnatural monstrosities, screaming at him to end their suffering as he watched powerlessly.

"Stop this… STOP IT NOW!" Naruto roared.

**"Poor little Momo never getting to have her own children and Nana… What will he do to her? And didn't she also mention Lala and your unborn daughters?"** A bloody Momo appeared before him, her eyes devoid of any signs of light as she stood before the bodies of Nana and Lala, her hands clutching her wounded stomach. **"But if you accepted your true self... Then you could save them. You could make it so they don't suffer. As you are you will never be able to save anyone. It was your weakness that got Rito-san captured. It's the reason that Saki has to hide in her house whilst assassins hunt her down and why Kabuto still hides in the shadows, targeting Momo! YOUR WEAKNESS IS WHAT LEAD TO YOUR FAILURE TO SAVE YOUR FATHER AND SISTER! How much more are you prepared to sacrifice in your defence of your 'humanity'?!"**

With a grand gesture of her hand, Naruto was forced to watch as everyone he knew and loved were tortured. He wanted to help them, but his body refused to respond. They screamed for him, but he could do nothing but watch, the rage within building and building until he just couldn't take it anymore.

"…" Naruto mouthed something.

**"Yes Papa?"**

"…hem pay…"

**"What was that?"**

"I WILL MAKE THEM ALL PAY." There was a madness to Naruto's eyes, the reflection of the all-consuming rage that gripped his soul. "I won't let anyone harm them. Even if I become a monster they hate... I will make sure they live!"

**"Take it Papa…"** Asuka offered him the key. **"Be who you're supposed to be!"**

He snatched the key and the images faded away and color returning to the world as time started to tick once more. A small part of him knew what he was doing was wrong, that this was not what his precious people would want, but this was drowned out by the thudding of his heart echoing in his ears. He had to protect that which he held dear and make sure nobody would ever threaten those he loved again. If they hated him... He would survive. At least they would be alive to hate him.

"And all this can be avoided by just surrendering," Guren continued unaware of Naruto's blind rage. "So what is it going to be?"

**"My name… Is Naruto Asmodea Deviluke."** Naruto growled.

_**'No… Naruto don't do it! In this state there's no telling what will happen!'**_ Asmodea's pleas fell on deaf ears.

**"And mine is the seal of Asmodea!"** Naruto roared as a tornado of black energy surrounded him, red lightning sparking as it struck the surroundings.

"So this is the power that could hinder the Big Boss' master plan?" Guren skidded backwards. "This power... This unbridled hatred..." There was a hint of fear in her voice. "What... What have I awoken? This isn't supposed to happen!"

"This is unsatisfactory," Yami narrowed her eyes as the blast faded away. Before them stood a creature out of some sort of nightmare. Its face was featureless except the crimson mane and two crimson eyes with no pupils, but a fire inside of them. His mouth opened as if the skin itself was splitting apart and an unholy roar caused everyone to skid backwards away from the beast. The skin of the creature was a writhing mass of crimson energy with a cloak composed of arcing red lightning fluttering behind it. The body of the creature was constantly changing from male to female and everything in-between as the unstable energies coursed through the creature.

"Uzumaki Naruto?" Yami frowned.

The creature only responded with a roar, summoning a large black sphere in one of its twisted hands before hurling it at Guren, who managed to just barely roll out of the way of the attack only to watch in horror as it struck the warehouse and exploded, completely obliterating the target and sending the damaged jeep and her minions, including the injured Soma, soaring through the air like paper on a breeze.

"I didn't sign up for this!" Guren cried out in alarm as she stepped backwards. The creature glared at her and charged, ripping up the tarmac which it's furious charge. "No... Stay away!" Guren tried to form a crystal barrier, but the beast tore straight through it and picked her up with its bestial front claws before slamming her repeatedly into the floor and hurtling her across the floor. The creature roared and advanced on her fallen form, with Guren powerless to do much but watch the beast's advance and throw crystals that bounced harmless from the snarling monster's skin.

"C-crap..." Guren coughed up blood. 'Orochimaru-sama... You said threatening his precious people would get him to back down... Did... Did you know this would happen? Is my gang just a set of disposable pawns to you, no matter the skill level? I thought… I thought I was important to you but I guess… I am no more use to you than Soma and his minions were to me…'

"Uzumaki Naruto," Yami stepped between the creature and Guren. "This is not you. Control yourself."

There was a brief pause from the monster, as if some struggle for control was taking place, before a crimson claw slashed at Yami and the assassin nimbly leaped backwards.

"So be it. As per our agreement," She transformed her hair into several blades. "I will now terminate you. Recommended Judgement Core Power: 35%. Primary Limiter Released." Yami smirked as her outfit changed into a more revealing one, her simple dress twisting around the star logo until it was barely more than strategically placed strips of black cloth to protect her dignity. As the energy coursed through her she seemed to age, no longer looking like a young girl but now appearing as a girl in her late teens with a modest chest. "Oh my… I guess I will have to play with you a little bit Naruto-kun. Let's mess each other up a lot okay?"

The creature fell down on all fours and roared at her, collecting a large amount of energy in its mouth.

"I so do love it when a man plays rough~" Yami licked her lips and dived forward.


End file.
